History

Wednesday, December 19, 2007 5:39 PM CST

Less than a week until Christmas!!!!!!!!!! Today Cheyenne’s school let out at noon for the Christmas break. I can just picture how happy Cheyenne would be. Walking around with a huge smile, a dance and skip in her step, humming and singing Christmas songs. This was her favorite time of the year. I sure do miss my little stink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I apologize for not updating sooner on James, but there really isn’t an update… Basically, the Doctors and Specialists have examined all the tests and scans, and determined what is not causing the seizures. Exactly what is, is still a mystery. As of today, James is handling a form of medication well and the problems are at least in remission. James is very special to us, so I will let you know if anything changes.

Donna, Diana, and I have been really busy the last few weeks. Everything from Church, to Christmas Shopping, to traveling with Diana for job interviews. A few days ago we were honored to attend the annual Children’s Miracle Network Donor’s Recognition Event. At this event they formally recognize all donors of $10,000 and $1,000. We were thrilled to represent Cheyenne for her Memorial Motorcycle Rally and all the funds that it brought it. Additionally, you may remember Christene, Coach Slate’s daughter and Cheyenne’s good friend and basketball teammate. Christene arranged for several races (running type races) this past year to honor and in memory of Cheyenne. They announced that that organization had raised over $8,000 for the CMN. Way to go Christene!!!!!!!!

Thank you and God Bless each of you during this very special holiday. Merry Christmas!!!!!!! Hug you children and be sure to tell them how much they mean to you. Life without their physical presence is sooo hard………..

Cheyenne’s Daddy
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Hi Pumpkin,
We love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Missing you sooooo soooooooooooo much!!…………………… Make sure you let us know you are with us over this Christmas season, ok!!!! We still need that. We love you sweetheart, with all our hearts.. Take care of James, ok!!!
OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy and Daddy

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Wednesday, December 5, 2007 12:18 AM CST

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Our Thanksgiving was spent the way it should be, with family. The family gathered at our house this year for a traditional Thanksgiving and quality family time.

You may have noticed the guestbook entry from Rita, one of Cheyenne’s very, very best friends, mentioning James having some medical issues. Yes, this is Cheyenne’s James, one of her very, very best of friends and a wonderful young man. Results of the tests/scans taken a few days ago are not yet back and we are praying that whatever is causing the neurological problems will be treatable and minor. James and Rita are both like family to us, we care so much for them both….

We spent this past weekend attending an event that was right up Cheyenne’s alley!!!! We were at the 13th Annual World Tang So Doo Karate Conference in San Antonio. We were able to see many of our karate family and watch several people compete for their Black Belts. Diana had the honor and privilege of sitting on the Black Belt panel this year. Every year at the conference I marvel at the quality of young men and women at the event. From the Grand Master’s down to the Chodan ranks, it is apparent that this wonderful organization is doing something right. A person just does not see this quality of sincere, gracious, generous, and caring individuals everyday. And with this organization it is the norm, not the exception.

Last night Donna and I attended the Compassionate Friends Annual Christmas Candle Lighting Memorial and lit a candle for Cheyenne. There we also saw many of our friends, traveling this same road as we. Many of them we only see once a year, so it was really nice to be able to visit and hug… During the memorial, the address was given by a local pastor who, like us, lost his precious daughter. I had to smile during his talk as he spoke of his spiritual feelings right after her death, and then, like us, had God show him that his little girl was alright, in Heaven waiting for them. The events that transpired, just like ours, have no other explanation.

Thank you for taking the time to visit Cheyenne’s site, to let us know that she is remembered and thought of, that helps us tremendously. God Bless each and everyone of you as we near Christmas Season.

Cheyenne’s Daddy
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Hi Pumpkin,
Missing you sooooo much, of course…………………… Make sure you let us know you are with us over this Christmas season, ok!!!! We still need that. We love you sweetheart, with all our hearts.. Take care of James, ok!!!
OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy and Daddy

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Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Tuesday, November 20, 2007 6:48 PM CST

It has been a long time since I have written a journal, but I just did not have it in me to write…. Our weather here has been unusually warm, so I have been spending most of my time outside. I understand that it is going to change tomorrow and we are joining the rest of the country in winter. Just in time for Thanksgiving!!!!!

Everyone is doing well, just missing our girl….

About the only thing that has changed around here is our animal population. Our cat population really exploded recently, thanks to someone dropping off two pregnant cats. Those two cats produced 10 kittens!!!!!!!!!! We already have too many cats running around the place, so this we really didn’t need. I know our Mockingbirds were not too thrilled!!!! We had hoped to gentle them and give them away, but it seems that no one wants kittens. We actually picked a couple for permanent pets but that quickly grew to three. After we brought in the two, a third ran under Diana’s car as she was leaving, critically injuring it. Two weeks and many hours of tender care later resulted in it being a healthy and sweet little kitten. I believe the poor thing is now mentally impaired, but that just makes it sweeter. I know Cheyenne would be claiming this one and Cinnamon accepted it as her little sister, so I guess this one is here to stay.

The Angelo State Rambelles have begun their Basketball Season, so far winning their opener by 30 points. The recipient of Cheyenne’s Scholarship, Alix Flores, is a freshman on the team and was recruited from a small town not far from here, so we can’t wait to watch her play.
I hope and pray that everyone has a nice and safe Thanksgiving.

God Bless

Cheyenne’s Daddy

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Hi Sweetheart,

I guess you know that we had pancakes Saturday, the first time since we had them together, and I didn’t drop them!!!!! All I could think of was you saying “Pancakes” and laughing……… Miss you with all my heart. Love you!!!!!!!!!! Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy and Daddy

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Wednesday, October 24, 2007 7:39 PM CDT

The days and nights have been long lately…. Missing our baby girl with ever fiber of our beings. A person wouldn’t think that these feelings would just get stronger and stronger, but they do…

Cheyenne’s birthday celebration fundraiser is now over for the year. As a result of the 1st Annual Cheyenne Fiveash Memorial Motorcycle Rally we were able to raise more than $32,000 for the Children’s Miracle Network. People are so kind and generous….. As far as the event that day, we had over 220 motorcycles make the run and over 400 in the parking lot at Kirby Park, along with a couple of thousand people. It was an amazing site. Especially with all those people wearing Cheyenne’s t-shirts.

Speaking of the t-shirts, I have a story to tell. A friend of my mom’s was flying across the country the other day and was waiting in the airport in Las Vegas, NV. She saw a large group of people walking through the airport, all wearing the same type t-shirt. As she looked at the shirts more closely, yep, they were all wearing Cheyenne’s rally t-shirts!!!!!!!

Weather here in West Texas is still a little above normal for the year, although we have started having temperatures in the 40’s at night over the past few days. Cheyenne’s garden has basically given up for the year and over the next few days I will have to remove what is left of the summer flowers and plant the next season…. This is just about the most bare that the garden has been since we planted it.

Thank you all for checking on us and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Daddy

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Hi Pumpkin,

Guess you know how we have been feeling lately…… We miss you sooooooooo much. More than I could ever, ever explain or express….. We love you baby girl!!!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy and Daddy

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Sunday, September 23, 2007 9:05 PM CDT

Cheyenne’s birthday bash yesterday was one REALLY BIG one!!!! The 1st Annual Cheyenne Fiveash Memorial Motorcycle Rally & Show, benefiting the Children’s Miracle Network and celebrating Cheyenne’s birthday was a HUGE success. Hundreds of motorcyclists were joined by hundreds of friends, family, and supporters to make this event one to remember.

I have no idea how many motorcycles were there, but the parking lot reserved for motorcycle parking was completely full. I saw clubs from so many different locations, it was wonderful!!!!

So many businesses, organizations, clubs, and individuals volunteered their time, talents, and money to make this event better than we could ever imagine. I have sooooo many thank you cards to write, it will keep me busy for awhile.

The event started with Bishop Pfeifer saying prayer and explaining to everyone how special Cheyenne was to him. Then after a blessing of the motorcycles and participants, the bikes were off on a 170 mile ride.

Following the ride, there were motorcycle games, a motorcycle show, live music, food, booths, and a live and silent auction. Cheyenne and Diana's Karate school, The Martial Arts Academies, put on an unbelievable Karate demonstration. At one point one of the students broke a huge concrete brick as he was flying over a motorcycle!!!!! Lots and lots to do and see!!!!

Some of the items in the auctions were so special they deserve special recognition:

Almost everyone in the caringbridge world knows Maddie Paguyo (www.caringbridge.org/mn/maddie ). A wonderful young lady. As she was struggling with the same diagnosis as Cheyenne, she became a “big sister” to sooooo many children, including Cheyenne. Cheyenne and Maddie became long distance best friends and finally met in person in Heaven, where I am sure they are taking care of all the little ones they cared about so much. Maddie’s mom, Julie, arranged for her dad, a renowned wildlife artist from Pennsylvania, to send us two beautiful watercolor prints of butterflies for the auction. The originals are to be auctioned off this next Saturday in Minneapolis in honor and memory of Maddie at a charity auction. Following a very fierce bid war, these prints became the property of two special people in our lives, Coach Slate and Donna’s sister, Nene.

Another auction item, two beautiful handcrafted Adirondack patio chairs, were made with love from one of Cheyenne’s best friends, Rita. Not only did they make and donate the chairs, but Rita and her family drove over 200 miles to attend the event.

Then there were several “special” guests with some coming from long distances to help us celebrate Cheyenne’s birthday. Cheyenne’s best school friends, James, Rita, Michaine, and Shasta were all there as was the entire Wonderful Zello family (www.caringbridge.org/tx/benji ).

This was an event to remember!!!!!!!! I can’t wait until next year!!! It will be even bigger and better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you all for the support, thoughts, words and prayers. God Bless each and every one of you.

Cheyenne’s Dad

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was one big birthday bash for you yesterday, huh?? Missing you soooooo much….. We love you Pumpkin!!!!! Bet you had a big birthday party in Heaven with all your friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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THE CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL MOTORCYCLE RALLY & SHOW

To Celebrate Cheyenne’s 16th Birthday, her 3rd in Heaven

Benefiting The Children’s Miracle Network

When: September 22, 2007 8am – 4pm

Where: Kirby Park & Pavilion, 1400 Edmund Blvd, San Angelo, TX

What: 5 Stop Fun Ride – Motorcycle Games – Motorcycle Show – Food
Live Music – Prizes & Awards – Raffle of a 4 Wheeler ATV – Team Fundraiser Competition - Birthday Cake – Lots of Fun for an extremely worthy charity

Why: Cheyenne learned first hand how important the CMN is to children and their families. It quickly became her favorite charity. With the money that Cheyenne had left from buying little gifts for other sick children, she gave to the CMN. In her own words, “The children need it more than I do!” So, there is no doubt in our minds, Cheyenne would want her birthday to benefit the children.

Soooooo, if you aren’t doing anything on September 22, 2007, you are cordially invited to what we hope to be the largest motorcycle event in San Angelo’s history!!!!!!!!!!!! Additional information and Registration at www.cmnsanangelo.org .

If you can’t attend in person, you can still participate by helping us with the Fundraiser competition. You can join or sponsor our team or even start your own team. Prizes are being awarded for the Team’s that raise the most!!!!!!!!!! Just go to www.cmnsanangelo.org , register, and follow the instructions.

Thank you all and God Bless each and everyone of you.

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Sunday, September 23, 2007 8:44 AM CDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUMPKIN!!!!

WE LOVE YOU!!!

Friday, August 24, 2007 7:42 PM CDT

I finally had a few free moments to load new photos, including one of the oil painting by a friend of Donna’s mom. It is an amazing painting.

We have escaped most of the horrible damage from all the rain and floods that are occurring across the US. We received over 8 inches of rain in a few hours, resulting in a river of water 6 to 8 ft deep in places and over 100 yds wide directly through our property, but other than fences, no other damage or loss. We had a few horrified animals for a few hours, but they were smart enough to go to high ground to escape the raging water.

Cheyenne’s birthday celebration fundraiser (The 1st Annual Cheyenne Fiveash Memorial Motorcycle Rally and Show www.cmnsanangelo.org) is still consuming most of our time. We have hit a few bumps in the road with a couple of sponsors, but we are working around them. We hope to have the largest motorcycle event ever staged in San Angelo and have events for everyone to enjoy. Regarding the Team Fundraising effort, our team (Cheyenne’s Mom and Dad) finally pulled ahead of the British Bikers where we hope to stay (just in case Emma of the CMN is reading this!!!!) Emma is with the local Children’s Miracle Network and is from Great Britain, hence the name “British Biker’s:.

We hope and pray that everyone stay’s safe from all this weather.

Also, from experience, I know that David and Misty Ueckert are in need of prayers as they try to get by, minute by minute, missing Trent’s physical presence.

God Bless you all.

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Hey Sweetheart,

Bet you are showing Trent around, huh? Missing you even more today!!!!!!!!!! I love you girl!!!!!!!!!!

We love you girl, forever and ever, to the moon and back a billion times…….. Missing you more today than ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come visit when you can!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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THE CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL MOTORCYCLE RALLY & SHOW

To Celebrate Cheyenne’s 16th Birthday, her 3rd in Heaven

Benefiting The Children’s Miracle Network

When: September 22, 2007 8am – 4pm

Where: Kirby Park & Pavilion, 1400 Edmund Blvd, San Angelo, TX

What: 5 Stop Fun Ride – Motorcycle Games – Motorcycle Show – Food
Live Music – Prizes & Awards – Raffle of a 4 Wheeler ATV – Team Fundraiser Competition - Birthday Cake – Lots of Fun for an extremely worthy charity

Why: Cheyenne learned first hand how important the CMN is to children and their families. It quickly became her favorite charity. With the money that Cheyenne had left from buying little gifts for other sick children, she gave to the CMN. In her own words, “The children need it more than I do!” So, there is no doubt in our minds, Cheyenne would want her birthday to benefit the children.

Soooooo, if you aren’t doing anything on September 22, 2007, you are cordially invited to what we hope to be the largest motorcycle event in San Angelo’s history!!!!!!!!!!!! Additional information and Registration at www.cmnsanangelo.org .

If you can’t attend in person, you can still participate by helping us with the Fundraiser competition. You can join or sponsor our team or even start your own team. Prizes are being awarded for the Team’s that raise the most!!!!!!!!!! Just go to www.cmnsanangelo.org , register, and follow the instructions.

Thank you all and God Bless each and everyone of you.

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
http:/www.tumbleweedfoundation.org

Sunday, August 12, 2007 9:03 PM CDT

Today Donna and I attended the funeral service for Trent Ueckert. Trent, an ambassador for the CMN here for 2007 was an amazing young man. He was born just 3 months after Cheyenne, and like her, was an amazing athlete. Even after undergoing chemotherapy, he insisted on playing ball, riding his dirt bike, and doing all the things a 15 year old would do. I don’t think I ever spoke to him without him calling me “sir” and being about the most polite young man I had ever had the opportunity to meet. And then there was the constant smile, regardless of how bad he felt. Please join me in prayers for his family as they try to live life without their precious young man.

Trent is just one example of why the CMN is so important to us. We realize that the CMN will not discover the breakthrough to cure cancer, but it is there for all the kids. Whether it is for the kids with cancer, the kids going through the emergency room, kids having surgery, or kids that are sick, CMN provides the equipment and training to better treat our children and make their hospital visits and stays a little more comfortable.

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Summer has finally come to West Texas. We had such beautiful weather all year, but now we are paying for it with extremely hot and dry days. I have been spending many hours sitting at a table in front of various businesses around town selling the drawing tickets for Cheyenne’s birthday celebration CMN fundraiser. Then, when not doing that, visiting people and promoting the event, arranging for funding and auction items. It may be hot, but I enjoy helping the kids.. What better way to celebrate our baby’s birthday!!!!!!

My mother continues to improve, so thank you for all the prayers. Some of her problems from the surgery may be permanent (nerve damage etc), but she is so much better now than a few weeks ago.

Again, if anyone is interested in attending the 1st Annual Cheyenne Fiveash Motorcycle Rally and Show, or if you want to see what it is all about or check on our fundraising accomplishments, you can visit the website at www.cmnsanangelo.org and click on the “register” logo.

Thank you all and God Bless each and every one of you.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Hey Pumpkin,

So, we were wondering if you and Trent are talking about sports or riding cross country. You two have sooo much in common.

We love you girl, forever and ever, to the moon and back a billion times…….. Missing you more today than ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come visit when you can!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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THE CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL MOTORCYCLE RALLY & SHOW

To Celebrate Cheyenne’s 16th Birthday, her 3rd in Heaven

Benefiting The Children’s Miracle Network

When: September 22, 2007 8am – 4pm

Where: Kirby Park & Pavilion, 1400 Edmund Blvd, San Angelo, TX

What: 5 Stop Fun Ride – Motorcycle Games – Motorcycle Show – Food
Live Music – Prizes & Awards – Raffle of a 4 Wheeler ATV – Team Fundraiser Competition - Birthday Cake – Lots of Fun for an extremely worthy charity

Why: Cheyenne learned first hand how important the CMN is to children and their families. It quickly became her favorite charity. With the money that Cheyenne had left from buying little gifts for other sick children, she gave to the CMN. In her own words, “The children need it more than I do!” So, there is no doubt in our minds, Cheyenne would want her birthday to benefit the children.

Soooooo, if you aren’t doing anything on September 22, 2007, you are cordially invited to what we hope to be the largest motorcycle event in San Angelo’s history!!!!!!!!!!!! Additional information and Registration at www.cmnsanangelo.org .

If you can’t attend in person, you can still participate by helping us with the Fundraiser competition. You can join or sponsor our team or even start your own team. Prizes are being awarded for the Team’s that raise the most!!!!!!!!!! Just go to www.cmnsanangelo.org , register, and follow the instructions.

Thank you all and God Bless each and everyone of you.

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
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http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Thursday, July 12, 2007 9:44 PM CDT

UPDATE 07/22/07

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers for my parents over the past few weeks. My mom was finally released from the hospital a couple of days ago and is doing really good. With her home, my dad is also doing very good. They really need each other….

As a matter of fact, today was the yearly family reunion and both were able to attend. Of course, my mom is not moving around very fast, but is still doing so, so, so much better than she was while in the hospital.

I still have not had but a few minutes here and there but as soon as I can, I will try to put up a photo of the oil painting of Cheyenne that was given to us.

I am still running around like a chicken with my head cut off (is that just a West Texas saying?) working on Cheyenne’s fundraiser. Promoting the event and attempting to round up sponsors for the webpage fundraising and for auction items.

Again, thank you all and God Bless.

Also, if you have a moment, there is a very nice young lady that was a BIG Cheyenne supporter that needs our prayers. I have mentioned her before, her name is Taj Brown @ www.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown . Thank you again.

Cheyenne’s Daddy

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Yesterday Donna and I had the honor of attending the ribbon cutting ceremony for the new Pediatric Chemotherapy Clinic at Shannon Hospital here in San Angelo. Walking into the beautifully painted rooms, looking at all the children’s activities, game consoles, individual flat screen televisions, comfortable reclining chairs, beautiful paintings donated by local artists, everything suited to children in an attempt to make their chemo treatments a little less frightening and a little more enjoyable, reminded me of why the Children’s Miracle Network was so important to Cheyenne and of course, Donna and me. This wonderful new facility is now available thanks to the CMN. The funds raised at the last CMN Radiothon, in conjunction with the local radio station KIXY FM, were, among other things, used to construct and furnish the new clinic. Not only did they build the clinic, but they also now have a dedicated Chemo nurse on site so the children will not have to see different nurses, always wonderful Nurse Amy!!!!! With this new clinic, they now have the capability of running all the necessary blood work and tests on the children right here at the clinic, therefore allowing the children to stay right here at home rather than travel hundreds of miles a week, as Cheyenne had to do for her first year of treatment.

And this is just Phase I. I understand that plans are underway to include the capability to have complete treatment available in all the other children disease areas, including endocrinology and gene therapy. Then eventually, to complete the clinic with direct links to Cooks Children’s Hospital so the children will be able to have 100 percent of their treatments here, rather than traveling at all. Currently, the wonderful Dr. Bowman from Cooks travels to San Angelo with his staff to treat the children for their oncology needs.

This new clinic made me smile and made me proud to be even a teeny tiny part of the CMN. All thanks to all the generous and caring people in the world, people just like you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of the CMN, we are still hard at work on Cheyenne’s birthday celebration, the 1ST Annual Cheyenne Fiveash Motorcycle Rally, of course benefiting the CMN. Donna and I, along with Cheyenne’s very good friend James, attended a meeting relating to the event last Monday. The committee has really grown, with so many generous business owners and individuals stepping forward wanting to volunteer their time, energy, and money to make the event a success. The support that we are seeing makes us feel so good! As I had mentioned in an earlier journal, the website dedicated to Cheyenne’s event ( www.cmnsanangelo.org ) has an area dedicated to donating funds in Cheyenne’s name, and can be used to compete with other teams or individuals raising money (much like the Relay for Life). During the last meeting I overheard several of the committee members challenging others as to which business or motorcycle club could raise the most money!!!!! That’s what I like to hear!!!!!!

Donna returned from her visit with her mom in Milwaukee and it is not quite as lonely around here!!!!!! Her mom is doing great as is the rest of her family.

My mom is still in the hospital, having some good days and others not so good. Thus far she has had to have 4 units of blood, and today the Dr mentioned that a fifth might be on the way. They know most of the blood loss is from the surgery, but there might be other problems as well that they are looking into. Each day I meet my Dad at the hospital and go to lunch with him. With his medical condition he needs to stay on a strict diet, and with my mom in the hospital he sometimes gets too worried about her to look after himself.

Diana has registered to begin Graduate School next month. She is actually really looking forward to it.

While Donna was in Milwaukee she was given something really special. Donna’s mom is a member of Senior Citizen’s Group that apparently has a lady that is quite the artist. Donna was given a large oil painting of our beautiful girl, Miss Cheyenne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The painting soooooo captures Cheyenne. We love it and are looking for the perfect place to hang it. If I get an opportunity over the next few days, I will load a new photo page with a large photo of it. It is beautiful!!!!

Thank you for everything you do for our family and all the other families. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever
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Hey Sweetheart,

I guess you know that Grandma has been talking to anyone that will listen at the hospital, telling them all about you and showing them the article in the CMN newsletter. You are really famous there. All the patients, Dr’s, Nurses, and staff tell me that they plan to attend your Benefit!!!!!!!

We love you girl, forever and ever, to the moon and back a billion times…….. Missing you more today than ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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THE CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL MOTORCYCLE RALLY & SHOW

To Celebrate Cheyenne’s 16th Birthday, her 3rd in Heaven

Benefiting The Children’s Miracle Network

When: September 22, 2007 8am – 4pm

Where: Kirby Park & Pavilion, 1400 Edmund Blvd, San Angelo, TX

What: 5 Stop Fun Ride – Motorcycle Games – Motorcycle Show – Food
Live Music – Prizes & Awards – Raffle of a 4 Wheeler ATV – Team Fundraiser Competition - Birthday Cake – Lots of Fun for an extremely worthy charity

Why: Cheyenne learned first hand how important the CMN is to children and their families. It quickly became her favorite charity. With the money that Cheyenne had left from buying little gifts for other sick children, she gave to the CMN. In her own words, “The children need it more than I do!” So, there is no doubt in our minds, Cheyenne would want her birthday to benefit the children.

Soooooo, if you aren’t doing anything on September 22, 2007, you are cordially invited to what we hope to be the largest motorcycle event in San Angelo’s history!!!!!!!!!!!! Additional information and Registration at www.cmnsanangelo.org .

If you can’t attend in person, you can still participate by helping us with the Fundraiser competition. You can join or sponsor our team or even start your own team. Prizes are being awarded for the Team’s that raise the most!!!!!!!!!! Just go to www.cmnsanangelo.org , register, and follow the instructions.

Thank you all and God Bless each and everyone of you.

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Thursday, July 5, 2007 8:44 PM CDT

Donna, Diana and I, along with Cheyenne’s Garden, have been sooooo enjoying the weather we are having in West Texas. For the most part, the temperatures have been in the 70’s at night and 80’s in the daytime with rain or showers every couple of days. The yard is a bright green and the flowers and trees are beautiful. It took only a few days for everything to recover from the last hail storm and with the exception of the Butterfly Bushes, came back better than before. The Butterfly Bushes are still struggling from the 100 mph winds and large hail that hit it a few times this year, but they are improving.

We have avoided much of the flooding that has hit central and north Texas and actually are hoping for more rain here. There have been two instances of severe flooding in San Angelo in the past 100 years, and hopefully the dams and lakes will now prevent that.

Two things come to mind regarding this, sort of San Angelo trivia along the “flooding” line. When I was a boy, there was a television show named “Laugh In” that featured a Fickled Finger of Fate Award each show. They once awarded San Angelo the award for having this huge dam around dry lakes. Then a few years after that San Angelo made the national news for having one of their lakes (there are 3 surrounding San Angelo) catch fire (it was dry of course). But now, two of the lakes have substantial water and the other, well, it is still pretty much dry…

We have been spending a lot of time at the hospital lately and not much time at home, as my mom had surgery several days ago. She is now doing great and hopefully will be transferred to the Rehab floor tomorrow. We are more worried about my Dad, as he is 9 years older and not in the best of health. He is a normal Fiveash male, rather independent, so he does not like anyone “looking after” him. So, keeping that in mind, I have been “hanging out” with him when we are not at the hospital…….

Cheyenne’s birthday fundraiser is coming along. There is sooo much to do. People have been volunteering to help with certain aspects of the event for the actual day, but there are so many things that lead up to it. Right now we are trying to stress the competition part of the fundraiser on the website as most people fail to click on the “Registration” logo and never see that section. Hopefully when the advertisements hit the radio (The local Radio Station owner has donated up to 25 spots a day on his stations) this portion will pick up steam.. The CMN was soooo important to Cheyenne, and so we hope to do all we can…..

Thank you to everyone that checks on us, you all are wonderful. God Bless each and every one of you.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever
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Hey Sweetheart,

Grandma has sure been talking about you a lot lately. She really enjoyed the dreams and such. Stay close to both Grandma and Grandpa, ok…..Missing you even more today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love you forever and ever!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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THE CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL MOTORCYCLE RALLY & SHOW

To Celebrate Cheyenne’s 16th Birthday, her 3rd in Heaven

Benefiting The Children’s Miracle Network

When: September 22, 2007 8am – 4pm

Where: Kirby Park & Pavilion, 1400 Edmund Blvd, San Angelo, TX

What: 5 Stop Fun Ride – Motorcycle Games – Motorcycle Show – Food
Live Music – Prizes & Awards – Raffle of a 4 Wheeler ATV – Team Fundraiser Competition - Birthday Cake – Lots of Fun for an extremely worthy charity

Why: Cheyenne learned first hand how important the CMN is to children and their families. It quickly became her favorite charity. With the money that Cheyenne had left from buying little gifts for other sick children, she gave to the CMN. In her own words, “The children need it more than I do!” So, there is no doubt in our minds, Cheyenne would want her birthday to benefit the children.

Soooooo, if you aren’t doing anything on September 22, 2007, you are cordially invited to what we hope to be the largest motorcycle event in San Angelo’s history!!!!!!!!!!!! Additional information and Registration at www.cmnsanangelo.org .

If you can’t attend in person, you can still participate by helping us with the Fundraiser competition. You can join or sponsor our team or even start your own team. Prizes are being awarded for the Team’s that raise the most!!!!!!!!!! Just go to www.cmnsanangelo.org , register, and follow the instructions.

Thank you all and God Bless each and everyone of you.

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Sunday, June 17, 2007 9:31 PM CDT

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all those wishing me a Happy Father’s Day!!!!

Today sweet Diana was able to take off a few hours early from work and meet me right after church, hanging out with me the rest of the day…. We had a wonderful day at my parent’s house and just hanging out. Last night, Diana even came home with a pineapple cream pie, my favorite.. She wanted to surprise me with it so she made it (from scratch) at her boyfriend’s mom’s house so I wouldn’t know.

This evening Michael and his entire family came over and showered me with gifts!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a great family he has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chris had to work today, but I am sure I will see him and the girl’s tomorrow…

Donna is in Wisconsin visiting her family, so the kids went out of their way to be super to me today…………………….

I have really been busy working on Cheyenne’s Garden getting it back up to par after the storm 2 weeks ago. After 2 weeks of trimming and replacing, the garden was finally beautiful, just in time for another round of bad weather and hail Friday…………. Fortunately this time, even though the hail was a little larger than last, it did not last as long and resulted in a lot less damage.

Last week one of Cheyenne’s fish, Viviana, died. It is strange how a fish dying can have such an impact. Cheyenne won the fish at a carnival several years ago. It was this little dark green thing, about 1 inch long, looking more like a minnow than a goldfish. As it grew and became older, it turned to a beautiful golden color, with a huge tail. Cheyenne actually loved that fish!!!! She grew up with it. A few years ago Cheyenne bought a little sign that read, “I love you” and placed it in the tank. Viviana was probably 11 or 12 inches long when she died without warning. She was fine one minute and dead the next… Life is like that……….

I miss Cheyenne sooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still working on Cheyenne’s birthday fundraiser. Trying to make it the largest motorcycle event in San Angelo to raise as much money for the CMN as possible, and worrying to death that we will at least break even!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for everything and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever
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Hey Sweetheart,

Missing you even more today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love you forever and ever!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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THE CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL MOTORCYCLE RALLY & SHOW

To Celebrate Cheyenne’s 16th Birthday, her 3rd in Heaven

Benefiting The Children’s Miracle Network

When: September 22, 2007 8am – 4pm

Where: Kirby Park & Pavilion, 1400 Edmund Blvd, San Angelo, TX

What: 5 Stop Fun Ride – Motorcycle Games – Motorcycle Show – Food
Live Music – Prizes & Awards – Raffle of a 4 Wheeler ATV – Team Fundraiser Competition - Birthday Cake – Lots of Fun for an extremely worthy charity

Why: Cheyenne learned first hand how important the CMN is to children and their families. It quickly became her favorite charity. With the money that Cheyenne had left from buying little gifts for other sick children, she gave to the CMN. In her own words, “The children need it more than I do!” So, there is no doubt in our minds, Cheyenne would want her birthday to benefit the children.

Soooooo, if you aren’t doing anything on September 22, 2007, you are cordially invited to what we hope to be the largest motorcycle event in San Angelo’s history!!!!!!!!!!!! Additional information and Registration at www.cmnsanangelo.org .

If you can’t attend in person, you can still participate by helping us with the Fundraiser competition. You can join or sponsor our team or even start your own team. Prizes are being awarded for the Team’s that raise the most!!!!!!!!!! Just go to www.cmnsanangelo.org , register, and follow the instructions.

Thank you all and God Bless each and everyone of you.

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
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http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Monday, June 4, 2007 3:20 PM CDT

Donna and I had an eventful evening yesterday, thanks to West Texas weather. Probably one of the worst wind and hail storms since living here roared over our house around 6:30 pm yesterday. It was a sight to see, with the storm approaching at 70mph, a solid wall of rain, hail, and clouds all the way to the ground.

Cheyenne’s garden, the bushes, trees, flowers, and statutes all took a beating. Today has been spent picking up broke pieces and trying to straighten up. Hopefully though, the plants will all survive and become even more beautiful. We were able to protect all the pets and it appears as if Cheyenne’s horses and sheep made it through no worse for the wear.

I guess you know what has been keeping us busy besides the storm. The planning of Cheyenne’s Birthday Fundraiser for the CMN is going ahead full steam. So much to do and so little time to do it. I’ve posted a little something about it just below the journal and thanks to Stephanie’s mom and dad, a banner just above the journal.

Saturday night Donna and I had the pleasure of being on the Annual CMN Telethon and talking about Cheyenne as well as the event. Following one of the spots, the Telethon played a lengthy video of Cheyenne and Justin (Justin went to Heaven a few days prior to Cheyenne and was also a CMN Ambassador). The video was beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tears, smiles and tears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss my little girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for all that you do and God Bless each and everyone of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy
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Hey Sweetheart,

You sure a loved young lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Soooo many people miss you soooo much!!!! Hug all your friends for us. They are missed so much also. We love you to the moon and back, a million billion times.

Love you forever!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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THE CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL MOTORCYCLE RALLY & SHOW

To Celebrate Cheyenne’s 16th Birthday, her 3rd in Heaven

Benefiting The Children’s Miracle Network

When: September 22, 2007 8am – 4pm

Where: Kirby Park & Pavilion, 1400 Edmund Blvd, San Angelo, TX

What: 5 Stop Fun Ride – Motorcycle Games – Motorcycle Show – Food
Live Music – Prizes & Awards – Raffle of a 4 Wheeler ATV – Team Fundraiser Competition - Birthday Cake – Lots of Fun for an extremely worthy charity

Why: Cheyenne learned first hand how important the CMN is to children and their families. It quickly became her favorite charity. With the money that Cheyenne had left from buying little gifts for other sick children, she gave to the CMN. In her own words, “The children need it more than I do!” So, there is no doubt in our minds, Cheyenne would want her birthday to benefit the children.

Soooooo, if you aren’t doing anything on September 22, 2007, you are cordially invited to what we hope to be the largest motorcycle event in San Angelo’s history!!!!!!!!!!!! Additional information and Registration at www.cmnsanangelo.org .

If you can’t attend in person, you can still participate by helping us with the Fundraiser competition. You can join or sponsor our team or even start your own team. Prizes are being awarded for the Team’s that raise the most!!!!!!!!!! Just go to www.cmnsanangelo.org , register, and follow the instructions.

Thank you all and God Bless each and everyone of you.

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Sunday, June 3, 2007 4:30 PM CDT

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THE CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL MOTORCYCLE RALLY & SHOW

To Celebrate Cheyenne’s 16th Birthday, her 3rd in Heaven

Benefiting The Children’s Miracle Network

When: September 22, 2007 8am – 4pm

Where: Kirby Park & Pavilion, 1400 Edmund Blvd, San Angelo, TX

What: 5 Stop Fun Ride – Motorcycle Games – Motorcycle Show – Food
Live Music – Prizes & Awards – Raffle of a 4 Wheeler ATV – Team Fundraiser Competition - Birthday Cake – Lots of Fun for an extremely worthy charity

Why: Cheyenne learned first hand how important the CMN is to children and their families. It quickly became her favorite charity. With the money that Cheyenne had left from buying little gifts for other sick children, she gave to the CMN. In her own words, “The children need it more than I do!” So, there is no doubt in our minds, Cheyenne would want her birthday to benefit the children.

Soooooo, if you aren’t doing anything on September 22, 2007, you are cordially invited to what we hope to be the largest motorcycle event in San Angelo’s history!!!!!!!!!!!! Additional information and Registration at www.cmnsanangelo.org .

If you can’t attend in person, you can still participate by helping us with the Fundraiser competition. You can join or sponsor our team or even start your own team. Prizes are being awarded for the Team’s that raise the most!!!!!!!!!! Just go to www.cmnsanangelo.org , register, and follow the instructions.

Thank you all and God Bless each and everyone of you.

So I guess you can tell what has been keeping us busy. The planning of Cheyenne’s Birthday Fundraiser for the CMN is going ahead full steam. So much to do and so little time to do it.

Last night Donna and I had the pleasure of being on the Annual CMN Telethon and talking about Cheyenne as well as the event. Following one of the spots, the Telethon played a lengthy video of Cheyenne and Justin (Justin went to Heaven a few days prior to Cheyenne and was also a CMN Ambassador). The video was beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tears, smiles and tears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss my little girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for all that you do and God Bless each and everyone of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy
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Hey Sweetheart,

You sure a loved young lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Soooo many people miss you soooo much!!!! Hug all your friends for us. They are missed so much also. We love you to the moon and back, a million billion times.

Love you forever!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy.
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Monday, May 21, 2007 12:57 AM CDT

The past few weeks have been so so busy!!!!! I have learned, though, that busy is a good thing. It keeps the mind from wandering into all of those areas that are not the best memories….. So, we try to stay focused on the Great memories and works that help others, that is what it is all about!!!!!

Within the past 1 ½ weeks we have had 3 graduations in our family and we are sooooo proud of our children.

Diana graduated with a BS from Angelo State University. After taking a Semester off, she will be continuing in Graduate School. We convinced her to stay at home and attend ASU rather than several of the other Universities that she had chosen. It is soooo nice to have her at home. It would be alright with us if she stayed here forever, but, I don’t think that fits into her plans………..

Christopher, who had already served in the Air Force, decided that he had not yet done enough, so he joined the Army National Guard. He graduated from their school at Fort Sill, Ok the day before Diana. I am sure Cheyenne is really proud. If you remember, Cheyenne pinned Christopher’s stripes on him at his last Air Force promotion and sure loved his uniform!!!!!!!

Michael, our oldest, graduated from Texas Tech Saturday with a BS in Medical Management. With a 4.0 grade point average I might add!!!! Originally, he had plans of a career in Medical sales (sale and installation of artificial joints, etc) but after graduation, I believe we have convinced him to continue to Medical School!!!!!!!!

We missed the San Angelo Relay for Life this year as we were out of town for Michael’s graduation. The next day we were approached at church and told that Cheyenne’s photo was on the 10pm news on one of San Angelo’s television stations. My little girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We were going to have a team to participate in the Relay until we discovered the conflict. Next Year!!!!!!!!

Donna has been super busy at work including having to travel out of town on business for a week.

The bulk of my time lately has been working on the 1st Annual Cheyenne Fiveash Memorial Motorcycle Rally and Bike Show benefiting the Children’s Miracle Network. I am getting soooo excited about it, but there is so much work to do and such a short time to do it. Previously, we always planned to do something to celebrate Cheyenne’s birthday, but as the date drew nearer our emotions would get the best of us and we would just crawl into a hole and not do anything. We are changing that this year. We are going to celebrate Cheyenne’s birthday (her 3rd in Heaven) in a big way, raising money for the organization that she knew the importance of. If you remember, during radiothon in 2004, we saw Cheyenne running all over the house, really busy. We asked her what she was doing, and discovered that she had broken open her piggy bank and was gathering every cent of her money to donate to the Children’s Miracle Network. In her own words, “The children need it more than I do.”

It is shaping up fairly well. Last week the Children’s Miracle Network launched a website for the event (www.cmnsanangelo.org ). This site is dedicated to Cheyenne’s event, and makes me proud to see it!!! From this site a person can register to participate in the Motorcycle Rally as well as participate by becoming a fundraiser. It is set up where an individual or company can register to be a fundraiser, send out emails to their friends or colleagues, the friends or colleagues can in turn send out emails, and hopefully it snowballs with donations from around the country. Donna and I were the first Team that joined the fundraiser section, so don’t be surprised if you have received an email from us telling you all about it!!!!

The last few days have been spent contacting motorcycle clubs to invite them to attend and informing people of the fundraising efforts and website. I still have to visit several businesses for donations for the prizes etc., but so far so good. I have only had time to visit 2 businesses thus far. The Texas Roadhouse in San Angelo donated food and catering for the event and the Family Power Sports in San Angelo gave us a 4 wheeler to raffle off as well as volunteered their time and energy to make the event successful.

Soooooo, if any of you have some free time you are invited to attend what is hoped to be the biggest Motorcycle event in San Angelo history!!!!!!!!!!!!!! September 22, 2007, Kirby Park and Pavilion. Motorcycle Fun Run, Bike Games, Customized Motorcycle Show as well as new motorcycle display, Live Music, Food, tons and tons of prizes, awards, and fun. There will even be a birthday cake for Cheyenne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And if you can’t attend in person, you can still participate by becoming a sponsor or fundraising team for the CMN in Cheyenne’s memory and honor. Just visit www.cmnsanangelo.org , register, and follow the instructions. The more people that are recruited the more they can raise in Cheyenne’s name. So, please tell everyone you know about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you all and God Bless each and everyone of you.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy
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Hey Pumpkin,

Sure been missing you so much lately, as always. Hug Stephanie for us and you girls give her mom and dad some comfort. Ok……… We love you to the moon and back, a million, billion times…………….. Missing you, missing you, missing you!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
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http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!

Monday, April 30, 2007 6:36 PM CDT

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Allison, a young lady from our church brought to my attention a little boy, named Shane, who recently relapsed from leukemia and for his birthday is trying to receive as many birthday cards as he can. He hopes to beat the record and I really hope that he does. His birthday is May 30 and the following is his information:
Shane Bernier
PO Box 484
Lancaster, Ontario
K0C 1N0
Canada

http://youtube.com/watch?v=cXz6UJL5oDA

http://www.shaneswish.com/index.php
Due to so many of these types of emails circulating, I researched Shane and sadly, his is a true story. Further I discovered that although he may not accomplish the record for the most birthday wishes, he has a pretty good chance of setting a record, as The Guinness Book of Records is considering a change which would give him an opportunity.
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We have really been missing Cheyenne an awfully lot lately. Sometimes I just sit and go through her photos….. Remembering how sweet she was and how much fun it was to hang out with her…… I sure love that little girl………….
Donna, Diana and I have been staying really busy lately. It seems that there are so many things to do and never enough time to do them. Donna at work, Diana at school and work, spending time with the kids and grand kids, family, and me working in Cheyenne’s garden, working on the fundraiser for Children’s Miracle Network in honor and memory of Cheyenne’s birthday.

The garden and all the floral bushes and trees are finally recuperating from the Easter freeze. The day before Easter we had 24 hours of freezing rain and snow. The flowers and trees were coated with almost ½ inch of ice. I tried to protect as many bushes as I could, but had to leave most of the flowers and trees to fiend for themselves. Most were damaged, but it does not appear that any were permanently damaged.

Donna’s birthday gift came in a little early and is now in the garden. It is an absolutely beautiful bronze statue of a little girl releasing a bird above her head with one hand and holding a bird in the other. I believe the name of the statue is “Letting Go”. Donna loves it. I am sure it will be in future photos of the garden when we get around to posting new ones.

The “1st Annual Cheyenne Fiveash Motorcycle Rally and Bike Show” (name subject to change a little….) benefiting the CMN is going ahead full steam. I have located a wonderful businessman (owner manager of the local Texas Roadhouse) that is going to provide food and catering service, the local Family Powersports motorcycle shop has volunteered to help, and we have several people volunteering to be on a steering committee. We have the first committee meeting coming up on the 2nd of May, and hopefully by then, we will have a very good idea of exactly what we will be doing and how, and go from there. That means I will have to make hundreds of contacts. Hopefully, soon there will be a web page for the event and I will post it here. I know that Cheyenne would want me to do this and that makes it easy for me.

Thank you all for all that you do and God Bless each and every one of you.

Cheyenne’s Daddy

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Hey Sweetheart,

I have been thinking of you every second of every day lately, missing you sooooooo much. Guess you heard about Logan, make sure you put in a good word for him to hurry up and get well. I love you pumpkin, soooooooooooo much. A million jillion hugs and kisses.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!

Friday, March 30, 2007 12:31 AM CDT

Yesterday I received an email with a photo of a pine tree accompanied by a poem and explanation. Apparently, just around Easter, many pine trees begin putting on their pine cones, and in the process, the pine cones resemble little crosses. This morning just after getting up I was sitting at the computer thinking about the email and wondered out loud if our pine tree had little crosses. I said out loud to Cheyenne that I would just go outside and look. At just that time little Cinnamon Sugar jumped off my lap and ran to the back door, asking to go out. I told Cinnamon that she would have to hurry, as we were going out front to look for crosses. I let her out and stepped out on the back porch to be with her. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Our house is constructed of white stucco. When it rains the stucco gets wet and discolored, turning darker. It rained last night. There, under the porch (where it does not get wet), on the side of the chimney there was a perfect cross in the stucco. Not just a little one, about 3 feet tall. There was not discoloration above it or below it, or on the sides near the vertical cross, just a perfect cross!!!!!! And, it was not just any old cross!!!!!! Cheyenne loved to draw and paint. Many times she painted crosses. One such painting is on her laptop with which she used a drawing program to create. It is a beautiful cross, with the lines of the cross not perfectly straight, but slightly crooked. This cross on the side of the chimney is EXACTLY like the one she drew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I took several photos of it and hopefully will post it when I change Cheyenne’s front photo.

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Two days ago we received the copy of the book “Heaven” from Mr Alcorn’s Ministry. Near the front of the book is our baby’s name, included right there on the dedication page!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have almost exhausted our supply of books and now that Cheyenne’s name is printed in them we will be ordering another case.

Donna and I have been really busy lately. Between church, Diana’s activities, and the grand kids we have some event every day of the week. On certain days, we actually have 2 or 3 things that we do!!!!!

In between all those activities (and in between the rain, which we have been getting regularly with almost 5 inches in the past week and a half with more coming) I have been spending my time in Cheyenne’s garden and in the yard. I have almost finished Cheyenne and Mom’s cactus garden on the side of the house. It looks really good, I know Cheyenne is pleased… Also it is a really good thing that we have such a huge yard!!!! I have ordered 7 new floral bushes (all different varieties) to put around the house. At this rate I hesitate to think what our yard will look like in a few years. My mom tells me that our yard is like a big beautiful park already…. It is beautiful and it keeps me busy, doing something for Cheyenne, which makes me feel good, so that is all that matters.. I have also ordered a birthday gift for Donna, which will be a centerpiece for the garden. Can’t wait for it to arrive!!!!

Another piece of news, I had mentioned having a fundraiser in Cheyenne’s honor and memory for the Children’s Miracle Network. It appears that on September 22nd, the day before Cheyenne’s birthday (which would have been her 16th) we are having the “1st Annual Cheyenne Fiveash Memorial Motorcycle Rally and Bike Show” here in San Angelo with all proceeds benefiting the CMN. I have had the initial meeting with Sharla of the CMN and reserved a location. I have soooooo much to do, soooooo many people to talk to, but all in good time I guess.. The CMN is kicking off an internet/email based advertisement and participation for the fundraisers, and we are going to be the guinea pigs. So as this develops, there will actually be a website for Cheyenne’s Fundraiser, photos and all. I am really excited about it…

Thank you and God Bless all of you.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Pumpkin,

Missing you, missing you, missing you…… Love you oh so much!!!!! A million jillion hugs and kisses.. Stay close, ok, we love knowing that you are around.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!

Monday, February 26, 2007 12:39 AM CST

I thought I should let everyone know that our and Cheyenne's caringbridge friend, Jeffery Sample, Jr, has escaped the pain and suffering of brain tumors and is flying free and happy. He joined Cheyenne and all the other children this morning. Jeffery, a few years older than Cheyenne, was and continues to be one of our heroes. He and his family are such nice people.... They were one of the first 10 or so friends that we made through caringbridge.

God bless you Jeffery, give my girl a great big hug for me....

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February has been an exceptionally hard month for me….. There are soooo many things that Cheyenne and I have done together in February. Memories, lots and lots of memories…

Our last February together was one busy, fun filled time. Every time I turn around I am reminded of some of the wonderful things that we shared…..

In West Texas, the beginning of warmer weather. Wild go cart rides, riding Blackjack, on the 4 wheeler, all the fun out of doors activities…

Little Maddie’s birthday. Cheyenne really loved that little girl and loved to play with her. Maddie had a big party, and there was Cheyenne, chasing her all around…

Cheyenne playing basketball for the Mystic Slates……..

Daddy and Daughter Dance. Our last time to go. I actually had to fib about Cheyenne’s age to go, she was a few months too old…. I bought her flowers, we had our photo taken, we danced, danced, danced…… Afterwards I took her out to eat at the restaurant of her choice…… The way she would look at me and smiled. Gosh we had fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!

School Valentines Day Dance. You should see the photos…. She was one happy young lady, dancing, smiling, laughing, and hanging with her friends… She actually saved a dance for me……

The local rodeo and carnival….. Soooooooo many laughs, soooooo much fun…… Riding those rides, running with her friends, and of course, winning that flower that she was sooo proud of, only to give it away to a young lady in Military uniform, “because she was serving the country and deserved it”.

Although it was not in February until this year, we just finished the 4th Annual Children’s Miracle Network Radiothon…… Cheyenne’s most favorite thing in the world, raising money for the CMN!!!! Of course, Donna and I would not miss it for the world now…. I also make sure I donate Cheyenne’s 12 X 12 each year (12 dollars a month for a year) just as she did with all the money from her piggy bank in 2004……. Cheyenne had such a great time at all the CMN events……

We have not yet received the copy of “Heaven” with Cheyenne’s dedication in it. The nice lady at Eternal Perspective Ministries told me that she would mail us a copy as soon as they came out in print..

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Hey Sweetheart,

Missing you, missing you, missing you…… Love you oh so much!!!!! A million jillion hugs and kisses..

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 12:33 AM CST

UPDATE 01-26- 07 Friday

. As I type, with tears of joy and humble thanks in my eyes, I had to share a telephone call that I just received.

As you probably know, shortly after Cheyenne went to Heaven we started the Cheyenne Fiveash Memorial Fund to try to put a smile on a sick child’s face as well as help comfort families that are struggling, like we, after the loss of their child. As part of this, we send a copy of a wonderful book, “Heaven”, by Randy Alcorn, to parents that are trying to live life without the physical presence of their children. This book has helped us (and continues to help) soooo much and we felt compelled to share the wonderful news contained in the book. When we made the decision to send “Heaven” to our friends, we contacted the author’s organization, “Eternal Perspective Ministries” to order the books. They were sooooo kind, and insisted on selling us the books at cost. In the email, as always, I am sure I listed Cheyenne’s website.

Well, I guess our little girl and her story touched Mr Alcorn and members of his wonderful organization. Today, completely out of the blue, I received a telephone call from “Eternal Perspective Ministries “ telling me that from this date forward, the book “Heaven” will have a dedication to our little girl, our Miss Cheyenne, our Pumpkin!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW, Cheyenne, you continue to touch people from Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We love you girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I guess most of the country is in a deep freeze today, with West Texas not being an exception.

After several days of freezing rain, today it is finally snowing. Watching the snow fall this morning brought back memories of the last significant snow we had here, I believe in 2002, and all the fun Cheyenne and I had. Thinking about this I had to go through our photos to find the ones that memorialized that day, and I thought I would share a few of those with you. Since it doesn’t snow that much around here, we are not that adept at building a snowman, so please don’t laugh at it. We tried, and gosh it was fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So far it has not snowed enough for a snowman, but you can bet, if it does, dear old dad will be out there building a snowman today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Earlier this morning I was standing by the front door watching the poor Mockingbirds try to drink from the fountain. After a few seconds I swear, one looked over at the door, directly at me, as if to say, “Hey, we need some water” After watching me watch it for a few seconds, it flew right over to the porch railing, sat for a few seconds, then flew right up to the door, landed and just sat there looking at me. Not too much later, a second Mockingbird joined it, just sitting at the front door, waiting on me. Of course, I took the hint and carried water out to the frozen fountain. After drinking, these little birds called their friends and after a minute or so, the fountains (I put water in both) were completely swamped with Mockingbirds.

I hope and pray that everyone stays safe during this freeze. Stay in and stay warm if possible.

God Bless you all today and forever

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy
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Hey girl,

Gosh we miss you pumpkin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Make sure you join me if I build a snowman for you, OK!!! We love you to the moon and back a million, billion, trillion times…………..

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!

Wednesday, January 3, 2007 12:12 AM CST

Thanks to a brilliant son, we are now back online with a newly rebuilt, state of the art computer. We were experiencing so many problems with our old one it was time to replace it or have it rebuilt, which we did. Originally we thought it would only take a few days, but due to parts being back ordered, lost in shipment, etc… it took a lot longer than expected. Thank you Michael, we love you!!!!!!!!!!!!! One thing though, we inadvertently lost our address book in email, so it will probably take us awhile to repopulate it with everyone’s addresses. So if you don’t hear from us, you understand why…..

I hope everyone had a wonderful time at Christmas. We had some really great family time on Christmas, spending time with the kids, grandkids, brother, and parents. And of course, missing Cheyenne even more than normal, if that is possible…..

Following Christmas it has become really quiet and lonely around here. Diana left the day after Christmas for Junction, TX, where she is attending a Texas Tech University satellite campus, taking a course that is required for graduation. She was quite apprehensive about attending this class, as this campus is not an ordinary college campus. It is primarily used by the University for field study in wildlife, archeology, etc.., and actually more closely resembles a boy or girl scout camp than a college campus. It is set in the middle of the Texas Hill Country, in an almost park like setting.

You could see how nervous Diana was, looking around at the small dorm buildings and screened in enclosures, until she saw her assigned dorm. At that point she knew that everything was going to be okay. There on the outside of her assigned dorm was a large sign reading, “Mockingbird House”!!!!!!!

Thank you for checking on our family and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy
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Hey Cheyenne,

It looks like you had lots of visitors that left you little things, huh????? Take care of your sis while she is away… We love you soooooooo much and miss you to the moon and back…. Thanks for letting us know that you are around so much, it makes us feel better. Love you girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!

Thursday, December 14, 2006 7:06 PM CST

Just in case I don’t have an opportunity to update prior to Christmas, I wanted to wish everyone a Wonderful Christmas.

Our home computer has been having some major issues over the past few months and we are finally having it rebuilt. In the interim we only have access to the internet (very limited email) using Cheyenne’s laptop without all of our “favorite” settings, etc. So if you haven’t heard from us in awhile in your guestbooks or email, we will be back soon.

We are all doing as well as can be expected. Diana has recuperated from the Black Belt test and still doing wonderfully in school. Due to a mixup at school, she will be attending an out of town university beginning the day after Christmas for a short 2 week course. We are sure going to miss her while she stays in the dorm, but Donna and I are already planning several visits.

Again, we are wishing all of you a very Wonderful Christmas. Hug your children for us!!

God Bless

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Hey Chey, Chey,

Gosh, all those Mockingbirds really got my attention yesterday. Didn’t know there were that many in the entire county!!!!!!! We love you oodles and oodles, a million billion times, to the moon and back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We love it when you let us know that you are with us, you know how it really makes us smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Missing you soooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

Sunday, December 3, 2006 7:56 PM CST

UPDATE 12/10/06 Sunday

I just wanted to mention that tonight, at 7pm across the world, candles are being lit in honor and memory of all our children that have preceded us to Heaven. This is an annual Compassionate Friends event. I was pretty much heartbroken to discover that I had mixed up the dates of the annual candle lighting and the annual Christmas Memorial. Because of the mixup, we missed attending and reading Cheyenne's name at this year's Christmas Memorial, which was held last week.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's Daddy

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Hey Chey, Chey,

We sure are missing you bunches and bunches. We love you oh so much!!!!!!

Come help us put up the decorations.... And thanks for using your friend to remind us that you love to see all the decorations and get me off my rear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you to the moon and back, a million billion times..

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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**********Chodan Diana Fiveash*********

On 12/02/06, after a grueling all day test in San Antonio, Diana was awarded a Black Belt, 1st Dan, from the Tang Soo Do Karate Association. We are soooo proud of this girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was never a doubt in my mind, although at times I would look into those exhausted and glazed eyes, and I just wanted to hug her. We knew, that no matter what, Diana would never give up!

Even though we have attended several Black Belt promotion tests, I apparently did not realize or had forgotten how exhausting it was. By the time the sparring rolled around, which was the last event, the candidates were all pretty much completely exhausted.

So now we have two wonderful daughters on the Black Belt rolls of the TKA!!!! There is no doubt that Miss Chodan Cheyenne was there with Diana during the test, as was Grand Master George.

Not only did we get to watch our girl participate in the test, but we were again honored by being invited to represent Miss Cheyenne at the 12th Annual TKA Black Belt Banquet, held the night before.

The TKA is probably the finest group of men and women that we have ever had the privilege of being associated with. We are sooo proud to be part of this family!!!!!!!!

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Hey there sweetheart,

What about that Big Sis of your’s?? She sure worked her butt off, huh??? Bet you, GM George, and GM Cummings were smiling. I was a little worried about the boards, but Diana showed me I didn’t have to be…. We love you and miss you soooooo much. Love you to the moon and back a million billion times. Come visit, OK!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006 1:18 PM CST

I hope that everyone had a good Thanksgiving and spent some wonderful time with their family, loved ones, and friends. That’s what is all about..

Holidays are no longer what they were in our household, but we did have a nice quiet day with all our family.

It has now been over two years since we have held our baby girl and it hurts soooo, soooo much, still. I honestly can not imagine going through life with this void, this terrible hurt, every second of every day. This sounds horrible to say, because I wish with all my heart and soul that we were the only family on earth to ever have to experience this horrible pain, but having such wonderful friends that have and are experiencing this, is part of our therapy, so to speak. On those days when the pain is so unbearable, the loneliness, the missing of our baby, the feelings that we are so alone and the depression is so intense, we remember our friends. Those that call unexpectedly, email, sign the guestbook, and are always there for us. Talking to them and knowing that we are not crazy, that they also have exactly the same feelings, really helps us get through the day. We discover that losing a young child is not something that you “get over”, ever. You just put up a good front in public, around family and friends. You actually get very good at it… But we all have to spend time in private, or see, hear, or experience those little things that mean nothing to others that immediately brings back the memories. A few days ago I was relaying a story to Donna that had happened to Maddie’s mom, Julie, how a seemingly innocent conversation brought about an immediate burst of tears. Donna knew all to well the feeling and experience. It just happens…….

Donna and I have our little “things” that we do to cope, that helps us get through the days. Our therapy… The garden, all the little projects that we are constantly involved in, the grandkids, Diana, our caringbridge children, ASU Basketball, karate, The Cheyenne Memorial Fund, and of course, little Cinnamon Sugar.

For a puppy, Cinnamon really knows how to keep me going. Complete and undeserving love and affection. That little dog is really something. Cheyenne really outdid herself when she picked this little puppy from the pound. Cinnamon gave Cheyenne complete and undying love. Every second of every day Cinnamon lived for Cheyenne, and the feeling was pretty much mutual. Now that Cinnamon picked me as her constant companion, she helps keep me sane. She insists on being with me constantly. If I am in the house she is on my lap, if I am in the car she has her spot, if I am outside she is within 2 or 3 inches of me, and if I am in bed, she is cuddled under my arm. Somehow she senses when I am feeling low. I don’t think I have started to cry even once without her jumping up on my chest and start to franticly clean away my tears as well as wash my entire face. If I am standing or walking when she senses my emotions getting the best of me, she has this little thing that she does, running around me trying to trip me by biting my pants leg and shoes, then bouncing up and down on her front legs doing this little “bark, bark, ruff” that she used to save just for Cheyenne. One sweet little puppy!!!!

The ASU Rambelles basketball season has begun. Another one of our big therapies……. The coach is shooting for an undefeated season, and so far is on track. We aren’t yet sure which team member received Cheyenne’s Scholarship. If I get a chance I’ll ask the coach tonight. And of course, at each game I make a point of spending time at Cheyenne’s bench. It is sooo beautiful. That great big bench and silk tree/plant with Cheyenne’s name, then right next to it the large plaque with Cheyenne’s photo….. I enjoy just sitting there talking to my girl, because, I KNOW that she is there, as she wouldn’t miss a game!!!!!!!!

This weekend is Diana’s BIG day!!!! She will be going up for her Black Belt in karate this weekend. She is really prepared, but I am still awfully nervous. As part of the 8 hour test, Diana will have to demonstrate her ability to break boards. I believe her scenario has her breaking 6 boards in succession with specified kicks and punches. Ouch!!!!

Thank you all for all your wonderful support, the cards, letters, emails, guestbook entries, everything… May God Bless you each and every one. Thank you.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Hey there sweetheart,
Missing you OH SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Visit when you can, we really need it…….. Love you to the moon and back a million billion times.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

Monday, November 13, 2006 2:56 PM CST

Again, it has been a long while since an update, but sometimes it is just too hard to write…. Of course, the last two weeks have been really hard, but then again, most days are anyway. Certain dates or events just amplify the feelings. Now we have the holidays……………..

The weather here in West Texas is still just beautiful. Nights in the high 40’s or 50’s and days in the 60’s and 70’s. Cheyenne’s garden has really become a butterfly magnet. Certain days there are literally a hundred butterflies on each butterfly bush and thousands in the garden. With the weather cooling the summer flowers have just about reached the end of their life, but until the first freeze they will hold their own with a little pruning. Before long I will be starting all over again with winter flowers. One thing about the weather, though, it really cuts the gardening and mowing to a minimum. The cool nights stops the re-growth, so now, instead of mowing twice a week, it hasn’t needed mowing in two weeks.

I so enjoy being outside, whether it is working in the garden or just working around the house. For the past two days I have been cutting firewood, stocking up for the winter. As I move around the pasture cutting wood (I have become a little of a wildlife lover, so I only cut dead wood and then only if it does not house some little creature.) I am constantly followed by the Mockingbirds.. They just seem to love to be around me, singing and cutting up. It really makes me feel good…. They have changed their ways over the past few months. It is a rarity to have one in the actual garden or immediately around the house. They crowd around the outskirts, watching me and talking to me. I assume that it is most likely due to the large numbers of cats that we have around the house. So now I am moving the cats by changing their feeding locations. It seems to be working, as it is now a seldom occurrence to have a cat near the garden or in front of the house. Hopefully the Mockingbirds notice and move back a little closer.

Well, I have been inside enough, so it is time for me to head back out of doors (I should really say “We”, as Cinnamon does not let me out of her sight lately… Cheyenne sure picked a sweet little puppy!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts and God Bless you all..

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Sweetheart,

You know how much we have been missing you. We all still love you to the moon and back, a billion times.. Visit a lot, okay…… We looooooooooooooove you.

Mommy, Daddy, Diana and Little Cinnamon Sugar

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Hey there sweet Baby Girl,

The last two years have been soooooo long, but it also seems like yesterday. We know that you are here with us all the time, but it is so hard not being able to see you, touch you, talk to you, hold you, or just be with you….. You know how much we hurt without you being with us. We miss you, miss you, miss you and love you to the moon and back!!!!!!!!

Make sure you are with us tomorrow especially, we will really need it. You’re still our Pumpkin, forever and forever!!!!!!!!

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

Sunday, October 29, 2006 10:38 PM CST

Hey there sweet Baby Girl,

The last two years have been soooooo long, but it also seems like yesterday. We know that you are here with us all the time, but it is so hard not being able to see you, touch you, talk to you, hold you, or just be with you….. You know how much we hurt without you being with us. We miss you, miss you, miss you and love you to the moon and back!!!!!!!!

Make sure you are with us tomorrow especially, we will really need it. You’re still our Pumpkin, forever and forever!!!!!!!!

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006 3:40 PM CDT

On Saturday Grandmaster Howard was laid to rest. Knowing George, he was probably a little embarrassed by all the attention. He was a very unselfish, caring person that never wanted to be in the limelight. I imagine he and Cheyenne watched the entire event, arm in arm and smiling from ear to ear.

The funeral was wall to wall karate uniforms. Most were Cheyenne’s friends, and all were George’s students and peers, several even coming from out of town. Not only did Donna and I have an opportunity to visit with many of our and Cheyenne’s friends, but we met many of Sifu George’s out of town relatives. I don’t believe I met even one, that when introduced, didn’t say, “Oh, Cheyenne’s parents!!”. George was never shy about showing his love and support for our girl. I don’t think an email or letter ever left his house without Cheyenne’s name and website address. George loved to call Cheyenne “The Champ”. . . . George and Cheyenne had a very special bond…. In a selfish way, it is comforting to know that they are now together, helping each other out. Bet they had a lot to talk about!!!

Sifu George’s final resting place at Lawnhaven Cemetery is not far from Cheyenne, so you can imagine the steady stream of visitors our girl had Saturday.

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The past few weeks of weather here in San Angelo has been really beautiful. With the recent rains and cool temperatures Cheyenne’s Garden is probably the nicest that it has ever been. Even the mums, which have been growing for over a year, finally bloomed. Not just bloomed, but each one has literally hundreds upon hundreds of blooms. I could have sworn that when we planted them several were white. I don’t know if it is possible that they change, but now each one is a different color. One white, one yellow, one orange, one purple, and one a beautiful pink.

All the beautiful flowers have resulted in the last few days being “Butterfly” days. There are hundreds and hundreds of butterflies of every size, shape, and color in the garden. It is really beautiful.

After an unexplained absence, I am very happy to say that our Mockingbirds are coming back in force. I have again started a few outside projects and it is sooo nice to have the Mockingbirds following me around and singing to me constantly again.

Thank you for checking on us and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Hey Sweetheart,

Missing you sooooo much lately. Make sure you, Sifu George and GM Cummings make it to the Blackbelt Conference this year. Mom and I will be representing you and watching your Big Sis do her thing. She is sooooo proud of her Little Sis, but you know that!!!!!!!! Thanks for all the help the last couple of days. We love you soooooo much.

Mommy and Daddy

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Tuesday, October 10, 2006 8:56 PM CDT
Yesterday afternoon Cheyenne’s Karate Class in Heaven received another wonderful instructor. Cheyenne’s much loved Grand Master George Howard joined Cheyenne and Grand Master Cummings to help teach all the kids in Heaven. George always referred to the children in his classes as “his kids”, well now he has a bunch of “new kids” and I am sure that they are getting along wonderfully.

George was a wonderful person, a true friend, a true Martial Artist, and a true Instructor. He was loved by everyone. I am sure you probably remember him as the one that “always signed Cheyenne’s guestbook”. He loved our little girl as much as she loved him. He was a special person.

George, take care of our little girl until we get there, OK..

Cheyenne, you take care of Sifu George….

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Sweetheart,

Missing you sooooooooooooooooo much, but I guess you know that.. What about that little stinker Cinnamon!!!! I guess after today it gives a whole new meaning to “Little Stinker:, huh??? Thanks for sending the Mockingbirds over the past few days. It wasn’t the same without them around, we were getting worried. We love you OH SO MUCH!!!!! To the moon and back and million billion times. Hug and kisses.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 8:56 PM CDT

Yesterday afternoon Cheyenne’s Karate Class in Heaven received another wonderful instructor. Cheyenne’s much loved Grand Master George Howard joined Cheyenne and Grand Master Cummings to help teach all the kids in Heaven. George always referred to the children in his classes as “his kids”, well now he has a bunch of “new kids” and I am sure that they are getting along wonderfully.

George was a wonderful person, a true friend, a true Martial Artist, and a true Instructor. He was loved by everyone. I am sure you probably remember him as the one that “always signed Cheyenne’s guestbook”. He loved our little girl as much as she loved him. He was a special person.

George, take care of our little girl until we get there, OK..

Cheyenne, you take care of Sifu George….

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Sweetheart,

Missing you sooooooooooooooooo much, but I guess you know that.. What about that little stinker Cinnamon!!!! I guess after today it gives a whole new meaning to “Little Stinker:, huh??? Thanks for sending the Mockingbirds over the past few days. It wasn’t the same without them around, we were getting worried. We love you OH SO MUCH!!!!! To the moon and back and million billion times. Hug and kisses.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

Friday, October 6, 2006 10:09 PM CDT

In celebration of Cheyenne’s birthday on the 23rd, we had a relatively quiet day with the family visiting most of the day. It was really good to hear all the grand kids laughing and playing. I don’t know how many times I heard them comment on how much they missed Cheyenne… We know that feeling, missing her with every fiber in our being, constant, every second of every day……

After everyone had left, Donna and I drove to Lawnhaven, and gosh, it was almost breathtaking. Cheyenne’s friends apparently had been visiting all day. They left live flowers, artificial flowers, balloons, cards, stuffed animals, statuettes, and even something for the birds to eat. Then in the mail from Cheyenne’s caringbridge friends came several beautiful gifts for the garden. I can’t even begin to explain how it makes us feel to know so many people remember our girl and still care…. Thank you everyone, so, so much…

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Hey Sweetheart,

Missing you sooooooooooooooooo much, but I guess you know that.. What about that little stinker Cinnamon!!!! I guess after today it gives a whole new meaning to “Little Stinker:, huh??? Thanks for sending the Mockingbirds over the past few days. It wasn’t the same without them around, we were getting worried. We love you OH SO MUCH!!!!! To the moon and back and million billion times. Hug and kisses.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

Saturday, September 23, 2006 0:00 AM CDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEYENNE !!!!!!

It seems like only yesterday that you were born…. The doctor handed you right to Daddy and I didn’t let you go until they had the bracelet with your name on it firmly attached to your tiny wrist…. I wasn’t about to get my sweetheart mixed up with another baby!!!!! No sir!!!!!!!!!

We love you sooooo much!!!!! We miss you sooooo much!!!!!! Oodles and oodles, to the moon and back a million billion times……..

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

Thursday, September 14, 2006 10:12 AM CDT

The weather in West Texas has been absolutely wonderful… The temperatures have cooled considerably and the rain the past two weeks has really caused the plant life to come alive. Cheyenne’s garden and the surrounding yard resembles a well manicured park. It is beautiful!!!! The birds are singing and flying, the butterflies are finally here in mass, it is really peaceful and beautiful!!!!

We have been really busy around our household. Donna at work and me doing the thousands of things that I do each day. We are also spending quality time with all the kids and grandkids. The days don’t seem to have enough hours to accomplish everything.

Soccer season is again upon us for Maddie and Mckayla (M&M). This is the first year of soccer for little Maddie and she really appears to enjoy it. You would think that a 4 year old would not be that good at soccer, but Maddie is really something, even scoring a goal in her first game. Then there is McKayla!! I believe her coach was concerned that she was only 5 whereas all her teammates were 6. She put all that to rest last Saturday scoring goal after goal in her first game. Those two girls are really a couple of “stinks”. They are so much fun to be around!!!!

At least 2 days a week we accompany Diana to Karate class. I have to tell you, Diana is the sweetest young lady in the world. How many 22 year olds enjoy spending time with their parents????? She is really special!!!!! This next Saturday she is participating in a large Karate tournament in Abilene, Tx, so we will be on the road with her. All this preparing for her Blackbelt test in December. I know that she is nervous about it, but she will do fantastic!!!!!

We still have not made firm arrangements for Cheyenne’s birthday. Most likely this year will be a low key family affair. I already have a few ideas for next year, if I can pull it off. I will probably need a year to make all the arrangements.

Speaking of arrangements, Coach Slate has come up with a fantastic way to honor Cheyenne early next year. Of course you know that Cheyenne was quite the athlete and loved track and field. Coach Slate’s daughters, Christene and Hanna are both runners, belonging to a local club that regularly holds meets. Well, Coach Slate and Christene are trying to put together a “Cheyenne Fiveash Memorial Run” for early next year with the money raised going to the Children’s Miracle Network. I believe that there are shooting for March of 2007 and to possibly be held in Christoval, where Cheyenne went to school. THANK YOU COACH!!!!!!!

I have given a lot of thought to this, but what would we do without the caringbridge community?? You all have no idea how wonderful you are. The support you provide is enormous. And I am speaking of all of you.. . Those that are traveling the same road as we, those who have sick children, and those that simply care. You have touched our lives more than you will ever know. God Bless all of you!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Sweetheart,

We have been feeling you around a lot lately. Bet you have been busy with all the children going to Heaven lately…. You know how much we love you and miss you!!!!! Stay close sweetheart. We love you to the moon and back, a million billion times.

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

Monday, August 28, 2006 11:03 AM CDT

UPDATE 09/10/06

I just learned that Cheyenne's little friend, Christal, also joined all the other wonderful children in Heaven this morning. Cheyenne considered both Bailee and Christal to be her "little caringbridge sisters". She loved them both so much.

I know that Christal's, Bailee's, and Cameron's parents really need our thoughts and prayers. Life is soooo hard without your children!!!!

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UPDATE 09/07/06

I originally planned an update today, but after checking on a few of Cheyenne's friends, I discovered that little Bailee Dunnigan joined all our babies in Heaven yesterday. Please remember her family as they try to make sense out of a senseless world, without their baby.

Thank you and God Bless,

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy

UPDATED 09/03/06

A wonderful young man by the name of Cameron joined all the beautiful children in Heaven last night. Cameron was quite a young man here on this earth, touching thousands. Please join me in prayer for his family as they go through the nightmare of living without one of their children. Thank you

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy Forever

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Today is shaping up to be one of those days. Confined to the house due to weather and missing my girl Cheyenne horribly. Life is sooo unfair. No parent should ever have to live without their children. A grieving mom recently wrote, “Maybe our children did not die, maybe it is us that died and are in Hell” !!! A good comparison to our daily feelings. Each and every day for the rest of our lives we are destined to live with our hearts ripped in half.

Cheyenne’s birthday, September 23rd, is fast approaching. I had planned all the things that we were going to do to honor Cheyenne on her birthday. We had thoughts of a toy drive birthday party. Giving the toys to various organizations, the local Children’s Chemo Clinic, individual children, and so on. Advertising on the radio, the whole 9 yards… But, as I have discovered, grief has a way of changing things, making it difficult to accomplish things, etc.. I never made all the proper contacts, the arrangements, so at this point, I am not sure what we will be doing.

Also ASU Rambelle Basketball will start soon. If Cheyenne were here I know that she would be at every game, so our schedule will be getting a little busier attending the games. Donna and I really enjoy the games, and of course you know how wonderful the entire team is.

I mentioned being a shut in today. As I have mentioned several times, we have been experiencing many, many days of over 100 degree heat and no substantial rain in a very, very long time. We are experiencing a severe drought. Earlier this month several of the local churches, our church included, declared yesterday, August 27th , “pray for rain day”. We arrived home from church yesterday afternoon at around 2pm and it started raining shortly thereafter. As of a few minutes ago, Cheyenne’s rain gauge indicated 7 inches of rain, and it is still raining!!!!! Also a quick check of the local weather’s website indicates that the next 10 day forecast has reasonable temperatures for a change….. I am hoping that the horribly hot weather is over for the year and Cheyenne’s Garden starts a rebound.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Pumpkin Little,

I guess you know that mommy, daddy, and Diana have been missing you bunches and bunches lately….. Be sure and visit us when you can. We love you soooooo much!!!!!

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

Friday, August 11, 2006 2:40 PM CDT

The past several days have really been a blessing. We have had the pleasure of watching McKayla for the past week and both Maddie and McKayla (M&M) yesterday. The house has been filled with the sound of little girl’s laughter, playing, splashing water in the pool and of course the sound of cartoons on TV. These are sure two sweet little girls. They really love their grandma, grandpa, Aunt Diana, and yes, their Aunt Cheyenne….

Today McKayla asked to go to Lawnhaven to visit Cheyenne. There were a thousand questions, most of which I couldn’t answer, and before we left, McKayla pulled out a penny and left it for Cheyenne. She misses her sooooo much and made a point of telling me several times how much she loves and misses Cheyenne…..

I try not to cry around the girls, but some of the sweet things that McKayla said brought the tears….

When the girls aren’t around I still find time to work in the garden, battling the 100 plus degree heat trying to keep it beautiful. My favorite times in the garden are early in the morning and after 7pm in the evening. The butterflies and birds are flying around, it is soooo peaceful.. When I am in the garden I feel close to Cheyenne, she is right there with me……

Of course each time I am in the garden I hope for one of those “up close and personal” visits from one of the Mockingbirds. But, they really don’t happen that often. Everytime I am outside the Mockingbirds are there, flying around, sitting around, even singing to me. But those special visits, they only seem to happen when I need them the most. Not that I don’t try to make them happen!!!!!! Everytime I see a Mockingbird I talk to it and try to approach it, but you guessed it, off they go!!!!!!! But just their presence around the house and garden make me feel better…..

Thank you all for your continued visits and all the thoughts and prayers for our family. Life is really rough..

Also, I failed to mention earlier this week, Cheyenne’s friend, little Michael Dornauer ( http://www.caringbridge.org/de/michaeldornauer ) joined all the wonderful children in Heaven last Friday. So please join me in prayers for his family.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Pumpkin Little,

I guess you know that mommy, daddy, and Diana have been missing you bunches and bunches lately….. Be sure and visit us when you can. We love you soooooo much!!!!!

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
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http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

Thursday, July 27, 2006 12:21 AM CDT

It is almost time for school to start again. The stores are filled with excited boys and girls shopping with their parents. Gosh how I miss that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheyenne so loooooved school and looooooved shopping for new school clothes and school supplies!!!!!

I miss Cheyenne so, so, so much!!!!

Every year Donna always took a first day of school photo of all our children. Even in High School. I miss that.. We can never take another photo of Cheyenne………………

Inside the closet door there are pencil marks to indicate the height of our children, with dates, as they grew. Cheyenne’s stopped on 02/01/04……

Lately we have noticed that many of her friends have been visiting Cheyenne at Lawnhaven, leaving little things for her. That does bring a smile, knowing that there are so many that remember our little girl, miss her…

The days lately have not really been easier.. Donna and I talk about it, it is just a hard cruel fact, that no matter what, no matter what we are without our sweet girl until we meet again in Heaven. The remainder of our days here will be missing the physical presence of Cheyenne. Seeing her, touching her, talking with her, just being in the same room as she is. It is sooooo hard….

But we do know, for fact, that we will get to see our beautiful Cheyenne again. And that she is here watching over us. The little and sometimes miraculous signs that we get. Gosh that girl must love us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As I have said soooo many times, I can’t explain it, but so many things happen to let us know that Cheyenne is here with us. It is comforting, even though the horrible feeling of missing our girl doesn’t go away…

Last Tuesday Cinnamon and I were transplanting new flowers in Cheyenne’s Garden. (I know that it sounds crazy to always mention Cinnamon helping me, but that little puppy is with me every second of every day, not just keeping me company, but actually watching me and trying to help do whatever it is that I am doing. She has tried to pull weeds with her teeth, she has helped me dig holes to plant flowers and trees, and she even picks up rocks in her mouth when I am picking up rocks. It is like having a four year old around the house!!!!!!!) Anyway, there I was, sitting in the garden with one leg in the garden and the other over the edge of the garden digging a hole for a new flower. Cinnamon was lying next to me with her head resting on my leg watching intently. Then out of the blue a Mockingbird swooped down and landed in my lap. Right in my lap. Not 6 inches from Cinnamon’s nose. It looked up at me, looked over at Cinnamon, and then after cocking its head back and forth a couple of times, began talking to us. Cinnamon didn’t even bat an eye. She just laid there looking at it with no concern what so ever. After a few seconds the little Mockingbird turned around, jumped off my lap into the garden between my legs and grabbed an insect in its beak. Then it jumped back into my lap, seemed to offer the insect to Cinnamon, then fluttered up into the tree in Cheyenne’s garden.

Again, I can’t and won’t make any attempt to explain it, but it happens and it makes me smile…………………………

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Sweetheart,

We love you sooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Missing you sooooo much. I noticed that lots of your friends have been visiting. You sure have a great bunch of friends………………………. We love you to the moon and back, oodles and oodles……..

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 12:51 AM CDT

Over the last few days Donna and I have had the honor of attending the beautiful services for little Kathryn Kuhlmann. We learned a lot about this sweet, caring young lady. Mature for her age, and sooooo caring for other people, not concerned about her own struggles….

Sounds familiar doesn’t it???? I learned that Kathryn loved basketball, loved to make bracelets for her friends, loved arts and crafts, was generous to a fault, loved her little baby puppy (Snickers) , and was a rock collector…….

I don’t believe I have ever mentioned that Cheyenne was a “rock person”. No matter where we were, her eyes always turned to the ground. She had a knack for finding beautiful rocks. She started this when she was a little girl and our house is full of rocks and pebbles that she picked up. I will admit, when she was younger, some of the rocks that she collected and we now have in and around the house just looked like rocks to me. Now they are worth their weight in gold.….

Yesterday morning when I got up and went into Cheyenne’s garden, there were thousands of dragon flies. I have never seen so many. They were just all over Cheyenne’s garden and the entire yard. The thought went through my head, wondering if it was a sign of some sort, maybe an indication of something. A few hours later as I was leaving to go to Kathryn’s funeral they were gone. After the funeral I drove out to Lawnhaven for the burial. I arrived early and parked at Cheyenne’s site, to visit Cheyenne, ask her to visit us, and await the procession of Kathryn’s family and friends. As I saw them arriving I started the long walk from Cheyenne’s site to where Kathryn was to be laid to rest. As I neared the spot there were thousands of dragon flies… They weren’t all over Lawnhaven, just in that area where Kathryn was to be buried. Thousands and thousands of them, flying around, landing on people…….

After the services at Lawnhaven, I made a point of hugging Kathryn’s mom and dad. As I hugged Steven, he looked up and said, “All these dragon flies, it is really something, isn’t it?” Then he even told me a little thing that happened to them the moment that Kathryn when to Heaven…… Signs, I can’t explain them, but they are real……

Cheyenne has a new friend in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hey Sweetheart,

We love you sooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Missing you sooooo much. How about that little stinker McKayla????? She gave your sis a run for the money yesterday, huh?? Love you to the moon and back a million, billion times. Come visit when you can…

Mommy and Daddy

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of June the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella June Featured Friends:

Valerie, 2, likes red, turtles, chickens, farm animals & stick pretzels

Grace, 2, likes lions, ponies, toddler girl toys & Elmo

Quinn, 14, she likes piano, softball, singing, & collects beach rocks and
shark teeth

Walter 66, likes blue, dogs, fishing, hunting, & Oreos

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

Friday, June 30, 2006 1:46 PM CDT

UPDATE 07/05/06

I just learned that a sweet little girl from our church, Kathryn Kuhlmann, joined all the other wonderful children in Heaven this morning. Kathryn has been battling leukemia for the past few months. Please help me lift up their family in prayers as they go through these horrible times. Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever

I want to begin by thanking all the wonderful people that continue to lift our family up with their kind words, thoughts, prayers, emails, cards and guestbook entries. Yes, we have been having some really horrible days, and your words, thoughts and prayers help immensely. And a very special public thank you to Colette, you have no idea how your frequent entries help. You are a truly wonderful person…. Thank you…..

Donna was away for a couple of weeks, but is now back, and Gosh I am glad to have her back!!!!! Donna’s mom’s birthday was the day after Father’s Day and Donna was able to take some time off work and spend some special time with her in Milwaukee.

Diana was so, so sweet while her mom was away. I noticed that she made a point of hanging around the house when she could just to be with me. She is one sweet young lady. And speaking of Diana, she again made the Dean’s list last Semester at school……………….. She is attending this summer session, but there is only one week left. It appears as if she may get to skip next week, as she has all A’s in her classes and most likely will not have to take the finals next week.

To say that Father’s Day was a rough day for me is an understatement…. Missing Cheyenne, all the things that we used to do together…. Well you know.

All the kids were super to me this year, all making a point of seeing me and doing special things for me. I dropped by Christopher’s house that day and was greeted by a couple of beaming, giggly, screaming girls, Maddie and McKayla (M&M). They were just finishing making special Father’s Day cards for their old Grampa and were sooooo excited to give them to me. You should have seen little Maddie. The card that she was making was not quite finished and there she was, sitting at the table with her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth, the look of complete determination in her face, and just coloring and coloring. She looked up and said, “Grampa, you can’t have this one yet, I am not finished” But she made a point of showing me what she had already done, complete with a picture of me, Grandma, my ears, and little Cinnamon. It was so sweet.

Also on Father’s Day I was able to drive out to Paint Rock and visit my parents and tell my Dad how special he is to me. I know that I don’t visit them enough… I should go out there every couple of days… Things are just harder to do now than before. It is easer to be alone. Maybe I will overcome that some day….

And of course, I spent some time at Lawnhaven on Father’s Day. I noticed that there were quite a lot of people there, most likely visiting their Dad’s, and here I was visiting my little girl…….

While Donna was away I went into work on Cheyenne’s garden overtime, working from early in the morning until sunset each day. The expansion is coming along nicely, but I think I am going to slow down a little. While she was away I was able to plant another 7 trees as well as a couple of bushes and floral plants. I think it is time for a little less manual labor and back to designing for awhile. Rather than just throw something in, I like to come up with a design that will work and flow with what is already existing. And it gives my back a rest. Digging on top of the hill where our house sits is not an easy task.

Again, thank you all.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Pumpkin,

We miss you sooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Be sure to visit when you can. OK.. Love you to the moon and back a million, billion times.

Mommy and Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of June the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella June Featured Friends:

Valerie, 2, likes red, turtles, chickens, farm animals & stick pretzels

Grace, 2, likes lions, ponies, toddler girl toys & Elmo

Quinn, 14, she likes piano, softball, singing, & collects beach rocks and
shark teeth

Walter 66, likes blue, dogs, fishing, hunting, & Oreos

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:23 PM CDT

It has been a long while since I have updated. I have started updates on several occasions, but just couldn’t finish them…. To say that Donna and I have been having hard times emotionally lately is an understatement. Again, really can’t explain it other that missing our baby so intensely.

Since the last update we have attended several functions honoring Cheyenne. The Relay for Life in San Angelo was a success. We had planned to have a “Team Cheyenne” this year, but emotionally we could not handle the planning of putting the team together. Maybe next year.

The Shannon Medical Center Children’s Miracle Network honored us again this year by inviting us to the annual Telethon for a couple of appearances. We were able to talk about Cheyenne and tell the wonderful people of the Concho Valley how important the CMN is for the children of our area. After one particular live appearance the telephones really lit up, people calling in their pledges. That made us feel good. To know that Cheyenne has that kind of effect on people……. At this year’s Telethon, almost $400,000 was raised in our little community……. There are some kind and generous people in the world.

Also, Sharla of the CMN, let us know that she had not forgotten about getting Cheyenne’s photo on the 2004 CMN poster. Cheyenne was an Ambassador for the CMN that year, but failed to have her photo taken for the poster. As soon as we receive a copy we will make sure we post a photo of it.

The weather in West Texas has been absolutely horrible. Temperatures are above 100 every day with no break in sight. This is the hottest May and June that I can remember. At our house we have seen temperatures of 108, 109 and the hottest 111. Of course the official temperature for the area seems to be only 102 to 105. And of course, no rain at all.

Cheyenne’s garden is really taking a beating in the heat. Even watering every day can’t keep the blooms and plants from withering and trying to die. And it is really hard working outside in the over 100 degree heat. I finally started expanding Cheyenne’s garden around the corner of the house. I originally planned a waterfall to be the main attraction, but on our recent trip to San Antonio I fell in love with a huge cast stone water fountain/bird bath. Just yesterday I finished a stair step pedestal for the base and got the fountain up and working. The pieces are so heavy it took 4 of us to lift it up and set it. The garden expansion was originally going to be very similar to Cheyenne’s existing garden. But after a little thought we came up with a different plan.

Cheyenne always spoke of building a cactus garden. Her plans were for her dear old dad and her to “harvest” cacti in our pasture and then Cheyenne and Mom to plant them and take care of them. We have several really unusual cacti in our pasture, probably 6 or 7 different kinds that Cheyenne thought were really neat and worthy of being in a garden. So, I am doing the harvesting and the garden will be “Cheyenne and Mom’s Cactus Garden”. I hope to be able to blend it in with the rest of the yard and garden by using various ornamental trees, shrubs, bushes, steps and maybe even an entranceway. With the heat that we are having, a cactus garden will be a little easier to upkeep.

I really enjoy working on the garden, and now expanding it. There is not much we can do for our girl Cheyenne, but this is one thing I can do. Also I feel her presence when I am working in her garden, so it helps me get through the days.

We still are blessed with bunches and bunches of Mockingbirds around the house. Christopher, Cheyenne’s big brother who lives about ¼ mile from our house, is really giving me a hard time over the Mockingbirds. Every since he experienced all the friendly Mockingbirds at our house he has been jealous, wanting them to visit him at his house. Well, he is happy to report to me, ALMOST EVERY DAY, that he now has at least 20 Mockingbirds at his house. So, I guess between our house and his, we have half the county’s population of Mockingbirds.

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CHEYENNE,

WE LOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mommy and Daddy

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Hey Pumpkin,

Miss you, Miss you, Miss you…. Come visit when you can. Love you oodles and oodles….

Mommy and Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May of 2006, Donna, Little Cinnamon Sugar, and I traveled to San Antonio on a business trip for Donna. Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her there with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us. On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we were, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already had new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Of course, the first thing the next morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. Between Donna and I, we were able to take several photos of the little birds flying and sitting close around us as well as landing on little Cinnamon Sugar’s back.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of June the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella June Featured Friends:

Valerie, 2, likes red, turtles, chickens, farm animals & stick pretzels

Grace, 2, likes lions, ponies, toddler girl toys & Elmo

Quinn, 14, she likes piano, softball, singing, & collects beach rocks and
shark teeth

Walter 66, likes blue, dogs, fishing, hunting, & Oreos

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Tuesday, May 16, 2006 2:12 PM CDT

UPDATE May 21, 2006

There is a cute little girl named Lexie that really needs our prayers and thoughts. Her website is http://www.caringbridge.org/me/lexie/index.htm .

Thank you

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever

The Photo Album section was updated today to include a few photos of the San Antonio Mockingbirds as well as Cheyenne's beautiful bench, silk plant, and both plaques at Angelo State University.

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Today I am sitting in a hotel room in San Antonio, TX without a terribly lot to do, so I thought I would update with a couple of experiences that we have had yesterday and today.

Donna has been doing quite a bit of traveling for her job lately, with most of the travel being out of state. When she told me that she was going to San Antonio for a few days (only a 3 hour car trip from home) and asked if I wanted to go, I jumped at the chance. It is just like a mini paid vacation. One stipulation though, I didn’t want to leave little Cinnamon Sugar at home. She realllllly gets her feelings hurt when I leave her at home for a few hours, I can imagine how she would feel if it were for a few days. As I have mentioned before, Cinnamon has to be within inches of me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is sooooo sad watching her little ears droop when I tell her that she has to stay at home.. I am really a softy when it comes to Cheyenne’s little puppy dog……..

Prior to leaving, as I often do, I was talking to Cheyenne, and told her that we wanted her to come with us to San Antonio. As a matter of fact, I mentioned it several times and each time, told her that not only did we want her here with us, but that she was really going to have to be dramatic and let us know that she was with us.

On the way out of San Angelo enroute to San Antonio we drove by Lawnhaven Cemetery for a short visit, and to again tell Cheyenne to come with us and to LET US KNOW THAT SHE WAS WITH US……I even told Donna that I had asked Cheyenne to be really dramatic when it came to letting us know that she was with us.…. Donna then told me that she also had told Cheyenne the same thing…

A short 3 hours later Donna, Cinnamon, and I were in San Antonio, arriving at the hotel. As we were preparing to carry the bags into the hotel I handed Donna Cinnamon’s leash and told her that I could carry everything if she would take Cinnamon. A few seconds later I looked over at Donna, who with wide eyes and a happy look on her face was attempting to get my attention.

Here we are, 200 miles from home, and little Cinnamon Sugar already has new found friends!!!!! There were 2 Mockingbirds hovering around Cinnamon, landing on her back and then landing in front of her. Over and over again. Chattering away….. When they weren’t visiting with Cinnamon they would flutter up to a parking sign just inches away from Donna’s head and land. Chattering and Chattering. It was so obvious that these two little birds were special, a passerby stopped to talk to us about them. Normally we don’t tell people our Mockingbird stories, but we let her in on the secret. As she stood there watching these birds hover all around us, almost landing on us and actually touching us with their wings as they fluttered about, she told us how special it was that we receive these signs…….

Thanks Cheyenne, we needed that!!!!!!!!!

Of course, the first thing this morning I took Cinnamon out in front of the hotel to find her little friends. Just like clockwork, here came the two little Mockingbirds. There were literally all over us. I probably took 20 photos trying to get a good one of the Mockingbirds either on Cinnamon’s back or sitting inches in front of her. I don’t think I actually got one, but I won’t know for positive until we get home and download the photos. Digital cameras aren’t known for taking the photos at the exact second you want. I did get several photos of the 2 little birds just inches from me, and hopefully when Donna returns this evening, between the two of us we will be able to get a photo of Cinnamon and the birds.

Later in the day I decided to take Cinnamon to a park. San Antonio is known for its historic beautiful plazas and parks. We drove around and finally found one about a mile from the hotel. And, you guessed it, as we were sitting under a tree, up flew a Mockingbird, landed on the ground and hopped right over to us. It stayed with us the whole time we were at the park…...

So, if you need me for the next day or so, I can probably be found in front of the hotel on the corner of Durango and Flores in San Antonio. I will be the one with the cute little puppy and covered in Mockingbirds………

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CHEYENNE,

WE LOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Mommy and Daddy

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Hey Sweetheart,

Been missing you a lot, but I guess you know that. Thanks for being with me so much the last couple of days. You know that I need it. Love you to the moon and back, a million jillion times. You are our baby!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry, was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of June the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella June Featured Friends:

Valerie, 2, likes red, turtles, chickens, farm animals & stick pretzels

Grace, 2, likes lions, ponies, toddler girl toys & Elmo

Quinn, 14, she likes piano, softball, singing, & collects beach rocks and
shark teeth

Walter 66, likes blue, dogs, fishing, hunting, & Oreos

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Friday, May 12, 2006 9:41 PM CDT

Yesterday evening our little friend, 11 year old Kevin Suberg, formerly of San Angelo and living in San Antonio for the past few years, joined our baby and all the other wonderful children in Heaven. Last week little Alex Kline joined his big brother, his dad, our baby, and all the other children in Heaven. Brain Tumors……. Someday there HAS to be a cure, or at least treatment that is not out of the middle ages… So, so, so many children leave this life way too early because of brain tumors. Then there are all the other childhood cancers…. We lose so many of our children, the most precious gift, the most precious possession we parents have ever had………………….
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Tomorrow Leslie, our daughter in law, is graduating from ASU. We are so proud of her!! Most of her college studies have been done after having Maddie and McKayla (our two sweet M&M grand daughters), so it has not been easy being a full time wife, mom and student.… The graduation ceremonies are held in the Junell Center, also where the ASU Rambelles play basketball. So, prior to the graduation I will get to show off Cheyenne’s bench and the plaque that the Administration chose to display next to it. Several of my relatives have yet to see the plaque, so tomorrow will be the first time, hanging right next to the bench, with Cheyenne’s face smiling back at them!!!!

