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Saturday, January 9, 2010 8:31 PM CST

I hope this update finds everyone well and warm on this very frigid Saturday. I know that it is not as cold here as many other areas, but last night’s 11 degrees was cold enough for us. Today was spent carrying water to the animals and defrosting everything frozen. The mockingbirds were very, very appreciative…….

I know I haven’t mentioned the mockingbirds in quite awhile, but they are still around, visiting and keeping us company. For the longest, even though they were around, there was really no special contact. Then came September 23rd, Cheyenne’s birthday. I was working in Del Rio, thinking constantly of our little girl. Donna was here in San Angelo, doing the same. After work I loaded up Cinnamon and headed to San Angelo arriving just after sundown. As Cinnamon and I got out of the truck and began to walk to the house, a mockingbird swooped down and tried to land on my shoulder. Wow, you can imagine how that made me feel. Even Ms. Cinnamon Sugar got into the act, getting really excited and spinning in circles….. Even though it was almost dark, that little mockingbird stayed around chattering and chattering, never going more than a few feet from us. I really needed that……… I miss our little girl sooooooooooo much….

I am still working in Del Rio, coming home on weekends. That sure is hard on Donna, working and taking care of everything at home. But time is going pretty quickly. It has already been more than 8 months. Just another 2 ½ to 4 ½ years…Ha.. I guess that is the way I have to look at it……I work for a Great organization, have a Great job, and a Great bunch of people working for me, so I really can’t complain……..Just hard living away from home………

Our other children are doing well. Michael is out of training and now on the job as a Secret Service Agent. Diana has taken a new position as a Customs Agent and is in Georgia attending training. Christopher and his family still live near us, but is actively seeking a professional move. That makes it a little lonely for us, but fortunately, even with the moves, the kids will still be only a few hours drive from here.

Thank you all for thinking of us and our baby girl, Cheyenne. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Dad
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Chey, Chey,

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mom and Dad


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Thursday, September 24, 2009 6:59 PM CDT

Our Baby girl would be 18……….Cheyenne was right in the middle of that little girl/growing up stage. Many things she said and did were far beyond her 13 years, but she could still make me smile with her antics. We miss our girl sooooo very much………

Yesterday Donna and I, 150 miles apart, celebrated Cheyenne’s birthday……..

Cheyenne’s Rally has come and gone. The weather was not cooperative at all. Leading up to the day of the Rally it had rained 9 days of the 12. On the night before the Rally it began raining and rained all night, all day of the Rally, and most of that night. The attendance at the Rally was scarce to say the least. Fortunately, with all the hard work by all the volunteers leading up to the Rally and the generosity of an anonymous donor it appears as if we may have raised more then $50,000 for the Children’s Miracle Network. Way to go Cheyenne!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thank you all that have helped and continue to help us and think of our baby girl, Cheyenne. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Dad
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Chey, Chey,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!!!!!MISSING YOU OH SO MUCH GIRLl!!!!!!!! Make sure you visit ……..Love you oodles and oodles pumpkin..To the moon and back a million, jillion times. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mom and Dad


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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God�s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God�s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God�s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family�s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called �Heaven�, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don�t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne�s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can�t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE�S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne�s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne�s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that �We want you here with us!� �Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!�


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne�s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne�s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne�s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna�s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, �I�M HERE� !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne�s mom�s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE�S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne�s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other�s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne�s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word �Mockingbird� on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, �Hush Little Baby�.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder� As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? �Hush little baby, don�t you cry, Daddy�s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don�t sing, Daddy�s gonna buy you a diamond ring.� Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. �Daddy�s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!� I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn�t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne�s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne�s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne�s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne�s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can�t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one�s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne�s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne�s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne�s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o�clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany�s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to �Forever� Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US��I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.�. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing�

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon�s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away�.. When they weren�t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna�s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don�t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs��.

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar�s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park�...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne�s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child�s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY�S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey�s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey�s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne�s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne�s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org.

Saturday, August 29, 2009 9:36 AM CDT

Cheyenne’s Rally is only 2 weeks away!!!!! This is the 3rd Annual Cheyenne’s Rally benefiting the Children’s Miracle Network. This year, like the previous, will include a motorcycle run, games, food, live music, a live auction, a penny social auction, and several other activities. All in celebration of Cheyenne’s birthday and helping her favorite charity, the CMN. You can read all about the events at www.cmnsanangelo.org.

We are really excited this year as an anonymous donor has agreed to match the first $50,000 in sponsorships, so we are really out there trying to line up sponsors. Unfortunately, since I am again working, and out of town Sunday evening through Friday night, it is rather hard for me to do much. That really leaves Donna, my sister in law Patrice and other relatives doing most of the work.
I have noticed that as the date draws closer, my emotions are on the edge. It seems just like yesterday I was holding my baby girl, but it has been almost 5 years…………..

My job in Del Rio is probably the best job that I have ever had. But that said, I have noticed lately that it is beginning to feel like a job, if you know what I mean….. And then being away from home 5 days a week is pretty horrible. I come back into town Friday night, spend Saturday at home, Sunday morning at church, then it is back on the road to return to Del Rio to start the week again. Fortunately the people that I work with are fantastic, so that helps me get back into the realm of work.