Every now and then when I am in the neighborhood (dropping off money for Cheyenne’s Scholarship etc…) I drop by the Junell Center just to visit Cheyenne’s bench, sit on it, and look at her plaque. I sometimes feel a little like a thief on my visits…… The Administration keeps the Junell Center spotless, including waxing the floors frequently. On some trips I find that the cleaners have moved the bench or the beautiful silk plant to clean, and on occasion the bench is not near its dedicating plaque or the silk plant is covering the new plaque… Sooooo, I just move them back into place…… Donna laughs about it, picturing me moving this bench or plant around, looking around and hoping that no one will see me. Both the bench and plant are extremely heavy (probably the reason the cleaners don’t move them back to their location), so here I am, trying to scoot it along the floor, hoping that it won’t start making a screeching noise as I move it…….. I guess you get the picture…

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers for our family. We miss Cheyenne sooo much, each day is really hard. Your prayers and thoughts help get us through the days.

Also, Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there. There is no greater job, no greater pleasure, and no greater calling in life. Hug your children!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Sweetheart,

Been missing you a lot, but I guess you know that. Thanks for being with me so much the last couple of days. You know that I need it. Love you to the moon and back, a million jillion times. You are our baby!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry, was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of March the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella March Featured Friends:

Noah (6) likes red, pirates, army men, & Star Wars

Erma (65) likes lavender, dogs, easy listening music, & chocolate

Kyle (9) likes blue, pug dogs, cub scouts & Power Rangers

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Sunday, April 30, 2006 8:29 PM CDT

Last night we attended the San Angelo Martial Arts Academies annual awards banquet. We were so happy to see many of our and Cheyenne’s friends and instructors. Five Black Belts from San Antonio, including Grand Masters Thompson and Balmos were also in attendance. As I have said so many times, this organization is really something, so close, family, so generous and caring…. The TKA and the MAA, wonderful organizations!!!!!!!

Cheyenne’s Big Sis, Diana, received quite an honor, the MAA Female Student of the Year Award, for her dedication and hard work!!!!! Way to go Diana!!!! We are sooooooo proud of you!!!!!!

Also at the banquet, Donna and I presented the 2nd Annual Cheyenne Spirit Award to one student from each of the San Angelo Martial Arts Academies Schools. The students each year are chosen by the respective instructors at the schools, and each year they are well chosen and deserving!!!!

I wish I had recorded the introduction to the award presentation by our very good friend, Chodan Joe Holguin. His words regarding our girl, Cheyenne, the meaning behind the award, and some of his memories made me smile….. The words were soooo moving for Donna and I, Thank you, Joe!!!!!!

Also at the banquet, Donna and I were honored by Sifu Master Troncoso, Cheyenne’s and Diana’s instructor. The honored us for our participation and involvement throughout the years in the MAA activities. The truth be known, we love doing it. We love seeing all those children learning, building confidence, building character, discipline, and we greatly enjoy being around the MAA and TKA family… The instructors as well as the students and their families... We hope to be there for a long time, watching Diana instruct after receiving her Black Belt. The MAA gave us the absolute perfect gift…. A gift certificate from a local nursery to get something for Cheyenne’s garden…. Perfect, and very well appreciated. I am like a little excited child running all the possibilities through my head on what I can get, where to put it, etc….

Gosh we miss our girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The garden is looking more “springy” now that we are finally in the not real cold, not real hot, few weeks of West Texas. Of course, a few days after having the last freeze it was in the 100’s, but now we are finally back to normal. The flowers haven’t taken over the garden yet, as they did last year, but there are still quite a few that make it beautiful.

A few days ago, while working in the garden, I heard Cheyenne’s little puppy, Cinnamon Sugar, doing her “bark, bark, ruff” that she does when she is playing. She used to reserve this special playful bark, with her front feet bouncing up and down for her mommy, Cheyenne. Wondering what she was doing, I looked up and there was Cinnamon playing with a Mockingbird… That’s right, playing with a Mockingbird. Cinnamon would do her “bark, bark, ruff, bounce up and down on her front feet, and take off after the Mockingbird. The Mockingbird would flutter into the air, go about 5 or 6 feet, land, then turn and chase Cinnamon. Cinnamon would then immediately turn around and run away for 5 or 6 feet, turn around with her “bark, bark, ruff” and it would start all over again. They played for a good 4 or 5 minutes.

A few minutes ago Cinnamon and I were outside again, and poor Cinnamon tried it with a Robin… You should have seen that poor terrified Robin. It may never come back to the yard!!!!! Cinnamon just sat there cocking her head back and forth, trying to figure out why the bird wouldn’t play!!!

Thank you all for continuing to visitiCheyenne’s site, remembering our little girl and us, her family. Knowing that Cheyenne is so well remembered helps sooooo much. Gosh I miss my little girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Pumpkin,

Bet you are proud of your Big Sis!!!! She loves karate as much as you!!!! Miss you to the moon and back a million billion times. Come visit. We love you soooooooooooo much.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry, was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of March the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella March Featured Friends:

Noah (6) likes red, pirates, army men, & Star Wars

Erma (65) likes lavender, dogs, easy listening music, & chocolate

Kyle (9) likes blue, pug dogs, cub scouts & Power Rangers

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Thursday, April 20, 2006 4:54 PM CDT

Today has been one of those days……. It is a very gloomy day, raining or threatening to rain all day, along with the threat of severe weather (hail, high winds, and/or tornados --- Welcome to West Texas!!) so it has been a day spent locked behind closed doors.. Too much time for the mind to work, too many emotions, too much missing my baby horribly!!!!!

Months ago I promised Cheyenne’s very, very good friend, Shasta, that I would print and send her several photos of the two along with a Valentines Day card that Cheyenne never had an opportunity to give her…. So, today was spent going through the many photos we have of the happier times, looking for just the right photos. As much as I love to look at all my baby’s photos, it still makes me cry.

So, there you know the kind of day that I am experiencing………..

The Easter holiday was a good one for the family. Again, lots of emotions, but the meaning of Easter really hits home now. I will get to see my baby again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Recently we received some really cool gifts in the mail and left at the cemetery for Cheyenne’s Garden. Mrs Pam and her wonderful Pre-school class sent a beautiful “frog” rain gauge which is doing its job today in the garden. Also, I have mentioned before how people leave little things out at the cemetery for Cheyenne. Everything from little statutes, flowers, potted plants, etc…. We try to leave them there for as long as we can, then eventually bring them home to the garden. The garden now has several statutes including a really cute puppy dog flashlight statute that comes on at night, and several other little nick knacks. Over the Easter weekend someone left a beautiful potted floral plant, I believe lavender in color (leaves and flowers), which we now have sitting on the porch near the garden. Cheyenne’s Garden is really my life saver. I can feel Cheyenne’s presence while working in it, so of course, I spend a lot of time there.

The birds around the house are increasing in number. Almost every day there are different types of birds arriving. Almost every color of bird!!!!!!!!!!! Our house is like a bird atrium. I put the book that Donna gave me to good use, trying to identify all the birds. The latest ones to arrive were yellow headed blackbirds. Then there are the hummingbirds. There were a few visiting the garden, but I felt sorry for them so I picked up a hummingbird feeder. I saw 5 feeding at it yesterday.

The Mockingbirds are still here, keeping me company, but I guess due to breeding or nesting season being here, they are more scattered around our property rather than living in the garden and yard as they were. Since they really don’t eat out of the feeders as all the other birds do, they have to make a point of flying to us or following us around. It is really nice…. Also several Mockingbirds have returned to Lawnhaven and visit us when we are there….

Lately I have had the pleasure of talking via phone or email to several wonderful parents that are living the same life as we. I don’t know what we would do without Julie (Maddie’s mom) and Julie (Maxie’s Grandmother) and all the other parents that know how we feel. To get to express ourselves and to know that they actually know what our days are like…. Hopefully tonight or tomorrow I will talk to Jeff Ott, Stephanie’s dad. Gosh they have done wonderful things with Stephanie’s Foundation…. Also I understand that Jeff also has built a beautiful memorial garden for Stephanie. Hope to see it someday!!!!

Thank you all for visiting Cheyenne’s site, remembering our little girl and us, her family. Knowing that Cheyenne is so well remembered helps sooooo much. Gosh I miss my little girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Sweetheart,

Sure missed you on Easter…. I could just see you helping out the little ones….. Miss you to the moon and back a million billion times. Come visit. We love you soooooooooooo much.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry, was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of March the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella March Featured Friends:

Noah (6) likes red, pirates, army men, & Star Wars

Erma (65) likes lavender, dogs, easy listening music, & chocolate

Kyle (9) likes blue, pug dogs, cub scouts & Power Rangers

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Sunday, April 2, 2006 10:25 PM CDT

I just learned that Andrea Brown (Angel Ryan's mom) is need of prayers today, so please join me in in praying for this young lady. ( http://www.caringbridge.org/ky/ryanbrown/ )

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Until today, I would have said that we were having a really horrible week!!!! It seemed like nothing could go right over the past few days. Missing Cheyenne horribly, everything breaking, a bad auto accident, on and on!!!!!!

Then we went to church today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We knew that the Youth Group at church was doing something, but we had no idea!!!!!

Words don’t do justice to describe the feelings for what this wonderful group of young people and the church did to honor and remember our girl Cheyenne as well as making her entire family feel like a million dollars. Normally, when I become emotional, I have a hard time expressing myself verbally, but somehow manage to put it into print, even if it is through tears as I type. Tonight, I am struggling for those words to type as well.

The Youth Group at church dedicated their new Youth Building today. I know that they and several parents have really been working hard, painting, furnishing, and decorating it. Making it a nice place for the Youth, but we sure weren’t prepared for this wonderful honor!!!!!

Of course, Cheyenne totally loved being part of the church and the Youth Group. Both were MAJOR parts of her life. Those great kids were her friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still remember the last Youth Group event she attended. Gosh, did she have fun!!!! She painted her face with camo as a “Commando for Christ”, and talk about being hyper!!!!!! She was almost running everywhere she went that night, smiling as big as she could. It was an all night event, and it took an awfully lot for me to finally convince her to go home to get a couple of hours sleep prior to being back for early service at church when the event would conclude. It was just a few days later that we were rushing her to the ER with hydrocephalus.

This morning when we walked into the Youth Building, there hanging on the wall, was a life size sketch of our baby, Cheyenne, hugging Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Youth requested and the Youth Board approved honoring their friend and classmate, Cheyenne, on a wall in the building. Her name appears in carved wooden 6 inch letters next to the HUGE drawing, along with a framed document describing our girl………. There is even a statute of St Francis with a bird on his shoulder (I was told this was a mockingbird!!!!!)

It literally took our breath away!!!!!!

It is such a honor to know that our girl touched so many lives and she is remembered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is no doubt that Cheyenne will be there hanging out with her friends.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!!!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Pumpkin,

Gosh, those sure are a nice group of friends you have at church!!!!!! I know that you are smiling as much as mom and I are!!!!

Missing you oh so much, all the time. Love you baby, to the moon and back a million billion times, forever and ever..

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry, was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of March the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella March Featured Friends:

Noah (6) likes red, pirates, army men, & Star Wars

Erma (65) likes lavender, dogs, easy listening music, & chocolate

Kyle (9) likes blue, pug dogs, cub scouts & Power Rangers

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Wednesday, March 22, 2006 9:16 AM CST

I know that it has been a long while since an update, but as I have said earlier, there is just not much going on in our lives. As strange as it sounds, in order for me to find the words to write, I need some form of inspiration. Of course, Cheyenne was and continues to be my inspiration.

I was just outside admiring Cheyenne’s garden and within a few minutes I was covered with Mockingbirds, all around me. There were 10 on the water fountain, and many, many sitting in the trees, on the porch railing, on the ground, and in the garden. Most chattering away at me. I was so moved by it that I thought I had better write a little something about a few of our Mockingbird experiences as I have promised. I will include it just below the journal when it is finished and will leave it up for awhile. It is really quite amazing, all that God is doing for us, to help get us through the days, and to let us know that our girl Cheyenne is right here with us, every second of the day!!!! God sends us comfort, when we seem to need it most!!

We continue to miss our pumpkin Cheyenne completely, totally, with all of our hearts, with every fiber of our beings, but we know that we can’t be with her again until God calls us home. Although the days may be a little easier now than a few months ago (we keep trying to convince ourselves of that), the feelings really haven’t changed. I guess the main difference is that the uncontrollable emotions only emerge once a day or so versus all day long every day.

For me anyway, I have discovered that I need to feel Cheyenne’s presence to keep my sanity. I have had a lot of work to do lately, around the house, for church, etc.., One of my more recent projects included building a carport and a barn. The carport construction took over a week of constant work daylight to sunset. During this week I was really miserable and emotional. At the time I didn’t realize why I was having such a hard time, all day, every minute of the day, as I had told myself earlier that if I stay busy, my days will pass a little easier. Finally, as the carport was almost finished, I took the day off and spent the entire day working in Cheyenne’s garden.

It was wonderful. The mockingbirds kept me company the entire day. The garden is now getting over its “winter” look, the winter flowers are in full bloom and the spring flowers are just beginning, it is looking really beautiful. Cheyenne’s wind chimes making beautiful music. Cheyenne’s little Cinnie Minnie never more than 6 inches from me, helping in the garden. And most of all, I felt Cheyenne with me all day. It was wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I have learned that it is not just working in the garden that gives me this feeling of closeness to Cheyenne. Of course it is the Rambelles Basketball games (now over with the team going to the Nationals, AGAIN), it is putting a smile on a child’s face, it is supporting the Children’s Miracle Network, it is sending out prayer blankets in Cheyenne’s memory and honor to those in need, it is visiting and talking to people who are struggling, it is trying to support others who are traveling this journey as we, it is visiting caringbridge sites, and it is reading all the wonderful entries in Cheyenne’s guestbook. (You have no idea how Cheyenne’s site keeps me going. I probably visit it 10 times a day, everyday, just to look at the photos, read the entries, and remember, remember how sweet my little girl was here on this earth and touched so many people.) It is those wonderful phone calls we get from Julie (Maddie’s mom) and Julie (Maxie’s Grandmother), and all those emails. It is doing something in Cheyenne’s memory, in her honor, something that she would have never given a second thought to. Just her nature, so kind, caring, sweet, thoughtful, and generous!!!

I also enjoy going through the thousands of photos that we have on the computer. One thing that strikes me, every time that I look at them, even though Cheyenne was sick, even though she was going through all the madness of treatment, even though we had a horrible prognosis, those days, those days were the best in our lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We were a family!!!!!! A complete family!!!!!! We lived each day as if it were our last!!!! We laughed, we smiled, we loved!!!! Constantly, every day, every second. We lived!!!!! Oh, what I would give to have those days back again…..

Every day I see people with their children. The way that some treat them, the way that some talk to them. If they only knew what I knew, things would surely be different. Please, Please, enjoy your children, your family, make them smile, love them, hug them. Life is too short!!!!!! Let there be no regrets.

Thank you and God Bless you all!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Hey Chey,

Wondering what you have been up to! Miss you horribly, sweet girl. You have touched so many. You are one special young lady. Love you to the moon and back, a billion times. Love ya, Love ya, Love ya.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives to help us in our grief, and to help us keep our sanity.

With these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004, out of the blue, Cheyenne asked her mom to teach her how to use the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a scrap of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, I found this pillow, shed quite a few tears hugging and holding it, and we placed it in a safe place to keep forever.

A few weeks later Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate, and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to deliver the jersey to the Coach prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at home and had asked for help in finding something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where the item was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us, hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped away my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied, she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, why a Mockingbird? We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief. What was the significance of a Mockingbird.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer, and through my tears, typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry, was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently until the Lord took her home!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us every day of our lives as we await our reunion in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sung to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They sit on the porch and look through the windows. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!! Our baby is saying hello!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we started feeding birds after our little Mockingbird came home. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we wanted to continue Cheyenne’s legacy. For her last birthday Cheyenne had insisted on taking all the family and her friends out to eat at her favorite restaurant, her treat. It was only right that we do this again. As we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant, there was a little visitor. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, the entire family would drive into town to eat at a specific restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to enjoy the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved doing this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant this night at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot, a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and landed on another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us for several seconds, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are many, many other instances of our visits with Mockingbirds. In each case, these little birds act like no other. On trips out of town we are visited, in store parking lots we are visited, I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. They seem to visit us when we need it most!! Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of March the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella March Featured Friends:

Noah (6) likes red, pirates, army men, & Star Wars

Erma (65) likes lavender, dogs, easy listening music, & chocolate

Kyle (9) likes blue, pug dogs, cub scouts & Power Rangers

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Saturday, March 18, 2006 11:18 AM CST

I know that it has been a long while since an update, but as I have said earlier, there is just not much going on in our lives. As strange as it sounds, in order for me to find the words to write, I need some form of inspiration. Of course, Cheyenne was and continues to be my inspiration.

I was just outside admiring Cheyenne’s garden and within a few minutes I was covered with Mockingbirds, all around me. There were 10 on the water fountain, and many, many sitting in the trees, on the porch railing, on the ground, and in the garden. Most chattering away at me. I was so moved by it that I thought I had better write a little something about a few of our Mockingbird experiences as I have promised. I will include it just below the journal when it is finished and will leave it up for awhile. Hopefully, I will have it up by tonight or tomorrow. It is really quite amazing, all that God is doing for us, to help get us through the days, and to let us know that our girl Cheyenne is right here with us, every second of the day!!!!

We continue to miss our pumpkin Cheyenne completely, totally, with all of our hearts, with every fiber of our beings, but we know that we can’t be with her again until God calls us home. Although the days may be a little easier now than a few months ago (we keep trying to convince ourselves of that), the feelings really haven’t changed. I guess the main difference is that the uncontrollable emotions only emerge once a day or so versus all day long every day.

For me anyway, I have discovered that I need to feel Cheyenne’s presence to keep my sanity. I have had a lot of work to do lately, around the house, for church, etc.., One of my more recent projects included building a carport and a barn. The carport construction took over a week of constant work daylight to sunset. During this week I was really miserable and emotional. At the time I didn’t realize why I was having such a hard time, all day, every minute of the day, as I had told myself earlier that if I stay busy, my days will pass a little easier. Finally, as the carport was almost finished, I took the day off and spent the entire day working in Cheyenne’s garden.

It was wonderful. The mockingbirds kept me company the entire day. The garden is now getting over its “winter” look, the winter flowers are in full bloom and the spring flowers are just beginning, it is looking really beautiful. Cheyenne’s wind chimes making beautiful music. Cheyenne’s little Cinnie Minnie never more than 6 inches from me, helping in the garden. And most of all, I felt Cheyenne with me all day. It was wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I have learned that it is not just working in the garden that gives me this feeling of closeness to Cheyenne. Of course it is the Rambelles Basketball games (now over with the team going to the Nationals, AGAIN), it is putting a smile on a child’s face, it is supporting the Children’s Miracle Network, it is sending out prayer blankets in Cheyenne’s memory and honor to those in need, it is visiting and talking to people who are struggling, it is trying to support others who are traveling this journey as we, it is visiting caringbridge sites, and it is reading all the wonderful entries in Cheyenne’s guestbook. (You have no idea how Cheyenne’s site keeps me going. I probably visit it 10 times a day, everyday, just to look at the photos, read the entries, and remember, remember how sweet my little girl was here on this earth and touched so many people.) It is those wonderful phone calls we get from Julie (Maddie’s mom) and Julie (Maxie’s Grandmother), and all those emails. It is doing something in Cheyenne’s memory, in her honor, something that she would have never given a second thought to. Just her nature, so kind, caring, sweet, thoughtful, and generous!!!

I also enjoy going through the thousands of photos that we have on the computer. One thing that strikes me, every time that I look at them, even though Cheyenne was sick, even though she was going through all the madness of treatment, even though we had a horrible prognosis, those days, those days were the best in our lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We were a family!!!!!! A complete family!!!!!! We lived each day as if it were our last!!!! We laughed, we smiled, we loved!!!! Constantly, every day, every second. We lived!!!!! Oh, what I would give to have those days back again…..

Every day I see people with their children. The way that some treat them, the way that they talk to them. If they only knew what I knew, things would surely be different. Please, Please, enjoy your children, your family, make them smile, love them, hug them. Life is too short!!!!!! Let there be no regrets.

Thank you and God Bless you all!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Hey Chey,

Wondering what you have been up to! Miss you horribly, sweet girl. You have touched so many. You are one special young lady. Love you to the moon and back, a billion times. Love ya, Love ya, Love ya.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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Since Cheyenne went to Heaven, we continually receive little signs that she is still here with us, watching over us, and loves us. Some of the signs are small, some very dramatic. Although I could not list them all, I thought I would share with the world two things that God has allowed to happen in our lives.

Due to these events our days are better. Where we once knew with confidence that there was a God, there was a Heaven, I can’t express in strong enough terms that now we KNOW WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINITY, GOD DOES EXIST, HEAVEN IS VERY, VERY REAL, AND OUR BABY IS THERE AWAITING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHEYENNE’S PILLOW

One day in 2004 Cheyenne was sitting around the house and out of the blue asked her mom to teach her how to sew on the sewing machine. Donna took her into the sewing room and within a few minutes taught Cheyenne the basics of sewing. Donna found a few scraps of lavender colored material, gave it to Cheyenne, and left the room. After quite some time Cheyenne came out of the room and proudly showed us her creation. She had made a small lavender colored pillow and had sewn her name in cursive across the top. The outer edges of the pillow were sewn in a unique zig zag pattern. It was beautiful!!!!

A few weeks after Cheyenne had passed from this world to Heaven, Donna and I were preparing to leave the house to attend an ASU Rambelles Basketball game. The Angelo State Rambelles team had adopted Cheyenne as an honorary teammate and now that she was in Heaven, they still insisted on placing her ASU Basketball jersey on the bench next to the coach for each game.

We were scurrying around the house, in a hurry so we would not be late to hand the coach the jersey prior to the start of the game. Diana, Cheyenne’s big sister, was at the house and had asked me to help find something for her prior to our departure. I told Diana that I knew exactly where it was, and went out to a small storeroom in the backyard to retrieve it.

In the storeroom, the first thing that I saw was Cheyenne’s new basketball shoes sitting on the floor. Oh, how she loved basketball!!!!!! All those thoughts of her playing, her smiling face, her now no longer with us hit me all at once. My emotions got the best of me and I began crying, talking to Cheyenne out loud. I told her how much we missed her, and that “We want you here with us!” “Cheyenne, we just want you here with us!!!”

I wiped my tears, tried to gain my composure, found the item that Diana wanted, and went back into the house. I gave the item to Diana and told Donna, Cheyenne’s mom, that we had to leave to make it to the game in time. I then asked Donna if she had Cheyenne’s ASU jersey, to which she replied that she would get it. Donna went into Cheyenne’s bedroom, opened her closet to retrieve the jersey, and out of the closet fell, directly into Donna’s arms, a small pillow. Not just any pillow!!! A small handmade pillow, of lavender colored material, with a zig zag pattern sewn around the edges. On the top of the pillow was sewn, in cursive, the words, “I’M HERE” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only seconds after telling Cheyenne that we wanted her here, out of a closet that we had opened many, many times since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven, out came this pillow, falling directly into Cheyenne’s mom’s arms!! We had never seen it before this second.. But when we needed it most, God let us know that Cheyenne was here with us.

CHEYENNE’S MOCKINGBIRD

Shortly after Cheyenne left this world and entered the gates of Heaven, we were visiting her at Lawnhaven Cemetery. While sitting there on the ground, talking to Cheyenne, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to us. It would cock its little head and just chatter away at us. It hopped off the marker and hopped over to us, within inches, just chattering away.

Over the next few days and weeks this little Mockingbird would meet us at the cemetery every day. It was not afraid of us at all, flying up to us as we arrived, and staying just feet or inches from us, just chattering and chattering.

I mentioned it on Cheyenne’s website and almost immediately received several responses telling us that Cheyenne was sending us a sign through this little bird, telling us that she was alright.

Donna and I wondered, but why a Mockingbird. We had read other’s stories about butterflies and other animals, but why would God and Cheyenne chose a Mockingbird as a sign to help us in our grief.

A few minutes after Donna and I had this conversation, Donna called me into Cheyenne’s room. Donna was crying, and pointed to a picture on the wall, one that had been there for some time, but had slipped our minds. There on the wall was a life size hand crocheted likeness of a Mockingbird. In the corner of the frame, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus!!!!!

At that point, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I would take care of this little bird, and would begin to feed it at the cemetery. To determine what type of bird food to feed it, I sat down at the computer and through my tears typed in the word “Mockingbird” on the Internet Search Engine.

The first entry, was not a Mockingbird, but a lullaby, “Hush Little Baby”.

I immediately understood and began to cry even harder… As our baby lay in her bed for her last hours on this earth, Donna and I lay beside her, holding her, and I gently sang into her ear. What did I sing,? “Hush little baby, don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird! If that Mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Not knowing that rest of the lyrics, I sang this over and over to my baby. “Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird!” I sang this to my baby for hours, holding her gently!!!

Cheyenne wanted to make sure that we knew that she was okay, and she was going to make sure that we had a beautiful Mockingbird to sing to us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the story doesn’t stop there!!

That Mockingbird continued to visit us every day at the cemetery. Then, one day, just days before Easter, I arrived at the cemetery to find the little Mockingbird lying dead near Cheyenne’s marker. How was I supposed to take this? What was God telling us? I cried, brought the little dead bird home and buried it in Cheyenne’s garden. A day or so later, I believe the day before Easter, we drove to the cemetery to visit. As we arrived, a lone Mockingbird flew right up and landed on Cheyenne’s Marker. It stayed with us the whole time we were there, eventually sitting on the bench next to us. Easter, there could not have been a more appropriate time for this little bird to reappear!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days and weeks, that little bird would visit us on each trip to the cemetery. On one of those trips, I told it that it should just come home with us, it could live at our house. We did not have a single Mockingbird at our house!!!

The very next day, what did we have in Cheyenne’s garden at the house, a lone single Mockingbird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just any Mockingbird!!!!!!!! This little guy was not afraid of us at all. Coming within inches, talking to us, cocking its head and chattering away.

Since that day God sends us Mockingbirds to keep us company. I have had them land on my shoulder and peck me on the cheek. I have had them land on top of my head. I have had them hop to the door of the house as if they wanted inside. I can’t go outside without being visited and sang to by a Mockingbird. At last count, at our house, where there were none until I asked this little fellow to come home, we have possibly 50 or more Mockingbirds. They are everywhere!!!! They follow us around the outside of the house. They sing to us. They are not afraid of us at all, coming within inches. I have stroked one’s back as it drank from the water fountain, it is amazing. A gift from God!!!!!

One may think that we feed them, of course they are friendly. Yes, we feed birds. Hundreds of cardinals, finches, dove, and other birds feed at our feeders. But even though I feed them, they are deathly afraid of me. The door opens and they are gone!!!! As far as the Mockingbirds go, I try to feed them, but as of yet I have found nothing that they will eat.

And it is not just here at home.

On Cheyenne’s first birthday in Heaven, we celebrated with family and friends for dinner at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant. During the entire celebration, a Mockingbird sat perched on the outside window sill, watching us intently.

On Christmas Eve, as was our family custom with Cheyenne, we drove into town to eat at a particular restaurant, attend late night service at church, and then drive around to see the Christmas Lights. Cheyenne loved to do this, and we wanted to continue this custom. As we exited the restaurant at around 9pm, it was very dark outside. There sitting on our car in the parking lot was a lone Mockingbird!!!! AT 9 o’clock at night!!!!! The bird flew off our car and flew to another that sat directly under a light. It sat there cocking its head and looking directly at us, then flew away into the night!!!!!

Recently, the Wheelers invited us to little Bethany’s birthday party. Bethany insisted on sending the invitation to Cheyenne, so it came in the mail addressed to “Forever” Cheyenne. Donna and I could not attend. That night, Sherri let us know that during the entire party, there was a lone Mockingbird sitting outside the window watching the party!!!! Cheyenne loves that Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could go on and on. These are but a few of our Mockingbird experiences. But we know that God sends these little creatures to let us know that Cheyenne is right here with us, watching over us, keeping us company, and helping us with our enormous grief. Thank you God!!!!!

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

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PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of March the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella March Featured Friends:

Noah (6) likes red, pirates, army men, & Star Wars

Erma (65) likes lavender, dogs, easy listening music, & chocolate

Kyle (9) likes blue, pug dogs, cub scouts & Power Rangers

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 11:13 PM CST

UPDATE 03/02/2006

Thank you for all the prayers for little Colton. As of this morning I understand that the Pediatric Neurosurgeon was planning to move Colton out of PICU.

I was thinking about it, how strange, but a good strange. There are soooo many children that will always be in my thoughts and prayers, for the rest of my life. Most are not sick, and hopefully will never even see the inside of a hospital. I probably won't ever meet them, and some may never even know my name. Colton, Charlotte, Ashley, Keegan, Devin, Charli, and on and on. There are so, so many that I have gotten to know that have lost their brothers and sisters. They are now family. And, gosh, they have a wonderful bunch of angels looking down on them from Heaven.

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As Sherry pointed out in the guestbook entry, the blood drive for Kathyrn was a great success. Donna had arranged for her work’s normally scheduled blood drive to benefit Kathyrn and both Calvary and Trinity Lutheran Churches held special drives for her benefit. Added together, along with those that donated at the Blood Services Office more than 30 pints made its way into system to help people, along with sweet little Kathyrn. Thank you to all who took time out from their busy schedule to help save lives!!!!!

If I am not mistaken, I believe that Colton Griffin is having his surgery tomorrow, so PLEASE remember him and his parents in your prayers. Susan, Mark, Colton, and Angel Jake are so very special to our family. http://www.caringbridge.org/page/jakegriffin

The past couple of weeks have been sort of a blur, with so much happening and so much work to do.

Last week Donna and I had the privilege of attending a Shannon Medical Center Children’s Miracle Network function. In the process we met the new Ambassador children and their families, as well spent time with the families from the previous years and many, many of the supporters. Sadly, at the function we learned that little 10 year old Victoria Noyola, a CMN Ambassador with Cheyenne and Justin, joined Cheyenne and Justin in Heaven on the 4th. I wish that we had known as we would have liked to attend her service.

During the CMN event we spoke to the new Director, and……. We were notified today that the 2004 CMN posters are being reprinted with a photo of Cheyenne, along with the other children. When Cheyenne became an Ambassador for the CMN, the posters had already been ordered, so Cheyenne’s photo never made it onto the huge posters. Sharla told us today that as soon as they are reprinted, the ones on display in the hospital will be changed out……… THANK YOU Sharla!!!!!!!!!!

We have been attending several ASU Rambelles Basketball games (Cheyenne’s Team!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) over the past two weeks. The Belles ended their regular season 2nd in the Lone Star Conference, South Division. Tonight we watched the girls win their first playoff game, on their way to another Lone Star ConferenceTitle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For all that Coach Brooks, all the Belles players, and ASU as a whole has done for our family, we had a beautiful plaque made with photos of Cheyenne and both teams from this year and last, thanking them. Now we understand that they have chosen a place to permanently place the plaque. They are going to place it just above the BEAUTIFUL bench and silk tree that Coach Slate and her daughter Christene arranged and donated to ASU…. This is such a perfect place. We could not have been happier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now the bench, plant, the plaque commemorating the bench and plaque, and now this plaque with Cheyenne’s smiling face on it will be there for all to see, at the entrance to the ASU Athletics’ Hall of Fame.

Also this week we received the most beautiful and sweet drawings from Ms Pam’s Preschool class. They are absolutely precious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks to Ms Pam, her entire class is growing up to be a caring group of talented children….

And lastly, but most certainly not leastly, for a little Diana news. Last Friday Diana tested in Karate for another promotion. Diana is now a RED BELT!!!!! I only wish you could see this girl. She is sooooooo awesome. Probably a little dangerous also!!!!!!!! At this test Diana even broke boards with her hands and feet!!!!!! Not little boards, by the way. I would have had a hard time breaking them with a hammer!!!!! I haven’t checked the photos that Donna took, but if a good one turns out, I may post it.

Also, so I don’t get into really, really bad trouble. Donna reminded me that we were a little late on a few thank you’s (Arabella for one), so hopefully I will have time to get them in the mail over the next day or so….

Thank you to all that visit our baby's site, and to those that take time to leave little messages. You have absolutely no idea how it helps to know that you are there, praying for us and thinking about us and our little girl. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Pumpkin,

I guess you know how much we have been missing you lately. We miss you more and more everyday!!!!!!! Love you more and more every day too!!!! Come visit, OK..

Love you to the moon and back a billion quadrillion times!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of March the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella March Featured Friends:

Noah (6) likes red, pirates, army men, & Star Wars

Erma (65) likes lavender, dogs, easy listening music, & chocolate

Kyle (9) likes blue, pug dogs, cub scouts & Power Rangers

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Thursday, February 16, 2006 11:21 AM CST

UPDATE Tuesday 02/21/06

I just learned that little Colt Griffin, Jake’s new little brother, was just diagnosed with sagittal craniosynostosis (a fused skull plate) and will have to have surgery in a few weeks in an attempt to correct it. Of course, Colt’s mom, Susan and big brother Jake, were our very first caringbridge friends and now Cheyenne and Jake are best friends in Heaven. I can only imagine how hard it is for Susan to be worried about her little man. Please join me in prayers for Colt as well as Susan and Mark. Thank you and God Bless you all. http://www.caringbridge.org/page/jakegriffin

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It has been a long time since an update, but there just hasn’t been much happening in our lives. As you know, Cheyenne was pretty much our inspiration and without her here to keep us going, it is a pretty boring routine. Work, school, church, karate, ASU Basketball, and missing Cheyenne constantly!!!! There are only 2 weeks left this season of ASU Basketball, so I imagine that our lives will become even more mundane.

Diana is still doing fantastic in school. As a matter of fact, I forgot to mention that last Semester she made the Dean’s List again!!!!!!!! We are soooo proud of her!!!!! She can’t wait to graduate this December and begin her Graduate Studies.

Donna has been so swamped at work lately, she probably will welcome some time at home. She is learning to crochet in her spare time and is working on a couple of projects for some children. She is actually very good, even though she doesn’t think so. However, I saw the big smile on a young child’s face the other day when she gave him a little crocheted gift.

I still have not started the waterfall in Cheyenne’s Garden. I have, however, firmed up the design in my head. I now only have to put it down on paper and began to collect the supplies. One can buy kits to build waterfalls, but they are expensive. One the size that I am building is over $2,000 for the kit. I am confident that by designing and manufacturing most of the parts and pieces, I can build one for around $250. Of course the hard part will be the digging and manual labor involved. But hopefully, when all is said and done, it will be a beautiful addition to Cheyenne’s Garden. Within the design I plan to have several plants, bushes, and at least one small tree. I have already ordered several Butterfly bushes in various colors that should arrive shortly.

But, before I can begin the waterfall, I have a few other projects to do. So, all in due time, I guess.

Yesterday the Mockingbirds around the house finally began their beautiful songs. All winter they have other sounds that they make, but not songs. I had one sing to me for 30 minutes yesterday. Sitting in a nearby tree, looking right at me and just singing away.
Out of curiosity, I decided to try to count the Mockingbirds at our house yesterday afternoon. The weather was, for a change, absolutely beautiful. I noticed that the Mockingbirds were flocking to the water fountain so I went into the yard, laid under the water fountain (with Cinnamon on my stomach) and tried to count them as they landed on the fountain. Within 15 minutes 17 landed on the fountain. They would just look at Cinnamon and me on the ground within 4 feet of them, and enjoy the water. I could also hear them fluttering around within inches of my head behind me, on the rose bushes and porch fence, but in the position that I was in, I couldn’t turn around. Every time one would land behind me, Cinnamon would raise her head and just look at it.

But, I am still no closer to knowing how many we have, as there were probably 20 or so that came before I laid down, and after I came into the house, the water fountain was again covered with Mockingbirds of every size. On thing that I did notice, that of the hundreds of other birds (cardinals, robins, finches, dove, etc) only one landed on the fountain while I was there. And the second it saw me, it flew… The rest stayed a safe distance away. Only the Mockingbirds treat me like family…

Several people have commented that I sound so sad in the journal. I try not to, but the truth of the matter is that we are. Nothing can change that. We miss the light of our lives so, so much. But, I promise in the future I will try to sound a little more upbeat, if it is possible.

Thank you to everyone for all that you do, for our family and for all the other families. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Pumpkin,
Missed seeing your beautiful smiling face on Valentines!!!! You’re our valentine!!!!! Loving you and Missing you to the moon an back a billion jillion times. Come visit when you can. Give Cameron a GREAT BIG hug from us and take care of him.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy and Daddy

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SAN ANGELO BLOOD DRIVE FOR KATHERINE KUHLMANN

Help Katherine, a 3rd grader at Trinity Lutheran Church School, fight cancer.
.
Where: Trinity Lutheran Church Fellowship Hall
When: Sunday - February 26, 2006
Time: 8:00 AM until every potential donor has had the opportunity to help!
POC and appointments: Sherry Wheeler 942-5492 Trinity Lutheran 944-8660 Trinity School 944-1275 Trinity ECC 944-1148

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

********** CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND **********

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

********* CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP *********

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always Thank you!!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of February the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella February Featured Friends:

Avery (2) likes yellow, tea parties and kitty cats

Kathy (60) likes dusty rose colors, pets, New Orleans Saints football,
Scrabble & Barbara Streisand

Charlotte (80) likes San Diego Padres baseball, crossword puzzles, and
collects owls.

Carl (34) likes monkeys, country blues and Native American music, American
history, & Nascar

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I now use it and can attest that the search results are almost the same as Yahoo or Google.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Thursday, February 9, 2006 10:17 PM CST

PLEASE CONSIDER BEING AN AUDREY’S UMBRELLA VOLUNTEER!!!!

I understand that Audrey’s Umbrella is in urgent need of volunteers to become AU Fairies. Audrey’s Umbrella, part of The Brain Trust, reaches out to those fighting brain tumors with happy mail, small gifts, and whatever can be done to brighten their days. It is a fantastic charitable organization from which Cheyenne received hundreds of smiles. As always, I have information about Audrey’s Umbrella towards the end of the journal. Thank you!!!!!

________________________________________________________________________

There is a wonderful little girl named Katherine from San Angelo that needs our help. Katherine was diagnosed with Leukemia last year and has been undergoing treatments with many complications since. A blood drive is being held here in San Angelo to benefit Katherine and I would love to see all my San Angelo friends at this drive. I have posted the information immediately following: Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy
Help Katherine fight cancer. She is a 3rd grader at Trinity Lutheran Church.
A Replacement Blood Drive is one that helps a family with hospital bills. Not only will your donation help save up to 3 lives per pint donated, Katherine and her family will receive financial support.
For every 4 units we collect they will receive money from UBS toward hospital bills.
Please come out and show your support for this brave young lady and her family.
Where: Trinity Lutheran Church Fellowship Hall
When: Sunday - February 26, 2006
Time: 8:00 AM until every potential donor has had the opportunity to help!
POC and appointments: Sherry Wheeler 942-5492 Trinity Lutheran 944-8660 Trinity School 944-1275 Trinity ECC 944-1148

There is a young lady that many of us have gotten to know over the past year or so. I know that this young lady does not do what she does for publicity or for her personal benefit, but I wanted to publicly thank her anyway. Not just for what she has done for Cheyenne and now our family, but for being a friend and buddy to soooo many children in need. She is wise beyond her years, so caring and generous, and helps so many children. Of course, Arabella Uhry!!!!!!!

When Arabella heard that we had started the Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship at ASU, she immediately wrote and told me that she wanted to be the first to donate to Cheyenne’s Scholarship. Young Arabella sent her savings and allowance to me this week, and by the way Arabella, you are the first donation!!!!!!!!!!! Words can’t express our appreciation. When I say that you shouldn’t have, you really shouldn’t have. You could have used that money to buy yourself something nice, but no, it is just like you to think of other people first!!! Again, thank you Arabella!!!!!!

And speaking of the Scholarship, we were fortunate enough to be able to arrange for it to begin this Semester, even though we were a little late in starting it. I understand that the recipient this year is a young lady that although is an excellent Basketball player for the Rambelles, would not have received scholarship assistance this year if not for Cheyenne’s Scholarship. So, that really makes us feel good.

Thank you to everyone for the support, the guestbook entries, emails, and everything that you do for us and all the other families. Please remember Cameron’s family in your prayers over the next few weeks as they try to live their lives without their little sunshine. Again, Thank you and God Bless you all!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey Booger,

Sure have been missing you a lot lately…. Be sure and save us a place. Can’t wait to be with you again. LOVE YA, LOVE YA, LOVE YA!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

*****Cheyenne Fiveash Memorial Fund*****

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

*****Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship*****

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I downloaded it onto my IE explorer yesterday, and can attest that the search results are same as Yahoo or Google.

_______________________________________________________

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of February the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella February Featured Friends:

Avery (2) likes yellow, tea parties and kitty cats

Kathy (60) likes dusty rose colors, pets, New Orleans Saints football,
Scrabble & Babara Streisand

Charlotte (80) likes San Diego Padres baseball, crossword puzzles, and
collects owls.

Carl (34) likes monkeys, country blues and Native American music, American
history, & Nascar

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Tuesday, February 7, 2006 7:14 PM CST

There is a wonderful little girl named Katherine from San Angelo that needs our help. Katherine was diagnosed with Leukemia last year and has been undergoing treatments with many complications since. A blood drive is being held here in San Angelo to benefit Katherine and I would love to see all my San Angelo friends at this drive. I have posted the information immediately following: Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Help Katherine fight cancer. She is a 3rd grader at Trinity Lutheran Church.
A Replacement Blood Drive is one that helps a family with hospital bills. Not only will your donation help save up to 3 lives per pint donated, Katherine and her family will receive financial support.
For every 4 units we collect they will receive money from UBS toward hospital bills.
Please come out and show your support for this brave young lady and her family.
Where: Trinity Lutheran Church Fellowship Hall
When: Sunday - February 26, 2006
Time: 8:00 AM until every potential donor has had the opportunity to help!
POC and appointments: Sherry Wheeler 942-5492 Trinity Lutheran 944-8660 Trinity School 944-1275 Trinity ECC 944-1148

There is a young lady that many of us have gotten to know over the past year or so. I know that this young lady does not do what she does for publicity or for her personal benefit, but I wanted to publicly thank her anyway. Not just for what she has done for Cheyenne and now our family, but for being a friend and buddy to soooo many children in need. She is wise beyond her years, so caring and generous, and helps so many children. Of course, Arabella Uhry!!!!!!!

When Arabella heard that we had started the Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship at ASU, she immediately wrote and told me that she wanted to be the first to donate to Cheyenne’s Scholarship. Young Arabella sent her savings and allowance to me this week, and by the way Arabella, you are the first donation!!!!!!!!!!! Words can’t express our appreciation. When I say that you shouldn’t have, you really shouldn’t have. You could have used that money to buy yourself something nice, but no, it is just like you to think of other people first!!! Again, thank you Arabella!!!!!!

And speaking of the Scholarship, we were fortunate enough to be able to arrange for it to begin this Semester, even though we were a little late in starting it. I understand that the recipient this year is a young lady that although is an excellent Basketball player for the Rambelles, would not have received scholarship assistance this year if not for Cheyenne’s Scholarship. So, that really makes us feel good.

Thank you to everyone for the support, the guestbook entries, emails, and everything that you do for us and all the other families. Please remember Cameron’s family in your prayers over the next few weeks as they try to live their lives without their little sunshine. Again, Thank you and God Bless you all!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey Booger,

Sure have been missing you a lot lately…. Be sure and save us a place. Can’t wait to be with you again. LOVE YA, LOVE YA, LOVE YA!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

*****Cheyenne Fiveash Memorial Fund*****

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

*****Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship*****

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I downloaded it onto my IE explorer yesterday, and can attest that the search results are same as Yahoo or Google.

_______________________________________________________

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of January the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella January Featured Friends:

Savannah (4) Likes blue, cats, dogs, dance music, Spongebob and Disney princesses.

Laura (25) Likes music, running, and marathons

Nicholas (9) Likes red, drawing, and Nascar

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 4:28 PM CST

UPDATE 02/03/05

I am heartbroken to learn that our buddy, Cameron Brooks (
http://www.caringbridge.org/ct/cameron/ ) joined our baby in Heaven this morning. Please remember his wonderful family in your prayers.
<><><><><><>

Chey Chey,

Take care of Cameron and show him around, OK..

Love ya, Forever and ever

Daddy

_________________________________

UPDATE Thursday February 02, 2003

_______________________________________________________

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to be able to donate much needed money to an extremely worthwhile charity, and not cost you A SINGLE CENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW YOU CAN!!!!

The Tumbleweed Foundation has been added to the charity list for the internet “Search Engine” Good Search. Good Search, powered by Yahoo Search, donates a portion of the fees collected from the advertisers to the chosen charities each year. All you have to do is go to http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx , download the search bar for your Internet Explorer, select “Tumbleweed Foundation, Eight Four, PA” as your chosen charity, and then every time you use the Search Engine, Tumbleweed will receive about 1 cent. These pennies can really add up over a year!!!!

I downloaded it onto my IE explorer yesterday, and can attest that the search results are same as Yahoo or Google.

_______________________________________________________

Coincidences, I no longer believe in them. I can’t even begin to understand life, why certain things happen, especially when it comes to innocent children suffering and families trying to live their lives without their babies. But too many things have happened and continue to happen in our lives since Cheyenne has gone to Heaven to be coincidental.

All day yesterday my thoughts were of Maddie P, her mom Julie and her sisters and brother. Even last night I lay in bed after midnight thinking of Maddie and Cheyenne together First thing this morning the phone rang. Of course, it was Julie, Maddie’s mom. I needed to talk to her today!!! As strange as it sounds, we have never met in person, but Donna and I feel as close to her family as our own.

One thing I told Julie was that I just realized that yesterday was the first day that I can recall where my emotions didn’t get the best of me. Today, however, they more than made it up!! Every day!! That is our life now.

I also thought this morning that it had been quite some time since a Mockingbird paid me one of those close up and friendly visits. I still see them constantly, but I haven’t experienced one of those special moments with them in awhile. Also as strange as it may sound, I need those moments to give me a boost.

This afternoon I stopped by Angelo State University to drop off some money for Cheyenne’s Memorial Scholarship. As I was leaving the building there on the steps, directly in front of me (I could have gone out any number of doors) was a single Mockingbird waiting for me. It began its little hopping around dance, talking to me, eventually jumping up into a shrub in the middle of the sidewalk. I don’t know what people thought, but I sat right down on the edge of the sidewalk right in front of the Administration Building and started talking to this little bird… I even called Donna from my cell to tell her what I was doing. This little thing would crawl up into the shrub and stick its head out at me, as if playing hide and seek, not more than 18 inches from me. After several minutes, it finally flew up and landed on a sign post near the car. Coincidental, not a chance in a million. I needed that bird today, I needed that little bird right then and there!!!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunday, January 29, 2006

The love a little girl has for her Aunt Cheyenne!!!!!

Today our granddaughter McKayla (one of the M&M’s as Cheyenne would say) came to church with us. She had a wonderful time, including spending time with little Bethany in Sunday School.

After church we normally drive out to Lawnhaven for a visit, but today we were uncertain how McKayla would react, as she just turned 5. After a little discussion we decided that we needed to visit, and made the trip to the cemetery. As soon as we arrived, McKayla jumped out of the car and said, “Oh, I come here with my Dad to visit Cheyenne” and ran over to Cheyenne’s marker.

While we were there McKayla examined and played with most of the little things that have been left there by various people. As I have mentioned many times, it really makes us feel good to discover that someone cares enough about our baby, Cheyenne, to leave a little something. People still remember, still care!!!!

As we were preparing to leave, McKayla noticed that someone had left a nickel on the marker. Now McKayla knows money. As a matter of fact, every penny that she finds she and her sister, Maddie, place in a special jar at their home. They use this money to buy treats on their way to school when they’re good.

Knowing this, I watched McKayla pick up the nickel, examine it, roll it around in her hand, and then she asked, “Whose nickel is it?”

I told her that someone had left it for Cheyenne some time ago and that we had just left it there. At this point I dug around in my pants pocket and found a nickel and gave it to McKayla, telling her that she could have this one.

She smiled and we started walking towards the car, with McKayla hanging back a few steps. As we reached the car McKayla asked, “Why do people leave things for Cheyenne?”

I said, “ I guess because they love her and miss her.”

At that point, our sweet little McKayla turned and took off like a shot, running back to Cheyenne’s marker. Without saying a word, she placed that nickel that I had just given her right next to the other, then turned and ran back to the car!!!!!!!!!!

I had to conceal the tears that began to flow. Such a sweet little girl, missing and loving her Aunt Cheyenne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey Punky Little,

Missing you, Missing you, Missing you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wish we could just hold you for a second…. Love you to the moon and back, a million zillion times…

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

*****Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Fund*****

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

*****Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship*****

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of January the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella January Featured Friends:

Savannah (4) Likes blue, cats, dogs, dance music, Spongebob and Disney princesses.

Laura (25) Likes music, running, and marathons

Nicholas (9) Likes red, drawing, and Nascar

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Sunday, January 29, 2006 3:31 PM CST

The love a little girl has for her Aunt Cheyenne!!!!!

Today our granddaughter McKayla (one of the M&M’s as Cheyenne would say) came to church with us. She had a wonderful time, including spending time with little Bethany in Sunday School.

After church we normally drive out to Lawnhaven for a visit, but today we were uncertain how McKayla would react, as she just turned 5. After a little discussion we decided that we needed to visit, and made the trip to the cemetery. As soon as we arrived, McKayla jumped out of the car and said, “Oh, I come here with my Dad to visit Cheyenne” and ran over to Cheyenne’s marker.

While we were there McKayla examined and played with most of the little things that have been left there by various people. As I have mentioned many times, it really makes us feel good to discover that someone cares enough about our baby, Cheyenne, to leave a little something. People still remember, still care!!!!

As we were preparing to leave, McKayla noticed that someone had left a nickel on the marker. Now McKayla knows money. As a matter of fact, every penny that she finds she and her sister, Maddie, place in a special jar at their home. They use this money to buy treats on their way to school when they’re good.

Knowing this, I watched McKayla pick up the nickel, examine it, roll it around in her hand, and then she asked, “Whose nickel is it?”

I told her that someone had left it for Cheyenne some time ago and that we had just left it there. At this point I dug around in my pants pocket and found a nickel and gave it to McKayla, telling her that she could have this one.

She smiled and we started walking towards the car, with McKayla hanging back a few steps. As we reached the car McKayla asked, “Why do people leave things for Cheyenne?”

I said, “ I guess because they love her and miss her.”

At that point, our sweet little McKayla turned and took off like a shot, running back to Cheyenne’s marker. Without saying a word, she placed that nickel that I had just given her right next to the other, then turned and ran back to the car!!!!!!!!!!

I had to conceal the tears that began to flow. Such a sweet little girl, missing and loving her Aunt Cheyenne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey Punky Little,

Missing you, Missing you, Missing you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wish we could just hold you for a second…. Love you to the moon and back, a million zillion times…

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

*****Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Fund*****

The family and friends of Cheyenne started this fund to continue Cheyenne’s legacy of generosity, caring, and compassion for others, especially children. The fund is used primarily to put a smile on a sick child’s face, sending them little gifts and letting them know that we care. Additionally, we use this fund to send small personalized gifts, books about Heaven, and other items in an attempt to offer some comfort to parents who are attempting to live life without their children.

*****Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship*****

The Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship was recently established at Angelo State University by family and friends. The Scholarship is awarded each Semester to an ASU Rambelle Basketball player. I am sure you remember how much the Rambelles meant to Cheyenne, how great they were to her, and the fact that they honored her by making her an Honorary Rambelle. They brought a smile to her face when she needed it most. We are eternally grateful for all that they did for our girl as well as what they continue to do for our family and the community at large. They have won our hearts!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of January the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella January Featured Friends:

Savannah (4) Likes blue, cats, dogs, dance music, Spongebob and Disney princesses.

Laura (25) Likes music, running, and marathons

Nicholas (9) Likes red, drawing, and Nascar

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Wednesday, January 18, 2006 3:48 PM CST

Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought that I would be this busy in retirement. The days and weeks are not long enough to accomplish all that I want. Lately it seems as if my days begin very, very early in the morning and go until late at night, every day.

One good thing regarding our busy schedule, the Angelo State University basketball games have started again!!!! We so enjoy attending those games. Those young ladies that play for the Rambelles are really something. So friendly, so kind, and so nice to us!!! Also we are now getting to know the young men on the Rams team. Also a special group!!!

As a matter of fact, one of the many things that I was able to accomplish today, was to finally establish the “Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Scholarship” at Angelo State University. A lot of thought went into the scholarship, and ultimately, we decided on awarding the scholarship each Semester to a member of the ASU Rambelles Basketball team. We discovered that very few of the young ladies on the team receive large scholarships to play ball. Additionally, due to their commitment to basketball, they are unable to hold a part time job to help ends meet and pay for their education. They were some of Cheyenne’s hero’s, they treated her soooooooo nice, and now they continue to treat us like family. They are a special group of young ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So it seemed like the right thing to do.

I will admit, that at this point, the scholarship is so small it may not help that much, but hopefully as time goes on, we will be able to better fund the scholarship, raise the amount, and even possibly branch off to enable other students to benefit.

We have sooooo many things that we would love to do in Cheyenne’s memory and honor, but of course as most of us are, we are restricted as to funds.

On Tuesday Donna and I were proud to represent Cheyenne at a Children’s Miracle Network function at Shannon Medical Center. There are now two (2) extremely nice new rockers in the Pedi unit in Cheyenne’s Memory. Outside the rooms that house the chairs, a metal plate is inscribed with Cheyenne’s name. Also, while there, we dropped off Cheyenne’s ceiling tile to be placed outside the room that she almost always used, 6110. We had the tile professionally airbrushed so it really looks nice.

Diana started school again yesterday. She is a Senior at ASU working toward a PhD in Child Psychology with her intended goal being a Child Life Specialist at a major Pediatric Hospital. I am proud of this girl!!!!!!!

Diana is now part of the Big Brother and Big Sister Program in San Angelo. An amazing thing happened with Diana in this program! Her first “Little sister” is 13 years old, and although she pronounces her name differently, is spelled almost identical to Cheyenne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Apparently those two are really hitting it off, but as is understandable, Diana really misses spending time with Cheyenne!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our Mockingbirds continue to keep us company around the house as well as almost anywhere we go. A little over a week ago Little Bethany Wheeler had her birthday party and insisted on sending “Forever Cheyenne” an invitation. Unfortunately Donna and I could not attend, however, almost right after their arrival at the party, a Mockingbird showed up at the window to the party and stayed for the duration of the party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you remember, this also happened at our last celebration of Cheyenne’s birthday. Different restaurant, but same circumstances!!!

As a matter of fact, I am in the process of writing a short journal of our “Gifts from Heaven” which includes the wonderful Mockingbird visits. Of course, it won’t be all inclusive, but I will load it after the journal as soon as it is written. So many people think that these are just “coincidences”, however I am sure that after they read just a few of the things that have happened to us, they also will realize that they are indeed, our little “Gifts from Heaven”!!!!

Thank you for caring, thank you for all that you do, and God Bless each and every one of you.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey Pumpkin,

Still missing you sooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!! We love you to the moon and back, a zillion times!! Thanks for being around so much!!! Can’t wait to be with you again someday. Gosh we will have some fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How about that little Cinnie Minnie!!!!! One spoiled little puppy we have there!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of January the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella January Featured Friends:

Savannah (4) Likes blue, cats, dogs, dance music, Spongebob and Disney princesses.

Laura (25) Likes music, running, and marathons

Nicholas (9) Likes red, drawing, and Nascar

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Friday, January 6, 2006 8:31 PM CST

I realize that it has again been a long while since the last update, but without my little inspiration (Cheyenne) around, updates are difficult. To say that we miss her every second of every hour would be an understatement.

Donna has been staying busy at work and I have been staying busy, but not accomplishing much. Recently a friend told us that she had come home from work one day and asked her newly retired husband what he had done that day. His reply was, “Well, I really don’t remember, but whatever it was, it took all day.”

That is how I feel. I know that I stay busy all day long, but at the end of the day I haven’t really accomplished anything. Since becoming an Elder at Church a few weeks ago, I can see myself becoming even busier. Also I still plan to increase Cheyenne’s Garden this winter to include a huge waterfall, about 10 to 15 trees, several butterfly bushes, and other plants. Hopefully I can find the time. The most time intensive will be the waterfall, as I want to incorporate various ornamental plants growing out of it and have a large pool surrounding it to make it “bird friendly” and “cat proof”.

I really enjoy the birds that we now have around the house. The cardinals, finches, and other “winter” birds are increasing in number around the feeders. It appears as if we may have as many this year, as last.

Then there are the Mockingbirds. Our gift from Heaven!!!!! Since God sent the first one to visit us at the cemetery and then one appearing at our home after asking it to, we have been blessed with more Mockingbirds than I have ever seen in my life. They are all over our house and property, they appear almost everywhere we go, and they truly don’t act as any other bird I have ever seen. As I held my baby for the last few hours that she was here on earth with us, gently singing “Hush little baby, Don’t you cry, Daddy’s gonna buy you a mockingbird, and if that mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring”, I guess Cheyenne wanted to make sure that there was always a Mockingbird here to sing to me and mom!

I have attempted to count the Mockingbirds here at home, but there are sooo many, it is difficult. I do know that before the one appeared at the cemetery, there were none here. Now, I estimate that there are 20, 30 or maybe 40 around our house. When I am outside there are always a couple that follow me and keep me company, and then you know the stories about them landing on me, pecking me on the cheek, my stroking one’s back as it drank from the fountain, so on and so on. I swear, when I talk to them they sometimes understand.

I think Cheyenne’s brother, Christopher is jealous. He has a few at his house that he tries to feed, tries to talk to, and tries to get close to, but no way Jose!!!!! He said that he can never get closer than 50 feet without them flying.

Two days ago after washing and polishing Donna’s car, a Mockingbird landed on it. I looked up at it and warned it that it really shouldn’t be on mom’s car and could get in trouble. It cocked its head at me, took off and flew right over to me and landed on top of my head, where it walked around and sat for at least 15 seconds before flying away!!!!!

Another gift that I received for Christmas, other than the Mockingbird Call, was a book of “Birds of Texas” from Donna. I noticed that it mentioned Mockingbirds will come to a feeder with suet and raisins. So, it was a trip to town for suet and raisins. Well, I am here to tell you that I am not sure what these mockingbirds eat, but they don’t eat suet and raisins!!!!!!! I keep nuts, grapes, an apple, suet, and raisins in a special feeder that I built, just for the Mockingbirds, but I don’t think they eat out of it. I see a Mockingbird in it only about once a week. But the robins and woodpeckers sure love everything but the suet!!!! Nothing likes it!!!!

In a few days the ASU basketball home games will start again, and of course we will be going. Also, Diana will be starting the next semester soon, so her schedule of balancing her work, school, and karate is beginning again. Diana is now part of the “Big Brother’s and Big Sisters” program. She was just introduced to her “little sister” and is also planning to spend quite a bit of time with her. I think it will be really fun for both Diana and this little girl.

Thank you for caring. You really have no idea how good it makes us feel to have so many wonderful friends who continue to support us. God Bless you all! Your visits to Cheyenne’s site, your guestbook entries, the emails, cards and letters, it keeps us going and lets us know our baby is not forgotten. Thank you again!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey sweetheart,

Missing you sooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!! We love you to the moon and back, a zillion times!! Thanks for being around so much!!! Can’t wait to be with you again someday. Gosh we will have some fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of January the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella January Featured Friends:

Savannah (4) Likes blue, cats, dogs, dance music, Spongebob and Disney princesses.

Laura (25) Likes music, running, and marathons

Nicholas (9) Likes red, drawing, and Nascar

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Tuesday, December 27, 2005 6:17 PM CST

UPDATE December 25, 2005

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas full of family and friends.

The past two days have been full ones for us. We have a tradition in the family for Christmas Eve that we started a few years ago with Cheyenne. Since the Candlelight Service at church was definitely the favorite of the year for Cheyenne, we always made a point of attending it. Since it is so late at night (11pm til 1230am) the family would drive into San Angelo, eat at a particular Chinese restaurant, drive around the city looking at the Christmas lights, and then make it to church for the beautiful service.

Last night, Donna, Diana, Christopher, Leslie and I continued this tradition. After a long dinner at this particular restaurant, we were ready to venture out into the night to view the Christmas lights. Of course, our thoughts were of our baby, Cheyenne, all day, all night, every second. As we left the restaurant shortly before 10pm and were walking towards our truck, Christopher brought our attention to a little something. There on our truck (of all the vehicles in the parking lot) at 10pm (very dark outside) was a MOCKINGBIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Mockingbird flew from our truck to another on the next row which was parked directly under a light. It sat there awhile, looked at us, and flew off into the night. As they say, “Ainted God Good!!!!!!!!” For me anyway, the sermon that night had special meaning.

Today it was getting up early to clean, help cook, and prepare for a family feast, celebration, and gathering at Michael’s, then lots and lots of family and food. This evening we rounded out the day having friends over.

As far as gifts are concerned, I mentioned a particular gift that I received in the mail a few days ago. Sorry for the suspense, as I had originally intended to update the next day. But, anyway, Thank you Gretchen!!!! Gretchen sent what is most likely the Perfect Gift!!!! Not only would I never in a thousand years have thought of this, did not even know there was such a thing, but I will most likely enjoy this gift for a loooong time to come!!! Gretchen sent me a genuine, original MOCKINGBIRD CALL!!!!!!!

I couldn’t wait to use it the next day. I even practiced a little that night in the house. I waited until midmorning when there were 4 Mockingbirds on the water fountain, opened the door and went out onto the porch. Of course, all but 1 quickly flew away. Also around the bird feeders, approximately 30 yards away, there were probably 100 other birds, finches of every color, cardinals, robins, etc, singing, flying around, and feeding.

I raised up the call and began the calls that I mastered the night before. You should have seen it. You could have heard a pin drop. Every bird stopped dead in its tracks, stopped singing, stopped eating, stopped flying, and just STARED AT ME!!!!!!!! The one Mockingbird left on the water fountain flew into Cheyenne’s tree, turned and just stared. After attempting my best bird calls for a few minutes, I noticed that there were now no less than 9 or 10 Mockingbirds in the trees, all completely silent, not moving, just staring!!!!!! Apparently they had to come see what was making this awful noise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, apparently, at least according to the experts (the Mockingbirds in Cheyenne’s Garden), I have a little more practice ahead of me in the art of calling Mockingbirds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May each of you have a Blessed New Year!!!! Hold your children tight!!!

God Bless you all,

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

Tuesday, December 20, 2005 9:50 PM CST
Only 4 more days until Christmas!!!!!!

As you might expect, the last few days have been rough, as I am sure the next few will be. During the Christmas season Cheyenne was always one bright chipper young lady, constantly singing Christmas carols, smiling from ear to ear, and happy, happy, happy. One of the few videos that we have of Cheyenne was Christmas 2003. She placed the video camera on a tripod and video taped the setting up of the Christmas tree over two days. Boy was she a cutup and gosh she had fun decorating it that year!!!!!!! I sure do miss my little girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

One would think that knowing the reason for Christmas would make it easier to get through the holidays. Knowing that Christ gave us the gift of eternal life in Heaven, knowing that we will get to be with Cheyenne again, this should be enough to keep us sane during Christmas. But unfortunately, the pain is so intense, yes still, and especially now during Christmas, the days seem unbearably long. On some days it is difficult to accomplish anything. For me anyway, I seem drained of energy.

Today I attempted to do a little Christmas shopping, although we have done most of it online this year to avoid the stores, the memories, and the crowds. Today I saw something that Cheyenne would absolutely love, this little pink and blue stuffed unicorn. It made me feel good to buy it for her. I plan to leave it at Lawnhaven on Christmas day to go with the decorations that we have already placed there. I was also able to pick up a few things for her Cinnamon Sugar for Christmas. If Cheyenne were here, I am sure she would have gotten Cinnamon something spectacular.

Hopefully we will finish making our Christmas cards by tomorrow, and if you live close and are lucky, you may receive them before Christmas. For the others, please accept our apology for being soooo late.

One last note, just a little hint. Today we received a wonderful gift in the mail that made me smile and will most likely give me hours of enjoyment. Before I share with you exactly what it is, I want to try it tomorrow on the Mockingbirds. Nothing like a little mystery!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I promise to include it and its results in the next update.

In case I don’t update before Christmas, from our family to yours, HAVE A MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!! Hug your children tight. They are precious!!!!!!!

God Bless you all, each and every one,

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey Chey, Chey,

Missing you girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Joe told us that you have been visiting him a bunch over the past 2 weeks. He and Tammy are so nice, huh. How about those Christmas shirts.!!!!! I had forgotten about that photo of you two. Those were the days, huh??? Come visit if you get a chance, we love you and miss you, to the moon and back, a million billion times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mommy and Daddy

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella December Featured Friends

Alex (5) He likes Star Wars, Darth Vadar, cars and trucks, Thomas Tank Engine

Sammi (12) She likes blue, gerbils, bowling, dolls, reading, writing, and
helping sick kids

Miriam (18) She likes blue and pink, orca whales, The Beatles, game shows

Thomas (9) He likes red, cats, basketball, swimming, board games,
superhero action figures

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Tuesday, December 20, 2005 9:50 PM CST

UPDATE December 25, 2005

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas full of family and friends.

The past two days have been full ones for us. We have a tradition in the family for Christmas Eve that we started a few years ago with Cheyenne. Since the Candlelight Service at church was definitely the favorite of the year for Cheyenne, we always made a point of attending it. Since it is so late at night (11pm til 1230am) the family would drive into San Angelo, eat at a particular Chinese restaurant, drive around the city looking at the Christmas lights, and then make it to church for the beautiful service.

Last night, Donna, Diana, Christopher, Leslie and I continued this tradition. After a long dinner at this particular restaurant, we were ready to venture out into the night to view the Christmas lights. Of course, our thoughts were of our baby, Cheyenne, all day, all night, every second. As we left the restaurant shortly before 10pm and were walking towards our truck, Christopher brought our attention to a little something. There on our truck (of all the vehicles in the parking lot) at 10pm (very dark outside) was a MOCKINGBIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Mockingbird flew from our truck to another on the next row which was parked directly under a light. It sat there awhile, looked at us, and flew off into the night. As they say, “Ainted God Good!!!!!!!!” For me anyway, the sermon that night had special meaning.

Today it was getting up early to clean, help cook, and prepare for a family feast, celebration, and gathering at Michael’s, then lots and lots of family and food. This evening we rounded out the day having friends over.

As far as gifts are concerned, I mentioned a particular gift that I received in the mail a few days ago. Sorry for the suspense, as I had originally intended to update the next day. But, anyway, Thank you Gretchen!!!! Gretchen sent what is most likely the Perfect Gift!!!! Not only would I never in a thousand years have thought of this, did not even know there was such a thing, but I will most likely enjoy this gift for a loooong time to come!!! Gretchen sent me a genuine, original MOCKINGBIRD CALL!!!!!!!

I couldn’t wait to use it the next day. I even practiced a little that night in the house. I waited until midmorning when there were 4 Mockingbirds on the water fountain, opened the door and went out onto the porch. Of course, all but 1 quickly flew away. Also around the bird feeders, approximately 30 yards away, there were probably 100 other birds, finches of every color, cardinals, robins, etc, singing, flying around, and feeding.

I raised up the call and began the calls that I mastered the night before. You should have seen it. You could have heard a pin drop. Every bird stopped dead in its tracks, stopped singing, stopped eating, stopped flying, and just STARED AT ME!!!!!!!! The one Mockingbird left on the water fountain flew into Cheyenne’s tree, turned and just stared. After attempting my best bird calls for a few minutes, I noticed that there were now no less than 9 or 10 Mockingbirds in the trees, all completely silent, not moving, just staring!!!!!! Apparently they had to come see what was making this awful noise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, apparently, at least according to the experts (the Mockingbirds in Cheyenne’s Garden), I have a little more practice ahead of me in the art of calling Mockingbirds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May each of you have a Blessed New Year!!!! Hold your children tight!!!

God Bless you all,

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

Only 4 more days until Christmas!!!!!!

As you might expect, the last few days have been rough, as I am sure the next few will be. During the Christmas season Cheyenne was always one bright chipper young lady, constantly singing Christmas carols, smiling from ear to ear, and happy, happy, happy. One of the few videos that we have of Cheyenne was Christmas 2003. She placed the video camera on a tripod and video taped the setting up of the Christmas tree over two days. Boy was she a cutup and gosh she had fun decorating it that year!!!!!!! I sure do miss my little girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

One would think that knowing the reason for Christmas would make it easier to get through the holidays. Knowing that Christ gave us the gift of eternal life in Heaven, knowing that we will get to be with Cheyenne again, this should be enough to keep us sane during Christmas. But unfortunately, the pain is so intense, yes still, and especially now during Christmas, the days seem unbearably long. On some days it is difficult to accomplish anything. For me anyway, I seem drained of energy.

Today I attempted to do a little Christmas shopping, although we have done most of it online this year to avoid the stores, the memories, and the crowds. Today I saw something that Cheyenne would absolutely love, this little pink and blue stuffed unicorn. It made me feel good to buy it for her. I plan to leave it at Lawnhaven on Christmas day to go with the decorations that we have already placed there. I was also able to pick up a few things for her Cinnamon Sugar for Christmas. If Cheyenne were here, I am sure she would have gotten Cinnamon something spectacular.

Hopefully we will finish making our Christmas cards by tomorrow, and if you live close and are lucky, you may receive them before Christmas. For the others, please accept our apology for being soooo late.

One last note, just a little hint. Today we received a wonderful gift in the mail that made me smile and will most likely give me hours of enjoyment. Before I share with you exactly what it is, I want to try it tomorrow on the Mockingbirds. Nothing like a little mystery!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I promise to include it and its results in the next update.

In case I don’t update before Christmas, from our family to yours, HAVE A MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!! Hug your children tight. They are precious!!!!!!!

God Bless you all, each and every one,

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Chey, Chey,

Missing you girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Joe told us that you have been visiting him a bunch over the past 2 weeks. He and Tammy are so nice, huh. How about those Christmas shirts.!!!!! I had forgotten about that photo of you two. Those were the days, huh??? Come visit if you get a chance, we love you and miss you, to the moon and back, a million billion times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mommy and Daddy

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella December Featured Friends

Alex (5) He likes Star Wars, Darth Vadar, cars and trucks, Thomas Tank Engine

Sammi (12) She likes blue, gerbils, bowling, dolls, reading, writing, and
helping sick kids

Miriam (18) She likes blue and pink, orca whales, The Beatles, game shows

Thomas (9) He likes red, cats, basketball, swimming, board games,
superhero action figures

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.
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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Thursday, December 8, 2005 10:04 AM CST

UPDATE December 08, 2005

I can’t believe that I am updating again!! Normally the 1 to 2 week update is a stretch in having something to write about, as most days are pretty much the same, missing our girl with every fiber of our body, every beat of our hearts and just going through the motions each day. However, occasionally something happens that brings a smile to our face and I just can’t wait to share it. Today I actually have 2 things that I wanted to share.

I have mentioned it earlier, but wanted to give an update on a ministry that our church, Trinity Lutheran Church of San Angelo, started in honor of and inspired by our pumpkin Cheyenne. This ministry consists of the ladies in the church sewing Prayer Blankets, the Pastor’s and congregation praying over the blankets, and making them available to anyone to pick up and mail to someone in need of prayer. This ministry has really turned into a huge one for our small church. More than 150 blankets have already been sent to those in need and in last night’s Advent Service, 50 more were blessed and prayed over. WOW, what a great honor for our girl. Of course Cheyenne prayed every single day for all her friends in need, and probably cared more about them than herself. One generous and compassionate young lady, our Cheyenne!!!!!!!!

There is a brochure that is sent with the blankets, and although through an administrative error they failed to mention our girl, I understand that the new ones being printed will mention the fact that this ministry was inspired by and in honor of Cheyenne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And relating to this ministry, I just have to publicly thank a person that has become very special in our lives although we have never met in person. The wonderful Linda Champa of Boston, whose guestbook entries you see in sooooo many caringbridge sites, who is an Audrey’s Umbrella volunteer, and who spends sooo much of her time ministering to and helping those in need and bringing a little sunshine into their lives. I am not sure how many, but I learned that Linda has been making these absolutely BEAUTIFUL Prayer Blankets and mailing them to our church for this ministry. I saw 2 of them last night, one is temporarily displayed in the Narthex of the church for all to see and the other was being sent out to cover its new owner in prayer. Hope I didn’t embarrass you Linda, but THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If anyone would like more information on this wonderful ministry, please don’t hesitate in emailing me or calling.

The other item that I wanted to mention in today’s update is something similar to what I have mentioned many times. I can’t and make no attempts to explain it, I only take it as God smiling down on me and helping me through my grief of not being with my girl each day and at the same time letting me know that Cheyenne is right here with me through each moment of the day.

Of course it would help to know the history behind this, but since it is a little lengthy I can’t go into all the details. But hopefully you know the Mockingbird story, how God sends these little creatures to comfort me, why the Mockingbird specifically, and so on. It is truly an amazing story which defies nature, until you involve God and his loving compassion.

Yesterday evening it was becoming bitterly cold here in West Texas. As a matter of fact it was only 7 degrees last night, a drop of 80 degrees over a day or so ago. As I was outside preparing for the major drop in temperature I saw a Mockingbird on the front porch, all fluffed up and just sitting on the concrete. As I walked up to it, it wouldn’t fly, just sat and looked at me and hopped toward the door as if it wanted to come in the house. Of course, I thought that it was injured and reached to pick it up. As I would do this, it would hop, not fly, just an inch or two out of my reach. With all the cats that we have, I really became concerned and spent almost 30 minutes trying to catch this little stinker, each time I would reach for it, it would hop just and inch or two further away.

Eventually it hopped to my vehicle in the driveway and sat just behind the tire. As I lay down to reach for it, it again hopped up as if trying to get on top of the axle and I never saw it again. I crawled all over the undercarriage of the vehicle, searched high and low, and no Mockingbird. Again, with all the cats that we have, I really became concerned about this little bird, especially since it was a Mockingbird. I searched for it until dark. I actually had a hard time sleeping worrying about this little bird, so first thing this morning at sun up, there I was getting dressed to go out and find this bird before a cat. I couldn’t find it.

Since I was up and about, I thought that I would make sure all our animals had water, since everything was frozen. The first thing that I did, was carry a bucket of warm water out to the bird’s water fountain. As I poured the water into the fountain, a lone Mockingbird flew right up, landed directly in front of me, and drank the water as I poured it out of the bucket. I even reached down and stroked its little back and talked to it as it drank. Then as if to show me that it was alright, after a few minutes it took to flight, having no problems at all. In a few minutes it returned, with 8 other Mockingbirds, all landing on the fountain, enjoying the warm water.

God is Good. Someday we will get to bask in his sunlight, holding Cheyenne’s hand, and meeting all these children whom we have come to know and love that entered Heaven way before their time. Thank you Lord for the signs that keep us going each day and thank you for taking care of our baby until we can arrive to hold her.

Cheyenne, WE LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK, OODLES AND OODLES, A BILLION TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Cheyenne’s Very Proud Daddy

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UPDATE December 06, 2005

Tonight we attended the Compassionate Friends Christmas Memorial Candle Lighting Service and lit a candle to celebrate Cheyenne's life here on earth.

The Annual Worldwide Candle Lighting is scheduled for Sunday, December 11th, 2005 at 7pm. There will be hundreds of community candle lighting ceremonies held across the world and thousands of individual ones. By doing this there will be a 24 hour period of candles burning across the globe for all the children that have proceeded us. If you have an opportunity, please consider lighting a candle for all the wonderful children, including Cheyenne. Thank you and God Bless.

Cheyenne's Dad

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Donna and I spent the last few days in a total Cheyenne element. We had the distinct honor and privilege of being invited to represent Cheyenne at the 11th Annual Tang Soo Do Karate Association World Black Belt Conference in San Antonio, TX. This organization is sooo wonderful to our entire family. As I have said so many times, the TKA, their students, their Black Belts, and their schools are our family. Cheyenne’s and Diana’s Martial Arts Academies in San Angelo, are of course, part of the TKA. In today’s world, it is almost unheard of to find a group of people of this high a caliber, so caring, generous, and sincere.

We were able to see many of Cheyenne’s mentors, all the Black Belts from the various schools, so many of the students, many of which Cheyenne spent hours with at all the tournaments. They were true friends and excellent role models for our Cheyenne.

At the Conference each year they also test the Black Belt candidates, many of which this year were Cheyenne’s friends. During the test I can not tell you how wonderful it made us feel to see some of the students proudly wearing their blue Cheyenne bracelets. Then at one point, as some students were removing the bracelets to perform for the board, I heard an announcement over the loud speaker saying that they did not have to remove the bracelets, they were part of the accepted uniform!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really can’t explain it, but just seeing those bracelets being worn gives Donna and I a big boost. Knowing that our stinker touched someone’s life and that they think enough of her to wear them gives us a warm feeling and brings on a smile. I wish we had a thousand more to hand out!!!!!!!!!!!

At the conference this year we were approached by 3 different people, telling us how Cheyenne had inspired them, influenced them and changed their lives, all for the better. Then after the candidates had received their Black Belts, a fourth person, one of Cheyenne’s friends and co-students from the MAA, publicly thanked Cheyenne for inspiring her to do her best. These are some of the things that we hold on to, that make us feel good, that get us from day to day…

Also at this year’s conference there was a table set up with a photo of Cheyenne and the late Grand Master James Cummings, Jr. as well as a memorial song played for each. I know that a few at the conference probably saw the tears that Donna and I shed, but please know, they were good tears. We have learned that in our new life without our girl, everything comes with a price. Those things which we cherish, the wonderful memories, knowing how much someone cares about our little stink, all those things, make us feel WONDERFUL, but then of course comes the realization that those things are no more, then the tears come. But again, these are good tears. Thank you for remembering our family, and for remembering our girl, Cheyenne!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that she was there with us the entire time!!

At one point in the award ceremony I know Cheyenne was smiling from ear to ear!!! Her Big Sis, Diana, was awarded the TKA MAA Student of the Year Award!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!! Since Diana couldn’t attend the conference with us this year, I proudly accepted it for her. And speaking of Diana, if the chips fall just right, and Diana’s Martial Arts studies continue, just maybe next year she will be at the Conference testing for her Black Belt!!! Diana is becoming one heck of a Martial Artist, as well as one heck of a young lady. We are sooooooooo proud of her and her accomplishments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO DIANA!!!!

I am sure I mentioned it before, but it deserves repeating. Grand Master James Cummings, Jr., the founder of the American Tang Soo Do Karate Association, was such a wonderful Martial Artist and completely wonderful person. Cheyenne was in AWE of Grand Master Cummings!!!! He was such a nice, caring, generous, down to earth gentleman. On occasion, when Grand Master Cummings was in town, Cheyenne loved to talk to him and from the look on Grand Master Cummings face, he loved to talk to Cheyenne. We last saw Grand Master Cummings 4 days before he passed away. He came to the Do Jang in San Antonio where Cheyenne and Diana were temporarily training. Cheyenne put on an exhibition match for him against a couple of Black Belts. Cheyenne was sooooooo proud!!!! A few days after the passing of Grand Master Cummings, Cheyenne was diagnosed. There is not a doubt in my mind that Grand Master Cummings was one of those that met Cheyenne and they probably have a tremendous Do Jang set up in Heaven. I have been giving it some thought, when I arrive I am going to ask Cheyenne to train me!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers, cards, letters, guestbook entries, and lately, memorials donated in Cheyenne’s name. Just today in the mail we received 5 beautiful cards thinking of us and 8 notices of memorials made to the Shannon Medical Center’s Children’s Miracle Network in Cheyenne’s name. It really, really helps us get through the days knowing that there are sooo many who remember our girl and honor her memory in soooo many different ways.

If you get an opportunity, please visit Taj Brown’s caringbridge site and let her know that you care. She is a wonderful person that supported so many children, while herself fighting cancer. Taj is a mom to 7 children.. Her website is http://www3.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown/ . Thank you

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Chey Chey,

Sure missed you on the trip to and from San Antonio. We used to have some fun on those trips, Huh??? Also what do you think about the stuffed animal I won??? Bet you were there helping me because I know I couldn’t have done it myself!!!!! We love you girl, more and more each day. Save us a spot and we will see you when it’s time. Love you to the moon and back a billion times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is http://www.braintrust.org/audrey. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella December Featured Friends

Alex (5) He likes Star Wars, Darth Vadar, cars and trucks, Thomas Tank Engine

Sammi (12) She likes blue, gerbils, bowling, dolls, reading, writing, and
helping sick kids

Miriam (18) She likes blue and pink, orca whales, The Beatles, game shows

Thomas (9) He likes red, cats, basketball, swimming, board games,
superhero action figures

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/audrey

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/audrey.
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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Sunday, December 4, 2005 6:05 PM CST

UPDATE Dec 06, 2005

Tonight we attended the Compassionate Friends Christmas Memorial Candle Lighting Service and lit a candle to celebrate Cheyenne's life here on earth.

The Annual Worldwide Candle Lighting is scheduled for Sunday, December 11th, 2005 at 7pm. There will be hundreds of community candle lighting ceremonies held across the world and thousands of individual ones. By doing this there will be a 24 hour period of candles burning across the globe for all the children that have proceeded us. If you have an opportunity, please consider lighting a candle for all the wonderful children, including Cheyenne. Thank you and God Bless.

Cheyenne's Dad

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Donna and I spent the last few days in a total Cheyenne element. We had the distinct honor and privilege of being invited to represent Cheyenne at the 11th Annual Tang Soo Do Karate Association World Black Belt Conference in San Antonio, TX. This organization is sooo wonderful to our entire family. As I have said so many times, the TKA, their students, their Black Belts, and their schools are our family. Cheyenne’s and Diana’s Martial Arts Academies in San Angelo, are of course, part of the TKA. In today’s world, it is almost unheard of to find a group of people of this high a caliber, so caring, generous, and sincere.

We were able to see many of Cheyenne’s mentors, all the Black Belts from the various schools, so many of the students, many of which Cheyenne spent hours with at all the tournaments. They were true friends and excellent role models for our Cheyenne.

At the Conference each year they also test the Black Belt candidates, many of which this year were Cheyenne’s friends. During the test I can not tell you how wonderful it made us feel to see some of the students proudly wearing their blue Cheyenne bracelets. Then at one point, as some students were removing the bracelets to perform for the board, I heard an announcement over the loud speaker saying that they did not have to remove the bracelets, they were part of the accepted uniform!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really can’t explain it, but just seeing those bracelets being worn gives Donna and I a big boost. Knowing that our stinker touched someone’s life and that they think enough of her to wear them gives us a warm feeling and brings on a smile. I wish we had a thousand more to hand out!!!!!!!!!!!

At the conference this year we were approached by 3 different people, telling us how Cheyenne had inspired them, influenced them and changed their lives, all for the better. Then after the candidates had received their Black Belts, a fourth person, one of Cheyenne’s friends and co-students from the MAA, publicly thanked Cheyenne for inspiring her to do her best. These are some of the things that we hold on to, that make us feel good, that get us from day to day…

Also at this year’s conference there was a table set up with a photo of Cheyenne and the late Grand Master James Cummings, Jr. as well as a memorial song played for each. I know that a few at the conference probably saw the tears that Donna and I shed, but please know, they were good tears. We have learned that in our new life without our girl, everything comes with a price. Those things which we cherish, the wonderful memories, knowing how much someone cares about our little stink, all those things, make us feel WONDERFUL, but then of course comes the realization that those things are no more, then the tears come. But again, these are good tears. Thank you for remembering our family, and for remembering our girl, Cheyenne!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that she was there with us the entire time!!

At one point in the award ceremony I know Cheyenne was smiling from ear to ear!!! Her Big Sis, Diana, was awarded the TKA MAA Student of the Year Award!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!! Since Diana couldn’t attend the conference with us this year, I proudly accepted it for her. And speaking of Diana, if the chips fall just right, and Diana’s Martial Arts studies continue, just maybe next year she will be at the Conference testing for her Black Belt!!! Diana is becoming one heck of a Martial Artist, as well as one heck of a young lady. We are sooooooooo proud of her and her accomplishments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO DIANA!!!!

I am sure I mentioned it before, but it deserves repeating. Grand Master James Cummings, Jr., the founder of the American Tang Soo Do Karate Association, was such a wonderful Martial Artist and completely wonderful person. Cheyenne was in AWE of Grand Master Cummings!!!! He was such a nice, caring, generous, down to earth gentleman. On occasion, when Grand Master Cummings was in town, Cheyenne loved to talk to him and from the look on Grand Master Cummings face, he loved to talk to Cheyenne. We last saw Grand Master Cummings 4 days before he passed away. He came to the Do Jang in San Antonio where Cheyenne and Diana were temporarily training. Cheyenne put on an exhibition match for him against a couple of Black Belts. Cheyenne was sooooooo proud!!!! A few days after the passing of Grand Master Cummings, Cheyenne was diagnosed. There is not a doubt in my mind that Grand Master Cummings was one of those that met Cheyenne and they probably have a tremendous Do Jang set up in Heaven. I have been giving it some thought, when I arrive I am going to ask Cheyenne to train me!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers, cards, letters, guestbook entries, and lately, memorials donated in Cheyenne’s name. Just today in the mail we received 5 beautiful cards thinking of us and 8 notices of memorials made to the Shannon Medical Center’s Children’s Miracle Network in Cheyenne’s name. It really, really helps us get through the days knowing that there are sooo many who remember our girl and honor her memory in soooo many different ways.

If you get an opportunity, please visit Taj Brown’s caringbridge site and let her know that you care. She is a wonderful person that supported so many children, while herself fighting cancer. Taj is a mom to 7 children.. Her website is http://www3.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown/ . Thank you

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Chey Chey,

Sure missed you on the trip to and from San Antonio. We used to have some fun on those trips, Huh??? Also what do you think about the stuffed animal I won??? Bet you were there helping me because I know I couldn’t have done it myself!!!!! We love you girl, more and more each day. Save us a spot and we will see you when it’s time. Love you to the moon and back a billion times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella December Featured Friends

Alex (5) He likes Star Wars, Darth Vadar, cars and trucks, Thomas Tank Engine

Sammi (12) She likes blue, gerbils, bowling, dolls, reading, writing, and
helping sick kids

Miriam (18) She likes blue and pink, orca whales, The Beatles, game shows

Thomas (9) He likes red, cats, basketball, swimming, board games,
superhero action figures

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Monday, November 21, 2005 6:56 PM CST

Taj Brown, one of ours and Cheyenne's longtime supporters, just received the news that her cancer has not slowed and is growing even more rapidly. If you get a chance, please say a prayer for this wonderful person, wife, and mom of 7 children. During all of her horrible treatments and sickness, she has been there for soooo many of our friends. Her website is http://www3.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown/ . Thank you

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Our girl Cheyenne was such a young lady, but she still had quite a bit of that little girl in her. This time of year was one of her favorites to spend outside, running, playing, and chumming around with her dear old dad.

Earlier today I was walking around in the pasture, looking at all the new little lambs jumping, running, and playing, and thinking how much Cheyenne enjoyed watching them and holding them.

As I often do, I began talking to Cheyenne, telling her how much I love her, miss her and wish I could just sit down and talk to her. As I was doing this I remembered that Cheyenne had a “secret place” in the pasture that she had shown me. I told Cheyenne that I was going there and if she could, meet me there.

This “secret place” is a group of bushes and trees that almost forms a cave looking structure. It has an entrance and 4 walls of trees and bushes, and even has a partial roof of leaves. It was special to Cheyenne!

As I walked to Cheyenne’s place, I continued talking to my baby, just as if she were there with me. I told her that if she could meet me there, I would just sit and talk to her.

As I arrived at “her place”, bent over and went inside, there, right in the middle of the floor, perched on a rock as if waiting for me, was a lone Mockingbird!!!!!!!

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Thank you for all the prayers for my Dad. He has again been released from the hospital and is home. The Doctors hope that they can control his problem without surgery, and are trying medication.

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Hey Stinker,

Gosh we have been missing you more and more. Every day is sure hard. Come see me tonight in my dreams, OK. I love you sweetheart, Forever and Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miss you and love you to the moon and back, a billion times!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of November the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella November Featured Friends

Austin (4) He likes the color green, camals, basketball, golf, books and
Playstation.

Tyler (17) He likes the color blue, dogs, rock, hunting, Nascar, and
collects basketball and football cards.

Beth (13) She likes orange and pink, cats and dogs, English horseback
jumping, scrapbooking and stickers, and teen magazines.

Victoria () She is not doing well, and hospice has been called in.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Tuesday, November 15, 2005 6:47 PM CST

UPDATE 11-18-05 Friday

I am a little behind in responding to a few emails and calls lately, but please bear with me. My Dad was re-admitted to the hospital and I have been spending a lot of time there. The current diagnosis for my Dad is congestive heart failure. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

God Bless

Cheyenne's Dad

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I just noticed that sometime tonight or tomorrow Cheyenne’s site will have a million visits. That is a pretty awesome testimonial about our sweet girl, and her wonderful, wonderful friends and supporters. Words aren’t enough to thank everyone for all the support Cheyenne received and for all the continuing support our family receives as we attempt to live our lives without Cheyenne’s physical presence. Your prayers, thoughts, words and deeds truly make us feel blessed. Thank you!!

I am sure that I have mentioned the fact that Cheyenne wanted to become a Medical Doctor when she grew up. She had hoped to become a Cardiologist. Well, it appears as if our baby changed her mind.

Last week little Bethany Wheeler became very sick, was rushed to the ER and admitted for emergency surgery to remove her appendix. Bethany was very, very, very special to Cheyenne. I still smile when I remember how Cheyenne would hug her and talk to her. Cheyenne truly loved Bethany!!

While Bethany was in the Hospital and in surgery we were certain that our Miss Cheyenne was there holding Bethany’s hand and keeping her safe.

Today Bethany’s mom told us that, Yes, Cheyenne was there!!!!! Tuesday night, as Bethany was recovering from surgery, Sherry dozed off. During her very short sleep she had one of those very realistic dreams, from Cheyenne, letting her know that everything was going to be alright. There was our Cheyenne, sitting on the foot of Bethany’s bed rubbing her legs, and telling her mom that she was going to be alright. Cheyenne was dressed in a white Medical uniform with her name and Shannon Pediatric Surgery printed on the uniform. Before she left she made a point of asking Sherry to be sure and let old mom and dad know that she was now a Doctor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cheyenne always loved children. She would have made a GREAT mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of her being a GREAT mom, between her and me, we sure spoiled her little Cinnamon Sugar. It would not surprise me if there were not another puppy in the world treated as Cinnamon is treated. Cinnamon literally attempts to stay within inches of me every second of the day, no matter what I am doing. But that’s Ok with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha!!!

Yesterday on one of our trips to Lawnhaven Cemetery, of course Cinnamon came with me. While we are there she generally just lays on Cheyenne’s grave. She seems to miss Cheyenne as much as we do. And I think I mentioned it before, Cinnamon KNOWS that that is her Mommie’s place and is very protective of it. As we arrived yesterday, there was another funeral not far away, so I made a point of putting a leash on Cinnamon as well as hold her. As the funeral was letting up, a family was walking to their car which was behind us. For whatever reason, as the family began to walk beside us, they turned and walked right over Cheyenne’s grave, in the few feet space between where we were sitting and the headstone. Yes it upset me horribly, but I didn’t say a word. But little Cinnamon Sugar is another matter. If I had not been holding her, I believe she would have taken their legs off!!!!! The lady looked over at us and said, “That is a Mean Dog”!!!!!!!!!!! Cinnamon a mean dog!!!! Cinnamon is the sweetest, most loving and social little puppy in the world. But there are a few things in which she draws the line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am glad Cinnamon put my thoughts into her words!!!!!!!!!!!!

In a few weeks we will be going to San Antonio to represent Cheyenne at the Tang Soo Do World Black Belt Conference. It was so thoughtful for us to be invited and an honor and privilege for us to represent our baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The TKA Martial Arts community has really become our extended family. They were ALWAYS there for Cheyenne and now they are ALWAYS there for us.

Donna and I continue to stay busy. It seems as if the busier you stay, the less amount of time your mind can wander to those places that you really don’t want to go.

Now that winter is almost here, I am planning more construction projects for Cheyenne’s garden. I haven’t even finished all the construction relating to the new addition, and I am planning other things……. Besides the SEVERAL trees and bushes we are going to plant (we are going to plant trees and bushes in honor and memory of several of our Angel friends) I am in the planning stages of building a waterfall. I have never built one, but I am willing to give it a try. It will go good with Cheyenne’s garden!!!!

Again, thank you for all the prayers for all of us and our family. My dad is doing a little better, but is still very sick. He has viral pneumonia as well as a problem with his heart. I understand that his heart is not beating as it should, and even stops on occasion, and then starts beating unevenly. We are praying that his Doctors can properly diagnose his problems and find a way to help.

Again, thank you all and God Bless.

By the way, if you happen to be number 1,000,000 and you notice, let me know!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheyenne’s Dad

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Hey Sweetheart,

Thanks for being there for little Bethy and for Grandpa. You are such a special young lady. You know that we miss you every second of every day, more and more each day. We love you to the moon and back, a million times. Come visit when you can.

Love you, love you, love you.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of November the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella November Featured Friends

Austin (4) He likes the color green, camals, basketball, golf, books and
Playstation.

Tyler (17) He likes the color blue, dogs, rock, hunting, Nascar, and
collects basketball and football cards.

Beth (13) She likes orange and pink, cats and dogs, English horseback
jumping, scrapbooking and stickers, and teen magazines.

Victoria () She is not doing well, and hospice has been called in.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Saturday, November 5, 2005 7:21 PM CST

UPDATE November 08, 2005

I understand that little Jacob really needs prayers tonight. The poor little boy has been through so much and is having a really hard time the last few days. http://www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jacob/

Also, one of our very, very dear friends, Little Bethany Wheeler is in need of prayers tonight. She was taken to the ER earlier today and had emergency surgery this evening to remove her appendix. When we left them tonight she was resting at Shannon Hospital. Little Behany, 4 years old, is the sweetest little girl in the world, and gosh was she loved by Cheyenne!!!!!!!!! There isn't a doubt in my mind that Cheyenne is with Bethany tonight, holding her hand..

Also thank you so much for all the prayers for my Dad. He was released from the Hospital and is now resting at home.

-----------------------------------

Again, I apologize for the length of time between updates. There are times that updating is difficult and emotional, so we just seem to put it off, and before long, a week or so has passed.

We have been without our girl, Cheyenne, for over a year. In some ways it seems as though it has only been days, but then in other ways it seems as if it has been forever. We miss her so, so, very much. I honestly didn’t even realize that one could miss someone so very much.

Over the past few weeks Cheyenne and family were remembered by some very good friends. Almost everyday that we would visit Lawnhaven Cemetery there would be something new. After Halloween passed, Miss Cheyenne had pumpkins and more pumpkins at Lawnhaven. Yellow ones, green ones, painted ones, one that would light up!!!!! Also there were flowers for our pumpkin and flowers for mom and dad. Then of course there were the many, many guestbook entries, cards, letters, emails, visits and phone calls. Thank you to everyone for remembering and for all the kind gestures and words.

When Donna and I find something new at Lawnhaven it makes us smile. Someone cared enough for our little stink to bring her something.

Speaking of making us smile!!!! It is again basketball season for the ASU Rams and Rambelles.

Of course the Rambelles have been sooo good to Cheyenne and now us. Cheyenne absolutely loved the Rambelles and said that of all the schools in the world, she wanted to attend ASU and play basketball for the Rambelles. We have been attending a few scrimmages and those girls are soooo nice to us. Also on each trip to the sports complex we are able to visit Cheyenne’s beautiful bench, right there at the beginning of the Walk of Honor. WOW!!!! I hope that those girls know how special they made Cheyenne feel when they inducted her into the team and showed her around. They were her heros!!!!!! I am going to make a point of letting them know how special that they are!!!!

Also this year, the Rams are stealing our hearts. Every player, including Coach Joe Esposito, is wearing a blue Cheyenne bracelet for the season. It sure does us good to see all those fine young men sporting those bracelets. Diana said that she even sees them around campus during class. I also understand that Coach Joe has a photo of he and Cheyenne proudly displayed on his desk!!!! Again, I have to make a point of letting them all know how good this makes us feel and how special that they are.

Our little girl lives on in the hearts and memories of so, so many. Thank you!!!

Donna and I have again been spending quite a bit of time at Shannon Hospital. Friday morning my dad was taken to the Emergency Room for pains in his chest and shortness of breath and was admitted. As of tonight, the Drs are thinking that it may just be a virus rather than his heart, and/or pneumonia that they originally thought….

Again, thank you to everyone for all the prayers, thoughts and words. They help us get through the day. Hopefully I won’t be so long between updates next time.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey Sweetheart,

I told Grandpa that you made a point of letting us know that you were going to the hospital with us, so you were there with him. He sure does love you and miss you.. Hold him tight, OK..

We miss you sooooooooooooooooooooooo much pumpkin. Can’t wait to see you again and can’t wait to find out what you and all your friends have been up to. Don’t have too much fun without us, OK>>

Love you forever and ever

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of November the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella November Featured Friends

Austin (4) He likes the color green, camals, basketball, golf, books and
Playstation.

Tyler (17) He likes the color blue, dogs, rock, hunting, Nascar, and
collects basketball and football cards.

Beth (13) She likes orange and pink, cats and dogs, English horseback
jumping, scrapbooking and stickers, and teen magazines.

Victoria () She is not doing well, and hospice has been called in.

audreysumbrella@braintrust.org

Audrey's Umbrella - The Healing Exchange Mail Program is designed to
support people living with a brain tumor, by sending cheerful and
encouraging mail.

Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm

1 877 252-8480

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Thursday, October 20, 2005 2:41 PM CDT

Hey Pumpkin,

Miss you, miss you, miss you!!!!! Be with us today, OK? Love you, Love you, Love you!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO a million times.

Mommy and Daddy

******************************

The CHILDHOOD CANCER RECOGNITION CALENDARS are here and ready to be ordered!!!!!! Our Miss Cheyenne is, of course, September, for her birthday month. If you are not already aware, all the money raised from the sale of the calendars help purchase gifts for children fighting cancer. A very, very worthy cause, putting a smile on a sick child’s face!!! The calendars can be viewed and purchased at the following link address:
http://www.cafepress.com/cancerfighter.29257429 .

***************************

The other day I discovered 2 pieces of paper written by Cheyenne. They made me smile at my little Stink.

We had never had cable or satellite television at home. When we were on the road so much, staying in the apartment, Ronald McDonald Houses, and hotels, they of course had many more channels than our 3 at home. Cheyenne really enjoyed watching certain television shows and channels. So when we finally made it back home to live, I ordered Dish Network for the home. The 2 pieces of paper I found must have been written by Cheyenne just after we started receiving Dish. There were 2 full sheets of paper, broken down into 30 minute intervals, from 7am until 11pm each day. Beside each was the name of the television show that Cheyenne wanted to watch, and little notations out to the right of each. What made me smile was that out of the 16 hours listed, there was one 30 minute segment that she had notated, “Mom and Dad can watch anything that they want to!” Then there was another 30 minute segment where she had notated, “Nothing to do!”.

Can you imagine the research that she had to do to make up that list? Then, there was the little comment giving us a chance to watch “anything that we wanted to”, even if for only 30 minutes. The little stink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The television is still programmed for all her favorite shows.

We have lived for almost a year without the physical presence of our baby. That has been and continues to be the most horrible existence imaginable. I have said it before, and I see it over and over again on our friend’s sites. One thinks that they can imagine the pain, grief and utter sadness when someone loses a child. Then when it becomes reality, it is a million times more painful than you could even imagine earlier. And the pain continues second to second, minute to minute, day to day. It can’t get “better”, unless God decides to send our baby back.

I know that people expect parents that lose their children to get over it, or at least get “better” with time. Many even express that it does get better with time. But I think that I have come to the conclusion that it does not get “better” with time, a person only gets “better” at concealing their true feelings and emotions. Better at lying to their friends and family, telling them that they are ‘OK”.

On October 30th of last year, when God called Cheyenne home, a huge part of who Donna and I are, died. That part is gone, never to return. I believe it was Julie, Maddie’s wonderful mom, who expressed it best several months ago. It does not mean that we can never smile again, have fun again, love again. But it does mean that the extent and depth of all of those feelings have changed. The smiles, fun, and love will never be what it was when our baby was here with us.

Someday, thanks to our wonderful God, we will get to be with Cheyenne again, then someday, our entire family will be once again reunited, together forever, no pain, no cancer, no sickness, everything perfect. That will be a wonderous day. Just the thought gives me some peace and a little smile.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey Punky Little,

Gosh we miss you pumpkin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I guess you know that. We have felt you with us a bunch lately, but you know how selfish we are, it isn’t enough. We always want more, huh?????? At least when it comes to you, anyway!!!!! Hug your friends for us.

A million zillion hugs and kisses from Mommy and Daddy, and of course your sweet little Cinnamon Sugar. Speaking of which, did you see what she did to me the other day?????? Spoiled little stinker, huh????

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

We love you and miss you to the moon and back, sweetheart.

Mommy and Daddy

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of October, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella October Featured Friends

Grace, age 21 months, likes yellow and pink, dogs, cats, & bunnies. She
loves playing outside and going for walks.

Dave, age 13, likes blue, crocodiles, skateboarding, music and movies.

Chance, age 15, likes blue, dogs, basketball, Nascar and skateboarding.

Edith, age 79, likes pink, dogs, and colorful flowers

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Friday, October 7, 2005 10:03 PM CDT

The CHILDHOOD CANCER RECOGNITION CALENDARS are here and ready to be ordered!!!!!! Our Miss Cheyenne is, of course, September, for her birthday month. If you are not already aware, all the money raised from the sale of the calendars help purchase gifts for children fighting cancer. A very, very worthy cause, putting a smile on a sick child’s face!!! The calendars can be viewed and purchased at the following link address:
http://www.cafepress.com/cancerfighter.29257429 .

Also, I recently received an email from a gentleman named Matthew of The Vista Foundation, established to support children and their families as they battle cancer. Matthew is looking for children that would like to be featured on their website and for children in need of prayer. The Vista Foundation’s website is http://users.cableaz.com/~vista/ . To have a child referred as a monthly featured child, an application form can be found at http://users.cableaz.com/~vista/Feature_your_child.html . If there are any questions regarding the Foundation, Matthew has his email address listed on the Foundation’s Home page.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><<><>

Diana has now officially moved home. It is sooooo nice having her here again. Between school and work, we still don’t see much of her, but much more than before. And, with Diana, we have two more houseguests. Diana’s two little babies, Tander the cat, and Bosley the teeney tiny puppy.

Cheyenne’s Cinnamon Sugar doesn’t know what to think of this situation yet, but they are getting along fairly well. I believe the problem will be Cinnamon sharing me. She is rather possessive of me, to say the least. Since Cheyenne went to Heaven and Cinnamon chose me as her constant companion, she does not care for me giving other animals attention!!!!! Especially another dog!!!

Although Diana is now living at home, the remodeling at our house is far from complete. Right now poor Diana is trying to live in a partially completed addition with no interior doors. Hopefully the interior will be completed soon and I can go to work on the exterior as far as fencing and landscaping. We all knew that Diana had to be out of the apartment by the 1st, but unfortunately, several things were backordered (doors) and not yet in.

The over 100 degree heat finally appears to be gone for the year. We actually had days over 107 last week, setting records several days in a row. The now cool weather gives us more opportunity to spend time in Cheyenne’s garden, feeling closer to her.

Starting the day after Cheyenne’s birthday, it seems as if Cheyenne’s Mockingbird brought its entire family and all of its friends to visit. Almost everytime one of us goes outside, first comes Cheyenne’s Mockingbird, then a few seconds later another. Then over the next few minutes a total of 8 Mockingbirds gather around the garden and water fountain visiting with us, cutting up and playing. Also as I work outside during the day, Cheyenne’s Mockingbird basically follows Cinnamon and me around, flying from tree to tree, singing its beautiful songs.

Then there are all the butterflies in the garden. They are so beautiful. A few days ago thousands and thousands of Monarch butterflies traveled through West Texas on their annual migration south. We had our share in Cheyenne’s garden. On one day, my mother called to say that a huge tree in their yard was completely covered with them, thousands on that tree alone. It also seems as though a few have decided to hang around Cheyenne’s garden for awhile, along with all the other butterflies that have made it their home.

I am not sure if I ever mentioned one gift that we received several months ago. We were sent a Butterfly Bush in the mail. When I opened it, the poor little sprig of a bush was so tiny. We found a perfect place for it in the yard, near Cheyenne’s garden, nurtured it, and it is now our pride and joy. It is sooooo beautiful, and it really attracts the butterflies and hummingbirds. This little bush compliments the garden beautifully.

Donna and I continue to work and stay busy, and are missing Cheyenne horribly. Since her birthday celebration, we have been blessed with several signs that she is still around, watching over and waiting for us. God is helping us get through the days, as difficult as it is, awaiting the day that our family will be together again, forever.

Thank you for all the prayers, thoughts, cards, and guestbook entries. As they say, God provides, and in our case he has provided all of you wonderful people to help us get through the minutes and days. May God Bless each of you!!! Thank you!!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Punky Little,

You have made me smile more lately than I have in a long, long time. I love you to the moon and back, a million zillion times. Bet you and your friends are having fun showing Haley around, and listening to her wonderful voice, huh?????

Hugs, hugs, hugs, and a million kisses from Mommy and me (and of course your Cinnamon Sugar!!!)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Daddy

Friday, September 23, 2005 0:00 AM CDT

UPDATE Oct 2, 2005

I just learned that our very, very dear caringbridge friend, Haley Vincent ( http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/haley/index.htm ) has joined the long list of wonderful children in Heaven. Cheyenne thought Haley was the coolest young lady, and what a voice. We will cherish her audio CD's forever. Please remember the family in your prayers along with all the other families whose children have preceded them to Heaven and all those families fighting the horrible sickness they call cancer. Thank you

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UPDATE 9/28/05

The celebration of Cheyenne’s birthday earlier in the week was beautiful. Of course, the past few weeks have been and still is really emotional for us, but seeing all the love for Cheyenne and our entire family from all our friends, both here and through Caringbridge, helped immensely. Thank you so much for your caring!!!!

I am going to attempt to relay the events of the past few days, so please forgive me if I inadvertently leave something or someone out. As I mentioned, our emotions have been running a little rampant and as the days grew nearer to our baby’s birthday, our missing her increased a thousandfold.

On the day prior to and on Cheyenne’s birthday, it seemed as though every hour or so a friend would surprise us with a wonderful gift for Cheyenne and the family. Our dear friend Pam Carman sent us a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Of course Mr. Wayne Gordon sent the beautiful photo collage of Cheyenne. And then there is the billboard arranged by James Boluginy (WOW!). The Wheeler family not only delivered flowers to the house, but left some very precious gifts at Lawnhaven for Cheyenne and our family. Then there were all the emails, cards and letters (Audrey’s Umbrella out did themselves here!!!!) guestbook entries, and phone calls. Also several gifts and flowers from people who apparently chose to remain anonymous (like the flowers at Cheyenne’s billboard).

And it does not stop there. Cheyenne’s Coach Slate and her daughter Christene wracked their heads to come up with something special to honor our girl on her birthday. Today, as a result of their hard work and generosity, and the generosity of the ASU Rambelle Basketball team, Verizion (Accounts Payable), the Pink Panther’s Soccer Team (of which Coach Slate’s daughter Hanna and our little granddaughter McKayla is a part, as is McKayla’s Nona), and several others which I am probably temporarily forgetting, we delivered a carload of toys to the Shannon Hospital Children’s Unit. Coach Slate and Christene knew that Cheyenne loved children and would love to give them new toys. Now we are talking about having an annual birthday party/toy drive for Cheyenne, possibly even at the hospital.

On the 24th, as Cheyenne would want, more than 30 family members and friends met at Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant in San Angelo to celebrate her birthday. There was so much love in the room you could just feel it. At one point in the celebration Donna asked Sherry Wheeler to read a poem that she had written and had given us. It is just beautiful. Hopefully we will post it in a few days. One very, very cool thing happened as Sherry was reading the poem. Just outside the large windows, as if trying to hear the poem, a mockingbird constantly flew and hopped around, staring in the windows….

You may have noticed that I have not made much mention of the mockingbird in Cheyenne’s garden as of late. The truth of the matter is that about a month or so ago it just seemed to disappear. There were still mockingbirds near the house, but it was not the same. They weren’t Cheyenne’s mockingbird. Well, when we arrived home after the celebration on the 24th and seeing the mockingbird at the resaurant, Cheyenne’s mockingbird was back in the garden, following me around and chattering at me. Just as before, it stays either in the tree in the garden or on the water fountain, seemingly just waiting for me to come out of the house.

Also, our baby chose her birthday to let us know that she was still here with us and looking out for us. Gosh we love that little stink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will probably have to update again tomorrow, as soon as Donna reads this and reminds me of all the things that I overlooked or had forgotten.

Thank you all and God Bless each and every one of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Punky Little,

Guess you and all your friends got all those balloons that we sent us. Give them all a big hug from us. We miss you sweetheart, more than anything in the whole wide world. Cinnie Minnie sends her love and a thousand licks. Hope we haven’t spoiled her too bad. Did you see her riding the go kart, it was like old times for her!!!!!! Thanks for letting me and mom know that you are still here watching over us. We love you a million kajillion !!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Mommy and Daddy

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!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEYENNE !!!!!!!!!!

On this day at 6:06pm, 14 years ago, you entered our lives, forever and ever!!!!!! Your life began as a beautiful baby, became our little stinker, and then a beautiful, wonderful, caring young lady. Your true love, caring and devotion for God, family, friends, and those that you did not even know touched so many so deeply, we could not in a million years be more proud of you! Our lives and the lives of those you touched will never be the same. In your own way, in true Cheyenne fashion, you made this world a better place. The days are unbelievably hard without your physical presence. The minutes and days are a struggle; we miss you, oh so much. In God’s own time we will be together again, and what a wonderful, joyous day it will be!!!!!!!!!!!! We are counting the days, sweetheart, each sunset a day closer to being together. Save a few of those famous hugs for me and mom, OK!

While you and all your friends are celebrating your birthday today in Heaven, think of us, but most of all, have lots and lots of fun. Give all our friends great big hugs from us. Gosh you sure have a great bunch of friends in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can’t wait to meet them.

WE LOVE YOU

Mom and Dad

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Today we are celebrating Cheyenne’s birthday with the family, private reflections, thoughts, and most likely tears of joy for having her in our lives for over 13 years and tears of immense sadness for her not being physically with us today.

Tomorrow, as Cheyenne would want it, we have invited the family and some of Cheyenne’s dear friends and their families to Cheyenne’s favorite restaurant (Gil”s) here in San Angelo. Last year for her birthday, Cheyenne insisted on taking the entire family, her treat, to this same restaurant.

There are a thousand things that Donna and I would love to be able to give our girl for her birthday, but this year that was taken from us. So, again in Cheyenne fashion and to honor our girl, we plan to give gifts to some less fortunate children. That is what she would want and this is what she would do.

Also, as it has become our custom, on special days, we will be releasing balloons into the heavens, many with our private notes and thoughts to our baby.

James Bouligny, what a wonderful young man! James did it again!!!! On US 67 west of San Angelo, there is a huge billboard going up with Cheyenne’s photo, missing her and wishing her a Happy Birthday. We love you James!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!! I know that Cheyenne loves it too.

Also, last night, Thursday evening, just in time for Cheyenne’s birthday, we received a gift from a very special gentleman, Mr. Wayne Gordon of Tennessee. Mr. Gordon, touched by Cheyenne and several of Cheyenne’s caringbridge friends, was moved to put together an absolutely BEAUTIFUL photo collage of our precious girl. It is completely professionally done and framed in a beautiful frame. This wonderful gift could not have come at a better time and will be cherished as a family treasure forever. Thank you Mr. Gordon.!!!!!!

As soon as possible, I am sure Donna will post a photo of this beautiful collage and of James’ billboard. I will be taking the picture with us on Saturday to “show it off” at Cheyenne’s birthday celebration.

I noticed this morning, as I was working in Cheyenne’s garden, where there are normally 5 or 6 butterflies, there were almost a hundred. Every color, size, and shape. Even a single pure white one. The array of color from the butterflies is as beautiful as the flowers. I guess Cheyenne sent them to spruce up the garden!!!!

I want to personally thank all of you, from the bottom of our hearts, who help make our days easier. The thoughtful deeds, words, emails, guestbook entries, cards (and all those hugs from the Wheeler, Bouligny, and Slate families) help us be assured that our beautiful Cheyenne is not forgotten, she is loved and missed by many. That helps us get through the days. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

There seems to be many who seem to think it is better to forget, avoid the feelings, act as if Cheyenne were never here. Erase her from directories, and birthday lists. That hurts. For those (however I am sure that they most likely will never read this), don’t be afraid of talking to us about our baby. We love to hear her name and talk about her. She is our baby forever, we still love her, she is still our daughter, and there is not a second of the day that she is not included in our thoughts. Cheyenne is forever part of our family and part of who we are and who we will continue to be.

Again, thank you for all the prayers and support. Although we most likely will not be affected by Hurricane Rita (we live in Central West Texas), there are millions who are, and our thoughts and prayers are with them as well as all those families trying to live life without their children and all those suffering from this cruel beast of cancer.

Cheyenne’s VERY Proud Daddy, Forever and Ever

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella September Featured Friends

Jake (4) likes trains, elephants, books, and Sesame Street

Drew (5) likes baseball, lions, puzzles, & coloring.

Willy (23) likes diecast cars, his dachshund, & Nascar

Sherry (60) likes birds, reading, art, travel, & spoiling her grandchildren

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Monday, September 5, 2005 10:01 PM CDT

I have started to update several times in the past week or so, but just didn’t have it in me.

Our baby’s birthday is coming up on the 23rd. Donna and I know that we want to do something special, but haven’t made a decision yet on exactly what. We have talked about a few things that involve several other people, but I am not sure how I could handle a crowd that day. But one thing for certain, I want it to be a special celebration. Cheyenne would be 14! 14!! Wow.

Like probably everyone else in the world, we have been reading a lot about the horrible suffering along the Gulf Coast. There are so, so many people hurting. Wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better. But if that were the case, Cheyenne would be here with us.

A few days ago we received Cheyenne’s quilt from the Quilting Angels. It is so, so very beautiful. Then in the box with it was one of Cheyenne’s hand painted pictures that had been auctioned off for the Quilting Angels fundraiser last year. It was one of our favorites!! I had forgotten, but our very, very dear friend Maggi from San Antonio had become a Quilting Angel, helped put the quilt together, and apparently, had bought the painting. Thank you Maggi, from the bottom of our hearts.

Donna and I are still working every waking moment. The construction around the house is still ongoing, and is an unbelievable mess. Dust and dirt, hundreds of gallons of water when it rains, things sitting everywhere. This is our first experience at remodeling, and I would not recommend it to anyone!!!!!! Then on top of all those problems, the remodeling involves cleaning out one of Cheyenne’s bedrooms. That is unbelievably hard. I help a little, but have been leaving it to Donna when I can.

We have had a few smiles lately. Occasionally, when we visit Lawnhaven Cemetery, we find that a visitor has left Cheyenne a little something. Long stem roses, feather plumes, little stuffed animals, and of course, magic towels. (a magic towel is a cute little wash cloth, dehydrated and pressed into shape of some kind. When dropped into water they explode out to a usable wash cloth, normally with cute little pictures on them.) Cheyenne loved them, and James knew Cheyenne loved them!!!!!!! Finding these little things reminds us of how many people loved our little girl, and makes us feel good.

Hopefully I will feel like writing in the next few days.

God Bless you all,

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Sweetheart,

I have been feeling you around a lot lately, and you know that it helps. We need that. We love you and miss you soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much! When I lay in bed at night I try to think of all the things that you and your friends are dreaming up for us, bet there are some good ones, huh????? It is going to be soooo much fun when we are together again!!!!

Love you oodles and oodles, forever and ever, to the moon and back a thousand times.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella September Featured Friends

Jake (4) likes trains, elephants, books, and Sesame Street

Drew (5) likes baseball, lions, puzzles, & coloring.

Willy (23) likes diecast cars, his dachshund, & Nascar

Sherry (60) likes birds, reading, art, travel, & spoiling her grandchildren

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Monday, August 22, 2005 11:52 PM CDT

UPDATE August 26, 2005

Today another young man joined the wonderful group of children in Heaven. Please remember Jason Archer's family in your prayers. Jason's smile could light up the room.

Also there is another young boy named Jacob Duckworth from Florida that is not doing real well and is desperate need of prayers. Jacob has the brightest blue eyes in the world. As Cheyenne would say, he is really a cutie!!

UPDATE Wednesday August 24, 2005

I just learned that Cheyenne, Maddie, Troy, Connor and all the other wonderful children in Heaven have a new friend with them tonight. Jessie Hanson, the same age as Cheyenne, went to be with the Lord today. I am sure that she was met by all our babies and is being shown around and taken very good care of. Please remember Jessie's family during this very, very difficult time.

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A BIG THANK YOU for all the wonderful people who helped make this year’s Children’s Miracle Network Radiothon for the Shannon Hospital a BIG SUCCESS!!! This year the fantastic people of the Concho Valley gave over $152,000.00. What a way to start off the fundraising year for the CMN!!!! If I am not mistaken, this was around $60,000.00 more than last year!!!!

Unless you live under a rock without access to the radio, it was most likely impossible to not hear our pumpkin on the radio all day Friday and Saturday around San Angelo. She definitely did her part for the CMN, one of her most favorite charities in the world. She knew first hand what Shannon Hospital has to offer and how the CMN makes it all happen.

All day Friday various recordings of Cheyenne were played for the Radiothon on KIXY as well as the excerpts from her journal that we had recorded earlier. There is no doubt that there were plenty of tears shed across San Angelo and the KIXY listening area. We had the radio on at home all day, and of course pretty much shed tears all day.

On Saturday, Donna and I were at the Radiothon from 5pm to 7pm and on the radio a few times. Yes it was very hard, but for a cause as worthy as this and as important to Cheyenne as this, it was absolutely necessary. As I told Dr Schultz, the CEO at Shannon, the CMN at Shannon is extremely important to us and we hope that we can be part of their support group for a long time. Thanks to the CMN, they gave our girl Cheyenne back her life in San Angelo. No more living in hotels, Ronald McDonald Houses, away from friends and family, BUT at HOME!!!!

Donna and I had the last two hours of the Radiothon, and during that 2 hours around $50,000 or $60,000 was brought in. As a matter of fact, we left thinking that the total for the event was a little over $142,000, but was told this morning that the Los Lonely Boys (a wonderful band with roots in San Angelo) called in their $10,000 pledge. WOW, this group is not only talented, but very generous. They also gave $10,000 last year while we were on the radio.

In honor of our Pumpkin, who gave her entire life savings to the Radiothon last year, Donna and I have been saving all our change around the house. Everytime I put the change into the jar I would tell Cheyenne it was her money to be given to the CMN. So, this year AGAIN, Cheyenne was able to contribute financially to the cause, by giving $15 a month for 12 months, or $180.00.

As you can probably understand, Donna and I have been having some really rough days. Gosh we miss Cheyenne!!!! She was the light of our lives and living without her physical presence is almost too much to bear. Somehow, with God’s help, we are getting through the days, and with each day we are one day closer to being reunited with our girl for ETERNITY!!!!

I just know that Cheyenne and her friends are cooking up all kinds of things for all us mom’s and dad’s for the day that we arrive. In the meantime, who knows what they are up to. I bet Cheyenne, Connor, and Ryan are either go karting or 4 wheeling, then I can picture Maddie and Cheyenne running around like crazy surrounded by a hundred little children. These thoughts make me smile. There are sure some wonderful children in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hopefully it won’t be so long before the next update. However, we have been staying very, very busy and sometimes are only able to get on the computer late at night after a very long day.

Also, before I forget (which I have been doing for a couple of weeks), Haley’s cookbooks are ready. I have been forgetting to send our order off for a few, but will be doing it tomorrow or the next day. I know that 2 of Cheyenne’s recipes are in the book, her LOL Pancakes, and Cheyenne’s Favorite Meatloaf. They can be ordered from Haley’s site at http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/haley/ .

Thank you for all the prayers for our family, all the children, and all the families of the children. Your prayers help get us through the days and nights.

A few of our friends are really in need of specific prayers. Christy, Maxie’s mom, as she awaits a diagnosis (http://www3.caringbridge.org/va/maxie/index.htm ) , Melody’s family at the loss of her Uncle Bill in a vehicle accident ( http://www.ourmelody.net/ ), Patty, Chance's mom ( http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/chance/ ) and Taj Brown, a longtime Cheyenne supporter, now herself getting very bad news (http://www3.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown/ ).

Thank you and God Bless all of you.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey Sweetheart,

I have been feeling you around a lot lately, and you know that it helps. We need that. We love you and miss you soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much! When I lay in bed at night I try to think of all the things that you and your friends are dreaming up for us, bet there are some good ones, huh????? It is going to be soooo much fun when we are together again!!!!

Love you oodles and oodles, forever and ever, to the moon and back a thousand times.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of August, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella August Featured Friends

Alyssa (2) likes yellow, tabby cats, stickers, coloring, dance, jumping,
Christian music and collects Care Bears!

Janet (26) likes blue, dogs&cats, basketball, dance, freestyle and music
from the 60s. Janet likes to read, write, crochet, and she collects
cabbage patch dolls.

Ellis Mae (73) likes blue, beagles, books on tape, and she collects angels.

Bud (75) likes yellow, wolves, skiing, books on tape (new
age/metaphysical) and collects crystals.

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Sunday, August 14, 2005 9:11 PM CDT

School starts in a few days. The stores are filled with parents and their children picking out their school clothes and supplies. Oh, Cheyenne loved school, and loved shopping for her school supplies. Going into a store now brings so, so many memories. I only wish I could take my baby school shopping one more time!

Pretty soon the big yellow school bus will be passing in front of our house. Cheyenne loved for us to take her to the bus and meet her after school, just for the walk up to the house. Of course, we loved it also. Now we have no one to meet.

Seeing the happy children shopping and the school bus making its rounds, now has another meaning for us. Our girl is not here with us for us to enjoy, to keep us company, to give us hugs, to ask all those questions, and for us to act silly with.

But realistically, we have learned that most things in life now have that meaning. The thousands of things that most take for granted and never spend a second thinking about, bring memories to us as well as the realization that those things, for us, are never more.

The CMN radiothon begins this week, on the 18th. I believe that on the 19th they will be playing excerpts from Cheyenne’s journal throughout the day. Then on the 20th Donna and I will be at the radiothon for the live broadcast portion. Cheyenne would surely love to be there.

Two days ago the remainder of the markers at Lawnhaven Cemetery were finished and set up. It is really, really beautiful. Not quite good enough for our baby, but beautiful none the less. We have not had an opportunity to take a photo yet, but I am sure that as soon as we do, Donna will post a photo.

Donna and I have been so, so busy. Donna at work during the week, and me, doing the thousands of things around the house relating to the new construction. As soon as I finish one project, three more pop up. It seems to be never ending

Last week we received a very nice gift from Linda Champa that has been giving us some comfort and a few smiles. A book entitled “My Dream of Heaven”. This was written in the 1800’s by a lady that, near death, had dreams or visions of Heaven. Supposedly, over the years scholars examined it, and feel that it is most likely authentic and not fiction. But, for me, it very closely follows the book of “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn that is based upon scripture, and I enjoyed reading it. Rather than going into detail explaining everything, this book just tells of her experiences in Heaven.

Certain portions of the book that I have read will come to me during the day, making me wonder what Cheyenne is doing at the moment, or what she has in store for us when we arrive in Heaven. Knowing her, some of these ideas make me smile.

Thank you for all the prayers for our family. We are missing Cheyenne so, so much. I honestly believe that the days have gotten harder. Also thank you for all the prayers for all our friends who, at this very exact moment, are missing their babies with all their hearts also.

I don’t know if you remember our friend, Taj Brown. A wonderful mom, a huge Cheyenne supporter, and herself fighting for her life against this cancer beast. She received bad news from the Dr and could really use prayers. Her website is http://www3.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown/ .

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey Chey, Chey,

Gosh girl, you know how hard it has been!! I guess, like in the book I am reading, you are probably sitting right here next to me, but I just can’t see you or hold you. Can’t wait, pumpkin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bet you have some big surprises in store for us, huh?????

Love you bunches and bunches, forever and ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of August, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella August Featured Friends

Alyssa (2) likes yellow, tabby cats, stickers, coloring, dance, jumping,
Christian music and collects Care Bears!

Janet (26) likes blue, dogs&cats, basketball, dance, freestyle and music
from the 60s. Janet likes to read, write, crochet, and she collects
cabbage patch dolls.

Ellis Mae (73) likes blue, beagles, books on tape, and she collects angels.

Bud (75) likes yellow, wolves, skiing, books on tape (new
age/metaphysical) and collects crystals.

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Thursday, August 4, 2005 9:09 PM CDT

I apologize for going so long between updates, lately updating has been very difficult.

Donna and I have been struggling as of late. Many reasons!. Missing our baby girl!!!!

In the event you have not been following Chance’s site, a short while ago his Mom, Patty was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer, and could really use some prayers. Chance has been a prayer warrior for so, so many children as he battles his own illness with such grace and strength.

Last Friday Donna and I had a wonderful visit from one of Cheyenne’s karate friends and his family. The Valadez family from San Antonio was in San Angelo for the Karate Tournament on Saturday and made it a point to stop by the house for a visit. Ed, Stephanie, Cameron and Jordan are such nice people. Cheyenne apparently was one of Cameron’s hero’s at all the Karate Tournaments. He really enjoyed watching her compete and win all those championship trophies. Now Cameron is a Karate Champion in his own right. He is awfully good and fun to watch. If you remember, Cameron made up a musical kata last year in honor of Cheyenne at one of the San Antonio Tournaments. He dedicated his Championship win to our baby. After they stopped by Lawnhaven to visit Cheyenne, they came over to the house to visit and see Cheyenne’s Garden. I believe Donna is planning to post a few photos of the Valadez’s at the garden, when she gets a chance.

On Saturday we attended the San Angelo Martial Arts Academies “West Texas Showdown” Karate Tournament in San Angelo. We saw so, so many of Cheyenne’s friends. The tournament was extremely well represented and I believe there were more than 180 competitors. I don’t remember seeing so many Blackbelts at a tournament in a long time.

The TKA (Tang Soo Do Karate Association) is just like a big family. They always are so kind to Donna and me. Special thanks are in order for Sifu Ector Troncoso, Sifu George Howard, Master Danny Valdez, Chodan Greg Gravelle, Chodan Gary Floyd, Chodan Joe Holguin, Grand Master Johnny Thompson, Master Walters, Chodan Walters, Master Rod Garrett, Grand Master’s Odie and Mary Molina, and Grand Master Jessie Rodriguez and all of their students. They all made a point of talking to us about our baby and making us feel welcome. I know that I forgot a few, but like I mentioned, the tournament was extremely well represented by Black Belts.

Cheyenne’s Big Sis, Diana, competed in Kata (forms) and Kumite (sparring), winning a Championship in each. She is really fun to watch and is really, really good!! Also congratulations to Cameron Valadez, who went home with several hard earned Championship trophies.

Donna and I worked the trophy table most of the tournament, which is really a fun part of the event. Handing out the trophies to all those proud competitors.

Thank you for all the prayers and thoughts for our family, the Brown family, and all the others out there that are traveling this journey. We could not survive without them.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey Sweetheart,

Boy we have been missing you a lot lately. We know that you are around, and it helps so, so much with you always sending us little signs, but we still miss you with all our hearts!!!! It is going to be SOOOOO COOL when we get to see each other again in Heaven!! Be making a list of all the things you want to show us and tell us. It is going to be so much fun. We love you oodles and oodles, forever and ever.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of August, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella August Featured Friends

Alyssa (2) likes yellow, tabby cats, stickers, coloring, dance, jumping,
Christian music and collects Care Bears!

Janet (26) likes blue, dogs&cats, basketball, dance, freestyle and music
from the 60s. Janet likes to read, write, crochet, and she collects
cabbage patch dolls.

Ellis Mae (73) likes blue, beagles, books on tape, and she collects angels.

Bud (75) likes yellow, wolves, skiing, books on tape (new
age/metaphysical) and collects crystals.

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Tuesday, July 26, 2005 3:36 PM CDT

Today Donna and I spent the better part of the morning with Jo of the Children’s Miracle Network at Shannon Medical Center and Jay of Foster Communication preparing for the upcoming CMN Radiothon. This year’s Radiothon is scheduled for August 18 through the 20th and can be heard locally over KIXY, 94.7 FM. Cheyenne is being honored again this year during the Radiothon, so we will again be a big part of the event. As you all know, the CMN, Shannon Medical Center, and staff were loved by Cheyenne, so we hope to be a part of it as long as we can, to honor Cheyenne’s memory, to make her proud, and most importantly, to help the children of the Concho Valley area.

We selected a few journal entries from Cheyenne’s Caringbridge site which was recorded as I read them. After the magic is worked at Foster Communications, the recordings will be broadcast over the 3 day period that the Radiothon is broadcasting. I believe that Donna and I will also be there for a few live broadcasts and interviews.

It would be an understatement to say that today has been difficult. With ever entry, there are a thousand memories. There were a lot pauses during the recording and a lot of tears. Boy, we miss our little stink, so, so, so much!!!!!!!

Reading through the journal entries re-enforced how much fun it was to be around Miss Cheyenne. The consummate jokester, while at the same time having a heart as big as Texas, never, never wanting to damage feelings and ALWAYS wanting you to know how much that you meant to her. Constant smiles, giggles, and happiness, even in the darkest moments.

Of course, the journal readings would not be complete without the entries concerning “Pancake”, or that wacky, silly dance that she would do as she sang, “I feel good!”, her crazy go kart rides, swimming, her beloved Cinnamon Sugar, her knack for claw machines, her generosity, and her love for being kind to others.

After the recording, we spoke quite a bit about the “Pancake” story, about how some of her last words were, “LOL, Pancake” trying to cheer us up. But, I guess, Miss Cheyenne got the last laugh on this one. After talking about it at the recording, I spoke to Cheyenne about it at the cemetery this afternoon, and then a few minutes ago, was smiling as I thought about it while making a sandwich for lunch. As I began to sprinkle a little pepper on the sandwich, the lid jumped off, and an entire bottle of pepper was immediately piled 1 inch high on my sandwich. All I could do is laugh out loud and say, “You Stinker, PANCAKE!!!!” You know that Cheyenne got a REALLY big kick out of this. Now when I get to Heaven, all the other children are going to be running around not just saying “PANCAKE” but now “PEPPER”!!!!

Also a few minutes ago Rita Fava, one of Cheyenne’s best friends, brought over a beautiful little puppy dog statue for Cheyenne’s Garden. Rita and Cheyenne have been best friends FOREVER. In school together, as well as in Karate. Rita moved shortly before Cheyenne was diagnosed, but as best friends are, stayed very close with lots of phone calls, visits, emails and letters. Rita and Cheyenne!!!! The two fastest runners I have ever known, the two best Karate students I have ever seen (Two of the Original “Ector’s Angels”), two of the biggest hearts around, two WONDERFUL young ladies!!!!!!!!

Donna and I have been staying fairly busy around the house. With the 100 plus heat, the garden is taking a beating. It is a constant affair keeping the plants alive and beautiful, replacing the ones that aren’t “good enough” for Cheyenne’s Garden, and trying to keep the yard watered and cut around it.

Additionally, we are doing a little construction around the house, so there are literally hundreds of things for me to do (pure manual labor) outside during this extreme heat. Cheyenne’s Big Sis, Diana, asked to move back home for awhile until she has to leave for her Doctorate degree. She knows that we are lonely. So, to give her a little privacy, we are using the money that we save from her apartment and adding onto the house. It is going to be soooooo nice having her at home with us. Diana is quite the young lady, we are soooo proud of her as well as all her accomplishments. Oh, and speaking of that, since I last mentioned it, it is a new Semester, and did I mention it, STILL MAKING A”S!!!

The San Angelo Martial Arts Academies, Cheyenne’s and Diana’s Karate school, is hosting a big Karate Tournament this coming Saturday, the 30th, in San Angelo at John Glenn Jr High. Diana is competing in several events, including sparring. Sparring was, of course, Cheyenne’s most favorite thing in Karate!!!! After watching the last few karate classes in which the students have been sparring, I don’t think I would like to run into Diana in a dark alley. She is what you could call, “a little INTENSE”!!!!!

Donna and I will be helping with the Tournament. This year we will be distributing the trophies. It should be fun. Also we will get to see many, many of Cheyenne’s karate friends that we normally don’t see, as many live in San Antonio, Austin, and other cities.

This time, a year ago, Cheyenne was giving me the famous red Mohawk haircut. My hair was getting a little long, so I asked Donna to oblige and cut my hair. I actually asked if she would do a Mohawk in honor of Cheyenne. But NOOOOOO, she gave me a normal haircut. We did this on the front porch, near Cheyenne’s Garden, all under the watchful eye of Cheyenne’s little Mockingbird.

If you haven’t noticed, Donna loaded a few photos on the photo page, including 2 of Cheyenne’s Mockingbird in the Garden. You really have to look close to see the little bird in one, as it blends right in with all the flowers. It seems as though this little bird spends most of its time in the garden or in the Crepe Myrtle tree in the garden.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers for our family and all the other children and families. I know that Ryan’s family is missing their baby with everything that they are worth, so please remember them. Also, Bonita and little Alex, as Alex recovers from the emergency surgery to remove most of the tumor. If Bonita starts a new website for Alex, or if she chooses to use Christopher’s, I will let you know so you can visit and let them know that they are not alone in this struggle.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Punky little,

Gosh we have been missing you a bunch lately!!! I know that you can’t be here with us all the time, but we have to ask anyway. We love you with all our hearts, and miss you with every fiber in our bodies. Come visit, OK? A million hugs and kisses!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of July, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella July Featured Friends

Elizabeth, age 9
Elizabeth likes purple, gymnastics, soccer, and collects snowglobes.

Christina, age 33
Christina likes purple, being with friends, and collects angels & broken
winged angels.

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Thursday, July 14, 2005 4:10 PM CDT

UPDATE 7/24/05
I really, really hate this world of cancer and brain tumors. There are so, so many children and adults fighting this battle and so, so many grieving parents, siblings, spouse’s and family members.

Right after Cheyenne was diagnosed, we met a very nice lady on one of the many support groups of which we were members. Bonita’s son Christopher, was also battling the same tumor as Cheyenne. Little Christopher went to Heaven in January 2004. Bonita had already lost her husband to cancer and a brain tumor, going to Heaven in 2003.

Now Bonita is again fighting. Her son, Alex, was just diagnosed with a brain tumor. Fortunately, this one was operable and surgery was preformed a few days ago. Please join me in asking God to PLEASE be merciful to Bonita and Alex. Please let the remaining tumor shrivel and die, and let little Alex live his life here on earth.

Thank you

Roy

---------------------------------

UPDATE Saturday 7/16/05

I should warn you that on tonight’s post I became a little long winded. Sorry!!!

Just after posting the last update, I told Donna that in the future I probably would not post the details of all those special little signs from Heaven that we receive letting us know that Cheyenne is with us and watching over us. I guess I didn’t want anyone thinking that we were crazy. After all, some of the signs that we have been blessed with are pretty dramatic, to say the least!! I would just post the fact that Cheyenne had again reassured us of her presence and that she was watching over us. (It’s alright if people think we are a “little” crazy!!!! Ha!!)

I feel that it is important for me to mention these beautiful signs, especially for all those traveling this journey, so they may also recognize all the wonderful things God sends to us to help us in our grief. Our children, although not physically present with us NOW, are HERE, are enjoying all the rewards that God has promised in Heaven, AND (I can’t explain it, it just happens!!!!) they are able to watch over us, send us little (sometimes pretty dramatic) signs that they are ok, they are here, and are awaiting our eternal reunion. I guess I feel that some of the signs could be easily overlooked, so I just didn’t want anyone to miss such wonderful signs and inspiration from God!! After all, as I have mentioned, these little signs are what brought us back into the arms of God after Cheyenne went to Heaven and are keeping us sane.

ANYWAY, now that I have said that, I JUST HAVE TO SHARE WITH YOU SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TODAY!!!!!!!! And by the way, if you can’t tell from the manner that this is being written, this experience was REALLY uplifting for us. THANK YOU GOD!! THANK YOU CHEYENNE!!!

Hopefully you know our Mockingbird story, as this makes much more sense if you do.

Earlier today Michael, Christopher, and I were over at a neighbor’s house approximately ¼ mile from our home. The three of us, along with two other people were gathered around a tree talking. Before long, a young Mockingbird joined us by landing in the tree within a few feet of us. Cocking its head and attentively listening to the conversation.

I didn’t want to say anything out loud due to the two non-family members standing there, but wanted to make sure that both my sons saw the Mockingbird. It took them awhile to see me nodding my head its way, but they finally saw it.

Now this Mockingbird was not just sitting there listening, it seemed to get bored with the conversation and started doing bird acrobatics in the tree. Hanging upside down on one leg, then switching to hang upside down on the other, and so on. Really cutting up. All within just a few feet of us.

We finally finished what we were doing and left, leaving the bird sitting there in the tree watching us drive off.

Michael, Christopher and I spoke of the bird and its antics later, and Michael mentioned that although we had talked of it often, he had never experienced it first hand. Of course, Christopher has experienced it many, many times.

We parted ways, and I returned home, picked up Donna and later Diana and drove to Lawnhaven Cemetery to release balloons in little Ryan Brown’s honor. Of course we spoke to Ryan and Cheyenne at length. As we were leaving Lawnhaven, I told Cheyenne that I would see her at the house.

Upon arrival at home, as I normally do every evening, I went outside to feed all our animals, including the birds.

As I approached the bird feeder in Cheyenne’s Garden, a lone Mockingbird flew up and landed at my feet, cocking its head and talking to me. I called and called for Donna to come out of the house, but apparently she couldn’t hear. So, I walked away from the Mockingbird to the porch and again called Donna, who came outside.

Unfortunately, all the calling and movement caused the little Mockingbird to become frightened, and it flew 20 or 30 feet away.

As Donna came out, I called the little bird and told it that it was alright and that it could come back. Immediately it began hopping our way where it eventually was standing between Donna and me.

NOW THIS IS THE COOL PART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As we were standing there talking to this Mockingbird, it flew up into the tree, sat for a few seconds, and then flew down and LANDED ON MY LEFT SHOULDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Donna said that I shouldn’t mention the next thing, but I can’t help myself, she swears the little bird pecked me on the cheek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before leaving, Cheyenne's Mockingbird even left a little feather on the ground for us.

OTHER THAN THE “I’M HERE” PILLOW, ISN’T THIS JUST THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD??????????????????

With that, I will close tonight, in hopes of WONDERFUL dreams tonight of our Pumpkin!!!

Also, please remember Phillip, Andrea, Nana Sherry, and the rest of the family in your prayers tonight. I know how bad that they miss little Ryan tonight. Ryan’s web address is www.caringbridge.org/ky/ryanbrown if you want to leave a little message.

-------------------------------

Ryan’s funeral is Saturday at 10am. Oh, I wish we could attend!!! Just to say goodbye here on earth to our little buddy, and to give his mom, dad, Nana, and the rest of the family big hugs. We plan to release balloons here in his honor. I am sure that Miss Cheyenne is taking care of him just fine, but it still hurts so bad for the rest of us here on earth.

Lately, as you know, we have been having some very difficult days. In the midst of these days, it seemed as though we could not feel Cheyenne’s presence as much as in the past. The signs that she regularly sends, the feeling of her presence, and the knowledge that she is here and is alright seemed to be fading.

Then yesterday, for whatever reason, I felt Cheyenne’s presence with me all day. IT FELT GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today our baby made sure that we knew that she was here watching over us. As Donna was preparing for work, she was sitting at the computer watching the screen saver slide show of the 60,000 plus photos that we have (thousands are of Cheyenne, of course). As we both normally do, Donna was talking to Cheyenne, telling her how much we missed her, how we had not felt her presence as much lately, but how Donna understood that she has been busy visiting Ryan and with all the other children as of late. But, Donna said, “We also need you here with us!!!!! We want you Here!” At that precise instant, the photo of Cheyenne’s pillow that says, “I’m Here” popped up on the screen saver. One chance in over 60,000!!!!

Also at the exact moment that the photo appeared, Cheyenne sent another little sign, one that we commonly accept as Cheyenne making her presence known. No reason to go into details, but there is NO DOUBT, our baby is staying close to us, watching us, and taking care of us, especially on those hard days. WE LOVE YOU CHEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As all of you know, I am sooooooo proud of Miss Cheyenne. I even sign my name, “Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy”! Boy, am I ever proud of her. But, I also wanted dedicate a little time and let the world know how special our other children are and how proud we are of them.

First there is Michael. A wonderful son, father, and husband. He chose a career field to help people, a Paramedic and Fireman. His wife, an Emergency Room Nurse!!!!

There is Christopher. A wonderful son, father, and husband. He also chose a career field to help people. He is currently in the Military, volunteers as a Volunteer Fireman for our community, and is going into the Law Enforcement field upon leaving the Military. His wife, finishing her education to go into the Medical Profession.

Then there is Diana. Cheyenne’s Big Sis!!! Currently attending school to also join the Medical Profession. Did I mention, making A’s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO BIG SIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, there is NO DOUBT, not only are mom and dad very, very proud of all our children, their goals, their accomplishments and aspirations, but I am sure that Cheyenne is soooooooooooooo proud of them as well!!!!! One thing about Chey, she loves her brothers and big sis!!!!!!!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Hey Punky Little,

Boy we miss you sweetheart!!!! Most days are sooooo hard without you here to talk to and just be with!!!! Keep us company, OK!! Give all the children a GREAT BIG hug from us, OK. We love you to the moon and back, forever and forever.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Your Proud Daddy, Forever and Ever

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of July, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella July Featured Friends

Elizabeth, age 9
Elizabeth likes purple, gymnastics, soccer, and collects snowglobes.

Christina, age 33
Christina likes purple, being with friends, and collects angels & broken
winged angels.

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Thursday, July 7, 2005 11:57 AM CDT

UPDATE 7/10/05 830pm

Knowing my baby, Cheyenne,, I am sure that right now, our Buddy Ryan is having a BIG time, running, playing and having a complete blast with Cheyenne and all her friends as they explore all the wonders of Heaven.

In God’s own time, Andrea, Philip, Donna and I will get to see all those wonders, with our children showing us around.

I believe that Miss Cheyenne now has more friends in Heaven than she had here on earth. While Cheyenne was here and after she has gone to Heaven, we have come to love these children. The one’s still here fighting their battles and the ones that have preceded us to Heaven. There are sooooo many. Their families are now our family.

I understand that when our Buddy Ryan earned his ultimate reward today, he was wrapped in his favorite thing, his “Cheyenne Blankie”. Also as his time grew nearer and nearer, his grin became bigger and bigger. I know for fact that there were some really cool young ladies and young men there to greet him, make him smile, and take him home.

Some day we will get to experience that wonderous feeling, and BE REUNITED FOREVER AND FOREVER!!!!!!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Please keep Cheyenne’s Buddy, Ryan, and his entire family in your close thoughts and prayers. No family should ever have to experience this horrible nightmare!

I know that since I have not updated in awhile, some may be worried. The days have just been hard!! In some ways, that statement really doesn’t even do it justice, as it implies that other days are not hard. Truthfully, each and every day since Cheyenne has gone to Heaven has been extremely difficult, and then for a multitude of reasons, other days are even harder. We have been experiencing those “harder” days as of late! We miss Cheyenne so, so, so very much!

July 4th was always a big day for our girl. I can’t remember a time that we didn’t go into town to watch the fireworks display together. After the display was postponed on the 4th due to inclement weather, Donna and I watched the fireworks from Cheyenne’s Garden the next night. It was peaceful, beautiful, and I could sense Cheyenne’s presence with us.

In 2 more days, it will be the 2nd anniversary of Cheyenne’s Diagnosis. Two short years!!!! And our baby has been gone for what on some days feels like an eternity.

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Hey Pumpkin,

I guess you have been visiting Ryan a lot lately, give him a great big hug from us, OK? Miss you to the moon and back, a thousand times!!! Love ya forever and forever!!!! You’re my Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Daddy

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of July, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella July Featured Friends

Elizabeth, age 9
Elizabeth likes purple, gymnastics, soccer, and collects snowglobes.

Christina, age 33
Christina likes purple, being with friends, and collects angels & broken
winged angels.

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Sunday, June 26, 2005 0:09 AM CDT

UPDATE 7/6/05

PLEASE REMEMBER OUR BUDDY RYAN AND HIS FAMILY IN YOUR PRAYERS TONIGHT AND OVER THE NEXT FEW HOURS.

Thank you and God Bless

Roy

UPDATE 6/28/05

Originally I chose to make no comment on the “ Kaidrie” issue. However, with the number of emails that I have been receiving, I thought I would just give you a few of my thoughts.

I spoke to the person I knew as Amber frequently via telephone and email. Due to Kaidrie having the same diagnosis and prognosis as Cheyenne, our conversations were from the heart, and were our innermost thoughts and feelings. Cheyenne, Donna, and I became to love the little girl we knew as Kaidrie. All of us enjoyed receiving mail from her as well as sending her mail. The “girls” even often exchanged gifts.

Even though I now consider myself fairly knowledgeable in the field of dpg’s, I never once suspected that this family was not traveling the same journey as we.

A few weeks ago, when I learned that Amber and Kaidrie may not be authentic, I experienced several emotions.

Initially, for a split second, the thought ran through my mind, “I hope that Amber and Kaidrie are not frauds.”

Then immediately I caught myself and thought, “No, Please let them be a fraud. Please let the little girl that I know as Kaidrie, be healthy, not suffering from this horrible tumor. So from that instant forward, my prayers were for this little girl to be free of the life that we have been faced with over the past 2 years.

My prayers were answered!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thank you for the continued prayers for our buddy Ryan and Matthew.

I know that our baby Cheyenne was smiling down from Heaven today. Today Cheyenne’s Big Sis, Diana, was tested for advancement in her Tang Soo Do class. We have noticed that Diana has become more “intense” in her Karate since Cheyenne has gone to Heaven, and today she proved it. Following her test, Diana was informed that she was being “double” promoted. So in essence, Diana earned 1 year of advancement in just 6 months. WAY TO GO DIANA!!!! Diana is now a Green belt with 1 stripe!

Being “double” promoted is really quite an honor. Diana was following in her little sister’s footsteps, as Cheyenne also received this honor about 2 years ago. And by the way, the San Angelo Martial Arts Academies and the other schools in the TKA are not ‘easy” schools. They demand training, respect, discipline, and knowledge of the Arts. They are Great schools with a fantastic reputation.

The San Angelo Martial Arts Academies, are basically a big family. We are fortunate to be included in their family, as well as the entire TKA family. They are truly a great bunch of people.

Today after Karate, we met Kody Doty’s mom at Lawnhaven Cemetery and spoke for quite awhile. Little Kody is resting not far from Cheyenne and went to Heaven just 2 weeks after Cheyenne. It is so amazing that our thoughts and feelings are exactly the same. If not for our concrete knowledge that our children were in Heaven, running, playing, and doing all the great things that they enjoy, life would be totally, completely unbearable. I can not even begin to imagine how hard it would be without that knowledge, as it is awfully hard just making it through the day with it.

Cheyenne continues to send us those little signs that she is around. I can’t wait until the time we are together so we can send signs together to those that are left here on earth. Cheyenne comes up with some pretty dramatic signs sometimes, but when the two of us get together, you better watch out!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her Mockingbird continues to talk to me almost everyday lately. It is eating me out of house and home as far as apples, grapes and nuts go. It is not bashful when it comes to letting me know when the grapes in the container are all eaten.

A few days ago I received an email from one of Cheyenne’s friends, also battling childhood cancer, telling me about their “Cheyenne Mockingbird” encounter. As they were driving to the doctor’s office and were stopped at a red light, a mockingbird landed on their windshield wiper and stared right in the window at Kevin. What did Kevin say? He said, ‘Cheyenne!” , of course!

Thank you for checking in on us and for continuing to keep our family and friends in your prayers. Life is pretty tough, so I can’t even imagine how tough it would be without your prayers.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Punky Little,

So what did you think of Big Sis today? She sure is proud of you, you know. I guess you are her Hero. I know that you are mine and mom’s! We miss you Oh So Much, Oh So Much!!!!! Come keep us company when you can, OK? Love you bunches and bunches, forever!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Daddy

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of June, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella June Featured Friends

Mischa (8) He likes the color yellow, ducks, dogs, horses, books on tape,
action heroes, and Thomas Train.

Shannon (37) She likes the color burgandy, little dogs, gymnastics,
antiques, jewelry, and collects beach rocks, salt&pepper shakers and snow
globes.

Monique (58) She likes the color green, horses, fencing, classical music,
reading and watching movies.

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Sunday, June 19, 2005 12:26 AM CDT

UPDATE Tuesday 6/21/05 330pm

I just had to share this with you. Some very special people went way out of their way this Father’s Day to make Cheyenne’s Daddy feel really special this Father’s Day.

On Sunday, James Bouligny made a special trip to our house and presented me with a Father’s Day gift from both he and his brother, John. It is a beautiful pillow with Cheyenne’s photo on it and the words # 1 Dad embroidered.

Today in the mail (and this one made me both cry and laugh) I received a card from Shasta, another of Cheyenne’s very, very special friends. On the exterior of the envelope Shasta had written in large red block letters, “This is NOT a bill!” Something just exactly as my jokester Cheyenne would have done. Shasta wrote the nicest words inside (the words really brought the tears, but most were for joy at this young girl’s kindness and thoughtfulness).

Also on Father’s Day, my dear daughter Diana made and gave me the most beautiful card. On the exterior it had a photo of Diana, Cheyenne, and Daddy cutting up and acting silly at Disney World. Diana made sure she signed the card from both her and Cheyenne.

Then of course I already shared with you the Father’s Day card that I found the day before from my Stinker Cheyenne. What I didn’t mention was that with that card was another, also made by Cheyenne to me, generated on the computer which simply said, “Daddy, I Miss You” “Love Cheyenne”. There was also a beautiful handwritten letter, from Cheyenne to Daddy, written when she was only 4 years old, telling me how special I was and how much she loved me, all in that cute 4 year old handwriting.

In regards to these wonderful reminders that my baby loves me and is still watching over me, I believe I surprised someone today by thanking them for “NOT” doing something. Today I had to visit our Credit Union because I could not find the title to my truck, even though the loan has been paid off for 5 years. As the very understanding and nice lady at the Credit Union was searching my file, she found the title. It had never been mailed to me. She, of course, apologized. Then I said, “No, Thank you for not sending it!” Then I had to explain that due to my search for the title at home, I found these wonderful, precious treasures.

Please keep Ryan and his family close in your thoughts and prayers today as well as our friend, Matthew. Matthew is having his surgery this morning, so please, please remember him and his family. KEEP BEELIEVING IN MIRACLES!!!!!

www2.caringbridge.org/ky/ryanbrown/

www3.caringbridge.org/nj/matthew/

---------------------------------

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL THOSE DAD’S OUT THERE!!!!! CHERISH YOUR CHILDREN EVERY SECOND!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA B.!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for continuing to remember our Buddy Ryan in your prayers. We LOVE you Ryan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am the PROUDEST Dad in all the world on this Father’s day, and every other day. I have the most wonderful children in the universe. Thank you Michael, Thank you Christopher, Thank you Diana, and of course, Thank you my Pumpkin Little, Cheyenne. You all are what I am made of. Having you in my life transformed me to the man that I am. I LOVE you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you might know and understand, today and the days leading up to today have been rather emotional for me. I miss my Pumpkin Cheyenne with all of my soul and being. There is not a single second that passes without wishing we were together, that I could hold her one more time, talk to her, just sit next to her. Now I have to wait. Wait until God decides that we can be together. Hopefully, not long. All in God’s own time and in His Hands.

Donna got up early this morning and posted a special Father’s Day group of photos as a surprise for me. I remember each and every second that the photos were taken. Just like it was yesterday.

Also, since the tree in Cheyenne’s Garden started to bloom today, on this Father’s Day (another special surprise), Donna wanted a photo. What you can’t see in the photo, is that Cheyenne’s Mockingbird was sitting to my left. I didn’t even see it visiting until it flew. It just wanted to be in the photo!!!!

Yesterday, I was blessed to find a very special gift. In a place that it should have never been, I found a BEAUTIFUL handmade Father’s Day card from my baby. It tells me how much she thinks of me and reassures me that she LOVES ME FOREVER!!!!!!!! I checked for a date on it, but there was not one. But her signature was that beautiful handwriting that she was famous for.

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My Pumpkin Little, My Baby, Cheyenne,

Gosh I miss you girl!!! Thanks for the card yesterday, it was really a surprise and the tears were for joy. I love you baby, FOREVER and FOREVER!!!! Thanks for being around for us, it does help a little. Visit Ryan and make him feel better, OK!! Love you sweetie.

Your REALLY, REALLY PROUD Daddy

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOX

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of June, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella June Featured Friends

Mischa (8) He likes the color yellow, ducks, dogs, horses, books on tape,
action heroes, and Thomas Train.

Shannon (37) She likes the color burgandy, little dogs, gymnastics,
antiques, jewelry, and collects beach rocks, salt&pepper shakers and snow
globes.

Monique (58) She likes the color green, horses, fencing, classical music,
reading and watching movies.

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Friday, June 10, 2005 2:12 PM CDT

UPDATE Friday 6/17/05 1120pm

Please keep our little Buddy Ryan and his family close in your thoughts and prayers tonight.

UPDATE Sunday 6/12/05

One of the most wonderful young ladies I have ever had the honor of knowing, Miss Arabella Uhry, 9 year old friend and buddy of Cheyenne, had a story and poem published today. The title of the story, "My Friend Cheyenne Whom I Never Knew So Well"! You just have to read what this talented young lady has written. Also, Arabella is not through, by a long shot! She routinely appears on various talk shows promoting being buddies with sick children, she has a book being published, and on and on!!! Again, she is quite the young lady. I only wish Cheyenne and Arabella could have spent some time together. It is amazing how much these two have in common.

You can find the story and poem at

http://www.amazing-kids.org/ezine_16/ez.html

Click on "Creative Kids", then click on "Amazing Kids, Non-fiction Story".

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thank you for all the prayers for our buddy Ryan and sweet little Kaidrie.
http://www2.caringbridge.org/ky/ryanbrown/ http://www3.caringbridge.org/ut/kaidrie/index.htm

We have come to love these children, so PLEASE continue your prayers. God does perform miracles, and both of these babies and their families are so deserving of God’s mercy and miracles.

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Life is not now nor will it ever be the same without the “light of our lives” being physically present. We miss Cheyenne so much. So, so, so very much!!!!! Every heartbeat is difficult. I know that there are those that probably do not understand, especially if they have never traveled this journey. Many of our acquaintances seem taken back that we are not “over it”. But then, our friends by the most part, understand. And then there are the other families that we have gotten to know and become very close friends with. Sadly, they know all too well exactly what we are feeling and saying.

The profound feelings, the loss, the grief, is something that we must learn to cope with. They will not go away. In a strange way, we probably would not want those feelings to go away. Cheyenne was our baby, my buddy, the little sister, the cool Aunt, FOREVER! She is FOREVER a major part of our lives.

I believe that one of the feelings a parent subconsciously has is the fear of their child being forgotten. That their life and short presence on earth did not mean anything. We know that our Miss Cheyenne has left a legacy. She will not be forgotten! But still, we as her loved ones, her representatives, need to carry on her ideals, be her voice, and make her as proud of us as we are of her.

Cheyenne was quite the young lady!!!!! Gosh are we proud to have been her parents, her grandparents, her sister, her brothers, her nephew, her nieces, and yes her friends (and for little Cinnamon sugar, her little girl). We were so blessed to have had her in our lives, if only for the short time that it was!!

But the good news, is that someday, we will all be together again. Reunited, FOREVER and FOREVER!! No cancer, no sickness, no worry! Can’t wait Pumpkin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know that Cheyenne is watching over us from Heaven, with us every second. She continues to send us those little signs that she is here, and although it does not feel as though it is enough, it does help. Some of the signs are still fairly dramatic, but then that is our baby. She never does anything half way!!

Cheyenne’s Mockingbird continues to visit, although not near as often as it once did, but at needed times.

As I was on the telephone with Amber (Kaidrie’s mom) a few days ago, I was explaining how the Mockingbird is not around as much, and as a matter of fact, had not seen it all day. Just as I finished saying that, Cheyenne’s Mockingbird flew right up and landed a few feet from me.

Today I spent the morning at Lawnhaven Cemetery, as today Mr Allen of AC Memorials was installing Cheyenne’s bench and the large base for her marker. As we were standing there talking, the Mockingbird flew up and landed on the marker next to Cheyenne’s. Of course I had to tell the Allen’s the story. After they left, I sat on the bench to talk to my baby, and the Mockingbird returned, landed first on Cheyenne’s marker, then on the bench next to me. Cocking its head and chattering away at me….

I guess I should feed it there as well as at home!!!!!!

And then there is Cheyenne’s little Cinnamon Sugar!!!! One completely spoiled puppy dog. Yes, she can do absolutely anything she wants, and it is fine with Grandpa (me)! She goes with me almost everywhere, and is rarely more than 6 inches from me at any given time. She has this instinct. When I become emotional and the tears began to flow, little Cinnamon is always there, running and jumping into my lap to smother me in kisses and lick away the tears. Cheyenne taught her well!!!!!

On June 1st, a West Texas hail storm mostly destroyed Cheyenne’s garden in front of the house. Approximately 90 percent of the blooms were destroyed as well as 40 to 50 percent of the plants. But, with a little tender loving care they are returning. Also, the floral tree (crepe myrtle) is finally beginning to bloom. It started to bloom the day of the storm, and has taken awhile to come back. So, I have a little work cut out for me over the next few weeks, trying to restore the garden’s flowers. Hopefully, as soon as they return, we will post another photo of the garden in all its splendor, as well as photos of the new bench at Lawnhaven.

Thank you for all the continued prayers for our family and all the other children. Grandma Barger is doing much better, although the Drs still are not sure what makes her light headed and dizzy. M&M’s mom, Leslie, had a procedure that hopefully removed the cancerous cells that were discovered. She will be undergoing tests every few months to verify that the procedure worked. And, although we have never had cancer in our family prior, now Diana, Cheyenne’s big sis, needs your prayers. A yearly health screening and subsequent biopsy revealed cancerous cells. She is going in next week for the same procedure that Leslie had. I am assuming that after the procedure, she also will be undergoing tests every few months to verify that the procedure was successful. Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Punky,

Miss you more today than yesterday!! Love you more today than yesterday!! Come visit, OK? A million hugs and kisses!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Daddy

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of June, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella June Featured Friends

Mischa (8) He likes the color yellow, ducks, dogs, horses, books on tape,
action heroes, and Thomas Train.

Shannon (37) She likes the color burgandy, little dogs, gymnastics,
antiques, jewelry, and collects beach rocks, salt&pepper shakers and snow
globes.

Monique (58) She likes the color green, horses, fencing, classical music,
reading and watching movies.

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org . To visit Audrey’s Umbrella on the web, the address is
http://www.braintrust.org/umbrella.htm .
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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, has expanded its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation or copy and paste their address below
:
http://www.tumbleweedfoundation.org/

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Wednesday, June 1, 2005 11:02 PM CDT

Caringbridge implemented several changes effective today, which, I believe, includes somewhat of a linking capability. However, from what I have seen of the changes at this point, I do not see improvement in the area of networking and support for the families as they were receiving prior to the changes. Possibly I am missing something, but that is my initial take on the subject. Also I understand that those changes as well as the linking capabilities will not work with a site such as Cheyenne’s that was created prior to today. I am not certain exactly what I will do at this point, but my main goal in keeping this site alive is to bring much needed support to other families traveling this horrible road of childhood cancer.
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE

Please remember Kaidrie and Ryan in your prayers. Both have hit a little bump in the road and need our thoughts and prayers to get them on the road to feeling better. Thank you

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just spoke to our buddy Ryan's mom again. Ryan really needs our prayers tonight and over the next few days. Please pray for our little hero!!!!!

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UPDATE Sunday 6/05/05

THANK YOU SAN ANGELO AND THE CONCHO VALLEY!!!!!!

The people and businesses of the San Angelo area never cease to amaze me. They are by far the most caring and generous people we have ever met!!!

We spent most of Saturday at the 2nd Annual Shannon Medical Center Children's Miracle Network Telethon. Although San Angelo is not a major metroplex and this was only the 2nd year for the CMN in San Angelo, MORE THAN $600,000 was raised for this wonderful cause!!!!! WOW, over $600,000!!!!!

I know that Cheyenne is smiling in Heaven knowing all the children that will be helped by this!!!

Of course, I have mentioned it many times, but Cheyenne thought the world of the Shannon Medical Center, the staff, the facilities, and of course the CMN which helps fund so many great things at Shannon.

To honor Cheyenne and her friend, Justin, a BEAUTIFUL musical slide show was put together and broadcast. Although I loved it, it really brought out the emotions. The entire room was tears as the slideshow was broadcast. Immediately following, Justin's mom, Donna and I were interviewed. To say that it was difficult would be an understatment. However, knowing how much the CMN and helping the children meant to both Cheyenne and Justin, we would not have had it any other way.

Also, to further honor Cheyenne, we were able to make our first gift from Cheyenne's Memorial Fund, of course, to the CMN. Although it was only a small gift, someday we hope the fund will grow and we can make a habit of helping fantastic organizations such as the CMN. Cheyenne would like that, VERY MUCH!!!!

WE LOVE YOU CHEYENNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also THANK YOU to all of Cheyenne's and our wonderful Caringbridge supporters. Donna and I would lost without you and all the thoughts and prayers. There is not a second of the day that we are not missing our baby horribly. To be honest. our lives are almost unbearable without Cheyenne. However, with your thoughts and prayers, and the knowledge that we will someday join our baby, FOREVER, help us get through the long days. Again, THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts!!

Also please join us in remembering our buddy, Ryan Brown, and of course Kaidrie in your prayers.

God Bless all of you.

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy

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In Cheyenne’s Tang Soo Do (Karate) circle, there is a story that circulates quite often, which many say was indicative of Cheyenne’s spirit. The story is centered on a sparring match that Cheyenne fought in February 2003.

Today, while making copies of video’s of Cheyenne, I found that we had the match on video, and watched it. In that particular sparring event, Cheyenne was matched against a girl almost twice her size and strength. In Tang Soo Do, the rules prevent striking your opponent in the facial area that is not protected. The eyes, nose, mouth, chin, etc. However, even though the rules preclude it, if it does happen, the guilty party is not disqualified, but loses a single point. Also under the rules, this penalty can occur several times prior to being disqualified. So, it is possible to use this as a tactic to intimidate someone early in the match, without much chance of it affecting the overall score. This is possibly what occurred during this event.

The match started with Cheyenne being kicked directly in the nose during the first seconds of the match, knocking her completely out of the ring. As is the norm, the judges call the penalty, and give the competitor a few seconds to regain their composure, check to see if the injuries are severe, and ask if the competitor wishes to continue. Of course Cheyenne said she was alright and wanted to continue.

The very next blow caught Cheyenne directly in the mouth, sending her again flying out of the ring. This was a hard hit. You could tell it hurt my baby. Little tears were visible and her lip was quivering.

A senior teammate, Chodan Joe Holquin (Cheyenne’s hero) came flying across the court to her aid. As the story goes, Joe told her that she did not have to go back into the ring, she could forfeit and no one would think the worse. However, Joe told Cheyenne that she could beat this girl, Cheyenne was better!!!! Cheyenne was quicker!!!!

Of course Cheyenne sucked it up and re-entered the ring. I could see the fear in her eyes. As they came into the circle to touch gloves prior to resuming, Cheyenne reached with a loooong reach to touch gloves. But then she looked over at Joe and this look came over her face. You would just have to see the look, the look of OK, I can do this, You are right!!!!

Of course the rest is history, our little stink jumped in there and easily defeated this girl twice her size and later went on to win the Championship.

But watching the video today, I saw something else, something that showed what my little girl was made of, her true spirit!!

It was not this match, but the next one approximately 10 minutes later. In this match Cheyenne was up against the reigning champion. But in this case, Cheyenne stood at least 3 to 4 inches taller than her opponent and most likely outweighed her by 10 lbs.

As the match began, Cheyenne threw a spinning heel kick, flying through the air so gracefully. Her opponent saw it coming, but rather than block it, attempted to duck. Cheyenne’s foot caught the young girl directly in the face.

Now Cheyenne was on the other side of the coin. The judges stopped the event, gave Cheyenne the penalty, and gave her opponent a few seconds.

The young girl was not injured, and yes, she wanted to continue. You could see the fear in her eyes as they approached each other in the middle of the ring to touch gloves prior to resuming the match.

They touched gloves, this young girl doing exactly as Cheyenne had done earlier, using a loooong reach to touch gloves.

What did my baby do? She touched gloves, then gave the young girl a GREAT BIG HUG and told her she was sorry!!!!!! A huge smile came over both girls as well as all the judges.

The fight resumed, and Cheyenne won the event.

Cheyenne’s true spirit, a heart as big as Texas!!!! Gosh I miss her!!!! Words cannot even begin to describe the emptiness within me without my baby!

Last journal I mentioned how I longed to hear Cheyenne call me “Daddy”. Over the past few days I have been duplicating video tapes we have of Cheyenne. Our most precious possessions!!!!! Today alone, I heard the words “Mommy, I love you.” And “Daddy, I love you.” many, many times!!

Our love for each other was without bounds. I guess that is why it hurts so much for us to not be with her. The penalty for true love is the risk of losing it!

Someday, with God’s grace, we will all be together again. I personally can’t wait, it will be soooooo GREAT!!!!!!
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This coming Saturday, 6/04/05, the Shannon Medical Center in conjunction with KLST Television, is having their annual Children's Miracle Network Telethon. As you know, the CMN here at Shannon in San Angelo was DEFINATELY one of Cheyenne's favorite charities. If you receive KLST, PLEASE tune in.

This year the Telethon is having time dedicated to the memory of Cheyenne and her friend Justin Tackett. Donna and I will be at the Telethon, along with Justin's mom, at 2pm and 7pm.

If you happen to have an extra dollar or two that you don't need, I know the CMN can find a very worthwhile use for it!!!!

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Hey Punky Little,

I miss you more and more each day. Watching you on video makes it seem as if you are right here, but then the video is over and I realize you are gone. Help me be strong, baby!!! I will see you again in Heaven. Wait for me, OK? Keep sending us those little signs, we need those. We love you with all our hearts, forever and ever!!!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Daddy

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of May, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella May Featured Friends

Bailey (7) likes animals, tap dancing, horsebackriding, science projects,
and collects Barbie dolls

Dakota (13) likes dogs, football (Steelers), music, legos, puzzles, video
games and sports

Dot (75) likes Bingo, WWII and 50s music, sewing, quilting, crocheting &
embroidery

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Thursday, May 26, 2005 6:31 PM CDT

Saturday, May 14, 2005 10:56 PM CDT

As most of you know by now, all caringbridge sites, including Cheyenne’s, has had to remove all links to other caringbridge sites to be in compliance with the new caringbridge policy. Many of us expressed our concern to caringbridge and they are working to find a solution.

It is my understanding that caringbridge is speeding up the implementation of the “author” approved link list and hopefully, hopefully it will be in place within a week or so.

I have agreed to post information relative to the new linking capabilities on Cheyenne’s site as it becomes available.

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UPDATE 5/21/05

San Angelo Relay for Life

Boy, Miss Cheyenne was well represented at this year’s Relay for Life in San Angelo.

Shortly after arriving there yesterday afternoon the first people we ran into were Vickie and Caden Williams (www3.caringbridge.org/tx/cadenlane). They honored our baby by coming out in the horrible heat to walk with us.!!!! Gosh that Caden is the most beautiful baby in the world!!!!!! (PLEASE join us in continuing prayers for him, miracles do happen and that beautiful baby needs one!)

Throughout the afternoon, evening, night and this morning, besides walking umpteen million miles, we met so many wonderful people. We walked with Cheyenne’s Youth
Group’s TWO teams (I didn’t know that they had 2 teams until we arrived), we walked with the Shannon Pedi Nurses Team, we walked by ourselves, and throughout the event we would meet people coming out to walk in memory of Cheyenne. Of course, Christopher, Leslie and Diana also joined us for the walk. One of the many military teams was even running for Cheyenne. (And I mean running. The military teams run for the entire event, not walk like us old timers!)

Cheyenne and many, many of her caringbridge friends were also extremely well represented with the Luminaries lining the track..

During the walk in silence after the lighting of the luminaries, of all the songs that they could have played, they played Cheyenne’s and my favorite, Amazing Grace!!!! I taught Cheyenne how to play Amazing Grace on the keyboard, and it became our favorite. We also chose it for her Service, sung by Pastor Harry, Patrick, and Amber Mathews. Lot’s of tears flowed during that lap. We miss Cheyenne so, so, so much it still literally takes our breath away.

I have no idea how much money was brought in for the American Cancer Society, but I know that it had to be a handsome amount. If I am not mistaken, Eric Wheeler, one of Cheyenne’s BEST friends, raised over $1,000.00 by himself!

Donna and Diana flew out today to visit Donna’s mom in Milwaukee so it is rather quiet around here. That along with the fact that I have not had sleep in a long, long time, I am cutting this very short.

Thank you for all the continued prayers for our family and all the other children. God Bless you all, each and everyone one of you!!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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UPDATE May 15, 2005

Today was a special day at our church and for our baby. She was included in the Confirmation ceremony just as if she were there in person. Even when the Pastor read to each confirmand, Cheyenne was included. As the Pastor told Cheyenne, "She was already enjoying her reward in Heaven!"

Very special thanks also to the wonderful Wheeler family. Eric and his family were and still are fantastic friends of Cheyenne and of course, mine and Donna's. Sherry and Tom remembered our Cheyenne in every detail, even down to the floral arrangements on the altar. The arrangements of flowers were red carnations, one for each in the Confirmation class, and then a beautiful pink rose right in the middle for Miss Cheyenne.

As a Confirmation gift, the Wheelers presented us with an Original Cheyenne watercolor, beautifully and professionally framed, that they had bought during last year's Quilting Angels fundraiser.

Of course I have to mention, Donna and I became the proud sponsors of Eric Wheeler in today's ceremony. Eric is one fine young man, and we are honored to be part of the rest of his life in Christ.

Also today the Church Youth Group gave Cheyenne a beautiful set of wind chimes as a Confirmation gift. We have just the perfect place to hang it in her garden!!!!

Following church and Confirmation, several of our family members and friends came over to our house for a little cookout and lots of very good company.

And, as we do on all special occassions, Donna, Diana, and I released several balloons at Lawnhaven for our baby.

WE MISS YOU BABY!!!! I bet you were smiling today!! Congratulations on your Confirmation. WE LOVE YOU, TONS and TONS!!!!!

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Again, I realize how long it has been since I updated, I apologize. Of course Donna and Diana returned from Washington DC, boy was I glad to see them and have them around again. They were missed!

They arrived back late at night the night before Mother’s day which we knew would be a hard day. It was, but realistically, most days are hard, some harder than others for no apparent reason. We just miss our baby!!!!!

This Mother’s day Cheyenne was thinking of us, as both Donna and I were blessed with Cheyenne dreams.

While they were away I was privileged to be able to have a beautiful Cheyenne dream in which Cheyenne and I were making a homemade Mother’s Day card for mom. I took the hint and the first thing I did when I got up in the morning was make a card for Mom from Cheyenne. The next part was a little tricky, as in the dream, Cheyenne gave mom a specific gift. After a little search, and a 400 mile round trip, I was able to come up with the same gift. A heart shaped pendant with Cheyenne’s photo engraved on one side.

The really great thing about all this was, as soon as Donna walked into the house, she mentioned that Diana had given her a homemade card, but that she would no longer be getting those beautiful homemade Mother’s day cards from Cheyenne. No sooner than she said it she saw the one on the bar.

Then, to make it that much nicer, that night Cheyenne came to Donna in a dream. We don’t get those very often at all, so each one is a blessing, but for it to come at that time was a super blessing.

This past week Cheyenne made a new friend in Heaven. I sure you remember Cheyenne’s friend, Justin Tackett. Justin went to Heaven just before Cheyenne and they are within yards of each other at Lawnhaven Cemetery. As the result of a very tragic accident, Justin’s cousin, Calvin, is now with Cheyenne and Justin. Calvin also was laid to rest next to Justin. The funeral was hard for me to attend, but I felt I had to be there.

Tomorrow is a BIG day for Cheyenne!!!!! Thanks to her Confirmation classmates insistence that she be included in the Confirmation Service at church, Cheyenne is being confirmed with all her classmates tomorrow at 1030…

This next weekend is the RELAY FOR LIFE here in San Angelo. Cheyenne’s entire Church Youth Group made a banner with Cheyenne’s photo on it and are walking for Cheyenne. From what I have heard so far, they are really raising a lot of money for the American Cancer Society.

Then the Pedi nurses are also walking this year in honor and memory of Cheyenne and Justin. I understand that they have some really cool T shirts made up for the occasion.

The walk starts on the 20th (Friday) with the tents and all being set up at around 4pm. We plan on being there AND WALKING for several hours. We would love to see any of you there.

Thank you for all the prayers and words of encouragement. The days are so, so hard without our baby girl. We miss her so, so much. We miss the fun that we had together. We miss the conversations, her touch, absolutely everything!!!!

Our baby must really love us as much as we love her. We are also blessed by her little signs that she is around us, watching over us.. But we are selfish, we always want more. The day of our reunion in Heaven is going to be one BIG party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not sure why Caringbridge has made no progress on the links as they had promised. It really makes things hard, checking in on our friends, trying to lend a little support. I honestly believe that Caringbridge does not understand the support infrastructure that they destroyed. Hopefully they care, Hopefully!!!

Please remember little Kaidrie, Michael, David Burns, and all the other’s that are suffering in your prayers. They and their families really need the prayers. In the end, all we have is the Lord and his will.

Thank you again!!!

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Hey Sweetheart,

Wondering what you were up to today???? Boy, are we spoiling (I guess instead of we, it should be ME) your little Cinnamon Sugar, or what?????? She is such a sweet little “Stinker Winker”. She always knows when I am sad and makes me feel better. She learned that from you, huh???

Mommy and Daddy (and Cinnie Minnie) love you Stinker, with all our hearts, completely and totally, but I guess you know that. That was pretty cool with Cinnie giving you the rose on Mommie’s day, you know she loves you!!! Can’t wait to see you again Punky. Millions of kisses and hugs!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Your Daddy Forever

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of May, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella May Featured Friends

Bailey (7) likes animals, tap dancing, horsebackriding, science projects,
and collects Barbie dolls

Dakota (13) likes dogs, football (Steelers), music, legos, puzzles, video
games and sports

Dot (75) likes Bingo, WWII and 50s music, sewing, quilting, crocheting &
embroidery

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Thursday, May 5, 2005 12:10 AM CDT

Thursday, April 28, 2005 2:59 PM CDT

As most of you know by now, all caringbridge sites, including Cheyenne’s, has had to remove all links to other caringbridge sites to be in compliance with the new caringbridge policy. Many of us expressed our concern to caringbridge and they are working to find a solution.

It is my understanding that caringbridge is speeding up the implementation of the “author” approved link list and hopefully, hopefully it will be in place within a week or so.

I have agreed to post information relative to the new linking capabilities on Cheyenne’s site as it becomes available.

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I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to update Cheyenne’s Journal. Times have been fairly rough around our house without the light of our lives being physically present. That, in conjunction with several things that we are involved in and computer problems, have kept us off the computer except for a few minutes a day.

Today I learned that Christine from Florida joined Cheyenne and the other children in Heaven. Christine and Cheyenne were just about the same age. I bet they are getting acquainted right now and will grow to be fabulous friends. I also just learned that sweet little Alexia Flory from Texas joined our babies in Heaven yesterday. There are far too many children waiting for us in Heaven! Please remember their families in your prayers.

Although the signs that Cheyenne is around and watching over us seemed to have stopped a week or so ago, at one of our lowest days this week she let us know that she is still very much around and the same old Cheyenne!!!!!! Gosh we love that girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Several things are fast approaching that has been keeping us pretty busy.

This coming Saturday is the Annual Martial Arts Academy Awards Banquet. Of course, Cheyenne just loved her Karate family and now Diana has resumed Karate, working toward that Black Belt!! At this years banquet we are giving two awards in Cheyenne’s Memory to a couple of special students that exemplify her spirit in Karate and life. Then we have some very special “secret” things that we intend to hand out.

Also the San Angelo Relay for Life is on May 20th of this year. Cheyenne’s church class has made up a huge banner with Chey’s photo on it and are walking in honor and memory of Cheyenne this year.

I just found out yesterday that the Pedi nurses at Shannon Hospital are also walking in honor and memory of Cheyenne and Justin this year. So it looks as if we will be busy doing lots of walking that night. They have made up some really cool T-shirts with Justin and Cheyenne on them. Can’t wait to get one..

Between the two we hope to raise lots of money for the cause!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sooooo, if anyone wants to donate, we will pass it along!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This year Cheyenne would have been confirmed in Church. Her Confirmation class decided that Cheyenne would be very much part of their year’s Confirmation. They have received permission from the pastor, and Cheyenne will be getting confirmed with her class!!!!!

Also there is this very nice gentleman that is a friend of Connor’s family. He has offered to put together a photo slide type show of our baby. The hard part though, is me trying to pick out 20 of our favorite photos!!!! Each and every one I look at is our favorite!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope to have it done and mailed out tomorrow.

In speaking to Holly at Shannon Pedi Unit yesterday, we also learned that the fantastic gentleman that offered to build a fish pond and waterfall outside the window at the Pedi Unit, was finally approved. Although the hospital was afraid of a pond, for fear of a child falling in, a waterfall was approved. We hope to try to put something in the area as landscaping with Cheyenne’s name on it as the waterfall is finished. Not sure how much we can afford, but it is important to us to have something at the Hospital that Cheyenne loved. Because of the Children’s Miracle Network at Shannon, it became Cheyenne’s biggest and fondest charity. I am sure you all remember when she gave every red cent she had to the CMN there, saying “The children needed it more than she did!”

Speaking of that, the CMN is having a clay bird shoot fundraiser on July 2, 2005. Cheyenne is still doing her part trying to get people to donate to the CMN!! Her story came out in the invitation letter that was mailed to potential donors and shooters.

We have yet to approach Cheyenne’s school, at Christoval, but someday we hope to approach them about some sort of memorial for Cheyenne there. She just Loooooved that school and the staff. Not many children her age loved school that much. We are not sure what we could do, but we still have to see what the school would allow and then see if we can afford it.

I am sure there are a few other things that we are involved in, but my memory is not what it used to be.

I wanted to thank everyone for the prayers for Leslie, Cheyenne’s sister in law and M&M’s mom. The tests did come back positive for aggressive pre-cancer. A procedure was preformed and hopefully when they do another test in a couple of months, it will be clear. So please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Also beautiful Kaidrie and Bailey are still in need of your prayers, as are many of the other children. I hope to update the prayer list by tonight or tomorrow, if I get the many other things done that I have on my agenda.

Thank you all and God Bless

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy
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Hey Punky Little,

We sure miss you so much. As you probably know, little Cinnamon Sugar is being a Great little puppy, although she snuggles a little close at night! Did you see the present that Diana brought her??? I bet you and all your friends are really having fun in Heaven! We can’t wait to be with you and have you show us around!!!! Miss and Love you forever, and ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy, Daddy, and Diana

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PRAYER LIST

FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Emerald’s family

Ray Anne’s family

Tyler’s family

Lauryn’s family

Melody’s family

Sarah’s family

Melissa’s family

Olivia’s family

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!!

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SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Kaidrie: Having a few GREAT days for a change. Boy we love that little girl! PLEASE remember her in your prayers as she fights this beast of a tumor!!!!

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well. He is the sweetest little boy!!

Bailey Santana: Newly diagnosed with a dpg and fighting for her life at MD Anderson.
http://baileysantana.home.comcast.net/index.html

Our buddy, Ryan: Had a GREAT time at Disney and GKTW. Featured on Audrey’s Umbrella this month!!!!

Cute Craiggy: TODAY IS HIS BIRTHDAY!!!!

Beautiful Lakota: On May 17th having her 1 year BMT biopsy and other tests.

David: Having his MRI on 4/21/05

Madie Rylee-bug: ONLY 33 DAYS MORE OF TREATMENT!!!!!!

Nicole: Symptoms worsening. Trying to make a determination on next round of treatment.

Fisher: Cheyenne’s “Little Buddy”: Still having those headaches, “brain cracking” and other problems. Awaiting the date on the next MRI at the end of the month.

Little Kylie from Mn: Back in the hospital suffering from severe seizures.

Jason A from Tn: Requesting prayers. Jason suffers from rhabdo and they just received word that it is progressing.

Sweet little Tyler Tucker: Having some new difficulties.

Haley Vincent: Battling back after her problems. Getting the opportunity to sing with her WONDERFUL voice at some very important events!!!!

Matthew: Surgery scheduled for June 21st.

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, MRI results were not good. http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer.

Justin Wyatt: Surgery postponed again until May 2nd.

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas, battling back.

Shawntae Smith: Still in need of prayers.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Pam Carman: Doing better, but has lots of procedures to still go through. Pam has been such a wonderful supporter for Cheyenne. Her new website is http://www.pamsstory.org/ .

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is being treated at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Doug: In Iraq

Michael Tackett: Iraq, (Justin's dad)

Chey's grandma Barger (85) released from rehab., now healing at home, thank you for your prayers.

Leslie, Cheyenne’s sister in law and M&M’s mom, having tests come back positive. Now awaiting biopsy results.

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of April, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella April Featured Friends

Ryan (4) likes dogs, soccer, coloring & games

Clyde (46) likes poker, bicyling, baseball & baking

Christian (31) likes tennis, fly fishing, and fire fighting memorabilia

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Sunday, April 17, 2005 8:36 PM CDT

Thursday, April 7, 2005 9:49 PM CDT

As most of you know by now, all caringbridge sites, including Cheyenne’s, has had to remove all links to other caringbridge sites to be in compliance with the new caringbridge policy. Many of us expressed our concern to caringbridge and they are working to find a solution.

It is my understanding that caringbridge is speeding up the implementation of the “author” approved link list and hopefully, hopefully it will be in place within a week or so.

I have agreed to post information relative to the new linking capabilities on Cheyenne’s site as it becomes available.

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Update 4/8/05

Please keep little Benjamin Jones' family in your prayers, as Benjamin joined all the wonderful children in Heaven yesterday. I know that his family is in horrible pain today. benjaminj is from Oh.

Donna loaded a few new photos today of Melody's family's visit, Caden's benefit, and Cole's wedding. I believe I forgot to mention earlier, Cole, James' brother, was married last Sunday. It was a beautiful ceremony.

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Over the past 2 days we have had the pleasure of spending our time with a family that, although we just met in person, seem as if they have been our best friends forever. Melody’s mom, dad and brother (Rob, Deb, and Devin) arrived in the evening of the 5th and left this morning on their journey eastward. I believe by about this time, they should be arriving in Arkansas for a visit with Savannah’s mom, Lisa.

I can’t explain how comforting this visit was! To be able to center the conversation around our beloved daughters, our fears, pains, grief, experiences, and innermost feelings, knowing that each of us really understand, really care and listen, and aren’t uncomfortable with the conversation, is a wonderful feeling. I am sure Melody’s and Cheyenne’s names were spoken in this house thousands of times over the past two days. Their names, of course, are music to our ears and our fondest conversation piece.

Rob, Deb, and Devin are wonderful people. Not only did Donna and I think so, but you should have seen Cinnamon Sugar!!!!!! I have never seen her take to anyone quite like she did to them. As we met them in the driveway on the evening that they arrived, Cinnamon seemed as if she had known them all her life, and completely smothered them in kisses. Not just for a few seconds, either!!!!!!!!! You could say it was an extended smothering in kisses and continued the entire time they were here!!!!!!!

Coach Slate, Christine, and Hanna were able to visit on both days, as did most of my family. Also, we are all very sure that Miss Melody and Miss Cheyenne were here visiting as well. Even though I try every night, I have difficulty and very rarely dream about Cheyenne. The first night that they were here, I had a WONDERFUL dream!! It only lasted a short while, but I was able to see Cheyenne and Melody walking around the garden in front of the house, pointing and giggling. All day I tried to determine what they were pointing at and giggling about. The next morning, I actually stood where I saw the girls standing, and looked in the exact direction that they were pointing and giggling in an attempt to see what was so funny. Right there, in the exact spot that they were pointing, just out of sight in my dream, was the Cat Bird Feeder that Pam Carman recently sent and we set up in the garden. So I guess the girls thought that it was pretty funny!!!!!!!!!