If you are not busy on Saturday Sept 12, hope to see you at Cheyenne’s Rally. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Dad
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Chey, Chey,

MISSING YOU OH SO MUCH GIRLl!!!!!!!! Make sure you visit ……..Love you oodles and oodles pumpkin..To the moon and back a million, jillion times. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mom and Dad


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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God�s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God�s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God�s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family�s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called �Heaven�, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don�t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne�s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can�t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE�S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne�s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne�s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that �We want you here with us!� �Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!�


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne�s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne�s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne�s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna�s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, �I�M HERE� !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne�s mom�s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE�S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne�s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other�s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne�s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word �Mockingbird� on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, �Hush Little Baby�.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder� As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? �Hush little baby, don�t you cry, Daddy�s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don�t sing, Daddy�s gonna buy you a diamond ring.� Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. �Daddy�s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!� I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn�t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne�s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne�s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne�s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne�s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can�t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one�s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne�s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne�s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne�s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o�clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany�s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to �Forever� Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US��I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.�. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing�

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon�s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away�.. When they weren�t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna�s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don�t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs��.

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar�s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park�...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne�s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child�s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY�S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey�s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey�s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne�s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne�s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org.

Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:48 PM CDT

I hope that this update finds everyone well. It has been a long time since an update, but things have been rather hectic in the Fiveash household. I have returned to work and unfortunately, the job is 150 miles away from San Angelo. With the exception of the travel each weekend, this is the best job I have ever had. I work for a great Agency and manager and have a wonderful group of people working for me in the office. That said, I really feel guilty because that leaves Donna doing everything around the house Monday through Friday. I don’t think she realized how much it takes to keep a rural home operational with all the animals and garden that we have built. The poor girl probably doesn’t get through working outside each day until dark. It wouldn’t be so bad if she was not working as well. After spending a whole day at the office, she gets home and starts the real work!!!!! So you can imagine how my weekends are also, trying to catch up before leaving again Sunday evening.

I have Cheyenne’s little puppy, Cinnamon Sugar, with me. We pretend that it is for her, but the truth is that it is probably for me……… She is taking it like a champ, waiting for me to start loading the truck before she gives me that look, grabs her travel toy and runs out to get in for the ride. Then I also really spoil her while she is with me.

Donna is staying busy with all kinds of other animals. We have been overrun by kittens this year. I believe every pregnant cat in the county came to our house to have kittens. Donna has 2 in the house and an untold number outside. Then add to that her new found pet (a tiny bird), she is really busy. We aren’t sure what kind of bird it is, as it is just now growing feathers, but she saved it after it fell out of a high nest right after hatching. By the way, newly hatched birds have to be fed every 15 to 30 minutes…… To much for me……

Thank you for checking on us and continuing to keep us in your thoughts and prayers. God Bless you all.
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Chey ,

Sure do miss you girl!!!!!!!! Every day more and more…. Stay close to mommy, OK, help her out when you can. Love you oodles and oodles pumpkin..

Mommy and Daddy



XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mom and Dad


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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God�s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God�s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God�s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family�s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called �Heaven�, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don�t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne�s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can�t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE�S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne�s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne�s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that �We want you here with us!� �Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!�


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne�s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne�s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne�s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna�s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, �I�M HERE� !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne�s mom�s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE�S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne�s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other�s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne�s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word �Mockingbird� on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, �Hush Little Baby�.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder� As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? �Hush little baby, don�t you cry, Daddy�s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don�t sing, Daddy�s gonna buy you a diamond ring.� Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. �Daddy�s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!� I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn�t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne�s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne�s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne�s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne�s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can�t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one�s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne�s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne�s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne�s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o�clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany�s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to �Forever� Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US��I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.�. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing�

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon�s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away�.. When they weren�t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna�s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don�t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs��.

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar�s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park�...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne�s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child�s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY�S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey�s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey�s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne�s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne�s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org.

Thursday, April 2, 2009 2:24 PM CDT

It has been a long time since an update, but not because lack of things going on around our household. Also caringbridge changed the manner in which to update the "classic sites", so it took me quite awhile to figure that out.

Christopher, Cheyenne’s younger brother, was able to come home on a 2 week R & R in February. It was really wonderful having him around awhile. Of course, he is now back in Iraq, worrying his mom and dad to death…… He is stationed near a little town named Tallil (near the ancient city of Ur) but is usually in various portions of the country on missions. Last week when the violence erupted in Baghdad guess where he was, Baghdad of course…. He is scheduled to leave Iraq in August and hopefully won’t be on schedule for a return or even to Afghanistan.