This last Sunday we also had the pleasure of attending the benefit for little Caden Williams, of Wall, TX. I swear, he is the cutest little baby I have EVER seen. His smile absolutely melts your heart. It was a terrific turnout, standing room only!!! As part of the benefit they had a barbecue, silent auction, and regular auction. We made it out with some pretty cool stuff for the garden and the birds.

Also, we FINALLY were able to open a bank account for the CHEYENNE FIVEASH MEMORIAL FUND. After quite a run around at most of the banks in San Angelo, we were able to open one at the First Community Federal Credit Union, which as crazy as it was, is our bank also. We should have checked with them first, I guess. But we also had to wait for the information from the IRS, so there would have been a delay anyway.

Immediately, we plan to use the fund to lend support to grieving families that have lost their children, families with sick children, as well as start a college scholarship fund in Cheyenne’s name. We really haven’t decided how we will fund the account, but were able to open it with Cheyenne’s money with a little boost from old mom and dad.

I apologize for not updating the prayer list tonight. On the day that Melody’s family was to arrive, we had horrible winds and lost power for several hours. Thanks to wonderful Microsoft technology, the power outage wreaked havoc on my computer. I thought I had it repaired the first day, but we are still having problems accessing the internet and using our router. I will update the prayer list as soon as I am able to stay on the internet for an extended period of time to visit our friends.

Thank you for your continued prayers for our family and all the other families. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Punky little,

We sure do miss you, but I guess you know that!!! Thanks for coming to me the other night, I really needed it. We love you with all our hearts and miss you for everything that we are worth. TO THE MOON AND BACK, PUMPKIN, FOREVER AND FOREVER!!!! And, we KNOW that you are HERE, baby, but just keep telling us, OK!!!!!! We LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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PRAYER LIST

FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Emerald’s family

Ray Anne’s family

Tyler’s family

Lauryn’s family

Melody’s family

Sarah’s family

Melissa’s family

Olivia’s family

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!!

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Kaidrie: MRI results was devastating. Please keep Kaidrie and her family in your prayers as the family struggles to determine their next step.

Kody: May be still having small seizures, as well as other problems that are not going away.

Michael: Also fighting with all his strength .

Benjamin: Still hanging in there, but having a really hard time and needing prayers.

Our buddy, Ryan: Started new treatments, and doing well.

Nicole: Symptoms worsening. Trying to make a determination on next round of treatment.

Fisher: Cheyenne’s “Little Buddy”: Still having those headaches, “brain cracking” and other problems. Awaiting the date on the next MRI.

Little Kylie from Mn: Back in the hospital suffering from severe seizures.

Jason A from Tn: Requesting prayers. Jason suffers from rhabdo and they just received word that it is progressing.

Sweet little Tyler Tucker: Doing fairly well, but suffering from very bad mouth sores and other problems.

Haley Vincent: Battling back after her problems. Getting the opportunity to sing with her WONDERFUL voice at some very important events!!!!

Haley Vanna: Had an MRI on March 21st and MRI was not good news.

Matthew: Surgery scheduled for June 21st.

Beautiful little Catia: Thank you God, scans are stable!!!!!

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, MRI results were not good. http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer.

Justin Wyatt: Surgery postponed until April 5.

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas, battling back.

Dylan: Back at home, but not doing as well as we would like.

Shawntae Smith: Still in need of prayers.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Pam Carman: Doing better, but has lots of procedures to still go through. Pam has been such a wonderful supporter for Cheyenne. Thank you Pam for everything!!!!!!! No birds have moved into the “Cat” birdhouse yet that you sent!!!!!! I believe they are afraid of going into its mouth!!!!!!!!!

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is being treated at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Doug: In Iraq

Michael Tackett: Iraq, (Justin's dad)

Also the cutest little boy in the world, Caden, is having a benefit on April the 3rd, beginning at 11am at the Catholic Church in Wall, TX. So if you live around San Angelo, I hope to see you there.

Chey's grandma Barger (85) released from rehab., now healing at home, thank you for your prayers.

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of April, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella April Featured Friends

Ryan (4) likes dogs, soccer, coloring & games

Clyde (46) likes poker, bicyling, baseball & baking

Christian (31) likes tennis, fly fishing, and fire fighting memorabilia

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Friday, April 1, 2005 8:24 PM CST

As most of you know by now, all caringbridge sites, including Cheyenne’s, has had to remove all links to other caringbridge sites to be in compliance with the new caringbridge policy. Many of us expressed our concern to caringbridge and they are working to find a solution.

It is my understanding that caringbridge is speeding up the implementation of the “author” approved link list and hopefully, hopefully it will be in place within a week or so.

I have agreed to post information relative to the new linking capabilities on Cheyenne’s site as it becomes available.

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It is amazing how much the presence of one little girl can be missed so greatly. We miss Cheyenne so, so, so very much. Not a second of the day goes by without thinking of her, missing her, and wishing we were together. Some days the pain and heartache are so bad, it literally takes one’s breath away. We were so fortunate to be able to be Cheyenne’s mom and dad, her big sis, her big brothers, her nieces, her nephew, her grandparents, her aunts, uncles, and her friends. And least I forget, her sweet puppy dog baby, Cinnamon Sugar!!!! WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU CHEYENNE!!!!!!!! We will spend our lives trying to live up to what you would expect of us. We love you, forever and forever!!!!

Today was April 1st.. April Fools Day. I can not remember a time when Cheyenne didn't pull an April Fools Joke on me, until today... But the day is still young, maybe my baby will visit me tonight!!

Easter was a hard holiday for the family, as Cheyenne was so active in celebrating Easter. Easter was a fairly busy day, which I guess was good for us. We spent the morning at Glen Meadows Baptist Church, where Cheyenne’s good friend, Christene Paulin, was Baptized. Boy, Cheyenne would have loved to have been there!! At Glen Meadows, I believe we ran into half of the people we know. EVERYONE was there.

Following the service, Coach Slate, was kind enough to have us and several others over to her house to celebrate the Baptism. Watching all the children jump on the trampoline brought back memories!!!!

As we do each holiday, we released several balloons for Cheyenne and her friends. This holiday, we had an exceptionally hard time finding a store that was open that sold them. But we finally prevailed, and several balloons were sent up into the Heavens to the children.

The rest of the day was spent at my parents home, playing with M & M, watching them hunt Easter eggs, and spending time with family. At the time I didn’t think anything of it, but Christopher hid the eggs this year for the little ones. Of course he counted them first, so we would know when they were all found. Wouldn’t you know it, two were missing. Everyone blamed Chris for miscounting, but he insisted that he did not. Probably Miss Cheyenne took them with her, as I know that she was there with M & M, helping them hunt the eggs as she has every year in the past!!!!

Diana has started Karate again at the Martial Arts Academies here in San Angelo. One thing about that school is that they are literally like family. All the Blackbelts and students alike…. Cheyenne absolutely loved her Karate and her Karate Family. And boy was she good at it. Watching Diana the other night at practice brought back lots of memories. It is easy to see where Cheyenne received her Karate talent. Her Big Sis is AWESOME also!!!!! The school’s annual Banquet is coming up shortly. We are so proud that there will be a “Cheyenne Spirit Award” given out. And this year’s recipient, of course the name is a secret, but they are such a worthy recipient and it will be an honor for us to present it.

Melody’s family will be here in a few days. It will be so great to meet them in person. Some day we will also take a similar trip, like the one Cheyenne planned while she was still here. Of course, that one didn’t materialize, but some day in the near future.

I have received several emails, three today alone, asking for the posting of prayer requests for children. Due to the “posting of links” problems, I have listed the children in the prayer request portion. If you don’t have their addresses, feel free to email me.

Also, you will probably notice that Kaidrie’s website is password protected. Unfortunately, some person has used her site to write some very hurtful things. Little Kaidrie and her family really need your prayers right now, as it appears as if the tumor is growing. For those that didn’t know, Cheyenne was very, very fond of Kaidrie. As a matter of fact, Kaidrie was one of the first children that Cheyenne visited after going to Heaven. We have a beautiful picture of Cheyenne that Kaidrie drew after their visit!!!!!

Thank you for all the prayers for our family and all the other families and children. God Bless you all for caring and for what you do!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy
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Hey Pumpkin,
You know how much we miss you!!!! Even little Cinnamon misses you so much she sometimes cries. We really, really enjoy the little things that you do around here to let us know that you are here. Without that, I don’t know what we would do…. You just keep on having fun in Heaven and we will be there someday, then you can show us all around… OK????? We love you will all our hearts, forever and forever!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy, Daddy, and Big Sis

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UPDATE 03/26/05

After seeing that Donna changed the photo on the main page, I thought I would share the significance of the Easter basket in the background. I swear, our little girl's love for us is immeasurable. Nothing, even her presence in Heaven, can keep her from reaching out to us.

The day before yesterday Donna was getting something out of the refrigerator, and there in the door, she found a beautifully hand decorated Easter egg. Not just any old Easter egg, but one that Cheyenne had apparently decorated last year, and there it sat, for over a year, just awaiting the right time for us to find it. The sweetest thing, it was not for Cheyenne, not for mom or dad, but in Cheyenne's own handwritting, it displayed the name of the loved one for which it was intended, "Cinnamon"!! Her baby, her Cinnamon Sugar Fiveash!!!!!!

Like the saying goes, "Timing is Everything!!!" We could have found that egg anytime in the last year, but no, we find it 2 days before Easter!!

We don't know how long a hard boiled egg will last in the refrigerator, but you can bet that it has found a home there for a long, long time!!!

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Spring and Easter are almost upon us. Cheyenne absolutely loved the Spring and Easter was most likely her favorite holiday of the year.

To Cheyenne, our little “water monkey” and just a little of a tom boy, Spring meant she would be in the pool, very soon. If she were here, there is not a doubt in my mind that she would have talked me into getting into the pool today. The outside temperature is in the 80’s, but I am sure the water is in the 50’s…. But that never dissuaded our little stink. She LOVED to swim.. Then of course the go kart would be fired up and running, Blackjack would be carrying her around, the trees would be climbed, and it never failed, mom and dad would have a surprise wildflower bouquet brought to the house. Boy we miss that little girl more than words could ever express!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then there is Easter. Cheyenne LOVED little children. Each year she would volunteer at the church and various places to “stuff” and hide plastic Easter eggs. We have a photo from last year in which Cheyenne “stuffed” an entire grocery cart of plastic eggs, with the help of some friends. Then she had quite an art at hiding them. She knew that the little ones had to have the “easy ones” and then the older children the harder to find ones. She would always grab M&M’s (she affectionately called her nieces Maddie and McKayla M&M) hands, and off they would go on their Easter egg hunt adventure. Cheyenne even wore the little bunny ears and painted whiskers on her face to please the little ones.

And then each year on Easter, prior to church, we had a family tradition that Cheyenne loved. Each of us in the family, including Cheyenne’s older brothers and sisters that no longer live at the house, has their own “old” hand crafted wicker Easter baskets. Cheyenne would spend the weeks prior to Easter picking out everyone’s favorite candies. She knew who each basket belonged to, and would stay up the night before individually filling them. Afterwards, she would hide them throughout the house and make us find them the next morning. Of course, Mom would secretly do the same with Cheyenne’s basket, and always hid it in a really hard to find place. Cheyenne got such a kick out of having us search the house looking for those baskets, and then the look on our faces when we would see all our favorite candies inside.

I can just imagine the fun she will be having this year with all the little friends that she has in Heaven!!!

I originally was not going to share this next story, but as of today the ending changed, so I thought I would share it.

Yesterday, on my daily trip to Lawnhaven Cemetery to visit Cheyenne, as soon as I arrived I found a dead Mockingbird lying just a few feet from Cheyenne’s marker. I know that it is silly, but it really hurt to see that bird there. I even brought it home and we buried it in Cheyenne’s garden, under the big red heart. All the while, Donna and I wondering “What kind of sign is God sending us?”

This morning I arrived at Lawnhaven and was sitting there next to Cheyenne’s marker, talking to her. It was so, so quiet. No windchimes, no birds singing, no wind. Just very still and quiet. And of course, my mind was on the Mockingbird and that was the subject of conversation with Cheyenne. I guess I looked pretty sad sitting there.

Then all at once, from just a few feet away and from behind me, a bird started singing a beautiful song. Now I am no bird expert, but I have come to recognize a Mockingbird’s song!!!! I turned around, and there was this Mockingbird sitting on the marker behind me, singing right to me. As I sat there, it flew down, hopped across the grass to within a few feet and just sang and sang!!! I spent about 30 minutes just watching, talking to and listening to the Mockingbird, and then thought, I have to call Donna. I pulled out the cell phone and called. When Donna answered all I said was, “Listen to this” and held the phone out towards the Mockingbird. Of course she knew right away what had transpired. Unfortunately, the bird is apparently somewhat bashful, as after just a few seconds, it flew off to a marker 8 to 10 yards away, and just sat there looking at me, not singing a note!!!! Maybe it didn’t know what this cell phone thing was that I was pushing into its face!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, EVERYONE, for all the support for our family and all the other families. Life is pretty hard without your babies. Some day we will be together again, and boy is it going to be GREAT!!! In the interim, we live each day, hoping and praying to feel Cheyenne’s presence, and trying to do work that would make Cheyenne proud of us and is pleasing to God. That’s what it is all about!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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PRAYER LIST

FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Emerald’s family

Ray Anne’s family

Tyler’s family

Lauryn’s family

Melody’s family

Sarah’s family

Melissa’s family

Olivia’s family

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!!

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Kaidrie: MRI results was devastating. Please keep Kaidrie and her family in your prayers as the family struggles to determine their next step.

Kody: May be still having small seizures, as well as other problems that are not going away.

Michael: Also fighting with all his strength .

Benjamin: Still hanging in there, but having a really hard time and needing prayers.

Our buddy, Ryan: Started new treatments, and doing well.

Nicole: Symptoms worsening. Trying to make a determination on next round of treatment.

Fisher: Cheyenne’s “Little Buddy”: Still having those headaches, “brain cracking” and other problems. Awaiting the date on the next MRI.

Little Kylie from Mn: Back in the hospital suffering from severe seizures.

Jason A from Tn: Requesting prayers. Jason suffers from rhabdo and they just received word that it is progressing.

Sweet little Tyler Tucker: Doing fairly well, but suffering from very bad mouth sores and other problems.

Haley Vincent: Battling back after her problems. Getting the opportunity to sing with her WONDERFUL voice at some very important events!!!!

Haley Vanna: Had an MRI on March 21st and MRI was not good news.

Matthew: Surgery scheduled for June 21st.

Beautiful little Catia: Thank you God, scans are stable!!!!!

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, MRI results were not good. http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer.

Justin Wyatt: Surgery postponed until April 5.

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas, battling back.

Dylan: Back at home, but not doing as well as we would like.

Shawntae Smith: Still in need of prayers.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Pam Carman: Doing better, but has lots of procedures to still go through. Pam has been such a wonderful supporter for Cheyenne. Thank you Pam for everything!!!!!!! No birds have moved into the “Cat” birdhouse yet that you sent!!!!!! I believe they are afraid of going into its mouth!!!!!!!!!

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is being treated at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Doug: In Iraq

Michael Tackett: Iraq, (Justin's dad)

Also the cutest little boy in the world, Caden, is having a benefit on April the 3rd, beginning at 11am at the Catholic Church in Wall, TX. So if you live around San Angelo, I hope to see you there.

Chey's grandma Barger (85) released from rehab., now healing at home, thank you for your prayers.

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of April, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella April Featured Friends

Ryan (4) likes dogs, soccer, coloring & games

Clyde (46) likes poker, bicyling, baseball & baking

Christian (31) likes tennis, fly fishing, and fire fighting memorabilia

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Thursday, March 24, 2005 1:01 PM CST

As most of you know by now, all caringbridge sites, including Cheyenne’s, has had to remove all links to other caringbridge sites to be in compliance with the new caringbridge policy. Many of us expressed our concern to caringbridge and they are working to find a solution.

It is my understanding that caringbridge is speeding up the implementation of the “author” approved link list and hopefully, hopefully it will be in place within a week or so.

I have agreed to post information relative to the new linking capabilities on Cheyenne’s site as it becomes available.

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UPDATE 03/26/05

After seeing that Donna changed the photo on the main page, I thought I would share the significance of the Easter basket in the background. I swear, our little girl's love for us is immeasurable. Nothing, even her presence in Heaven, can keep her from reaching out to us.

The day before yesterday Donna was getting something out of the refrigerator, and there in the door, she found a beautifully hand decorated Easter egg. Not just any old Easter egg, but one that Cheyenne had apparently decorated last year, and there it sat, for over a year, just awaiting the right time for us to find it. The sweetest thing, it was not for Cheyenne, not for mom or dad, but in Cheyenne's own handwritting, it displayed the name of the loved one for which it was intended, "Cinnamon"!! Her baby, her Cinnamon Sugar Fiveash!!!!!!

Like the saying goes, "Timing is Everything!!!" We could have found that egg anytime in the last year, but no, we find it 2 days before Easter!!

We don't know how long a hard boiled egg will last in the refrigerator, but you can bet that it has found a home there for a long, long time!!!

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Spring and Easter are almost upon us. Cheyenne absolutely loved the Spring and Easter was most likely her favorite holiday of the year.

To Cheyenne, our little “water monkey” and just a little of a tom boy, Spring meant she would be in the pool, very soon. If she were here, there is not a doubt in my mind that she would have talked me into getting into the pool today. The outside temperature is in the 80’s, but I am sure the water is in the 50’s…. But that never dissuaded our little stink. She LOVED to swim.. Then of course the go kart would be fired up and running, Blackjack would be carrying her around, the trees would be climbed, and it never failed, mom and dad would have a surprise wildflower bouquet brought to the house. Boy we miss that little girl more than words could ever express!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then there is Easter. Cheyenne LOVED little children. Each year she would volunteer at the church and various places to “stuff” and hide plastic Easter eggs. We have a photo from last year in which Cheyenne “stuffed” an entire grocery cart of plastic eggs, with the help of some friends. Then she had quite an art at hiding them. She knew that the little ones had to have the “easy ones” and then the older children the harder to find ones. She would always grab M&M’s (she affectionately called her nieces Maddie and McKayla M&M) hands, and off they would go on their Easter egg hunt adventure. Cheyenne even wore the little bunny ears and painted whiskers on her face to please the little ones.

And then each year on Easter, prior to church, we had a family tradition that Cheyenne loved. Each of us in the family, including Cheyenne’s older brothers and sisters that no longer live at the house, has their own “old” hand crafted wicker Easter baskets. Cheyenne would spend the weeks prior to Easter picking out everyone’s favorite candies. She knew who each basket belonged to, and would stay up the night before individually filling them. Afterwards, she would hide them throughout the house and make us find them the next morning. Of course, Mom would secretly do the same with Cheyenne’s basket, and always hid it in a really hard to find place. Cheyenne got such a kick out of having us search the house looking for those baskets, and then the look on our faces when we would see all our favorite candies inside.

I can just imagine the fun she will be having this year with all the little friends that she has in Heaven!!!

I originally was not going to share this next story, but as of today the ending changed, so I thought I would share it.

Yesterday, on my daily trip to Lawnhaven Cemetery to visit Cheyenne, as soon as I arrived I found a dead Mockingbird lying just a few feet from Cheyenne’s marker. I know that it is silly, but it really hurt to see that bird there. I even brought it home and we buried it in Cheyenne’s garden, under the big red heart. All the while, Donna and I wondering “What kind of sign is God sending us?”

This morning I arrived at Lawnhaven and was sitting there next to Cheyenne’s marker, talking to her. It was so, so quiet. No windchimes, no birds singing, no wind. Just very still and quiet. And of course, my mind was on the Mockingbird and that was the subject of conversation with Cheyenne. I guess I looked pretty sad sitting there.

Then all at once, from just a few feet away and from behind me, a bird started singing a beautiful song. Now I am no bird expert, but I have come to recognize a Mockingbird’s song!!!! I turned around, and there was this Mockingbird sitting on the marker behind me, singing right to me. As I sat there, it flew down, hopped across the grass to within a few feet and just sang and sang!!! I spent about 30 minutes just watching, talking to and listening to the Mockingbird, and then thought, I have to call Donna. I pulled out the cell phone and called. When Donna answered all I said was, “Listen to this” and held the phone out towards the Mockingbird. Of course she knew right away what had transpired. Unfortunately, the bird is apparently somewhat bashful, as after just a few seconds, it flew off to a marker 8 to 10 yards away, and just sat there looking at me, not singing a note!!!! Maybe it didn’t know what this cell phone thing was that I was pushing into its face!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, EVERYONE, for all the support for our family and all the other families. Life is pretty hard without your babies. Some day we will be together again, and boy is it going to be GREAT!!! In the interim, we live each day, hoping and praying to feel Cheyenne’s presence, and trying to do work that would make Cheyenne proud of us and is pleasing to God. That’s what it is all about!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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03/23/05

Today has been one of those “computer challenged” days. Earlier I intended to visit several of our friends sites, but was on a laptop rather than the usual desktop computer. Guess what, I forgot to save the links on the laptop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I eventually made it onto our desktop computer, we noticed that we no longer had music on Cheyenne’s site. Now I won’t tell you all the thoughts that went through my mind. As it turns out, it was our fault, no one else. We had the program pointed to the wrong address and wrong site!! It had been working for the past few weeks on my son’s site after we had transferred everything else over to our site. Then when he made some changes, no music!!!!! But, after pulling out a little hair, we discovered the problem and it is back.

Today in the mail we received TWO big surprises!!!!! They both made us SMILE!!

First, we received a BEAUTIFUL pillow from Connor’s family. The pillow has a HUGE photo of a smiling Cheyenne on it, and the words “Love from Heaven, Cheyenne, “Your Little Stink”” !!!!! We have to find the perfect place for it, as I want to look at it everyday. Rhonda and Eddie, Thank you, Thank you!!!!!!

Then, as if that was not enough, after dark, the UPS truck came up to the house and left us with a very large box. Pam Carman, one of Cheyenne’s avid supporters, sent us two beautiful items for Cheyenne’s garden. Cheyenne would LOVE them. A CAT BIRD HOUSE, and a CAT BIRD FEEDER!!!!!!!! Hope it doesn’t scare the birds!!!!!!! They are SOOOOO CUTE!!!! Thank you Pam!!! Sorry for all the heartache you have been going through!!! You know, Cheyenne loves you!!!!

The best news of the day was checking all the sites for updates. I love it when I read how the children “had a wonderful day today”!!!!!

I know that I had something important to update about, but in true Roy fashion, I can’t remember!!! I will have to start writing things down.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Hey Punky Little,

We miss you so, so much. Today we missed you so much it hurt really bad!!! Cinnamon misses you too!!! Come to us in our dreams tonight, OK sweetheart!

Love you with all our hearts, FOREVER AND FOREVER!!!! SEE YOU SOON!!!

Mommy, Daddy and Cinnamon Sugar

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PRAYER LIST

FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Emerald’s family

Ray Anne’s family

Tyler’s family

Lauryn’s family

Melody’s family

Sarah’s family

Melissa’s family

Olivia’s family

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!!

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Kody: Home from the hospital and having a Good day.

Michael: Also fighting with all his strength .

Benjamin: Having a really hard time and needing prayers

Our buddy, Ryan: Started new treatments, and doing well.

Nicole: Needing prayers

Fisher: The cutest guy ever, still having those headaches and “brain cracking” problems.

Haley Vincent: Battling back after her problems.

Haley Vanna: Had an MRI on March 21st.

Matthew: Surgery scheduled for June 21st.

Beautiful little Catia: Thank you God, scans are stable!!!!!

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, MRI results were not good. http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Cpt Daniel Gade: Infection contained, but still having pain and nausea.

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer.

Justin Wyatt: Surgery postponed until April 5.

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas.

Dylan: Back at home, but not doing as well as we would like.

Shawntae Smith: Still in need of prayers.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder. Good news, possibly misdiagnosed and his disorder may be treatable and not terminal. Lots of prayers needed.

Pam Carman: Doing better, but has lots of procedures to still go through. Pam has been such a wonderful supporter for Cheyenne. Thank you Pam for everything!!!!!!!

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Doug: In Iraq

Michael Tackett: Iraq, (Justin's dad)

Also the cutest little boy in the world, Caden, is having a benefit on April the 3rd. So if you live around San Angelo, I hope to see you there.

Chey's grandma Barger (85) released from rehab., now healing at home, thank you for your prayers.

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of March, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella March Featured Friends

Krysten (11) likes cats, aquamarine, Hillary Duff, arts$ crafts, drawing,
jewelry making and playing guitar

Gaston (adult male) likes reading, literature, and poetry

Linda (54) likes the color lavender, chihuahuas, baseball and folk/country
music

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Wednesday, March 23, 2005 8:54 PM CST

Monday, March 21, 2005 5:01 PM CST

It is my understanding that Caringbridge is attempting to work out a solution to the “linking” dilemma. In the interim, I have removed all links from Cheyenne’s page to avoid conflict with caringbridge and the possibility of losing my pumkin’s page. I have moved a few of the Support Foundation links to the bottom of the page, in the caringbridge link section. Hopefully, this will not be for long.

Sometime tonight or tomorrow, I will update the prayer list immediately following the written journal. There are so, so many families and children that need our support and prayers.

Regarding the caringbridge issue, I need to emphatically state that I believe that Caringbridge is a wonderful service provided to those that need it most. I would never, never do anything to harm caringbridge. I only want it to be the most that it can be, providing support to all those that desperately need it.

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Have you ever just gotten tired of battles. It seems that lately, we have had our share and I am just tired.

Lawnhaven Cemetery seems to be a constant battle. First it was attempting to get a temporary marker, then the flower issue, and now lately the markers and Cheyenne’s wind chimes.

Recently we discovered that the markers that we chose, purchased, and PAID FOR, do not comply with the rules for the section that Cheyenne is in. I guess the two aspects that irritated me the most is that we purchased them from the cemetery and paid for them in full, and they have yet to notify us that they do not comply. We were fortunate to discover this while speaking to the gentleman that is making the stones, not Lawnhaven. Again, fortunately, we will most likely be able to comply with their rules by spending MORE money, and placing what is called “planters” in between Cheyenne’s marker and Donna and mine. A planter is nothing more than a huge piece of granite, cut to match the sides of the markers, that when in place, make the markers appear to be one marker rather than 3 separate ones.

Last Christmas, we purchased a very nice set of wind chimes for Cheyenne, and placed them in an oak tree near her marker. The rules of Lawnhaven make no mention of forbidding them, and there were several scattered across the cemetery. We find them very comforting. At times they seem to “talk” to us. There may not be a breeze at all, but as we are talking to Cheyenne, they seem to start chiming and answer us. Like I said, it was very comforting.

Well, last week they were removed, along with all the others at the cemetery. Since I had placed Cheyenne’s name and date on them, I called and said that I would be there shortly to pick them up. Upon speaking to the man that removed them, he stated that an elderly lady attending a funeral at the cemetery could not hear the preacher for the noise that a wind chime was making and complained. Lawnhaven’s response, remove them all, of course… I should have told them, this is West Texas. We either have no wind, or it is blowing 20 miles an hour. When we do have wind, a person would not be able to hear the preacher for the wind, much less the wind chimes.

But the good news is that we now have them in an oak tree at the house, near Cheyenne’s garden, and they continue to “talk” to me.

Speaking of “talking” to me, I have a request. I am keeping a remembrance log of the many instances of Cheyenne making her presence known to us as well as other people. If you or someone in your family has had a Cheyenne experience, dream, or whatever, PLEASE email it to me. We would absolutely love to read it and put in into the log that we keep. We just received one today from some of our good friends, and it really, really made us feel better.

Cheyenne’s mockingbird is becoming a little more elusive to us. It only visits us once or twice a week, rather than every time we go outside or to the cemetery. Yesterday, I again went looking for it, and found 2 mockingbirds down the road, approximately 200 yards from the house. I told them that I had just put a new apple and nuts in the tree for them and to come up to the house. By the time I arrived at the house, there were two mockingbirds at the house. While one stayed 10 to 15 feet away from me, the other came down onto the ground and stayed a few feet from me until I went into the house.

I guess spring is just around the corner. The birds are all singing their beautiful songs, the trees, including Cheyenne’s Crepe Myrtle tree in her garden, are growing their leaves. Hopefully soon, the flowers in her garden will be in full bloom.

It appears as if we will be having a few visitors in April. Melody’s family will be coming through this area the first of the month, and Maxie’s grandmother, Julie, will be coming the end of the month. It will be so nice to finally meet some people who, as strange as it may sound, has become some of our best friends. What a strange world we live in, where the best friends that we have, who give us the most support, we have never met in person. I am speaking of you all, by the way. Thank you for being you and thank you for the wonderful support that you give our family and all those we care about!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Baby,
We miss you so, so, so much!!!! Many times we sit back and wonder what you, Connor, Maddie, Celeste, Melody, Maxie, Nolan, Justin, Emerald, an all the other children are up to. I bet you guys are having fun!!! Catch our balloons on Easter, OK. We are going to take M&M on an Easter egg hunt for you, OK!! We love you Punky, completely and forever!!! See you soon, OK! Oh, be sure to be with Di and me on Wednesday and Friday!!
Love you forever and forever
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy, Daddy, and Diana

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PRAYER LIST

FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Emerald’s family

Ray Anne’s family

Tyler’s family

Lauryn’s family

Melody’s family

Sarah’s family

Melissa’s family

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!!

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Kody: Having a scary few days but now home from the hospital
Michael: Also fighting with all his strength .

Benjamin: Having a really hard time and needing prayers

Our buddy, Ryan: Started new treatments, and doing well.

Nicole: Needing prayers

Fisher: The cutest guy ever, still having those headaches and “brain cracking” problems.

Haley Vincent: Battling back after her problems.

Haley Vanna: Having an MRI on March 21st.

Matthew: Surgery scheduled for June 21st.

Beautiful little Catia: Awaiting scan results today or tomorrow.

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, MRI results were not good. http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Cpt Daniel Gade: Getting bad news on nerve damage.

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer.

Justin Wyatt: Surgery postponed until April 5. Also check out the really “cool” surprise he received…

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas.

Dylan: Not doing real well

Shawntae Smith: Still in need of prayers.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder. Good news, possibly misdiagnosed and his disorder may be treatable and not terminal. Lots of prayers needed.

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is still in need of prayers, but doing BETTER!!!

Pam Carman: Doing better, but has lots of procedures to still go through. Pam has been such a wonderful supporter for Cheyenne. Thank you Pam for everything!!!!!!!

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Doug: In Iraq

Michael Tackett: Iraq, (Justin's dad)

Also the cutest little boy in the world, Caden, is having a benefit on April the 3rd. So if you live around San Angelo, I hope to see you there.

Chey's grandma Barger (85) released from rehab., now healing at home, thank you for your prayers.

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of March, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella March Featured Friends

Krysten (11) likes cats, aquamarine, Hillary Duff, arts$ crafts, drawing,
jewelry making and playing guitar

Gaston (adult male) likes reading, literature, and poetry

Linda (54) likes the color lavender, chihuahuas, baseball and folk/country
music
cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Monday, March 21, 2005 4:57 PM CST

It is my understanding that Caringbridge is attempting to work out a solution to the “linking” dilemma. In the interim, I have removed all links from Cheyenne’s page to avoid conflict with caringbridge and the possibility of losing my pumkin’s page. I have moved a few of the Support Foundation links to the bottom of the page, in the caringbridge link section. Hopefully, this will not be for long.
Sometime tonight or tomorrow, I will update the prayer list immediately following the written journal. There are so, so many families and children that need our support and prayers.
Regarding the caringbridge issue, I need to emphatically state that I believe that Caringbridge is a wonderful service provided to those that need it most. I would never, never do anything to harm caringbridge. I only want it to be the most that it can be, providing support to all those that desperately need it.

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Have you ever just gotten tired of battles. It seems that lately, we have had our share and I am just tired.
Lawnhaven Cemetery seems to be a constant battle. First it was attempting to get a temporary marker, then the flower issue, and now lately the markers and Cheyenne’s windchimes.
Recently we discovered that the markers that we chose, purchased, and PAID FOR, do not comply with the rules for the section that Cheyenne is in. I guess the two aspects that irritated me the most is that we purchased them from the cemetery and paid for them in full, and they have yet to notify us that they do not comply. We were fortunate to discover this while speaking to the gentleman that is making the stones, not Lawnhaven. Again, fortunately, we will most likely be able to comply with their rules by spending MORE money, and placing what is called “planters” in between Cheyenne’s marker and Donna and mine. A planter is nothing more than a huge piece of granite, cut to match the sides of the markers, that when in place, make the markers appear to be one marker rather than 3 separate ones.

Last Christmas, we purchased a very nice set of windchimes for Cheyenne, and placed them in an oak tree near her marker. The rules of Lawnhaven make no mention of forbidding them, and there were several scattered across the cemetery. We find them very comforting. At times they seem to “talk” to us. There may not be a breeze at all, but as we are talking to Cheyenne, they seem to start chiming and answer us. Like I said, it was very comforting.

Well, last week they were removed, along with all the others at the cemetery. Since I had placed Cheyenne’s name and date on them, I called and said that I would be there shortly to pick them up. Upon speaking to the man that removed them, he stated that an elderly lady attending a funeral at the cemetery could not hear the preacher for the noise that a windchime was making and complained. Lawnhaven’s response, remove them all, of course… I should have told them, this is West Texas. We either have no wind, or it is blowing 20 miles an hour. When we do have wind, a person would not be able to hear the preacher for the wind, much less the windchimes.

But the good news is that we now have them in an oak tree at the house, near Cheyenne’s garden, and they continue to “talk” to me.

Speaking of “talking” to me, I have a request. I am keeping a remembrance log of the many instances of Cheyenne making her presence known to us as well as other people. If you or someone in your family has had a Cheyenne experience, dream, or whatever, PLEASE email it to me. We would absolutely love to read it and put in into the log that we keep. We just received one today from some of our good friends, and it really, really made us feel better.

Cheyenne’s mockingbird is becoming a little more elusive to us. It only visits us once or twice a week, rather than every time we go outside or to the cemetery. Yesterday, I again went looking for it, and found 2 mockingbirds down the road, approximately 200 yards from the house. I told them that I had just put a new apple and nuts in the tree for them and to come up to the house. By the time I arrived at the house, there were two mockingbirds at the house. While one stayed 10 to 15 feet away from me, the other came down onto the ground and stayed a few feet from me until I went into the house.

I guess spring is just around the corner. The birds are all singing their beautiful songs, the trees, including Cheyenne’s Crepe Myrtle tree in her garden, are growing their leaves. Hopefully soon, the flowers in her garden will be in full bloom.

It appears as if we will be having a few visitors in April. Melody’s family will be coming through this area the first of the month, and Maxie’s grandmother, Julie, will be coming the end of the month. It will be so nice to finally meet some people who, as strange as it may sound, has become some of our best friends. What a strange world we live in, where the best friends that we have, who give us the most support, we have never met in person. I am speaking of you all, by the way. Thank you for being you and thank you for the wonderful support that you give our family and all those we care about!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Hey Baby,
We miss you so, so, so much!!!! Many times we sit back and wonder what you, Connor, Maddie, Celeste, Melody, Maxie, Nolan, Justin, Emerald, an all the other children are up to. I bet you guys are having fun!!! Catch our balloons on Easter, OK. We are going to take M&M on an Easter egg hunt for you, OK!! We love you Punky, completely and forever!!! See you soon, OK! Oh, be sure to be with Di and me on Wednesday and Friday!!
Love you forever and forever
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy, Daddy, and Diana

PRAYER LIST

FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Emerald’s family

Ray Anne’s family

Tyler’s family

Lauryn’s family

Melody’s family

Sarah’s family

Melissa’s family

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!!

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Kody: Having a scary few days but now home from the hospital
Michael: Also fighting with all his strength .

Benjamin: Having a really hard time and needing prayers

Our buddy, Ryan: Started new treatments, and doing well.

Nicole: Needing prayers

Fisher: The cutest guy ever, still having those headaches and “brain cracking” problems.

Haley Vincent: Battling back after her problems.

Haley Vanna: Having an MRI on March 21st.

Matthew: Surgery scheduled for June 21st.

Beautiful little Catia: Awaiting scan results today or tomorrow.

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, MRI results were not good. http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Cpt Daniel Gade: Getting bad news on nerve damage.

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer.

Justin Wyatt: Surgery postponed until April 5. Also check out the really “cool” surprise he received…

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas.

Dylan: Not doing real well

Shawntae Smith: Still in need of prayers.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder. Good news, possibly misdiagnosed and his disorder may be treatable and not terminal. Lots of prayers needed.

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is still in need of prayers, but doing BETTER!!!

Pam Carman: Doing better, but has lots of procedures to still go through. Pam has been such a wonderful supporter for Cheyenne. Thank you Pam for everything!!!!!!!

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Doug: In Iraq

Michael Tackett: Iraq, (Justin's dad)

Also the cutest little boy in the world, Caden, is having a benefit on April the 3rd. So if you live around San Angelo, I hope to see you there.

Chey's grandma Barger (85) released from rehab., now healing at home, thank you for your prayers.

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of March, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella March Featured Friends

Krysten (11) likes cats, aquamarine, Hillary Duff, arts$ crafts, drawing,
jewelry making and playing guitar

Gaston (adult male) likes reading, literature, and poetry

Linda (54) likes the color lavender, chihuahuas, baseball and folk/country
music
cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 7:08 PM CST

Until Caringbridge comes up with a solution to the "linking" dilema, I removed the links on Cheyenne's page. I just could not afford to risk losing my pumpkin's page. Sometime today, tonight, or tomorrow I will update the page again, at least with a list of children or families in need of prayers. Thank you for your understanding. Also it is my understanding that Caringbridge is currently working to find a solution to the "linking" problem.

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UPATE 10pm

If you get a chance, you might drop by Kody Bear's site and let you know that you care. He spend the last 2 days in the hospital after having a scary seizure.

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I guess most of you are by now aware of the new caringbridge policy regarding links to other sites. In the emails sent out, we were told that of the 12,000 caringbridge sites, only 150 have links to other sites, and 80 percent of the "problems" that they have come from these 150 sites. In any event, we have until March 24th to remove the links. The email also states that caringbridge will, at some future date, have a controlled linkage list.

I very strongly feel that this move by cb would be detrimential to the support that so many receive through caringbridge and have written asking them to reconsider. Thank you

Roy
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The last few weeks have been really hard on Donna and I. We lost so many of Cheyenne’s friends! Many of these children we never actually meet, but Cheyenne loved them and we fell in love with them.

We have been trying to stay busy. Donna continues to work, and as a matter of fact, flew out today enroute to Georgia for 3 days. It’s going to be lonely around here for a couple of days.

Since the last update we were privileged to attend a dedication in honor and memory of our’s and Cheyenne’s friend, Justin Tackett. The Shannon Medical Center, Children’s Miracle Network, opened a “Teen Room” at the Children’s Unit. They dubbed the room, “Justin’s Joint”! The room is outfitted with a large screen plasma television, video games, computer, and huge plush recliners. Justin’s mom, Sarah, picked out some special Justin memorabilia and it decorates the room. This will give the older children undergoing chemo and other treatments something to do while there.

I know that I have said it before, but it deserves being said over and over. The Shannon Medical Center is becoming a state of the art treatment facility for children. What they do not have, they are either getting or have access to. At present, there is not a full time Pediatric Oncologist at Shannon, however, Dr. Bowman and his entire staff from Cook’s in Ft Worth travel to San Angelo to handle all the cases. I am so happy that Shannon became a Children’s Miracle Network Hospital. There are so, so many children in the large area that Shannon covers that will benefit so very much. If you could not tell, the Shannon CMN is quickly becoming one of our favorite and worthwhile charities.

Speaking of the CMN at Shannon, while at the dedication, Nurse Holly showed us the area that has been marked off for the waterfall and fish pond. If you remember, a wonderful local gentleman came into the facility one day and said that Cheyenne had touched his heart, and he wanted to build this fabulous waterfall and fish pond so the children could enjoy it. If the Hospital Administration approves it on the 24th, the construction should start fairly quickly. Its current planned location is in the “White Rose” garden, just out the window and doors from the Children’s unit.

Donna and I were also contacted recently by another wonderful local businessman who, because of Cheyenne, has steered his business charity drive to help the CMN at Shannon. One of the major fund raisers for the CMN each year is a “clay bird” shoot. This business is sponsoring the shoot this year and will be sending out over 1,000 invitations to the event. Each invitation will have a short story about our girl, Cheyenne, included.

Cheyenne’s adopted Basketball Team, the ASU Rambelles, set several records this year. Their season just ended Saturday in Springfield, Mo after losing a close game with the 3rd ranked team in the Nation in Division II. If I am not mistaken, the Rambelles only lost 4 games all year, and was moved up in ranking to 6th in the Nation. Donna and I had hoped to meet the girls upon their return to San Angelo to congratulate them, but could never find out their exact time of arrival. Hopefully, we will see some of the girls, especially the seniors that won’t return next year, and let them know in person how proud we are of them and thank them again for all they have done for Cheyenne and our family.

The garden that I have been building at the house is basically finished. I still have to spread some topsoil and sow some grass on the lawn, but other than a few more plants in the garden, the hard work is over. To accompany the garden I also built a water fountain a few feet from the garden. Both the rock walls surrounding the garden and water fountain come complete with bronze plaque’s. The garden has a plaque identifying it as “Cheyenne’s Garden” and as a surprise, the water fountain has a plaque identifying it as “Diana’s Fountain”! Boy was Diana surprised, and happy, happy, happy!!!! I guess she now knows we love her!!! Since Donna is the caringbridge photo person, as soon as she returns, I will have her load a few photos.

Cheyenne’s Grandmother Barger, is continuing to do well and is recovering at home. Donna wanted me to mention that her 4 sisters live in Milwaukee with her mother, so she is getting lots of loving care!! Hopefully, Donna will be able to travel to Milwaukee shortly for a visit.

We continue to miss Cheyenne horribly. With all the other children over the past few weeks, it has made it even harder. It does not take much for us to get emotional anymore anyway. Thankfully, we still occasionally feel her presence and receive little signs from her. We miss her so, so, so much.

Easter is fast approaching, and this year the meaning behind Easter is even more special, Not that it wasn’t before, but now even more so. We have been honored to be invited to Glen Meadows Baptist Church on Easter Sunday, as Coach Slate’s daughter, Christene is being baptized that morning. Coach Slate and Christene are very, very special people!!!

Sorry for the long drawn out update, as long as it is, I probably forgot something that I will have to add later tonight.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers for our family and all the other families in need.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Punky Little,

Miss you bunches, Love you more today than ever. How about those “Belles”???? If you get a chance, give Emerald a GREAT BIG HUG from us, OK!!!! See you soon!!!! Love you Girl.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Emerald’s family

Ray Anne’s family

Tyler’s family

Lauryn’s family

Melody’s family

Sarah’s family (www2.caringbridge.org/fl/sarahp)

Melissa’s family (www3.caringbridge.org/nj/melissa

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!!

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Michael: Also fighting with all his strength .

Benjamin: Having a really hard time and needing prayers (www3.caringbridge.org/oh/benjaminj )

Our buddy, Ryan: Started new treatments, and doing well.

Nicole: Needing prayers

Fisher: The cutest guy ever, still having those headaches and “brain cracking” problems.

Haley Vincent: Battling back after her problems.

Haley Vanna: Having an MRI on March 21st.

Matthew: Surgery scheduled for June 21st.

Beautiful little Catia: Awaiting scan results today or tomorrow.

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, MRI results were not good. http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Cpt Daniel Gade (http://www2.caringbridge.org/dc/danielgade/) Getting bad news on nerve damage.

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer. (www.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown)

Justin Wyatt: Surgery postponed until April 5. Also check out the really “cool” surprise he received… (www3.caringbridge.org/nj/justinw)

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) Still in need of prayers.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder. Good news, possibly misdiagnosed and his disorder may be treatable and not terminal. Lots of prayers needed.

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is still in need of prayers, but doing BETTER!!! www3.caringbridge.org/va/jordanbelcher/

Pam Carman: Doing better, but has lots of procedures to still go through. www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/ . Pam has been such a wonderful supporter for Cheyenne. Thank you Pam for everything!!!!!!!

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Doug: In Iraq

Michael Tackett: Iraq, (Justin's dad)

Also the cutest little boy in the world, Caden, is having a benefit on April the 3rd. So if you live around San Angelo, I hope to see you there.

Chey's grandma Barger (85) released from rehab., now healing at home, thank you for your prayers.

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of March, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella March Featured Friends

Krysten (11) likes cats, aquamarine, Hillary Duff, arts$ crafts, drawing,
jewelry making and playing guitar

Gaston (adult male) likes reading, literature, and poetry

Linda (54) likes the color lavender, chihuahuas, baseball and folk/country
music
cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Saturday, March 5, 2005 7:28 PM CST

3/12/05

This evening, Cheyenne's very loved caringbridge sister, Miss Emerald Maes, joined our baby in Heaven. You know that those two are doing some catchup and having fun. We miss you Emerald. You girls save us a place, ok!!

Please let Kimberly know that you care. The next few days, weeks, and months are so, so hard.

Thank you and God Bless

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3/9/05

God claimed another beautiful young lady yesterday evening. Please remember Ray Anne's family in your prayers as they attempt to live their lives, awaiting the eternal reunion.

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UPDATE 3/7/05

Please pray for Cheyenne's caringbridge sister, Emerald. Cheyenne just loved Emerald like she had known her all her life. Kimberly says that Emerald is talking to someone.. Well, I bet I know who that someone is, our baby girl, Cheyenne!!!!

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UPDATE 845pm

Cheyenne's Team, the ASU Rambelles, is now the LONE STAR CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS!!! Congratulations Girls and Coaches!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I need to begin this update by again thanking Coach Slate, Christene, and all the Mystic Slates Basketball Team. Our email has been overflowing with notes and thank you’s from so many children that have received a card, letter, or package in Cheyenne’s honor. Coach, not only have you honored our little girl’s memory beautifully, but brought a smile to many, many little faces that need it.

Of course, we continue to miss Cheyenne for everything that we are worth. Every second of every minute our thoughts are of Cheyenne. We miss her so, so, so much!!!!!!

Cheyenne continues to give us little signs of her presence, which helps us considerably. I wish our faith was strong enough without the little signs, but God is good enough to give us confirmation of our “Punky Little” watching over us.

A couple of weeks ago the little bird that we call Cheyenne’s Mockingbird could no longer be found around the house. On Friday of last week in the late evening, I actually walked our property looking for signs of the bird, but no luck. I had a little conversation with God about how he must think that I am a little stronger than I am, and how I really needed that bird to keep me company.

The first thing the next morning when I went outside, that little bird flew right up to me, cocking its head and fussing at me.

A few days later the Mockingbird was gone again. Well, on my daily trip to Lawnhaven Cemetery a little Mockingbird flew right up to me, talking to me and staying within a few feet of me the entire time I was there. So now, we do not have a Mockingbird at home, but back at the Cemetery where we first encountered it.

Today, even though it was raining really hard when Donna and I arrived at Lawnhaven, there was this little Mockingbird sitting on Cheyenne’s marker waiting for us. I believe Donna was able to take a few photos of it, which I am sure she will post over the next day or so.

Also for those following the ASU Rambelles Basketball, they are playing tonight for the Lone Star Conference Championship. You can bet that Cheyenne is there watching her team continue in the playoffs.

Thank you to everyone that continues to hold our family and all the other families up to the Lord in prayer.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Hey girl,

You know how much we miss you!!!!!! Bet you are having some fun. Save some of that for Dear old Mom and Dad. McKayla told us about you helping her out, she sure does miss her Auntie Chey Chey…. We love you baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Melody’s family

Sarah’s family (www2.caringbridge.org/fl/sarahp)

Melissa’s family (www3.caringbridge.org/nj/melissa

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!!

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Rayanne: Also still fighting this horrible tumor and having a really rough time.

Michael: Also fighting with all his strength .

Beautiful Emerald: Being so brave and courageous with horrible news of the tumors growing. Will be celebrating her birthday Tomorrow!!!

Benjamin: Having a really hard time and needing prayers (www3.caringbridge.org/oh/benjaminj )

Our buddy, Ryan: Started new treatments, praying for a miracle.

Nicole: Needing prayers

David: Having anMRI March 10th.

Krysten: Having a rough time on radiation (www.caringbridge.org/nj/krysten )

Fisher: The cutest guy ever, still having those headaches and “brain cracking” problems.

Haley Vincent: New problems causing some concerns, still battling problems that are very serious, as she recuperates from the bleed and now is off the transplant list for 6 mos.

Lakota: Our beautiful little friend, as she continues to battle problems. She has tests and bloodwork scheduled for March 9th.

Katia: Having a lung function test on March 7th.

Haley Vanna: Having an MRI on March 21st.

Matthew: Surgery scheduled for June 21st.

Beautiful little Catia: Having scans on March 16th.

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, MRI results were not good. http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Craig: Having scans next week.

Cpt Daniel Gade (http://www2.caringbridge.org/dc/danielgade/) Doing better, but has a long way to go.

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer. Having scans on March 8th. (www.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown)

Justin Wyatt: Anticipating surgery this week. Also check out the really “cool” surprise he received… (www3.caringbridge.org/nj/justinw)

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) Still in need of prayers.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder. Good news, possibly misdiagnosed and his disorder may be treatable and not terminal. Lots of prayers needed.

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is still in need of prayers, but doing BETTER!!! www3.caringbridge.org/va/jordanbelcher/

Pam Carman: Battling many problems, recently nausea and vomiting and now in the hospital for surgery. www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/ . Pam has been such a wonderful supporter for Cheyenne. Thank you Pam for everything!!!!!!!

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Doug: In Iraq
Michael Tackett: Iraq, (Justin's dad)

Also the cutest little boy in the world, Caden, is having a benefit on April the 3rd. So if you live around San Angelo, I hope to see you there.

Chey's grandma Barger (85) released from rehab., now healing at home, thank you for your prayers.

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of March, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella March Featured Friends

Krysten (11) likes cats, aquamarine, Hillary Duff, arts$ crafts, drawing,
jewelry making and playing guitar

Gaston (adult male) likes reading, literature, and poetry

Linda (54) likes the color lavender, chihuahuas, baseball and folk/country
music
cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Saturday, February 26, 2005 11:53 PM CST

UPDATE 03/04/05

Our Beautiful friend Melody, is now flying high in the Heavens. She has joined so, so many, that we miss so much here on earth. Please remember Rob, Deb, Devin and their family in your prayers.

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UPDATE 2/28/05

Sweet little Ryan really needs prayers today. He was rushed to the ER and admitted early this morning. We are praying that his problems are just a bug, and not tumor related.

Cheyenne's Grandma Barger is presently (3/4/05) on the rehab. floor of the hospital healing well, (thank you for your prayers) however the cause of the bleed is yet to be determimed. More tests will follow in a few weeks.

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2/27/05

Melissa earned her wings this evening, and is now free of cancer, flying high with Cheyenne. Please remember her family in your prayers, as I know that they need them.

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I have added a small (actually a rather lengthy) note at the end of Cheyenne's Journal, immediately after the Tumbleweed Foundation information. Though not necessary, I just wanted to mention our thoughts on all the little signs that we get from our beautiful daughter, Cheyenne. Thanks Punky Little!!!!!!

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This evening our little girl, Miss Cheyenne Marie Fiveash, was honored by so many friends at the Junell Center (the ASU Sports Complex) where a bench and silk tree/plant were dedicated in Cheyenne’s memory. Oh Boy, is it something!!!! Oh boy, was the ceremony something!!! There is not a doubt in mind that Cheyenne was there, taking it all in, and smiling, smiling, smiling.

To begin with, the halls were full of people. Relatives, friends, Mystic Slates teammates, the ASU Rambelles, coaches and instructors, Martial Arts Academies Karate friends, scrapbooking friends, caringbridge friends Jana (http://www3.caringbridge.org/tx/jana/index.htm) and her family came all the way from Dallas, and on and on….. Then there is the absolutely Beautiful bench and plant!!!!! Talk about being placed in a real place of honor, at the entrance to the future ASU Sports Hall of Fame Wall and Trophy display area in the complex!!!!!!!!

Above the bench a beautiful plaque is mounted, identifying the bench and plant as being placed there in Loving Memory of Cheyenne Marie Fiveash, a beloved Mystic Slates Teammate and Honorary ASU Rambelle, # 00!!!!!!

The ceremony dedicating the bench and plant was breathtaking. Yes, it brought a few tears, but after the tears came the smiles.

In the ceremony, Cheyenne’s Coach Slate, her teammates and friends Leah and Christene, and her friends from church and scrapbooking Rachel and Lisa read a few memories of our pumpkin, talked about their friendship, her courage, generosity, faith, and ability to always give it her all.

Then, to our surprise, letters from some of our dear Caringbridge friends and families were read. Letters from Rob (Melody’s dad), Cheryl (Haley’s mom), Andrea (Ryan’s mom), and Terry (Julianna Banana’s dad). Now I have to admit, this is when the tears started to flow for dear old dad. I also understand that additional letters are forthcoming………………………

But the dedication didn’t just stop there. It seems that Leah, Christene, Rachel, Lisa, Coach, and many, many other friends decided that to honor Cheyenne, they needed to go a step further. Many, many cards and packages, including 7 quilts, were put together in memory of Cheyenne, and are being sent out to all the children on the Tumbleweed site, and to several of the children linked on Cheyenne’s website. I understand that a few have already gone out, and those children and parents have been keeping it a little secret!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After the dedication, what looked like a hundred balloons, each with a note attached to Cheyenne, were sent up into Heaven. It was a beautiful sight. I know that Cheyenne and her friends all have a balloon tonight.

Donna and I were also given a huge scrapbook put together by the girls, so full of many, many memories.

I know that I am forgetting most of what happened today and I am praying I won’t forget to thank someone, but I know that I probably will, so please forgive me.

There are so, so, so many people to thank for this wonderful honor for our girl, and our family.

Coach Slate, Coach Brooks, Christene, Leah, Rachel, Lisa, The Scrapbook University, Angelo State University, The Martial Arts Academies, The Mystic Slates, The ASU Rambelles, and all our and Cheyenne’s wonderful, wonderful friends. Thank you, Thank you Thank you!!!!!!! May God Bless each and every one of you. You brought some joy into our lives tonight. In case you haven’t noticed, nothing pleases us more than hearing Cheyenne’s name and being able to talk about all her adventures and her life. You really have no idea how wonderful this has made us feel!!!!

Following the dedication, we were able to visit everyone at a reception, awaiting the ASU Rambelles last regular season game.

Oh, and did I mention, the ASU Rambelles are now, as of tonight’s BIG WIN, the Lone Star Conference, South Division Champions!!!!!!!!! Playoff’s begin Tuesday………

I have not been able to go through all our friends websites, but I have updated most of the prayer list below. I do know that Melody and Melissa are in urgent need of prayers tonight. Also, Cheyenne’s Grandma Barger (Donna’s mom) fell again tonight and was rushed to the hospital, so please remember her in your prayers.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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Punky Little,

This was something tonight, wasn’t it?? So many people love you and you have touched so many lives. Mom and I miss you more each day. Can’t wait for the time you will be showing us around!!!! Also thanks for the Mockingbird again, I was getting worried, as I guess you know that, ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We love you to the moon and back, forever and ever, and miss you even more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Sarah’s family (www2.caringbridge.org/fl/sarahp)

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!!

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Melody: Her little body growing tired of fighting and preparing for her flight to Heaven.

Rayanne: Also still fighting this horrible tumor.

Michael: Also fighting with all his strength.

Beautiful Emerald: Being so brave and courageous with horrible news of the tumors growing. Will be celebrating her birthday next week.

Benjamin: Having a really hard time and needing prayers (www3.caringbridge.org/oh/benjaminj )

Our buddy, Ryan: Last MRI was not good, starting new treatments.

Melissa: Really needing extra prayers, having another seizure today (www3.caringbridge.org/nj/melissa )

Nicole: Needing prayers

David: Having a rough time on chemo

Krysten: Having a rough time (www.caringbridge.org/nj/krysten )

Christal: Getting her new braces soon and using her walker better

Fisher: The cutest guy ever, still having those headaches and “brain cracking” problems.

Haley Vincent: New problems causing some concerns, still battling problems that are very serious, as she recuperates from the bleed and now is off the transplant list for 6 mos.

Lakota: Our beautiful little friend, as she continues to battle problems.

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, MRI results were not good. http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Cpt Daniel Gade (http://www2.caringbridge.org/dc/danielgade/) Having pain and infection causing major concerns.

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer. (www.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown)

Justin Wyatt: Had one procedure and now preparing for another. (www3.caringbridge.org/tnj/justinw)

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) Still in need of prayers.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder. Good news, possibly misdiagnosed and his disorder may be treatable and not terminal. Lots of prayers needed.

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is still in need of prayers. www3.caringbridge.org/va/jordanbelcher/

Pam Carman: Battling many problems, recently nausea and vomiting and I believe now in the hospital for surgery. www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/ . Pam has been such a wonderful supporter for Cheyenne. Thank you Pam for everything!!!!!!!

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Doug: In Iraq

Also the cutest little boy in the world, Caden, is having a benefit on April the 3rd. So if you live around San Angelo, I hope to see you there.

Chey's grandma Barger (85) fell again this evening and is in the hospital, please pray for healing.

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of February, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella February Featured Friends

Haley (6) likes horseback riding, dance (ballet), and Hello Kitty

Kevin (9) likes cats, legos, and Nascar

Sue (39) likes dogs, football, and family fun

Dave (adult) info to come...

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Faith!!!! What would we do without Faith? Faith in God’s Promise. Faith of Eternal Life. Faith that our babies are safe in Heaven. Faith in knowing that we will be able to see them again. Faith in our being reunited, FOREVER!!!

The loss of a child is the worst possible, horrible, unbearable experience in life. If anything in the world could test ones faith, it would most certainly be this. The loss of your baby brings many, many emotions, including uncertainty of God’s promises, feelings of being abandoned by God, questioning of God’s reasons, His decisions, anger towards God, a lessening or loss of faith, and becoming cynical, just to name a few.

For us, at least for me, all of the above was true. As we mourned and grieved the loss of our precious Cheyenne, our family’s faith began to falter. As we tried to just make it through the next moment, it became harder and harder. We continued to attend church, listen to the sermons, read the bible, but the feelings and thoughts were still there. They could not be shut out. They would run rampant through our heads without any control.

Then one day God sent Bishop Pfiffer to visit us. He came EVERY day while we were with Cheyenne at the funeral home. We are not Catholic, we do not attend his churches, but there he was nonetheless, giving us support. He visited and he talked. He told us things about Heaven that we did not know. He assured us that Cheyenne was safe in Heaven, and would be sending us little signs that she is indeed, alright and awaiting us. He explained that Heaven is right here with us, THAT OUR BABY IS RIGHT HERE WITH US. How she can see us, be around us, watch over us. He made us feel better, and restored a little of our faith.

Then another day, God sent Sarah Tackett, grieving the loss of her precious Justin, just days earlier. Sarah gave us a book, called “Heaven”, which, through research of scripture, describes Heaven. Again, through scripture, this book explained that Heaven is right here with us, OUR BABY IS HERE. Reading this book, restored a little more of our faith and gave us some Peace.

But life is still hard, very hard. So, on another day, God sends us signs from Cheyenne. Signs that she is HERE!! Signs that she is alright and watching over us from Heaven!! Some signs are small, some dramatic. Some signs are to us, some to our friends. But each sign gives us a little more peace, and restores our faith. I don’t know if God allows Cheyenne to send the signs, if God sends angels to do the work, or God Himself takes time from his busy schedule to strengthen our faith. But it is done and we are thankful!

Our faith is being restored, slowly but surely. God is opening our eyes. We turn on the television, and a sermon seems to address us. A television program chronicles exactly what we have read and now know to be true about Heaven. The many books that we find, help us sort through the bible scripture and again chronicle what we are experiencing, what we now know to be true. Surely, God must be placing all of this in front of us, to help us through our grief and restore our faith.

Now God sends us friends, supporters, and many, many who care. Some have traveled this horrible road of grief, some preparing to travel this road, and some just because they care.

The point to all my ramblings, simply that through our recent experiences, God, an Awesome and Powerful God, is bringing us back into his arms. Restoring our faith! Giving us Peace! Causing us much anticipation as to the day that we will join our Punky Little, our baby, our Cheyenne!

I am sorry if there are some that do not understand, do not believe, or feel that their God would not do such a thing. You see, I know that there is only One God, he is Powerful, he is Awesome, and he is capable of anything and everything. And most importantly, he is watching over my baby as he watches over me. He cares enough about our family that he did not want us to stray.

Our days are still hard. At times it is struggle from moment to moment. But with all that God sends our way, it is better. We miss our Cheyenne more than words can describe. She is our baby, our daughter, our sister, our aunt, our best friend. I pray that God continues to bless us with the signs that she is here with us, awaiting us, keeping us company, and watching over us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Sunday, February 20, 2005 11:34 PM CST

UPDATE Tuesday 2/22/05

If you get a chance, please visit Emerald's site and let her know that you care. We were praying that her problems were from a fluid filled cyst that could be drained, that was not the case.

Thank you
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UPDATE Monday 2/21/05

Tonight, Donna and I were the VERY PROUD recipients of Cheyenne’s medal for being one of the Ambassadors for the Shannon Hospital Children’s Miracle Network for 2004. We sat at the table with Justin’s family, so there were plenty of tears as they showed a slideshow which included our pumpkin and Justin. And the tears didn’t just come from our table. Those two really won some hearts during their short time here on earth. You know, I just have to wonder what those two are up to???? Big time adventure I am sure!!!!

During the reception, which honored all the major contributors, introduced the 2005 children ambassadors, and honored the 2004 children, I learned that almost $300,000 was raised last year for the children. Isn’t that wonderful????

Of course, this caused me to think about the time Cheyenne donated almost every penny she had to the CMN Radiothon, “because the children needed the money more than she did!” Cheyenne was absolutely the most caring, generous, brave and thoughtful person I have ever known. I have a long way to go to become 1/10th of the person that she had become in her 13 short years. I guess what I am getting at is, “ I AM SO PROUD TO BE CHEYENNE’S DADDY”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meeting the 2005 Miracle Children was also very special. And by the way, included in the 2005 group are Coach Brooks’ (of the ASU Rambelles) beautiful children, Bailee and Kannon. They are a couple of sweethearts!!!

Thank you ALL for keeping us in your prayers, we still need it VERY much as do all the children battling these horrible illnesses and all the parents of those children as well as those trying to survive without their sweet children here on earth with them.

I know that Sarah’s parents, spending the first night without their baby, are having a horrible time tonight. If you get a chance please let them know you care, as well as the other children who are struggling tonight. To name a few, Emerald, Melody, Michael, Rayanne, Melissa, Benjamin and Nicole.

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Several of our friends really, really need prayers tonight, so I wanted to update the prayer list below. There are so, so many of our friends that are not doing real well or have had unexpected problems come up. I promise, that sometime in the “near” future, I will re-arrange Cheyenne’s website and create appropriate links to these as well as a few others. I think it is probably a “mental-emotional” thing, in which I have a hard time sitting down and doing it. But I will eventually.

Donna has been spending her time working, and I really haven’t done much at all. The weather has been too bad for 3 weeks to work outside (on those non-cold, rainy days, we seem to have other things on the agenda).

I also wanted to share a couple of things with you that have made us feel better over the past few days.

Of course, the pillow is hard to beat, but although not quite as dramatic, our little Miss Cheyenne also sent us a valentine’s day gift. As I continued my search of the house for the “Cheyenne” pillow (we must have really put it in a safe and secure place!!!!) I had the occasion to look under our bed. Now, you should know that recently I had cleaned under the bed and there was nothing, repeat nothing, under the bed 2 weeks ago.

A little over a year ago, while in San Antonio for treatment, and while in a gift store, Miss Cheyenne saw a little metal “ladybug” contained in a wooden box. These things are really cute, their legs wiggle and move when you hold it, and they are beautifully painted. Well, for those that don’t know, our friend Katia is AKA Ladybug. So Cheyenne just had to buy it for her. She used all her money for the purchase, so dear old dad offered to buy her one also, if she wanted. She picked one out for herself and we left the store. As soon as we arrived home she mailed off the ladybug to Katia and I later noticed that she had placed her “bug” in her bedroom on a wall shelf which is reserved for her precious “treasures”. I never gave it a second thought, and we didn’t even open it to look at it.

Well, on Valentine’s day, there it was, under our bed. Our bedroom is on the opposite end of the house from Cheyenne’s. I pulled it out from under the bed, opened it, and guess what??? It was a Valentine’s Day bug. Pretty pink with lots and lots of hearts painted on it. And in the top of the box lid, a message of “I Love You!!!

How about that!!!! We love you too PUNKY LITTLE!!!!

I don’t know how many of you watch the television channel “PAX”, but last night there was a very, very interesting hour long show on this channel. The show was called “In Search of Heaven”.

Well, I have to tell you, it fits right into everything that we have read and have been experiencing. It seems that using Quantum Physics, several scientists have determined that Heaven does indeed exist. (DUHHH) Also, that when a person’s body dies, the person’s characteristics, personality, thoughts, and being, continue to exist. Now the biggy, these scientists now believe, that when a person dies, they not only continue to exist, but continue to exist right here with us, just in a different realm that we as the living , just can’t yet see or hear..

Of course, prior to watching this television show, we were fortunate enough to have several long talks with Bishop Pfiffer and to have read the book “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn (based on scripture). Both the Bishop and the book Heaven explain this very same thing. When Bishop Pfiffer told us that Cheyenne would be leaving us little messages, I had no idea what to expect. Now we know, and it makes us SMILE!!!!!!

It is comforting to know that our baby is right here with us, watching over us, and leaving us little signs that she is alright and waiting on us.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Punky Little,

We love you with all our hearts and miss you even more. We can’t imagine the adventures and fun you are having exploring Heaven with all your friends. Just think, someday you will get to “show” us around. You’ll be an expert by then. Love you bunches, baby. Hope you and your friends got all the balloons that we sent.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!! Special prayers for McKenzie’s, Maddie’s, Connor’s, Isaac’s, Celeste’s, Troy's, and Olivia’s families.

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Melody: Still fighting will all her might

Rayanne: Also still fighting this horrible tumor.

Michael: Also fighting with all his strength.

Sarah: Unresponsive, but her little body not giving up (www2.caringbridge.org/fl/sarahp ).

Beautiful Emerald: Having very scary problems and symptoms.

Benjamin: Needing prayers (www3.caringbridge.org/oh/benjaminj )

Our buddy, Ryan: Last MRI was not good, starting new treatments.

Melissa: Really needing extra prayers (www3.caringbridge.org/nj/melissa )

Nicole: Needing prayers

Mitch: Having an MRI Tuesday.

David: Having a rough time on chemo

Krysten: Having a rough time (www.caringbridge.org/nj/krysten )

Christal: Getting her new braces soon and using her walker better

Fisher: The cutest guy ever, still having those headaches and “brain cracking” problems.

Our “Bud” Kody Bear: having a few problems and worrying his mom.

Haley Vincent: Still battling some problems that can be very serious, as she recuperates from the bleed and now is off the transplant list for 6 mos.

Lakota: Our beautiful little friend, as she continues to battle problems.

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, MRI results were not good. http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Cpt Daniel Gade (http://www2.caringbridge.org/dc/danielgade/)

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer. (www.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown)

Justin Wyatt: Had one procedure and now preparing for another. (www3.caringbridge.org/tnj/justinw)

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) Still in need of prayers.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder. Good news, possibly misdiagnosed and his disorder may be treatable and not terminal. Lots of prayers needed.

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is still in need of prayers. www3.caringbridge.org/va/jordanbelcher/

Pam Carman: Battling many problems, recently nausea and vomiting. www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/ . Pam has been such a wonderful supporter for Cheyenne. Thank you Pam for everything!!!!!!!

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Doug: In Iraq

Also the cutest little boy in the world, Caden, is having a benefit on April the 3rd. So if you live around San Angelo, I hope to see you there.

Chey's grandma Barger (85) fell and broke her wrist and one rib, please pray for healing.

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of February, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella February Featured Friends

Haley (6) likes horseback riding, dance (ballet), and Hello Kitty

Kevin (9) likes cats, legos, and Nascar

Sue (39) likes dogs, football, and family fun

Dave (adult) info to come...

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Sunday, February 13, 2005 1:18 AM CST

As the days progress, sweet Melody and Rayanne and their families need lots and lots of prayer. Those two brave, beautiful young ladies are fighting so hard. May God Bless them and their entire families.

Emerald was taken to the ER today. Please remember her in your prayers as they try to determine what is causing her problems.

I just realized that I have yet to put a link to Melissa's site, so I thought I had better put it in the update until I have time to rework Cheyenne's site. Melissa is a beautiful young lady that is not doing real well. Her site is www3.caringbridge.org/nj/melissa . She could use some prayers right now, and I am sure would love to have a few guestbook entries.

Also, through Melissa's site, I was introduced to another beautiful young lady named Krysten, that just started her caringbridge site. She also is having a rough time right now and could use prayers. Her site is www.caringbridge.org/nj/krysten .

Michael's mom also updated his site, and Michael and his family really need prayers. This little boy has fought so long and so hard.

Thank you so much for caring for these wonderful, beautiful children!!!

UPDATE

Please visit our buddy Ryan's site and let them know that he is in your prayers. The results of the MRI were not good. Ryan is such a sweetheart, and is so deserving of God's miracle of a long, long life here on earth. Thank you.

Also, please remember sweet little Melody and her family in your prayers as she continues to fight this beast of a diffuse pontine glioma.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

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DON’T FORGET TO READ THE INFORMATION AT THE END OF THE JOURNAL REGARDING THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER, RUNNING FROM NOW UNTIL THE 18TH!!!!!!

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After entering the little update earlier tonight, I thought I should expound on it some, so people don’t think we are totally, completely crazy. A little crazy, OK, but not completely, Yet!

I know that the implications of what happened this evening is mind boggling for those that have never experienced what we have, so I understand that there will probably be many people thinking, “those poor people”. Even for Donna and I, it really took awhile to sink in. It is now 1am and I am writing an update, so that should tell you something.

Since Cheyenne has gone to Heaven we have experienced many, many instances of our baby telling us that she is here around us, is alright, and is watching over us. There has been the horn honking, the wind chimes ringing without wind, the rain bells ringing without wind or rain, the Mockingbird visiting me daily, Cinnamon acting very strange, the note to Mommy next to her bed, the dreams, the actual physical feelings of Cheyenne’s presence, her visiting her friends, loved ones, and caringbridge friends, and on and on. In each of these instances, there was a “feeling” of Cheyenne’s presence. Also, other than the “feeling” of Cheyenne’s presence, the messages always seem to come at precisely the right moment, when we ask for them or need them. To us, those were the factors that led us to know, 100 percent, that they were messages from Cheyenne. Without the “feeling” of her presence a person that has never experienced anything such as this could easily explain away the circumstances. Wishful thinking, chance, going crazy, etc…..

But now, how does one explain away this little lavender pillow. It came at precisely the right time, immediately after I asked for more than the Mockingbird, more than the bells, immediately after I asked for Cheyenne to come to us. Honestly, in my mind I was asking for a beautiful dream of my baby. For her to come to me in a lifelike dream. Oh, and for those wondering, Donna was probably not even aware of my requests, as I normally speak to Cheyenne in private, outside, in the car, etc…

When did Cheyenne sew it?? Donna and I do not have clue. Neither of us has ever seen it prior to this evening. But even if one assumes that she made it several months ago when she was sewing, why would a little 12 year old girl sew the words, “I’m here” onto a piece of cloth and make a small pillow out of it? Then hide it in her closet so that on a day in the future when our emotions were running very high, when we were asking her to be with us, it would just fall out into her Mom’s arms as she is retrieving her Basketball jersey to take to the ASU game.

Far too many coincidences. Far, Far too many.

So with that I will leave you. For me, dreams of my Pumpkin Cheyenne do not come that often. I try and try, but for some reason I have only been able to dream of my pumpkin twice since she has gone to Heaven. I have a feeling about tonight, though. So, with a smile on my face, and that does not happen that often, I am off to bed.

Also, I understand that some have had difficulties getting onto Melody’s site. Rob updated tonight, and sweet little Melody is having some new difficulties, but is hanging in there and having a few giggles.

Also, Cheyenne’s team, the ASU Rambelles WON tonight, of course!!!!!!! The next game is on Tuesday, and when they win, I believe they will be the Lone Star Conference Champions. I know that Cheyenne is smiling over that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Punky Little,

Oh, Baby, We love you bunches, miss you bunches, and you made us smile today. Can’t wait to be with you someday. We are going to do some exploring when I get up there. It will be lots and lots of fun, I promise.

Love you sweetheart
Mommy and Daddy
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!! Special prayers for McKenzie’s, Maddie’s, Connor’s, Isaac’s, Celeste’s, Troy's, and Olivia’s families.

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Melody: Our beautiful little friend, not doing real well.

Benji: Cheyenne’s buddy, Getting MRI results Monday. Pray that Benji’s headaches are just normal headaches.

Haley Vincent: Still battling some problems that can be very serious, as she recuperates from the bleed. Back in the hospital.

Haley Vana: As she starts a new chemo due to tumor growth.

Cute little Fisher Bug: As he battles the flu, and also having headaches and is anticipating Dr appointments to determine cause.

Lakota: Our beautiful little friend, as she continues to battle problems.

Ryan, doing well and has MRI re-scheduled for Feb 15th.

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, MRI results were not good. http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Nicole: MRI indicated growth.

Michael Dornauer: On Hospice, not doing really well.

Ray-Anne: Still battling with all of her heart. Love you girl!!!!!!!!!!!

Bailee: still running a fever

Jackson: Just out of the hospital.

Craig: Still battling an infection.

Cpt Daniel Gade (http://www2.caringbridge.org/dc/danielgade/)

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer. (www.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown)

Justin Wyatt: Having problems and is scheduled for procedures and Dr on the 17th. (www3.caringbridge.org/tnj/justinw)

Jessie: Her liver numbers are still off but doing well.

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Tyler Tucker: Anticipating surgery in the near future

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is having serious difficulities. Just completed 4 surgeries, now in the RMH and outpatient. www3.caringbridge.org/va/jordanbelcher/

Pam Carman: Anticipating a cornea transplant as well as other possible surgery again. www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/ . Pam has been such a wonderful supporter for Cheyenne. Thank you Pam for everything!!!!!!!

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Doug: In Iraq
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PRAYERS ANSWERED!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Luke: Stable MRI

Matthew: Stable MRI

Cole (James’ brother) : Home from Iraq, safe and sound!!!!!!

Capt Daniel Gade: Having improvement but still in need of prayers.

Jordan Belcher: Being discharged and now in the RMH and outpatient.

Kaidrie: MRI STABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David: MRI CLEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haley Vana: Surgery went well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emerald: Doing better. Just look at that BEAUTIFUL SMILE AND THAT BEAUTIFUL LITTLE PUPPY!!!!!!!!!

Kody Bear: Having GREAT days!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of February, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella February Featured Friends

Haley (6) likes horseback riding, dance (ballet), and Hello Kitty

Kevin (9) likes cats, legos, and Nascar

Sue (39) likes dogs, football, and family fun

Dave (adult) info to come...

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Friday, February 4, 2005 8:47 PM CST

DON’T FORGET TO READ THE INFORMATION AT THE END OF THE JOURNAL REGARDING THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER, RUNNING FROM NOW UNTIL THE 18TH!!!!!!

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UPDATE 2/12/05 8:30pm

I had to share this tonight!!!!!

Over the past few days, we have had some pretty emotional days. Some days are just like that. Yesterday and today were especially hard for me. Over the past two days I have asked Cheyenne several times to please continue to let us know that she is here with us. This evening at 4:30pm I found Cheyenne’s basketball shoes, just sitting there, not being used. It really hurt. Through my tears I asked Cheyenne again to come back to us, we miss her so, so much.

About 30 minutes later, we were preparing to go to the ASU Rambelles basketball game, and Donna went into Cheyenne’s closet to get her ASU basketball jersey to take to the game. You could never guess what would fall out of the closet!!!!!!!!!!

Several months ago Cheyenne had asked her mom to teach her how to sew on the sewing machine. Donna handed her some lavender colored material, showed her how to use the machine, and before you knew it, Cheyenne had made a small pillow with her name in cursive sewn on the outside. That pillow is now a treasure for us. That was the only thing that we knew she had sewn.

Tonight, 30 minutes after asking our baby to come back and be with us, a small lavender colored pillow, with the words “I’m here” sewn on the outside, fell out of the closet into Donna’s arms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Donna loaded a photo of the little pillow, and we have turned the house upside down looking for the one with "Cheyenne" sewn on it, but no luck yet. Most likely we put it up in a safe place and have no idea where that safe place is.

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UPDATE 2/10/05 9pm

Thanks to Bonnie, I was told that Melissa (www3.caringbridge.org/nj/melissa) is in the hospital and not doing well at all. Melissa was one of the Featured Friends for Audrey's Umbrella for December. Please remember this young lady in your prayers tonight and over the next few days.

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UPDATE 6pm Feb 6tg

Little Melody really needs prayers today. Also, her Aunt Sissy has asked that we light a candle for Melody.

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A few of our friends could really use prayers over the next few days and weeks so I thought I should update the prayer list.

Also, if you are considering donating to Tumbleweed, please go to their site and read about sweet little Kaitlin. As Kaitlin is fighting for her life, Tumbleweed is trying to make life a little easier for her family, financially. After all, a mom and dad really need to be with their little girl at the hospital.

Also, if you have an opportunity, be sure and check out Emerald’s site. That is one cute little puppy. A Chihuahua, of course!!!! Think Cheyenne had something to do with that, Ha!!!!!!!! Love you ES!!!!!!!!

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Life seems to continue, although there is not a second of the day that our thoughts aren’t of Cheyenne. We miss her so, so, so terribly much. I guess it must be hard to understand for one that hasn’t traveled this road, but it is so very painful, every minute of every day. A huge part of us is gone, and will never be replaced while on this earth. The day that we are reunited with Cheyenne will be ONE HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!! Thanks to God’s promise, we know we will get to be with her again.

Cheyenne continues to touch people everyday. What an amazing little girl, young lady, our baby, my buddy, my best friend….

Monday morning, Donna and I will be attending a meeting at Shannon Hospital, where, thanks to our baby, Shannon will be announcing that they are now an Official Caringbridge sponsor. Thank you Shannon, Caringbridge is such an important aspect of support for families facing serious illnesses.

Also, while speaking to Holly at Shannon Pediatric Unit about possibilities for the money that was donated to the Shannon Children’s Miracle Network, she told me a little story. It seems that this gentleman was so touched by Cheyenne’s story, and hearing her on the radiothon, donating her own hard earned money, he decided to honor Cheyenne by building a beautiful fish pond, with waterfalls and all, at the Pediatric Unit for all the children to enjoy. Donna and I hope to meet this gentleman and thank him personally.

On the 21st, Donna and I will be accepting Cheyenne’s medal as a Shannon Miracle Child.

On the 26th, we will be attending the dedication of a bench and plant at the Junell Center for our Miss Cheyenne. The Junell Center is a huge University Sports Complex at ASU. If I am not mistaken, the ASU Rambelles play A&M Commerce a few hours later. You can not understand how important this is to us. You see, Cheyenne just completely, absolutely, loved the ASU Rambelles. She had said many, many times, if she could go to any university in the world, she would attend ASU and play basketball for the Rambelles. The day that they made her an honorary team member, made her the proudest girl in the world. At every home game, we take Cheyenne’s jersey and it sets on the chair next to Coach Brooks for the entire game. Although Cheyenne never made it to the bench this year in person, you can bet she is at EVERY game they play!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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Punky Little,

We miss you oh so much!!!! Thank you for letting us know every day that you are around, we really need that!!! How about that little Stinker Winker of your’s. I guess I am spoiling her, but it is for you.

Love you baby,

Mommy, Daddy, and Diana

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!! Special prayers for McKenzie’s, Maddie’s, Connor’s, Isaac’s, Celeste’s, Troy's, and Olivia’s families.

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Melody: Our beautiful little friend, not doing real well.

Benji: Cheyenne’s buddy, having an MRI soon. Pray that Benji’s headaches are just normal headaches.

Haley Vincent: Still battling some problems that can be very serious, as she recuperates from the bleed.

Haley Vana: As she starts a new chemo due to tumor growth.

Cute little Fisher Bug: As he battles the flu, and also having headaches and is anticipating Dr appointments to determine cause.

Lakota: Our beautiful little friend, as she continues to battle problems.

Ryan, doing well and has MRI re-scheduled for Feb 15th.

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, MRI results were not good. http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Nicole: MRI indicated growth.

Michael Dornauer: On Hospice, not doing really well.

Ray-Anne: Still battling with all of her heart. Love you girl!!!!!!!!!!!

Bailee: still running a fever

Jackson: Just out of the hospital.

Craig: Still battling an infection.

Cpt Daniel Gade (http://www2.caringbridge.org/dc/danielgade/)

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer. (www.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown)

Justin Wyatt: Having problems and is scheduled for procedures and Dr on the 17th. (www3.caringbridge.org/tnj/justinw)

Jessie: Her liver numbers are still off but doing well.

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Tyler Tucker: Anticipating surgery in the near future

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is having serious difficulities. Just completed 4 surgeries, now in the RMH and outpatient. www3.caringbridge.org/va/jordanbelcher/

Pam Carman: Anticipating a cornea transplant as well as other possible surgery again. www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/ . Pam has been such a wonderful supporter for Cheyenne. Thank you Pam for everything!!!!!!!

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Doug: In Iraq
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PRAYERS ANSWERED!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Luke: Stable MRI

Matthew: Stable MRI

Cole (James’ brother) : Home from Iraq, safe and sound!!!!!!

Capt Daniel Gade: Having improvement but still in need of prayers.

Jordan Belcher: Being discharged and now in the RMH and outpatient.

Kaidrie: MRI STABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David: MRI CLEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haley Vana: Surgery went well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emerald: Doing better. Just look at that BEAUTIFUL SMILE AND THAT BEAUTIFUL LITTLE PUPPY!!!!!!!!!

Kody Bear: Having GREAT days!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of February, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella February Featured Friends

Haley (6) likes horseback riding, dance (ballet), and Hello Kitty

Kevin (9) likes cats, legos, and Nascar

Sue (39) likes dogs, football, and family fun

Dave (adult) info to come...

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Saturday, January 29, 2005 8:32 PM CST

BE SURE TO READ THE INFORMATION AT THE END OF THE JOURNAL REGARDING THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER, RUNNING FROM NOW UNTIL THE 18TH!!!!!!

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Sweet little Garrett went to be with the Lord today. Now he is running, playing and having fun with Cheyenne, Connor, Maddie, Celeste, Nolan, and all the many, many children we love in Heaven.

Please pray for sweet little Haley (Haley's Home linked above). Haley may have had a massive bleed in the brain 2 days ago. Hang in there beautiful!!!!!!

Also please pray for Melody, as some of her symptoms have worsened.

Both of these children need God's miracles urgently.

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Prayer Request 1/31/05

Please pray for Donna to give her strength at work.

Also please pray for John R., that he may realize that his actions and words are very hurtful, unnecessary, and uncalled for. That he may realize that he should not speak to or treat any lady in the manner in which he has and does, much less a newly grieving mother. That his actions reflect the Christian man that he claims to be.

Also please pray for me, that I refrain from actions that are probably justified, but would make matters worse.

UPDATE

I really wanted to mention the following in the journal, but it had slipped my mind. Karie Reeves, a student at Christoval Hight School, Cheyenne's school, came by the other day with some school news. Karie is a member of the Beta Club at Christoval and was part of the recent competition at the State Level. Karie sang a solo of the song "Angel" by Sara Mclachlan and dedicated the performance in memory of Cheyenne. She told me that she could feel Cheyenne's presence with her the entire time and sang better than she had ever done. Christoval won the competition and is now enroute to Nationals!!!!!!

Also, regarding the guestbook download problem, hopefully it is now repaired. I believe I traced it back to a glich with a guestbook entry and had to delete that entry. Also Caringbridge will be archiving the guestbook again within the next day or so and this should hopefully alleviate other download problems.

Thank you and God Bless you all, each and every one!!!!

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I apologize for the length of time since the last update, but emotionally it is sometimes very difficult to do.

Since the last update, Donna and I had our wedding anniversary. Cheyenne should have been there!!! It hurts that she was not! It hurts that she is not here today. We miss her so, so very much!!

God is good to us as our little girl sends us signs regularly that she is having a blast in Heaven awaiting our arrival when the time is right. It is pretty much of a common occurrence around our household when certain things happen, to pause, and say, “CHEYENNE!!!!!”

Last week I was honored to read a draft of a book being written by a wonderful young lady, Arabella Uhry. Remember this young lady’s name, as she is now only 8 years old, and will definitely have a major impact in the world. She just may be the most intelligent, caring, compassionate, and understanding young lady in the world. I was in awe reading her work. The thought process involved as well as the structure and wording of the book give you a true insight into her heart. I am sure many of you have met her or her mom online, as they are wonderful caringbridge family supporters. Someday, this young lady may very well find the cure for cancer! And for you Arabella, the Liberty Award was very well deserved, you deserve even more!

Coach Slate recently notified us that Cheyenne’s bench and plant at the ASU Junell Center will be dedicated on February 26th at 4pm. I believe that the Rambelles play A&M Commerce later that evening at 6pm.

Earlier I had thought of a hundred things to say, but right now they allude me completely.

Thank you to everyone that continue to hold us and all the other parents who have lost their children or are going through this cancer journey up to the Lord in prayer. A special thank you to Colette, who I would write and personally thank, but it seems that I have lost her address. (Sorry)

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever

Punky Little,
We miss you stink, and love you more today than yesterday. Wait for us and save us a place ok. If it is not too much trouble, continue letting us know that you are here, we need that. Give Connor, Maddie and all your friends GREAT BIG HUGS for us, OK!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

We are soooooooooooooooo PROUD of you!!!!

Mommy and Daddy
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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

All parents trying to live life without their children. There can not be any harder task then facing a day, an hour, a minute or even a second without your baby!!!!

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Cpt Daniel Gade (http://www2.caringbridge.org/dc/danielgade/)

Melody: Our beautiful little friend, not doing real well

Taj Brown: One of Cheyenne’s and many, many other caringbridge families prayer warriors, herself suffering from cancer. (www.caringbridge.org/tx/tajbrown)

Justin Wyatt: Having problems and is scheduled for procedures and Dr on the 17th. (www3.caringbridge.org/tnj/justinw)

Lakota: Platelets continue dropping.

Jessie: Her liver numbers are still off.

Matthew: MRI on the 2nd, experiencing some problems.

Luke: MRI on the 31st.

Ryan, doing well and has MRI scheduled for Feb 2nd.

The Martin Family: http://www3.caringbridge.org/tn/kevinmartin

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, who just learned his cancer has returned http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, scans indicate tumor growth in 2 areas. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Nicole: Currently visiting her Doctors for opinions

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Home on Hospice

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Bailee: still running a fever

Tyler Tucker: Anticipating surgery in the near future

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is having serious difficulities. Just completed 4 surgeries, now in the RMH and outpatient. www3.caringbridge.org/va/jordanbelcher/

Pam Carman: Anticipating a cornea transplant as well as other possible surgery again. www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq
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PRAYERS ANSWERED!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Capt Daniel Gade: Having improvement.

Jordan Belcher: Being discharged and now in the RMH and outpatient.

Kaidrie: MRI STABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David: MRI CLEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haley Vana: Surgery went well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Garrett Burnham: Getting better each day.

Emerald: Has a bug, but doing better. Just look at that BEAUTIFUL SMILE!!!!!!!!!

Craig: New scans were CLEAR!!!!!!!!

Fisher: Scans STABLE!!!!!!

Kody Bear: Having a GREAT day!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella January Featured Friends

Christal (5) likes coloring, books, & Barbies
Dylan (2) likes hippos, painting & Blues Clues
Carol (34) likes golf, animals, & birding
Leo (45) likes classical cars, biblical geography & Nascar

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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THE TUMBLEWEED FOUNDATION FUNDRAISER

The Tumbleweed Foundation, one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities, is currently expanding its goals to include The Family Relief Fund. Tumbleweed and its wonderful volunteers have brought thousands of smiles to sick little faces across the world, including Cheyenne’s, since it was started in honor and memory of our beautiful friend, Julia Levy. This Fund is to provide financial support to families that are experiencing financial difficulty as an additional side effect of their children’s illness. This support will be in the form of three programs:

1. Provide Gas cards to families to help absorb the cost of constant trips to Doctors, Clinics, Therapies, Hospitals and Treatments.

2. Small financial grants to help pay for food and incidental expenses associated with staying in the hospital with your child.

3. Provide more substantial financial support, by helping pay some bills, when the cost of the medical care and deductibles drain the family finances.

In order to begin this very worthwhile project, The Tumbleweed Foundation is having a Fundraiser beginning immediately and running until February 18, 2005.

Until I have an opportunity to insert an appropriate link, please use the link listed above to get to The Tumbleweed Foundation website for a donation.

Also, I might mention that The Tumbleweed Foundation is offering some really cool gifts to the donors, including a Kody K bracelet. I hope to add a link as well as the Tumbleweed logo and photo of Kody’s bracelet within the next day or so.

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Wednesday, January 19, 2005 9:16 PM CST

A young Army Captain, father and husband by the name of Daniel Gade was seriously wounded in Iraq on the 10th. He was recently transferred to Walter Reed Army Medical Hospital and has a caringbridge site. He and his family really need prayers.

Also, little Brenna went to Heaven yesterday, so please remember her family in your prayers. It is so, so horrible to try to live life without your baby.

Also, a new family, thanks to Colette, that is in need of prayers is the Martin family, both father, Kevin, and son, 14 year old Ryan Martin. Their site is (http://www3.caringbridge.org/tn/kevinmartin).

Our life continues without the physical presence our baby in our day to day lives. Cheyenne was and is my inspiration. She was absolutely the most faithful, caring, loving, generous, compassionate, humorous young lady I have ever met. We learned an awfully lot from her, and continue to learn from her each day. Every second of every day is still very painful, and Cheyenne is in our constant thoughts. But realistically, we would not want it any other way. She is our daughter, our baby, our sister, our Aunt and our best friend. She is part of our lives and will be so for eternity.

Over the past few days we began the process of beginning a Cheyenne Marie Fiveash Memorial Fund account. Through this account we hope to accomplish several things. Immediately, we continue to reach out to and support other caringbridge children and families that are traveling this road of pediatric cancer. Additionally, we are in the process of starting a Memorial Scholarship for students from Christoval High School, Cheyenne’s school. Then of course, there is Lem Lem and Peter, the 2 children from Africa that Cheyenne sponsors, and all of Cheyenne’s many favorite charities, several associated with caringbridge and listed on this site, and most supporting children and families facing life threatening diseases such as cancer. Additionally, we will be visiting with Shannon Hospital within the next few days to speak with them about the funds that were donated to the Shannon Hospital Miracle Kids Network in memory of Cheyenne. They had asked us earlier if there was a specific area that Cheyenne would have wanted the money to go, and I think that we have made a tentative decision.

As Donna goes to work each day, I continue to work around the house, on Cheyenne’s Garden as well as landscaping in general around the house. The Garden itself is almost complete, although I still have to construct the water fountain. At this rate, it will probably take me at least another 2 or 3 months before it can be called complete. I took a few photos today of the Garden as it now stands and if I get a chance, I will post one of them.

Someone asked in earlier guestbook entries if we had seen an eagle since Cheyenne had gone to Heaven. As rare as they are in this area, we now actually have 2 Mexican Golden Eagles hanging around the house. One very large one and another about ½ that size. In my entire life I had only seen 1 that was not in captivity, and now see 2 every day. The distressing thing about it is that we have new lambs, which is a favorite food of some eagles.

Cheyenne’s Mockingbird and Cheyenne’s baby Cinnamon are doing well. Both getting completely spoiled and fat from my pampering. As I work on the Garden during the day, both give me good company.

Last night we attended the monthly meeting of Compassionate Friends, and met new parents that have lost their children. There are so, so many parents living without their children.

Tomorrow night we plan to attend the ASU Rambelles basketball game. Of course, Cheyenne’s # 00 jersey will be sitting there on the bench next to Coach Brooks. They had an unfortunate loss last night, but with Cheyenne in attendance tomorrow, I expect big things.

Thank you for all the continued prayers for all of us and all of our friends. I know that the prayer list is getting long. I am now praying for the prayer list to become shorter, and the list of children doing well to grow in length. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Very Proud Daddy

Punky Little,

We miss you more today that yesterday, and will miss you even more tomorrow. As you know, we are taking good care of your little Cinnamon Sugar. Hope to see you soon. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Little Brenna’s family

All parents trying to live life without their children.

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Cpt Daniel Gade (http://www2.caringbridge.org/dc/danielgade/)

Melody: Our beautiful little friend, not doing real well

Ian: Anticipating surgery in 2 weeks.

Ryan, doing well and has MRI scheduled for Feb 2nd.

Christal: Having balance problems

Mitch: Feeling very sick and running a high fever.

Kaidrie: MRI postponed until the 25th

David: MRI on the 27th, not feeling real well on this round of chemo

The Martin Family: http://www3.caringbridge.org/tn/kevinmartin

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, who just learned his cancer has returned http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Haley Pilar Vana: Surgery now scheduled for the 26th

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, possibly experiencing tumor growth. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Nicole: Having additional problems which may be tumor related. MRI scheduled after Christmas. No word from Dr yet.

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Home on Hospice

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Bailee: Hasn’t been feeling well

Tyler Tucker: Anticipating surgery in the near future

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is having serious difficulities. Just completed 4 surgeries. www3.caringbridge.org/va/jordanbelcher/

Pam Carman: Having serious problems and anticipating surgery again. www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

PRAYERS ANSWERED!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet Lakota: Feeling good and having lots of energy.

Garrett Burnham: Getting better each day.

Emerald: Having feeling return to her feet!!!!!! YEAH!!!! You keep on going girl!!!!!!

Craig: New scans were CLEAR!!!!!!!!

Fisher: Scans STABLE!!!!!!

Kody Bear: Having a GREAT day!!!!

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella January Featured Friends

Christal (5) likes coloring, books, & Barbies
Dylan (2) likes hippos, painting & Blues Clues
Carol (34) likes golf, animals, & birding
Leo (45) likes classical cars, biblical geography & Nascar

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 7:40 PM CST

I thought it was time to update the prayer list, so time for another update, although it will be short.

Each day still hurts, and each day we miss our girl more than anything in the world. Our pumpkin is on our minds every second of every day, we smile, we sometimes laugh at her past adventures and photos, and then we cry missing her horribly. We can just imagine the times she and her friends are having in Heaven. I swear, Cheyenne and Connor have so much in common. It is so amazing and a privilege to know Connor, and know how much those two are alike.

Last week we attended two of the ASU Rambelles home basketball games. Miss Cheyenne’s jersey, # 00, still sits draped over the chair next to Coach Brooks throughout the game. We KNOW that Cheyenne was present and watched HER girls play their hearts out for both big wins. The way we see it, since we know that Cheyenne will be there, we might as well attend also. Those girls are really something. Not only are they a champion basketball team, but they go out of their way to talk to us and are so nice to us, even off campus when we see them. They are true CHAMPIONS completely through and through. I know that their parents are proud of them.

We did have a little scare since the last update. It seems that somehow the money that Cheyenne gave to sponsor Lem Lem, in Africa, was used to sponsor a little boy named Peter. We were getting letters from both of them addressed to Cheyenne, and one was going to be told that they were no longer sponsored. So now, after a few phone calls, Cheyenne sponsors both Peter and Lem Lem.

Thank you for all the prayers and support.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

Punky Little,

Guess you know about your little Stinker Winker getting into trouble today. Hope we don’t spoil your baby too bad. We miss you sweetheart, each day more and more. Thanks for helping out Emerald and her mom, they needed that. We love you Pumpkin, can’t wait to see you again!!!! Save us a spot, OK?? XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mommy and Daddy

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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Little Griffin Yarbrough’s family: http://www3.caringbridge.org/tx/griffinyarbrough/index.htm

Maddie’s family as they prepare to celebrate Maddie’s birthday on the 16th. It sounds like it is in true Maddie fashion. Oh how I miss that girl!!!!

All parents trying to live life without their children.

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Melody: MRI was not good news, parents also needing prayers

Kody: Experiencing some problems

Kaidrie: MRI postponed until the 25th

David: MRI on the 27th

Garrett Burnham: In PICU with very serious infection, fighting Rhabado

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, who just learned his cancer has returned http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Emerald: Doing well after surger, even was able to set up!!! You go GIRL!!!!

Haley Pilar Vana: In process of getting 2nd Opinion on possible surgery.

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, possibly experiencing tumor growth. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Nicole: Having additional problems which may be tumor related. MRI scheduled after Christmas

Craig: Going to have a rescan this Friday, the 14th on questionable area.

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Home on Hospice

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Bailee: Hasn’t been feeling well

Tyler Tucker: Anticipating surgery in the near future

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is having serious difficulities. www3.caringbridge.org/va/jordanbelcher/

Pam Carman: Having serious problems and anticipating surgery again. www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella January Featured Friends

Christal (5) likes coloring, books, & Barbies
Dylan (2) likes hippos, painting & Blues Clues
Carol (34) likes golf, animals, & birding
Leo (45) likes classical cars, biblical geography & Nascar

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 9:45 PM CST

UPDATE AGAIN

PRAYERS DO COME TRUE! ISN'T THAT GREAT NEWS ABOUT EMERALD!!!!!!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!

Also please continue your prayers for Haley, the MRI results today did indicate growth.

UPDATE

Please visit sweet little Melody's site and Pray for her. The MRI came back and it is not good news. She needs her miracle. I HATE cancer!!!

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Tonight after learning of Griffin going to Heaven, I wanted to add a short update to the prayer list, which turned into a new journal. Please remember Griffin’s family in your prayers, they are facing an awful time without their young man.

We continue to miss our girl with every breath. Every day we think of many Cheyenne adventures and memories that make us smile, but truthfully, even those wonderful memories bring tears and heartache missing our baby and thinking of what could have been.

Donna continues staying busy at work, and at night working on finishing the Thank You cards, photo albums, scrapbooks, and other Cheyenne projects.

I am spending almost all the daylight hours, as weather permits, outside working on Cheyenne’s Garden. Of course since I have basically ignored the yard over the past 1 ½ years, there is an awfully lot of work to do. After all, a beautiful garden surrounded by an unkept yard would not be that sightly. So, with the Garden comes a complete yard makeover. Then in conjunction with the Garden, I plan to design and build a water fountain as well as other little projects, all made of the same West Texas Limestone, when I have time. I don’t know if I ever mentioned it, but since we live in the country, when I say our yard, I mean the 5 acres surrounding the house. So it will be enough to keep me busy for awhile.

I have finished the basics of the Garden. It currently consists of 2 hearts, one within the other, with the inside heart being about 4 inches higher than the outside heart. There are a few more additions that I have to complete, which when final, will incorporate 3 hearts into the design. Mr. Olive from Olive’s Nursery in San Angelo is helping us choose the proper plants to put in during the next week or so. Since it is mid-winter, most of the plants really won’t look their best until spring and summer, but we will post photos when it is complete.

I have told Donna, while I am outside working on the Garden, I feel Cheyenne’s presence with me. It makes me feel good.

Cinnamon continues to do fine, keeping Donna and me company. She accompanies me almost everywhere I go, including out to Cheyenne’s grave each day. She spins in circles, and just begs to go, so I just couldn’t break her heart.

Cheyenne’s Mockingbird is also doing fine. We now feed it apples, grapes and nuts, and I believe that it too is getting spoiled. It talks to me about every day, and when I approach it, it stays within inches of me, cocking its head and chattering. A few days ago Cinnamon and Cheyenne’s Mockingbird actually started playing with each other, taking turns chasing each other round and round the Garden that I am building. It was very funny to watch, as the Mockingbird wasn’t attacking Cinnamon as it does the cats, it was actually playing. Also Cinnamon is very protective of the Mockingbird. When we are outside, if Cinnamon sees a cat stalking the bird, she goes nuts and chases the cat away.

On New Years day, we released several balloons for Cheyenne and many of her friends. It was beautiful watching them disappear into the clouds. I can’t imagine all the adventures that Cheyenne is having in Heaven. As Rhonda put it, her Connor never did anything halfway. Yep, that is our girl also. I can just see Connor and Cheyenne doing all those fun things with all their friends. Poor Maddie is probably shaking her head over those two!!!!!

Cheyenne, We miss you more and more every day and can’t wait to hold you and be with you again. Be sure and save us a place, OK!! Don’t forget, you’re my “Punky Little”!!!!!!!

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy

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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Little Griffin Yarbrough’s family: http://www3.caringbridge.org/tx/griffinyarbrough/index.htm

All parents trying to live life without their children.

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Melody: MRI was not good news

Kevin Suberg: Our 10 year old friend from San Antonio, who just learned his cancer has returned http://users.stic.net/rsuberg

Emerald: Anticipating surgery on January 7.

Haley Pilar: MRI on January 6- Last MRI resulted in difference of Dr opinions

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, possibly experiencing tumor growth. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/Jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Nicole: Having additional problems which may be tumor related. MRI scheduled after Christmas

Craig: Scans show a questionable area

LaKota: Bone Marrow biopsy on the 14th

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Home on Hospice

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Bailee: Hasn’t been feeling well and running a fever

Tyler Tucker: Anticipating surgery in the near future

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is having serious difficulities. www3.caringbridge.org/va/jordanbelcher/

Pam Carman: I inadvertently left her off the last prayer request, having serious problems and anticipating surgery again. www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

Everyone affected by the horrible disaster in Asia.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella January Featured Friends

Christal (5) likes coloring, books, & Barbies
Dylan (2) likes hippos, painting & Blues Clues
Carol (34) likes golf, animals, & birding
Leo (45) likes classical cars, biblical geography & Nascar

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Thursday, December 30, 2004 8:20 PM CST

Two months ago today our world changed forever when our baby, our girl, was called home to Heaven. We continue to miss Cheyenne with every fiber of our being. Life is not what it was, and it will never be. I am sure that someday we may spend a day not in endless pain, sadness and loneliness, but for now we miss our girl so, so, so much here on earth.

But we know, that in God’s own time, we will be with our little stink FOREVER!!!!!! Talk about looking forward to something!!!!!!! I pray for it, I dream about it, I just can’t wait. It will be SO WONDERFUL!!!! I guess it must not be my time yet, as God hasn’t granted me that prayer yet. I guess I need to get busy and determine what plans God has for me here on earth. The sooner completed the sooner we will be reunited!!!!

When I told Donna of the prayer, she made me change my prayer to “one of us” being called home to be with and take care of our little girl. We know that Cheyenne doesn’t need our care in Heaven, but she is our baby, that is what we do, that is what makes us happy, taking care of her.

Cheyenne’s Christmas gifts to M & M, Bryce and Allysa were perfect. We told the children that Cheyenne had picked them out, and apparently they were the perfect gifts. They absolutely loved them.

Cheyenne also gave Cinnamon a nice new jacket. She had outgrown her old one and now walks around like a queen wearing her Royal Robe. Then mom and dad both received the perfect gifts from our little stink. Thank you Pumpkin, we both love them and will cherish them forever!!!!!

Cheyenne had also picked out a literal room full of gifts for her caringbridge friends, but mom and dad have not been able to muster the emotional strength to wrap them and send them. Hopefully soon. We are still working on Thank You cards from Cheyenne’s Service.

What would we do without our other children? They continue to hold us up, be with us, and keep us sane. We really need that now, thank you, we love you!!!!

Thank you to everyone that continues to hold us up in prayer as well as all the other families experiencing this horrific loss of a child. Also thank you for all the prayers for all the families needing miracles for their babies and their loved one’s.

I tried to update the prayer list the best I could, but there are quite a few sites that I am having difficulties pulling up. Also I noticed that I inadvertently deleted a few last update, but have added them tonight.

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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

All parents trying to live life without their children.

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Emerald: Anticipating surgery on January 7.

Haley Pilar: MRI on January 6- Last MRI resulted in difference of Dr opinions

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, possibly experiencing tumor growth. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/Jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Nicole: Having additional problems which may be tumor related. MRI scheduled after Christmas

Craig: Scans show a questionable area

LaKota: Bone Marrow biopsy on the 14th

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Home on Hospice

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Bailee: Hasn’t been feeling well and running a fever

Tyler Tucker: Anticipating surgery in the near future

Jordan Belcher: One of our long time caringbridge friends that is having serious difficulities. www3.caringbridge.org/va/jordanbelcher/

Pam Carmen: I inadvertently left her off the last prayer request, having serious problems and anticipating surgery again. www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/

Scotty Pikarainen: A 14 year old great nephew from a friend at church. Scotty was just diagnosed with in incurable disease affecting the brain. He is currently undergoing testing at Children’s Hospital in St Paul, Mn.

Everyone affected by the horrible disaster in Asia.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella January Featured Friends

Christal (5) likes coloring, books, & Barbies
Dylan (2) likes hippos, painting & Blues Clues
Carol (34) likes golf, animals, & birding
Leo (45) likes classical cars, biblical geography & Nascar

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Saturday, December 25, 2004 10:51 AM CST

Merry Christmas to all. Please remember the true meaning of Christmas this morning. Without it we would all be lost.

Cheyenne,
Merry Christmas Baby,
Mom and Dad are lost without you! We miss you so, so much and it hurts so, so much to just be without you. Give all our caringbridge friends with you a great big Christmas hug, OK. We love you with all our hearts! Hope you saw and liked your Christmas gifts. We can’t wait to be with you again, Pumpkin! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO a million times!
Mommy and Daddy
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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Trey’s family: http://www3.caringbridge.org/va/trey/index.htm

Hayley’s family spending their first days without their baby: http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/hayley/

Travis’ family spending their first days without their young man: www2.caringbridge.org/mi/trav/index.htm

All of our caringbridge friends and all the other people in the world having to spend the holidays without their babies. Believe me, they need the prayers.

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Emerald: Anticipating surgery on January 7.

Haley Pilar: MRI on January 6- Last MRI resulted in difference of Dr opinions

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, possibly experiencing tumor growth. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/Jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Nicole: Having additional problems which may be tumor related. MRI scheduled after Christmas

Craig: Scans show a questionable area

LaKota: Bone Marrow biopsy on the 14th

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Home on Hospice

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant.

Tyler Tucker: Anticipating surgery in the near future

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

PRAISE GOD FOR THE FOLLOWING CHILDREN DOING WELL

Jennifer: Now home with family

David: Scans clear

LaKota: 100 percent donor cells

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella December Featured Friends

Melissa (12) likes movies, crafts & collects pigs

Ray-Anne (8) likes pink and purple, dogs, and collects porcelain dolls

Taylor Marie (3) likes Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger & eye-hand coordination toys

Catie (2) likes story books, toddler toys & animals

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Monday, December 20, 2004 9:17 PM CST

Little Trey departed this earth for Heaven yesterday evening. Please hold his family up in prayer. It is so, so, so very hard. http://www3.caringbridge.org/va/trey/index.htm

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The world lost Hayley and Travis over the past few days, please pray for their families.

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Donna and I continue to try to just make it through each day. We miss our girl so much. All the things that could have been, should have been, all the things that our baby never experienced. Her absence is unbearable. We miss her more each day. Today is one day closer to being with our pumpkin, forever, and ever.

The song on Cheyenne’s website was one of Diana’s many contributions to Cheyenne’s service. This song was played during the procession into the Sanctuary to begin the service. I had never heard the song before, and now I cry everytime I hear it.

Lawnhaven finally poured the foundation for Cheyenne’s marker today, so it should be up before Christmas. Also Donna and I will be ordering the other markers that go with Cheyenne’s this week, so they should be ready in 30 days or so.

Today when we visited Cheyenne at Lawnhaven the men were working on the foundation. Little Cinnamon, so protective of her "Mommy", went nuts, barking, growling, and throwing a fit at the workers. Normally, she just lays on Cheyenne's grave, and doesn't even look at other people around. But I guess this was different, they were at "our" place..

Donna continues to work and I have been spending almost all of my time building Cheyenne’s garden. The garden is about ½ way completed.

This morning when I went outside to begin work on it, I had not even closed the door when the little mockingbird began fussing at me. It was sitting in a pine tree near the garden, and was fussing non-stop. After researching mockingbirds I had discovered that they do not feed on regular bird seed, but love fruit. So, since Cheyenne’s favorite fruit was the apple, I have been putting an apple in the pine tree for the little bird. Well, it seems that the little mockingbird had eaten most of the apple and it had fallen out of the tree. I told the little thing I would be right back, went into the house and returned with a new apple. While I was putting it in the tree, that little Mockingbird sat with 6 to 12 inches of me, cocking its head and talking to me.

Thank you for continuing to remember our family in your prayers. This is so, so hard. Cheyenne continues to make her presence known each and every day. We also receive letters and emails from friends sharing their Cheyenne stories. She is a little stink!!!

We love you stink, with all our hearts. We miss you horribly, missed you more today than yesterday, and will miss you more tomorrow. Can’t wait to see you again. Hope you think the lights are beautiful, they are for you!!!!!!

FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Hayley’s family spending their first days without their baby: http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/hayley/

Travis’ family spending their first days without their young man: www2.caringbridge.org/mi/trav/index.htm

All of our caringbridge friends and all the other people in the world having to spend the holidays without their babies. Believe me, they need the prayers.

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Emerald: Anticipating surgery on January 7.

Haley Pilar: MRI on January 6- Last MRI resulted in difference of Dr opinions

Jeffery: One of our long time caringbridge friends, possibly experiencing tumor growth. www2.caringbridge.org/fl/Jeffery/

Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Nicole: Having additional problems which may be tumor related. MRI scheduled after Christmas

Craig: Scans show a questionable area

LaKota: Bone Marrow biopsy on the 14th

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Home on Hospice

James: Cheyenne’s best friend in the world, feeling really bad and missing Cheyenne. James is doing better, but just misses his buddy.

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant.

Tyler Tucker: Anticipating surgery in the near future

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

PRAISE GOD FOR THE FOLLOWING CHILDREN DOING WELL

Jennifer: Now home with family

David: Scans clear

LaKota: 100 percent donor cells

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella December Featured Friends

Melissa (12) likes movies, crafts & collects pigs

Ray-Anne (8) likes pink and purple, dogs, and collects porcelain dolls

Taylor Marie (3) likes Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger & eye-hand coordination toys

Catie (2) likes story books, toddler toys & animals

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Wednesday, December 15, 2004 7:55 PM CST

The Candlelighters are again having their Cancer Awareness Christmas Tree decorated with ribbons in memory of, or in honor of many of our special children. For each donation of at least $5 a ribbon is placed on the tree along with a little message. Their web address is: http://www.candlelighters.org/cancerawarenesstree2004.stm .

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For the past few days, knowing how much Cheyenne loved Christmas, the true meaning of the season, the ability to give gifts to friends and strangers alike, and all the decorations in and outside the house, I have been trying to muster enough courage to decorate the exterior of the house as we normally do. But, each and every year that I do it, my little helper has always been there with me, every step of the way. She even insisted on getting on the roof with me to lay the lights, and we turned it into a big fun event each year. Afterwards, even last year, after the lights were put up, we just sat on the roof looking out over the neighborhood and the entire lake, having some daddy daughter time. So, I have been having a rather hard emotional time getting it done this year. I convinced myself that I would do it for Cheyenne, but when the time would come to get the lights and go on top of the house, my emotions would get the best of me and I would put it off. Today included.

Well, today in the mail I received an unexpected gift. One of Cheyenne’s followers and prayer warriors sent a beautiful Christmas Ornament which I opened tonight. It consists of the photo of Cheyenne with her purple winter cap and the vapor coming from her mouth due to the cold. One of my favorites from last Christmas. The words written on the side are:

Cheyenne

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below.

With tiny lights, like Heavens stars reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away your tears.

For I am spending Christmas up in Heaven this year.

Have a Happy Christmas..

Cheyenne, I needed that. I will be putting up the lights first thing tomorrow for you to enjoy. You have a Merry Christmas, Punky Little!!!!!!!!

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Another day has passed, Cheyenne is missed more and more each day, and we are one day closer to being reunited with our baby, for eternity!!!!!

Donna is in Indianapolis this week attending a training class for work, which really makes this week extra hard for me. In my visit to Lawnhaven today to visit Cheyenne, I discovered that they have finally marked out the concrete base for her headstone. I officially complained yesterday and I guess it helped. Although I won’t hold my breath until it is completed. The center marker has been ready now for 2 weeks, just waiting on Lawnhaven to pour the concrete. We now have a small decorated Christmas tree and a Christmas wreath at Lawnhaven for Cheyenne. Cheyenne just loved Christmas!!!

I have had the privilege of speaking to several parents in the last week that are spending their first holidays without their babies. It is so hard just being without them, then the holidays really amplifies it. In these conversations it is so strange to find so many things that our families have in common. In a conversation yesterday with Olivia’s mom it was so incredible to hear all the commonalities with our journey, our babies, and our memories. Even down to the Kit Kats!!! Boy I KNOW that Cheyenne and Olivia hit it off big time together in Heaven.

When I force myself to go shopping, it just does not seem right. All the hustle and bustle, parents shopping for their children, for just the right present, and here I am buying Christmas decorations for my baby’s grave. It hurts so bad. I MISS my buddy, my little girl, my young lady, my friend, my baby, I MISS my PUMPKIN!!!

Cheyenne only had one thing on her Christmas list this year, a little talking animal. We have it for her, and she is not here to enjoy it. She did pick out a few gifts for her nieces, nephews, and friends the last time she went shopping. The last gifts she can give to the one’s she cared about the most.

As hard as this all is, I can not imagine how tough it would be without the knowledge of Cheyenne being in Heaven, of her being perfectly well, and of us being reunited for eternity someday. I guess I am really fortunate. There is not a doubt, not a single doubt that Cheyenne is enjoying a perfect afterlife and I will get to join her someday. We have been blessed with so, so many signs, Cheyenne letting us know that she is ok and of her constant presence with us. We have personally met so many others who have experienced various aspects of their loved ones letting them know that they are alright.

If there was ever any doubt about Heaven, if there was ever any doubt about the afterlife, they have all been completely eliminated as a result of our experiences and the experiences of those that we have come to know along this journey. From our experiences alone we could write a book, and we may actually, someday. Then it seems that each and every day we speak to someone else who also has had or witnessed similar experiences. Just today in conversation with a friend, he told me of a relative’s last minutes on earth, seeing and speaking to her departed loved ones that came to take her home. There are some that probably write these experiences off as coincidences, or hallucinations. Well, I have news for them, Heaven is as real as this life. Thank you God for your ultimate sacrifice and our salvation!!!

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever
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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

All of our caringbridge friends and all the other people in the world having to spend the holidays without their babies. Believe me, they need the prayers.

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS
Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Hayley Not doing well: http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/hayley/

Nicole: Having additional problems which may be tumor related. MRI scheduled after Christmas

Craig: Scans show a questionable area

Ryan: Running a fever and having pneumonia like symptoms
LaKota: Bone Marrow biopsy on the 14th

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well, had an MRI on the 7th.

Kody Bear: MRI results Wednesday 15th

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Not doing real well, home on Hospice

James: Cheyenne’s best friend in the world, feeling really bad and missing Cheyenne.

David: Having an MRi on the 9th

Melody: Having some tummy problems

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Had 1 major surgeries last week and anticipating another as she regains her strength from the first.

Jennifer: Praying for her continued safety and thanking the Lord for her family contact.

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant.

Tyler Tucker: Anticipating surgery in the near future

Haley (Haley’s Home): Feeling poorly, but trying to enjoy her Make A Wish.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

PRAISE GOD FOR THE FOLLOWING CHILDREN DOING WELL

Emerald: MRI indicates NO NEW TUMORS. On a Disney trip

David: Scans clear

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella December Featured Friends

Melissa (12) likes movies, crafts & collects pigs

Ray-Anne (8) likes pink and purple, dogs, and collects porcelain dolls

Taylor Marie (3) likes Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger & eye-hand coordination toys

Catie (2) likes story books, toddler toys & animals

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Tuesday, December 14, 2004 7:30 PM CST

The Candlelighters are again having their Cancer Awareness Christmas Tree decorated with ribbons in memory of, or in honor of many of our special children. For each donation of at least $5 a ribbon is placed on the tree along with a little message. Their web address is: http://www.candlelighters.org/cancerawarenesstree2004.stm .

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Another day has passed, Cheyenne is missed more and more each day, and we are one day closer to being reunited with our baby, for eternity!!!!!

Donna is in Indianapolis this week attending a training class for work, which really makes this week extra hard for me. In my visit to Lawnhaven today to visit Cheyenne, I discovered that they have finally marked out the concrete base for her headstone. I officially complained yesterday and I guess it helped. Although I won’t hold my breath until it is completed. The center marker has been ready now for 2 weeks, just waiting on Lawnhaven to pour the concrete. We now have a small decorated Christmas tree and a Christmas wreath at Lawnhaven for Cheyenne. Cheyenne just loved Christmas!!!

I have had the privilege of speaking to several parents in the last week that are spending their first holidays without their babies. It is so hard just being without them, then the holidays really amplifies it. In these conversations it is so strange to find so many things that our families have in common. In a conversation yesterday with Olivia’s mom it was so incredible to hear all the commonalities with our journey, our babies, and our memories. Even down to the Kit Kats!!! Boy I KNOW that Cheyenne and Olivia hit it off big time together in Heaven.

When I force myself to go shopping, it just does not seem right. All the hustle and bustle, parents shopping for their children, for just the right present, and here I am buying Christmas decorations for my baby’s grave. It hurts so bad. I MISS my buddy, my little girl, my young lady, my friend, my baby, I MISS my PUMPKIN!!!

Cheyenne only had one thing on her Christmas list this year, a little talking animal. We have it for her, and she is not here to enjoy it. She did pick out a few gifts for her nieces, nephews, and friends the last time she went shopping. The last gifts she can give to the one’s she cared about the most.

As hard as this all is, I can not imagine how tough it would be without the knowledge of Cheyenne being in Heaven, of her being perfectly well, and of us being reunited for eternity someday. I guess I am really fortunate. There is not a doubt, not a single doubt that Cheyenne is enjoying a perfect afterlife and I will get to join her someday. We have been blessed with so, so many signs, Cheyenne letting us know that she is ok and of her constant presence with us. We have personally met so many others who have experienced various aspects of their loved ones letting them know that they are alright.

If there was ever any doubt about Heaven, if there was ever any doubt about the afterlife, they have all been completely eliminated as a result of our experiences and the experiences of those that we have come to know along this journey. From our experiences alone we could write a book, and we may actually, someday. Then it seems that each and every day we speak to someone else who also has had or witnessed similar experiences. Just today in conversation with a friend, he told me of a relative’s last minutes on earth, seeing and speaking to her departed loved ones that came to take her home. There are some that probably write these experiences off as coincidences, or hallucinations. Well, I have news for them, Heaven is as real as this life. Thank you God for your ultimate sacrifice and our salvation!!!

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever
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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

All of our caringbridge friends and all the other people in the world having to spend the holidays without their babies. Believe me, they need the prayers.

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS
Dylan: Not doing real well (web address is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm )

Hayley Not doing well: http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/hayley/

Nicole: Having additional problems which may be tumor related. MRI scheduled after Christmas

Craig: Scans show a questionable area

Ryan: Running a fever and having pneumonia like symptoms
LaKota: Bone Marrow biopsy on the 14th

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well, had an MRI on the 7th.

Kody Bear: MRI results Wednesday 15th

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Not doing real well, home on Hospice

James: Cheyenne’s best friend in the world, feeling really bad and missing Cheyenne.

David: Having an MRi on the 9th

Melody: Having some tummy problems

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Had 1 major surgeries last week and anticipating another as she regains her strength from the first.

Jennifer: Praying for her continued safety and thanking the Lord for her family contact.

A.J. Wallace: Suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant.

Tyler Tucker: Anticipating surgery in the near future

Haley (Haley’s Home): Feeling poorly, but trying to enjoy her Make A Wish.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

PRAISE GOD FOR THE FOLLOWING CHILDREN DOING WELL

Emerald: MRI indicates NO NEW TUMORS. On a Disney trip

David: Scans clear

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella December Featured Friends

Melissa (12) likes movies, crafts & collects pigs

Ray-Anne (8) likes pink and purple, dogs, and collects porcelain dolls

Taylor Marie (3) likes Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger & eye-hand coordination toys

Catie (2) likes story books, toddler toys & animals

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Wednesday, December 8, 2004 8:47 PM CST

I just discovered that West Texas Make A Wish Foundation is having a fundraiser in and around San Angelo until December 18th. They are having a raffle with the prize being a new Harley Davidson Motorcycle. All proceeds benefit the local Make A Wish Chapter. Tickets are on sale at all C&W Food Stores for $20 a ticket until the 18th. I picked up mine today. This is a very good cause. Cheyenne had a WONDERFUL time on her Make A Wish trip.

The Compassionate Friends, an organization of bereaved parents, is having their 8th Annual Worldwide Candle Lighting on December 12th at 7pm in each and every time zone, as we remember all children that have gone to Heaven. With everyone’s participation, there will be candles burning in memory of all our children throughout the entire 24 hours of December 12, 2004. Please participate if you can and please pass this information to everyone you know. This is quite a tribute to our wonderful children that have preceded us. Thank you!!

Also if you have an opportunity visit the Candlelighters Foundation website. They have a Cancer Awareness Christmas Tree this year with ribbons in memory of, or in honor of many of our special children. For each donation of at least $5 a ribbon is placed on the tree along with a little message. Their web address is: http://www.candlelighters.org/cancerawarenesstree2004.stm .

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UPDATE 12/9/04 1010pm

One of our friends, our little heros, is in need of urgent prayers tonight. Dylan has been fighting an inoperable brain stem glioma since 1999 and is not doing real well tonight. His website is http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/dylansworld/index.htm . Thank you

Also, I just found out that James, Cheyenne's Best Friend in the whole world, was rushed to the emergency room a few days ago after passing out for an unexplained reason. He has a Doctor's appointment on Friday in an attempt to determine exactly what is going on. James is absolutely the sweetest and most caring young man I have ever met and could use your prayers today.

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I really don’t feel much like updating tonight, but I wanted to update the prayer list and also get the information regarding the Compassionate Friends Candle Lighting posted. By the way, Donna and I are attending the local chapter meetings and would recommend it to all grieving parents. We attended the local Christmas Candle Lighting event last night, lighting a candle in honor of our baby. For a small town, there were an awfully lot of candles burning. It is just horrible.

Things are pretty much the same around here. Donna is working and I am at home building Cheyenne’s Garden in front of the house. And yes, thus far, the little Mockingbird continues to visit me each day. Today he chose to visit as I had a friend over checking on me, so I was able to introduce Anthony to the little Mockingbird.

The days are not getting easier. Even though Donna and I both know that Cheyenne is in Heaven and we will see her again, it is so, so very hard to spend the days without her physical presence. Today, I have no idea why, but today was extremely hard for me. And considering that every day is almost unbearable, I really don’t know how I made it through the day today.

The longing to see her, touch her, hear her, hold her, just be in the room with her is so, so strong. Every second of every day my thoughts are of my baby. Sometimes, I can muster a laugh or smile at something she did, but then even the smile turns to grief, missing her.

If she could, I know she would send me a message in good Cheyenne fashion to make me feel better. The message:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PANCAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Punky little, I miss you more today than yesterday, and will miss you more tomorrow. Save me a place, OK? I will see you when my job here is done. I love you!!!!!!!!!!

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever
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FAMILIES SPENDING TIME WITHOUT THEIR BABIES

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Troy’s family with the loss of their baby

Connor’s family spending days without their wonderful son

Olivia’s family spending the first days without their princess:
http://www2.caringbridge.org/mi/oliviasgrace/index.htm

Carter’s family, trying to live life without him.

All of our caringbridge friends and all the other people in the world having to spend the holidays without their babies. Believe me, they need the prayers.

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Hayley Not doing well: http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/hayley/

Nicole: Having problems which may be tumor related.

Cute Craig: Scans Friday

LaKota: Bone Marrow biopsy on the 14th

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well, had an MRI on the 7th.

Kody Bear: Having vision and balance problems, will have MRI Friday

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Not doing real well, home on Hospice

James: Cheyenne’s best friend in the world, feeling really bad and missing Cheyenne.

David: Having an MRi on the 9th

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback.

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Anticipating 2 major surgeries, the first last Thursday, and the next just a soon as she regains her strength from the first.

Jennifer: Praying for her continued safety and thanking the Lord for her family contact.

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Caden: One of our newest, cutest little caringbridge friends from Wall.

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant.

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Ewing Sarcoma.

Tyler Tucker: Anticipating surgery in the near future

Haley (Haley’s Home): Taking her Make A Wish trip on the 14th

Mitch: Having a Birthday next week

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

PRAISE GOD FOR THE FOLLOWING CHILDREN DOING WELL

Emerald: MRI indicates NO NEW TUMORS. On a Disney trip

Jackson: Did really well in surgery and now home

Ryan: Fevers went away and feeling much better

Madie: Feeling much better

Kaidrie: Out of the hospital, feeling much better

Haley Vana: Doctors opinion that last MRI showed Post Operative results, Dr’s are not worried. Next MRI January 6th

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella December Featured Friends

Melissa (12) likes movies, crafts & collects pigs

Ray-Anne (8) likes pink and purple, dogs, and collects porcelain dolls

Taylor Marie (3) likes Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger & eye-hand coordination toys

Catie (2) likes story books, toddler toys & animals

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Sunday, December 5, 2004 0:16 AM CST

I just could not resist updating tonight. Today was a pretty full day of us doing “Cheyenne” things, and updating with the activities are almost like old times. I only wish my Pumpkin Little was here with me physically. I miss her soooooo much.

Today was a very busy day for our Miss Cheyenne, who, although could not be here physically, was definitely here is spirit.

Earlier today the Tang Soo Do Karate Association held their annual Black Belt Conference in San Antonio. Following the Conference, this year’s new Black Belts were officially honored and inducted as Black Belts into the Organization. Our little Miss Cheyenne was one of those officially inducted today, sponsored by her School, the San Angelo Martial Arts Academies here in San Angelo. Additionally, there was a candle lighting service which included our baby. Master Troncoso and Grand Master Thompson, I know Cheyenne is the Proudest Angel in Heaven tonight, Thank you! You have no idea how much this means to our family, and especially Miss Cheyenne, our little Champ!!

Later this evening Cheyenne’s basketball team, the ASU Rambelles, played the Tarleton State University girls at the Junell Center in San Angelo. Cheyenne’s ASU Rambelles basketball jersey, number 00, sat in the chair next to Coach Brooks for the entire game. Since our baby never had the opportunity to sit on the bench with her teammates, which she was looking soooo forward to, we know that our Pumpkin was definitely there tonight, watching “her” teammates go on to an easy win. After the game, we were invited into the Girls Locker room where we were shown a plaque hanging on the wall. The plaque contains a photo of Cheyenne surrounded by all the ASU Rambelles, and the wording, “In Loving Memory of Cheyenne Marie Fiveash, Our Teammate Forever.” Coach Brooks told us that the plaque was now a permanent fixture on the wall. Also, if any of you that watched the game wondered about the girls wearing 2 different colored shoe laces, yep, the blue ones are in honor of our little stink. Blue is her favorite color. Coach Brooks, I know you made a little girl smile really, really big tonight. Thank you.

Also, earlier today while visiting our baby at Lawnhaven Cemetery we had the honor of meeting Tiffany Doty. Tiffany’s little 8 year old son, Cody, went to Heaven the 12th of last month after experiencing a seizure, and is resting not far from Cheyenne. It seems that Tiffany sees us at Lawnhaven every day and decided it was time to become acquainted. We shared quite a few Cody and Cheyenne stories. Cody sure sounds special!!! Our new friends, Tiffany and her family, are now a normal part of our daily prayers.

Also, I need to update on the “madness” with keeping flowers at Lawnhaven for Cheyenne until the permanent marker is set. I don’t know if someone called them, if someone from Lawnhaven read the journal entry, or if it was just a coincidence. But in any event, right after the journal entry, Lawnhaven put up a temporary marker with an attached vase. So now Cheyenne has flowers constantly, with them not being thrown away each day. Now if we could get them to pour the concrete for the base????

As far as the Mockingbird visits, happily they continue. Earlier today I was getting worried as I had not seen it. Donna said, “Don’t worry, it will come back.” As soon as I walked back outside to begin work on Cheyenne’s Garden, the little bird flew up and landed on the pile of rocks that I am using to build the garden. After a few photo’s and about a 30 minute visit, the other birds came and off they went again, flying and playing. The really funny thing about all of this, and I am sure Cheyenne is laughing her head off, I put up a bird feeder. Well, I have not seen the Mockingbirds at the feeder even once. But we have every other kind of bird in Texas eating out of that feeder. It looks like a bird sanctuary around here. Another thing that Donna pointed out to me today, the cross stitched picture of the Mockingbird in Cheyenne’s room, Cheyenne had placed a wallet sized photo of Jesus in one corner. So as Donna says, just as that bird is with Jesus, now Cheyenne is with Jesus.

I guess I should also mention something that was in yesterday’s journal about Donna’s work. Actually, almost everyone in the office is fantastic, helping us with just about anything we ever needed. There just happens to be 1 or 2 people in a very big office that lack the ability to be intelligent or caring.

Cheyenne, I miss you more today than yesterday!!! And I will miss you more tomorrow!!! We can’t wait until we are together again, it will be sooooo much fun! We just feel lost without you. We love you stink!
Again, thank you for all the prayers for our family, for our caringbridge family, and especially for all those caringbridge children that we have grown to love.

Thanks to Rob, Melody’s dad, I re-discovered the Candlelighters Foundation website. They have a Cancer Awareness Christmas Tree this year with ribbons in memory of, or in honor of many of our special children. For each donation of at least $5 a ribbon is placed on the tree along with a little message. Their web address is: http://www.candlelighters.org/cancerawarenesstree2004.stm .

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy
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SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Troy’s family with the loss of their baby

Connor’s family spending days without their wonderful son

Olivia’s family spending the first days without their princess:
http://www2.caringbridge.org/mi/oliviasgrace/index.htm

Carter’s family, trying to live life without him.
Kaidrie: Who is experiencing problems and in the hospital

All of our caringbridge friends and all the other people in the world having to spend the holidays without their babies. Believe me, they need the prayers.

Emerald: Cheyenne’s beautiful caringbridge sister, experiencing some problems and receiving bad MRI results, seeking next treatment.

Haley Pilar Vana: Mri indicating tumor growth, awaiting 2nd opinion.

Hayley receiving bad test results: http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/hayley/

Cute little Fisher Bug: MRI indicating brainstem tumor stable , but possible growth in another area. Making decisions on treatment.

Nicole: Having problems which may be tumor related.

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well.

Kody Bear: Getting better and stronger after successful surgery

Matthew: Possible tumor growth, researching options.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Receiving bad MRI results.

James: Cheyenne’s best friend in the world, feeling really bad and missing Cheyenne.

David: Not eating well and needing encouragement

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback.

Ryan: Taking an antibiotic for a sudden onset of temperature and headache.

Sweet little Madie: Released from the hospital, fighting a virus. Pray that the fever STAYS away.

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Anticipating 2 major surgeries, the first last Thursday, and the next just a soon as she regains her strength from the first.

Jennifer: Praying for her continued safety and thanking the Lord for her family contact.

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Caden: One of our newest, cutest little caringbridge friends from Wall.

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant.

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Ewing Sarcoma.

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems.

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well awaiting transplant.

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad, both now home and recuperating, one day at a time.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella December Featured Friends

Melissa (12) likes movies, crafts & collects pigs

Ray-Anne (8) likes pink and purple, dogs, and collects porcelain dolls

Taylor Marie (3) likes Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger & eye-hand coordination toys

Catie (2) likes story books, toddler toys & animals

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Friday, December 3, 2004 10:26 PM CST

Again, as always, thank you everyone for all the prayers, thoughts, and kind messages left in the guestbook. Life continues to be pretty rough for Donna and me, missing our baby girl with every ounce, every thread, every fiber of our bodies. Every second of every day, Cheyenne consumes our thoughts, our emotions, and our every activity.

Some people seem to think that we should “get over it” and get on with life. For those people, I can only say that you are in our prayers, that you never have to experience this horrible experience and that you too, will someday experience the love of a person so intense that their physical absence is completely heart shattering.

We are spending most of our “social” time with family and close friends, who are also having a rough time emotionally. Donna has started back to work, although I don’t know how she can do it. Not only does she have to go through the day with the same emotions and feelings that I have, but she has to function at work, and probably the hardest, she can’t restrict her contact with a few people that I would personally deem as rather insensitive of her feelings.

We really don’t know what the rest of our lives will be like. We are now taking it minute by minute. We fully intend to spend the remainder of our lives in activities that are pleasing to God, and what would make Cheyenne proud of us. That is quite an undertaking, but we will try to the best of our ability. In the interim, we are patiently awaiting the reunion with our little stink, when the Lord decides it is time. Today is one day closer!

Before I get into the next paragraph, I thought I would preempt it with this. I realize that not everyone will understand, some may even think it against Biblical thinking, etc. All I can say to those people is, you have to experience it to understand it. It is as real as real can be. Also many books have been written on this subject, several using biblical scripture as reference.

The primary purpose of updating tonight, was to share a little more of the Mockingbird story. If you recall, a young Mockingbird started visiting me at the cemetery as I was visiting Cheyenne. These visits came after repeated prayers that Cheyenne send me a sign that she was ok. This bird would sit just a few feet from me, talk to me, cock its head, and was not afraid of me at all. When I walked around, it followed me.

After a few days of this, I asked that the Mockingbird visit me at home. The very next day a young Mockingbird was at our house (20 miles away). Again, flying down to sit a few feet from me, talking to me, and following me around as I walked or visiting with me as I worked on Cheyenne’s garden. I have since noticed that the Mockingbird is no longer at the cemetery, only at home. A couple of days ago, the one Mockingbird was joined by another, than yesterday, two others. Each day the one Mockingbird flies down to visit, but after a few minutes, the others come and off they go, flying, playing, and having fun, but never far from me.

There was never a doubt in my mind that Cheyenne was sending me a message. I can’t explain it. There was this feeling that I would get when the Mockingbird was near. Many of you mentioned that it was just like Cheyenne to use a Mockingbird to send the sign. But what none of us realized, until today, how right this was.

Last night while in Cheyenne’s room, I looked up over her dresser, and there was a life size cross stitched picture of a Mockingbird. I had never seen it before, although Donna says that it has hung there for over a year and Cheyenne loved it.

Today, I thought I would research the internet on Mockingbirds. One of the first results that popped up was a song. Not just any song. “Hush Little Baby Don’t You Cry”! The words go something like this:

Hush little baby, don’t you cry
Daddy’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird
If that Mockingbird don’t sing
Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring
If that diamond ring don’t shine
Etc.

I have mentioned before that I have been in a little bit of a haze, not thinking completely, well, How could I have forgotten this song. It just did not dawn on me until today when I read the actual words on the internet.

Since Cheyenne was a baby, I would hold her in my arms and sing to her, especially when she was sick, or not feeling well. Since I am not a “musical” person, one of the few songs I knew was “Hush little baby, don’t you cry”. I have probably sang this song to Cheyenne 500 times. Since I do not know all the verses, I usually just sang the two about the Mockingbird and Diamond Ring, over and over. During my baby’s last hours and last minutes on this earth, I was lying next to her in bed, with her in my arms, singing this song to her. They were the last words she heard from her daddy while in her earthly body. A Mockingbird!!!! You have no idea how many tears I shed today when I realized this.

My Baby sent me a sign, She is OK!

Again, thank you for all the prayers for our family, for our caringbridge family, and especially for all those caringbridge children that we have grown to love.
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SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Troy’s family with the loss of their baby

Connor’s family spending days without their wonderful son

Olivia’s family spending the first days without their princess:
http://www2.caringbridge.org/mi/oliviasgrace/index.htm

Carter’s family, trying to live life without him.

All of our caringbridge friends and all the other people in the world having to spend the holidays without their babies. Believe me, they need the prayers.

Emerald: Cheyenne’s beautiful caringbridge sister, experiencing some problems and receiving bad MRI results, seeking next treatment.

Haley Pilar Vana: Mri indicating tumor growth, awaiting 2nd opinion.

Hayley receiving bad test results: http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/hayley/

Cute little Fisher Bug: MRI indicating brainstem tumor stable , but possible growth in another area. Making decisions on treatment.

Nicole: Having problems which may be tumor related.

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well.

Kody Bear: Getting better and stronger after successful surgery

Matthew: Possible tumor growth, researching options.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Receiving bad MRI results.

James: Cheyenne’s best friend in the world, feeling really bad and missing Cheyenne.

David: Not eating well and needing encouragement

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback.

Ryan: Taking an antibiotic for a sudden onset of temperature and headache.

Sweet little Madie: Released from the hospital, fighting a virus. Pray that the fever STAYS away.

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Anticipating 2 major surgeries, the first last Thursday, and the next just a soon as she regains her strength from the first.

Jennifer: Praying for her continued safety and thanking the Lord for her family contact.

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Caden: One of our newest, cutest little caringbridge friends from Wall.

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant.

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Ewing Sarcoma.

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems.

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well awaiting transplant.

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad, both now home and recuperating, one day at a time.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella December Featured Friends

Melissa (12) likes movies, crafts & collects pigs

Ray-Anne (8) likes pink and purple, dogs, and collects porcelain dolls

Taylor Marie (3) likes Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger & eye-hand coordination toys

Catie (2) likes story books, toddler toys & animals

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Sunday, November 28, 2004 9:43 PM CST

Thank you everyone that is continuing to hold us up in prayer. Prayer and the knowledge in God’s Promise that we will join our pumpkin for eternity is all that is keeping us going day to day. A strange thing, when a parent loses a child, all fear of death disappears. The fear turns into anticipation.
Today is one day closer to being reunited with my baby!!!!

I have updated the prayer list below, which continues to grow. Also, for those involved in Audrey’s Umbrella, I have also updated the Featured Friends for December. Someday, I will try to update the website, but for now, I am not emotionally up to it.

Donna and I continue to live, day by day. And yes, we miss our little stink more today than yesterday, and will miss her even more tomorrow.

At the Compassionate Friends meeting, Justin Tackett’s mom, Sarah, was so kind and gave us a book, entitled “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn. Thus far, of everything we have been told, given, or have read to try to help us, this book has done the most good. Basically, it uses Biblical scriptures to attempt to explain what Heaven is like. I would recommend it to anyone on this journey. Maddie’s mom, Julie, also recommended a book to us, but in my haze, I ordered the wrong book, so I have to reorder.

I was trying to explain the intense pain and sadness to someone yesterday that has small children, “You think you can fathom the pain of losing your baby, just imagine how bad you think it would be and multiply it by a million. Truly, unless one has traveled this road, there is no comparison. Most of us have lost loved ones in our lives, but the pain of losing your child, your baby, is truly horrible. And there are sooo many that we have gotten to know.

We are trying to make it through the days. Donna has been writing thank you cards for all the wonderful flowers, charity donations in memory of Cheyenne, etc. and is going to work Monday. I have been staying busy with other things. It seems as long as I am spending my time “for” Cheyenne, the days go by slightly easier. Working on memorials and gifts that would please Cheyenne, arranging for the marker at Lawnhaven, visiting her caringbridge friends, etc..

One of my current projects involves building a Garden in our front yard. I am building it of West Texas Limestone in the shape of a heart. When it is completed we will be planting a floral tree, flowers, plants, bushes, etc. It is quite an undertaking, as I am not that experienced in stone work, but as long as I take my time, it will be beautiful.

Each day we visit Lawnhaven Cemetery. It is maddening to try to keep flowers on Cheyenne’s grave. The cemetery only allows them if they are in a granite vase attached to the memorial. We can’t get the memorial marker and vases put up until the cemetery gets off their behind and pours the concrete for the granite base. So the game we play is that I put them there, they pick them up, I replace them, so on and so on.

Hopefully, Cheyenne’s center marker will be in place within the week. Then as finances allow, the remainder will be ordered, cut,, and installed within a couple of months. The owners of A.C. Memorial are fantastic people, so easy to work with and so compassionate. Due to the manner in which we are putting the markers together, they are “loaning” us a granite base and granite vases until the one’s that we ordered are cut out of the mountain and shipped. By doing this it allows us to get Cheyenne’s marker up much quicker.

I started not to share this, but then changed my mind. It seems that we have a new little friend that enjoys hanging around. When I am at Lawnhaven visiting Cheyenne, a beautiful young Mockingbird flies up to me and sits 3 or 4 feet away from me each day, then follows me when I walk around. At home, a beautiful young Mockingbird (same one?) sits a few feet away from me and watches me build the garden. When I walk away, it also follows me. Today it scared the wits out of me, landing on the cat’s water bowl, with the cats within inches, to get a drink of water. The cat’s completely ignored it! I guess the garden will include a bird bath and bird feeder.

Thanks to Rob, Melody’s dad, I re-discovered the Candlelighters Foundation website. They have a Cancer Awareness Christmas Tree this year with ribbons in memory of, or in honor of many of our special children. For each donation of at least $5 a ribbon is placed on the tree along with a little message. Their web address is: http://www.candlelighters.org/cancerawarenesstree2004.stm .

Thank you for all the prayers for our family and all the other children.

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever

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SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Troy’s family with the loss of their baby

Connor’s family spending days without their wonderful son

Olivia’s family spending the first days without their princess:
http://www2.caringbridge.org/mi/oliviasgrace/index.htm

Carter’s family, trying to live life without him.

All of our caringbridge friends and all the other people in the world having to spend the holidays without their babies. Believe me, they need the prayers.

Emerald: Cheyenne’s beautiful caringbridge sister, experiencing some problems and receiving bad MRI results, seeking next treatment.

Haley Pilar Vana: Mri indicating tumor growth, awaiting 2nd opinion.

Hayley receiving bad test results: http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/hayley/

Cute little Fisher Bug: MRI indicating brainstem tumor stable , but possible growth in another area. Making decisions on treatment.

Nicole: Having problems which may be tumor related.

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling.

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well.

Kody Bear: Getting better and stronger after successful surgery

Matthew: Possible tumor growth, researching options.

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Receiving bad MRI results.

James: Cheyenne’s best friend in the world, feeling really bad and missing Cheyenne.

David: Not eating well and needing encouragement

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback.

Ryan: Taking an antibiotic for a sudden onset of temperature and headache.

Sweet little Madie: Released from the hospital today, fighting a virus. Pray that the fever STAYS away.

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Anticipating 2 major surgeries, the first this Thursday, and the next just a soon as she regains her strength from the first.

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family.

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder.

Caden: One of our newest, cutest little caringbridge friends from Wall.

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant.

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Ewing Sarcoma.

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems.

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well awaiting transplant.

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad, both now home and recuperating, one day at a time.

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of December, the following people are being featured:

Audrey's Umbrella December Featured Friends

Melissa (12) likes movies, crafts & collects pigs

Ray-Anne (8) likes pink and purple, dogs, and collects porcelain dolls

Taylor Marie (3) likes Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger & eye-hand coordination toys

Catie (2) likes story books, toddler toys & animals

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Sunday, November 21, 2004 8:45 PM CST

First and foremost, I have to thank everyone that is continuing to hold us up in prayer. Unless you have experienced the loss of a child, you have no earthly idea how horribly painful this journey is.

Every second of every day the only thought on our minds is how much we miss our baby. How much we long to hold her, see her, talk to her, listen to her, touch her, just be in the room with her. Words can never do justice to the feelings, how deep the pain, how depressing the feelings, how strong the desires.

All the while, we know that Cheyenne is no longer suffering, is in Heaven having a “Cheyenne” blast of a time. We know for fact that we will see her again, and be reunited for eternity. But, as promising as these words seem, now they don’t take away the pain of our separation, and the pain of enduring the wait to be reunited. It is hard to explain, but the pain is there none the less, and is so so intense.

Some days it is almost completely unbearable. Some days we seem to hold up, slightly.

We visit our friends’ caringbridge sites who have also lost children to leave some inspirational message, but the inspiration is not there. I know how they feel. I read their words, and feel exactly the same. A very large part of me is gone.

As strong as we try to be in our faith, each day questions arise. Thoughts race through our heads without being able to control them. Fortunately, our faith in the “fundamentals” is so strong, they can never be taken away. This is our only salvation now in our time of grief, and literally our salvation in the future.

Today I smiled, and cried, at the following thoughts: That sweet little pucker kiss that Cheyenne reserved just for her mom and dad. That Great Big Hug that we got at least thirty times a day. That smile that would melt you , with that twinkle in her eye. That soft sweet touch. Those wacky dances, jokes, anything to make mom and dad happy and smile. Her raising her hand after a coughing attack, and yelling, “I’m OK, I’m OK!” immediately followed by a silly giggle. And the big one for today I found in a photo, our silly little girl running with her knees bent, chasing a neighbor’s chicken, her arms going up and down, and making the STRANGEST noise!! That is Daddy’s girl. Just enough of the little girl in her and the beginnings of a beautiful young lady. I am SO PROUD to be the Daddy of Cheyenne Marie Fiveash!!!!

Thanks to Rob, Melody’s dad, I re-discovered the Candlelighters Foundation website. They have a Cancer Awareness Christmas Tree this year with ribbons in memory of, or in honor of many of our special children. For each donation of at least $5 a ribbon is placed on the tree along with a little message. Their web address is: http://www.candlelighters.org/cancerawarenesstree2004.stm .

Thank you for all the prayers for our family and all the other children. I have noticed that our prayer list is getting awfully, awfully long. There are so many children and families that are in desperate need of prayers.

Cheyenne's Proud Daddy, Forever

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SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Troy’s family with the loss of their baby

Connor’s family spending days without their wonderful son

Olivia’s family spending the first days without their princess:
http://www2.caringbridge.org/mi/oliviasgrace/index.htm

Emerald: Cheyenne’s beautiful caringbridge sister experiencing some problems and awaiting MRI

Hayley receiving bad test results: http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/hayley/

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling

Michael Dornauer: Not doing real well

Kody Bear: Getting better and stronger after successful surgery

Matthew: Possible tumor growth

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Awaiting MRI results

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest, cutest little caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Ewing Sarcoma

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well awaiting transplant

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of November, the following people are being featured:

Emerald (10) likes fish, kittens, & stickers
Kathryn (12) likes crafts, animals, & collects ladybugs
David (51) likes baseball Yankees, football, & Bruce Springsteen
Victoria (33) likes movies, trivia games & Catholic books

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Thursday, November 18, 2004 8:22 PM CST

Initially, I intended to upload a little update last night, and in retrospect, I probably should have. Life without our little pumpkin is pretty hard, each day bringing its own memories and feelings. The last two days were fairly good days and then today came. Not a good day today. So, the update last night would probably have been a little more uplifting.

We have actually been staying pretty busy, which helps. It seems that every day one of the kids come over. I am going to have to ask them if they plan it that way, take turns or something. Trying to keep old dad and mom from going crazy.

Tuesday night we attended our first meeting of Compassionate Friends. It is a support group with groups located all across the U.S. for parents that have lost children. Justin Tackett’s mom and dad were there and we were able to spend quite a bit of time talking to them.

Sometime over the next few days or so, we will be visiting the Shannon Hospital Miracle Kids Network Office. A few people have donated money to the Network in Cheyenne’s memory, and they have asked us if there is anything special that we would like to do with a portion of the money. That is a hard one. I guess we will just try to think like our little stink and ask that it goes in whatever direction she would be most proud of.

Also a little money came in over the past few days, asking us to donate it to one of Cheyenne’s favorite charities. Since we want to really, really do what she would want, we are taking our time to pick just the right thing to do.

Coach Slate contacted ASU and I understand that plans are underway for a bench and a marker with Cheyenne’s name at the Junell Center (the sports complex). I just know that Cheyenne thinks that this is WAY TOO COOL!!!!!! Donna and I have plans to start attending all the games to support our little stink’s team. I also know that Miss Cheyenne will be there with us every time. The Rambelles are HER TEAM!!!!

A few days ago Cheyenne received her second letter from Lem Lem, the little girl from Africa that she “adopted”. It had a picture of Lem Lem and her grandmother enclosed also. I am soooo sorry that Cheyenne did not get to see it. Cheyenne had all these plans, birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, letters, etc. for Lem Lem. We are continuing to support her and I guess we will just have to take up the slack for Cheyenne, and make sure Lem Lem gets everything Cheyenne would want her to have.

Cheyenne had such a HUGE heart, so compassionate, considerate and generous. The little stink really changed mom and dad’s way of life. We still keep a stack of dollar bills in each car for those less fortunate standing on the side of the road. Cheyenne would NEVER let us drive by one without donating a little. As Cheyenne put it, “You never know what happened in that person’s life to bring them to asking for money. Besides, they probably need it more than we do!”

Thank you for all the prayers for our family and all the other children. Please say an extra prayer for a couple of Cheyenne’s really good friends, Emerald, Ray Anne and Melody tonight. They are such sweet young girls. Thanks to a guestbook entry tonight, we have also been introduced to a beautiful little girl named Hayley that really needs prayers. Her website is http://www2.caringbridge.org/ga/hayley/ .

Oh, I almost forgot. I have stolen the following excerpt (thank you Rob) from Melody's website as an explanation of the Candlelighters Foundation and the fundraiser. I also purchased a ribbon in memory of our little stink, Cheyenne. The web address is http://www.candlelighters.org/cancerawarenesstree2004.stm .

"It’s the Candlelighters Foundation. Cancer Awareness Tree 2004, This is great organization and an even better cause. You see for a small ($5.oo) donation or a larger donation of your choice, you can purchase a ribbon to go on the holiday tree in WA. D.C. You can purchase the ribbon for, All children affected by cancer, In honor of someone, or in Memory of someone. I purchased, In Honor of Melody Paige Schleigh the other night before going off to bed, and placed a little message for her on the back of the ribbon. You can even search a list to see what ribbons are going on the tree. Please consider this as a gift for someone you love, or just for. There is a link to there home page on Mel’s home page or click on the link above to purchase your ribbon. Let’s help fill the tree!"

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SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Troy’s family spending the first days without their baby

Connor’s family spending the first days without their wonderful son

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling

Michael Dornauer: Not feeling real well

Kody Bear: Getting better and stronger after successful surgery

Matthew: Possible tumor growth

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest, cutest little caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Ewing Sarcoma

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well awaiting transplant

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of November, the following people are being featured:

Emerald (10) likes fish, kittens, & stickers
Kathryn (12) likes crafts, animals, & collects ladybugs
David (51) likes baseball Yankees, football, & Bruce Springsteen
Victoria (33) likes movies, trivia games & Catholic books

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Saturday, November 13, 2004 7:46 PM CST

It has been 2 long weeks since our baby left us. Two weeks! I miss our pumpkin more today than yesterday and will miss her more tomorrow.

Today was an extraordinarily hard day. Not just for me, Donna as well. But then so was yesterday, and I imagine tomorrow will be also. Words can not express the feelings, the intense sadness and the longing to hold our little girl. With the risk of sounding suicidal to those that have not traveled this road, there is joy in knowing that each day that passes is one day closer to joining Cheyenne for eternity. That will be ONE JOYOUS DAY!!!

I would like to share another one of those Cheyenne stories with you today that we just learned about. She was soooo special.

At Cheyenne’s funeral a young lady waited in a very long line to hug Donna and tell her how special Cheyenne was. Donna, recognizing that the young lady was much older than Cheyenne, asked her how she knew her. This young lady explained that when she was a Senior at Christoval High School she was having a really bad day. She said that she was in the restroom, crying her eyes out over something that had happened, and in walked Cheyenne, this little 12 year old girl. Cheyenne walked up to her, put her arm around her and sat right down in the middle of the restroom floor and comforted her. She explained that by Cheyenne doing that for her turned her day around, and now her life around.

That’s my little stink, a heart as big as the world.

Everyday we have been visiting Cheyenne’s grave, making sure that there are fresh flowers for decoration until the marker gets placed. The other day we discovered that Cheyenne’s friend, Justin Tackett, is not 15 yards away. The last time they saw each other, Justin was off to his Make A Wish Trip, and as Justin was going through the security gates at the airport, Cheyenne screamed across the airport terminal as loud as she could, “HEY JUSTIN”, and gave him a “high sign”. Boy, everybody in the whole airport stopped and looked!!!!

Donna and I have been trying to stay busy each day, and it is not hard. There is so much to do around here, and then eventually, Donna will have to go back to work. I know that emotionally, she is not yet ready, but then I doubt I would be ready for a very long time.

Cinnamon is adjusting somewhat to no longer having her mommy. For days after Cheyenne went to Heaven, Cinnamon was in mourning, and would not even come out of her cage. Now she comes out, and is glued to either Donna or me. We can’t get farther than 6 inches from her.

Thank you for all the prayers for our family and for all the other children. Today when Donna was checking on some of our friends, she commented, “There are soooo many, sooo many!” They and their families all need prayers and support. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy Forever

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SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Troy’s family spending the first days without their baby

Connor’s family spending the first days without their wonderful son

Shawntae Smith: (www3.caringbridge.org/va/shawntae) One of our newer friends that is struggling

Michael Dornauer: Not feeling real well

Kody Bear: Getting better and stronger after successful surgery

Matthew: Possible tumor growth

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest, cutest little caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Ewing Sarcoma

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well awaiting transplant

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of November, the following people are being featured:

Emerald (10) likes fish, kittens, & stickers
Kathryn (12) likes crafts, animals, & collects ladybugs
David (51) likes baseball Yankees, football, & Bruce Springsteen
Victoria (33) likes movies, trivia games & Catholic books

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Monday, November 8, 2004 10:59 PM CST

+ + + + +

It has been just a little over a week since our little pumpkin departed her earthly bounds and joined Christ our Savior in Heaven. Cheyenne is in VERY good company, as there are sooo many of her caringbridge friends that preceded her and several since.

The week seems like yesterday, but then it seems like an eternity.

I wish I could say that we are doing alright, but the truth of it is, we are not. Many, many parents have suffered through this worst of nightmares prior to us and many more have yet to feel the never ending pain and sorrow.

Fortunately, we have our family, friends, and our unfaltering faith to sustain us, no matter how we are faring at the moment. Without faith, how could anyone sustain themselves in times such as this? I would not be truthful if I were to say that doubts and questions do not arise each day. But, in the end, our faith in the Promise overcomes.

We are told that the pain dulls with time. Today I don’t see how, as it increases each day. But then, the thought comes of being reunited FOREVER. That brings momentary peace. Someday, we pray that it will be lasting peace. But for today, today we are one day closer to God’s promise, and to being reunited.

Over the past few days Donna, Diana, Michael, Christopher and I have been struggling with all the arrangements that are necessary to send off a loved one. Finally today, we ordered a beautiful marker to honor our baby. To be perfectly frank, it does not do her justice, but then nothing really would. Cheyenne will be resting between her mother and I at Lawnhaven Memorial Gardens. The marker that we chose, is actually 3 markers, combined on one base, with Cheyenne’s being the beautiful pink centerpiece. I am sure Cheyenne is looking down from Heaven, smiling.

Of all the many, many people that we have had the opportunity to speak to, offering words of wisdom and condolence, two people have touched us and helped us immensely.

One, of course, being Julie, Maddie’s mom. What a beautiful, loving, intelligent person! Her words, her thoughts, and her understanding have helped us continue day to day. Today, thanks to her, I determined that some of the thoughts and feelings that I am experiencing do not mean that I am insane, or that Julie and I are both totally insane, and I laughed for the first time since the 30th.

The other being Bishop Michael Phiffer of the Catholic Diocese of San Angelo. We are not Catholic, but Bishop Phiffer has called our home several times over the past year, has seen us in public, stopped what he was doing to visit and bless our little girl, and visited us 3 times since her passing. One visit, at the funeral home during visitation, lasted almost an hour. He told us how Cheyenne had touched him, inspired him, and changed his life. The conversation eventually turned to Heaven. The words that Bishop Phiffer used gave us renewed strength at a time when we needed it most. Without getting into all the details, the conversation centered around our loved ones not being gone, but actually here, but on a higher spiritual level, but here with us, each and every day. He told us to expect messages from Cheyenne, directly to us, or though other children that we know. I have to admit, Cheyenne has been a busy little stinker in this regard.

We love her more today than yesterday, we miss her more today than yesterday, but someday, we WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN.

Cheyenne’s Proud Daddy, Forever

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SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Troy’s family spending the first days without their baby

Connor’s family spending the first days without their wonderful son

Kody Bear: Getting better and stronger after successful surgery

Matthew: Possible tumor growth

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest, cutest little caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Ewing Sarcoma

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well awaiting transplant

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of November, the following people are being featured:

Emerald (10) likes fish, kittens, & stickers
Kathryn (12) likes crafts, animals, & collects ladybugs
David (51) likes baseball Yankees, football, & Bruce Springsteen
Victoria (33) likes movies, trivia games & Catholic books

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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CHEYENNE’S SERVICE

Wednesday, November 3, 2004 9:16 PM CST
Today was one of those “Cheyenne” very, very busy and special days. I know that our pumpkin was grinning from ear to ear today looking down on us from Heaven.

Today’s Service was sooo special, with soooo many things happening, all for our little sunshine.

To begin with, at the beginning of the Service, as far as you could see were cars and buses. Hundreds upon hundreds of friends, family, and loved ones from every walk of life turned out to say goodbye and to honor our little girl.

The San Angelo Police Department posted their Honor Guard at the door for Miss Cheyenne and provided a motorcycle escort all the way from the church to the cemetery.

The Service itself was 100 percent Cheyenne. Her music and everything. The Christian music that saw her through her radiation treatments, the songs that daddy taught her to play on the keyboard, her’s and her sister’s song, her’s and her moms songs, again 100 percent Cheyenne. Rememberances from church as well as caringbridge friends, karate friends, and family. I am sure Cheyenne loved it! Even the “Pancake” story came up! Daddy wore his “Superman” tie, which has special meaning to the two of us. Of course I had to explain it to several people!!

Mom, Dad, Michael, Christopher and Diana set up rememberance tables in the church. Cheyenne’s trophies and awards, her ASU jersey, all her Karate things, her “love” quilt from school, her Deputy badge and credentials, just about anything that was really, really special to Cheyenne, and tons and tons of our favorite photos.

The “GIRLS” from San Antonio were there. Cheyenne would have loved to have taken them out to lunch!!

AT least 5 Caringbridge and Miracle Children were either there or represented: Justin Tackett’s family. Peyton’s family, Fisher’s Aunt Stacy, Caden and his mom, Trevor and Ross’ Fran. Fisher’s Aunt Stacy, released 13 balloons at the cemetery in honor of Cheyenne’s 13 years. Fisher did the same at his home. Thank you Fishie bug!!!!

The ASU Rambelles Basketball team was there honoring their newest recruit, # 00.

The ASU Rams Basketball team was represented.

Former Mystic Slates teammates were there saying goodbye.

So many schoolmates, from all grades, and the faculty were there. All her classmates wrote “rememberances” and presented them to mom and dad.

The High School Football team presented us with a beautiful football, autographed by every team member.

The San Angelo Firefighters were represented.

There were current and former Law Enforcement officials from almost every state, local and federal agency, from all over the state, there to say goodbye to our pumpkin.

Constable Matthew “Nite” Marshall, of the 4th Precinct in Bexar County, Texas (San Antonio) brought an entire contingent of Deputies. They led the procession to the cemetery for their little Deputy, issued and read a Proclamation for our baby, and presented mom and dad with a flag that was flown over the U.S. capital during the Service.

Cheyenne was honored with SIXTEEN Black Belt Karate Pall Bearers. There were representatives from many other Karate schools, as well as almost every member of her Karate School and the Tang Soo Do Karate Association.

AND, today Cheyenne was presented with the HIGHEST HONOR IN KARATE. The rank of 1ST Degree Black Belt, Dan # TKA-4493-73. The certificate reads: CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH For demonstrated proficiency in American Tang Soo Do. Awarded under the Seal of the Tang Soo Do Karate Association this 30th day of October, 2004. The person named above has shown the eternal spirit of a warrior and is awarded the highest honor in American Tang Soo Do. Along with the certificate an embroidered black belt with Cheyenne’s name was presented to mom and dad.

When it came time to head off to Cheyenne’s resting place, I know she had to smile. There were her friends from the Los Carnales Motorcycle Club, the Christian’s Motorcycle Club, and the Survivor’s Motorcycle Club. The Harley’s were ROARING!!!!!!!! They even had a special place in the procession, right there with the family.

Cheyenne’s earthly body is now at rest, while she flies and plays in the Heavens. I am so, so, happy for her, and at the same time I am hurting so very much. I am sure that as long as I am in this earthly body, there will never be a moment that I am not in excruciating pain of not being with her. Words can’t describe it, so I won’t try. Unfortunately, so many of you know the pain.

I want to personally thank each and every one of you for all the wonderful prayers that you have offered for our beautiful Cheyenne and our family, as well as all the other beautiful children. Please do not stop praying for our friends. Prayers are answered, just sometimes they may not be answered the way that we desire.

There was a time that we didn’t even consider the what if’s, or the tomorrows. Then we were thrust into the world of Pediatric Cancer and Brain Tumors. Our life began day to day. Then it became hour to hour. Then it became minute to minute. What we would give for just one more minute!!!! But, now Cheyenne is at complete Peace, Joyful, Happy, beyond belief. She is sooo wonderful, we can not even comprehend. Someday! Someday!! Until the Lord decides it is our time. Then we will join our little girl and we will understand. It is the days, hours, and minutes between now and then that are on my mind at present. Without the Lord it would be impossible. At present, it even seems impossible knowing the Lord. Please keep our entire family in your prayers. Mom, Dad, Michael, Christopher, Diana, Grandpa and both Grandmas, Bryce, Alyssa, and especially little M&M. Poor little Mckayla, she misses her Aunt as much as I do, and is too young to understand..

Cheyenne's PROUD daddy, Forever!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 3, 2004 9:16 PM CST

Today was one of those “Cheyenne” very, very busy and special days. I know that our pumpkin was grinning from ear to ear today looking down on us from Heaven.

Today’s Service was sooo special, with soooo many things happening, all for our little sunshine.

To begin with, at the beginning of the Service, as far as you could see were cars and buses. Hundreds upon hundreds of friends, family, and loved ones from every walk of life turned out to say goodbye and to honor our little girl.

The San Angelo Police Department posted their Honor Guard at the door for Miss Cheyenne and provided a motorcycle escort all the way from the church to the cemetery.

The Service itself was 100 percent Cheyenne. Her music and everything. The Christian music that saw her through her radiation treatments, the songs that daddy taught her to play on the keyboard, her’s and her sister’s song, her’s and her moms songs, again 100 percent Cheyenne. Rememberances from church as well as caringbridge friends, karate friends, and family. I am sure Cheyenne loved it! Even the “Pancake” story came up! Daddy wore his “Superman” tie, which has special meaning to the two of us. Of course I had to explain it to several people!!

Mom, Dad, Michael, Christopher and Diana set up rememberance tables in the church. Cheyenne’s trophies and awards, her ASU jersey, all her Karate things, her “love” quilt from school, her Deputy badge and credentials, just about anything that was really, really special to Cheyenne, and tons and tons of our favorite photos.

The “GIRLS” from San Antonio were there. Cheyenne would have loved to have taken them out to lunch!!

AT least 5 Caringbridge and Miracle Children were either there or represented: Justin Tackett’s family. Peyton’s family, Fisher’s Aunt Stacy, Caden and his mom, Trevor and Ross’ Fran. Fisher’s Aunt Stacy, released 13 balloons at the cemetery in honor of Cheyenne’s 13 years. Fisher did the same at his home. Thank you Fishie bug!!!!

The ASU Rambelles Basketball team was there honoring their newest recruit, # 00.

The ASU Rams Basketball team was represented.

Former Mystic Slates teammates were there saying goodbye.

So many schoolmates, from all grades, and the faculty were there. All her classmates wrote “rememberances” and presented them to mom and dad.

The High School Football team presented us with a beautiful football, autographed by every team member.

The San Angelo Firefighters were represented.

There were current and former Law Enforcement officials from almost every state, local and federal agency, from all over the state, there to say goodbye to our pumpkin.

Constable Matthew “Nite” Marshall, of the 4th Precinct in Bexar County, Texas (San Antonio) brought an entire contingent of Deputies. They led the procession to the cemetery for their little Deputy, issued and read a Proclamation for our baby, and presented mom and dad with a flag that was flown over the U.S. capital during the Service.

Cheyenne was honored with SIXTEEN Black Belt Karate Pall Bearers. There were representatives from many other Karate schools, as well as almost every member of her Karate School and the Tang Soo Do Karate Association.

AND, today Cheyenne was presented with the HIGHEST HONOR IN KARATE. The rank of 1ST Degree Black Belt, Dan # TKA-4493-73. The certificate reads: CHEYENNE MARIE FIVEASH For demonstrated proficiency in American Tang Soo Do. Awarded under the Seal of the Tang Soo Do Karate Association this 30th day of October, 2004. The person named above has shown the eternal spirit of a warrior and is awarded the highest honor in American Tang Soo Do. Along with the certificate an embroidered black belt with Cheyenne’s name was presented to mom and dad.

When it came time to head off to Cheyenne’s resting place, I know she had to smile. There were her friends from the Los Carnales Motorcycle Club, the Christian’s Motorcycle Club, and the Survivor’s Motorcycle Club. The Harley’s were ROARING!!!!!!!! They even had a special place in the procession, right there with the family.

Cheyenne’s earthly body is now at rest, while she flies and plays in the Heavens. I am so, so, happy for her, and at the same time I am hurting so very much. I am sure that as long as I am in this earthly body, there will never be a moment that I am not in excruciating pain of not being with her. Words can’t describe it, so I won’t try. Unfortunately, so many of you know the pain.

I want to personally thank each and every one of you for all the wonderful prayers that you have offered for our beautiful Cheyenne and our family, as well as all the other beautiful children. Please do not stop praying for our friends. Prayers are answered, just sometimes they may not be answered the way that we desire.

There was a time that we didn’t even consider the what if’s, or the tomorrows. Then we were thrust into the world of Pediatric Cancer and Brain Tumors. Our life began day to day. Then it became hour to hour. Then it became minute to minute. What we would give for just one more minute!!!! But, now Cheyenne is at complete Peace, Joyful, Happy, beyond belief. She is sooo wonderful, we can not even comprehend. Someday! Someday!! Until the Lord decides it is our time. Then we will join our little girl and we will understand. It is the days, hours, and minutes between now and then that are on my mind at present. Without the Lord it would be impossible. At present, it even seems impossible knowing the Lord. Please keep our entire family in your prayers. Mom, Dad, Michael, Christopher, Diana, Grandpa and both Grandmas, Bryce, Alyssa, and especially little M&M. Poor little Mckayla, she misses her Aunt as much as I do, and is too young to understand..

Cheyenne's PROUD daddy, Forever!!!!!!

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SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Troy’s family spending the first few days without their baby

Connor’s family spending the first few days without their wonderful son

Kody Bear: Getting better and stronger after successful surgery

Matthew: Possible tumor growth

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Ray-Anne: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Ewing Sarcoma

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well awaiting transplant

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of November, the following people are being featured:

Emerald (10) likes fish, kittens, & stickers
Kathryn (12) likes crafts, animals, & collects ladybugs
David (51) likes baseball Yankees, football, & Bruce Springsteen
Victoria (33) likes movies, trivia games & Catholic books

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Monday, November 1, 2004 0:01 AM CST

UPDATE

We just learned of sweet little Troy going to be with the Lord this morning. Please, Please remember his family in your prayers.

Please remember Connor's family in your prayers tonight as well, as beautiful Connor joined Cheyenne yesterday. This is sooo hard, only through our faith and the Lord can we overcome this feeling of dispair and loneliness. Also please pray that Rhonda or Eddie also receive word from God as to Connor's wellbeing, as did Donna.

......................................

I just had to update tonight with a very short story, about our sweet pumpkin. I would post the entire story tonight, but we want to have an opportunity to speak to a few of our dear caringbridge friends to relate our story first hand.

Last night Cheyenne’s mom had a dream, coming all the way from Heaven. It was the most vivid dream she can ever recall having in her life. There was our precious Cheyenne, in heaven, smiling, standing, more beautiful than ever in the company of some of our very, very special caringbridge angels, and our Savior. In the dream was the overpowering sense of happiness, joy and that we no longer should worry.

Donna actually awoke, got to the computer and put the dream into words while it was vivid and fresh in her memory.

As if this one dream were not enough, God sent almost the same dream to one of the caringbridge angel’s Aunt over 1,000 miles away, knowing that this morning we would be told of that dream as well.

So here we are, 1,000 miles apart, and almost the identical dream comes to both in the same night. Coincidence, I think not.

GOD is Good!!!!

Pumpkin, we love you, we still miss you horribly more and more each minute, but we know that you are in a WONDERFUL place and we WILL see you again. Save us a place, OK?

The following was published in the San Angelo Standard Times on today, 10/31/04.

By His stripes, she is healed. Isaiah 53:5

Cheyenne Marie Fiveash, 13 years old, went home to be with the Father, our Lord, on October 30, 2004 after a courageous battle with a brain tumor. Cheyenne leaves behind Roy Fiveash, her earthly father, Donna Barger Fiveash her mother, brothers and sister, Michael Fiveash and wife Jodi, Christopher Fiveash and wife Leslie and Diana, all of San Angelo. Paternal Grandparents William Elbert Fiveash and Ruby Bridges Fiveash of Paint Rock, Maternal Grandmother Pearl Barger and late Grandfather John H. Barger (Grandpa Frog), several aunts, uncles, favorite nieces Alyssa, McKayla and Madison Fiveash , 1 nephew, Bryce Fiveash, her little Chihuahua baby, Cinnamon Sugar, and many, many friends and loved ones through out the world.

Cheyenne was born an athlete. She loved track, loved and played basketball on Coach Slate’s team, the Mystic Slates, and was a champion in Tang Soo Do Karate with the Marital Arts Academies in San Angelo. Her trophies fill her room.

Cheyenne was also born an animal lover. She could not pass up an animal without wanting to take it home. Of her many pets and animals, her horse, Black Jack, and her baby puppy, Cinnamon Sugar Fiveash meant the world to her.

She was an honorary Constable with the Bexar County Constable’s Office in San Antonio and an honorary member of the Angelo State University Rambelles Basketball team, number 00.

She was born in and raised near San Angelo and attended the 7th grade at Christoval Jr High School where she was an excellent student and where she leaves many, many friends. Recently, on her 13th birthday, her friends from Christoval Jr High had a billboard, with Cheyenne’s photo and wishing her a happy birthday, placed on US 67 approximately 5 miles west of San Angelo where it still stands. This gift gave Cheyenne immeasurable happiness, and was due in large to the efforts of Cheyenne’s very special friends, Mr. and Mrs. Greg Bouligny and their sons James and John.

In recent months, while battling a brain tumor, she has had the privilege of meeting thousands upon thousands of people through her website, www.caringbridge.org/tx/cheyenne5 . Through this website Cheyenne made many, many friends from around the world, both children like herself battling cancer, and complete strangers who have gotten to know and love her. This website was her little ministry and gave her the opportunity to put a little sunshine in other cancer children’s lives.

Our Baby and Little Sister;

We miss you so very, very much. Life is forever changed without you and endless sadness will invade each day. We are anxiously awaiting our reunion and homecoming in Heaven. We will love you forever and you will always be my little stink and pumpkin, my mama’s girl, my little sis, my little booger, and my little turkey. We WILL see you later!

Daddy, Mommy, Michael, Christopher, and Diana

Services are scheduled for 10am on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 at Trinity Lutheran Church in San Angelo followed by burial at Lawnhaven Memorial Gardens.

In lieu of flowers, Cheyenne would prefer donations to your favorite charity. Her favorite charities were Shannon Hospital Miracle Kids Network, Make A Wish Foundation, Give Kids the World, The Tumbleweed Foundation, Caringbridge, and Audrey’s Umbrella. All organizations dedicated to putting a little sunshine in a sick child’s life, and all linked to her website listed above.

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Cheyenne Marie Fiveash

09/23/91 - 10/30/04

Services to be:

10am Wednesday, 11/03/04
Trinity Lutheran Church
3536 YMCA Drive, San Angelo, TX
76904

Followed by burial at Lawnhaven Memorial Gardens
4989 FM Highway1223
San Angelo, TX 76905

Our baby, Cheyenne, is currently resting at Johnson’s Funeral Home
435 W. Beauregard, San Angelo, TX 76903

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Kody Bear: Getting better and stronger after successful surgery

Matthew: Possible tumor growth

Troy: Possible tumor growth and having difficulties

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Connor's family at his passing

Ray-Anne: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Rhabdo

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well awaiting transplant

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of October, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Saturday, October 30, 2004 8:34 AM CDT

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Cheyenne Marie Fiveash

09/23/91 - 10/30/04

Services to be:

10am Wednesday, 11/03/04
Trinity Lutheran Church
3536 YMCA Drive, San Angelo, TX
76904

Followed by burial at Lawnhaven Memorial Gardens
4989 FM Highway1223
San Angelo, TX 76905

Our baby, Cheyenne, is currently resting at Johnson’s Funeral Home
435 W. Beauregard, San Angelo, TX 76903

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Just yesterday morning, Miss Cheyenne was planning her outing for the day, picking out the clothes she was going to wear, and feeling a little better than she did the day before. By noon, our entire world came crashing down. Within a very short period, Cheyenne went from planning our day together to being critical, to being in a coma. As the evening wore on, our pumpkin fought with all her might, her vitals all began to improve and we believed that we were coming out of the woods. Now we are without our little girl forever here on earth. The pain is so unbearable, the feeling of loss is without comprehension, our lives will never be the same. We will miss our pumpkin until the day we die and are finally reunited. Without His Promise, how could anyone bear the loss of a child?

Rather than spend the day as a complete family, the remaining family spent today making funeral and burial arrangements. We are greatly dependent on Cheyenne’s Big Sis, Diana for the right decisions. Diana knew Cheyenne front to back, her likes and dislikes, they were sisters. I know how rough this has been on mom and dad, I can only imagine the grief that Diana, Michael, and Christopher are going through. They all had their own special connection to Cheyenne, my buddy.

Cheyenne’s very heartbroken daddy forever

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This morning at 1:06am, the gates of Heaven opened wide for our little pumpkin, our beautiful young lady, our little Champ, Miss Cheyenne Marie Fiveash. She has won her last battle and her trophy is everlasting life. We are completely without words to describe our emptiness and profound sadness to have to say goodbye to our sunshine. Our world will never, never be the same, and we will miss her every second of every day. She was the most wonderful daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, granddaughter, niece and friend one could ever have. But she was also the daughter of God, who decided it was time to call her home, leaving us here on earth to wait for our homecoming and reunion.

Before she left us today she was her loving, caring, and smiling self. As sick as she became this afternoon and evening, she made a point of telling every single family member in the house, including little Cinnamon Sugar, that she loved them, sharing those hugs and kisses that we are already missing horribly. Even though she could barely speak, she made sure everyone in the room knew about dear old Dad’s pancake mishap a few days ago. That’s our little stink! We don’t know how we can live without her!

Arrangements have not yet been made, and information will be posted later.

Cheyenne’s Proud Mom and Dad Forever

Friday, October 29, 2004 10:34 PM CDT

Today has been a very long and hard day. As of this minute, Cheyenne is resting comfortably. We will update with more information tomorrow. Please remember our pumpkin in your prayers.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers, thoughts, guestbook entries, cards and emails. They always are wonderful, but during the tough times they keep us going day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. Thank you. Also thank you for remembering all our friends out there who are also traveling down similar journeys.

God Bless you all,

Cheyenne’s dad

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Kody Bear: Getting better and stronger after successful surgery

Matthew: Possible tumor growth

Troy: Possible tumor growth and having difficulties

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Connor: In Hospice !!!!! HIS BIRTHDAY IN 3 DAYS!!!!!

Ray-Anne: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Rhabdo

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well awaiting transplant

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of October, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Thursday, October 28, 2004 9:58 PM CDT

Last night was a really rough night for our pumpkin. Her lungs began to fill with fluids late last night and it became pretty hard for her to breath.

Today, thanks to Nurse Holly, Cheyenne is on medication to dry up the fluids in her body, on oxygen therapy to make it easier to breath, and taking breathing treatments which will hopefully assist in clearing the lungs. We are hoping that she starts resting comfortably tonight, although the medication really hasn’t had time to do its magic. Just the oxygen makes a difference.

She did ask for one of her famous outings today, although you could tell that she was really tired and weak. The outing wasn’t much to speak of, but made Cheyenne happy. We drove into town and bought her a cherry icee.

This evening both of Cheyenne’s basketball Coaches came over for a visit. Coach Slate (of Cheyenne’s former team, The Mystic Slates) and Coach Brooks of the ASU Rambelles came for a nice visit, even bringing Cheyenne egg drop soup. The Rambelles play a scrimmage this Saturday, and if Cheyenne is feeling up to it, they have a place reserved down next to the bench waiting on her.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers, thoughts, guestbook entries, cards and emails. They always are wonderful, but during the tough times they keep us going day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. Thank you. Also thank you for remembering all our friends out there who are also traveling down similar journeys.

God Bless you all,

Cheyenne’s dad

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Kody Bear: Getting better and stronger after successful surgery

Matthew: Possible tumor growth

Troy: Possible tumor growth and having difficulties

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Connor: In Hospice !!!!! HIS BIRTHDAY IN 3 DAYS!!!!!

Ray-Anne: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Rhabdo

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well awaiting transplant

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of October, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Wednesday, October 27, 2004 8:53 PM CDT

After a very long and stressful night for mom and dad, Cheyenne woke up feeling just a little stronger and better this morning than the past 2 days. She was actually able to eat scrambled eggs this morning for breakfast, which was a major improvement over the night before.

Tonight Cheyenne is again very tired, and is experiencing the majority of the problems that have manifested themselves in her over the past couple of days, but still, not quite as bad.

Also tonight Cheyenne has good reason to be tired, as today was a steady stream of visitors. The poor little stink really became overtired today, even if it was just sitting in her chair trying to listen to everything going on around her.

Among many others, both Pastors from church came by to visit, to pray with us and bring communion for us all.

This evening , my baby finally broke down and started crying, and told me that she wanted to be able to eat again, to walk again, to see normal again, and to smile again. I cried with her and told her that we are doing everything in our power to get her on that road. She is the most wonderful young lady. Donna and I have been so blessed to have 4 of the most wonderful children in the world. Truthfully, we could not have been more blessed.

Please continue to remember our pumpkin in your prayers as well as all our other friends. I understand that Cheyenne’s friend, Justin Tackett from San Angelo, went to be with the Lord yesterday, so please keep his family close in your prayers as well.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers, thoughts, guestbook entries, cards and emails. They always are wonderful, but during the tough times they keep us going day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. Thank you. Also thank you for remembering all our friends out there who are also traveling down similar journeys.

God Bless you all,

Cheyenne’s dad

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Justin Tackett’s family, with the loss of their wonderful son

Kody Bear: Getting better and stronger after successful surgery

Matthew: Possible tumor growth

Troy: Possible tumor growth and having difficulties

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Connor: In Hospice !!!!! HIS BIRTHDAY IN 4 DAYS!!!!!

Ray-Anne: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Rhabdo

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well awaiting transplant

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of October, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Tuesday, October 26, 2004 9:15 PM CDT

Each day brings on more challenges for my baby. There are so many things that she just can’t do or can’t do well now. The past 3 or 4 days have really taken their toll.

As of tonight, her ability to eat solid foods has greatly diminished, as well as a few other abilities that most of us take for granted.

Please continue to remember our pumpkin in your prayers.
Thank you for all the wonderful prayers, thoughts, guestbook entries, cards and emails. They always are wonderful, but during the tough times they keep us going day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. Thank you. Also thank you for remembering all our friends out there who are also traveling down similar journeys.

God Bless you all,

Cheyenne’s dad

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Kody Bear: In PICU after surgery, doing pretty well and out of the coma.

Matthew: Possible tumor growth

Troy: Possible tumor growth and having difficulties

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Connor: In Hospice

Ray-Anne: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Rhabdo

Justin Tackett: In Hospice for Rhabdo

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems

David: Thanksgivings and praise for a prayer answered. David is feeling and doing much better.

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of October, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Monday, October 25, 2004 10:22 PM CDT

For the next several days I will leave this special request at the beginning of Cheyenne’s journal.

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Cheyenne’s caringbridge friend, Connor Hunley, has a birthday coming up at the end of the month. A friend thought it would be nice if Connor could be cheered up with a few “early” birthday cards. Connor has been through so much lately, and now recent scans indicate that the cancer is very quickly spreading all over his body, even after his recent surgery. If you could spare a stamp and a little time, this little boy would sure get a few smiles knowing that there are many people that care for him. Connor’s mailing address is P.O. Box 522 Goodlettsville, TN 37072 Thank you.

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First of all, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for all the prayers and wonderful guestbook entries. Hopefully Cheyenne, mom and I will have an opportunity to read them together tomorrow.

Today was another one of those long days but it was a pretty quick trip to San Antonio and back. We actually arrived back at 6pm, but have been without power until a few minutes ago.

Although today was not full of good news, we are putting our faith, trust and lives in the hands of God and continuing to pray for healing for our beautiful young lady, Cheyenne. We will never give up hope and never give up faith!!

Medically speaking, as we anticipated, there are no other proven options for treatment of this tumor. There is one Phase I clinical trial by the Pediatric Brain Tumor Consortium that Cheyenne “might” qualify for. It consists of a chemo drug used in adults for other types of cancer, has not been tried on brain tumors, unsure if it breaks the brain barrier, and has not been given to pediatric patients prior to this trial. This trial is to attempt to determine dosage and chemo toxicities, and to see if there is any benefit to brain tumor patients. We attempted to contact the Dr in charge of the trial in Houston, TX all day today, but as of yet have not heard from her. From everything that I have learned about trials, if Cheyenne was accepted, it would probably be at a minimum 1 ½ to 2 weeks prior to beginning. For children with this tumor, and for children as sick as Cheyenne is, that is a lifetime, plain and simple.

After meeting with Dr Estrada, we reached an agreement that the first chemo, and the only chemo that Cheyenne has had that appeared to work, may still have some effectiveness with this tumor. So as of tonight, Cheyenne resumed taking Temodar and is combining it with Celebrex to help its efficacy. Basically, it was this or nothing. The good news is that there have been some adults and children that have been off Temodar for a while, similar to Cheyenne, and then showed some positive results when put back on. Of course no chemo lasts forever, the tumor becomes resistant to it eventually.

Cheyenne is continuing having a great attitude, although her little body is failing from this tumor. Over the past 1 1/2 days Cheyenne has become very tired, weak, and several symptoms came on very suddenly. The steroid is not seeming to hold off this beast as it did a week ago. But she is a very strong spirited and strong physically. At the Dr’s office Cheyenne was very, very sick and very, very weak. Within an hour of leaving some strength had returned and she was her laughing and smiling self. We just never know what the next day will bring.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers, thoughts, guestbook entries, cards and emails. They always are wonderful, but during the tough times they keep us going day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. Thank you. Also thank you for remembering all our friends out there who are also traveling down similar journeys.

God Bless you all,

Cheyenne’s dad

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Kody Bear: In PICU after surgery, doing pretty well and holding his own.

Matthew: Possible tumor growth

Troy: Possible tumor growth and having difficulties

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Connor: In Hospice

Ray-Anne: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Melody: Currently fighting back after having a setback

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Rhabdo

Justin Tackett: In Hospice for Rhabdo

Tyler Tucker: Fighting Rhabdo and having a few problems

David: Thanksgivings and praise for a prayer answered. David is feeling and doing much better.

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of October, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sunday, October 24, 2004 6:14 PM CDT

Saturday, October 23, 2004 8:27 PM CDT

Friday, October 22, 2004 7:09 PM CDT

Thursday, October 21, 2004 11:08 PM CDT

For the next several days I will leave this special request at the beginning of Cheyenne’s journal.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Cheyenne’s caringbridge friend, Connor Hunley, has a birthday coming up at the end of the month. A friend thought it would be nice if Connor could be cheered up with a few “early” birthday cards. Connor has been through so much lately, and now recent scans indicate that the cancer is very quickly spreading all over his body, even after his recent surgery. If you could spare a stamp and a little time, this little boy would sure get a few smiles knowing that there are many people that care for him. Connor’s mailing address is P.O. Box 522 Goodlettsville, TN 37072 Thank you.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Within the past 2 days we have learned that 3 of our very good caringbridge friends have either started experiencing problems that could be related to tumor growth or a recent MRI revealed unexpected tumor growth. Please remember these wonderful kids and their families in your prayers. Matthew’s and Kody’s sites are linked to Cheyenne’s site at the top, and I have placed Troy’s at the bottom of the page in case you care to leave a message of encouragement to them.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sorry for the late entry, but we were spending some wonderful family time with my Dad this evening and tonight and just got home.

Today Cheyenne was the proud recipient of an absolutely beautiful shawl presented to her by members of the Christoval Methodist Church. The church just started a new healing outreach program, knitted this beautiful shawl, anointed it with oil, and prayed over it for Cheyenne’s healing. Mrs Lambert, who delivered it to Cheyenne today, said that with each stitch she said a prayer for Cheyenne. Hopefully, Cheyenne will wear it Sunday to church.