Cheyenne’s older brother Michael is doing well in his new job. He has been in Georgia undergoing training for several months, due to graduate in a couple of weeks. Then it will be off to Maryland for several more months of training. A few days ago he was injured during training and will be undergoing surgery to reattach a ligament on his thumb tomorrow. We are hoping and praying that it will not affect his training, as he could be sent through the entire thing again. His family is doing great, spending the last few months in Georgia with him, just returning a few days ago. We were able to see them yesterday, the first time in several months. Gosh those kids are getting big……… When I talk to my grandson Bryce on the telephone, I barely recognize his voice……

Diana is really enjoying living in her new home in El Paso, but mom and dad really, really, really miss not having her home or at least a little closer. She loves her job but has applied for a couple of positions that will advance her career. As unbelievable as it sounds, there is actually a chance that she may be selected for a position right here in San Angelo. Not sure how she would feel about leaving all her friends in El Paso, but it would really make us happy. The job would be a fantastic career move (it would be the job that I retired from) and we would get to see her a little more. I know that she misses seeing us, but mostly her nieces, little Maddie and McKayla. When she does come to San Angelo she really enjoys taking them around on shopping trips and just hanging out.

Several of our friends have been hospitalized lately, so we have been spending an awful lot of time in hospitals visiting. Thankfully, my mom and dad have avoided hospitals lately, so that is a good thing.

Yesterday we replaced Cheyenne’s flowers at Lawnhaven Cemetery with Easter flowers, but the wind blew 60 to 70 mph last night, so we will probably check them today. We sure miss our little stink…..

We still see Cheyenne as a little girl, just starting to grow up. We ran into one of her best friends the other day at the mall…. They really grow up!!!!!!

Other than last nights horrible wind, the weather here has been really nice. The garden is greening up, with all the floral trees starting to put on their leaves. Hopefully this next week I will start planting the spring flowers. It helps me to work in the garden. And of course, Cinnamon helps me in the garden, or at least she thinks she is helping. Watching me, pulling up weeds (and sometimes flowers) with her teeth, and always right there with me or trying to get in my lap…… She inherited a little of that “Stinker” from her mom Cheyenne………. Also with this weather the most of the birds have returned. The Mockingbirds seemed to move out into the pasture a few months ago but still flock to the house when I am outside, following Cinnamon and I around chattering. Cinnamon actually chases most birds, but never the Mockingbirds. She just watches them and gets within inches of them before they fly.

Sorry again for taking so long to update, but I hope this finds everyone doing well. God Bless each one of you.

Cheyenne’s Dad

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Chey ,

So what do you think of Blackjack’s head stone. Turned out pretty good, huh? We sure do miss you baby girl. Love you to the moon and back, a million, trillion times.

Mommy and Daddy



XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mom and Dad


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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God�s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God�s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God�s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family�s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called �Heaven�, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don�t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne�s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can�t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE�S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne�s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne�s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that �We want you here with us!� �Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!�


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne�s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne�s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne�s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna�s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, �I�M HERE� !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne�s mom�s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE�S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne�s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other�s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne�s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word �Mockingbird� on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, �Hush Little Baby�.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder� As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? �Hush little baby, don�t you cry, Daddy�s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don�t sing, Daddy�s gonna buy you a diamond ring.� Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. �Daddy�s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!� I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn�t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne�s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne�s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne�s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne�s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can�t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one�s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne�s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne�s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne�s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o�clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany�s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to �Forever� Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US��I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.�. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing�

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon�s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away�.. When they weren�t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna�s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don�t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs��.

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar�s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park�...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne�s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child�s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY�S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey�s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey�s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne�s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne�s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Monday, January 26, 2009 2:36 PM CST

I hope that this update finds everyone doing well as can be. With the holidays and helping Cheyenne’s brother and sister move, it has been really, really busy around here.

Michael started his new job in Lubbock and we were able to help him move into his new home. Gosh he has a lot of stuff!!!! Ha…… He had rented a very large storage unit and it was FULL. Most of his belongings fit into the largest UHaul truck that they have available with the remainder going up on weekends using our small trailer. He loves his new job and he and his family love the town and neighborhood that they have moved into.

We are currently in the process of moving Diana again….. Living in Sierra Blanca, Texas for a 24 year old single person is not the best. Not a lot to do… We helped her find a really nice home in El Paso and I am heading west in a few days to move her from Sierra Blanca to El Paso. She will be living in the neighborhood where all her friends live, so life should be a little better for her rather than just work and sleep.

The holidays around here were pretty depressing. This was our very first year without the kids. Empty nest syndrome, really bad……………………. We used to kid about having Cheyenne so much later than the other kids, so we would have her around after they all left to live their lives…………….. We all sure do miss our little stink…………………..

Last week we finally made it to one of the ASU Rambelles basketball games. After the girls won, by one point scored in the last 2 seconds, we visited with the Coach and a few of the girls, stopped by and visited Cheyenne’s bench and plaque near the Hall of Honor, and left to go home. We were talking about Cheyenne on the way to the car and Donna looked down and there in the parking lot was a Cheyenne bracelet……….. Donna had her’s, I had mine, but there it was as if to say hello from our baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Bless you all and thank you for thinking about us and our little girl……

Cheyenne’s Daddy

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Chey Chey,

Bet you have been riding Blackjack a lot. We miss going out to the barn and loving him, but we know you are taking good care of him now. Mr Allen made a beautiful marker for him, hope we can get it up in a few weeks. Miss you girl…. Love you oodles and oodles.