Today was Cheyenne’s Grandpa’s (my Dad) 85th birthday. The entire family, kids and grandkids, all spent the evening and most of tonight celebrating at their house in Paint Rock. The best part of the night was watching my dad and Cheyenne. They spent well over an hour huddled in the kitchen, talking, laughing, and just having a wonderful time. Cheyenne sure thinks a lot of her Grandpa and he of her.

Health wise, Cheyenne was pretty tired this morning and afternoon, but her energy really picked up this evening when she was with Grandpa. We were going to start her steroid taper today, but she complained once of a short headache when she sat down hard in her chair, so we will probably wait another few days just to see.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers, thoughts, guestbook entries, cards and emails. They always are wonderful, but during the tough times they keep us going day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. Thank you. Also thank you for remembering all our friends out there who are also traveling down similar journeys.

God Bless you all,

Cheyenne’s dad

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SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Kody Bear: Having some scary symptoms

Matthew: Possible tumor growth

Troy: Possible tumor growth

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Connor: In Hospice

Ray-Anne: Currently experiencing problems

Melody: Currently experiencing problems

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Rhabdo

Justin Tackett: In Hospice for Rhabdo

Jessie: Tests results not good

Jackson: Feeling lonely and depressed

David: Having headaches and other bad chemo side effects

Ashley: Having tests to determine if facial paralysis can be reversed

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of October, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Wednesday, October 20, 2004 8:18 PM CDT

For the next several days I will leave this special request at the beginning of Cheyenne’s journal.

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Cheyenne’s caringbridge friend, Connor Hunley, has a birthday coming up at the end of the month. A friend thought it would be nice if Connor could be cheered up with a few “early” birthday cards. Connor has been through so much lately, and now recent scans indicate that the cancer is very quickly spreading all over his body, even after his recent surgery. If you could spare a stamp and a little time, this little boy would sure get a few smiles knowing that there are many people that care for him. Connor’s mailing address is P.O. Box 522 Goodlettsville, TN 37072 Thank you.

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For those that don’t know, our very good friend Kody started having a few problems yesterday that sounded scary. Hopefully by tonight they have some answers and they are all good. So please remember our Kody Bear in your prayers.

Also, I have added a little boy by the name of Cale Michael to the prayer list below. Cale is the grandson of a good friend of mine from San Antonio and was born in August. They just discovered that his skull plate is fused and the Drs are going to have to do neurosurgery to attempt to correct the problem. Cale doesn’t have a caringbridge site, but please keep him and his entire family in your prayers as well.

Today was a pretty good day for Cheyenne. Of course, it would be much better if she were able to just get out of the wheelchair and take off running, but we are working on that. Since putting her back on the steroids, she improved quite a bit and is now holding steady. Most importantly, she has no headaches and her GREAT sense of humor is back.

It seems that generally, the funniest things happening around here lately, are all related to me. At least so Cheyenne thinks.

For the past 4 days Cheyenne will be sitting there, and then without warning start laughing and giggling out loud. This happens several times a day. Only today did I find out what was so funny. Several days ago mom made pancakes for breakfast. I fixed mine all up the way I like them with butter and syrup, and went into the living room (I know we shouldn’t be eating in the living room) to join Cheyenne. No sooner than I sat down, a big sneeze came on. Well, as my luck would have it, I sneezed, my hand jumped, and the plate of pancakes did a somersault in the air and landed upside down on the floor. I didn’t think it was so funny, but Cheyenne still does. The little stink!!

Today, to allow Cheyenne to escape from the house, we all went into town to drop a vehicle off to be repaired. Again, as my luck would have it, both of our vehicles need repair at the same time, so we are taking turns dropping them off. Anyway, it was in the middle of the afternoon, and since Cheyenne has been on steroids, she enjoys a 3pm snack each day. Normally Cheyenne insists on the snack being vegetables or fruit, since a girl on steroids has to watch her weight, you know! Well, as a treat, I took Cheyenne to a local restaurant that serves a dessert called a Cookie Monster. Cheyenne just loooooves those, and has been talking about them for weeks, but didn’t want to ask to eat one.

After the three of us shared one and we were on the way home, Cheyenne started that laughing and giggling again. By now, I just assumed that she was again laughing at dear old dad for the pancake mishap. Then the little stink mad this noise like she was in pain and I quickly looked over at her. She was holding her lips with both hands and had this strange look on her face. Well, when I asked her what was the matter, she started laughing again, and said, “ Cookie Monster, I am just trying to keep myself from GRINNING too big, IT WAS GOOOOOOD!!!”

Now you know why I often refer to my pumpkin as a little stink!!!!!

Also, before I forget, I need to publicly thank one of Cheyenne’s Tumbleweed friends. Arabella Uhry, who is not much younger than Cheyenne, sent Cheyenne a Cookie Bouquet in the mail today. Thanks Arabella!! Of course, we might have to hide it from Cheyenne, it is AWFULLY GOOD!

And, over the past couple of days Cheyenne has received not 1 but 2 of the most beautiful handmade quilts in the world in the mail. One from Mary of Tumbleweed and the other from Justyn’s family. You will not believe how beautiful these are. We hope to put some photos up as soon as we can of Cheyenne all snuggling in them…. She is going to be a warm little girl (young lady) this winter!!!!

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers, thoughts, guestbook entries, cards and emails. They always are wonderful, but during the tough times they keep us going day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. Thank you. Also thank you for remembering all our friends out there who are also traveling down similar journeys.

God Bless you all,

Cheyenne’s dad

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SOME OF CHEYENNE’S FRIENDS IN NEED OF PRAYERS

Kody Bear: Having some scary symptoms

Cale Michael and his family: Born with a fused skull plate and anticipating surgery in an attempt to correct the problem.

Connor: In Hospice

Ray-Anne: Currently experiencing problems

Melody: Currently experiencing problems

Jennifer: Praying for her safety and that she will contact her family

A.J. Wallace: In a local hospital suffering from a severe muscular/neurological disorder

Caden: One of our newest caringbridge friends from Wall

Bailee: Currently in NY undergoing Bone Marrow Transplant

Drew: Cheyenne’s friend from San Antonio fighting Rhabdo

Justin Tackett: In Hospice for Rhabdo

Jessie: Tests results not good

Jackson: Feeling lonely and depressed

David: Having headaches and other bad chemo side effects

Ashley: Having tests to determine if facial paralysis can be reversed

Haley (Haley’s Home): Not feeling well

Pam Carman (www3.caringbridge.org/nc/pamc/): Feeling very sick and weak

Johnny Thompson’s (one of Cheyenne’s karate Sifu’s) mom and dad

All the men and women serving in the Armed Forces, especially those deployed in unfriendly countries.

Cole and Doug: In Iraq

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of October, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Tuesday, October 19, 2004 9:27 PM CDT

Monday, October 18, 2004 7:34 PM CDT

Monday, October 18, 2004 7:32 PM CDT

Sunday, October 17, 2004 8:49 PM CDT

Saturday, October 16, 2004 7:46 PM CDT

Friday, October 15, 2004 8:22 PM CDT

Friday, October 15, 2004 8:19 PM CDT

Thursday, October 14, 2004 8:28 PM CDT

For the next several days I will leave this special request at the beginning of Cheyenne’s journal.

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Cheyenne’s caringbridge friend, Connor Hunley, has a birthday coming up at the end of the month. A friend thought it would be nice if Connor could be cheered up with a few “early” birthday cards. Connor has been through so much lately, and now recent scans indicate that the cancer is very quickly spreading all over his body, even after his recent surgery. The Drs ordered a rescan Thursday and we are praying that the first scans were wrong. If you could spare a stamp and a little time, this little boy would sure get a few smiles knowing that there are many people that care for him. Connor’s mailing address is P.O. Box 522 Goodlettsville, TN 37072 Thank you.

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Cheyenne had a good day today, feeling fairly well, and having fun just hanging out with mom, dad and big sis.

This afternoon Cheyenne and I took a short trip to Christoval School to see a few friends, turn in an AR book, and see what needed to be done as far as Cheyenne’s enrollment in school was concerned.

As luck would have it, about 2 minutes after arriving, the school was having a mandatory assembly, so it cut down on Cheyenne’s visiting quite a bit.

However, in just a few seconds word got out that Miss Cheyenne was in school and the Principals office became crowded with staff and friends. Cheyenne sure received a few hugs from all her favorite teachers!!!! I say all her favorites, because today when I asked her who her favorites were, she said that they all were!!! She may grow up to be a politician!! Ha.

Also while there, Cheyenne picked up a basketball schedule so she could hopefully attend a few of the home games.

Speaking of basketball, tonight is the Midnight Madness at Angelo State University. Cheyenne wants to go OH SO BAD!!!! After all, she wants to root her teammates on all season, especially at the start!! I personally don’t think she will make it tonight, since it starts at 11pm. My little stink normally gets zonked about 10pm and starts asking to go to bed. I hope she feels up to it, as she is looking forward to it so much, planning to wear her ASU jersey and everything. But, we’ll just have to see.

Boy did Cheyenne receive a pleasant surprise today. Her caringbridge friend and sister, LaKota, sent Cheyenne a BEAUTIFUL bouquet of flowers with balloons. Cheyenne has been smiling ever since. I don’t know if the delivery person smiled, poor guy, we live about 7 miles from town. Ha. He had to ask directions and everything.. THANK YOU LAKOTA!!!! THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL AND MADE THIS LITTLE GIRL’S DAY!!!!!!

Today was Cheyenne’s last dose of Decadron steroid. It is really scary for mom and dad, as we pray that the symptoms don’t increase or reappear. Since she has been tapering for the past week and on such a small dose, several of the steroid side effects are already going away. All the swelling in her feet and hands went away a few days ago, and her face is also beginning to regain its normal shape.

The GREAT news is that her strength is remaining pretty constant, even her left side which is the side that would be effected by the tumor. The bad news is that over the past few days her left eye has regained that “different look” compared to her right eye. It has been this way for the past several months, but while on steroids both eyes became pretty much the same size, the first time in a loooong time. I understand that this is most likely caused by a combination of pressure and paralysis on that side.

Another symptom, which started immediately after she had hydrocephalus, is that she has a problem with a tickling sensation in her throat on the paralyzed side of her face. It can cause some really intense coughing and sneezing events. But at least she can cough and clear her throat now. After surgery and before this last round of steroids she became so weak she could barely talk and definitely could not cough or clear her throat. Now the neighbors can hear her down the street!!

Also, like several children that experienced hydrocephalus, her saliva glands seem to be super active. And with the left side of her mouth paralyzed, it sometimes creates problems, slipping out without her realizing it. The steroid really never did anything for this or the tickling sensation in her throat.

Before ending, I need to introduce everyone to the cutest little boy you have ever seen. His name is Caden, and he is from Wall, TX, just a few miles from us, where his mom and dad are both teachers. Little Caden is suffering from an unknown neurological disorder and is currently going through many unpleasant tests. His caringbridge site is http://www3.caringbridge.org/tx/cadenlane/ . Little Caden and his parents could sure use some support and prayers as they venture down this road. We are praying that the many Doctors and Hospitals that Caden is visiting will quickly find out exactly what is causing this little guy’s problems and cure them completely.
Please bear with me on Cheyenne’s long prayer list tonight, as there are so many of our friends in need of prayer today.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and for all the other children. Please remember Connor, Ray-Anne, Melody, Jennifer, A.J. Wallace, Caden, Bailee, Drew and Justin in your prayers. Bailee is a sweet young lady from Florida that is undergoing a bone marrow transplant in NY and is Cheyenne’s new penpal; Drew is a brave young man that we see regularly at the oncologist office in San Antonio that is currently fighting rhabdo, like our friend Connor. Hopefully, I will post their webpages soon. A.J is a young teenager from Christoval who was recently diagnosed with a horrible muscular/neurological illness, and is currently hospitalized at one of our local hospitals. Also our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq. Also please join me in offering prayers up to the Lord for Mr. Johnny Thompson’s mom and dad.

After writing this book of a journal, I was able to visit a few more of our caringbridge friends, and there are a few more with special needs tonight: Jessie having to have a biopsy on the 19th since her numbers are all wrong; Jackson feeling a little depressed and lonely; David still having a hard time with chemo and having headaches and pains; Ashley having Dr appointments to see if the paralysis on her face can be reversed; Haley (from Haley's Home) feeling pretty bad and sick; and our Kody Bear, having headaches and feeling sickly lately.

Thank you so very, very much and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
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NEW OCTOBER FEATURED FRIENDS

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of October, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Wednesday, October 13, 2004 7:57 PM CDT

Tuesday, October 12, 2004 8:48 PM CDT

Monday, October 11, 2004 10:02 PM CDT

Sunday, October 10, 2004 8:06 PM CDT

For the next several days I will leave this special request at the beginning of Cheyenne’s journal.

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Cheyenne’s caringbridge friend, Connor Hunley, has a birthday coming up at the end of the month. A friend thought it would be nice if Connor could be cheered up with a few “early” birthday cards. Connor has been through so much lately, and now recent scans indicate that the cancer is very quickly spreading all over his body, even after his recent surgery. The Drs ordered a rescan Thursday and we are praying that the first scans were wrong. If you could spare a stamp and a little time, this little boy would sure get a few smiles knowing that there are many people that care for him. Connor’s mailing address is P.O. Box 522 Goodlettsville, TN 37072 Thank you.

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Today Cheyenne had another “Good Feeling” day. She has missed several of the last Sunday School classes, but this morning told mom she felt well enough to go.

After Sunday School and church Cheyenne met some friends at the Scrapbook University for a class on card making. She says that it was rather hard for her to do, but she had fun anyway.

This morning the article on Cheyenne came out in the San Angelo Standard Times Newspaper. Thanks to a good friend that emailed the article to me, it will be at the bottom of the page. It mentions the birthday billboard arranged by the Bouligny’s, Cheyenne becoming an Honorary ASU Rambelle, her sense of humor and spirit and her battle with this beast of a tumor.

Tomorrow is already Dr appointment day in San Antonio. Hopefully it will be another quick trip there and back. Other than blood counts and another week’s worth of chemo being given, the only other issue will be Cheyenne’s hearing loss.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and for all the other children. Please remember Connor, Ray-Anne, Melody, Jennifer, and Justin in your prayers. Also our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
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NEW OCTOBER FEATURED FRIENDS

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of October, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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STANDARD TIMES ARTICLE

Illness doesn’t quell happiness

Rick Smith
rsmith@sastandard times.com or 659-8248

Cheyenne Fiveash, age 13,was diagnosed with a rare inoperable brainstem tumor in July 2003.
Since then, her parents, Roy and Donna Fiveash, say they view every day — no matter how difficult — as a blessing.
Some days must seem more blessed than others.
Thursday was a good day. Angelo State University’s Rambelles held a short ceremony in their practice gym and made Cheyenne an honorary team member. They gave her a jersey, signed by all the players and coaches.
Oct. 1 was another good day. Heading into San Angelo from their home in Grape Creek, Cheyenne’s parents took her on the “back way” to town, through Knickerbocker to U.S. Highway 67.
A few miles outside of San Angelo, Roy pulled the car to the side of the road and waited for his daughter to see the surprise.
“Miss Cheyenne was just looking around, and then all of a sudden, her mouth fell open….” Roy wrote in the internet journal he updates daily (www.caringbridge.org/ tx/cheyenne5).
“Oh my gosh!” Cheyenne said, spotting the surprise.
Family, friends and classmates from Christoval Junior High raised money to rent a billboard to celebrate Cheyenne’s 13th birthday. Instead, Lamar Advertising donated the billboard, which includes a picture of Cheyenne and a birthday greeting.
The gift “made my little girl’s day,” Roy wrote. “You should have seen her face and smile.” (The billboard is located on the southside of U.S. Highway 67, about five miles west of the Wal-Mart Super-Center.)
Not all of Cheyenne’s days are so good. For the last year, she has endured endless rounds of doctors, hospitals, nurses and needles. Conventional chemotherapy and radiation treatments and an alternative medicine called Protocel,have slowed — but not stopped — the cancer.
Originally, doctors predicted Cheyenne would live only a few months.
Cheyenne proved them wrong.
“She went to school all last year,” Roy said.
The battle with what Roy calls “this terrible beast of a tumor” has taken its toll.
The latest blow came in late June when tests suggested the tumor was growing.
More chemo followed, along with an operation to relieve pressure in her brain. Cheyenne lost her hair and much of her balance.
She didn’t lose her sense of humor.
Because of her balance problems, Cheyenne’s traveled by wheelchair lately, and in mid-September, she gave her parents a scare. When they returned home from a trip, Donna reached down to help Cheyenne climb from the wheelchair into a recliner.
Roy wrote: “Cheyenne looked up without any hint of a smile and said, ‘I can’t stand up!’”
Worried about new tumorrelated problems, Roy and Donna began bombarding her with questions. What was wrong? Was she in pain? Were her legs paralyzed?
“Nope,” Cheyenne said, looking up. “I have the (wheelchair’s) seat belt on!”
Wednesday, when I visited the family at their Dove Creek home, Cheyenne didn’t feel much like joking. She sat quietly in the recliner, holding her dog, Cinnamon, and visiting with her grandparents.
Good days, bad days, all are precious to the family.
“Doctors all over the country have told us there’s nothing else we can do,” Roy said, softly.
“We’re not giving up. If this round of chemotherapy fails — and if Cheyenne is healthy enough — we’ve already lined up another one.”
Doctors, it sometimes seems, are pessimistic by nature.
But not parents.
“We’re optimistic,” Roy said. “You have to be. The truth of the matter is the only way she can be cured is through God. Whether it’s through a medication or a true miracle, it all comes from the same place. So we just have to be strong in our faith. We have to live one day at a time.”
Roy said the family’s Web site journal has been a way to ask for the prayers of strangers as well as to exchange medical information with the parents of other cancer-stricken children.
Good days, bad days. Blessings, all.
“Cheyenne’s much better than she was two or three weeks ago,” Donna said.
“Your hair is growing back,” she said, smiling at her daughter. “It’s growing so fast. You’ll have a full head of hair by Christmas.”

Saturday, October 9, 2004 9:32 PM CDT

Friday, October 8, 2004 9:05 PM CDT

Thursday, October 7, 2004 6:34 PM CDT

Wednesday, October 6, 2004 8:20 PM CDT

Tonight I have a special request, which I will post for the next few days. Cheyenne’s caringbridge friend, Connor Hunley, has a birthday coming up at the end of the month. A friend thought it would be nice if Connor could be cheered up with a few “early” birthday cards. Connor has been through so much lately, and now recent scans indicate that the cancer is very quickly spreading all over his body, even after his recent surgery. The Drs are going to rescan tomorrow at 2:30pm and we are praying that the first scans were wrong. If you could spare a stamp and a little time, this little boy would sure get a few smiles knowing that there are many people that care for him. Connor’s mailing address is P.O. Box 522 Goodlettsville, TN 37072 Thank you.

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Today was a “hang around the house” day for Cheyenne and the rest of the family. But, in true Cheyenne fashion, it was a fun day.

This morning was spent mostly watching videos and TV (She can’t miss Little House on the Prairie, Touched by an Angel, or Matlock).

This afternoon Mr. Rick Smith of the San Angelo Standard Times Newspaper came over for an interview and to see how Miss Cheyenne was doing. He has written 2 articles in the past on Cheyenne and is preparing one centered around the wonderful Billboard that her friends at school had put up for her. We had a good visit. Mr. Smith says that the article will run either this Friday or Sunday in the paper.

Also just before Mr. Smith arrived, Grandma and Grandpa Fiveash stopped by, BEARING GIFTS!!!! Ha, they know how to make a girl smile!!!!!. They had found some really cute clothes in Cheyenne’s size and Cheyenne can’t wait to go somewhere to wear them. Cheyenne was all smiles and freely handing out those hugs that she is famous for.

After our visitors all left, Cheyenne made a beautiful “Paving stone”. She was given a kit for her birthday and we just couldn’t wait any longer to make it. The “Paving stone” is an octagon shaped cement stone with Cheyenne’s hand imprint in the middle and her name and the date of her birthday on the side. She decorated it with cute little ceramic hearts and colored beads (also part of the gift). It is something we will cherish forever. (Although I doubt we will put it outside, it is just too precious and beautiful).

Also we were able to get a few thank you cards written that are past due and box up a few things that Cheyenne picked out for some of her caringbridge friends. Cheyenne has really made some beautiful hand made cards. She puts her heart into them.

BUT, the most AWESOME news of the day!!!! This afternoon, Cheyenne felt soooo good, that she decided to abandon her wheelchair for the day and use only her walker in the house. Now this is an improvement!!!!!

And, not to ruin a GREAT surprise, but something REALLY REALLY SPECIAL is planned for Cheyenne tomorrow afternoon.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and for all the other children and adults in need. Please remember Kaidrie, Connor, Ray-Anne, Melody, David, Rachel Joy, Jennifer, and Justin in your prayers, and Kyle’s, Monika’s, and Trevor’s families as they experience their days without their children here on earth. Many of these children need a miracle. Also our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq. I also heard today that Charlotte Kolls, one of Cheyenne’s very faithful prayer warriors from Glen Meadows Baptist Church had surgery this morning and could use a few prayers for quick healing. God Bless you Charlotte!!

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
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NEW OCTOBER FEATURED FRIENDS

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of October, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Tuesday, October 5, 2004 7:43 PM CDT

I really hate making posts such as this. Our little friends, Trevor and Monika, both went to be with the Lord in heaven yesterday. Little Trevor, joined his little brother Ross, and now they are both pain and cancer free, probably laughing and doing what little brothers do best. Monika fought this beast of a tumor for almost 2 years, and now can rest. Please remember their families during this horrible and lonely time here on earth, awaiting being reunited with their little ones.

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Since we began this journey, we have learned that the world is full of so many wonderful people. Each and every day we are honored to meet new friends and correspond with old friends. We are humbled daily by the kindness and generosity of so many. We read the wonderful guestbook entries, read the many cards, letters, and emails that come daily, watch our pumpkin smile as she opens a package addressed to her, and know that many, many people in the world care for us, our little girl and offer prayers up to the Lord for our family and those that we have come to know and care about. Today something small happened that just reinforces our feelings for the wonderful people of San Angelo, the United States, and the world.

This afternoon, Cheyenne seemed bored sitting around the house, so I suggested that we venture into town for lunch and maybe a short stroll through a store. Our first stop was a local restaurant. We frequent this restaurant and like many, it has a claw machine near the front door. In days past, when Cheyenne was feeling better, the claw machine was always one of her stops. Cheyenne was very skilled at claw machines, and almost never walked away empty handed. Of course Cheyenne’s room is filled with stuffed animals from gifts, but the majority she wins, she gives to other children, caringbridge children, her nieces and nephews, or just strangers on the street, and quite often a child sitting in the restaurant was the recipient That’s how our little pumpkin is, a very generous heart.

Since Cheyenne’s fight against this tumor took a turn last September 2, 2004, her hand eye coordination is not the same, she can’t stand or walk unassisted, so she no longer enjoys playing the claw machines. She will however, go up and examine the stuffed toys, just to see if there is something there that she might have been able to win in her better days. Today was no different. Before being seated, she had me push her wheelchair up to the machine, just to look. You can tell by the look in her face that she was thinking of times past and wishing she could. Someone must have seen that longing in her eyes.

After eating, we made it out to the truck, and there sitting on the back of the truck near the back glass, was a stuffed toy from the claw machine. There wasn’t a note attached. An act of kindness by a complete stranger, who chose to remain anonymous. It brought a smile to my little girl’s face, and a tear to mine. Thank you.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please continue to remember Christy, Ray-Anne, Tyler, Jennifer, Justin, and Kyle’s family in your prayers as well. Also David having problems with the chemo, Kaidrie having an MRI today, Rachel Joy having been very sick lately, and Melody, who was released from the hospital yesterday, had another rough day today. Also Connor’s MRIs were not what we wanted to hear, and he and his family could use special prayers. Many of these children need a miracle. Also our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
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NEW OCTOBER FEATURED FRIENDS

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Monday, October 4, 2004 9:36 PM CDT

Today was Cheyenne’s appointment with her Oncologist in San Antonio. So most of the day was spent in the car driving back and forth, with us arriving home just a little while ago.

The Dr was not in today, so Cheyenne’s blood counts were taken and next weeks chemo was issued. Cheyenne’s counts were actually better today than before starting the chemo, so no problems there.

Cheyenne did not feel real good today, being really tired and weak most of the day. I did notice, however, that this evening she seemed to perk up and get a little stronger.

Before leaving San Antonio Cheyenne asked to eat lunch (it was after 3pm and we had not yet had lunch). It was several miles to the Clear Springs Café, but it was worth it. Cheyenne quit counting her shrimp at 30, so I have no idea how many she ate. This café is amazing. Their popcorn shrimp is as large as the regular shrimp at Red Lobster, and they really give you a plate full. Boy that girl can eat shrimp!!!!!!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please continue to remember Monika, Christy, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Tyler, Connor, Jennifer, Justin, and Kyle’s family in your prayers as well. Also David is having problems with the side effects of chemo, Rachel Joy has been very sick, and Melody was finally released from the hospital today. Many of these children need a miracle. Also our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
NEW OCTOBER FEATURED FRIENDS

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Sunday, October 3, 2004 7:02 PM CDT

We were very saddened to learn that our friend, Kyle McGlothlin passed away today following his courageous battle with a brain tumor. Although Kyle and Cheyenne had never met, Cheyenne was looking so forward to meeting him on one of our next trips to San Antonio, as Kyle and his family are from Austin. Please remember Kyle’s family in your prayers. Kyle’s website is www3.caringbridge.org/tx/kylemcg if you care to leave a message.

Today was a lazy, rainy day around our house. After attending church and getting a bite to eat with Diana, we spent the rest of the day at the house.

Most of the day Cheyenne spent watching videos and she is preparing to scrapbook. Last night she scrapbooked with Coach Slate and Coach Brooks until 8pm and had loads and loads of fun. Her scrapbook is coming along very nicely. She did have me looking for old photos today from when she was born until the first grade. We have sooo many photos, I believe I found the box that they are in. Thank goodness for digital cameras and photos. Since going digital, every single photo we have is in one easy to find place (backed up also, of course).

Tomorrow is an appointment day in San Antonio. I believe the Dr is on vacation, so it will most likely be a quick trip there, blood counts taken, new chemo issued, and a quick trip back, That is if you can consider 3 ½ hours each way a quick trip!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please continue to remember Monika, Christy, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Tyler, Connor, Jennifer, Justin, and Nurse Betty in your prayers as well. Also David is having problems with the side effects of chemo, Rachel Joy has been very sick, and Melody is in the hospital. Many of these children need a miracle. Also our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
NEW OCTOBER FEATURED FRIENDS

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff
Linda (41) likes word searches, jigsaw puzzles, and collects clowns

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Saturday, October 2, 2004 7:51 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a pretty good day today. She felt well enough to make the most of the day by getting out of the house and doing things.

Cheyenne’s sister, Diana, wanted Cheyenne to join her and Lucas at a movie shortly after noon today. Mom and I decided to tag along as well, so we made a family trip of it to see “Sharks Tale”. Cheyenne said that she really, really enjoyed it. Since she is in her wheelchair, we had to sit all the way up front which made it really difficult to see. I could tell that sitting so close was hard for her, especially since her weakness also involves her neck, but she is one tough little girl and didn’t complain even once.

When the movie let out we had a couple of hours to waste in town and Cheyenne decided to spend it shopping. After all, she reminded me (about 5 times today alone), she was now a teenager. HA!!

At 5pm this evening, Coach Slate has a Scrapbooking event scheduled for Cheyenne at the Scrapbook University. Ami, one of the owners is so very nice. She stays after closing so the girls can scrapbook to their hearts content.

I chose to not scrapbook tonight, so here I sit, lonely and missing my little stink. BUT, they should be home within the hour. I don’t believe I have been away from Cheyenne this long in a very long time. Poor Cinnamon won’t even come out of her cage since Cheyenne isn’t here.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please continue to remember Monika, Christy, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Tyler, Connor, Jennifer, Justin, and Nurse Betty in your prayers as well. Also David is having problems with the side effects of chemo, Rachel Joy has been very sick, and Melody is in the hospital. Many of these children need a miracle. Also our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
NEW OCTOBER FEATURED FRIENDS

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Friday, October 1, 2004 10:23 PM CDT

No wonder Cheyenne says that this was the BEST birthday she has EVER had. The surprises just keep on coming for that little girl.

All her friends at Christoval Jr. High have been planning a little surprise for Cheyenne’s birthday for quite awhile, and today it became a reality.

This morning we told Miss Cheyenne that we were going into town to meet Grandpa and Grandma (A bold faced lie, of course!). After getting her into the car, we commented that we should take the back route to town, as we hadn’t been that way for awhile. So off we went on our merry way. A few miles from town, I commented that I needed to pull over and do something, and pulled the car off to the side of the road. While we were sitting there, Miss Cheyenne was just looking around, and then all of a sudden her mouth fell open and she was staring out the window. She said, “Oh my Gosh”! There it was, big as a building, a HUGE Billboard with Cheyenne’s photo, and the words, “Happy 13th Birthday Cheyenne. Love, From your friends at Christoval Jr High”!!!!!

NOW IS THAT NOT THE COOLEST THING YOU HAVE EVER HEARD OF??????

It seems that back before Cheyenne’s birthday, her friends at school, aided by James and his mom, Mrs. Bouligny, decided that they wanted to get Cheyenne something really special for her 13th birthday. The kids all started pitching in their spare change, lunch money, etc to come up with money for a gift for our little pumpkin.

When they decided on the Billboard, Mrs. Bouligny contacted Lamar Advertising here in San Angelo to inquire as to the cost. When Mr. Erwin found out that it was for Cheyenne, he DONATED the billboard.

I absolutely, positively have never heard of a more precious, loving gift in my life. Thank you Christoval Jr. High, Mrs. Bouligny, and Mr. Erwin!!!! You completely made my little girls day. You should have seen her face and smile!!!

Then, (the rest of the story), the kids at school decided that the sign wasn’t enough, and with the money they saved, they came up with some of the coolest gifts a girl could ever have. Up until today, one of those gifts was by far, the most treasured gift she has received. (I think the billboard beat it out.) Last weekend at Cheyenne’s party, the kids gave Cheyenne a beautiful statue of an angel riding a unicorn. The angel has fiber optic and feather wings, and the entire statue has a built in light that changes colors. It is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Cheyenne has me turn it on and turn the room lights off, just to sit in her room and watch it. It radiates every color imaginable. It is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

If you live around San Angelo and want to see the Billboard, it is located on US 67 West of San Angelo in the lot of Pioneer Petroleum. It is on the East bound lane and approximately 5 miles west of the Walmart. If I may say so myself, it is a really BEAUTIFUL billboard, but then with the GIANT photo of my little sunshine, how could it not be??

Medically, Cheyenne saw a little more improvement in her strength today. We are pretty confident that her problems were from continued swelling. We tried to tell the Dr’s that there were too many symptoms exactly like just prior to her being rushed to the ER with hydrocephalus. There were the head pains (just not as severe), the sound of liquid rushing in her ears, a bulging vein in her head, etc.. Now that she is on the low dose of steroids, the pains have subsided considerably, along with the noise in her ears, AND she is getting stronger. The reason for the swelling is what is scary. It could be from tumor growth, late radiation necrosis, chemo necrosis, and then the surgery. But, no matter the cause, the steroids are currently working and hopefully, with God’s merciful help, the new Zarnestra chemo trial will start kicking some tumor butt shortly.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please continue to remember Monika, Christy, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Tyler, Connor, Jennifer, Justin, Nurse Betty and Paulina’s family in your prayers. Many of these children need a miracle. Also Rachel Joy is still suffering from pneumonia, David is having pretty bad side effects from the chemo and has an MRI scheduled, Jackson has an MRI this Friday, Emerald had an MRI today, and little Melody was taken to the hospital the night before last. Also our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq and all those suffering from all the storms across the country.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
NEW OCTOBER FEATURED FRIENDS

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Melody (7) likes Disney Princesses, crafts, & Hello Kitty
Zach (15) likes bowling, drawing, & Power Rangers
Jennifer (29) likes the color purple & collects cow stuff

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Friday, October 1, 2004 5:18 PM CDT

No wonder Cheyenne says that this was the BEST birthday she has EVER had. The surprises just keep on coming for that little girl.

All her friends at Christoval Jr. High have been planning a little surprise for Cheyenne’s birthday for quite awhile, and today it became a reality.

This morning we told Miss Cheyenne that we were going into town to meet Grandpa and Grandma (A bold faced lie, of course!). After getting her into the car, we commented that we should take the back route to town, as we hadn’t been that way for awhile. So off we went on our merry way. A few miles from town, I commented that I needed to pull over and do something, and pulled the car off to the side of the road. While we were sitting there, Miss Cheyenne was just looking around, and then all of a sudden her mouth fell open and she was staring out the window. She said, “Oh my Gosh”! There it was, big as a building, a HUGE Billboard with Cheyenne’s photo, and the words, “Happy 13th Birthday Cheyenne. Love, From your friends at Christoval Jr High”!!!!!

NOW IS THAT NOT THE COOLEST THING YOU HAVE EVER HEARD OF??????

It seems that back before Cheyenne’s birthday, her friends at school, aided by James and her mom, Mrs. Bouligny, decided that they wanted to get Cheyenne something really special for her 13th birthday. The kids all started pitching in their spare change, lunch money, etc to come up with money for a gift for our little pumpkin.

When they decided on the Billboard, Mrs. Bouligny contacted Lamar Advertising here in San Angelo to inquire as to the cost. When Mr. Erwin found out that it was for Cheyenne, he DONATED the billboard.

I absolutely, positively have never heard of a more precious, loving gift in my life. Thank you Christoval Jr. High, Mrs. Bouligny, and Mr. Erwin!!!! You completely made my little girls day. You should have seen her face and smile!!!

Then, (the rest of the story), the kids at school decided that the sign wasn’t enough, and with the money they saved, they came up with some of the coolest gifts a girl could ever have. Up until today, one of those gifts was by far, the most treasured gift she has received. (I think the billboard beat it out.) Last weekend at Cheyenne’s party, the kids gave Cheyenne a beautiful statue of an angel riding a unicorn. The angel has fiber optic and feather wings, and the entire statue has a built in light that changes colors. It is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Cheyenne has me turn it on and turn the room lights off, just to sit in her room and watch it. It radiates every color imaginable. It is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

If you live around San Angelo and want to see the Billboard, it is located on US 67 West of San Angelo in the lot of Pioneer Petroleum. It is on the East bound lane and approximately 5 miles west of the Walmart. If I may say so myself, it is a really BEAUTIFUL billboard, but then with the GIANT photo of my little sunshine, how could it not be??

Medically, Cheyenne saw a little more improvement in her strength today. We are pretty confident that her problems were from continued swelling. We tried to tell the Dr’s that there were too many symptoms exactly like just prior to her being rushed to the ER with hydrocephalus. There were the head pains (just not as severe), the sound of liquid rushing in her ears, a bulging vein in her head, etc.. Now that she is on the low dose of steroids, the pains have subsided considerably, along with the noise in her ears, AND she is getting stronger. The reason for the swelling is what is scary. It could be from tumor growth, late radiation necrosis, chemo necrosis, and then the surgery. But, no matter the cause, the steroids are currently working and hopefully, with God’s merciful help, the new Zarnestra chemo trial will start kicking some tumor butt shortly.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please continue to remember Monika, Christy, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Tyler, Connor, Jennifer, Justin, Nurse Betty and Paulina’s family in your prayers. Many of these children need a miracle. Also Rachel Joy is still suffering from pneumonia, David is having pretty bad side effects from the chemo and has an MRI scheduled, Jackson has an MRI this Friday, Emerald had an MRI today, and little Melody was taken to the hospital the night before last. Also our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq and all those suffering from all the storms across the country.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Thursday, September 30, 2004 7:46 PM CDT

Today was a little better day for Cheyenne. Although she is still very weak, there was a definite improvement over yesterday. Since we have just started to taper the neurontin, it is most likely the steroid that is causing the improvement. Fortunately, we started with an extremely small dose and hopefully won’t have all the severe problems associated with it.

She felt well enough to turn today into a pretty active day. We spent most of the afternoon in town with my parents and even spent a couple of hours at the mall shopping. Apparently the teenager in Cheyenne is coming out!! HA!

This evening Diana is over visiting and we are preparing to watch the debate on TV. To be perfectly honest, I don’t care to watch it, but Diana has to watch it as a class assignment. Most likely, Cheyenne will get me involved in a board game shortly. Last night, as sick as she was, she wanted to play the word game “Boggle”. I thought I was fairly intelligent. Well, this new teenager beat the pants off me. My only saving grace is that everyone thinks that I was letting her beat me, WRONG!!!!!!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please continue to remember Monika, Christy, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Tyler, Connor, Jennifer, Justin, Nurse Betty and Paulina’s family in your prayers. Many of these children need a miracle. Also Rachel Joy is still suffering from pneumonia, David is having pretty bad side effects from the chemo and has an MRI scheduled, Jackson has an MRI this Friday, and little Melody was taken to the hospital last night. Also our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq and all those suffering from all the storms across the country
Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Wednesday, September 29, 2004 8:25 PM CDT

Today was another lazy kind of day for Cheyenne and the rest of the family. Unfortunately, these days are being necessitated by the weakness that Cheyenne is experiencing. Each day she seems just a little weaker rather than stronger.

I spoke to Cheyenne’s Oncologist today, and we have come up with a plan of action. Of course we really don’t know for sure what is causing Cheyenne’s weakness, but the Drs are pessimistic.

In any event, we are beginning to taper Cheyenne off the Neurontin starting today and added a small dose of steroids again this evening. The Dr thinks that if her current problems are from edema from the earlier hydrocephalus, or from the necrosis, or from the surgery we should see improvement within the next 3 days from the steroid. If the problems are from tumor, he doesn’t anticipate improvement.

The tapering of the Neurontin is our idea. Under the listed side effects, less than one percent of people that take it experience side effects similar to what Cheyenne is experiencing. Less than one percent isn’t much, but among those many rare side effects listed , there are four or five that we know for sure that Cheyenne is experiencing since beginning the Neurontin. The Neurontin was prescribed due to Cheyenne having numbness and tingling in her arms, hands, and feet after surgery. The Neurontin supposedly deadens those nerve endings where that feeling is not there.

As far as the steroids go, both Cheyenne’s Oncologist and Neurosurgeon tapered her off the steroids after less than 2 weeks after hydrocephalus, and only 2 days after surgery. But a third Dr, an Oncologist from Cooks Children’s Hospital, who gave us a 2nd opinion, recommended resumption of steroids for a little longer to ease the swelling. So I guess no one really knows. We really hate the side effects of the steroid Decadron, but if needed, it is a necessary evil. Also, if it does help, we will begin the taper as quickly as possible to get her off them.

Then we are also now in the Zarnestra chemo trial. So far, Cheyenne is taking it extremely well. We are praying that it is working.

And through all of this, Miss Cheyenne is still a remarkable young lady and our sunshine. Her sense of humor remains. Today she really zinged me a couple of times. We still have lots of laughs and fun throughout the day.

I did have a period of worry this evening that I was leaving myself open to another one of those Cheyenne zingers. Of course, I had told Cheyenne that we were celebrating her birthday every day this week, and with that, came a new gift from mom and dad each day. Wellll, UPS did not come yesterday, this morning, or afternoon, and we were fresh out of gifts. Boy did I sigh a relief when Mr UPS came driving up at 7pm today. Now we are set for the entire week!!

Also, Cheyenne was experiencing a huge SHRIMP craving today. We discovered that Popeye’s Fried Chicken has a GREAT deal on shrimp. For $3.99 you get a basket full of popcorn shrimp, loads of fries, and a bisquit. AND all the cocktail sauce you can eat!!!!! I think Cheyenne found a new place to eat!!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please continue to remember Monika, Christy, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Tyler, Connor, Melody, Jennifer, Justin, Nurse Betty and Paulina’s family in your prayers. Many of these children need a miracle. Also our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq and all those suffering from all the storms across the country. Also, in an earlier guestbook entry I learned that Kerry was now out of the hospital and home with her family. Thank you God and please continue to be with this young lady and her family.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Tuesday, September 28, 2004 8:55 PM CDT

Today was not a real active day for Cheyenne. She was again pretty tired and weak all day long. She did ask to do something such as go into town just to have something to do, but I insisted that she stay home and rest. Since Cheyenne has had so much going on lately and after the trip to San Antonio yesterday it was hard to tell if she is weaker or just really tired. Days such as today make for a really hard day for mom and dad. If only we could see in that little head of her’s and know what is going on.

Cheyenne did start the Zarnestra chemo trial this morning and so far so good. She handled it like the champ that she is.

We continue to celebrate Cheyenne’s birthday a little every day. Mom and Dad decided to buy a few little things and are giving them to Cheyenne, one at a time each day this week. At this rate, Cheyenne gets a little birthday joy everyday for the next week. This might sound silly, but it does mom and dad good to see our little sunshine happy and smile.

M&M (Maddie and McKayla’s nicknames by Cheyenne) came over for a visit this afternoon, and that sure made Cheyenne smile. She looked better while they were here than she did all day.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please continue to remember Monika, Christy, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Tyler, Connor, Melody, Jennifer, Justin, Nurse Betty and Paulina’s family in your prayers. Many of these children need a miracle. Also our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq and all those suffering from all the storms across the country. Also, in an earlier guestbook entry I learned that Kerry was now out of the hospital and home with her family. Thank you God and please continue to be with this young lady and her family.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Monday, September 27, 2004 9:48 PM CDT

We are finally back at home after being on the road all day. It was raining this morning which caused us to get off late and arrive at the Dr’s office a little later than usual.

Cheyenne had a short exam, blood counts, etc and we spoke about the schedule of chemo. Since it is a trial, there is a log to keep. By the way, regarding her blood counts, her port worked fine today. When she was in for surgery earlier this month, the Nurse at North Central Baptist Hospital told us that her port was not working. As a result, Cheyenne had to be poked several times in the arm. Cheyenne has become spoiled with the port, and she DOES NOT LIKE pokes!

Since the Zarnestra is to be given twice a day, we did not start Cheyenne on it today, we will start in the morning. Initially, her dosage will be 300 mg in the am and 250 mg in the pm. The cycle lasts 21 days and then there will be a 7 day break. We will have to return to San Antonio every Monday for an exam and blood counts. But, once a week is not that bad. Cheyenne still will get to sleep in her own house and be with her entire family, her friends and CINNAMON!

After leaving the Dr’s office this evening, Cheyenne was really hungry, and you could probably NEVER guess what type food she wanted. That’s right, she JUST HAD TO HAVE SHRIMP!!!! We told her that she was going to turn into a shrimp if she keeps this up!!!!

Thank you for all the prayers, support, guestbook entries, and caring for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers mean so much to us and do work miracles.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad

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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Sunday, September 26, 2004 9:29 PM CDT

This morning Cheyenne said that she was ready to go back to church, so today was the first church day in a few weeks. Following church we took Diana and Lucas to lunch followed by a little shopping spree with Cheyenne. There were a few things that she “just had to have” at Target. One of the things, was a new wallet to go with her new purse and all the money she received for her birthday. A girl’s gotta have a wallet for her money!!!! HA!

She pulled a fast one on mom after shopping. She insisted on using her birthday money to buy several of the things that she picked up. The bill came to just a little over $38. Later in the car, she was looking at all her new things, and somehow talked her mom into saying that some of them were birthday gifts from us to her. Before you knew it, Cheyenne had recalculated how much she had spent, and was asking for a refund from mom. Now that wasn’t bad enough, but mom didn’t have the correct change, and was $2.01 short. It took quite a while before Miss Cheyenne would even forgive that 1 cent, the little stink.

Today really wasn’t that great of a day for Cheyenne. She was really, really tired all day and it seems that she was weaker today than the last few days. Also, when she gets so weak several symptoms reappear.

Please pray for our little girl to start feeling better and for the new chemo to work and work well. Unfortunately, at this point, there are several things that could be causing her problems. Tumor growth, or necrosis, or edema, or just lasting effects from the earlier edema and/or surgery. Even the necrosis could be from various things, it could be from the chemo, it could be from tumor growth, or it could be radiation necrosis. Not all scenarios are good.

We tried to get Cheyenne to rest this afternoon and evening, but she would not have any part of that. First she discovered that one of her birthday gifts, a remote controlled rat, would torment Cinnamon and Murphy (Mom’s dog). Then she decided that she wanted to play board games, so we played a round of Life. She really beat us baaaad!! There were just toooo many new birthday gifts that needed admiring, so she wouldn’t even think about sleep until a few minutes ago.

We will be driving to San Antonio again tomorrow for the beginning of the new chemo trial. Hopefully we will be back tomorrow night.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I can not imagine how this journey would be without you and without them.

Please continue to remember the following in your prayers, Kerry, Monika, Christy, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Tyler, Connor, Melody, Jennifer, Justin, Nurse Betty and Paulina’s family. Many of these children need a miracle. Also remember our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq and all those suffering from all the storms across the country.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Saturday, September 25, 2004 8:39 PM CDT

Today was another one of those “full” days for Cheyenne. But this full day was not filled with pokes, sticks, or doctor appointments, it was filled with excitement, fun, laughter, and lots and lots of love.

Cheyenne was up again early this morning to help prepare for her party today. We made dips, little sandwiches, and all kinds of snacks together and set it out all just right.

At a little before 2pm Cheyenne starting getting guests and before you knew it, the house was completely full of friends and family, all there for our big 13 year old Cheyenne. The guests kept coming and going, with the house remaining full all day long.

This evening after everyone was gone, Cheyenne said that she had the best birthday party she has ever had. Then she said, “I AM TIRED”!

Normally during the day Cheyenne spends quite a bit of time in the recliner, maybe napping, but at least resting. Today she was in the wheel chair every second of the day, moving around, visiting and having fun.

Thank you to everyone that came or helped make this the best birthday in my little girl’s life.

Also thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I can not imagine how this journey would be without you and without them.

Please continue to remember the following in your prayers, Kerry, Monika, Christy, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Fisher, Rachel Joy, Tyler, Connor, Melody, Jennifer, Justin Tackett, and Paulina’s family. Many of these children need a miracle. Also remember our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq. Also Nurse Betty, one of Cheyenne's Pedi Nurses from Shannon Hospital, involved in a very serious accident a couple of days ago.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Friday, September 24, 2004 8:55 PM CDT

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DON’T FORGET!!! IT’S PARTY TIME TOMORROW!!!!!!!!

As many of you know, Miss Cheyenne Marie turned the BIG 13 yesterday. To celebrate, we are having a come and go kind of open house for anyone that wants to stop in and say hello. Mom is making a great big cake, and there will be ice cream, punch, snacks, and all the goodies. So, if you are not doing anything tomorrow (the 25th) between 2pm and 6pm, please stop by the house. No gifts are necessary, as Mom and Dad will take care of that. Cheyenne just wants to see all her friends, say hello, and hug their necks a little.

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Today was a pretty much of a slow day for Cheyenne compared to yesterday. This morning Cheyenne finished opening her birthday presents, so it was a FUN morning. Besides the gifts she received from family, there were 10 boxes that came in the mail for our little pumpkin. Thank you all so much, hopefully appropriate thank you notes will go out soon. Also, I did not count the cards, but I bet Cheyenne received 150 or more birthday cards. She read each and every one.

I won’t list each gift separately, but I do have to mention a couple.
First, I have never heard of this gift, and Cheyenne absolutely, completely loved it, but does have a question for the “girls” of the “Hen House”. The gift was through the Heifer International Mission and was a donation in Cheyenne’s honor of “2 flocks of chickens” to a family in an underdeveloped country. Cheyenne wants to know, just how many chickens in a “flock:? ?

As Cheyenne was opening her gifts, Cinnamon was, of course, on her lap. There were some really, really cute stuffed animals, a Build A Bear (absolutely adorable) and Cinnamon just ignored them all. Then Cheyenne opened a package and pulled out a little cinnamon colored, squishy soft, puppy dog named “Puppers”. Cinnamon went nuts. Talk about jealous, she tried to take it away from Cheyenne. I guess there was not going to be another little cinnamon colored dog around here except her!!!!

Around noon, we had to go into town to get a few things for the party tomorrow, and I don’t really know what happened, but we were gone ALL afternoon.

This evening it was mostly just planning, cleaning and preparing for tomorrow. I don’t know about Cheyenne, but mom and dad are pooped.
We did call the Neurosurgeon’s office today to ask about the pains that Cheyenne has been having. Today, she only had 2, but one of them was pretty bad. Basically, the Drs could not answer the questions, and we were told to call back if it becomes worse. It may, or may not, be a normal consequence of everything she has been through.

Cheyenne did appear to be a little stronger today, but is still a pretty sick little girl.

Thank you for all the prayers, birthday wishes, guestbook entries, and gifts for Cheyenne. She was the happiest little girl in the world the last couple of days. Also thank you for all the prayers for all the other children. Cheyenne cares about all the other children so very much.

Please join us in prayers for Kerry, who had heart surgery Monday and was moved to the regular floor from ICU today, Monika, Christy, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Fisher, Rachel Joy, Tyler, Connor, Melody, Jennifer, Justin Tackett, and Paulina’s family. Many of this children need a miracle from our Holy Father. Also remember our men and women fighting in the Middle East and other locations, specifically Cole and Doug in Iraq. Also Nurse Betty, one of Cheyenne's Pedi Nurses from Shannon Hospital, involved in a very serious accident a couple of days ago. Cheyenne is already talking about getting in the car and driving to go see her at Parkland.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Thursday, September 23, 2004 4:43 PM CDT

CHEYENNE’S B IG DAY, PART II

Earlier in the month, when we asked Cheyenne what she wanted for her birthday, she said that all she wanted was to take the ENTIRE family out to the restaurant of her choice, and it be her treat. So, in true Cheyenne fashion, the 18 of us had a wonderful Mexican dinner at Gil’s in San Angelo tonight. Cheyenne, Mom and Dad, Michael, Jodi, Bryce and Alyssa, Diana and Lucas, Christopher, Leslie, McKayla, and Maddie, my mom and dad, my brother Bill and Patrice, and as Cheyenne’s special guest, James. The food was excellent, but the company was absolutely OUTSTANDING!!! We have quite a young lady in Cheyenne.

After we were through eating and we were making it to the car, we discovered that it was RAINING. And not just RAINING, but REALLY RAINING!!!! We waited for almost an hour waiting for it to let up to get Cheyenne loaded in the car. Finally, Dad took the big dive and went into the rain and carried Cheyenne into the car. We are now home, and it is STILL RAINING!!! I am completely, totally, 100 percent soaked. But Cheyenne barely got wet!!

Our telephones are out, and the internet is intermittent. But we are not going to complain about the rain in West Texas.

Apparently while we were gone, and prior to the telephones going out, Cheyenne received a few messages on the answering machine. First, Grand Master Thompson of Thompson Karate Academies in San Antonio called, and his ENTIRE Karate Class sang Cheyenne Happy Birthday. I believe at last count he had 75 students!!!!! Then there was Melanie Phillips (Cheyenne’s other mom from Savanna (ha, since your kids call her your girl, I thought it would be ok to call you her other mom)), Christene, and then all Cheyenne’s Milwaukee relatives. We are going to save the messages and record them on tape!!!!

Cheyenne is still going strong, and we are about to open a few of the gifts that came in the mail over the past few days. Cheyenne is such a young lady, she spends 5 minutes reading each card before even looking into the box.. I don’t have that much will power.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you everyone, for making this what Cheyenne just called, THE BEST BIRTHDAY SHE HAS EVER HAD! And to think, her party is not until SATURDAY!!!!!

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TODAY IS THE BIG DAY!!!! CHEYENNE TURNED 13 YEARS OLD!!!!!

This is our first break for the day, and I thought that this journal may be a little long tonight, so I am taking advantage and updating Miss Cheyenne’s BIG DAY thus far.

Cheyenne was up early this morning at 7am, awfully excited about her birthday. First on the agenda was Michael, Jodi, Bryce and Alyssa stopping over with presents and a hot blueberry breakfast cake for our little stink. Then Christopher joined us for breakfast.

Shortly thereafter the telephone rang, and it was the ENTIRE 7th Grade class at Christoval Jr High, Teachers and all, calling to wish Cheyenne a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! They all sang a beautiful rendition of Happy Birthday. It brought tears to my eyes.

A little while later, James’ mom and dad stopped by the house with more presents, from the class and from them as well. A few hugs traded places there.

A short while later, the telephone rang again, and it was the “girls” from my old office in San Antonio. Although this was not on speaker phone, so I really didn’t hear them as I did the 7th grade class, Cheyenne tells me that they sang a beautiful chorus of Happy Birthday to her.

Sprinkled amongst all the calls and visiting, two deliveries came for Miss Cheyenne. A beautiful cake from Coach and her family and a GREAT BIG Cookie Bouquet from Coach Sally Brooks and the ASU Rambelles team.

By now it was getting late in the morning and we had an appointment, so it was off to San Angelo Mathis Field Airport. Cheyenne’s fellow Miracle Kid from Shannon , Justin Tackett, was leaving today for his Make A Wish trip to San Diego to see Tony Hawk, and we couldn’t miss his send off. We were there early, and the flight was delayed, so we spent a few hours at the airport. Cheyenne was so excited to see Justin, as we had never gotten to meet him before. Cheyenne gave Justin one of her bracelets that she made and asked if he wanted to wear it. It made her so happy when he immediately asked it to be put on.

Of course, not only did we get to meet and send off Justin, we were able to see all Cheyenne’s Make A Wish Volunteers, all the people of the Miracle Kids Network at Shannon, everyone from KIXY 94.7 that did the recent Miracle Kids Network Radiothon, and all Cheyenne’s friends from American Airlines and the Airport. WOW, there were again, just a FEW hugs handed out!

I am sure I am missing a few things, but I am sure I will be reminded later, so I can add it later tonight.

We finally just got home and are now preparing to meet our entire immediate family at one of Cheyenne’s favorite restaurants tonight, where Cheyenne insisted on treating everyone for HER BIRTHDAY.

Also, over the past 3 days, several packages have arrived for our little girl from all you wonderful people. Tonight after cake and ice cream, Cheyenne is planning to have a BIG time opening all her presents and gifts. I’ll keep you posted on that!!

Thank you for all the beautiful messages and guestbook entries, all the wonderful prayers and well wishes for our pumpkin and all the other children.

I promise I will update sometime tonight.

God Bless

Cheyenne’s dad

Wednesday, September 22, 2004 8:04 PM CDT

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IT’S PARTY TIME

As many of you know, Miss Cheyenne Marie will be turning the BIG 13 this week on the 23rd. To celebrate, we are planning to have a come and go kind of open house for anyone that wants to stop in and say hello. Mom is making a great big cake, and there will be ice cream, punch, and all the goodies. So, if you are not doing anything this coming Saturday (the 25th) between 2pm and 6pm, please stop by the house. No gifts are necessary, as Mom and Dad will take care of that. Cheyenne just wants to see all her friends, say hello, and hug their necks a little.

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Today was an exciting day for Miss Cheyenne. ONLY ONE MORE DAY UNTIL SHE IS A TEENAGER!!!!!!!! A few minutes ago, I heard her mom ask her , “Who is more excited, me or you?” Cheyenne replied, “ I AM, I AM ALMOST 15 YEARS OLD!!!” Of course, Cheyenne is almost 13, but in her mind it is only a hop, skip and a jump until 15!!! The little stink!!

Again today, just a little improvement for Cheyenne. A little stronger. One thing that does worry us, lately when she laughs, she has a pain in her head. She says that it is the same kind of “squishy” pain that she had in the days leading up to being rushed to the ER, except that it is not very bad and goes away in a couple of seconds. Also she describes it as a “dull” pain, where the other pain was extremely severe. Her problem right now, is that she is really giggly lately, so she laughs a lot. Fortunately it only happened twice today and maybe twice yesterday. She has not been on steroids since last week, Monday. I am not sure how long they stay in her system and I am not sure how long the brain stays swollen with the dosage of steroids that she had. Apparently, you get different answers from different doctors. At this point, I have to believe that they don’t really know.

Today Cheyenne went with mom and dad shopping for her Birthday Bash on Saturday. You could tell that it was lots and lots of fun for our girl. She was all smiles.

Also her brother Christopher and sister Diana came to visit her today, just to hug her neck and tell her that they love her. Is that not sweet???

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children and adults alike. As Cheyenne says, “You are awesome”!!!!

Please join me in uplifting the following people to the Lord in prayer tonight. Kerry, who had heart surgery Monday, Monika who is in a coma, Christy who just found out that there is regrowth after completing all known medical procedures, Paulina’s family coping with her loss from this terrible tumor, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Fisher who is experiencing headaches, Rachel Joy running a high fever, Tyler, Connor, Melody awaiting MRI results, Haley as they still fight the hospitals and insurance companies, Jennifer that she is safe, and one of our newer friends, Justin Tackett, a young man from San Angelo and one of Shannon Hospital’s Miracle kids, as he enters hospice care and prepares for his Make A Wish trip. Also James’ brother Cole in Iraq as well as the many other men and women in Iraq and other unfriendly countries, and Ms Pam, a Prayer warrior for Cheyenne and many of the other children, who is having surgery herself tomorrow. Many of this children need a miracle.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 8:40 PM CDT

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IT’S PARTY TIME

As many of you know, Miss Cheyenne Marie will be turning the BIG 13 this week on the 23rd. To celebrate, we are planning to have a come and go kind of open house for anyone that wants to stop in and say hello. Mom is making a great big cake, and there will be ice cream, punch, and all the goodies. So, if you are not doing anything this coming Saturday (the 25th) between 2pm and 6pm, please stop by the house. No gifts are necessary, as Mom and Dad will take care of that. Cheyenne just wants to see all her friends, say hello, and hug their necks a little.

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UPDATE 9pm

Our little sweet friend, Paulina, was taken from this earth by this horrible tumor today. She is now pain and cancer free. Please keep her family in your prayers as they spend their first night without their baby.
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Today was another day that was a little better than yesterday for my pumpkin Cheyenne. She felt better, and was just a little stronger. She is still so very weak, but each day she accomplishes something she could not do the day prior. Most of her weakness is now in her arms and hands, so we are making sure we include that in her daily physical therapy.

Today I spoke to Dr Estrada’s office. Thanks to wonderful Nurse Sue, who ran a little interference for me with the Dr, Cheyenne WILL NOT spend her birthday in the Doctor’s office. Cheyenne is now starting the new chemo trial (zarnestra) on next Monday.

Today Cheyenne felt well enough to go into town for a little shopping with mom, getting ready for her party Saturday. She is sooooo excited about turning the big 13 this Thursday. WOW, a teenager!!!!!!! I guess I won’t be able to call her my little stink, or pumpkin! HA, NOT!!!! She is and always will be my little stink, pumpkin, and sunshine!!!!!!!!!!!!

This evening she actually felt well enough to sit on the steps of the house, that’s right, sit on the steps of the house, and watch Christopher and I do some yard work. I was soooo afraid that she was going to just topple over, but she didn’t. She sat out there for at least 30 minutes before asking me to take her inside.

Also today Cheyenne felt well enough to do a little scrapbooking. Her and mom made thank you cards and did scrapbooking for over an hour.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. As I was checking several of our friends tonight, it became rather depressing. I have an awfully long prayer list tonight for several friends that really need prayers.

Kerry, who had heart surgery Monday, Monika who is in a coma, Christy who just found out that there is regrowth after completing all known medical procedures, Paulina, Trevor, Ray-Anne, Fisher who is experiencing headaches, Rachel Joy running a high fever, Tyler, Connor, Melody awaiting MRI results, Haley as they still fight the hospitals and insurance companies, Jennifer that she is safe, and one of our newer friends, Justin Tackett, a young man from San Angelo and one of Shannon Hospital’s Miracle kids, as he enters hospice care and prepares for his Make A Wish trip. Many of this children need a miracle from our Holy Father.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Monday, September 20, 2004 11:33 PM CDT

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IT’S PARTY TIME

As many of you know, Miss Cheyenne Marie will be turning the BIG 13 this week on the 23rd. To celebrate, we are planning to have a come and go kind of open house for anyone that wants to stop in and say hello. Mom is making a great big cake, and there will be ice cream, punch, and all the goodies. So, if you are not doing anything this coming Saturday (the 25th) between 2pm and 6pm, please stop by the house. No gifts are necessary, as Mom and Dad will take care of that. Cheyenne just wants to see all her friends, say hello, and hug their necks a little.

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Anytime you have to drive 7 hours in a day to a Doctor appointment, it is a loooong day. We just arrived home a few minutes ago.

Cheyenne’s appointment with the Neurosurgeon went well and her stitches were removed.

Following that appointment, we had a spur of the minute appointment to have an echocardiogram at Children’s Methodist for Dr Estrada. The Zarnestra chemo trial requires (most pediatric trials now do) it prior to beginning. Well, that spur of the minute appointment lasted until past 5pm. By the time we stopped by Dr Estrada’s office, and then got something for Cheyenne to eat, it was getting pretty late, hence the late journal.

Cheyenne had a really good day today. Feeling better today than yesterday, and again, just a little stronger. Cheyenne had the giggles most of the day today, she just thought that everything was funny, especially mom and dad.

There were 2 more firsts today for Cheyenne since her bout with hydrocephalous and surgery. At a rest stop today, she played an arcade game. She didn’t win anything, but had fun playing. Also, today Cheyenne actually put on her own shoes, without help, while in the car. That is a huge improvement.

The worse part of today was in speaking to Dr Estrada, he wants Cheyenne to return Thursday to begin her new chemo, at least to start preparing for it. Well, you know what day Thursday is, Cheyenne’s birthday. When Cheyenne heard that tears came to her eyes. She DOES NOT want to spend her birthday at a Doctor’s office. So, I guess I will be calling Dr Estrada tomorrow to see what we can work out. She deserves a birthday Doctor and hospital free.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are AWESOME and POWERFUL. Please remember Connor, LaKota, Pauline, Kerry, Tyler, Trevor and Ray-Anne in your prayers tonight. Also prayers for Jennifer’s well being and to come home safe and sound. We need to also praise God tonight for all the children that we regularly pray for that are doing well and feeling good. We sometimes tend to forget, or at least I do, to thank God for his answered prayers. Speaking of Praising God, today at the Neurosurgeon’s office, we visited with Tory, the young lady that had surgery immediately prior to Cheyenne. Tory is looking and doing wonderfully, and started school today. Thank you God!

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad
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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Sunday, September 19, 2004 9:42 PM CDT

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IT’S PARTY TIME

As many of you know, Miss Cheyenne Marie will be turning the BIG 13 this week on the 23rd. To celebrate, we are planning to have a come and go kind of open house for anyone that wants to stop in and say hello. Mom is making a great big cake, and there will be ice cream, punch, and all the goodies. So, if you are not doing anything this coming Saturday (the 25th) between 2pm and 6pm, please stop by the house. No gifts are necessary, as Mom and Dad will take care of that. Cheyenne just wants to see all her friends, say hello, and hug their necks a little.

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Cheyenne had another good day, feeling even better than yesterday and a little stronger as well. It is becoming harder to keep her from trying to do things she really shouldn’t, but that is our little stink!! She just smiles and smiles when we catch her trying to get up by herself, or reach for something when she shouldn’t. I believe she loves tormenting her mom and dad.

We didn’t make it to church this morning, but if we had known then how well she would be feeling, I am sure we would have taken her. Instead the entire day was spent at home, not going ANYWHERE! Now as of late, that is strange around here!!

This afternoon Cheyenne felt so good, that she asked me to play video games with her. Well, after 7 games of Mario Kart, I won one, and Cheyenne won 6!!!! But she cheated!!! I don’t know how she did it, but every time I would be close to winning, she would begin laughing and Cinnamon would jump on my chest and start smothering me in kisses. Of course I couldn’t see the screen, and Cheyenne would beat me!! It was a conspiracy I am sure!

This evening was filled with visitors for Miss Cheyenne. First her brother Christopher came over to help dad with a few things, and to hug Cheyenne’s neck.

Then Cheyenne had a wonderful surprise. Sifu Master Ector Troncoso and his family (minus baby ET) and Sifu Master Instructor George Howard, from the San Angelo Martial Arts Academies, all came for a good long visit. Cheyenne got an awfully lot of hugs there!! Not only are Ector and George the two best Karate instructors in the world and from the best school in the world, they are very good people, and good friends to Cheyenne and the whole family. Also Cheyenne goes to school with Lydia, Evan, and Micala. Besides hugs, they brought the trophy and a copy of the performance by Cameron Valadez (I believe from the Golden Dragons in San Antonio) ,that he dedicated to Cheyenne during the Karate competition in San Antonio. Cameron is a fantastic martial artist and friend of Cheyenne’s from all the Karate Competitions and has a heart of gold. Thank you Cameron, Jordan, Edward and Stephanie. Also thank you for the kind gift to Cheyenne, she will use it wisely.

Of course it didn’t stop there. Sifu Troncoso and Sifu Howard also brought a beautiful Martial Arts Academies ball cap, monogrammed with Cheyenne’s name and the nickname of “Champ” on the back. Micala gave Cheyenne handmade/drawn get well cards and pictures. They are absolutely beautiful, Micala. Then as another surprise, at the last Karate Tournament here in San Angelo, a collection was taken up for Cheyenne and they presented the proceeds to Miss Cheyenne.

And, while they were here, in popped Cheyenne’s best friend in the world, James. There was James, also bearing gifts. A beautiful rose, can of cookies, and a gift bag full of goodies. Quite the young man!!

Finally, the night was topped off by Christopher and Leslie returning with Cheyenne’s nieces, Maddie and McKayla. They bring soooo many smiles to Cheyenne. She loves those 2 dearly.

Right now Cheyenne is still up and going, watching TV. We do have an early day tomorrow, taking off for San Antonio to see the Nuerosurgeon, have a checkup, and remove the stitches. Hopefully, we will also see Cheyenne’s oncologist and get the ball rolling again on the Zarnestra chemo trial.

Thank you all for caring and prayers for our little girl Cheyenne and all the other children. It makes such a big difference in our lives. If you would, also remember our friends Pauline, Ray-Anne and Connor in your prayers, Kerry Floyd who will have heart surgery tomorrow in Austin, Melody having her MRI tomorrow, and Tyler having surgery and scans/tests tomorrow. Also, please pray that Jennifer will call home or be found safe and sound.

Thank you and God Bless you all,

Cheyenne's dad
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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Saturday, September 18, 2004 9:18 PM CDT

Again today, Cheyenne felt a little stronger and a lot better than yesterday. So, in true Cheyenne fashion, she made a day of it, enjoying every minute.

Today there were several firsts since surgery for Cheyenne. Today she walked without her walker for the first time (with mom having a deathgrip on her arm of course, just in case). Not just a little, but a couple of times for 15 to 20 feet. Today was the first day that she felt like playing her video games since surgery. Also, today was the first day since surgery that she wanted to boardgame. Now we didn't get to play one, but the desire was there and it was just that she found something more fun to do instead. We LOVE improvement.

Today for lunch, Coach Slate and her family treated Cheyenne, mom and dad to lunch at IHOP. They have an all you can eat shrimp special going on. Cheyenne ate all her first serving and then the 2nd!!!!! Thank you Coach!!!! Cheyenne sure loved seeing all of you, and HANNA!!!!

After lunch, of course Cheyenne did not want to go home. She just HAD to go to A store to shop. I picked Toys R Us. Little did I know that there was a 50 percent off sale going on. We got a little head start on Cheyenne's birthday next week as well as on Christmas for all her nieces and nephew.

Cheyenne's big sis Diana wanted to take Cheyenne to a movie by herself today, but mom and dad, the scaredy cats, wouldn't part with Miss Cheyenne today..

After getting home we were surprised by visits by Cheyenne's brothers and their families (minus McKayla and Maddie who were visiting out of town). We had a WONDERFUL time.

Michael brought a cake that HE made (Pina Colada) and it was FANTASTIC!! Then Mr Chris overheard Cheyenne mention that she wanted to see the movie Ella Enchanted. Well, Chris and Leslie left, and then reappeared about an hour later with Ella Enchanted. As I type, they are all enjoying watching it. Cheyenne is sure loved by her brothers and sister!!!! Of course, we love them JUST A LITTLE ALSO!!!!!

Thank you all for caring, checking and praying for our little pumpkin Cheyenne and all the other children. It makes such a big difference in our lives. If you would, also remember our friends Pauline and Connor in your prayers tonight. Last night I mentioned Kerry Floyd from Cheyenne's Karate Class. I understand that due to some blood clots, they were not able to perform the emergency surgery on her heart yet, and it is scheduled for Monday at noon. Please keep this beautiful young lady in your prayers as well. Also, I don't have many details, but I understand that there is a young lady in Louisiana, the granddaughter of Charlotte Kolls, one of Cheyenne's most faithful prayer warriors from Glen Meadows Baptist Church, that is missing during the aftermath of the nasty storms there. Please, please pray for this young girl and her family that she will be found safe and sound. Also, I just discovered that our very good friend Ray-Anne is going through almost exactly what Cheyenne just went through, so please keep her in your prayers as she continues to get stronger.

Thank you and God Bless you all,

Cheyenne's dad
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AUDREY'S UMBRELLA

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you would like to help with this worthy cause, you can email me and I will pass it along, or you can email Bonnie direct at audreysumbrella@braintrust.org .

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Friday, September 17, 2004 8:46 PM CDT

Today was a pretty good day for Cheyenne. She seems a little stronger, more alert, and tries to be a lot more INDEPENDENT!!! Also today she says that she did not experience any dizzy spells when we got her up to move around. She is still really, really weak all over her body, arms, legs, neck, just everywhere. We are working with her, making her use her walker, getting in and out of her recliner, and using her hands to do all her tasks for herself.

Also today I noticed that she would spend more time in the wheelchair rather than the recliner, and was pretty freely roaming the house in it.

Today, FINALLY, she felt well enough to begin to get interested in all the cards, letters, and packages that came while she was in the hospital. Mom sat down with her and opened about ½ of them. She is one happy little girl reading all the cards, letters, and of course, OPENING THE PACAKAGES!! She commented that there were sure a lot of wonderful people out there that are awfully good to her and love her! THANK YOU, SHE WAS RIGHT!!

She even felt well enough to write a sweet letter to Chemo Angel Lori all by herself. Of course, Cheyenne’s hands don’t work very well since her trip to the ER and subsequent surgery, but there she was, doing her best typing away on the computer.

Speaking of all the cards, letters and packages that Cheyenne received, I need to mention to please read the bottom of this journal. Many of the cards and packages were from Audrey’s Umbrella. I am going to try to mention this on several of the next journals, just in case there is someone out there that would like to help out a very worthy cause sending cards and letters to children and adults that are fighting for their lives due to a brain tumor.

Cheyenne felt so well today, that she insisted on getting out of the house again. She was up for Mexican food, so we went to one of her favorite places where she cleaned her plate. Steroids sure stay with a person a long time!!!! Then she wanted to go to Walmart just to shop. Miss Independent rolled off in her wheelchair several times, making me go after her. I think she does it on purpose and gets a kick out of it.

On the medical front, I did speak to a Neurosurgeon’s office in Chicago today, and they are going to review Cheyenne’s MRI’s to verify that the tumor is completely inoperable. They also gave me some good information on trial research and a few contacts. We are also still in the process of contacting several major institutions on opinions. We basically know what trials are out there, but we want to be certain that we haven’t missed something that we could do BEFORE going the trial route as well as opinions on which trials seem more promising than others. The problem is time. If the tumor is currently growing it could be growing at an alarming rate. This tumor is known to grow at many times its normal rate after it recurs following radiation. So, while we research, we have to move forward with the best shot available. Hopefully we could always change, although in the Phase I and Phase II trial world, many trials disqualify a person if they have ever started another trial. Not all, but most.

Thank you for all your prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Earlier today I learned that a young lady from Cheyenne’s Karate school, Kerry Floyd, really needs prayers. She was airlifted to Austin, TX for emergency heart surgery this morning. I have not heard how she is currently doing but will let you know when I do.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne’s dad

Currently seeking volunteers to participate:

Audrey's Umbrella is a charitable mail program, designed to support people living with a brain tumor, by sending encouraging and cheerful mail. They are currently seeking volunteers to help in their quest. Their website is not yet up and running but will be soon through the Brain Trust site. They will have Featured Friends each month, to which the cards and letters will be mailed. For the month of September, the following people are being featured:

Anthony 60s nursing care facility - health declining
Launese 30s recovering from surgery
Cheyenne 13 likes horses, lambs, karate & scrapbooking
Jimmy 5 likes cars, fire engines, Spongebob & Clifford

cards may be sent c/o
Audrey's Umbrella
P.O. Box 232
Rye, NY 10580

If you want additional information, you can email me and I can forward your information to our friend Bonnie from Audrey’s Umbrella.

Thursday, September 16, 2004 7:19 PM CDT

Today mom worked with Cheyenne doing her physical therapy several times. Cheyenne is still very weak, but mom was able to get her to walk using her walker around the room several times throughout the day.

For a break from just sitting around the house, we drove Cheyenne into town to visit the Concho River and feed the ducks again. Unfortunately, we were a little late and they had apparently already been fed. We did see ducks, pigeons, and squirrels, but none were very interested in eating. One duck in particular was still there. Last time we were there Cheyenne named him "Knot head" because he has a tuff of feathers on top of his head. But he also was not hungry.

Also this afternoon Pastor Bob and Chester from our church came by for a visit with Cheyenne. They brought her ICE CREAM!!!

Today I did speak to Dr Bowman from Cooks again as well as placed a call to a Dr and Nurse in Chicago. Dr Bowman gave me a few names and contacts that I will have to follow up on. I did not get through to Chicago, but will keep trying. I also went through most Phase I and II trials that are currently open on the internet. There is not much out there for recurrent pontine gliomas. The Zarnestra trial is just that, a trial. It has worked on certain adult brain tumors, but has never been tried on a pontine glioma.

Thank you so much for checking on our little girl and please continue your prayers for her and the other children.

Thank you and God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, September 15, 2004 5:59 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a pretty good day today, although a long one.

She was up this morning by 6am to take medicine and would not go back to sleep. Of course mom and dad did not get to bed quite as early as Chey, so we are just a little tired also.

Today was Cheyenne's appointment with Dr Bowman of Cooks Children's Hospital in Ft Worth. Cheyenne just LOVES him. We spoke about various treatments and Cheyenne's current condition. We also discussed Texas Children's Hospital in Houston, and the fact that they have a team dedicated to research on the diffuse pontine glioma. Dr Bowman will be talking to them for us regarding trials currently open.

Regarding the Phase II trial of Zarnestra, we determined that it would probably not be any easier doing the trial at Cook versus San Antonio. Both would require about the same travel and away from home time. Unless something changes tomorrow when I speak to Dr Bowman, we will most likely start the Zarnestra trial in San Antonio as soon as the chemo is ordered and comes in. Also, since all of our records are in San Antonio and all treatment has been there, we most likely would be able to start the treatment quite a bit sooner.

The biggest downfall in being treated in San Antonio is the fact that Cheyenne absolutely loves being treated at Shannon Hospital. The staff there are out of this world and the facilities are really nice also (not to mention the food, it is GREAT!). But, most likely if we took her to Cook, we would be making just as many trips to Ft Worth as we will to San Antonio.

Considering Cheyenne had a COMPLETE day, she seemed to improve just a little again today, not a lot, but a little. We left the house for the appointment at around 1030am and did not get back home until around 5pm. That is up in the car or wheelchair all day long.

After the Dr appointment, Cheyenne was starved to death. She had not eaten since breakfast, the appointment didn't end until 3pm, and the steroids are still in her system. We gave her the choice of places to go, and of course she chose shrimp at Red Lobster.

We were concerned about taking her into a sit down restaurant. We thought that she might be embarrassed by her huge incision on her head (we can't cover it for awhile) and also her motor skills and hand/eye coordination are not 100 percent since surgery. But our little stink just looked at me, pointed up to the incision on her head, and without cracking so much of a smile said, "This means I can go into any restaurant I want to and eat anything I want to and they can't say a thing!!!". Then she gave me that big beautiful smile!

She still has that sense of humor, although to be perfectly honest, I had no idea she was sooo funny. When we arrived back home today mom wheeled her back into the house and started lifting on her to help get her into the recliner. Cheyenne looked up without any hint of a smile and said, "I can't stand up!" She gave us a few minutes to stew and worry where Mom and dad started asking all the questions. Then little Miss Cheyenne just looked up and said, "Nope, I have the seat belt on!!!"

This morning was Cheyenne's last dose of steroid, although Dr Bowman suggested that some of Cheyenne's problems may go away if we continue for awhile. We will have to talk to the Dr that precribed them as well.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and our family, the other children and their families. It really means so very much to us all. If you would, please remember the family of sweet little Carter Martin in your prayers tonight as he went to be with the Lord while we were in San Antonio. He is pain and cancer free awaiting being reunited with his family. Also please say an extra prayer for little Tyler Tucker, LaKota and Connor.

Again, thank you so very, very much and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, September 14, 2004 9:32 PM CDT

Our Internet has been down most of the day but I was finally able to borrow someone's account to update.

Today was an awfully hectic day for Donna and I, and then Cheyenne is living the life of leisure. Ha.. My little stink sure knows how to get Mom and Dad to jump. But we LOVE every minute of it.

Cheyenne has improved a little today, just a little stronger, and not quite as "spacy" as she was yesterday. She still is requiring just about 24 X 7 care and can't do much by herself. What she can do by herself is no where near 100 percent. Pretty much everything is hard for her to do at this point. But improvement is GREAT to see.

Earlier today Cheyenne was trying to move herself in the recliner and exerted herself a little too much, which resulted in a headache and double vision for about 15 to 30 seconds. Of course the reason for the surgery was to eliminate the pains in her head, so hopefully this was just a passing thing. We have been reducing her steroid over the past week and tomorrow is her last dose. We will be praying that no further symptoms pop up as the steroids are stopped.

Of course for mom and dad, there are not enough minutes in the day to do everything that needs to be done. We were both soooo busy today. Trying to catch up around the house and being at Cheyenne's beck and call all day.

I spent many hours on the phone today attempting to get in touch with Doctors or arrange things. I really needed to find out some things from Cook Children's Hospital by today as I had promised Dr Estrada I would call him back today. I guess I will just have to wait until tomorrow to call Dr Estrada back with our decision on where Cheyenne will be treated.

Cheyenne does have a 1245 appointment with Dr Bowman of Cooks tomorrow at Shannon Hospital here in San Angelo. Hopefully from there we will be able to make a decision and get the ball rolling. Time is of the essence on this tumor, so hopefully there won't be a delay.

Cheyenne sooo loves being home. She has Cinnamon in her lap CONSTANTLY. Cinnamon is such a caring little puppy. After she got over the excitement of us being back home (which took several hours), she has calmed down and is so gentle and sweet to Cheyenne, staying by her side constantly. Even when we put Cheyenne in the wheelchair, Cinnamon runs between the wheels and jumps on the front where Cheyenne's feet are for a ride.

I don't want to bore everyone with my rambling thank you's, but soooo many people made Cheyenne feel like a queen while in the hospital, I just wanted to share some of it so you would know how loved the little stink is and how much we appreciate it.

It really kept her spirits up and made our little pumpkin smile ALOT. She received beautiful flowers from the Christoval School District Teachers and Staff, beautiful flowers from Trinity Church staff, and helium balloons from soooo many people. I am afraid to try to name them as I may forget someone. James Bouligny and his family, the Valva's, the Zech's, and I know there are many more.

Then there was the Harrison's spoiling her completely and totally bringing her ice cream and cookies EVERY day.

Then there were all the goodie baskets and bags stuffed completely full of food, games, etc. Coach Slate and her family sent a HUGE basket loaded with EVERYTHING, Maggie Oswald a HUGE, HUGE package with EVERYTHING (including board games, food, EVERYTHING), Ken and Fran gave her a hand painted T-Shirt with "Cinnamon and Me" painted on it (Cheyenne just absolutely loves it) and a bandana that matches the T shirt, Janie (Sifu George's niece) a HUGE basket stocked completely full of activities and food.

Cheyenne also has quite a collection of stuffed animals from her hospital stay. She has named every one of them. I have no clue how she can remember all those names, but she does.

When she was in the hospital Grand Master Thompson (of Thompson Karate Academies) and his dad and girlfriend came to visit twice, both times bringing a little stuffed animal. She has named the Harley Davidson puppy "Spike or Sparky", (I can't remember) and the little pony "Penelope". Then she has the green frog from her niece and nephew Bryce and Allysa named "GF", the snuggly lamb from her nieces Maddie and McKayla named "M&M", a big wrinkly dog from Maggie Oswald named "Pudge", a very, very soft cute little puppy from the Mike Valva family named "Cuddles", a purple bear LOADED with braclets and jewelery from the Rayfield family named "Jewel", a little hand painted ceramic puppy from Madison named "Luke" and last but not least, a purple Zebra from mom and dad named "Alfredo". NOW WE WILL SEE IF SHE CAN REMEMBER THEIR NAMES 2 WEEKS FROM NOW!!!! HA!

Then on top of everything else, when we returned home Cheyenne had a table full of get well cards and huge packages in the mail We still have not opened them, as she is not quite up to it yet, but she has been eyeing them this evening.

Thank you EVERYONE, for all the wonderful prayers and things you do for our little girl and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad (sorry about the rambling)

Monday, September 13, 2004 10:04 PM CDT

Today was one LONG day for Cheyenne and the rest of us. And, if you didn't know it, a girl can't get any sleep in a hospital, waking you a couple times an hour in ICU then every 2 hours on the Pedi floor. Shining lights in your eyes, taking all your vitals, making you push and pull with your hands, arms, legs, and feet, then on top of that, giving you some kind of medicine about every hour.

The CT scan today was a little late, getting finished at around 8:30 am and Cheyenne getting her discharge orders at around 9:30 or so. THEN, that's right, THEN it happened.

It seems that Miss Cheyenne knew perfectly well that she was to NEVER try to stand by herself, or anything close to trying to stand, lean, or even move on the bed. Well, according to Miss Independent, she thought that was ONLY while she was in the hospital, and NOW she had her discharge orders, right??? Well, she did try to stand by herself, and yep, lost her balance and crashed into the tile floor, hitting her shoulder and side of her head.

A Doctor was summoned to check her out. Of course he was busy, soooo, about 2 hours later (by then we knew that she was ok) she was checked out and given the green light to leave the hospital.

Now we had missed our Oncologist appointment at the Medical Center. So when we arrived there, it was wait, wait, wait. Finally got to see the Dr to talk about the Phase II chemo Zarnestra. Well, it seems that he had the wrong consent forms, it would be tomorrow at the earliest before he could get the proper ones. Then of course I would have to sign them, all before the chemo could be ordered. And when it is ordered, it has to be put together and then mailed back to the Dr in San Antonio, so on and so on. Otherwords we are talking major delays.

After speaking to Dr Estrada, we left it where I will call him tomorrow to tell him if we will continue treatment there or go elsewhere. Donna and I got on the cell phone in an attempt to determine if the Pediatric Oncologist from Cook that visits San Angelo can give us Zarnestra, if he is accepting new patients, and what other trials Cook Children's is offering. Of course, we could not get through. So right now everything is still pending. Hopefully through the internet tonight I can get the information we need.

We finally arrived home a little before 9pm. As Cheyenne put it, Cinnamon is "HAPPY ALL OVER". That little puppy sure missed her mama!!! Also Christopher and Leslie brought over Cheyenne's 2 little nieces for a hug and kiss. So Cheyenne is happy.

I don't want to paint a too rosy picture of Miss Cheyenne. She is still one sick little girl. Generally she is very, very tired and weak with lots of symptoms that she is dealing with. Some we have medication for that may help, others time may help, others they just don't know. A 5 minute phone call, or exertion such as being helped out of bed to the wheelchair, may knock her down for a couple of hours. Then sometimes, she is alert and much stronger.

At least for the next several days she is going to be really limited on her activities. Since arriving home, she has been the strongest since the surgery. With help from Mom tonight, she actually took 5 or 6 baby steps without losing her balance. We pray that tomorrow will be even better. Also since surgery her arms and hands have been numb and tingling. Today she said they were no longer numb.

We have not been able to read many of the guestbook entries, or check on our friends since leaving. Hopefully tomorrow we will do it as a family. Also when we arrived home tonight, we found a HUGE pile of mail addressed to Cheyenne. Hopefully that will also be tackled tomorrow as well as the around 1,000 emails and many telephone messages we have.

I can never express our gratitude enough for all the wonderful people helping us through this journey. You are absolutely wonderful.

Thank you for all the prayers, support and everything you do for Cheyenne, our family, the other children and their families.

God Bless each and every one of you

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, September 13, 2004 8:59 PM CDT

We just arrived home, I PROMISE I will update a little later when I get everything unloaded and Cheyenne hugged a little.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, September 12, 2004 10:41 AM CDT

UPDATE 9pm

This evening Cheyenne was still really tired. After giving her a shower though, she did look a little better than she did all day. The nurse checked for us and the CT scan is scheduled for 7:30am, so we should know by 11am or so if we are going home. If so, I probably won’t have time to update, as we will have to rush over to the Oncologist’s office near the Medical Center prior to the trip back home.

Shep, Karen and Chase Harrison came by again for a visit. Cheyenne is really getting spoiled by them. Last time they brought ice cream, today it was home made cookies. The little stink started eating them as we were visiting. Her appetite is GREAT!

We took Cheyenne out for a walk in her wheelchair this evening all around the hospital, but didn’t get to see the babies like she wanted because the drapes on the window were closed.

Thank you for checking on our pumpkin and for all the wonderful prayers for her and all the other children.

God Bless

Cheyenne’s dad

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UPDATE 3:30pm

This afternoon Cheyenne does not really feel that well. She seems totally exhausted.

Physical Therapy did come in around noon and work with her quite a bit, including getting her on the walker for a trip down the hall. We are hoping and praying that she is just tired. When she gets tired the symptoms worsen, which really worries us.

The Neurosurgeon asked Cheyenne if she wanted to go home, to which Cheyenne said, "YES". So he said he would schedule a CT scan for in the morning early and decide then if he would release her in the morning.

We do have to see the Oncologist sometime tomorrow to talk about the upcoming treatment, either with him coming here or us going there.

I can't imagine how tired and sick looking Cheyenne will be after taking the trip all the way back home, after getting so tired today.

We did force her to take an hour long nap after therapy, and she just woke up. Hopefully she will rebound a little.

Thank you for the continued prayers and thoughts.

Cheyenne's dad

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Cheyenne had a good night last night, resting well, at least after going to sleep. She decided to stay up and was up until midnight last night watching a movie.

Of course during the night, with all the fluids that she is drinking, she is up about every 3 hours. But this is good for her, getting out of bed and moving around.

Also she is just loving the ice cream that the Harrison's brought. Ha, she had ice cream 3 times last night, and is already having her first for the day.

This morning as she awoke, she began asking if there was another visitor last night after she fell asleep. After asking about 3 or 4 times we started questioning her about it. She told us that her late Grampa Barger (Grandpa Frog to her)had held her hand throughout last night.

Speaking of Grampa Frog, I failed to thank Cheyenne's niece and nephew Bryce and Allysa for the beautiful big green stuffed frog. Cheyenne keeps it by her side, and appropriately named it, "GF", not for green frog, but Grampa Frog. Cheyenne can't wait to get home and visit all you guys.

Also this morning when Cheyenne awoke, she did not feel quite as well as when she had gone to bed. She was tired, and as she put it, "swimming" in her head and a little dizzy. She does seem a little more connected now than when she first woke up, so we hope and pray that today turns into a really good day.

Cheyenne is getting stronger in her arms and legs. She does almost all the work now when she gets out of bed and into the wheelchair. She is still experiencing a tingling sensation in her arms and hands, but the Dr has prescribed a medication for it and said that it would hopefull go away in a few days. Every so many hours the nurses come in and have Miss Cheyenne squeeze their hands, push with her legs and feet, etc. Most of the nurses comment about how strong she is,

It is now almost 11am, so I better get back to the room (I have to use the children's computer in the playroom to update). Cheyenne will be making me go on a lunch run shortly.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. And, by the way, we have met a wonderful young man named Charles just down the hall from Cheyenne that could use a few prayers. Charles had a horrible accident at school last week and had surgery the morning that Cheyenne did to remove a huge bloodclot from his brain. I understand that he is doing well, but has a long recovery process.

Thank you again and God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, September 10, 2004 4:26 PM CDT

UPDATE 8pm

Just a real quick update, mostly because Cheyenne asked me to tell everyone hello and God Bless.

She is sleeping after eating a really good dinner. It is kind of a joke around here, she has me go out for all her meals. It is whatever she is craving at the time. Tonight is was a tuna sandwich with onions and green peppers. And prior and after, thanks to the Harrison's, ICE CREAM!!

We are planning to let her sleep almost all night tonight, as since last thursday she has not had a single good nights sleep. Her steroids are down to 1 mg (AND NO HEADACHES) so hopefully she can sleep. Also she is off the IV fluids so she won't have to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes.

She seems a little "disconnected" and in a dream world, but we are praying that it will pass. Also by this evening she was strong enough to help us get her out of the bed which is an improvement. If she is stronger tomorrow we will probably be roaming the halls in her wheelchair.

Again, thank you to all the wonderful people for all the prayers, concern, encouragement, and for all those wonderful friends that have offered to open up their homes to us here in San Antonio. We are truly humbled by all the wonderful people in the world.

Thank you and God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

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UPDATE 3:30pm

Cheyenne was finally moved to the Pediatric Floor just a few minutes ago. We had a long visit with her Neurosurgeon this morning and we are hoping that Cheyenne will be back to her old self in a few days.

She is still very weak and we are constantly working with her. So far today, we have had her sit on the side of her bed twice and even took a wheelchair ride this afternoon. Also she is eating on her own, just still at a very slow speed. You could never guess what she had for lunch. Rather than Hospital food, Cheyenne had me run to a local cafe, called the Spring Creek Cafe. Their shrimp are out of this world, and Cheyenne devoured a huge plate. She tells me that I will have to find a Chinese place for tonight. Ha!

We have no idea how long we will be here, but hopefully not that long.

Also Cheyenne's room looks like a florist and balloon store. Mom is listing everything so proper thank you's can go out. Also, being not from San Antonio you wouldn't think she would have many visitors, WRONG!! She has been visited by so many of my friends, Donna's friends, her Karate friends. Thank you to everyone. It shows our little girl how much you all think of her.

Thank you again and God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

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UPDATE 7am 9/11/04

I wanted to update now while I can in the event the day gets too busy to do it later.

Cheyenne looks much better this morning than yesterday. Her facial color is returning to normal, she is easier to understand, and is a little more mobile. Most likely, after the visit by Dr Marlin, Cheyenne will be transferred to the Pediatrics floor out of Pedi ICU.

Yesterday the Physical Therapists worked with her twice, but nothing more than having her sit on the side of the bed for 5 minutes dangling her feet, which made Cheyenne dizzy. I bet today will be much more intense.

I see the food carts going by, so I have to get back to my pumpkin. I do know that she is HUNGRY!!

Thank you and God Bless

Cheyenne's Dad

----------------------------------------

Cheyenne continues to very slowly improve. It is so amazing to witness prayers being answered. Words can’t express our gratitude for all the outpouring of love, prayers, and support for our family and our “baby”.

As you can imagine, Donna and I have had some very anxious moments in the last 24 hours. After all, prior to surgery Cheyenne was probably 20 times better than she is now after surgery. We hope and pray that her healing continues and she will be 100 times better after surgery than before. Parents should never have to make these decisions!

Dr Estrada, Cheyenne’s oncologist called this afternoon. After doing research on the chemo drug Zarnestra, that Donna and I requested, he does feel that it is a worthy and promising Phase II drug, and it is available for Cheyenne as early as 1 to 2 weeks from now if we so choose. The best part of Zarnestra, besides offering promise and hope, it is an oral treatment.

We are currently only thinking about her recuperation from the surgery and praying that it improves her quality of life, which was the intended goal.

It is so hard sitting here watching how sick she is after surgery. Even though she is coming out of the anesthesia, it is slow. Everything she does now is in very slow motion, with the exception of her thinking process. She is as sharp now as she was prior. But her motions and her speech are weak and slow. She “forced” me to bring her Chik Filet for lunch. She ate very slowly, almost an hour and ½.

She has pains in her neck and both arms. Because of this, it does not help trying to get her to become more mobile. Because of her not being that mobile, concerns of fluid buildup in her lungs could become an issue. And the therapists, that come a couple times a day, say that the more mobile she is, the quicker her body will “wake up”. So, Donna and I have a constant process going with Cheyenne, interacting, moving, etc..

One thing about Cheyenne this afternoon, she has me wrapped around her little finger. I am wearing out the doors to the PICU going to get things for her. I just returned from a chocolate run. Coach slate sent an entire basket of every king of chocolate and snack there is, but nooooo, Cheyenne wants that for later. But, no complaints here. I love it!!

I still have not been able to connect to the internet for more than a couple of minutes at a time, just to upload updates. So I apologize to all our friends that I have not had an opportunity to visit or sign guestbooks. Cheyenne sends her love to all of you.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s dad

Friday, September 10, 2004 12:41 AM CDT

Thank you for all the prayers for our little pumpkin, Cheyenne!!!!

Finally at around 8am this morning Cheyenne started coming out of the anesthesia, about 14 hours after they had expected.

She is still very, very tired and not completely awake, but we have had a few good short conversations, some that made us laugh until we cried. She still has her sense of humor!!!

So far this morning the most asked for items by Cheyenne: Cinnamon (her puppy), Beef Lo Mein, Shrimp, and her nieces Maddie and McKayla.

We were able to open and show Cheyenne a few Get Well packages that have arrived. That brought a smile, and Cheyenne knows that she is loved. Thank you Jane (Sifu George’s niece), Fran, Maggie, and Coach. Also a sweet young lady named Tory Crawford, who had surgery by Dr Marlin just before Cheyenne, spent the morning making a beautiful card for Cheyenne. Tory was transferred out of Pediatric ICU this morning to the Pediatric floor. God Bless you Tory, you will be in and remain in our prayers!

Cheyenne did get to eat just a little this morning. Her mom fed her yogurt. Not quite shrimp or beef lo mein, but food non the less.

We are trying to get Cheyenne to use her arms and hands a little more as well as move her head. She is still a very sick little girl and will not be released from ICU today.

Bobby, Sherri and Allison Zesch just brought a smile to this little girls face. The biggest bunch of balloons you have ever seen were just delivered from them. Thank you!

Oh, and for those wondering about my rambling, this entry is a several hour long venture. Trying to write in Cheyenne’s ICU room makes it rather difficult.

Thank you for all the prayers. We could not make it without them.

God Bless

Cheyenne’s dad,

Thursday, September 9, 2004 5:25 PM CDT

UPDATE 6AM

Cheyenne really needs your prayers this morning and today. She is still not awake from the surgery. She should have came out of the anethesia 12 hours ago and hasn't.

Her vitals are ok and she is still in PICU. She responds to commands, tries to talk a very little when asked a question, but has a hard time and you generally can't understand her.

Donna and I are by her side giving her our love.

Hopefully the Neurosurgeons will be in this morning and they can determine what is going on.

Thank you

Cheyenne's dad
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This is Cheyenne's dad updating from the Pediatric Ward at the hospital.

Cheyenne came through the surgery well and is still in ICU where she will remain all night.

The only problem she is experiencing right now is that she is having a difficult time awakening after surgery, however, the Dr does not believe there will be a problem. Cheyenne is a "little" awake, responds to commands etc., and has an extremely hard grip with her hands and can move all her extremities.

Just to let you know how tough this little girl is I will relate this story:

As she first started coming around after surgery her mom was holding her hand and asked her to speak and say "Hi Mom." if she could hear her. In a very weak voice Cheyenne immediately said "Hi Mom". Then immediately Cheyenne said, "I want Shrimp!" A few minutes ago when the Dr was in the ICU room and asked Cheyenne how she was, in the weak voice Cheyenne told him, "I am HUNGRY!!"

Those steroids are still working!!!!! The poor baby has not had a bite since about 7pm yesterday.

Originally she was to go in for surgery at around 130pm, but was the third pediatric nuerosurgery for this morning, and the first took several hours longer than expected, so Cheyenne was delayed.

I had better sign off this computer and go check on my pumpkin.

Thank you Diana for the update and thank you all for your wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Also thank you to everyone that stopped by the hospital to see our little pumpkin today.

God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

_______________________________________
Hi! This is Cheyenne's big sister, Diana. My dad is unable to update as he is in San Antonio right now, so he asked me to do it for him. Cheyenne underwent surgery earlier today and she is now resting comfortably in the ICU. Thanks be to God for that! I want to also thank you for your continued prayers...they have helped incredibly, and the unending support. Thanks! God Bless you all, Diana

Wednesday, September 8, 2004 8:31 PM CDT

Today was a series of Dr appointments, consultations, and exams for Cheyenne.

We will be spending the night in San Antonio tonight, and Cheyenne will be having surgery between 1:30 pm and 2:30 pm tomorrow to relieve the pressure in her brain. The surgery is called a third ventriculoscopy and, like all brain surgery, is high risk. In the event the surgeon determines that a ventriculoscopy cannot be done safely due to the makeup of Cheyenne's brain in that area, he will install a shunt. The ventriculoscopy is the surgery of choice, as its failure rate is much, much less than a shunt.

The surgery will be preformed by Dr Arthur Marlin, a very, very highly qualified pediatric nuerosurgeon and will be done at the North Central Baptist Hospital on Stone Oak in San Antonio. The surgery is expected to last approx 1 1/2 to 2 hours and Cheyenne could be in the hospital for up to 3 or 4 days following surgery.

This surgery is not on the tumor, but only to relieve current and future pressure caused by the tumor.

As far as comparison of the last MRI that brought us here today to the one taken in June, again it is not good news. There is some conflicting information that makes it rather hard to understand. The Dr's feel that there was some tumor growth since the last MRI, but there has also been some necrosis (tumor dying), and then the swelling which caused the current problem. They have some ideas about why there is growth and necrosis, but the bottom line, they really can't be certain.

Cheyenne's Oncologist, the Dr we chose because he agreed to not give up, has told us that he has no other chemos to try. I gave him a couple, one being Zarnestra, and he had not even heard of it. He said he will be doing some research and we should call him next wednesday. He suggested we try a Phase I trial at Texas Children's Hospital.

We are not sure what we will do next, as right now we are only thinking about the surgery tomorrow. Bascially, I am sure that Donna and I are familiar enough with the system by now to research all the Phase I and Phase II trials in the United States if we do go that route. However, we are also confident that there are a few Phase II's that may offer promise if needed. We will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Thank you for all the prayers for our little pumpkin and all the other children.

God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, September 7, 2004 4:58 PM CDT

I don't want everyone getting used to these early updates, now!!

Last night Cheyenne was able to get a little more rest, it was around 5:30 before she awoke. That is better than 4.

When it came time for her to get out of bed, I cautioned her and had her first incline on her pillows, then slowly sit up and wait for a minute or so. Then I helped her off the bed, and GREAT, nothing happened. Which is exactly what we were praying for..

As of now, she has not had a single epidsode or seizure all day. Again, she is still weak and tired, and we are helping her do everything (which just absolutely drives her nuts!!!)

This morning was a BEAUTIFUL West Texas morning. It was in the low 70's or so and had a gentle breeze. I told Cheyenne to get dressed and we were going on a surprise trip. We spent the late morning and noon at the Concho River Park having a picnic and feeding the ducks, pigeons, birds, and even a little tiny squirrel.

Afterwards, since we were close to the Shannon Hospital, Cheyenne wanted to stop by and see the nurses at the Children's unit to say hello. They were very happy to see our little stink, and were pretty worried about her. But I am sure her smiling face made them feel better.

Also today, in memory of our very, very good friend and Cheyenne's caringbridge sister Celeste, we BAKED! Not much, but we made a cherry cobbler. And it was GOOD!!

Of course now that the day is almost complete, Cheyenne keeps asking, "What are we going to do, just sit here??" Yes, honey, you need your rest and we have been gone almost all day, so now we rest!!!!!

Tomorrow we will be again traveling to San Antonio for an early afternoon appointment with Cheyenne's Oncologist. At this point we have no idea how long we will be there or exactly what to expect. So, in case I don't update, you will know why.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the children. I did receive a specific prayer request today for a very sweet little boy named Jonathan. He is a beautiful 22 month boy suffering from hydranencephaly in Ohio.

Hopefully soon, when I have a little time, I will be able to check on a few more of our friends and return to more specific prayer requests.

Again thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, September 6, 2004 8:48 PM CDT

Today was much like yesterday for our little pumpkin. She feels okay, but is very weak and tired. Each night she barely sleeps, but had a better rest last night, sleeping until 4 am.

This morning she sat up fast and started to get down off the bed to go into the bathroom and had a very scary minute or so. Cheyenne had a seizure that lasted several seconds, but it felt like forever. It scared us all but fortunately, she has not had any other episodes or seizures the rest of the day.

It is obvious that there is still pressure affecting her. The Dr told us that Decadron would be a gradual thing, but I don't know how gradual.

Just Saturday a week ago, Miss Cheyenne was riding her horse, riding on the 4 wheeler with me and having fun. Things sure change fast. Now we are staying with her 24 by 7, not even allowing her to walk by herself. Although she is so weak, I don't know if she could if we allowed it.

We are praying for a better day tomorrow.

Thank you for all the thoughts, words of encouragement, and mostly all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, September 5, 2004 4:55 PM CDT

Cheyenne continues to improve a little each day. I don't believe she had an episode today, other than dizziness or weakness when standing up from a sitting position.

It is almost impossible to keep her sitting down and not trying to get up and walk across the room by herself. She is still too weak to do it by herself, but she is really stubborn. Must be her mothers side of the family!!

We began to taper the steroids for Cheyenne last night at midnight 2 mg per dose. The next taper will be tomorrow night at midnight when we go down another 2 mg.

We didn't make it to church today, the first time in awhile. But by early afternoon, Miss Cheyenne was feeling really well and just had go go to town. It seems that it is James' birthday, and Cheyenne didn't have a thing to give him.

Later in the afternoon, much of the family came over and we had a house full of people visiting Cheyenne. Her brother Christopher and his family, Grandpa and Grandma Fiveash, and Diana came over, and of course, Grandma Barger and Aunt NeNe are still down from Milwaukee.

Thank you for the continued prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Tonight I am also asking for continued prayrs for all the people in the path of Hurricane Frances.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, September 4, 2004 5:00 PM CDT

Again, an early journal tonight before the nightly internet malfunction. Hopefully, it won't go down today as the tech was here yesterday to replace the wireless antenna.

After journaling yesterday, Cheyenne did have a little relapse, having a few pretty severe episodes last night. However, today she is again somewhat improved. She has not had a severe episode since last night, and has not had any kind of "seizure" (for lack of a better word) since around noon.

Today at around lunch, Cheyenne INSISTED and getting out of the house. So, against my better judgement, we ventured out. After making it to Red Lobster so Cheyenne could enjoy some shrimp (one of her favorites foods) it seemed that Cheyenne was actually doing better out and about than at home.

So, it was off to Walmart to try to find a few "Healthy" foods for her steroid snacks.

All in all, Cheyenne did pretty good today. We are still not allowing her to try to stand by herself which is pretty hard for Miss Independent and she is still a pretty sick little girl. She just does not understand how serious this situation was and thinks that she can still tame the world. In all honesty, she probably should have been admitted into the hospital until today, but then I am not a Dr.

Thank you for all the many, many wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. We have many, many friends right in the path of Hurricane Frances tonight, so please keep them in your prayers.

Thank you and God Bless you all,

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, September 3, 2004 4:11 PM CDT

I thought I would try to update before our daily Internet crash.

Although Cheyenne is still a very sick young lady, she has improved immensely from yesterday. The Decadron is doing its job.

Today Cheyenne only experiences an occassional headache, and they are not as severe as yesterday. Also today, they are not affecting her vision, ability to walk, or feeling in her outer extremities.

She is still very, very weak and off balance, but it has only been one day. Decadron is a gradual thing, not like emergency shunt surgery, which would have been instantanous.

Yesterday when we left the hospital, the Dr and Nurse gave us discharge instructions. From these instructions, I can tell that they may have prescribed Decadron to many patients, but never lived in the household with one taking them.

The instructions were, only clear liquids, and the next day begin with maybe a few crackers for her diet.

Now think about it! They just injected 8 mg of steroid in our little girl and they give instructions like that!! About 5 minutes after the injection, all reasoning with a 12 year old was out the window. Then, CLEAR LIQUIDS??

When we got home it was "I AM HUNGRY" AND NO, I DON'T WANT CLEAR LIQUIDS OR A CRACKER, I WANT REALLLL FOOD!" By the way, to a 12 year old that was just injected with 8 mg of steroid, I learned that REAL FOOD means any food not currently in the house.

Soooo, after a quick trip to the closest Chinese Restaurant by dear old wrapped around her little finger Dad, Cheyenne had Chinese food.

Thank you for all the thoughts, entries and prayers for our little girl, our family, and all the other children. Please remember our friends Pauline, LaKota, Tyler, Carter, Kody, and all the families in the path of the latest Hurricane.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, September 2, 2004 8:24 PM CDT

Today was a very long, very stressful and scary day. Cheyenne began to rapidly go downhill last night and this morning and we rushed her to the Emergency Room this morning. That was where we spent the entire day.

After an MRI it was determined that the tumor area had significant edema (swelling) and it had begun to cause fluid buildup on the brain. After consulting with Cheyenne’s Dr in San Antonio, the ER Dr ordered an 8 mg injection of Decadron (steroid), Demerol for the pain and a combination of drugs for her nausea. We finally got out of the hospital at around 6pm.

On the way home I picked up a prescription of Decadron and Cheyenne will be on it (tapering it every 2 days) until her symptoms go away.

Cheyenne is now home, but is a very sick little girl. We have to remind her of that every few minutes, as those of you that know her know how independent she is.

The positive side of this story, is that since edema was present in the area of the tumor, that generally means that the chemo was kicking its butt, thus the swelling as it withers and dies. So, at least for now, I take back all those bad thoughts and words about the chemo drug irrinotecan.

We won’t know until sometime next week, when we travel to San Antonio, exactly how the tumor looks as compared to the last MRI. The only thing that we do know, is that the Radiologist here said that the problem was swelling, not tumor growth. But of course, he did not have the old MRI to compare it to. Actually he did, as I carry them with me, but they could not get their computers to open the CD.

Another positive thing about today, is that I had several hours of one on one with God in prayer today. And he answered my prayer. Thank you God!

Again, Cheyenne is still a very sick little girl tonight, and we are praying that the Decadron does its job quickly.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s dad

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 5:10 PM CDT

It seems as if our Internet goes out in the evening and night so I am updating a little early today.

This morning we made the decision to stop the chemo protocol that Cheyenne is currently on (Irrinotecan and Vincristine), so we did not have chemo today. She was on this protocol for almost a complete 4 cycles (3 days short of this last cycle). We are fairly confident that this chemo was working very well, however, the limiting factor in its use is its neurotoxciity. Yesterday, we were seriously considering that it had reached its toxic limit, but thought we would try this new medication that was supposed to limit some of the side effects. It did not help, or if it did, I can not imagine how horrible she would have felt without it.

Poor Cheyenne had the worse evening, night, and this morning thus far. The pains in her head were unbearable and then the nausea, dizziness and weakness set in today. Fortunately, as the day goes on and the more of the irrinotecan that leaves her body, the better she feels. I only wish we had made this decision prior to yesterdays treatment. It is not like the side effects get a little worse with each treatment, they multiply by 4 or 5 times, at least.

We contacted Cheyenne's oncologist with our decision this afternoon and asked that he come up with a couple of other options. We have located a couple of chemotherapy drugs that also have had good results which we will present to him to consider.

Right now Cheyenne's little body just needs to rest. Her next Dr appointment is on the 20th, the same day of her next MRI. Hopefully, depending on how things look on the MRI and how she feels, we will know what we will be doing next by then.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember our friends LaKota, Connor, Tyler, Carter, Paulina and Kody in your prayers tonight as well.

Thank you and God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 9:33 PM CDT

Again this evening our Internet Service Provider is not very trustworthy. We are losing our connection constantly and when it does come on, it is only on for a minute or so before losing it again. So again, a short journal.

Today was a pretty miserable day for Cheyenne. Nausea, head pains, dizziness and just feeling horrible all over. We did contact her Dr this afternoon and had a prescription filled for a medication that may help with the chemo side effects. As of yet no luck, but it has to build up in her body before it works the best.

Please continue your prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember Connor, LaKota, Pauline, Kody, Carter, and Tyler in your prayers tonight as well. As soon as I have more than a few seconds of internet access I will post the web site addresses of Carter Martin and Tyler Tucker.

Thank you and God Bless all of you

Cheyenne’s dad

Monday, August 30, 2004 11:19 PM CDT

Between problems with our Internet Service Provider and the power going off every few minutes at our house, I was not sure if I would ever get this journal entered. So, I will make it very short.

Today was a fairly good day for Cheyenne. The pains that she has been having are still on vacation. So, we are fairly confident that they are chemo related rather than tumor.

Today we did experience a few problems at chemo due to Dr confusion, but thanks to a very good nursing staff at Shannon, after a call to the local Dr who contacted Cheyenne’s oncologist in San Antonio, we were back on track. Fortunately as parents very involved in Cheyenne’s treatment, we routinely check her treatment prior to infusion.. As a result, we were at chemo a couple of hours longer than expected and finally arrived home between 8 and 9 pm.

During her infusion, Miss Jokester Cheyenne was in good spirit, totally humiliating mom and dad on Gamecube games. TIP: Don’t play Cheyenne in Mario Kart. No way you can win!!!!!!

After getting home Cheyenne decided that the humiliation at the hospital wasn’t enough, so she brought out the game of “Life”. Yep, again beat the pants off mom and dad!!

She was pretty zapped from today’s chemo (today being Monday it was Vincristine and Irrinotecan) so it didn’t take much convincing to get her to bed.

ONLY 4 MORE DAYS OF CHEMO PRIOR TO A 2 WEEK BREAK!!!!!!! Thus far, each break Cheyenne seems to get just a little better, so we are really looking forward to this one. But we know that we still have the worse part of the treatment still ahead of us, so please keep our little sunshine in your prayers over the next week or so.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I have not been able to check on any of our friends, but I do know that Connor is having surgery tomorrow and is really in need of prayers.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s dad

Sunday, August 29, 2004 1:45 PM CDT

UPDATE 8/29/04 815pm

I wanted to make sure that everyone saw the journal entry by Ector Troncoso today, at 1206am (Ector is Cheyenne's Sifu from the San Angelo Martial Arts Academy). Cheyenne loves Karate and loved participating in all the tournaments prior to being diagnosed. Thank you Cameron, that was a wonderful thing to do. Cheyenne wishes that she had been there to watch, and can't wait to see the video. Not only are you an extremely talented young man (All of us just love to watch you compete) but have a heart of gold. Thank you.

_______________________________________

So here it is, almost 2pm and I just arrived home. That is arriving home from yesterday!!!! And, Cheyenne is STILL in town with Mom.

Talk about a FULL day yesterday, last night, and morning!!

Yesterday morning started with Cheyenne having those horrible headaches, but not quite as often or severe. Now, you have heard of "Daddy Knows Best"? Well , not always... Ha..

I knew that Cheyenne had a scrapbooking appointment with her favorite person and coach in the whole world, Coach Jeanie Slate, at 5pm yesterday. Sooo, Dad, thinking he knew best, told Cheyenne that I really didn't want her to do much except hang around the house prior to the scrapbooking event. That way she would be rested and up for it.

Buttt, NOOOOOOO, Miss Cheyenne heard about Mom, Aunt Heidi, and Grandma going shopping at 1pm, and it was "I AM GOING WITH THEM"!!!

As expected, Cheyenne did not feel really well during the shopping trip, so it was, See, Daddy told you so! And all the while, I was convinced that she had ruined her scrapbooking event as well.

Well, WRONG!!!! Cheyenne got her second breath, the headaches, tiredness, and not feeling well was out the window, GONE, and Cheyenne had a GREAT time scrapbooking. She said that there was NOT ONE HEADACHE during the whole time.

At around 7pm Cheyenne called me and asked if I would bring a change of clothes so she could attend a church function right after scrapbooking. Of course, I would, but to be perfectly honest I was thinking that she would only stay at the church function an hour or so.

I finally convinced her to go home at 4am this morning, and then only with the promise that we would be back at 7:30 this morning.

Cheyenne has not had this much fun in months. She ran, laughed, played, ALL NIGHT LONG!!!! NOT A SINGLE HEADACHE!! NOT EVEN ONE!!!

This church function was something that they call "Commandos for Christ". The older kids, Cheyenne's age and older, plan an entire night of bible study and activities, all with a military type theme, for the younger kids, that are starting Confirmation this year. It starts at 8pm at the church, where the entire night is planned. The kids all wear camo clothes, paint their face in camo, sing Christian songs to a Military cadence, and wear special T-Shirts that say "Commandos in Christ" and " Take up thy cross and follow me."

At midnight, the kids leave the church and go to the younger kids homes and "Kidnap" the unknowing kids to take them to church. All with the parents blessing and assistance, of course. The entire night is then special activities and games that were completely designed and planned by the kids. All with emphasis on Bible study, trust, and building a relationship with the younger kids and the remainder of the Church youth.

The following morning, all the kids march into church (still all wearing their special camo and painted faces) and get to tell the congregation all about their night, what they learned and what they did. IT WAS SOOOO MUCH FUN.

And again, the most amazing part for Cheyenne, was that she was not sick or feeling bad AT ALL!!!! ALL NIGHT!! I did notice that the more tired she got, her balance became a little more off, but I believe mine did too. Ha.

AFter church this morning, we saw Aunt Heidi off to Milwaukee and ate in town. What did Cheyenne have??? Enchiladas Ole', with fresh green jalepenos cut up on top!!!! Talk about HOT!!!!

Right now, Cheyenne is still going strong, in town with Mom, her Grandma, and sister SHOPPING. Not bad for a kid that had 2 hours sleep last night!!!!

I am sure that she will crash when she gets home, but yesterday and last night was a WONDERFUL time for her.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. You can see that they work and work well in my little pumpkin.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, August 27, 2004 10:53 PM CDT

Today was not a great day for Cheyenne. This morning Cheyenne again experienced those pains shooting through her head. By noon they had mostly disappeared, but came back immediately after her chemo treatment this evening. Fortunately they were not as numerous or intense as the day before yesterday, but they make for a miserable time.

At one point this morning, I went outside and returned with Galaxy (the new lamb) so Cheyenne could "love" it a little. She loooves all animals so much.

Probably Cheyenne's high point of the day was beating the pants off Donna and me on the "Zach" machine (the gamecube/DVD unit) during chemo. By the way, for those that did not read it in earlier posts, these machines are in the hospital in memory and honor of Zachary Knightstep, a former pediatric patient at Shannon. They were purchased with funds from the Children's Miracle Network..

And then, how can I forget, the foooood. Tonight Cheyenne was fed fried catfish with all the trimmings during her infusion. Ha, AGAIN she ate every single bite, including the dessert.

Dear old Dad experienced a little Cheyenne withdrawal tonight. Before Cheyenne finished her chemo infusion, I had to leave to attend a friends retirement function (I figured I would let her kick mom's butt on gamecube awhile). During that short 4 hours that I was gone, I MISSED my pumpkin!!!!!! And, now this is sweet, our little sunshine TRIED to stay up and wait for me. When I got home there she was, all lying across the recliner sawing logs.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. We hope this 2 day break will bring a break from the headaches. Also a few of our friends, LaKota, Paulina, and Connor are in need of prayers pretty desperately.

Again Thank you and God Bless you all,

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, August 26, 2004 9:37 PM CDT

Today was a MAJOR IMPROVEMENT over yesterday for my little ray of sunshine. Cheyenne only experienced the streaks of pain in her head 3 or 4 times all day, and then they were much less severe and only lasted a couple of seconds.

We had soooo much fun together today. Cheyenne has a way of cracking me up with her sense of humor, jokes, faces, and just the things that she says and does. She was quite a character today, especially this afternoon. While enroute to chemo, during chemo, and on the way home afterwards I laughed until my side hurt. Days like these go down in my book as GREAT DAYS! At the hospital she was singing, dancing this little weird dance that she has, and just completely cutting up.

Unfortunately, this morning I assumed that Cheyenne would not feel that well, and didn't wake her up for school. So it was a no school day. But actually, that was probably best, as not only did she have a fun day, but did not overexert herself where she would pay for it later.

After yesterday, Donna and I were pretty stressed. While we knew that one of the rare side effects of the chemo were "severe head pains of sudden onset", we also had to think about tumor, ventricles being enlarged, etc, etc. Similar to the dizziness, we now feel alot better about the pains. Hopefully they will just go away and stay away. Don't know why, but Cheyenne seems to have ALL the side effects from this chemo whereas many of the other kids who take it do not.

Cheyenne still LOOOVES Shannon Hospital Children's Unit!!!! I asked her today as we were walking in for chemo if she still liked it, and her response was something like, "Oh Yessssssssss!!!!!"

Also tonight during her infusion we were served Beef Stew with all the trimmings. She completely devoured it, and then wanted to know if she could get seconds. I had to laugh, because when I told her that I would stop and get her something to eat after we left, she said, "No, I want Home Cooking like they have here at Shannon"! Now that is a compliment for the kitchen staff at Shannon!!!Again tonight, she called it a 5 star hotel and restaurant!

Since Cheyenne has missed all week, I will probably keep her home again tomorrow as well, if she will let me. All she talks about is getting to go to Mrs Luce's class.. HA.. If you are reading this Julie, she absolutely loves your class.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. In your prayers, please remember our friends Lakota, Paulina, and Connor. Connor's MRI is tomorrow and surgery is scheduled, I believe on the 31st.

Thank you and God Bless you all,

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, August 25, 2004 8:01 PM CDT

Cheyenne again felt pretty bad when she woke up this morning. Soooo, it was another no school day.

We are still struggling trying to determine what is causing the pains in her head. We actually spoke to her Dr today about steriods to see if they would help. Of course, depending on what is causing it they may or may not work. Hopefully they will decrease in severity and frequency shortly.

As it stands right now, Cheyenne's next MRI is September 20th, so barring any major problems between now and then, we should know how this treatment is doing.

It was pretty much a "hang around the house" day for Cheyenne today. About the only thing we did, was go to Chemo this afternoon, make a few cards, and watch TV. After Chemo, Cheyenne did ask to go for a ride on the 4 wheeler, so we drove down to check the mail.

AND, there in the mail was something REALLY SPECIAL!! There in the mail, was a letter, containing, NOT ONE, NOT TWO, BUT THREE Julianna Banana bracelets!!!!!!!! Ha, now they are up one on us, as we haven't mailed one of Cheyenne's to her yet!!! DON'T FRET JULIANNA, as soon as Cheyenne can get dear old dad off his behind and to the mailbox, it will be on its way.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. For those that do not know, Connor is going in for an MRI this friday, and is scheduled for major surgery on the 31st in an attempt to stop his cancer growth.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, August 24, 2004 8:07 PM CDT

Today Cheyenne made it to school, Sort of!!! Even though she felt pretty bad when she woke up today, and Mom and Dad tried to get her to stay home, she insisted on going to school. About 1/2 way there she started feeling pretty bad again, and I talked her into stopping by the school to get her books, and then coming home with me.

We are not sure which chemo does it, but one of them gives her sharp pains in her head. The pains seem to be pretty intense, but only lasts 3 to 4 seconds. She has had these since starting this chemo, but generally they are worse and more frequent at the beginning of the 2 week cycle and then again at the end. On the worse day she has had, she had them about 8 times throughout the day. We are thinking it is the Vincristine, since today she also had a few of the jaw and leg pains, which we know are caused by it. Also, as expected, her nausea raised its ugly head today, but Zofran pretty well keeps it in check, only leaving a few minutes before it takes effect to bother her.

Since we were home today, we decided to have her chemo treatment this morning rather than wait until this afternoon. This way we were able to meet Grandma Barger and Aunt Heidi when they flew in from Milwaukee. They will be visiting for awhile.

This evening Cheyenne felt well enough to ask to ride her horse, Black Jack. After saddling him up, Cheyenne rode only about 15 minutes. It was still about 95 degrees outside, and the heat makes her tired and dizzy. But 15 minutes was GOOD!! Cheyenne had a GREAT time and had the opportunity to give Black Jack a big hug and kiss for "Doing Good".

Also Cheyenne crawled into the sheep pen to play with the baby lamb. She has decided (at least tentatively) to name it Galaxy. So, now she has Scrumptious and Galaxy!!

Mom took a few photos today, so maybe she will post a few when she gets a chance.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Cheyenne also asked for special prayers for Coach Slate, who had day surgery today. HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER!! Also Coach, Cheyenne tells me that even though you told her that you did not hurt, she knows better, as she could hear it in your voice.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, August 23, 2004 7:53 PM CDT

Today was one looong day driving back and forth to San Antonio.

At Cheyenne's Dr appointment, her counts were good, but she has lost about 5 lbs in the past month. We described Cheyenne's condition the end of her last cycle of chemo and Dr Estrada felt that she shouldn't have experienced such drastic side effects. Starting today he again reduced the dosage of irinotecan. She is now taking 1.5 mg of Vincristine once a week and 15 mg of irinotecan daily. We will have to wait and see how she does with the neuropathy and dizziness.

Today's treatment went pretty well until about 30 minutes after we left the Doctor's office. All at once the chemo hit her pretty hard. After about 45 minutes some of it wore off and she at least looked a lot better.

When we arrived home Cheyenne got a pleasant surprise. One of our pet sheep had a beautiful little lamb while we were gone. Since it's mother is a pet, this baby will also be very gentle, so Cheyenne has another buddy.

Tomorrow is school. At this point I am pretty sure Cheyenne will feel well enough to go, but it is always best to wait and see.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, August 22, 2004 9:42 PM CDT

This morning was a normal Sunday morning around the house. Sunday School, Church, and then a Confirmation Class meeting kept Cheyenne busy all morning. When we finally did get home Christopher was here with little McKayla. McKayla and Maddie can really make Cheyenne smile. They are trying to buy a house just a few hundred yards down the road from us, and if they do, Cheyenne says that she is babysitting everyday..

This afternoon and evening it was not a too fun time around the house. Donna's mom and sister are coming down from Milwaukee, and what that means is if you stand still for longer than 30 seconds in the house you may get cleaned!!!!!!

We didn't have time to check the mail yesterday, so when we did today, there was a package from Cheyenne's good friend, Kaysha (Kody's sister). There were several bandanas that are not available around here. Kaysha, Cheyenne told me to tell you that she just looooves the colors and was wondering where you got them.

This evening Cheyenne doesn't feel really well. She is tired, probably from all the going and going over the past few days. She also got a strange headache for a short time earlier tonight.

Tomorrow morning early we are off to San Antonio for Cheyenne's beginning of chemo exam, bloodwork, and the first day of chemo. We are going to turn right around and get back home tomorrow evening so Cheyenne can be at school tuesday morning. Ha, She doesn't want to miss even a minute of school. As of tonight, we are planning on having her chemo each day immediately after school. We'll see how it works out.

I started updating some of Cheyenne's web page tonight, so if you see something that does not work, or if I left something out, please let me know. I added a few of our friends to the links. We have soooo many friends that we correspond with and have gotten to know, but they all haven't been linked. I would probably overwhelm everyone if I linked them all at once. Ha!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers do work, and Cheyenne is a prime example of that. Also please remember Justin Tackett in your prayers tonight as he is at Cooks to be undergoing tests to see if his cancer has returned. As far as I know, Justin does not have a caringbridge site. We just recently got to know his story as a Shannon Hospital Miracle kid. We had hoped to meet him at the Radiothon, but he became too sick to attend. Hopefully he was listening to the Radiothon, as Cheyenne went on the air to give him a little message. My little pumpkin has such a big heart. I have learned a lot from her, and still do, each and every day.

Thank you all and God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, August 21, 2004 8:39 PM CDT

WHAT A BUSY, FUN AND EXCITING DAY!!!!

This morning all Cheyenne could think and talk about was the Children's Miracle Network Radiothon this afternoon. After spending a couple of hours working on "hand made" thank you cards, it was time to dress and head off to the Radiothon.

Cheyenne was like a pro. Confident and ready to talk on the radio. She did a WONDERFUL job!!!

It was like a Family and Friends Reunion at the Radiothon. Almost EVERYONE showed up to hug Cheyenne. I would list them, but there were SOOOO MANY. Then there were all Cheyenne's new friends, the other Miracle Kids, everyone from KIXY, from Shannon Hospital, friends from church, on and on.

One family that I have to apologize to, COACH SLATE! Sorry Coach. We took a break to get Cheyenne something to eat and when we got back, EVVVVERYONE said you had just left.

Sooo, the important news of the day:::: Last year was the First Annual Miracle Kids Radiothon in San Angelo and they raised a little over $27,000 for the kids. This year, are you ready for this???? They raised over $93,000!!!!! Is that not AWESOME?????

Thank you to everyone that called in or came by. Every penny of this money benefits the children directly. Not just the ones that are currently sick, but into the future. With this money the hospital can do those things that their budget would not ordinarily cover. All for the kids!!!!!

Cheyenne is still a little hyper and active. But after a GREAT day like today, why not??

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember Michaela's family in your prayers tonight as well as one of Cheyenne's new Miracle Kids friends here in San Angelo. Justin Tackett was to be on the Radiothon with Cheyenne today, but became very, very sick. I understand that he will be traveling to Ft Worth to Cook's Children's Hospital tomorrow for tests. We are praying for you Justin!!!!

Thank you and God Bless you all,

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, August 20, 2004 8:27 PM CDT

UPDATE 1030pm
I am very sad to tell you that we have lost another friend tonight. Sweet Mikki (Michaela) went to be with the Lord tonight. Please remember her family in your prayers tonight. Mikki is now free of pain and cancer, flying free and happy.

---------------------------------------

Today was another one of those GREAT days at school for my little Sunshine.

When I picked her up at school this afternoon, the receptionist warned me that she had fallen and had a pretty good "strawberry" on her knee. So when I met Cheyenne I asked her about it. She basically blew me off and said, "Yea, I was walking around the track during PE and my feet got tangled up and I fell." I didn't say anything else about it. About 45 minutes later, while at home, out of the blue Miss Cheyenne looked up at me and blurted, "OK, I was running when I fell, OK?" Ha!! I guess she was feeling guilty about fibbing when she didn't want me to know that she was running and fell.

I am so proud of Cheyenne for something that she did tonight! We have been listening to the Radiothon for the Children's Miracle Network fundraiser since it started yesterday. It seems that Cheyenne was concerned that not enough people were donating to help the kids.

The Radiothon has a gift that they call the 12 X 12. You donate $12 a month for 12 months, for a total of $144.00 for the year.

Well, you guessed it! Cheyenne broke open her piggy bank and counted up all her nickels, dimes, quarters, dollars, etc and found that she had enough money to donate $144.00 to the fundraiser to help the kids. So this evening Cheyenne and family drove to the mall where Cheyenne gave them most of her life savings. When we asked her about it, she just shrugged it off, saying that the CMN needs it for the kids more than she needs it.

AND, as a reward, something really, really cool happened.

Coach Esposito of the Angelo State Rams Basketball team was at the Radiothon when we arrived. Earlier in the day he had offered a chance to assist coach his basketball team on November 6th of this year for one lucky person donating a 12 X 12 today. Well, by the time we arrived, the chance to coach had already been given away. BUT, being the person that he is, Coach Esposito asked Cheyenne if she would help coach that game as well. IS THAT AWESOME OR WHAT!! As you know, Cheyenne just LOVES BASKETBALL!!!! THANK YOU COACH!!

Speaking of the Radiothon. Cheyenne is scheduled to be on the Radiothon from 4pm to 7pm tomorrow in the San Angelo mall. It is being broadcast on KIXY 94.7 FM. So if you are free, come on by, I am sure Cheyenne would love to see you.

If you can't come by and you want to donate, the Radiothon is going from 6am to 7 pm tomorrow and the phone numbers to donate are 1-866-657-8385 or 325-657-8385.

Thank you for all your prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, August 19, 2004 7:46 PM CDT

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THE FOLLOWING IS A NONPAID, NONPOLITICAL, ADVERTISEMENT

(!!FOR AN EXTREMELY GOOD CAUSE!!)

As some of you may know, today was the first day of the Children’s Miracle Network Radiothon, being broadcast over KIXY 94.7 FM, here in San Angelo. Cheyenne, being one of the Miracle kids, is scheduled to be at the Radiothon on Saturday, 8/21/04 from 4pm to 7pm at the San Angelo Mall. Shannon Hospital, where Cheyenne now receives her treatment, is a member of the Children's Miracle Network.

I can’t say enough great things about Shannon Hospital, the staff at Shannon, or the Children’s Miracle Network. Cheyenne is literally treated like a princess while undergoing her treatment there. As tough as the treatment is on her little body, she smiles and laughs through it, thanks largely in part to the equipment, services, and activities while undergoing the treatment, all made possible by the Children’s Miracle Network.

Soooo (the punch line), if you happen to have an extra $20 (or more) laying around, this is an extremely good cause. I know that Cheyenne and the many, many other children being treated at Shannon would greatly appreciate it. AND, if you are not busy on Saturday, I am sure Miss Cheyenne would just love to see you at the radiothon. In the interim, you can tune the kids in at 94.7 FM.

Pledges for the Network can be made at 1-866-657-8385 or 325-657-8385.

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Today was another GREAT day for Cheyenne. I don't understand it, but she still loves school!!!!! Even with the Homework!!!

Cheyenne appears to improve each day lately. It makes a certain Dad I know smile! Her only complaint for the day was that her feet hurt. That we can live with!!

The bad news is that another round of chemo starts Monday. YUKKKK!! The first day of treatment will be at Dr Estrada's office in San Antonio following her exam. Then it will be a quick trip back to San Angelo to make the arrangements for the remainder of the 2 week treatment to be taken here.

This afternoon, Cheyenne's sister Diana made it a point to ride to school with me to pick up Cheyenne. Diana wanted to surprise her and walk in to get her and carry her books. It made Cheyenne smile!

Tonight I promised Donna and Cheyenne that I would have a wonderful meal for them when they came home. Of course when I made this promise, I knew something that they didn't. One of our friends, Marla Cummings, had offered to bring over a complete meal this evening. And I mean complete! Thank you Marla and Paul, it was fantastic. Although I don't think I got any brownie points for it. Go figure???

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. In case you haven't heard yet, Ryan's scans came back STABLE!! Never a doubt in my mind! WAY TO GO RYAN!! THANK YOU GOD for answering yet another of our many, many prayers.

Thank you and God Bless you all,

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, August 18, 2004 6:49 PM CDT

UPDATE Thursday 8/19/04

In the earlier post I failed to mention the Children’s Miracle Network Radiothon fundraiser that started today. Cheyenne, being one of the Miracle kids, will be at the Radiothon on Saturday, 8/21/04 from 4pm to 7pm at the San Angelo Mall. This Radiothon, sponsored by KIXY 94.7 FM, is being held over the next 3 days to raise funds for the Network at Shannon Hospital Children’s Unit.

I can’t say enough great things about Shannon, the staff at Shannon, or the Children’s Miracle Network. Cheyenne is literally treated like a princess while undergoing her treatment there. As tough as the treatment is on her little body, she smiles and laughs through it, thanks largely in part to the equipment, services, and activities while undergoing the treatment, all made possible by the Children’s Miracle Network.

Soooo (the punch line), if you happen to have an extra $20 (or more) laying around, this is an extremely good cause. I know that Cheyenne and the many, many other children being treated at Shannon would greatly appreciate it. AND, if you are not busy on Saturday, I am sure Miss Cheyenne would just love to see you at the radiothon. In the interim, you can tune the kids in at 94.7 FM.

Pledges for the Network can be made at 1-866-657-8385 or 325-657-8385.
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Today was a WONDERFUL day in school for Cheyenne. She didn't use her wheelchair at all, and had no problems what so ever. Cheyenne even told me today that she plans to start riding the bus home from school.

Cheyenne felt even better today than yesterday. The dizziness is almost gone, she is more active and less tired. Her eye and face even appears to have improved a little over the past day or so. But most importantly, she is happy and enjoying life.

Tonight she had homework, and the amazing thing was that she voluntarily finished it BEFORE mom came home from work. That's a first. Normally she tries to put it off as long as she can.

This evening she is attending a church function and probably having a blast.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Cheyenne knows that you care and she is in awe of all the wonderful people praying for her.

Our friend Ryan is scheduled to get the results of his MRI tomorrow and I am sure his parents are going through the MRI jitters, so they could all use a few prayers. Also remember our friends Lakota and Michaela in your prayers tonight. And the BIG NEWS, TODAY IS KODY'S BIRTHDAY!! Praise be to GOD for this wonderful day and we are praying for many, many more!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KODY!!!!

Thank you again, and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, August 17, 2004 9:26 PM CDT

Hey
This is Cheyenne. I just wanted to say hi. Oh yeah and don't forget to visit the other sites. There's kids who need your prayers even if they're healthy right now. These kids are amazing and it's so neat reading their sites and then signing them letting them know that you are praying. thanx\

So today, of course, I went to school. It was fun. I still have no homework!!! But I know we have a lab test next week.

I am now officially on the drums instead of the baratone (the 2 biggest instruments) in the band. Oh I totally forgot that I am doing athletics. You're probable saying !WHAT?????? But I am. I am either a manager or a stats with FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight we went to a back to school picnic. You had to bring food (chicken). Also there were raffle tickets that were 3 for a dollar, so I bought 3 dollars worth. There was this unlucky (so everyone says) guy, he had about 20 tickets. He won it. Free season football tickets. I didn't stay much longer. I didn't know there were more prizes. But luckly I get in free to the games anyway, if I'm a manager or do stats. Sad part is my parents do not.

I forgot to tell you we had my first assignment in school. It was cool. It's about careers and by one of the coolest teachers in the world. MRS.LUCE.

Ok that's today. Thanx for the prayers for me and others. See you soon or I'll write again. thanx
Cheyenne
now its time to go to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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So here it is, 1010pm and Miss Cheyenne is still up and WRITING her journal. All her thoughts and words.

I guess that about wraps up her day. She went to school and LOVED it. She went to the back to school picnic, and LOVED it.

And, just how AWESOME is the fact that she is going to be in Athletics. One of the Football Managers or keeping Stats for the team. Her sister, Diana, was one of the first girls ever to keep stats for the football team, and she even LETTERED in Football for doing it!!

BUT, TODAY'S BIGGEST NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When Cheyenne got home from school today I noticed that she looked MUCH better than she has in weeks. Then when she got out of the truck to go in the house, it was not that drunken stagger that we are used to seeing. That's right, our little pumpkin is MUCH, MUCH, MUCH BETTER today. As a matter of fact, watching her tonight, she has not been this well since June 28th, the day her port was installed. Most (not all, YET) of the dizziness is gone and she is getting her legs back under her.

Tonight at the back to school picnic, she didn't even take her wheelchair. At one point I actually saw her RUNNING to catch up to a friend. WOW!!!! Now just how AWESOME is that????

Now Cheyenne says that she is not taking her wheelchair to school tomorrow, she can handle it by herself!!!! (Although I did talk her into letting me take it and leave it in the office, JUST IN CASE).

PRAYERS are AWESOME!! THANK YOU GOD!!!

Cheyenne still has a long way to go, but she is ON HER WAY!!!!!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. As you can see, we are firm believers in the power of prayer, and we could never have gotten this far without the thousands of prayers. THANK YOU!

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne and Cheyenne's dad

Monday, August 16, 2004 8:26 PM CDT

The day started today with the entire family up bright and early, ready to see Cheyenne off to her first day of school in the 7th grade.

Of course Cheyenne and Dad got an early start to school (it is about a 16 mile drive) and arrived well before the bell. After helping Cheyenne into her wheelchair, we entered the school. WOW! Kids everywhere! After dear old worrisome dad made a point of confirming that the school had ALL my and Donna's contact numbers, including cell phones, I reluctantly left Cheyenne with the masses of children.

I had a few errands to run in town, and while there I checked my cell phone for a missed call about every 20 minutes. Ha!! After getting home, of course I checked the answering machine, caller ID. NO CALL FROM CHEYENNE OR THE SCHOOL!!

Finally 2:30 FINALLY came (I thought school let out at 3:20). I figured that 2:30 was close enough, I would wait in the parking lot, and left.

As I drove up to the school I met the buses leaving???? Well, good thing I was early, school lets out this year at 3:00, not 3:20!

There was Miss Cheyenne, sitting there waiting for me with a big smile on her face.

School was WONDERFUL!!!! The teachers were WONDERFUL!!!! The kids were WONDERFUL!!!!

All that gray hair for nothing!!

Cheyenne hasn't slowed down yet. Going through all the rules and guidelines, looking for all the right school supplies (Green folders? Green folders? We have every color but GREEN!!)

She is one happy girl tonight, singing, humming, and all ready for school tomorrow.

Oh, one item I forgot to mention yesterday. One of Cheyenne's biggest worries was her inability to write well. Since the chemo, her handwriting really went to pot! Well, yesterday while sitting in church, doodling on a piece of paper, her beautiful handwriting just CAME BACK!! Hopefully it will stay around awhile.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children (and me last night).

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, August 15, 2004 8:31 PM CDT

SCHOOL IS TOMORROW!!

Cheyenne is soooo excited and I am scared to death! Ha. I dream of all the bad things that can happen and Cheyenne just dreams of all her friends and teachers and having FUN!!

This morning was just a normal Sunday morning for the Fiveash family. Church followed by a family lunch afterwards.

This evening there was a Back to School Bash at the Christoval Baptist Church. Of course Cheyenne wanted to go. The kids had lots of food and fun. There was a major water ballon fight, water gun fight, and tug of war through a huge mud pit. Cheyenne didn't participate in any of the physical activities, but had loads of fun just watching. Also one of her best friends in the world, Shasta, was there. Sweet Shasta, rather than participate in the activities, she stayed with Cheyenne, talking, laughing, and having fun. She is a very special young lady.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please pray for Donna and I as well tomorrow as Cheyenne starts school. I know that I am STRESSED.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, August 14, 2004 9:08 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a pretty good day today. There were problems that kept her housebound most of the day, but by late in the evening, thanks to a quick trip into town to a drug store, Cheyenne is much better.

Cheyenne would rather that I not get into details, but the chemo combination that she takes interferes with some normal bodily functions. Since we started this combo, there has been nothing "normal" about them.

One interesting point, Miss Dr Cheyenne informed us that the left side of her face that was numb due to the paralysis, now has a minor pain or ache in it. She is convinced that her feeling on that side of her face is gradually coming back. After last treatment, she could feel some things, but says that most of it was still numb. We have noticed that her left eye looks 100 percent better today than it did a few days ago.

She is still fighting the dizziness and the weakness in her legs, feet, arms, hands and neck. Hopefully it will subside a litte over the next week. Also besides the weakness, the Vincristine causes her hands to shake, effecting her handwriting or doing certain tasks. We can tell that she gets really frustrated trying to do things. I guess her stress level is a little higher than normal lately, but then I can understand stress levels.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. If you would, also join me in prayers for the residents affected by Hurricane Charlie and our Armed Forces stationed worldwide.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, August 13, 2004 10:17 PM CDT

Sorry for all the late posts. Tonight I was going through checking on some of our friends on caringbridge and saw the time, so decided that I had better get to Chey's journal first.

Today was a MAJOR improvement over yesterday for little ole Miss Cheyenne. She felt GREAT today. She did take a couple of Zofran's (mostly preventative at the first hint of nausea) and fortunately, they did their job beautifully.

Tonight Cheyenne is extremely talkative, laughing, and having a blast. I just love days like today. Some dizziness is still there as is some of the peripheral neuropathy. But she feels GREAT. With the amount of dizziness and leg weakness that she had today, she is able to get around the house without help and outside the house with one of us holding her hand or in the wheelchair. Hopefully this will also get better.

School starts Monday and she is REALLY looking forward to it. She is going to take her wheelchair to get around the campus, but she is ok with it. I would much rather her do this than risk falling from the dizziness or weak legs.

Thank you for checking on Cheyenne and for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. We couldn't do this without you!!!! Please remember all those in the hurricane's path tonight and tomorrow. As a matter of fact, many of our caringbridge friends live right in Charlie's path.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:57 PM CDT

Tonight's journal is courtesy of Miss Cheyenne and Dad. Yep, it is 11pm and Cheyenne is sitting here with me helping write the journal. (Also Cinnamon is helping!)

Today was quite an improvement over yesterday. Cheyenne felt good most of the day and we had a lot of fun crafting. Of course, she isn't 100 percent, probably not even 50 percent, but she is better than yesterday. Hopefully her improvement will speed up a little as she only has a little over a week before the next round of chemo.

This evening Coach Slate, Christene, Christopher and his family, and Les and Cody all came over for a visit and to cheer ole Miss Cheyenne up. They brought Chili dogs from Wienerschnizel, one of Cheyenne's favorite foods. Yummm!

Tonight Cheyenne and I decided that we have the most wonderful family and friends in the world. Love never ending. That's us.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other Children. God Bless you all.

Oh, before we are off to bed, Cheyenne says, "That's all Folks, Good Night!"

Cheyenne and Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, August 11, 2004 8:17 PM CDT

Today was definately an improvement over the past 2 days for Cheyenne. Not a great improvement, but an improvement none the less.

The most important improvement was that Cheyenne felt pretty good today. A little bit of her sense of humor returned, as did her appetite. Her dizziness and weakness subsided a little, but there is still a long way to go.

Cheyenne spent the day today doing crafts, painting little wooden odds and ends. She is quite the artist. Right now the chemo makes doing crafts pretty hard since it causes weakness in her hands as well as causes them to shake. But she really enjoys it and they are really special and beautiful when she finishes them.

Only 6 more days until school starts for Miss Cheyenne. Boy is she looking forward to school. Seeing all her friends and teachers. I bet she forgot all about the homework! Ha. I know that I didn't!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are an awesome power. Cheyenne has had me jumping over the past few days, and I have not had an opportunity to visit many of our caringbridge friends, but as she feels better, I will hopefully have a little more time. Thank you and God Bless you all..

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, August 10, 2004 8:39 PM CDT

Today wasn't a much better day for Cheyenne. In certain ways she felt better, but other things seemed a little worse. She battled nausea and intestinal problems all day. Finally the zofran took effect and at least the nausea tapered off. Her muscles have been really weak the last two days, not one side or the other, but all her muscles. It makes it difficult to even move around the house, much less get out and do anything. Then add to the weakness her dizziness and it does not make for a good time.

I spent quite awhile back online today verifing and researching side effects of her chemo. Both cause something called peripheral neuropathy, which bascially, results in weak muscles, incoordination, dizziness, and difficulty walking as well as a thousand other symptoms (all of which are similar to the tumor). If Cheyenne doesn't improve later in the week we may be speaking to her Dr about the symptoms and even a possible MRI.

Most of the afternoon was spent loving a little yellow kitten in front of the TV. Of course this was one of her chores that she wants to do, make this little kitty sweet.

Speaking of chores and the money she makes from them, yesterday the proud Mother, Cheyenne, received the photo of the child that she is "adopting" through the Christian Children's Fund. She is a little 5 year old girl named Lemlem from Ethiopia. Cheyenne's eyes just sparkled as she was reading the information on this little girl.

Also I need to mention, the last two days Donna has received a package in the mail with no return address. Both packages were paintings that Cheyenne painted for the Quilting Angels fundraiser. Apparently "Chinahunk" purchased them through Ebay, and sent them anonymously to Donna. OK Chinahunk, we think we know who you are!!!!!! Thank you.

Cheyenne just came and sat on my lap, I believe a sign that I have been on the computer long enough.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. (typed with one hand with my little sunshine on my lap.)

God bless,

Cheyenne's Dad

Monday, August 9, 2004 9:20 PM CDT

Another sweet little girl, Hanna, went to be with the Lord last night. There are so many.

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At this point in her last 2 week chemo treatment, Cheyenne had her worse day so far. Today probably equaled that day. I guess the 2 weeks of chemo catches up to her little body on the first monday of the 2 week break. It basically affects everything, making her pretty miserable. Last time is also no different than this, it brings back the reality of this horrible tumor that she is fighting. Last time Donna just kept reminding me to keep the faith, and the following day Cheyenne was 100 times better.

Today was another one of those really low key days. I pray that tomorrow is much better and the better days keep coming.

Cheyenne was able to beat me today in every video game that we played. I just can't figure out how she can move her little fingers on all those buttons at the same time.

School starts in 1 week and Cheyenne is so anxious to go. We have done her back to school shopping which makes her a happy little girl. She just loves to shop.

Also recently for those mall and Walmart excursions, a friend arranged for a wheelchair for Cheyenne. She no longer has to ride in the shopping cart when she shops. This was a big step for Donna and I, but Cheyenne just took it in stride. Hopefully the dizziness will subside and the wheelchair won't get a lot of use.

Thank you for all the prayers and encouragement for Cheyenne and the other children. We are still taking it one day at a time with faith in the Lord.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, August 8, 2004 7:47 PM CDT

Today was not one of Cheyenne's best feeling days. You could see it in her face and eyes, she just did not feel good.

This morning Cheyenne did not make it to Sunday School, but we were able to attend church.

Since then we have just hung out at home, having a non-stressful activity day. Mostly, Cheyenne has spent her afternoon and evening watching television, making thank you cards, and going through her scrapbook materials.

Hopefully tomorrow or the next day we will get into the better feeling days.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. This is an extremely hard and emotional journey, and we could not make it without all of you.

Thank you and God Bless all of you.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, August 7, 2004 9:49 PM CDT

Today wasn't a Great day for Cheyenne, but we still had a fun not too stressful day. The chemo still has her pretty well knocked down. Cheyenne still wants to go, go, go, but we can look at her eyes and know that she isn't ready to be that active yet. Hopefully in a couple more days. The last few days of the 2 week chemo cycle are definately the worse, no question about it. But as long as we keep her slowed down and inside, we still have lots of fun, giggles, and laughs.

This afternoon Cheyenne was completely bored to death from hanging around the house, so we jumped in the car and took her to the movies. We saw "The Village" at her choosing. Not bad, I guess!

This evening, as a treat, I loaded Cheyenne up on the 4 wheeler and took a little spin around the place. A front had come through and cooled the weather off, so it was a fun ride. Hopefully, as she starts feeling a little better later this week, we will get in a few more rides.

Thank you for all the continued prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. There are a few of Cheyenne's friends that could use a little support and prayers over the next few days: Sweet little LaKota, still battling the intestinal problems; Craig with a swollen lymphnode; David, getting his port installed on the 16th; Connor as they await Doctors decisions on the next step; Little Fisher bug, awaiting his latest MRI results; Michaela as she is at home; Little Hanna who suffered a bleed a few days ago. Also, Cheyenne's caringbridge sister Emerald, who by the way, has had a couple of GREAT days. Both the last entries brought a big smile to my face. Thank you God for answering my prayers for Emerald, and please continue the healing for these wonderful children. AMEN

Thank you and God Bless all of you

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, August 6, 2004 10:04 PM CDT

TWO WEEK BREAK FROM CHEMO!!

This morning was Cheyenne's last chemo this round, so now it is on to the 2 week break. Today wasn't a great day for Cheyenne, but as long as we kept her under wraps and not too active, she felt pretty good. Hopefully now that the break is starting, she will begin feeling a little better each day and will have a few of those GREAT days coming up.

Today at Shannon Hospital, KIXY radio came in and conducted an interview of Miss Popular Cheyenne. KIXY takes the recorded interview, and somehow puts the sound bytes to music, and will use it for the upcoming Children's Miracle Network Radiothon. Also, Cheyenne is scheduled to be on the radiothon on the 21st of this month, from 4pm to 7pm. Of course it starts a few days earlier, so I am sure Cheyenne will make a few trips there prior to meet the other children and see how everything works.

During the interview she was asked what she thought about the Shannon Children's Center. She smiled really big and said, "It's like a 5 star hotel, I love it". She also did a little bragging on their video game units. HA, Before long, she may be a paid spokesperson for Shannon!!!!! She reallllly likes that place.

Earlier tonight, before Cheyenne went to bed, we lit a candle for Celeste and said prayers. Celeste touched sooo many people while here on earth. Now she is reaping her reward, forever in Heaven, perfect!

Cheyenne has lost so many friends to this one beast of a tumor. Just to mention a few, Nolan; Maddie; Celeste; Julia; Marissa Faith; Isaac; Katherine; Corrina; Jake; McKenzie; Caitlin; Zach; Ashley; Savannah; Larissa; Rawan; Taylor. There are more, and then lots more friends from other childhood cancers. This has to stop someday. There has to be a cure or prevention.

Please join me tonight praying for Tami, Jer, Ella and Grant, and Mel, Gary and Lucas and all the other familes that are without their loved ones tonight.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, August 5, 2004 8:22 PM CDT

Today was a little bit of a downer day for Cheyenne. Most of the symptoms that she has been experiencing with this chemo came back pretty hard today. After chemo she was extremely dizzy for the rest of the day, and just did not feel well at all. Also, after she ate lunch, she lost her appetite the rest of the day. But, on a positive note, we believe that she did much better this 2 week round than the last, having less bad feeling days.

I did convince her to go swimming this afternoon as well as ride with me on the 4 wheeler, but the smiles and giggles just weren't the same.

The other day I mentioned how awesome the staff and hospital is at the Shannon Children's Unit. Today we met some of the Administrative staff at the hospital. I have to say, I am impressed with them as well. What really impresses me the most, is that I had no idea that the hospital offered these particular services, so we didn't ask to speak to them, they came to us.

We also found out today that Shannon Hospital is part of the Children's Miracle Network. They do so much for their pediatric patients and families. As a matter of fact, the Nintendo Fun Center that Cheyenne plays during her infusion is one of 4 purchased by the local Network through donations. The four units that they currently have, are all dedicated to the loving memory of Zachary Knightstep, a former patient at Shannon and the grandchild of a nurse at the hospital.

Cheyenne actually looks forward to going in each day for chemo now!!

Tomorrow night from 9pm to midnight, the Youngs are having a candlelight vigil in memory of their beautiful Celeste. Cary, Sofie's mom, has offered to light a candle for Cheyenne there at the vigil, and we will be doing the same here at home for our little hero and caringbridge sister.

I understand that Cary is collecting names and locations of people that are participating in the vigil at home so it can be forwarded to Tami and Jer. This way they will know how many people across the world have been touched by their little Celeste.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers do work.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, August 4, 2004 8:45 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a really good day today, feeling better than she has in days. This was a pleasant surpise, as being in the 2nd week of her chemo, we expected her to be feeling pretty bad by today and even worse as the treatment continued this week.

We had lots and lots of fun and laughs today. During chemo she beat the pants off her old man in the video games that we played. I thought that I had her, winning the first three games. She she got that wacky smile that she gets, and won the next 15 games or so. Earlier she was just playing with me letting me win!!!! After each win poking me in the ribs with her finger and laughing at me.

Also during chemo Buddy and Julie Luce stopped by the room. Julie, who will have Cheyenne in one of her morning classes this year at Christoval ISD, made Cheyenne some beautiful bandanas to wear and a beautiful pillow case to take with her to chemo. The bandanas are ALL CHEYENNE! One with basketballs, one with motorcycles, and one with pennants with the words Hope, Courage, Miracle, Dream, Fight, etc on them. Of course the basketball one is her favorite, but she has been picking them up and admiring them all evening.

Cheyenne again today touched my heart. After chemo we were lounging around the house watching television. One of those commercials came on about sponsoring a child in an underdeveloped country. Cheyenne wrote the telephone number down and told me that she wanted to sponsor a child. She said that she would work around the house to earn the money and pay for it herself. After getting my permission, she was one proud little girl when she called the Organization to pledge money. Afterwards I noticed her on the computer writing a list. It turned out to be a list of things that she was promising to do around the house for her allowance. I won't go into a lot of detail on her list, but some of the things that she promised to do: Scrub the toliets; Dust; vaccum; mop; wash dishes; Give Cinnamon a bath each week; Sweeten the kitty (we have a little kitten that we are making gentle) so on and so on!! It was quite an impressive list for her asking price of $7 a week. Of course she did add a little notation on the bottom that said we could pay her more if we wanted to! Ha. She figures the angles!

This evening our grandchildren Bryce and Alyssa are over and Cheyenne has been busy, busy, busy. Swimming, board games, movies, video games, etc..

ONLY TWO MORE DAYS OF CHEMO BEFORE A 2 WEEK BREAK!!!!!!

ONLY A WEEK AND 1/2 BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS!!!!!!!!

Thank you for checking on our little girl Cheyenne tonight. The prayers and encouragement that we receive are working miracles in our little girl and in our lives. Thank you all so much. Please remember Celeste's and Isaac's families in your prayers tonight. I cannot imagine the horrible pain that they are suffering without their little loved ones. Also I just learned that little Hanna experienced a bleed over the weekend, and needs urgent prayers. Thank you.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, August 3, 2004 8:48 PM CDT

We lost two really special little girls over the past 2 days. Celeste and Alex. The world was a better place with them here with us.

I did not know how I would tell Cheyenne today about Celeste, as she thinks of her as her little sister. During chemo, the converstation turned to Celeste, as it does frequently, and I found the right moment to break the news. Of course there were tears followed by tight hugs.

Cheyenne was so close to Maddie and Celeste, knowing how much they had in common, and it actually seemed like they were next door neighbors, best friends, and sisters.

Also little Alex Scott went to heaven yesterday. For those that did not know Alex, she was the brave little girl that in 2000, started selling lemonade on the side of the road to raise money for Pediatric Cancer Research. Through donations and lemonade sales, she raised more than $700,000 just this year alone. One of her web sites is http://www.alexslemonade.com/ .

Thank you for all the continuing prayers and support for Cheyenne and all the other children.

God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, August 2, 2004 8:24 PM CDT

For those that do not know, we lost little Celeste last night. We have not told Cheyenne yet, and at this point do not know exactly when we will. Cheyenne loved Celeste with all her heart and this is going to be really rough on her. If you get a chance, please offer a prayer for Tami, Jer, Grant and Cheyenne upon Celeste being called home. Thank you.

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Cheyenne's caringbridge little sister, Celeste, is not doing very well today, and is in desperate need of prayers for a miracle. Please join us in prayers for this beautiful little girl and her wonderful family. We have become extremely close to them over the past year.

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Today was Cheyenne's first chemotherapy treatment in San Angelo. Of course it was a very long day due to being the first day, and all the registration, orders faxed from San Antonio, etc. We arrived there at around 9am and finally left a little before 4pm.

For those that have never been to the Shannon Pediatric Unit, just one word. WOW! It is like checking into a 5 star hotel. The facilities and staff are out of this world.

During the treatment Cheyenne is in a beautiful private room, with television, VCR, DVD player, everything. They fluffed her pillow, cranked up her bed and made her comfortable. Then they rolled in brand new "Star Light Foundation Fun Center". It is a completely self contained mobile Game Cube and DVD player with a big flat screen. I understand the unit has several of them for the children, this one donated in memory of Zachary Ray Knightstep, through the Children's Miracle Network and the Star Light Foundation.

You should have seen my little girl. She was sooooo happy with the room and all the amenities, she was dancing that silly little dance that she does. Not just once, but over and over again, evertime she discovered something new. Then in the middle of the infusion they brought in lunch for Cheyenne and one parent. She ate EVERY BITE! Now considering how sick she normally gets during infusion, this was something else. Needless to say, Cheyenne loves being treated at Shannon Hospital. But, I believe I heard my pocketbook and Blue Cross moan a little during treatment.

The treatment here is a little different than San Antonio. In San Antonio the entire appointment would last about 1 1/2 hours. I believe here, after getting all the bugs worked out, it will be 3 1/2 to 4 hours.

Cheyenne felt just Great today, no nausea or sickness at all. Of course, during the 2 week chemo treatment, her facial paralysis and balance is a little worse, but she did not let it bother her today.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, August 1, 2004 8:33 PM CDT

Today was kind of a mixed day for Cheyenne. The day started off with a Vincristine side effect related problem, so we were not able to attend Sunday School or church this morning. After taking some medication precribed by Dr Estrada, that side effect was temporarily resolved, but then at around 11, the nausea hit. After a trip to the bathroom, and a Zofran, that was pretty well taken care of and she felt pretty good the rest of the day.

Being in the middle of this chemo round, it is pretty tough on our little pumpkin. Her facial paralysis gets worse as does her balance during chemo. And she gets tired really easily. Also the heat really affects her, so probably the heat in the gym last night was a little too much as well.

She did have a little fun this afternoon. THANK YOU LES!!!! Les Perez called this morning and during the conversation, of which Cheyenne could hear, Les asked if Cheyenne was still going to shave my head. I told her no, that Cheyenne had changed her mind and decided that she didn't want to do it. After the conversation, I hung up and looked over at Cheyenne, who had a devilish little smile on her face. THANK YOU LES!!!!! It seems that on second thought, Cheyenne changed her mind and thought it would be cool to have a bald dad. THANK YOU LES!!!

Sooooo, thanks to some help from Mom, Cheyenne put me in a chair and proceeded to wack off my hair. Now, not all of it, mind you, just PART of it. THANK YOU LES!!! Cheyenne now has a cool dad with a short Mohawk hair cut! Then to make matters worse, she went into the house and came out with a red hair dye. YEP (THANK YOU LES!!!), A RED MOHAWK!!!

I believe mom was quick to post photos for those that want to see my humiliation!!

One thing I did do, though, was quickly wash out the red dye after the photo shoot. Now though, Miss Cheyenne tells me that I can't cut the mohawk off, she likes it the way that it is. So, if you see me around town, and I am wearing a hat, just ignore me, PLEASE!

Then the fun continued. Cheyenne cut Christopher's hair, almost as short. But that isn't fair, he is in the Air Force and wears real short hair anyway!!!

Before long, as word spread, Leslie, Maddie, and McKayla came over, then Les and Richard with Cody, Jake, Rebecca, Christene, and Hanna. Cody was the brave one that sat in the chair next. DOWN TO THE SCALP!! Hey what is this, I get a mohawk and everybody else gets a SHORT haircut??

After everyone got a good laugh out of poor ole me, and a belated birthday celebration for Rebecca (HAPPY BIRTHDAY REBECCA!!!) everyone was off.

As I type, Cheyenne is lounging in the chair, not feeling real well. On top of everything else, we noticed that her eye on the left side of her face was watering really bad, bloodshot, and appeared bruised. She thinks that she accidentally poked something in her eye playing with the kids, but isn't sure. We are trying some eye drops and a patch to see if it looks better later.

Tomorrow Cheyenne is scheduled to begin week 2 of this chemo. I pray that it is a little better than last. Our little girl needs a break.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support for Cheyenne and the rest of the family. I really can't explain how important it is or how much it means to us. It keeps us going day to day. Also, please remember our very good friends; Celeste, who did not have a real good last 2 days; LaKota, Emerald, Connor, and all the other children that we have become so close to. Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, July 31, 2004 11:18 PM CDT

Today was one of those "FULL" days for Cheyenne.

We met with Dr Herbert this morning and tentatively set everything up for Monday morning. Of course it will take a while to get everthing running smooth, but as it stands we are scheduled to be at Shannon Children's Clinic at 9am monday.

Immediately following the Dr appointment, Cheyenne wanted to go by the Karate Tournament in town that was being held by her old school, the San Angelo Martial Arts Academy. We wound up staying, visiting, and watching until around 1pm. Cheyenne was able to visit with many, many friends.

Upon arriving home, one of Cheyenne's very, very good friends, Rita Fava called. They were just a few blocks from the house and were enroute over. Rita and Cheyenne have been best friends forever, and Rita moved a couple of years ago. It was sooooo wonderful to see them again. Rita and Cheyenne did a lot of catching up. Rita is such a special young lady.

Rita and Cheyenne decided that they should both go to the Kickboxing Tournament tonight, being held immediately after the Karate Tournament. Rita and Cheyenne not only were best friends in school, but also attended the San Angelo Martial Arts Academy together.

Soooo, after calling James to see if he wanted to go, it was off to the Kickboxing Tournament. Several of Cheyenne's friends were still there and she was able to see Mac Porter fight the last fight of the night. Mac is one of the most awesome Karate and Kickboxing students I have ever met. Of course Mac did wonderful and won his event.

Finally at around 1015 the Tournament was over and it was time to head home after a full day on the go.

Cheyenne had lots of fun and visited with lots of friends today. She is one pooped little girl tonight, so she will probably sleep pretty well. It was extremely hot in the gym today, and the heat and chemo do not do well together. Hopefully tomorrow we can keep Cheyenne semi-slowed down where she can get some much needed rest.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember to say an extra prayer for Celeste; Michaela as she is home with her loved ones; Emerald as she also experiences balance problems due to medication; Connor who experienced tumor growth and Hanna having some difficulties. And little LaKota, who has been through so very much lately; Also please pray for Gary, Mel, and Lucas as they wake up each morning without their precious Isaac.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, July 30, 2004 8:56 PM CDT

Cheyenne, Cinnamon, Mom and Dad all made it HOME!!!!!

Cheyenne and Cinnamon were jumping up and down in the car, so happy to be home.

It took just about an hour before Cheyenne was in the pool, splashing, laughing, and having fun. She did not get to swim at all while in San Antonio. A fish out of water!!!!

Cheyenne felt pretty good today, but that is considering the fact that today was day 5 of this round of chemo. We have to gauge how she feels according to where she is in her chemo treatment. We hope for tomorrow to be a really good day.

The Claw Machines owners of Texas are a little poorer after our trip from San Antonio home today. It seems that everywhere we stopped there was a claw machine. As Cheyenne put it to a lady that saw her cleaning out one in Bourne, Tx today, "I am a claw machine freak."

For those that don't know, Cheyenne gives most of the stuffed animals she wins away to friends, here, on caringbridge, or to complete strangers. A real cute little girl in San Angelo was the recipient of one of them tonight. Cheyenne has such a big heart. I am learning a lot from this little girl.

We have our first appointment with Dr Herbert in San Angelo tomorrow at 9:15am. Following that appointment, we plan to attend the Martial Arts Academy Karate Tournament being held at Glenn Jr High Gym here in San Angelo. Cheyenne is really looking forward to see all of her friends from across the state that come to this tournament.

I have to go, Cheyenne is calling my name. It seems that she is ready to play a board game called "Rummikub". The Brown family from church found out that she did not have this game and were quick to send it to her. Thank you Sherri, Rodney and girls. Cheyenne is one board game nut!!!!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember to say an extra prayer for Celeste; Michaela as she is home with her loved ones; Emerald as she also experiences balance problems due to medication; Connor who experienced tumor growth and Hanna having some difficulties. And little LaKota, who has been through so very much lately; Also please pray for Gary, Mel, and Lucas as they wake up each morning without their precious Isaac.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, July 29, 2004 2:47 PM CDT

UPDATE 9PM

BOY, WHAT A NIGHT FOR AN OLD GUY! I AM TIRED.

Cheyenne picked the place to eat tonight. Would you believe, "Dave and Busters". We spent 3 hours there! So, 3 hours later, Miss Cheyenne had enough tickets to pick up a few prizes for herself, and of course, her sis and some friends. She absolutely, positively had a BLAST tonight. I haven't seen her smile that much in a while. On the way back to the room tonight, she was still all smiles, trying to figure out how she is sooooo lucky. Every game she played, she won. When she played the giant claw machine, there was only 1 prize that she wanted, a "Tweety Bird" basketball. Well, first try, she was the proud owner of a "Tweety Bird" Basketball.

Tomorrow we hope to hit the road on the way home in the early afternoon. Hope everyone has a Great night as we did. God Bless

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Thank you Caringbridge for fixing the Guest Book problem.

Since Cheyenne and I are here in the room waiting to pick mom up from work, I thought I would enter a short entry. I may update later today if I get a chance.

This morning was not off to a real good start, but Cheyenne feels well, and that is all that matters.

Upon arriving at the Dr's office, they were completely swamped with children, and they were also short staffed. Normally we get there at 10 am and are through in a little over an hour. Today we waited to see the Dr for over and hour and a half, then there were problems with the infusion machine, etc. We finally got out of there a little before 1pm.

But again, the good news is that Cheyenne is still doing pretty well. She is definately not as sick to her stomach as last time. As long as she is not moving around, she is singing, laughing, and having fun. It is the moving around that gets her.

It seems that Miss Dr Cheyenne has her own tests to see if the chemo is working. She tells us that it is. I won't get into the details, but one of them involves the gag reflex.

Of course for us parents it is still scary. During the 2 week treatment, the side effects of the chemo mimic the tumor and just get slowly worse until the break in chemo.

We were told today that everything is set up for the next week's treatment to be in San Angelo. Dr Estrada arranged for us to only have to come to San Antonio 1 day every 4 weeks. All other treatments will be done at the Shannon Hospital under the supervision of Dr Hurbert (spelling).

Thank you for checking on Cheyenne and for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, July 28, 2004 9:23 PM CDT

Thank you for checking on Cheyenne. I again apologize for the Guest Book problems. I have notified Caringbridge of the problem and I received an email saying that they have assigned a work ticket # and are working on it.

With the problem that currently exists, to sign Cheyenne's Guest Book you must first click on the Guest Book link, then page all the way down through the entries to the entry dated June 29 at 0:11am. Immediately following that entry is the link to sign the guest book.

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This morning Cheyenne woke up feeling really good and ready to go. Even after her chemo treatment she felt good. Since the Dr reduced the dosage of irinotecan, her nausea and body aches seem to stay away and her appetite is excellent. We just wish it was the same for her dizziness. Similar to the last treatment, Cheyenne's balance was off a little more today than yesterday.

Today was supposed to be a swim day for Cheyenne, but as luck would have it, the pool closed yesterday and didn't reopen until late today. Instead we spent the time playing games and watching movies on TV.

Tomorrow is already Thursday, which means ONLY TWO MORE DAYS OF CHEMO this week. Hopefully the 2 day break will give Cheyenne a break.

As of today her treatments in San Angelo are still not set in stone. Hopefully tomorrow we will get confirmation that everything is set.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember to say an extra prayer for Celeste as she fights this beast of a tumor; Michaela as she is home with her loved ones; Emerald as she also experiences balance problems due to medication; Connor as they get the news that there has been tumor growth; and Hanna having some difficulties. And little LaKota, who has been through so very much lately; Also please pray for Gary, Mel, and Lucas as they wake up each morning without their precious Isaac.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, July 27, 2004 2:00 PM CDT

Just a quick note to let everyone know that Cheyenne's site is apparently having a problem with the guest books. I know that several people have said that they are having a hard time getting into it. If you are able to get to the guestbook, the link to sign will be towards the bottom of the guestbook. I have contacted Caringbridge, so hopefully this will be fixed soon.

It appears as if one guestbook entry inadvertantly had code written in it which is causing all the current guestbook entries as well as the top of the GuestBook Page to appear towards the bottom of the entries, rather than at the top.(If this makes any sense at all)

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UPDATE 10PM 7/27/04

Just a real quick update to let everyone know that after a short nap, Cheyenne woke up full of spunk and feeling great. She felt so good she ate enough for 2 people at supper and we just got in from "School Clothes Shopping". Target will have to re-stock after this shopping adventure!!!!

Tomorrow we are going to try another over the counter motion sickness medication to see if it has any effect. If it was not for the dizziness, she would be FANTASTIC. I guess she just needs a couple of hours after chemo for her body to get adjusted to it.

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2pm 7/27/04

Cheyenne continues to take the chemo like the champ that she is. It didn't hit her as hard today, but still hard enough.

The medication we tried yesterday to reduce her dizziness was an over the counter type, and did not seem to work. Since she had the infusion right after taking the medication, we really couldn't tell. The infusion makes her really dizzy for a couple of hours and then she was so beat, we just came back to the room and she fell asleep.

Dr Estrada reformulated her dosage and is talking about prescribing a medication that may work, if it does not get better.

Immediately after treatment in the mornings, Cheyenne looks pretty bad, kind of spaced out, dizzy, and not hungry. Today after treatment, she was still pretty spaced out, but she asked for Chik Filet and ate the entire meal. She is currently taking a nap with her Cinnamon. We brought Cinnamon with us on this trip to keep her company, as those two love each other sooo much. Yesterday during the chemo treatment we actually smuggled Cinnamon into the room with her. It helped Chey quite a bit to have her loving puppy on her lap. And smuggled is a rather harsh word, actually everyone in the clinic except the Dr knew about it.

Cheyenne's mom is working here in San Antonio this week. Her work was kind enough to send her here to train some of the San Antonio people while Cheyenne was being treated. This really helps out financially, as her office picks up the lodging and meal costs for Donna. Right now she is at work but after we pick her up, Cheyenne is planning on hitting the swimming pool. I think that will do her lots of good.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember to say an extra prayer for the following children over the next few days: Celeste as she fights this beast of a tumor; Michaela as she is home with her loved ones; Emerald as she had to go in for a transfusion yesterday and will be having her counts taken today again; Connor as he has several scans this week and next; and Hanna having some difficulties. And little LaKota, who has been through so very much lately; Also please pray for Gary, Mel, and Lucas as they wake up each morning without their precious Isaac.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, July 26, 2004 8:48 PM CDT

Cheyenne and family made it to San Antonio safely. It was a beautiful West Texas day, raining on us all the way to San Antonio. I had the pleasure of loading and packing the car in the rain this morning, but I will probably dry out by tomorrow afternoon.

Cheyenne felt just completely wonderful this morning. She still had a little dizziness, but was singing and whistling all he way to San Antonio.

While taking her vitals we did learn that she lost almost 3 lbs in the past 3 weeks. But as sick as she was, it was not a surprise.

Cheyenne's Doctor slightly lowered her Irinotecan dosage to hopefully reduce some of the dizziness and other side effects. He also has us trying various motion sickness drugs to see if the dizziness will subside a little.

Cheyenne breezed through the chemo infusion, but about one hour later, was one sick little girl. Her dizziness gets many times worse, she loses her appetite and just feels baaaad. If this treatment is anything like the last, she will feel much better tomorrow morning, just in time for the next chemo infusion. Then it starts all over again. As long as she stays inside and does not walk alot, she feels pretty good. It is a good time for TV, movies, board games, scrapbooking, and drawing. Also Cheyenne seems to do much better when she swims. So tomorrow will hopefully be a swim day.

Cheyenne's big sis accompanied us here today, to be with Cheyenne today and tomorrow. She has to work Wednesday morning, so will be leaving tomorrow. She is one special Big Sister that loves her sister so very much.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember to say an extra prayer for the following children over the next few days: Celeste as she fights this beast of a tumor; Michaela as she is home with her loved ones; Emerald as she had to go in for a transfusion today; Connor as he has several scans this week and next; and Hanna having breathing difficulties. And little LaKota, who has been through so very much lately; Also please pray for Gary, Mel, and Lucas as they wake up each morning without their precious Isaac.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, July 25, 2004 9:20 PM CDT

I am sooooo tired from this busy weekend, and Cheyenne is still up and going and going and going and going......

Today was another one of those days where Cheyenne did not have a bad feeling time all day. The dizziness is still there, although I swear that it is not as bad the last 2 days. But of course, the chemo starts again tomorrow, so I am sure that will change.

Cheyenne had a wonderful time at church, as she always does. Following church and Sunday School, we all went to her brother Michael's house for a birthday party for Cheyenne's niece, Alyssa. There were lots of kids there and Cheyenne had a blast playing with the little kids.

Afterwards Christopher brought his family over to the house and Cheyenne played her heart out with her two little nieces. At one point even I had 3 dolls in my lap. Gosh those kids have energy.

Coach Slate, Christene and Hanna dropped over to make it a party. They had collected more scrapbooking material and supplies and wanted to get it to Cheyenne before we left tomorrow.

It was dolls, music, games, swinging, movies, and on and on for all the girls. Again, I don't know where these kids get their energy.

We are off to San Antonio in the early morning to begin the next 2 week chemo treatment. If we are lucky, we may have to only do the next week in San Antonio and afterwards have the treatments right here in San Angelo. We should know for sure within in the next couple of days.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember to say and extra prayer for the following children over the next few days: Celeste as she fights this beast of a tumor; Michaela as she is home with her loved ones; Emerald to become more mobile and meet some really good friends; Connor as he has several scans this week and next; and Hanna having breathing difficulties. And little LaKota, who has been through so very much lately; Also please pray for Gary, Mel, and Lucas as they begin life without their precious Isaac.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, July 24, 2004 6:57 PM CDT

Today Cheyenne just felt WONDERFUL all day long. She felt GREAT, had a GREAT time, and laughed and smiled throughout the day.

This morning after brushing her hair, Cheyenne had about 1/4 less hair than yesterday, and decided that today was the day. She had me take her into town and all the while saying, "Bald is Beautiful", marched right into the Pro Cuts, and said, "Cut it off". So now, our beautiful little girl is a beautiful little girl without hair. AND, by the way, she is tremendously beautiful without hair. She didn't have it shaved, but just a very close "buzz" haircut. At the rate it is going, it will probably be shiny bald within a few days. Yesterday she picked out several bandanas of various colors that she will be wearing out in public. Also she has a couple of the cutest handmade knit caps that were made by relatives and friends when she started losing her hair during radiation.

This afternoon her school class had a pre-school/good bye swim party for her class at the Mertzon Public Pool. They rented it for the afternoon so all the kids could get together before school started and to say good bye to a few that are moving. Cheyenne stayed in the water about 2 hours, with most of the time spent playing pool basketball with the boys.

Mrs Bouligny, James' mom, had quite a surprise for Cheyenne. She gave Cheyenne a handmade quilt with beautiful squares containing hearts. All of Cheyenne's friends and classmates wrote little personalized notes on each heart and signed it. The quilt is the perfect size to carry in the car or cuddle in during her chemo treatments. Cheyenne just absolutely, completely loves this quilt. It will be making all of our trips to chemo with us, keeping Cheyenne wrapped in the love of her friends and classmates. Hopefully mom will post a few photos in the next day or so of the party and the quilt. (For those friends that did not get a chance to sign it, we will make sure you get an opportunity.)

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Several children tonight are in need of extra prayer. Celeste as she fights this beast of a tumor; Michaela as she is home with her loved ones; Emerald to become more mobile and meet some really good friends; Connor as he has several scans this week and next; and Hanna having breathing difficulties. And little LaKota, who has been through so very much lately; Also please pray for Gary, Mel, and Lucas as they begin life without their precious Isaac.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, July 23, 2004 9:43 PM CDT

Last night, Isaac was called home to the Lord. Please remember his family in your prayers. Please remember all the families in the world that are suffering from all these horrible illnesses. Thank you

God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, July 22, 2004 7:34 PM CDT

Cheyenne had another fun filled and exciting day, feeling GREAT all day long.

This morning I insisted that Cheyenne just lay around the house resting, so she spent the morning watching her favorite shows on television (Current favorites are "Little House on the Prarie" and "JAG"). The best news of the day was Cheyenne's appetite. She woke up hungry, and ate very well again today. We have to make up for all the weight that she lost over the past 2 weeks!

All afternoon we attended the ASU Heart of Texas Basketball Camp and watched the competition. Cheyenne has several friends that were attending the camp, so it was an entire afternoon of lots of fun. I noticed that Cheyenne was again pretty free handing out the hugs after the camp was over. There are sure a lot of very nice people and children in this world!!

I am currently home by myself as Cheyenne, Mom and Sis stayed in town to do a little shopping for Cheyenne. Unfortunately, Cheyenne is now officially a "Hat or Cap" girl. She has lost so much hair from the chemo that she will not go out without something on her head. Right now she is really self concious about it, but she is one brave and strong little girl.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Several children tonight are in need of extra prayer. Celeste and Isaac as they fight this beast of a tumor; Michaela as she is released from the hospital with a horrible prognosis; Emerald to become more mobile and meet some really good friends; Connor as he has several scans this week and next; and Hanna having breathing difficulties. And little LaKota, who, after reading todays journal, I have to believe is the bravest and sweetest little girl in the world.

Also today I learned of a little 5 year old boy, Luke Richards, who was just diagnosed with cancer a few days ago. I understand that he and his family are still in Houston considering his treatment options and he and his family really need our prayers. I remember those first few days of being completely overwhelmed and living in a sleepless fog. I believe that his family may be starting a caringbridge site within the next few days.

Thank you and God Bless you,

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 9:21 PM CDT

Other than the dizziness, Cheyenne again had a very good feeling day. There was lots of fun, singing, and laughing going on around the house today.

This morning we were up early and off to the ASU Heart of Texas Basketball camp. Cheyenne didn't participate this morning, but just watched. She is still a little self concious and didn't want to get out with the girls. Now for those of you that are Julia Banana fans, this morning we found out that Coach Sally Brooks' sister, also coaching at the camp, was none other than the coach for the Pflugerville Lady Panthers. Of course I asked her if she had ever heard of the very famous, and honorary citizen of Pflugerville, Julianna Banana. Of course she had.. Now this is a small world.

After getting home from the camp, James came over and Cheyenne and James swam for OVER 3 hours. Then just as James left, Cheyenne's niece and nephew came over and Cheyenne jumped back in the pool for another hour.
By the time this evening came, Cheyenne was pretty pooped, and the more pooped she gets her balance is a little more affected. Hopefully someday she will listen to me about limiting her activities. But not today!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Your prayers have been and are still working miracles in Cheyenne and the other children! Several children tonight are in need of extra prayer. Celeste and Isaac as they fight this beast of a tumor; Michaela as she is released from the hospital with a horrible prognosis; Emerald to become more mobile and meet some really good friends; Connor as he fights his cancer with all his heart; and our beautiful friend little LaKota who has been experiencing nausea for almost 40 days; and Hanna having breathing difficulties.

Also sweet little Justyn making some wonderful strides in his recovery; Katia in the RMH rather than the hospital; and Christal's shunt now working perfectly. Thank you God!!

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, July 20, 2004 10:35 PM CDT

Cheyenne felt really good all day today and it was a very busy day as well.

Cheyenne did not want to attend basketball camp again this morning. Of course I have no way of knowing for sure, but it is most likely due to her being self concious about her face and balance. As long she is around just her good friends, those things don't bother her. But, understandably, when she gets around kids that she does not know, it is different. I hope to take her tomorrow even if it is to just sit and watch a while, and then thursday to watch the competition between the girls. But, it will still be her decision, I just think it would be good for her to go.

This afternoon, she went with James, John and their mom to the movies. Not just one, but two movies back to back. Cheyenne had a wonderful time and it was hard getting her to come home.

Yesterday Cheyenne received a package from Haley Vincent (her site is linked to Cheyenne's). Amoung other things was a CD with two songs written and sang by Haley. What an awesome voice that young lady has. And the words are terrific. I noticed a link on Haley's site to the songs, you should really check them out if you get the chance. Thanks Haley, you made Cheyenne's day. We listened to the CD about a hundred times and played one of the card games about 20 times.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Your prayers have been and are still working miracles in Cheyenne and the other children! Several children tonight are in need of extra prayer. Katia and Christal are both back in the hospital tonight; Mitch is running a high fever and not feeling well at all; Celeste and Isaac as they fight this beast of a tumor; Michaela as she is released from the hospital with a horrible prognosis; Emerald to become more mobile; Connor as he fights his cancer with all his heart; and our beautiful friend little LaKota.

Also sweet little Justyn is getting better each day (he is such a cutie)and Haley with a much better diagnosis than originally given. Our God is an Awesome God!!!

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, July 19, 2004 6:09 PM CDT

You will not believe how Cheyenne spent her morning!!!! Thanks to Cheyenne's Coach Slate and the ASU Rambelles head Coach Sally Brooks, Cheyenne attended the ASU Heart of Texas Basketball Camp. Cheyenne only stayed for the first 2 hours, but had lots of fun. Cheyenne absolutely loves basketball, and absolutely loves the ASU Rambelles. Of course with the dizziness that she experiences, there are several drills that she can't do, but she had a memory making fun filled morning. I am pretty confident that we will be back in the morning.

Following the basketball camp, she asked to stop and pick up a couple of burritos from her favorite burritio place. Now how can I not get her something to eat. We just finished 1 1/2 weeks of her never being hungry and not eating. It makes us smile to see her hungry and eating again.

As soon as we came home, she was on the telephone with the best friend in the world, James. James got in from Pittsburg late last night. Sooo, since that phone call, I have not seen my little pumpkin. She has been at James' house. Mom did call to try to pick her up at 5, but through all the laughs and giggles, she asked to stay longer and of course we gave in.

Regarding Cheyenne's chemo treatments, we received some really, really terrific news today. Again thanks to Coach Slate, I discovered that there was a Pediatric Oncologist from Cooks Children's Hospital in Ft Worth that has rights at both hospitals here in San Angelo. After speaking to Dr Bowman, he advised that he was very confident that it could all be worked out by going through a regular Pediatrician and not an Oncologist here in town. He would supply an IV chemotheraphy qualified nurse to administer the chemo and it would be under Cheyenne's Oncologist's and his orders, but under the supervision of a local Pediatrician. Cheyenne was all smiles when she heard. Looks like Cheyenne might not have to spend 2 weeks out of the month in San Antonio after all.

Thank you again for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Your prayers have been and are still working miracles in Cheyenne and the other children! Some of those children and their families that are still in desperate need of prayers tonight: Celeste and Isaac as they fight this beast of a tumor; Michaela as she is released from the hospital with a horrible prognosis; Emerald to become more mobile; Connor as he fights his cancer with all his heart; and our beautiful friend little LaKota. Also sweet little Justyn is getting better each day and Haley with a much better diagnosis than originally given. Our God is an Awesome God!!!

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, July 18, 2004 8:32 PM CDT

Cheyenne had another really good day today, although I really think that she has overdone it the past couple of days. As today wore on she became pretty tired, and it did affect her dizziness a little. I keep saying that I am going to limit her activities, but she loves being active and doing things with her friends so much, when the opportunity arises, she jumps at it.

Today after church we had the entire family over for a BBQ, lots of visiting, swimming, swinging, and playing games. My parents came as well as all of Cheyenne's brothers and sister and their families. Cheyenne had a great time with her nieces and nephews.

Also today Cheyenne picked up a helium balloon after church and brought it home. I really didn't give it a second thought until she was writing on it and going outside to release it. She wrote a little note to Maddie and sent it up into the heavens with the wind.

I failed to mention the other day, but Cheyenne received a beautiful ceramic angel, annointed with oil and prayed over specifically for her and her illness in the mail. This was a gift from another fantastic organization, the Angels of Destiny. Their web site is www.awesomepower.net/angel . There is a link on their site to request prayers and/or to request the special ceramic angel for your child or another child that you know that is need of special prayers.

The Quilting Angel's fundraiser with Cheyenne's paintings ended today at around noon. Cheyenne's paintings raised $182.00 for this wonderful organization. Thank you to all that participated.

Thank you again for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Your prayers have been and are still working miracles in Cheyenne and the other children! Some of those children and their families that are still in desperate need of prayers tonight: Celeste and Isaac as they fight this beast of a tumor; Michaela as she experiences pain and other problems; Christal as she prepares for the next treatment; Emerald to become more mobile; Connor as he fights his cancer with all his heart;
Jordan Belcher having complications; and our beautiful friend little LaKota.

Also please join me in praising the Lord for the good news that several children are experiencing: Justyn continuing to improve and released from PICU; and Haley as the news from the surgery gets better each day.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, July 17, 2004 8:13 PM CDT

Today was again a very good day for Miss Cheyenne. Lately each day is an improvement over the last. There was no nausea, no stomach pains, lesser amount of dizziness, and lots of laughs, love, life and fun.

This afternoon Coach Slate and Christene brought over an amazing gift for Cheyenne to do on those long boring days when she can't or don't feel well enough to get out of the house. Christene has been going to the Scrapbook University for the past week, and I guess Coach Slate spoke to a few of the people there, a few people that she scrapbooks with, and a few people all across the country. Cheyenne now has what I believe to probably be the largest collection of scrapbooking supplies in the nation. I mean, EVERYTHING!!! In some cases, TWO OF EVERYTHING!!

Christene stayed over and helped Cheyenne get started with a few pointers. The rest of the day the girls scrapbooked, visited, watched movies and had fun. Thank you Coach, thank you Christene, thank you Scrapbook University, thank you EVERYONE that had a part in this.

Today Cheyenne received the most wonderful and emotional surprise in the mail. She received a card from our very beloved Maddie. That's right, Maddie. When Maddie was here on earth she was a bright shining star who we came to know and love very, very much. Now she is the brightest shining star in heaven and in our hearts forever. We still love ya girl!! Maddie made Cheyenne the most beautiful and loving card in the world sometime before being called home. Her mom just found it and sent it on its way. Cheyenne also has a paper mache mask of Maddie's face that Maddie made from her radiation mask. Cheyenne has it prominently displayed on it's own little wall shelf in her room. The card joined it today. Thank you Julie for the wonderful surprise. We shed a few tears of both sadness and joy. Maddie still knows how to spread her sunshine.

The Quilting Angels auction of the children's paintings ends tomorrow around noon. The link is listed below the journal.