Mommy and Daddy



XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mom and Dad


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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Wednesday, December 3, 2008 2:44 PM CST

It seems as if the updates are getting farther and farther apart…. It is not really intentional, it is that just sometimes emotions get in the way of updating, this time no different.

Many of you probably remember Cheyenne writing about her beloved horse, Blackjack, seeing the photos of her on him or hugging him….. Cheyenne loved to doodle and write, and she often made lists of people and animals that she loved. Blackjack was always on that list….. We lost Blackjack several days ago. He was a young horse, always very healthy, and very, very loving. One in a million. He would see you coming and walk up to you and hug you with his head and neck, placing his head into you chest. Very, very sweet and gentle. He actually had a human quality about him. Of all things, it appears as if Blackjack had a brain tumor……… When we noticed he was sick, several tests were done and we eventually spent several thousand dollars trying to get him better. He was diagnosed with two diseases, both supposedly curable. But, treatment had absolutely no effect, with him getting worse daily. Even eventually Blackjack becoming paralyzed on the same side of his face as Cheyenne……. Donna and I buried him on our place, near the same area that Cheyenne loved to ride him……

The last few days we have spent many hours converting our home videos to DVD so they won’t become obsolete. In doing this, we were able to sit down and watch most of the videos. It was almost like Cheyenne was here again. Seeing her jump around, smiling and laughing. She was quite the stinker sometimes. On a few of the videos she would set up the camera and narrate, talking into the camera to the viewing audience. Some of the things she would come up with……….. We miss her sooooooooooooooooo much. Quite an exceptional young lady, that Cheyenne…… Quite a few smiles and tears watching those videos………………. In December 2003 our Miss Cheyenne set up the camera on a tripod and recorded the Christmas Tree decoration as well as Christmas morning opening presents………… Talk about being a character………….. Joking, laughing, those bright smiling eyes, she was just smiling all over… Sometimes she would break into one of her funny dances, running around with her shorts pulled up to her chest… Anything to get a smile from the viewing audience. On a several occasions she would approach the camera and whisper little silly things into it, knowing that we would only hear them watching the video later……….. This was also the Christmas that she was given her famous Go Kart, although I could not find a single video of her riding it. Lots of photos, but no video. WE LOVE YOU CHEYENNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In case we aren’t able to update again before Christmas, we hope and pray that all have a wonderful Christmas filled with fun, family and friends. God Bless you all….

Cheyenne’s Daddy

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Cheyenne,

You know how much we miss you… Every second of every day……….. Take care of Blackjack, ok, and give him a hug from us. We love you girl, forever and ever……….

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mom and Dad


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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Tuesday, October 21, 2008 8:34 PM CDT

Things are finally slowing down a little around here, allowing me to finally update Cheyenne’s site. The Rally was a huge success, bringing in between $35,000 and $40,000 for the Children’s Miracle Network. Some of the corporate funds have not come in yet, thus the estimate rather than a firm figure. This year was a nail biter, with Hurricane Ike approaching from the east and Tropical Storm Lowell (I didn’t even hear of it until after the Rally) approaching from the west set to converge on San Angelo on the day of the Rally. As it turned out, the day in San Angelo was beautiful and sunny, although many people that were to come from the areas to our east, west and north were flooded and did not make it. The day was a fun one, celebrating Cheyenne’s birthday and raising money to help other kids in her name……….. There is no doubt that Cheyenne was there with us all day……..

Over the past few days I finally was able to sit down and write a few thank you notes to many of those that helped out this year. I know that I should have done it sooner but the time just got away from me. There are sooooooooooo many people that I need to thank for all their hard work, volunteers, donating, coming to the event, on and on. None of this would be possible without all of them. The world is full of wonderful people……

Now that the Rally is over, hopefully I will be able to spend some time in Cheyenne’s Garden listening to and watching the Mockingbirds. Most of the other birds have moved along due to the horribly hot summer, but the Mockingbirds have stayed, following me around and singing to me whenever I am outside. They make me feel good…..

Diana is now living in far West Texas. We have spent a couple of weekends in Sierra Blanca helping her set up her house and now that she has moved, it is horribly lonely around here. It is a 6 hour drive one way, so hopefully we will try to get out there quite often to visit. She is such a sweet young lady……..

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Chey Chey,

We miss you baby girl. Love you to the moon and back, a million times…. Keep us company, ok……

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mom and Dad


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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 9:28 AM CDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!


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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Saturday, September 13, 2008 9:11 PM CDT

The 2nd Annual Cheyenne’s Rally went off today without a hitch. As of midnight last night we were expecting heavy rains and possible flooding from Hurricane Ike, but as the day started the chances of rain all but disappeared, leaving us with a sunny, beautiful day here in San Angelo. Of course, the numbers of motorcyclists were affected by Ike, but the Rally was still a huge success.

Many of Cheyenne’s friends were there, some coming several hundred miles, to join in the Rally, celebrate Cheyenne’s birthday, and help in something that Cheyenne felt so strongly about, the CMN. Then, so many of our family and friends turned out in mass, helping us help the children in the Concho Valley. Then there are all the new friends we made today………..

To say that Donna and I are tired, would be a major understatement. We probably walked or ran 100 miles each today. I believe the only other people that may have been busier, would the poor ladies from CMN. They did such a wonderful job of taking on this huge complicated event and making it work.

Thank you for checking on us and God Bless you all. Also, our prayers are with all the people that are suffering tonight and over the next several days due to Ike.

Cheyenne’s Daddy




Hey Sweetheart,

Wow, your birthday party/bash was really something….. Lots of smiles and tears. We miss you soooooooooooooooo much. We knew that you were with us today, thank you …………… What do you think about all those red t-shirts???? The town is full of them…We love you girl…………….to the moon and back a million billion times………..

Mommy and Daddy


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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Sunday, September 7, 2008 6:19 PM CDT

Donna and I have been really busy lately and although I have wanted to update several times, the time would just get away from me.

Cheyenne’s Rally is only 6 days away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is at least another month of work to do to help prepare for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have no idea how many people may show up this year, as how do you ever know???? We have really promoted the Rally and the Children’s Miracle Network, via email, internet, billboards, television, radio, posters, and word of mouth, etc…..

This year, in addition to the Motorcycle Rally, there will be a large children’s area, food, music, a penny social, live auction, displays, lots and lots to do. Mr. Don Dunagan, the official Disney voice of Bambi, will be there signing autographs, photos and posters. It is really going to be a birthday bash for our little girl, Cheyenne…. The T-shirts are really something this year. On the front left chest they have the Cheyenne’s Rally logo and on the rear it has “Cheyenne’s Angels” a motorcycle with wings, and “Putting our Kids First”. The design was a collaboration between the ladies at CMN and the local T-shirt screening business. They did a great job.

So, if you are in the neighborhood, or at least within a few hundred miles, drop by. The motorcycle rally starts at Family Power Sports and ends at Kirby Park and Pavilion here in San Angelo. All the other activities are at Kirby Park and Pavilion. For more information, you can visit the website at www.cmnsanangelo.org .

This is the time of the year that we get to see several of Cheyenne’s friends that have moved or live away from San Angelo. They make a point of joining us for Cheyenne’s birthday. Some wonderful friends!!!!!!

If you aren’t in the area that day, think of us. You can bet that the day will be filled with smiles as well as a few tears……

God Bless you all…

Cheyenne’s Dad


Hey Sweetheart,

Wow, your birthday party/bash is really shaping up to be bigger than last year. Make sure that you are there with us, ok….. We love you girl…………….

Mommy and Daddy


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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 9:36 PM CDT

I didn’t realize that it had been so long since I had updated…. We are muddling through life, staying busy. Donna commented the other night about our little world getting smaller… When Diana graduates from training she will be working near El Paso, Texas, at least 6 hours drive from here. Christopher leaves in a few days for his deployment to Iraq. Michael is almost through with the employment process with the U.S. Secret Service, so they most likely will be moving. It is really going to be lonely around here. Of course our lives were planned around Cheyenne, her being the youngest, our retirement, our daily activities, etc…. Everything changes in the blink of an eye………

I still have not heard anything about my employment opportunity, other than a couple of months ago saying that I was their choice for the position. If the job comes to pass, I will be gone 5 days a week, working about 150 miles from home. I guess Donna and I will really be lonely then…………….

I have kicked into high gear with this year’s Cheyenne’s Motorcycle Rally for the CMN. The wonderful people at Family Power Sports today volunteered to become the major sponsor for the event. Great organization!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This year we are offering various corporate sponsorship levels for businesses, so I have many, many to visit……………………

I understand the website is up and running similar to last year, whereas individuals can create or join teams for fundraising. There are a few photos of last year’s event there, on the Register page at www.cmnsanangelo.org . I am really excited about this year’s changes to the event, making it more child and family oriented rather than jus the motorcycles. We had a few thousand people there last year from the local area and not that much for them to do. Hopefully this year it will be different. Additionally a few celebrities have been contacted to attend, we are just awaiting word…………………

This was a funeral week. Two in one week, too many……………. It sure seems that we attend lots of funerals lately. I guess the older you get………………

Thank you all for checking on us and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Dad



Hey Sweetheart,

Missing you soooooooooooooooooooooo much. Been thinking about you lots and lots lately, feeling you with me. I love you girl. Can’t wait for mom to get home tomorrow. OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Daddy



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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Monday, June 16, 2008 1:43 PM CDT

Happy belated Father’s Day to all the dads. I know for me, the most important accomplishment in my life is being a father to my wonderful children…..

A couple of days ago I accidentally found a “Happy Father’s Day” card from Cheyenne. It was hand crafted, beautiful of course, and had Cheyenne’s love and admiration written all over it. I sure miss spending time with my little girl……..

We spent the day with my dad. He has not fully recovered from his latest health issues, but seems to be getting a little better. I learned so much from this wonderful man, he was and is a true Father. I could not have asked for a better dad.

I didn’t get to spend time with my children this weekend, with Diana in training in New Mexico, Christopher in training in Louisiana, and Michael at home taking care of the kids with chicken pox. I understand that even Michael and Jody have a few bumps…………… For whatever reason, I have never had the chicken pox, although I was exposed by all our children when they went through it, holding them in my lap and loving them.

The weather here continues to be almost unbearable. The high winds that we experienced for 24 hours a day for 2 weeks seem to have subsided but the days continue to be in the high 100’s with no rain in the forecast. Then there are all those poor people in the Mid-West flooding horribly. Donna returned a few days ago from visiting her family in Milwaukee and experienced the rain first hand.

The wind and temperatures really, really have taken a toll on Cheyenne’s Garden. Even though we water it daily, it is all we can do to keep the larger bushes and trees alive, almost giving up on the floral bushes planted last year and the flowers. We have set up special watering places for the Mockingbirds and other birds that now call our place home, and they seem to be holding their own as long as I give them fresh water daily.

Donna is back at work and swamped due to being out so long on vacation and business travel. I am still pursuing a post retirement employment opportunity, but bureaucratic obstacles seem to keep popping up. I have taken the attitude that if it happens, great, if not, it is the Lord’s will and I will go on. There are many things I can do, first and foremost, taking care of Maddie and McKayla until their dad returns from being deployed. And then there is Cheyenne’s Rally, soooooo much to do and really not that much time to do it. Our next meeting of the Rally committee is at the Children’s Miracle Network offices tomorrow to firm up the initial plans.

Thank you for checking and God Bless you all.


Cheyenne’s Dad






Hey Sweetheart,

Missing you soooooooooooooooooooooo much. We love you baby girl. That was sure nice of James, huh…… He and John are such great young men, then they think of us on those days………… we love you girl, with all our hearts……….
OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy and Daddy



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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Saturday, May 24, 2008 6:09 PM CDT

Hope this update finds everyone well. It has been an extremely busy and eventful last few weeks around our household, then today it is quiet and lonely.

Two weeks ago we rushed Cheyenne’s Grandpa (my Dad) to the hospital after he suffered internal bleeding to the point of almost losing him. Thanks to the wonderful staff at the Shannon Emergency Room and Hospital, he is now home recuperating. I know our Chey Chey was there with him during the entire ordeal.

Diana has accepted one of the federal positions and is attending the Academy for the next couple of months. We sure do miss her company and beautiful smile. She is sure a wonderful daughter…….

Then add to that Donna was gone a week for work and now is in Milwaukee for 2 weeks visiting her family, this is one lonely place. At least all the animals are here to keep me company, if not drive me crazy.

The weather has been unusually hot, in the 100’s each day, and it has been really taking a toll on Cheyenne’s garden. It seems as if I have to water every other day to keep everything from wilting, at least for the flowers and the most recently planted floral bushes.

The Children’s Miracle Network Telethon is on the 31st, so I guess I will doing this one solo with Donna and Diana gone. I have 2 time slots to talk about Cheyenne and promote the upcoming Cheyenne’s Motorcycle Rally in September. This year’s rally could not be held on Cheyenne’s birthday due to other conflicting events, so we are celebrating Cheyenne’s birthday a little early, on the 13th rather than the 23rd. I really need to get off by backside and start lining up corporate sponsors, hopefully, next week…..

Thanks for checking on us and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Dad






Hey Baby,

I couldn’t help but notice all the Mockingbirds today , bet you had something to do with that knowing how lonely I was…………….. I love you stinker….. Miss you sooooooooooooooooooooo much…..

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy and Daddy



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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Wednesday, April 16, 2008 1:39 PM CDT

Today Michael’s kids are over so I thought I would take a little break from a major project that I have been working on and update Cheyenne’s site. I really needed a break anyway….

This Easter season has been a real blessing to us, enjoying all the Easter church services and knowing that we will be reunited with our baby someday. Cheyenne really, really loved the Easter church services. I can still picture her walking down the aisle at church carrying the palm leaves on Palm Sunday, helping with the candlelight service, lighting the candles and carrying the cross as an acolyte, dressing up in her Easter dress and hat, and then of course, stuffing and hiding the plastic Easter eggs for the little ones to find.

Another one of our co-workers lost their child since the last update. His baby girl (she was born about a year before Cheyenne) was killed in a horrible traffic accident. A few days afterwards, we were talking to Evan at Lawnhaven (his daughter Shawna is just around the corner from Cheyenne) and he told us the story of something that had just happened to them. A message from Shawna….It was just as miraculous as a few things that have happened to us and let Evan know that his girl was around and ok.

Although it is only April, we have had our first meeting with the Children’s Miracle Network preparing for the 2nd Annual Cheyenne Fiveash Motorcycle Rally. That means my days are about to get very busy, contacting possible corporate sponsors etc…. It is hectic but we really enjoy it and it is such a good cause.

Our family is doing good. Donna is working and I am spending time at church, doing a major remodeling project, and trying to do yard and garden work. Diana is still in school and still traveling quite often for employment tests, interviews, etc.. As a matter of fact, she and Michael are in Dallas today going through a panel interview for the U.S. Secret Service. If they pass today, there is only one more step before hopefully being offered a Special Agent position. Diana has been offered a position with a different agency and is anticipating leaving in mid May to attend training, but she would rather have one of the positions in another agency for which she has applied. Christopher is still deployed in El Paso helping the Border Patrol, but we are uncertain about his Iraq deployment and probably won’t know for a few months.

Thanks for still checking on us and thinking about our Cheyenne. She was quite a young lady and changed our lives forever………….


Hi Baby girl,

The memories of you has brought lots of smiles lately. Everything we that we do we are thinking of you and missing you. Stay close, ok. We love you girl, bunches and bunches………………..

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy and Daddy



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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Monday, March 3, 2008 4:11 PM CST

Yesterday Donna and I were working outside in 84 degree weather and today snowflakes are blowing in the 40 mph wind!!!!!!! You just have to love this weather…

February has always been a really busy month for us and was an extremely exciting, happy month for Cheyenne.
The Children’s Miracle Network Radiothon is held in February and Cheyenne just loved helping them, raising money, visiting with all the other Miracle Kids, and kidding around with the Radio personalities and the CMN staff. Not to mention talking on the radio….
The annual San Angelo Rodeo is also in February. Not only did she have a great time at the Rodeo, but loved looking at the animals in the stock show, and better even yet, going to the carnival. All the rides, games, funnel cakes and cotton candy, laughing and playing with her friends, and better yet, the games she played to win the stuffed animals to send out to her friends…..
Then there is the Daddy and Daughter Dance……….. I treated Cheyenne like a princess and she treated me like a king…. We would get dressed up fit for a prom. I would get her a beautiful floral arrangement to wear, and off we would go. Hanging out, laughing, dancing, and just having a Great time. Many of her friends would be there with their dads….. Afterwards, even though it was late and a school night, we would go to one of her favorite restaurants where we would eat, laugh, and talk…………. A wonderful night. I miss this sooooooooooooo much. On the night of this year’s event I was at home, thinking and remembering, looked over at the computer screensaver, and there popped up the photo we had taken at the last Daddy Daughter Dance we attended. She was soooooo beautiful, sooooooooooo happy…….. That year she had already been diagnosed and was in treatment. She was actually a few months too old to attend, but I cheated and fibbed about her age so we could go again.
This is also the last month for the Rambelles Basketball team to play prior to going into the playoffs. Of course, Cheyenne’s dream was to attend ASU and play basketball for the Rambelles. She was such an athlete, there is no doubt that she would have played ball for them….

So you can imagine how this past month has been…….
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Hi Sweetheart,
Mommy and I are missing you soooooooooooo much, doing all the things that you just loved. Hope you were with us……….. M & M are a couple of stinks, huh????? Keeping us busy…. Love you Baby Girl, to the moon and back a gajillion times…………………..

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy and Daddy



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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Wednesday, February 13, 2008 12:27 AM CST

Spring here in West Texas is fast approaching and I am becoming a little anxious to get into the garden and begin its transformation. I know that even though it is now in the 70’s, we still have a few freezing nights ahead of us, so I just have to wait a little while longer……In addition to the garden this year, I have decided to do a little more rock work, build a few more planters and garden areas around the house. It will be fun….

Everyone is fine in our household. As Diana continues her quest for the job of her dreams, her brother Michael is getting in on the activity. A few days ago Diana and I were to travel to Dallas for an employment test, but a few days prior to leaving, Michael found out that he also had made the list to take the test. So they were able to go together, take the test and spend some quality time together.

This month is really shaping up to be a busy one for us. All the ASU Rambelle basketball games, the upcoming rodeo and CMN radiothon, a large motorcycle rally at the end of the rodeo, which gives me an opportunity to advertise Cheyenne’s Rally later in the year, and about a dozen other activities between now and the end of the month. It is going to keep us hopping………….

We heard yesterday that M & M (McKayla and Maddie) will be going to State competition with their basketball team. Now honestly, I did not know that girls that age actually went to state. M & M are the youngest on the team, with the other girls being 10 or 11. They have actually gone all season undefeated.

With the nice weather, I really need to be outside rather than on the computer. I plan on cleaning and repairing the bird baths today as I know that the Mockingbirds have been missing them.. We have one Mockingbird that is a little darker than the others, a young one I believe, that has taken quite a liking to me. It seems to really enjoy following me around, watching me, talking to me, and it actually seems to pose for me when I take its photo. It hasn’t landed on me yet as the others have done in the past, but it is still so very friendly.

Thank you all for checking and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Dad


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Hi Pumpkin,
We noticed that someone had left you flowers the other day. That was sweet, huh…. We miss you sweetheart, sooooooooooooooo very much and love you, love you, love you. Miss you to the moon and back…………………..

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy and Daddy



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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Friday, February 1, 2008 3:30 PM CST

Our weather here in San Angelo has been really something, but if I remember correctly, pretty consistent with past years. This time of year it is possible to have a 75 degree day and a night in the teens, with the wind getting up to 50 mph. But on those days with nice weather, it is perfect to work in the garden and began preparing everything for the year. Cheyenne and Diana’s gardens really took a beating this winter and almost nothing is growing, but it won’t be long before they are beautiful.

The Mockingbirds have stuck with us through the winter and are still quite friendly. Some of them actually seem to wait on me to come outside so they can follow me around “talking” to me. Then this time of year we also have all the other birds, cardinals, finches, robins, dove, etc. that flood the feeders when I feed.

We have been traveling quite a bit with Diana the last few weeks, with her going out of town for job interviews, tests, etc. She is doing wonderfully in school as well as in all her job endeavors. It appears as if her first job offer will be within a couple of months, although this semester will not be over until May. She will have to cross that bridge when she comes to it. She is being intelligent in her job search, applying not only for her dream jobs, but also a few other jobs to “get her feet in the door”.

Our older son Michael, has changed his future employment plans, and much to his dismay, as we say it, “He is following in his little sister’s footsteps”…. Ha…. He is applying for many of the same jobs that Diana is, taking the same tests and interviews etc., just a few months behind Diana……

Christopher is still on active duty in El Paso, TX, working with the Border Patrol. As far as we know, he is still slated for Iraq duty in July. His little girls really miss him while he is gone and they keep me busy. I have M & M (Maddie and McKayla) duty as far as picking them up from school, getting them places, babysitting, etc, when Leslie is busy with her job. It is a lot of fun being with those stinks…..

Motorcycle riding weather will be here shortly, and Donna, Diana and I will start working on the 2nd Annual Cheyenne Fiveash Memorial Motorcycle Rally, benefiting the local CMN. It is a lot of work, but also a lot of fun, meeting groups of wonderful people, business owners, and helping out the kids of the area.

Also this time of year the ASU Rambelles Basketball team is in mid season. The three of us have been going to most of their home games and enjoying watching them advance towards the Lone Start Conference Championship. We were told that a local girl received Cheyenne’s scholarship this year and in a few weeks will actually get to meet her at a Donor reception at ASU. That will be nice. At every game we attend, we make a point of visiting Cheyenne’s bench and looking at her plaques. It really makes us feel good to see that, and of course it was Cheyenne’s Coach Slate and Christene’s doings. They are really wonderful people.

Lastly, I started to not even mention it, but to Priscilla of San Angelo: You know not of what you speak!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is completely understandable for a person that has not traveled this road to not understand, but takes a different type person altogether to believe that they do and attempt to offer crude unsolicited advise when they are totally out of sync with our feelings and life. And when I speak of missing our little girl Cheyenne, all our family members are included, as we each miss her completely and totally, with all of our hearts and souls. Our lives are forever changed. No love is detracted from each other, probably the opposite, knowing how fragile life is causes us to appreciate and love each other that much more.

Thank you for checking on us and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Daddy
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Hi Sweetheart,
Missing you, missing you, missing you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How about those Belles????? They are having a great season, huh??? Help me with M & M over the next few days and weeks, ok…. We love you sooooooooooooooo much……

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy and Daddy



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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Thursday, January 17, 2008 9:50 AM CST

I hope that everyone’s Christmas was a wonderful one. Our time was spent with family, friends and church, relatively low key. For Christmas Day, our wonderful daughter Diana prepared a gourmet Christmas meal for the entire family. She spent weeks researching menus and recipes and prepared a very special several course meal fit for a king!!!! It was truly the finest meal that I have ever experienced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course, every second was spent missing our baby girl, Cheyenne…………..

We are having a relatively warm winter, however, today is one of those freezing days best spent inside. Normally Cheyenne’s garden would be beautiful this time of year, but this year’s occasional temperatures in the low teens at night has destroyed even most of the winter flowers. I can’t wait until spring when the garden begins its transformation.

Diana just began the new semester at school pursuing her graduate degree, all the while working and going through the process of employment interviews, tests, etc. She is such a wonderful daughter and young lady!!!!

Our younger son, Christopher, has been activated in the National Guard. Originally told he was going to Iraq in July, that was changed to be sent to El Paso to assist in securing the US borders. Now that he is in El Paso and away from his family, they tell him that he is still scheduled for deployment to Iraq in July. So it appears as if he will be gone and away from his loved ones much longer than anticipated.

Yesterday we were horribly saddened to learn that Pat Crane, one of Donna’s close friends and co-workers, had lost her son to an unknown illness. I know the horrors and grief that the family is now experiencing, so please join us in lifting the entire Crane family up in prayers………………

Thank you for checking on us and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Daddy
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Hi Sweetheart,
Missing you, missing you, missing you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How about those Belles????? They are having a great season, huh??? Help me with M & M over the next few days and weeks, ok…. We love you sooooooooooooooo much……

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy and Daddy



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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy


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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.


With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW


One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!


A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.


A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.


We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.


In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”


I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.







CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD


Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.


Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.


I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.


Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.


A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!


At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.


The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.


I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!


Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But the story doesn’t stop there!!


That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!


Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!


The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.


Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!


One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.


And it is not just here at home.


On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.


On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!


Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...


There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!



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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********


The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.



********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********



The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!




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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!


audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480


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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

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