Thank you again for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Your prayers have been working miracles, both in Cheyenne and in the other children! Some of those children and their families that are still in desperate need of prayers tonight: Celeste, and Isaac, suffering from the same tumor as Cheyenne that are very, very sick. Michaela as she is also very, very sick; Lakota who is still fighting complications; Christal in the hospital from the last surgery and preparation for the next treatments; Emerald as she is trying to become more mobile as she is also having balance problems; Connor as he fights his cancer with all his heart; Justyn still in PICU (but doing so much better thanks to all the wonderful prayers), and Jordan Belcher, a beautiful young woman that was in an accident a few months ago, and has suffered through the last few days of complications. Also, yesterday little Sammi Jean had surgery and the Doctors were able to remove 100 percent of the tumor. Thank you God for the wonderful news.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, July 16, 2004 6:23 PM CDT

Cheyenne again felt GREAT today. No stomach pain or nausea at all, and the dizziness seemed not quite as bad. To celebrate, mom and dad treated Cheyenne to a round of minature golf. You would never guess who won.. Mom and Dad tied and Cheyenne beat us 2 strokes by making 2 holes in one. But it was over 100 degrees out there today, and the heat was a little too much for her. After finishing and getting under an air conditioner, she returned to her spunky self.

Only one more day left on the Quilting Angels auction. Check it out. Cheyenne's painting are the first 5. One of a kind originals!!!! A link to the auction is located just below the journal.

Today I tried to make arrangements for Cheyenne to have some of her chemotherapy done in San Angelo rather than spend half her life in San Antonio living in motel rooms or the Ronald McDonald House.

I am so, so very disappointed in the Oncology Medical Facilities and Doctors in San Angelo. This is a major West Texas city, and the hospitals claim to be major trauma centers for West Texas. They also advertise to have cancer treatment facilities that are state of the art and there is no reason to go elsewhere for cancer treatment. In the many, many calls I made, I pleaded our case (of course as a non-medical professional I never actually spoke to a DR). I explained the importance of a patient's mental state in fighting this tumor, I explained how we only needed an IV chemotherapy nurse to administer the chemo 3 or 4 times a week. I explained that Cheyenne is under the constant care of her oncologist in San Antonio and the chemo is ordered by him. I also explained that most cities in the United States had such treatment available, often by Home Health Care. We did not find one, not even one local oncologist that really cared. They simply stated, "No we do not see pediatric patients".

So much for that!

Cheyenne was within earshot of one of the phone calls, and it brought tears to her eyes. She so much wants to have some of her treatment here so she can be with her friends, her pets, and be at home. She also wants to start school next month. I have one more call to make, but even I know that it is a long shot. But I am going to give it a try. Welcome to Pediatric Cancer Treatment in West Texas.

Cheyenne is outside in the pool and wants me to join her so I will cut this off.

Thank you again for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Your prayers have been working miracles, both in Cheyenne and in the other children! Some of those children and their families that are still in desperate need of prayers tonight: Celeste, and Isaac, suffering from the same tumor as Cheyenne that are very, very sick. Michaela as she is also very, very sick; Christal in the hospital from the last surgery and preparation for the next treatments; Emerald as she is trying to use her new walker to become more mobile, as she is also having balance problems; Connor as he fights his cancer with all his heart; Justyn still in PICU (but doing so much better thanks to all the wonderful prayers), and Jordan Belcher, a beautiful young woman that was in an accident a few months ago, and has suffered through the last few days of complications.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, July 15, 2004 9:28 PM CDT

Little Katherine Cross of Houston, TX went to be with the Lord this afternoon after battling this tumor for almost a year. Please pray for her family as they spend their first night without their sweet little girl. Thank you.

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Cheyenne had a phenomenonal day today. As much as yesterday was an improvement over the day prior, today was again that much of an improvement over yesterday.

She is still suffering from some dizziness and an occassional stomach ache, but she is walking around the house singing, laughing, and playing. And eating, did I mention that today she ate ALMOST normal.

The day before yesterday we noticed that her left eye did not bulge as much as earlier, and at the time we thought that it was from the occassional patch and new eyedrops that keeps her eye from becoming dry and irritated from not closing properly. But now, we are more confident that its improvement is not just the result of the patch and drops. Tonight at dinner Cheyenne just casually mentioned that the feeling was returning to the left side of her face. HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!!!!

After a complete day today (over 2 hours in the pool) Cheyenne is now waiting for me to play cards with her. Yesterday Leslie gave her a deck of cards that are GIANT sized so she doesn't have to strain to read them. She just can't wait to try them out. I feel a game of War, SlapJack, or something coming on.

Don't forget to check out the Quilting Angels auction. The link is listed below the journal. There are some really cute paintings in there, one of a kind Master Pieces. And 100 percent of the money goes to the Quilting Angels to help offset the expenses of creating those beautiful quilts for the kids. Even Cheyenne has one in progress. Thank you.

Thank you again for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Your prayers have been working miracles, both in Cheyenne and in the other children! Some of those children and their families that are still in desperate need of prayers tonight: Celeste, and Isaac, suffering from the same tumor as Cheyenne that are very, very sick. Michaela as she is coping with the medical prognosis of her recurrance; Christal in the hospital from the last surgery and preparation for the next treatments; Emerald as she is trying to use her new walker to become more mobile, as she is also having balance problems; Justyn still in PICU (but doing so much better thanks to all the wonderful prayers), and Jordan Belcher, a beautiful young woman that was in an accident a few months ago, and has suffered through the last few days of complications.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, July 14, 2004 9:48 PM CDT

This morning at the Fiveash household the day started out with Cheyenne singing that 60's song, "I feel Good"

The rest of the day was kind of a blur, as Cheyenne was on the go all day long. As Cheyenne put it, " I had a GREAT day."

This afternoon, thanks to Leslie, Cheyenne went to a movie with her friends Becca and Christene. Following the movie, the girls all came over to the house to swim, play board games, and have fun. And fun they did have until a few minutes ago when the girls had to leave. (I bet Cheyenne sleeps in tomorrow, HA). Also Chris and his little girls McKayla and Maddie, Cody, Coach Slate and little Hanna, and Leslie's mom Les all joined in for a visit. It was a house full of good conversation, laughs and fun for everyone.

And as if this wasn't enough to make Cheyenne all smiles, her very best friend James, who is spending the summer in Pittsburgh, sent Cheyenne the most beautiful bouquet of flowers. There should be a picture posted within the next day or so, but you should see them, with flowers and candy scattered throughout the bouquet. What really makes them special, is that James worked most of the summer for the money that he decided to spend on Miss Cheyenne. Is that not the sweetest thing in the world.

One thing this morning did raise a little concern for Cheyenne. When she was brushing her hair to go to the movie, a lot of hair came out in the brush. We had a long talk about it. Yes it is a possibility that her hair may thin, and may even all come out. It is not a strong possibility, but every person reacts to the chemos differently, and it could happen. Finally to make matters better, I assured Cheyenne that if her hair did indeed fall out, I would shave my head so there would be 2 of us in the family. I tried to convince Mom that she was part of the deal also, but don't think it will happen in my lifetime. For those of you that remember, when Cheyenne lost her hair to radiation, the Dr said that it was permanent. Well, it came back all soft, curly and pretty.

Hopefully tomorrow will be an even better day than today. Less dizziness, Cheyenne eating a little better, and no problems with her tummy.

I would be remiss if I didn't again mention the EBAY auction going on to raise money for the Quilting Angels. They are such a wonderful group that puts smiles on the faces of all the sick kids. I have put a link below the journal for the auction, so drop over and give it a look. Cheyenne's paintings are the first 5 on the page.

AND (sometimes I just can't stop writing) I don't remember the last time I publicly thanked the Chemo Angels. For those of you that do not know, this is another group of wonderful people that also put smiles on kids faces that are being treated with chemo. Chemo Angel Lori adopted Cheyenne when she first started Chemo and without fail, sends something to Cheyenne several times a week. That has been for over a year!!! Of course, we have now adopted Chemo Angel Lori as a family member, along with her entire family. Thank you Lori, thank you Chemo Angels.

Thank you again for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Your prayers have been working miracles, both in Cheyenne and in the other children! Some of those children and their families that are still in desperate need of prayers tonight: Little Katherine Cross, Celeste, and Isaac, all suffering from the same tumor as Cheyenne that are very, very sick. Michaela as she is told the medical prognosis by the Doctors; Christal in the hospital from the last surgery and her parents deciding on the next treatment; Emerald as she is trying to use her new walker to become more mobile, as she is also having balance problems; Justyn still in PICU (but doing so much better thanks to all the wonderful prayers), and Jordan Belcher, a beautiful young woman that was in an accident a few months ago, and has suffered through the last few days of complications.

I was also told tonight about a young San Angelo mother and baby that really need prayers tonight. Unfortunately I do not have their names yet, but it is my understanding that the mother and child were in California to see off the husband and father as he was deployed to Irag. After he departed, their little 3 month old baby became very sick and is in PICU in California, with a very grim prognosis. This poor new mother is all alone in California with her sick baby, and really needs alot of prayers going their way. I believe that the mom is going to start a caringbridge site within the next few days so their friends and family here in San Angelo can stay in touch. As soon as I have it I will pass it along.

Again thank you and God Bless all of you

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, July 13, 2004 7:49 PM CDT

What a difference one day and a few thousand prayers can make!!!!

Today wasn't a perfect day by any means for Cheyenne, but the old sparkle was back in her eyes and it was a fun, very little sickness kind of day. Even thought it was a 2 Zofran day, she still felt 100 times better than she did yesterday. The zofran did its job quite well and Cheyenne actually ate twice today (so far, we still have to push the Milk Shake a little later). Thank you for all the wonderful prayers, and Thank you Lord for making my little girl feel better!

Speaking of prayers, another very big thank you for all the prayers that went Justyn's way today. If you haven't checked, he has a long way to go, but had several little miracles today in his healing.

Today I finally talked Cheyenne into wearing a patch over one eye in an attempt to ascertain if the dizziness was a result of double vision from the left eye not moving properly, or the chemo side effects. She does feel better with the patch on, but the dizziness is still there. This actually makes me feel a little better. Now we just have to figure out a way to prevent it. One of the three side effects of the chemo that mentions dizziness, said that it might go away after her body becomes accustomed to the chemo.

Cheyenne and I actually took a ride on the 4 wheeler today for a few minutes. And she was going swimming, but instead visited with her niece and nephew for a couple of hours. All in all, she had a really good day.

Late this afternoon the UPS truck paid Miss Cheyenne a visit. The Youth Group from Islands Christian Church in Savannah, Ga, where Melanie Phillips attends church, sent Cheyenne this HUGE banner with personal notes, prayers, and notes of encouragement written all over it. Cheyenne just keeps unrolling it and reading it, unrolling it and reading it, etc.. Now mom and dad have to find a place to hang it, as Cheyenne wants it displayed in her room! THANK YOU Melanie!! Be sure and tell the Youth Group that their prayers are working wonderfully.

And something that I failed to mention earlier. A couple of months ago Cheyenne painted a few paintings with watercolors and crayons for the Quilting Angels. The Quilting Angels are a WONDERFUL group of people that offer so much support for children that are terminally ill or with very serious illinesses. Thier only mission at Quilting Angels is to bring a smile to a child's face, who too often has seen dark moments. They wrap God's sick children in Love! Cheyenne has a quilt in progress from the Angels. Anyway, they are selling the paintings from Cheyenne and other children on EBAY to raise money to continue their fantastic works. I have included a link just below the journal to jump right over to the EBAY page where many beautiful works of art are being sold. This is a VERY WORTHY cause. I can't tell you how fantastic this organization is.

Thank you again for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers DO WORK! There are a few children and their families that are in desperate need of prayers tonight. Little Katherine Cross, Celeste, and Isaac, all suffering from the same tumor as Cheyenne that are very, very sick. Michaela is in the hospital and has gotten worse over the past few days; Christal is in the hospital from the last surgery and her parents now have to decide on the next treatment; Emerald as she is trying to use her new walker to become more mobile, as she is having balance problems also; Justyn still in PICU, and Jordan Belcher, a beautiful young woman that was in an accident a few months ago, and has suffered through the last few days of complications.

Again thank you and God Bless all of you

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, July 12, 2004 8:52 PM CDT

Today was not a much better day than yesterday, but it did have its bright spots.

When Cheyenne got up this morning she felt pretty good, but still suffering with the dizziness. A few hours later, you could see it in her face, she just felt horrible. The sparkle was gone from her eyes, her tummy hurt, and she seemed more dizzy than normal.

Cheyenne had a few packages that she wanted to mail to some caringbridge friends, so even though she felt bad, we drove into town to visit the Post Office. While there I coaxed her into eating 1/2 of a banana split and drinking a cherry limeade as well as going to Walmart to try to find something that she would want to eat around the house.

When she is dizzy like this, it is hard to get around as she can't walk unassisted. In Walmart she rides in the basket, and several people give her a disgusted look, probably thinking "What is that big kid doing in that basket?" I know that Cheyenne notices, and she occassionally will say something to me. It really hurts to see her feelings hurt that way, but I understand the people do not have a clue.

After getting back home and resting a little, you could again see it in her face. The sparkle returned to her eyes and she became a little more talkative. After that we had a good day, although she beat me at the board game of Life. (Mom beat us both!!) If course Mom insists that the reason Cheyenne started feeling better was that it was time for her to come home and Cheyenne just looooves her Mom!!

My bright spot of the day was a call from Julie, Maddie's mom. I don't know how she knows when to call, but she always does. I didn't tell her, but just last night I went to Maddie's site and was going to just say hello and that we were thinking of them all, but just didn't get it done. Thank you Julie, you are a true friend and by the way, a GREAT mom.

I received an email today from a person that is a faithful Cheyenne prayer warrior. Her 6 year old nephew, Justyn, was involved in a horrible ATV accident yesterday and Justyn was severely injured. He is in Intensive Care with a fractured skull, broken neck, and severe facial injuries. Justyn really needs our prayers right now, and the Doctors say the next 72 hours is critical. He does have a newly created caringbridge site and the address is www.caringbridge.org/ny/justyn/ . I have included a link on the bottom of Cheyenne's site. You will just fall in love with this little boy when you see his photo.

Also, please remember to say an extra prayer for our very good friends Celeste, Isaac, and Katherine.

Words can't express my appreciation and feelings of gratitude for all the prayers and support for my pumpkin Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, July 11, 2004 8:34 PM CDT

My little pumpkin Cheyenne really didn't feel real well today so it was a "lazy" day around the house. This morning she did not feel well enough to go to church, and she just loves church and her friends.

I did convince her to go swimming twice today, which did cheer her up a little.

Her stomach and the dizziness are the 2 main problems that affected her today. Zofran seems to help the stomach somewhat, but she still has what she calls "pains" in her stomach on and off. I have read the side effects of the chemo a hundred times. Basically, it lists every possible thing that could ever happen to a person, and says it is a possible or a common side effect. Stomach pains, nausea, dizziness, etc. So how does one know? It lists 3 different side effects that I would call "dizzy". One is referred to as just "dizzy". Another says "feeling like you are spinning", and the other says "feeling like things around you are in constant motion".

Another major barrier that we will have to overcome is finding things for Cheyenne to do that she is capable of doing. She is an active, outdoors, athletic kind of girl. With the dizziness, all of those things are out the window. She gets bored easily in the house, even with all the board games, cards, crafts, and all. I guess our work is cut out for us.

We are praying that tomorrow and the following days are better.

Again, thank you for all the prayers, and please say an extra prayer for our friends Celeste, Isaac, LaKota and especially Katherine in your prayers tonight. We also had the opportunity to meet 2 new families today suffering through this same battle. I linked Melody's and Hanna's sites above so it will be easier to visit them.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, July 10, 2004 8:48 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a fairly good day today, but fought with nausea and dizziness on and off throughout the day. As long as Cheyenne is sitting down, the dizziness is pretty much nonexistent, but when she stands to walk, she becomes light headed and dizzy. The dizziness seems to have varying degrees, with most of the time not being that severe.

After becoming nauseaous a few times today, Cheyenne finally took a zofran which has helped quite a bit. It is still a battle to get her to eat, but we manage to get her to eat at least once a day and then try to give her little things the rest of the day.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please pray that the dizziness is chemo related and will pass during this 2 week break.

Again, thank you for all the prayers, and please remember our friends Celeste, Connor, Isaac, Mitchell, Michaela, LaKota and especially Katherine in your prayers tonight. We also had the opportunity to meet 2 new families today suffering through this same battle. I will be linking Melody's and Hanna's sites as soon as possible as they are also in need of prayers.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, July 9, 2004 11:11 PM CDT

******HOME SWEET HOME******

Again, I am not sure who was the happiest when we arrived back home, Cheyenne or Cinnamon. Cheyenne immediately went into the house, grabbed a treat and ran to Cinnamon. Cinnamon, who just LOVES her treats, didn't want a thing to do with it. Instead it was a billion licks and kisses all over Cheyenne. She has been glued to Cheyenne since getting home.

It is amazing how Cheyenne's attitude changes when we get home. She is a smiling happy girl. I know that she is still having stomach pains and other side effects, but as long as she is at home, she is happy.

Monday we will be speaking to the local Chemo outpatient centers to see if we can work something out so Cheyenne can have her chemo here. I know that Dr Estrada would want her in San Antonio so he could administer the Monday doses and examine her, but San Antonio twice a month versus 2 weeks a month would be GREAT!!

After getting home late this evening, Cheyenne decided that she was hungry for cheese enchiladas. Well, the way that she eats now, we can't forgo a "hungry event". And, we had nothing in the house to eat after being in San Antonio for the past 2 weeks. So it was off to town to one of her favorite places. She ordered, and ATE, what is called "Enchiladas Ole". These are cheese enchiladas with "Fresh" cut up jalapeno peppers sprinkled on top. Now if you know anything about jalapeno peppers, they are really hot, especially the fresh ones rather than the pickled ones. Again, she ate them right down. We are hoping that during the 2 week break from chemo we can put a little of the weight back on her that she loses during the 2 weeks of chemo. Maybe it will all balance out.

I started to not even mention it, but here goes anyway. Today is July 9th. July 9th is not one of our favorite days. One year ago today Cheyenne was diagnosed. Thanks to blessings by God, and the many, many prayers from you, she is still here, fighting her little heart out. Thank you!

During your prayers, could you please remember our friends also. A few that are in need of prayers tonight are Celeste, Isaac, Mitch, Katherine, Emerald, Connor, Michaela and LaKota. Also please say a prayer for our new friends, the Rayfield's.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Thursday, July 8, 2004 9:32 PM CDT

!!!!!ONLY ONE MORE DAY OF CHEMO THIS ROUND!!!!!

This week has flown by, tomorrow already being friday, and we will going home for TWO WEEKS!!

We have come to the realization that this chemo is not very user friendly, and Cheyenne really feels bad after each treatment. The side effects of the Irinotecan happen to correspond to the same symptoms as the tumor, so we may not know until a break in chemo exactly what is causing some of her problems. Immediately after chemo she gets light headed, dizzy and has balance problems. The first couple of hours immediatly afterwards are the worse, the balance problems seem to get better as the day wears on, but are still there. By the time she is getting better, it is chemo time again.

We are coping with the appetite problem, getting her to eat whenever we can and whatever we can get her to eat. We consider it a victory if we can get her to eat at least one good meal a day. Hopefully this too will change during the 2 week break.

This evening we had the pleasure of being guests at the home of the Rayfield family here in San Antonio. We had a fantastic visit. Mark and Jeannine have been fighting the beast of pediatric cancer for quite a while, and to put it bluntly, have been kicking some cancer butt. Their 14 year old daughter Kristen is a 5 year survivor from a PNET tumor and their 11 year old son Ryan is a 26 month survivor of a Pontine Glioma (same as Cheyenne). I believe Cheyenne and Kristen hit it off very well and are destined to become friends. Poor Ryan just started his round of chemo and was a little under the weather but I saw a couple of smiles come from his way. Anyway, we have found some new friends and have added them to our daily prayer list. Cheyenne has so many children that she routinely prays for, but we know from experience that prayers are an awesome power.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember our friends in your prayers tonight, especially Celeste, Isaac, Mitch, Katherine, Emerald and LaKota. Also please say a prayer for our new friends, the Rayfield's.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 8:58 PM CDT

!!!!!Only 2 more chemo treatments this round!!!!!

This morning at chemo we had the privilege of meeting a very nice young man named Andrew and his mom Kim. In case you are reading this Andrew, Hello!!!! Our schedules are not exactly the same, but I bet we will be seeing alot of each other at the Doctor's office.

We had a pretty big day planned for Cheyenne, lots to do, places to go, and people to see, but after the first stop the chemo won out and it was back to the room to rest.

We started at the Mercado, downtown to do a little shopping. But it didn't take long before Cheyenne didn't feel like doing anything. We also intended to stop by and visit some friends at their work (I am sure their bosses like that), and actually made it into the parking lot before deciding to forgo the visit. Sorry Maggi, Rose, Karen, Carmen and Haydee. Maybe next time.

While back at the room Cheyenne did feel well enough to play games, both board games and computer games. And of course, she beat me pretty bad in Sequence.

Tomorrow we have another big day planned, as long as Cheyenne feels up to it. We will be meeting another family that is battling this same tumor as we are. If I haven't mentioned it lately, I really hate this tumor and all child cancers and tumors!!!!!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember our friends in your prayers tonight, especially Celeste, Isaac, Mitch, Katherine, Emerald and LaKota. Hopefully I will make this computer cooperate and visit a few other sites tonight.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, July 6, 2004 9:08 PM CDT

Today was a good day for our Miss Cheyenne. The Chemo went really well, and we were able to get her to eat a couple of times today, not alot, but eat none the less. She had a few of those "I don't feel real good" times, but they were fairly short times.

Reading the guestbook entries, I noticed that Sherry thinks that Cheyenne forgot her and Bethy, well, just hold your horses, they were finished this morning and have little tags on them with your names so as to not give them to anyone else. HA. So there!

We had a wonderful treat this evening. We met with Ken and Fran Harris for dinner and a very nice visit. Also Fran gave Cheyenne two bracelets that she made especially for Cheyenne. We wish we would have gotten to meet Robert, but he stayed in Colorado. Thank you Ken, Thank you Fran. It was wonderful meeting and visiting with you. Can't wait to do it again.

This has to be a short journal tonight, as Cheyenne is all geared up for Board Games. It looks like tonight is the night for "Sequence", courtesy of Coach and Christine Slate. Thanks Coach.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember to say an extra prayer for our friends Celeste, Isaac, Emerald, Connor, Michaela, Katherine, and LaKota.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, July 5, 2004 8:56 PM CDT

Today was shaping up to be an excellent day for Cheyenne. She woke up feeling great and we were off to San Antonio for Week 2 of the new chemo treatment.

On the trip here, Cheyenne kept herself busy making braclets for her friends as well as teaching mom how to make them. At one point mom was having a hard time keeping her strings secured and Cheyenne looked at her and said, "Here, let me show you. You tape it up like an IV!" Then she proceeded to tape the strings up in this criss cross pattern with the tape, just the way the nurses do an IV. No child should have to know how to tape an IV.

First we met with Cheyenne's Oncologist, who after hearing of all the side effects she was having, reduced the Vincristine from 1.9 to 1.5 ml and gave us a precription for one of the more unpleasant side effects.

Then it was time for the poke by Nurse Sue. I swear Nurse Sue is the best in the world. Cheyenne didn't even feel it. As a matter of fact, she decided to get poked every day rather than stay accessed for the week.

During the chemo there were no problems at all, but (there has to always be a but) following the chemo, Cheyenne started getting sick. Basically, she just felt horrible all over for the next several hours.

Now it is a chore to make Cheyenne eat. She is NEVER hungry anymore. At home we make milkshakes, etc to keep her going when nothing else will work, but it is kind of hard when we are in San Antonio. Fortunately Cheyenne understands, and most of the time will eat even if not hungry, as long as we tell her she has to.

We are currently staying at the RMH on Sid Katz in San Antonio. After arriving her today Cheyenne was really disappointed, as there were no children here today. She was looking forward to making a few new friends. I almost said, that maybe there will be some other children here tomorrow, but after thinking about it, I pray that there will not be. There are already enough sick kids in the world.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Again I am having a hard time getting on certain sites, but will keep trying. Please remember our sweet friends Celeste, Isaac, Emerald, Connor, Michaela, Katherine, and LaKota in your prayers.

Thank you and God Bless.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, July 4, 2004 11:05 PM CDT

Cheyenne felt really, really good today. Her pain from the port has mostly gone away and the problems from the chemo have been almost none existent on this 2 day break.

Of course, in Cheyenne fashion, she was going all day long, and probably was too active today. Hopefully she won't pay for it tomorrow, but for today, she had lots and lots of fun.

After church we met several friends and family at Mr Gatti's for pizza, games, games and games.

After a couple of hours there, it was home where Cheyenne immediately started building her braclets for her friends and getting out a few cards, letters and packages that were a little overdue.

Tonight we again met family and friends to watch a fireworks display at the lake. Again, lots of fun for Cheyenne.

Tomorrow we are again off to San Antonio for another week of chemo treatment. Then, in only FIVE days, Cheyenne will get a TWO WEEK BREAK!!!!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are an awesome power, as the Great Healer is the One and Only, Our Lord. In your prayers tonight, please remember to say an extra prayer for our friends Celeste, Isaac, Katherine, LaKota, Michaela, Jessie, Mitchell and Connor. Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, July 3, 2004 10:44 PM CDT

!!!!!HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!!!

Today was a pretty good day for Cheyenne compared to yesterday. The pains were not near as severe today and there was no nausea. Sweet little Lindsey has given Cheyenne quite a few pointers from her Vincristine experience, and they work well. Thank you Lindsey, you are a life saver!!!

One side effect which I didn't mention yesterday, is problems with Cheyenne's taste. Her favorite foods now have an unbearable sour taste, as does her toothpaste. A soda or anything carbonated burns her mouth and throat. Since she is now very seldom hungry, and we have to almost force her to eat, this will be making it a little more difficult.

But we had a conversation with Cheyenne, and this too we shall overcome. She knows that it is going to be rough, and it may get worse before it gets better, but she is one tough little girl.

We had hoped that Cheyenne would spend the day lounging around the house under the air conditioner. She seems to do so much better when she does not overdo herself. But in true Cheyenne fashion, when asked to attend a friend's birthday party, there was no stopping her. So, Cheyenne spent 6 hours at Heather's house having fun this afternoon. And to top it off, she knew that we had to go into town to do a little shopping so she made me promise to not go without her. So when the party was over, it was off to our favorite store, Walmart. We didn't get home until after 9pm. I know that I am tired, so I can imagine how Cheyenne is feeling.

Tomorrow is church and afterwards we are meeting Coach and Christine at Mr Gatti's. Chris and his family are hopefully going to be there so we will just make it a party.

And by the way, I promise I will update Cheyenne's site within the next couple of weeks. I have many links to add and work on. I know that I can't do it in San Antonio, but hopefully during the 2 week chemo break.

Also I want to say a special thank you to all the wonderful friends, new and old, that offered us their homes while we are staying in San Antonio. As it stands right now, we have made plans to stay at the Ronald McDonald House on Sid Katz Blvd, just 2 blocks from where Cheyenne has her treatment. We attempted to look into treatment here in San Angelo, either Home Health or Out Patient at one of the hospitals, but being the 4th of July weekend, we could not get anyone to talk to us friday and they are probably closed monday. We plan on trying to make the contacts again on tuesday from the Dr's office in San Antonio. I believe Cheyenne's Dr would like to see us for the Monday appointments, but has no problem with us having the other 4 each week in San Angelo, if we can find qualified people to administer it, and if the Insurance Company will allow it.

Thank you all for checking on Cheyenne and for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember to say an extra prayer for our friends Celeste, Katherine, Isaac, Mitchell, LaKota, Michaela and Emerald tonight.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, July 2, 2004 9:23 PM CDT

WE ARE HOME FOR 2 WHOLE DAYS!!!!

We finally arrived back home late this afternoon. Cheyenne's chemo this morning went well, but she had a pretty rotten morning and afternoon.

This chemo (Vincristine) has several side effects, one of which is nerve pain/damage. I understand that generally, at the low dose that Cheyenne is on, very seldom will there be permanent damage. But the pain is still there. Not only is she still suffering from the pain from the port implant, but during and after chemo today, she got a horrible headache, neckache, backache, and the most painful according to her, the joints of her jaws hurt. Also, occassionally without warning, her tongue and/or throat will start burning like fire. Then add to that an occassional bout with nausea, and it made a pretty bad time for Cheyenne.

Fortunately, after arriving back home, Cheyenne plopped into my big recliner (I guess it is now Cheyenne's big recliner) and has been having a pretty good evening.

The Dr said that those effects should hopefully stop by tomorrow and said that she should have a pretty good 2 day break. We'll see.

As far as knowing if this chemo combination is the right one, we probably won't know for awhile. Basically the Dr said that he would expect to see positive results in 6 weeks if it is working, and if not, see additional symptoms or current symptoms increase is severity.

Thank you all for checking on Cheyenne and for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember to say an extra prayer for our friends Celeste, Katherine, Isaac, and Emerald tonight. Also, LaKota received some more good news yesterday, Praise the Lord!

Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, July 1, 2004 6:07 PM CDT

Day 3 of this new chemo treatment is over, and went well!!

Cheyenne is still suffering from a little pain, walks hunched over, and itches like crazy where the tape was, but had a good day.

Immediately after treatment, we were able to meet the "girls" at Cheyenne's favorite Chinese place. She didn't eat as well as she normally does, but at least she ate.

Since Cheyenne still has a hard time getting around, we decided to treat her to a movie this afternoon, and took her to Spiderman 2. Pretty good movie. Cheyenne really enjoyed it anyway. Tonight Cheyenne has designated as Family Fun Night. She is planning board games and movies here in the room.

I can't wait to have the old Cheyenne back, when she can move around a little better and smile a little more. If you can't tell by this journal, we are pretty much "Buddies".

Tomorrow following treatment we are going back to San Angelo for the weekend. Cheyenne can not wait to see her sis and of course, Cinnamon. We will be back in San Antonio Monday. We still have several people that we need to call and visit while we are here. Hopefully, by next week Cheyenne will be feeling a little better.

Thank you for all the continued prayers for our little girl as well as all the other children. Please say an extra prayer for our friends Celeste, Katherine, Emerald, LaKota, and Isaac tonight as well.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, June 30, 2004 5:58 PM CDT

The weather today in San Antonio was a Big surprise. It rained all day. Wow, it rains alot down here!

Cheyenne had a good day today, although she probably had the most pain from her implant today. Earlier she could barely move around, but she is trying to not let it get her down.

During chemo today everything went very smoothly. Nurse Sue removed most of the tape that was causing all the problems and padded the access point so it would not hurt as bad. While Nurse Sue was gently removing the tape, Cheyenne looked up at her and said, "It's sure a good thing I like you." I think that can be translated to "It hurts."

Unfortunately a hint of the chemo appetite returned today. At lunch we almost had to force Cheyenne to eat. But at least she gave in and ate about 1/2 of her lunch for us.

Due to Cheyenne hurting from the surgery, we really didn't do much today at all. It was a hang around the room and watch it rain day. Eventually that turned into a looong game of Life. Hopefully tomorrow Cheyenne will feel a little better. We have made plans with the "girls" to meet for lunch at Cheyenne's favorite place. Also we scoped out the Movie theater to see what is playing and when, just in case.

Thank you all for all the thoughts, prayers, and guestbook entries for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember our very good friends Celeste, Emerald, LaKota, Katherine and Isaac in your prayers as well.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, June 29, 2004 4:03 PM CDT

I just had to update the site at 830pm to give you some idea of the mood that Cheyenne is in. After one game of Life and one game of Candy Land Cheyenne got up and was walking across the room all hunched over, barely moving. She looked into the mirror at herself, then got a wacky smile on her face, and started this crazy, funny dance, swinging her arms and shuffling her feet. She looked just like the old man on the Six Flags commercial that gets off the bus and breaks into a crazy dance. She is some character tonight. Still in pain, but not letting it get her down.
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Someone remind me before our next trip to San Antonio to bring an unbrella and jacket. It has rained ever since getting here, and talk about being chilly when you go inside an airconditioned building when wet!!!!

Today has been much better for Cheyenne as well as the rest of us. Cheyenne woke up this morning, still sore, but able to move around a little. She laughs at herself and says she walks like an old lady, all bent over.

Her chemo infusion went very, very well. We were concerned about some of the side effects, as both chemos have their distinct side effects. We realize that it is only the first treatment, but some of the side effects actually occur during the infusion. So we are happy to report, not a single side effect thus far.

Cheyenne was having a problem yesterday, which very well could have been a symptom of tumor growth, however, today that symptom appears to be going away. So, maybe it was a side effect of surgery or anesthesia (I can't spell without spell check).

Well, only 8 more days of treatment this round before having 2 weeks off!! I am not sure when we will be able to tell if this new treatment works, but we should know long before having the next MRI.

This afternoon after completing treatment, we drove over to the Ronald McDonald House. It is only 2 blocks from where Cheyenne gets her treatment. We have reservations there beginning next week. We had a tour of the place, and boy is it large and nice. It has 20 rooms for families.

Also this afternoon I figured our a way to be able to access a few of the guestbook sites that I could not get onto before. So hopefully I will be able to visit a few of our friends sites each day.

Thank you for all the prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember our friends Celeste, Emerald, LaKota, Katherine and Isaac with an extra prayer tonight. Hopefully within the next day or so, Katherine will start a new protocol involving Iscador (mistle toe extract). From what I have read, it has had some success in Europe for children with this tumor.

Again, Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, June 28, 2004 6:13 PM CDT

Cheyenne's surgery for the port implant went well, finally getting discharged at 430pm. We just arrived back at the room after picking up a prescription for pain from the pharmacy. Cheyenne is actually in quite a bit of pain, especially when she stand, walks, or moves. Also she is still pretty groggy from the surgery.

Since she is having chemo in the morning, they left the port accessed, that is, with about 10 inches of line attached to it hanging down to her waist. I know it hurts when she bumps it, as you can see it on her face. But in Cheyenne fashion, she is not complaining.

The worse news of the day for Cheyenne was "No swimming for 2 to 3 weeks" to prevent infection.

We were all pretty apprehensive about today. Last night I finally turned off the TV after 1am to get Cheyenne to go to bed. I asked her if she was worried and that is why she couldn't go to sleep, and she just said, "yea, maybe".

We are praying so very hard for this chemo combination tomorrow to work, and work soon. This tumor doesn't give second chances. It is such a fast grower and so many symptoms can come on so very fast.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne and the other children. If anyone stops by our sweet friend Celeste's site, please pass the message from Cheyenne that she loves her. I can't seem to access any other sites from here, at least not get into the guestbooks.

Thank you and God Bless all of you.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, June 27, 2004 9:11 PM CDT

Cheyenne, Mom and Dad all made it safely to San Antonio to begin Round 2 of the Cancer Journey.

I was able to obtain internet access tonight, but it is on dialup, as a matter of fact, very slow dialup. When we first went online we attempted to sign a few guestbooks. The first we tried to visit was Celeste's, and after 15 minutes of loading, I finally cancelled.

For those of you visiting Cheyenne's site and experiencing the same problems, I requested Caringbridge to again archive her older guestbook entries. So help is on the way.

Cheyenne had a really feel good day again today even though the majority of it was spent in the car.

After getting to the room, Cheyenne changed to jump in the pool. After about 30 minutes, she actually said she was ready to get out. Ha, there were 12 other kids in the pool, and they were a pretty rowdy crowd, a little more so than Miss Cheyenne.

Mom and Dad are still pretty drove up about the next few days, but Cheyenne is pretty calm about the whole thing now.

I know that tomorrow morning is going to be rough, as Cheyenne can't eat after midnight tonight due to the surgery. One thing about this girl, she enjoys eating and actually gets sick if she gets too hungry.

Please remember our little stink in your prayers tomorrow morning for her port implant and the beginning of the new chemo the next day.

Also please remember to say an extra prayer for Celeste and Isaac. Also, a sweet little girl named Katherine Cross (I have not had the opportunity to link her site yet) of the Houston, Tx area as her mom decides on the next level of treatment. Katherine also was diagnosed with this horrible beast of a tumor and is experiencing tumor growth. Katherine's mom and I have been emailing lately on various treatment plans which may have promise.

Again, thank you and God Bless all of you.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, June 26, 2004 10:53 PM CDT

Cheyenne again had an awesome feeling day. Not a hint of nausea.

Most of the morning was spent cleaning house in preparation of leaving in the morning, but this afternoon we decided to treat Miss Cheyenne to a movie. We saw "Around the World in 80 days". Cheyenne loves Jackie Chan movies, I think she has seen them all.

Following the movie, Christopher and his family came over to give Cheyenne a bunch of hugs, kisses and well wishes for next week. We had a wonderful visit with them and Cheyenne just eats up playing with little Maddie and McKayla. I noticed that when they were getting ready to leave, Cheyenne was stealing several kisses from the girls.

Tomorrow we hit the road for San Antonio again, leaving poor Diana at home to take care of all our animals. But her 2 big brothers and boy friend have said that they will help every day, so it should be easy.

Please remember Cheyenne in your prayers as she has her port installed Monday at around 1pm and then again on tuesday as she starts her new chemo at around 10am. We are putting a lot of confidence into this combination of chemos, although I have already started research to find another in the event she has problems with it or if it fails to work. Even though the Dr is planning on not evaluating the effectiveness of this treatment for 2 to 3 months, with the symptoms that Cheyenne currently has that are obviously increasing, we should know in a few weeks if this treatment is working.

At this point we do not know if we will have internet access the next week in San Antonio, so if I don't update, you will know the reason why. If I have to, we will have one of our children here update the site just to let everyone know how we are holding up. We have had a pretty stressful last couple of weeks, and so far, our stress level hasn't decreased. I guess the pre-new chemo jitters are as bad as the pre-mri jitters.

Thank you for all your prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children, and please remember to say an extra prayer for our very good friends Celeste and Isaac. Also, you may want to thank God for beautiful LaKota's test results that have been coming back fantastic. She has a few more to go, but with prayers, she will continue on her road to being cancer free.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, June 25, 2004 11:31 PM CDT

Today was another one of those excellent feel good days for Cheyenne. No nausea what so ever, not even a hint! Cheyenne's left eye has degraded to a point where it does not track as well as it did a month or so ago, and every now than then when running across the floor, she has to catch herself, but she is running none the less. And having fun filled days not matter what we are doing.

Today was a rather unusual day, as there was no swimming today. We planned to swim in the afternoon, but the sky became cloudy and it started to rain. So much for that.

This evening was a very special evening for the entire family, but especially for me. My former co-workers gave me a retirement dinner tonight. It was rather humbling to see all my friends from all over the United States come to the dinner. Some I haven't seen in a while, and of course many that I worked with up until just 2 months ago. But, I beleive that Cheyenne was the hit of the party. She had a wonderful time visiting with many of our friends that we share, including the "girls" from San Antonio. She had such a great time she is still up and it is almost midnight.

On the way home from the retirement dinner Cheyenne commented on all the wonderful retirement gifts that I had received. Then she leaned over and whispered in my ear, "You had better start writing the thank you notes, because if you don't Mom won't get off your butt." So, I guess she knows how behind we are in thank you cards. Hopefully soon.

This afternoon Cheyenne's oncologist called with the schedule for next week. We report to Children's Methodist Hospital at 11am monday for a 1pm surgery to implant the port. We asked many, many questions and I am pleased to report that the surgeon doing the implant is considered the best in San Antonio.

Following the port implant Cheyenne will start her new chemo treatment on tuesday morning. I am sure that the first few days will be a little rough on our little girl, but she is one tough cookie.

For the first week we have had to make reservations at a local hotel not far from the treatment facility. While we are there we will be looking into the Ronald McDonald House and other options. Everything will work out eventually.

We have received so many wonderful guestbook entries, emails, and phone calls lately. Some giving us information on treatment, others giving us moral support. There are also soooo many people praying for Cheyenne. I can't begin to thank all of you, but you all are so wonderful. Thank you.

Please remember all of our friends in your prayers, especially Celeste and Isaac.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, June 24, 2004 5:35 PM CDT

I decided to update a little early today while I had the time. Cheyenne felt really, really good today. Of course, she is still concerned about missing all of her activities, but I hope she comes around. She still has not accepted the fact that we may be in San Antonio Monday, and not at Vacation Bible School.

She had one of the sweetest phone calls today. Little Fisher Bug called Miss Cheyenne this afternoon. Fisher is having his port removed in a few days, and he knew that Cheyenne was anxious about having her's put in, and he called to say hi and reassure her. Wasn't that the sweetest thing in the world to do?

Also I had the pleasure of talking to Jeremy, Celeste's dad today. We spoke for over an hour about our beautiful girls.

Later this evening Cheyenne has been invited to meet a bunch of her friends at Dairy Queen in San Angelo, so we are taking a trip into town in a couple of hours. Cheyenne looooves Dairy Queen.

Today was another one of those "didn't do much" other than swimming. Cheyenne convinced me to go swimming with her for over an hour. She is one little fish.

We are still awaiting word from the Dr's on the exact times and dates to be in San Antonio. I finally called our Dr earlier today, but they were waiting for a call from the surgeon, so I still don't know anything.

We also had the opportunity to meet someone today whose 19 year old sister, Stacy Espinosa of San Angelo, was just diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. We spoke alot about treatments, doctors, etc, and I promised that I would ask for prayers for this young lady. I know what she is currently going through, the feelings and confusion, and know that she needs all the help that she can get. Hopefully we will be able to meet her someday in person.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember our sweet friend Celeste tonight in your prayers. She is a fighter and with God's help will overcome these latest problems.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, June 23, 2004 7:06 PM CDT

UPDATE 9:30 pm

OK, if this keeps up, I may need some relief around here! Cheyenne just returned from church, and advised me that she had designated tonight as WHAT??? FAMILY FUN NIGHT!!!!! Let's see, this is 4 or 5 in a row??? Does anyone out there enjoy playing the board game "LIFE"??

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Today was another pretty good day for Cheyenne. She wasn't sick to her stomach all day, and although we really didn't do anything special, we had a good time all day just being together. Cheyenne is currently at church with her youth group, hopefully having fun.

Cheyenne's Oncologist did not call today, so we are still just tentative on starting on Monday the 28th. The problem would be with scheduling the surgeon to implant the port. Since everything is still tentative, we really can't make any other plans, but hopefully tomorrow.

I really felt bad for Cheyenne earlier this evening. She is sooo looking forward to helping at the upcoming Vacation Bible School at church. Among other things, she had a daily part in a muppet play for the kids. She was really studying and practicing her parts. She realized today that if we have the treatment monday, she will not be able to participate in the Vacation Bible School. That brought on not being able to start school, playing basketball, etc.... There were a few tears shed and it made me feel like a heel. We are going to look into Home Health Care, as an option to possibly having the chemo here at home. But we still would have to be in San Antonio for the port implant and the first few treatments.

I am so afraid to postpone the treatment. We know that the symptoms are increasing, and the tumor is growing, so we need to hit it with everything that we have as quickly as we can. We don't want to wind up behind the ball so to speak.

Over the past few days I have received so many wonderful phone calls, email messages, and information in the guestbook helping us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are so wonderful. Thank you.

Also we are soooo far behind in sending out thank you cards for all the wonderful things that people have done for Cheyenne and the family. I am so far behind in visiting many of our fellow caringbridge friends. Hopefully I will soon get back into the swing of things.

Thank you also for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I do know that our friends Celeste and Mitch are still in need of immediate prayers tonight. Also if you haven't read, Praise Be to God, tests on sweet little LaKota confirmed 100 per cent donor cells!!!!! Thank you God!!

Thank you each and every one. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, June 22, 2004 8:04 PM CDT

UPDATE 1130pm

I just learned that our friend Mitch was having some pretty serious problems tonight, so please remember him and his family in your prayers as well. Thank you

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Health wise, Cheyenne had another good day. There was very little nausea but felt good most of the day. Mentally, I guess we are all pretty drained, Cheyenne included. Our lives have actually been pretty normal over the past several months, and now we are again being thrust into the world of cancer. Not that we weren't there already, but it seems as we at least had a little normalacy in our lives. Cheyenne is comfortable around the house, there is so much for her to do here, and lots of fun to be had, friends etc..

Now that we know that Cheyenne is experiencing regrowth of the tumor, decisions had to be made concerning the next treatment. Of course there is no treatment available near San Angelo. And the treatment that we chose is not an easy treatment for Cheyenne.

At this point, we are tentatively set to begin treatment again in San Antonio this next monday, the 28th. We have chosen a relatively new chemotherapy drug called Irinotecan, to be administered in conjunction with an older chemotherapy drug called Vincristine. Both drugs are administered via IV, not orally, so it has to be done at the treatment facility or the Dr's office. The schedule would be 5 days on, 2 days off, 5 days on, and then 2 weeks off. After a couple of months, a followup MRI would be taken to determine its effectiveness. If it is effective, it is continued. If not, the Vincristine is switched to another older Chemo drug, such as carboplatin.

We do not personally know of any children with this specific tumor that has taken this protocol. Reading the studies, there have been some really remarkable instances of excellent results with other brain tumors. They seem to run about 50 percent, but again, I do not know of any with this particular tumor.

With the treatment schedule, it would mean living in San Antonio, again.. Cheyenne does not like San Antonio. I am sure she associates it with her diagnosis and radiation treatment, neither of which was very pleasant. Then, because the treatment is via IV, she would have to have a port surgically implanted. Not a very pleasant idea for her at this point. Then we won't even get into the side effects, not very pleasant either. I understand that the Irinotecan is fairly non toxic, but if I am correct, the Vincristine is pretty bad. I guess the determining factor will be the exact mix and combination of the two.

She wants to start school on the first day, but with this treatment plan, not likely. We no longer have the apartment in San Antonio, so we don't know what we will do yet. The negatives seem to just keep coming. But there is one positive aspect, this gives us hope and a fighting chance. That's the bottom line and all that matters.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne, the family, and all the other children. Please remember to say an extra prayer for Celeste and LaKota tonight.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, June 22, 2004 6:13 AM CDT

UPDATE 7AM

Please say a prayer for Celeste, she has taken a turn for the worse and needs help to pull out of this. Thank you.

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NEW PHOTOS OF THE MAKE A WISH FISHING TOURNAMENT

We have some pretty severe storms overhead and keep losing power, so I will try to make this nice and short.

Today was a GREAT day for Cheyenne. She was well rested and we stayed away from the outdoor activities during the heat. That added up to a wonderful day. Actually, her eye was much better today from not over doing her activities.

Of course, she did swim, and swim, and swim. Then later in the evening, she went over to a friend’s house, TO SWIM!

And you would never guess what Cheyenne designated tonight as. THAT’S RIGHT, FAMILY FUN NIGHT. AGGGH!

Also, all of Cheyenne’s Karate friends would be proud of her tonight. She still has it!! Don’t ask me what she was doing, because I have no idea, but, somehow in the process of a roundhouse kick from on her bed, she caught dear old mom right in the forehead. Fortunately no injury or damage. Mom even got a laugh out of it.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Due to the power outages I have not had an opportunity to check our caringbridge friends, however if you would please, remember Celeste, Lakota, and Michael with an extra prayer tonight.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne’s dad

Sunday, June 20, 2004 8:57 PM CDT

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU DADS OUT THERE.

Today was a completely nausea free day for Cheyenne, not even a hint or complaint all day long.

Cheyenne was really, really pooped last night, and fell asleep while watching a video during one of her designated "family fun nights". Ha, the little stink is calling the "family fun nights" about every other night. That is her way of getting me to play board games with her, I believe.

After church today we drove out and visited my mom and dad for father's day. If I haven't ever mentioned it, I believe I have the best dad in the whole world, mom too. I have promised myself that I will tell them how great they are every chance I get. (I have to make up for all those teenage years, you know!!)

Cheyenne asked me to take her go kart out to my parents, so after a good visit, she had me unload it to take a spin around the ranch. It was over 100 degrees today, and I think the heat was a little too much for her. I have noticed lately that too much activity in the heat of the day causes Cheyenne's face and eye to appear a little worse. I know that she is not going to like this, since she is so very active, but I am going to start limiting her outside activities during the heat of the day. After all, this is West Texas, and it is very, very hot. But I won't limit her swimming. She is just a little fish and the swimming seems to do her good. Even though we were gone most of the day, she still got in a good hour in the pool today.

As far as the next treatment for Cheyenne, we are still doing a little research, as is her oncologist. The plan is to call the Dr on Tuesday and make the final decision. If we go with the chemo's that we discussed the other day, it will again mean living in San Antonio for awhile. And, we just gave up the apartment at the first of the month. Oh Well!!

Also, Cheyenne's road trip across the US to visit her friends is also dependent on the decisions regarding treatment. There are soooo many people she would like to see. From her fellow caringbridge children, to the Chemo Angel's, supporters, so on and so on.

Hopefully, someday in the near future, I will again be updating Cheyenne's site. There are several children that need to be linked to Cheyenne's site, but it seems that my time is so limited. I am not going to limit my time with Cheyenne, so that only leaves a few hours at night, and lately it is filled with research.

Cheyenne just asked me to tell everyone hello.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. As you might expect, Donna and I are firm believers in the power of prayer. As a matter of fact, we could probably use a few also, with all the stress that we have been under the last few days. Please say an extra prayer for sweet little Celeste and Lakota tonight, and remember Ian's family in your prayers, as he went to be with the Lord today and his family is missing him horribly.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Saturday, June 19, 2004 3:59 PM CDT

We just arrived back home after 3 long days. Yesterday morning our Neurosurgeon viewed all the scans taken the day before as well as compared them to the last scan in April. They have ruled out radiation necrosis and any form of a cystic mass causing Cheyenne's problems with her face and eye. They are confident that it is tumor growth causing the problems. The only good news, if you can consider it good news, is that it seems to be very slow growth, which for this tumor, is very unusual. The Dr is also pretty confident that the tumor is now larger than it was in April, thought not substantially larger. It is actually pretty difficult to get a good read on the growth from these scans, since they were taken with different equipment, at a different facility, and the "slices" were not the same in this MRI and the ones previous. There are alot of variables that have to be considered, but the progression of the face and eye basically confirm growth.

Following that appointment, we visited with Cheyenne's oncologist to talk about possible future treatments. We provided him with a couple of chemo combinations that have been successful on some children in the past, and he agreed that they may work. Also the Dr wanted to visit with our radiologist to verify that Cheyenne had received the maximum dose of radiation, as this tumor had responded so well to radiation in the past.

Lastly, we are not giving up hope on Protocel. There are 2 formulas of Protocel, and individuals and individual tumors react differently to the different formulas. Most of Cheyenne's tumor reduction occurred while she was taking the formula 23. We changed Cheyenne's Protocel formula to formula 50 around Christmas in an attempt to become more aggressive with the tumor. This fairly well coinsides with the dates that we now believe the tumor started slowly growing. We have switched Cheyenne back to the formula 23 version as of about a month ago. A month is really too early to see on scans if it is working better than the 50. Additionally, we added another alternative treatment to the Protocel. MOST IMPORTANTLY, WE ARE NOT GIVING UP. THIS TUMOR IS GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT TO TAKE OUR LITTLE GIRL!!!!

Enough of the Medical news, I need to tell you how well Cheyenne is feeling and doing and having sooo much fun. Now truthfully, the Dr appointments were not fun at all. We did not get to visit any of our friends or go anywhere that we wanted in San Antonio. The scans and Dr appointments basically took alllll day long both days. But after arriving back at the hotel on thursday evening, Cheyenne jumped into the swimming pool and met 2 new friends. They played nonstop for over 2 hours in the pool.

Friday evening we traveled to Lake Ivey, to the Annual "Fishing for Wishes" Make A Wish fishing tournament. Make A Wish put us up in a cabin at the lake, fed us breakfast and lunch, and gave us the Best Guides in all of West Texas to take us out fishing.

Mike Jones of Midland and Tiffany Whitley of Dallas, both volunteers, loaded up Miss Cheyenne, mom and dad into Mike's boat, and off we went onto the lake. Thanks to Mike scouting the lake the day prior, Cheyenne caught 15 fish. Can you believe that?? 15. We thought it was 13, but Cheyenne corrected us in the car, and said, no I was counting, it was 15. Cheyenne was a little pooped from being in the sun, but had a GREAT time. Thank you Mike, Thank you Tiffany, and Thank you Make A Wish. This was WONDERFUL. Every Make A Wish child that I saw was grinning ear to ear.

Also Cheyenne saw a few of her friends from previous Make A Wish functions, and made many more friends. I heard her making plans to meet them at the next outing.

Thank you for all the prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember Cheyenne's little caringbridge sister Celeste with special prayers. Also, today I read an email from our very good friends Ken and Fran. Their little 12 year old grandson (Robert's brother) passed away unexpectedly. Please say a prayer for their entire family during this horrific time, and as they travel to be with their loved ones.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, June 16, 2004 9:34 PM CDT

Today, another feel good day for Cheyenne. We love these days! Right now she is complaining of a minor stomach ache, but as much as she ate a little while ago, it is no wonder.

We are leaving at 7am in the morning for the trip to San Antonio for a 1230 pm MRI and Spectroscopy. We have never been to this facility, so I hope I can find it easily.

After the MRI I am sure we can find something fun to do, maybe visit some friends, as we will have to stay the night at a hotel for the Neurosurgeon appointment the next morning. Hopefully we can find out what is causing the gradual degradation of Cheyenne's face and eye, and we are praying that it is not tumor agression, but something that we have a possibility of treating.

Following the Dr appointment on Friday, we are not coming home, but instead driving to Lake Ivey to attend the annual Make A Wish "Wishing for Fishing" fishing tournament. We are checking into a hotel there friday night for early (730am) fishing on Saturday. Cheyenne has really been looking forward to this.

We should be home by Saturday night and I will update sometime then, unless by chance, the hotel has an internet connection that I might be able to connect a laptop to.

Please remember Cheyenne in your prayers over the next couple of days. Cheyenne is feeling wonderful and doing Great, but the left eye and the partial paralysis on the left side of her face is not fun.

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, June 15, 2004 8:43 PM CDT

NEW PHOTOS OF CHEYENNE AND BLACKJACK

UPDATE 11pm

I just found out that Karl, Kody's dad, was admitted into the hospital today. He is one Great dad and a friend. Please remember him in your prayers tonight. The K family really needs him at home, all well, safe and sound. Thank you.

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Cheyenne is making a habit out of having GREAT days, feeling Great, doing Great, and having GREAT FUN in the process.

This morning we stopped by my old office to see all my friends (and so Cheyenne could hug a few) and also Mom, since she works in the same building.

After taking mom and Diana to lunch we returned home to catch up on some work around the house, but not before hitting Walmart. Of course Walmart has CLAW MACHINES!!! Fifty cents later, Cheyenne walked away with a big "Hulk" stuffed doll. Well, it seems that her sister is the biggest Hulk fan in the world, so I know that Cheyenne went for that particular doll for her sis.

The work at home wasn't alot of fun, especially in the 100 degree heat, but as the evening went on it escalated into go karting, of course swimming, and riding Blackjack all over the place.

For the past couple of days Cheyenne designated today as "Family Fun Night". (TRANSLATION: Cheyenne picks the fun and we have to do whatever she wants!!!!! HA!) So it turned into a board game and movie with pizza night around the Fiveash household. Even though I hate board games, I actually won. An accident, but I won none the less.

If you haven't heard the GREAT news of our prayers being answered, be sure and visit Christal's site. GREAT, WONDERFUL, FANTASTIC. Thank you God!

Michael Dornauer is still in need of prayers as is Isaac and Connor. Also, as I mentioned last night, LaKota is having her scans tomorrow: Craig is having his scans on the 18th, and of course Cheyenne will be having her scans on the 17th and a visit with the Nuerosurgeon on the 18th. Also remember our sweet Celeste as she is now home and feeling better. And if you would like the receipt to a wonderful dessert, check out Celeste's site.

Thank you for all the prayers and God Bless each and every one of you.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, June 14, 2004 9:03 PM CDT

Today another GREAT day for Cheyenne. She felt really good by far most of the day. There were those moments, but we have come accustomed to those, and they passed within a minute or so.

Although we really didn't do anything crazy or fun, we had a fun day anyway. Since we had to drive to Eden, TX to drop off some wool, we stopped by my parents house near Paint Rock and had a wonderful visit. It really makes just about everyone happy when Cheyenne visits. My parents are all smiles and Cheyenne is all smiles.

After getting back home Cheyenne and Cinnamon jumped in the pool to cool off. I understand that Cheyenne also took Jessie swimming as well. Jessie is a Border Collie that is missing a leg from an accident a few years ago. We knew that Jessie loves the water, as on all hot days he sits in his water bucket.

Tonight Cheyenne is waiting for me to finish the journal so I can show her a few more songs on the keyboard. She really picks it up fast, a lot faster than me.

There are a few children that are currently in need so I thought I would list them for prayers.

Michael Dornauer is having an MRI tomorrow: Christal's surgery is tomorrow: Isaac is in the hospital with pheumonia and having an MRI tonight or tomorrow: Connor Hunley of Tn had surgery today and is starting a couple of new chemo drugs in hopes of shrinking his tumor: LaKota is having her scans on the 16th, Craig is having his scans on the 18th, and of course Cheyenne will be having her scans on the 17th and a visit with the Nuerosurgeon on the 18th. Also remember our sweet Celeste as she is now home and feeling better.

Thank you and God Bless all of you.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, June 13, 2004 10:27 PM CDT

We just love days like today. Cheyenne again felt great and had a wonderful day.

This morning was Sunday School and Church followed by a day around the house.

After spending most of the afternoon cleaning house (not that Dad and Cheyenne could make a mess staying here all day by ourselves) Cheyenne decided she wanted to ride BlackJack. Fortunately there were a few clouds in the sky and we took advantage of one blocking the sun for awhile, and Cheyenne rode Blackjack all over the pasture. I took a few photos and we will try to get a few loaded tonight or tomorrow.

Afterwards it was to the pool, Dad and Cinnamon included. I am beginning to believe that Cinnamon actually likes swimming with Cheyenne now. It is really a sight. I guess I need to snap a few photos of that as well.

Last night we had a little excitement around the house which I should mention. For all of you that live in states north of us, you might watch over the next few days to see part of West Texas blow by. Two pretty big storms sort of met over our house yesterday evening. Not a drop of rain, but the wind blew with sustained winds in excess of 60 mph and gusts up to probably 70 or 80 mph. Most of the dirt from our place is probably around Oklahoma by now, still northbound. Very little damage though, just tree limbs and shingles. Cheyenne did not like it at all.

This evening Cheyenne kept her promise and began teaching me how to play the fiddle. She is a wonderful teacher, by the way. Other than how to hold the fiddle and bow, I really don't remember much. Hopefully with repetition it will sink in. I can't read music at all, and what I do know I just learn from ear. I was able to teach Cheyenne how to play "Amazing Grace" and a few basic keyboard/piano songs on the keyboard. She really picked them up fast.

Oh, and for those that laughed at my dessert creation last night, I need to say that the dogs thought it rather tasty tonight. So, it wasn't a complete waste.

Thank you for checking on Cheyenne and for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, June 12, 2004 8:14 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a WONDERFUL day today. She felt good all day long and there were lots and lots of laughs, smiles, and fun.

This afternoon a good friend and neighbor came over and it was board games, board games, board games. After she had to leave, Cheyenne and Cinnamon hit the pool. Now I am not one to brag, BUT, Ms Cheyenne has taught Cinnamon the proper escape route from the pool (in case she ever falls in) in just 3 days. Cinnamon now knows and understands that if she swims to the steps she can get out of the pool much easier. That's my little girl, taking care of her baby.

So, now that I am retired, I thought I would try to take over a few of the household chores, with Cheyenne's help, of course. Did you know, that if you mix fresh pineapple and fresh pineapple juice into pudding while it is cooking, the end result IS NOT pudding. Who Knew?? You get a thick liquid, that is so acidic you could probably use it to remove paint. As I type, my sweet daughter and wife are laughing at me over my dessert creation tonight. OH WELL!!!!! MORE FOR ME!!!!

Thank you for checking on Cheyenne and for all the prayers for her and all the other children. Prayers DO work. I understand sweet little LaKota's fever finally broke today, I am sure thanks to all the prayers. Thank you God!

I believe Celeste is traveling today with Tami and Jeremy, so please remember them for safe travel as well as Celeste for her continued healing.

Again, thank you all, and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, June 11, 2004 10:13 PM CDT

Today was a very good feeling and a fun day for my girl Cheyenne. Throughout the entire day, I believe Cheyenne only had a tinge of nausea 2 times, and it passed very quickly. But the important thing was that Cheyenne smiled and laughed most of the day.

This afternoon, as promised, the family went to see the new Harry Potter movie. Cheyenne really, really enjoyed it.

After the movie and prior to attending a wedding this evening, Cheyenne was able to get in a little swimming. I haven't mentioned it before, but it is not just Cheyenne that goes swimming. Ever since I mentioned to Cheyenne that she has to be careful and keep the gate shut to prevent Cinnamon from falling into the pool and drowning, Cheyenne takes little Cinnamon swimming with her. She is "teaching her to swim" and also is having her learn where the steps are "just in case". Cheyenne treats that little puppy just like she is her baby. I haven't really figured out yet if Cinnamon really likes to swim, but at least she doesn't take off running in the opposite direction when Cheyenne puts on a swimsuit.

At the wedding tonight Cheyenne saw several of my former coworkers, and was pretty free with the hugs. I really worked with a bunch of great guys and girls.

Thank you all for checking on Cheyenne and for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember Cheyenne's little sister Celeste, LaKota, and Connor in your prayers.

Thank you again and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, June 10, 2004 11:30 PM CDT

The nausea made a comeback today with Cheyenne, at least for a few minutes after eating lunch at one of her favorite fast food places. Thank goodness for the bucket we carry in the car, but it did not help her embarrassment of being sick in the parking lot. I am hoping that it was the food, as I also felt bad about an hour later.

Other than that, Cheyenne had a pretty good day, probably rather boring, but a feel good day none the less. It seems as if the errand days are coming more and more, and today was an errand day all day long. Cheyenne was lucky to get in about an hour in the pool and to play with her new kittens for about an hour. The rest of the day we were on the run, all over town.

Late this evening Cheyenne did get to spend some time at Mom's work, and Cheyenne was really smiling about that.

If things work out, we have designated tomorrow as "Harry Potter" day. If we don't get too busy, we are going to try to take her to see the new Harry Potter movie. Then in the evening, we are all going to a friends wedding, so she should have a fun day tomorrow.

Also tomorrow, if we have time, Cheyenne and I have struck a deal. She is going to teach me how to read music and play the violin, and I am going to teach her a few notes on the electric keyboard. It should be interesting. I do not have a music bone in my body, and Cheyenne on the other hand, is very talented.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember to say a prayer for beautiful Celeste, LaKota, and Connor tonight.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, June 9, 2004 6:04 PM CDT

I am updating earlier than normal tonight to get a prayer request out for someone very special to us. I received an email earlier today requesting prayers for our beautiful friend Celeste. While she is on the vacation of a lifetime at the beach, she has started to experience some problems that may be tumor related.

Cheyenne asked me to post this as quickly as possible for this little girl that she loves like a sister. Cheyenne is currently at a church function and will be asking her youth group to say a prayer together for Celeste tonight as well.

Also sweet little LaKota needs our prayers more than ever as she is still running the high fever, and please remember Connor as he had his MRI's earlier today and our buddy Mitchell who experienced some problems yesterday.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, June 8, 2004 9:18 PM CDT

UPDATE 11pm

Our friend Connor Hunley is undergoing another MRI tomorrow at 12 noon CST to see if his cancer has indeed returned. His mom and dad has requested that prayers be sent their way for God to bestow his miracle of healing on sweet Connor. If you want to leave an encouraging message, Connor's web address is http://www.caringBridge.org/tn/connorhunley. Thank you

Today was pretty much a carbon copy of yesterday as far as the way that Cheyenne felt. The nausea did come and go a couple of times, but passed quickly. Today we received the medication that we were waiting for, so hopefully it will not be as hard on her stomach. That only leaves the chemo that she takes that normally causes her nausea.

We really didn't do anything special today, just hung out and drove to town to visit Diana. Cheyenne also wanted to stop by and visit Christopher's girls, but they were not at home, so it was a little disappointing for her.

After getting back home of course there was swimming, and as I write, Mom and Cheyenne are playing "Milwaukee", which is a takeoff from Monopoly. Cheyenne just loves board games, and has several. Everytime we go to the store, she goes into the game section to see which one she would want next. I am not a big board game person, but I am learning to be.

We have been toying with the idea of taking a roadtrip across the US to visit several of our friends that we have met since Cheyenne's diagnosis. We finally pulled out the map, and would you believe it, the trip would be around 5,000 miles. Ha. Talk about putting some miles on a car. Our initial idea included going to Milwaukee, Wi to visit Cheyenne's Grandmother, over to Pittsburg to see Celeste, the DC area, and then down the eastern seaboard to Florida, and then across the southern US back home. That would put us passing by several of our friends.

Of course, this is just now an idea that we are thinking about, and is tentative based upon many, many things. Alot depends on the results of the Dr appointments over the next 2 weeks, the MRI results, decisions on future treatment, etc. Then there is the financial end of it. Our son is trying to sell a truck for us, we have yet to be paid since I retired, and of course we would need that money for the trip. But at this point it is fun dreaming.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne as well as all the other children. Please remember to say an extra prayer for our friends LaKota, Celeste, and Mitchell tonight.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, June 7, 2004 9:05 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a mostly really good day again today. Her nausea came a few times but quickly passed on its own with a little love from her family.

Today was one of those errand days around our house. We had yet to change Diana's cell phone and internet service from San Antonio to San Angelo, so today was the day. Believe it or not, it took most of the day to get the services changed and get them to start working. Cheyenne wasn't really too excited about all the waiting involved, but understood.

After finally getting back home she did get in some swimming, which always makes her feel better. And then after mom came home, we had the last movie in the Lord of the Rings series to watch. We picked it up a couple of weeks ago on DVD and Cheyenne wanted to save it for a family night.

Tonight please remember our dear friend LaKota as she is fighting this beast of cancer, as well as all our other friends. Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, June 6, 2004 9:00 PM CDT

Cheyenne had another one of those really good days today, very little nausea and lots of fun.

Today was the Fiveash Family reunion in the big city of Bronte, TX. This is an annual event and most of the Fiveash's from this area attend. Unfortunately, we have never met most of our distant relatives from other states, so this is sort of a localized thing. There was lots and lots of food, very good company, and fun. After lunch, Cheyenne and the other kids walked across the street to the swimming pool for a swim, as they do every year.

Following the reunion, we stopped at Diana's apartment to drop her off, and Diana invited Cheyenne to swim in the apartment swimming pool. Sooo, it was another hour before we left, but Cheyenne had fun.

As we speak, Cheyenne is playing a new computer game she won at the reunion, the Survivor Outback game. If you didn't know, Colby Donaldson of Survivor fame is also from Christoval, the same as Cheyenne, and our older children went to school with him. Cheyenne completely adores Colby, thinks he is the best thing in the world. To her, he is the biggest TV star in the world.

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. You would not believe how much it means to some of these wonderful kids to get a card in the mail, a guestbook entry, or letter just letting them know that they are not in this fight alone.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, June 5, 2004 8:44 PM CDT

Today wasn't a completely sick free day for Cheyenne, but she did feel Great most of the day with the exception of a few minutes this afternoon. We pretty well narrowed down the medications causing most of her nausea. Of course the chemo, and she also has to take a capsule 4 times a day. We have ordered the liquid form of the capsule and hopefully it will be here monday. That should eliminate the nausea from that anyway.

Cheyenne and I spent the entire morning and part of the afternoon in town running errands and a little shopping. After returning home Cheyenne and I rode the go kart and 4 wheeler and went swimming. I believe the swimming was the best part for her. She is quite the fish. She just loves to swim.

This evening a friend from church is having a birthday party at the lake and Cheyenne is currently there. That makes it kind of quiet and lonely here without the little stink.

Thank you for checking on Cheyenne and for all the prayers for her and all the other children. Please remember Celeste, LaKota, and Mitch in your prayers tonight. Also the family of sweet Miranda Rae is without her presence on earth today, as she went to heaven this morning, so please remember them.

God Bless,

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, June 4, 2004 9:45 PM CDT

I am one pooped pop tonight, so you can imagine that Cheyenne had a GREAT day today. Cheyenne felt great all day and it was go, go, go until dear old dad couldn't go anymore.

This morning we loaded up brother Christopher's 4 wheeler, the fishing poles, and lots of water and drove to Paint Rock to my dad's ranch. He has a stock tank (dirt tank) on one of the places that usually has lots and lots of fish in it, so that is where we ended up.

Even though it was only in the 90's today, it was still hot! We fished until the heat just made it unbearable. Cheyenne had sooo much fun, but not that much luck. When I would throw my line into the water a fish would bite it almost immediately. When Cheyenne threw her's into the water, it would just sit there!!!! When she would finally get a bite, they would steal the bait. She finally landed one fish (I quit after about 10) and that was enough fishing for her.

Following the fishing, we loaded up on the 4 wheeler to take a tour of the place. Now picture us, completely in the middle of nowhere, grass about 3 feet high everywhere, and the trees so thick you could barely see 20 yards. Since we have not had livestock on the place in a couple of years, even the roads were grown up with 3 feet of grass. So as we get on, I say, "Be sure and watch out for deer, turkey, bobcats, and things." (Now what I was intending was to have her get some enjoyment out of seeing the wildlife). Cheyenne scooted up real close on the back of the 4 wheeler, and with a real serious voice asked, "I understand why we would want to watch out for the Bobcats, but why the deer and turkey?" Poor little girl, I scared the wits out of her. We did see deer, quail, turkey, but no bobcats.

Cheyenne's next concern was that I was going to get lost. About every 60 seconds she would ask, "Are you sure we aren't lost?" I had to keep assuring her, that No, I was raised on this place and know every square inch. But she never did buy that until we made it back to the truck. I think she still believes it was just luck that we found the truck.

After getting home, Cheyenne was invited over to a friend and neighbor's house to go swimming, so off she went again, finally getting home at 830 tonight.

Thank you all for checking on Cheyenne and for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember sweet little LaKota, Kaidrie and Celeste in your prayers tonight. By now Celeste should be ON THE BEACH having a blast!!!

God Bless all of you.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, June 3, 2004 10:06 PM CDT

Today was a carbon copy of yesterday as far as the way Cheyenne felt. Right after breakfast, she became sick, but then felt great the rest of the day.

It was overcast and showers all day, so it was not near as hot, but with the showers we couldn't really venture out to do anything. Today turned into a TV and boardgame kind of day.

Tomorrow we may, and the key word at this point is may, go to Cheyenne's Grandparents ranch near Paint Rock for a little fishing and fun. It rained quite a bit there today, and it may be too muddy. But we are going to wait until tomorrow before making a decision.

Well it is official. Cheyenne's next MRI is the 17th with a followup appointment/opinion with Dr Marlin the next morning on the 18th. Still not sure on the date of her appointment with the Oncologist.

Thank you for all the prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember our very good friends LaKota, Trevor and Celeste in your prayers tonight. Also Sweet Celeste is leaving for the BEACH tomorrow, so we will be praying for a safe and fun trip.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, June 2, 2004 10:13 PM CDT

Today again started a little rough for my pumpkin Cheyenne, getting sick right after her breakfast. But, the good news was that the rest of the day was nausea free.

The official Weather in San Angelo said it was 104 degrees. Our thermometer at home indicated 106 degrees. In any event, it was hot, hot, hot. Cheyenne and I tried to venture out a couple of times, but it was too draining. Cheyenne finally opted for the swimming pool by the late afternoon and turned a hot boring day into fun. Cheyenne capped off the day by attending church youth activities in San Angelo.

Thank you for checking on and praying for Cheyenne as well as all the other children. LaKota is still in need of prayers tonight, as she is having a pretty rough time, as is our buddy Trevor. Also Cheyenne's adopted caringbridge sister Celeste is scheduled for an MRI tomorrow, so please remember her in your prayers. We want Celeste to head off to the beach on friday with a Great scan.

Thank you and God Bless you,

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, June 1, 2004 10:53 PM CDT

Today was one tiring day for Diana and I, while Cheyenne on the other hand, enjoyed watching us work.

Today is the day that Diana and I moved all of her belongings into her new apartment. It was 105 degrees here today!!! So you can imagine how this went.

We made a point of moving the TV first, so Cheyenne could lay under the air conditioner watching TV while Diana and I tried to give ourselves heatstroke.

Cheyenne did experience nausea on and off again today, especially after eating her breakfast. Even though she did not do much today, it was still a long day and she was really tired when we finally came home at about 10pm tonight.

Today I contacted both Cheyenne's Oncologist and Neurosurgeon relating to scans and opinions on her current facial problems. So, hopefully we will have some answers within the next few weeks.

Also I understand that Celeste will be having an MRI this thursday, so please remember her in your prayers.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, May 31, 2004 10:17 PM CDT

Memorial day is over. I pray that everyone had a safe and happy weekend.

The BEST news of the day was that Cheyenne had a NO NAUSEA day, all day long. At one point in the day Cheyenne was outside playing on the porch and she came in and said, "I don't feel so good!" I could immediately see that her face was covered with white chalk and figured she was trying to pull one over on me. So I quickly got that real concerned look on my face and told her that she was really pale and needed to lay down. A big smile broke out on her face and she said, "Only kidding, see it's chalk." She still thinks that she fooled me.

Today wasn't a real exciting day around the house. We spent most of the day cleaning up around the house and doing normal household chores that were kind of put on hold over the past several months. It is amazing how things go to pot if you don't stay on them constantly.

Tomorrow we have an awfully lot to do, including trying to move Diana into her apartment, attempting to contact Cheyenne's Doctor's again, etc..

Please remember Michelle's family in your prayers tonight as Michelle went to Heaven as a result of this tumor they call a diffused pontine glioma. I hate this tumor, I hate all childhood tumors and I hate childhood cancer.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Also please remember all our men and women in uniform serving us all over the world today. They put themselves in harms way for us every second of everyday. God Bless you all, God Bless our military men and women, and God Bless the USA.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, May 30, 2004 10:57 PM CDT

We hope that everyone is having a GREAT Memorial Day!!!!

Other than a few very short tummy aches today, Cheyenne had a GREAT day. The tummy aches seem to be getting shorter and less severe each day. Also, again it might be our imagination, but Donna and I both thought that Cheyenne's left eye was actually better today than yesterday. Now just how awesome is that. So, for all those wonderful prayer warriors out there, please keep it up, it seems to be working a miracle!!

Today was just a church and family day, not alot of fun things done, but we were able to spend the day with Christopher. His family is away on a short vacation to Biloxi, MS and so he was without family and Cheyenne took complete advantage of it. Cheyenne sure admires her big brothers and sister.

As I visited a handful of our caringbridge friends tonight I noticed quite a few in need of prayers. Michelle of California, who suffers from this beast of a tumor, is not expected to be on this earth much longer, so please remember her and her family. Madieice of Ga, Emerald of Mi,Michaela of SD, Heidi, Katelin of Or,Rayanne of Ca are all having problems with nausea, their tummies, or just feeling really sick. Our buddy Connor Hunley just had a GREAT time in Florida, and has some really important tests coming up the first of next week, he so needs his miracle. Also LaKota is having a pretty hard time and feeling pretty poorly as she is undergoing her transplant.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, May 29, 2004 9:49 PM CDT

Talk about a Busy day! Cheyenne is pretty pooped but is still going, but I believe I just talked her into going to bed after getting out of the shower.

Last night Cheyenne spent the night at her very good friend's house, not getting to bed until after 2am. Then she was up this morning at 7 and hasn't stopped yet.

This afternoon Cheyenne attended a birthday party for another very good friend, at the Goodfellow Air Force Base Recreation Camp. They swam, ate hotdogs, cake, and had a BLAST!

As soon as we walked in the door from the party, we were informed that we were going to the graduation ceremony for 2 of Diana's friends. So it was shower, change and off again, just getting home a little while ago.

Cheyenne had a pretty good day, complaining on and off of nausea, but it never got bad enough to come up and it quickly passed.

Well, Cheyenne just sat on my lap, asking for my undivided attention on something, and just quoted, "Ok, that's all, I love you, Bye". I believe that is my cue to cut this short tonight.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne and Cheyenne's dad

Friday, May 28, 2004 10:42 PM CDT

Today Cheyenne finally felt pretty good all day long. It is sooo nice when she has those no nausea days.

Tonight Cheyenne is spending the night at a very good friends house in Mertzon, TX and we miss her terribly. I just called to hear her voice and see how she was doing. It just made me miss her more. And if you think I am bad, you should see Cinnamon. Every few minutes she looks at the window or door to see if Cheyenne is home yet.

This morning another very good friend, James, called all the way from Pittsburgh where he is spending the summer. It is so nice to have friends that care!!!!

I had one of those days today where I did a lot of thinking. We are so blessed to have the family that we have, the children that we have, and of course our dear Cheyenne. God has blessed us so much over the past 11 months with Cheyenne's health and we are so ever grateful and thankful.

As we continue to wait on word from the Doctor's on the MRI's that we requested in an attempt to determine the cause of Cheyenne's facial and eye problems, we do have some good news. The progression of her subtle facial paralysis and eye has seemed to have either greatly slowed down or stopped. It is actually pretty hard to tell since it was such a slow progression anyway, but the best we can tell it has not gotten worse over the past two weeks.

Memorial day is upon us. I don't know of anything special that we are doing, other than Cheyenne attending a birthday party tomorrow and planning on visiting family over the weekend. For those of you planning car trips, please be careful, there will lots of cars on the road.

Thank you for all the prayers for our sweetheart Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, May 27, 2004 7:21 PM CDT

We are HOME!

Unfortunately, Cheyenne's nausea has followed her home. Today she lost her breakfast, and then felt really bad on and off thoroughout the day. It seems that she feels fine until she eats, and then within seconds starts getting that sick feeling.

This round of chemo ended the 18th, and in the past the week and 1/2 after the chemo was the worse, so hopefully this is about at the end.

Cheyenne's return home had a sad aspect to it. On the 2nd day that we were gone we received a phone call that someone had accidentally left her bedroom door open. Jasmine, her beloved Gerbil, lived in her room. Apparently the cats found her and roughed her up enough that she died 2 days later. Cheyenne shed lots and lots of tears for that Gerbil. It finally subsided until we were pulling into the house, and the tears began to flow again.

Today Cheyenne's report card came in the mail. Cheyenne tore open the envelope, studied it intently, and screamed, "I passed!". Now I knew that she had missed an awfully lot of school, but I did not know that her passing was in doubt. So I had her read the grades to me. All A's with 2 very high B's.. And she was worried about passing!

Still no word from any of Cheyenne's doctors on the date of the next MRI or the other opinions that I sought. But, it has only been a week, so maybe next week.

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. I just checked on about 1/2 of our caringbridge friends, and thus far I have very good news to report. It seems that today was a pretty healthy day for our friends. Thank you God for this day!

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, May 25, 2004 5:25 PM CDT

After 2 short days on the beach, Cheyenne's magical time at the coast is now a memory. But the excitement and fun was so intense, you can bet that we will return as soon as we can.

Cheyenne swam and played in the water every chance she would get. We visited the Nueces County Beach, Padre Island Beach, Corpus Christi Beach, and well as the beach on Shoreline Drive in Corpus. Sand, sun and water!!!!!

One day we visited the Texas State Aquarium and had a wonderful time. We also intended to visit the USS Lexington (a WWII Aircraft Carrier) but time got away from us and we didn't get to make it.

Cheyenne's nausea also took a vacation, with her not feeling any sickness or nausea, at least until today. We arrived back in San Antonio this afternoon and about 10 minutes after arriving, nausea hit again. Maybe it is San Antonio. Cheyenne tells us quite frequently that she does not like San Antonio. We really don't blame her, with all the horrible treatments and memories here.

Tomorrow we hope to finish moving the apartment furniture to San Angelo and be back at Good Old Home by tomorrow evening.

Cheyenne now tells us that she is moving to Corpus Christi!! That is how much she loved the trip and loves the coast.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are such an AWESOME power. They WORK!!

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, May 22, 2004 10:16 PM CDT

This morning we did not get off as early as hoped, and didn't arrive in San Antonio until late in the afternoon.

Cheyenne has experienced on and off nausea today. Shortly after taking a morning dose of Protocel she lost her breakfast. The good news was that there appeared to be lysing material present. Then again on the trip to San Antonio Cheyenne was forced to use the "bucket". The rest of the day was pretty normal until late this evening so we decided to give her a Zofran. She now feels fairly well.

We should be on the beach by tomorrow afternoon with Cheyenne running and screaming on the sand. We will try to get lots and lots of photos. I believe Cheyenne has plans to build a huge sand castle.

Also, I am not sure if we will be able to update for a few days, but we will see. We haven't packed this computer at the apartment yet, so I was able to get online tonight.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember Connor, LaKota, and David as you say your prayers tonight.

God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, May 21, 2004 7:24 PM CDT

SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER

(:(:(: SCHOOL IS OUT FOR THE SUMMER:):):)

When Cheyenne stepped off the bus today, she jumped into the air and screamed, "YIPEEEE, School is OUT!!" My feelings exactly!

Except for a short period this afternoon, Cheyenne had another very good feeling day. This afternoon it was dear old dad's fault that Cheyenne had a touch of nausea. She takes various sorts of medication 9 times a day. Some with food, some 1/2 hour before food, some on an empty stomach, so on and so on. Well, since she takes something every 2 hours, we sometimes get a little behind on our well thought out schedule. Ten minutes here, ten minutes there, turns into an hour real easy. What happens then, is that the medication that is supposed to be taken with food, is taken on an empty stomach. Well, now we know what happens. But fortunately, 3 crackers later Cheyenne felt fine.

I believe Cheyenne now knows that Dad is all her's. But I don't know if I can keep up with her or keep her busy. After school today we rode the 4 wheeler twice, she went into the hot tub, and we played a game of Battleship. Not 3 minutes after finishing Battleship, Cheyenne looked at me and said, "I'm bored!".

Today I finally made contact with Cheyenne's Oncologist in San Antonio. I requested to move up the date of her MRI to June and add a PET scan and Spectroscopy in an attempt to determine if there is any necrosis that might be causing her partial facial paralysis and her eye problems. He agreed to the scan and to discuss possible treatments, depending on the scan results. We should have a date by next week.

Also today I emailed Dr Arthur Marlin, one of the leading pediatric nuerosurgeons in the US asking for a review of Cheyenne's MRI's and another more recent opinion on the cause of her current problems. Dr Marlin was also Cheyenne's diagnosing Nuerosurgeon.

Tomorrow we are leaving for a mini vacation and will be gone 4 or 5 days. We needed to remove the remaining furniture from the apartment in San Antonio and thought we would add a few days to it and take Cheyenne to the coast. We should be walking the beach in Corpus Christi and Padre Island by Sunday. As you know, Cheyenne really, really loves the ocean.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I know that the following children are in need of specific prayers:

LaKota starting really tough chemo in preparation of her transplant and had a pretty tough night last night; Kaidrie for her continued healing; David for the tumor progression and surgery yesterday.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, May 20, 2004 9:00 PM CDT

Cheyenne had another 1/2 day of school today. Only one more to go!! Wahoooo!! SUMMER!!!!!

After school today Cheyenne went to James' house for the afternoon. Those 2 get along soooo well. So many laughs when they are together. James is leaving for the summer shortly, so it might be a lonely summer for Cheyenne. But, the good news, James is going to Pittsburg for the summer. AND we know someone there, Miss Celeste. Sooo, our way of thinking is that what a wonderful opportunity for a summer vacation. Trip up to Pittsburg, visit awhile, and then over to Milwaukee to visit Donna's family. Then, who knows, if everything is going good, maybe continue to the trip all over the place, maybe even Florida. All at a mere $2 a gallon for gasoline (ha).

Cheyenne had another no nausea day today. Hoping and praying that it continues.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I know that the following children are in need of specific prayers:

LaKota starting really tough chemo in preparation of her transplant; Kaidrie for her continued healing; David for the tumor progression and surgery yesterday.

Also, our buddy Ryan FINISHED radiation!!!! That is such a wonderful feeling, to be through with that awful treatment.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 9:35 PM CDT

Today was a No Nausea, Feel Great kind of day for Cheyenne. It was a half day at school so she was home shortly after noon.

This evening after it started cooling off (it was in the 90's here today) Cheyenne cranked up the go kart for a few spins around the house. After awhile I heard her screaming and laughing really loud. Mom was driving the go kart and it was pay back time for Cheyenne. Even though mom was driving much slower and safer than Cheyenne ever does, I guess it feels differently from the passenger seat. Cheyenne says that she thinks her mom is nuts!!!!

To indicate how well Cheyenne felt tonight, I grilled ribs (one of her favorites) and she had 3 helpings, including 2 baked potatoes.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a mirror image of today with Cheyenne.

On the medical front, I actually got a little further regarding the HBO therapy, if needed. Today I actually spoke to the Doctor at the facility and confirmed that with a referral, they would be more than happy to have a consultation with us about treatment. But (there is always a but) he stated that since he was affiliated with Children's Methodist Hospital, they had more stringent rules than a lot of the centers regarding the acceptance of patients. Of course, like I explained yesterday, at this point we are assuming that Cheyenne's facial and eye problems are radiation necrosis related. Prior to being approved for treatment, we would have to "prove" it. The major problem at this point is that if it is indeed radiation necrosis, the sooner the treatment is done, the better chance of stopping or reversing the damage. Oh, and did I say, not one Doctor, out of all the one's we see, has ever brought up the possiblity of her problems being radiation necrosis. After we asked, they admitted that, yes, it might be. So, as we have learned, parents of children with cancer or tumors had better also be experts in the field of radiation, chemotherapy, brain tumors, etc....

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.
Tonight please remember our very good friends LaKota and David in your prayers as well as the other children.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 10:28 PM CDT

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne to feel better on this round of Chemo. She finished this round today, and had a pretty good day. I did not hear her say one time, "I don't feel so good". Your prayers worked. Thank you God and thank you everyone for the prayers.

Cheyenne felt fairly normal this morning and it was off to school. She discovered that her 2 final exams are thursday and friday, so hopefully, her good feeling days will continue.

The next three days are 1/2 days at school, so we will be looking for something to keep our little stinker busy and feeling good.

Today was Cheyenne's sister's birthday (Diana turned 20). Diana was treated to dinner at the place of her choice tonight to celebrate and chose Ichiban Japanese Steak House. It is one of those "cook at your table and throw the utensils around quite a bit place". It was a blast for Cheyenne also and she ate really well.

After getting back home Cheyenne informed me that she had math homework. Now let's see, three more 1/2 days of school, how bad could it be. NINETY PROBLEMS!!!!! We were up until 10pm doing homework. I hate to admit it, some of the questions were so difficult for me I had to guess, and by the way, I am a math person.

Today I finally received an email from Duke University Medical Center regarding a few questions I had on a possible treatment for radiation necrosis. Of course at this point we have no proof that Cheyenne is suffering from radiation necrosis, but my gut feeling is that she is. Now only about 100 more hoops to jump through to determine if we will be doing it. In case I haven't mentioned it in a couple of days, our Medical situation in the United States is pretty goofed up.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, May 17, 2004 10:46 PM CDT

This morning when it was time to get up and get to school, Cheyenne was curled up in a ball with her knees up to her chin. This means in Cheyenne talk, my tummy really feels bad!!

So, it was a no school day. Hopefully Cheyenne was right and the finals were not today at school.

Finally at around noon Cheyenne had a few hours of feeling a little ok, and I had to drag her out of the house to do some things that I just had to do in town.

Throughout the day, as long as she was busy doing something, her tummy felt well enough to not really complain, but every time we sat down, BAM the nausea came back.

Right now Cheyenne plans on school tomorrow, and with the 2 final exams, I hope she feels ok to go.

She did feel well enough to make it to Tennis practice tonight. Actually, we talked her into going just to watch, but when she got there she had to join in. She actually didn't start feeling too bad until right before bed.

This chemo is such a strange thing. Sometimes it makes her feel really bad, but then most of the time she just breezes through it.

Tonight, and over the next few days, if you have a chance please drop over and visit a few of our friends and say a prayer for them. I know that the list below looks a little overwhelming, but they are such sweet children that are fighting for their lives. When you get to know them you will love them.

Craig is going to a healing service at 10am tuesday, and his mom has requested prayers during that time: Sweet little LaKota had surgery today and has some complications and is not feeling really good tonight: Haley is still experiencing seizures several times a day: Our buddy Kody is visiting his nuero/eye doctor and it would be soooo nice to get some really good news: Little Katia did not feel really good today: Connor is continuing his fight: Paulina is suffering from nausea like Cheyenne and not feeling real well: Little Maddie from Georgia is finally getting rid of the cough, but the fever is presistent: Beautiful little Emerald just received the results of the MRI and is awaiting the Doctors to get their acts together.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all our other friends. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, May 16, 2004 9:58 PM CDT

*****ONLY 2 MORE DAYS OF CHEMO THIS ROUND*****

Today was a family day. After church and Sunday School, we drove to Paint Rock to visit my parents. Grandpa and Grandma just love to visit with Miss Cheyenne and she just loves to visit them.

On the way back home Cheyenne was still feeling great, singing out loud and playing cards with her mom. Even after arriving home Cheyenne was singing and dancing, feeling Great. Shortly before 7pm the chemo seemed to hit Cheyenne pretty hard. One minute she was in the hot tub having fun, the next she was one sick little girl. After awhile we finally convinced her to eat something and eventually got her mind off her stomach by watching TV and playing cards with her. But you could still tell that her tummy felt just awful.

It is a little early in the round for her to get this sick, so we are really going to watch her this round. One of the reasons that we have stayed with Temodar is because she tolerates it so very well.

A very bright moment came when we first arrived home and Cheyenne noticed a message on the answering machine. Sweet little birthday girl Celeste left the most beautiful message for Cheyenne. As sick as Cheyenne was, she made it a point to call Celeste and tell her happy birthday and that she loves her.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. A few of our friends are in need of extra prayers over the next few days and we have several that have been blessed with good news lately.

Craig will be having a healing service at 10am tuesday, and his mom has requested prayers during that time. Sweet little LaKota is also still in need of prayers as she continues her fight and Haley is still experiencing seizures several times a day.

Also join me in praising God for Celeste and Christal celebrating their 5th and 6th birthdays this weekend, Kaidrie improving daily, Jessie getting some really good news on her tests and for Haley's recent MRI showing a STABLE MRI.

Thank you Lord for watching over all of our wonderful friends.

Thank you and God Bless all of you.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, May 15, 2004 10:21 PM CDT

As anticipated, today was a very busy day for Cheyenne and the family. Cheyenne and I slept in for a change, and it felt GOOD. Even Cheyenne commented about how good she felt not having to get up at 630 or 7 in the morning.

We spent all afternoon today at a going away party for some friends that are tranferring to Washington DC. There was good food and good friends. Cheyenne really didn't have much to do, and it kind of showed after being there awhile with the frowning face. But she latched on to one of our friends little girl and had a blast baby sitting and playing on the playground with her.

After the going away party, to make up for that frown on her face, we went to an impromtu movie. That brought the smile back.

So far so good on resuming the chemo. Cheyenne has not gotten sick at all yet, we hope that it continues. Normally it hits her about the end of the round and goes on for a week or so. But there have been some rounds that she just flew through with no nausea at all.

Only 5 more days of school!!!!!!!!!! Cheyenne has several days of half days, but also has 2 final exams.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I haven't had much of a chance to visit several of our friends websites the last few days, but hopefully I will have a little more free time in the next few days.

Again, Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, May 14, 2004 9:37 PM CDT

DAY ONE OF THIS ROUND OF CHEMO IS OVER! 4 MORE TO GO!

We LOVE days like today. Cheyenne felt GREAT all day, and had lots and lots of fun and games.

After school her friends, James and John, came over for a few hours. First they rode horses, then they rode in the go kart (all over the entire place), then it was trampoline time, and then board games. Whew, it made me tired watching them. They actually wanted to swim also, but it was real chilly last night and didn't warm up much today, so mom and dad said, "Nope"!

Today they laughed so hard and so much the laughing should have made them tired. At one point when they were on the go kart and were at least 300 yards from the house, they were laughing so hard and making so much noise I thought one of them was being killed. I actually went down to check on them just to find them laughing hysterically.

If I am not mistaken, the next two days are preplanned. We have full days both days.

ONLY ONE MORE WEEK OF SCHOOL!!!!!

Thank you for checking on Cheyenne and for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, May 13, 2004 9:41 PM CDT

We have been experiencing a few power outages due to a storm in the area, so tonight's journal will be short.

Cheyenne had a good feeling day all day today, no sickness or nausea.

After coming home from school Cheyenne was singing and dancing, a good sign around our household.

Later in the evening Cheyenne's class had a Band Concert at school. Cheyenne is first chair Baritone. For their first year, the kids were really good. At the conclusion of the concert, Cheyenne's friend, James, received the Director's Award for all his outstanding hard work over the year.

Tomorrow morning Cheyenne resumes her Temodar chemo. We are praying that it is easy on her stomach this round. She seems to have a much weaker stomach since she has started chemo. We have even thought that the chemo may have given her an ulcer, as some of her nausea is accompanied with pain.

TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!!!!! YIPPEE!! Then only 1 week left of school, and most of it is half days.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, May 12, 2004 8:58 PM CDT

Today started out alright, with Cheyenne getting off to school for the day. Just after 10am she called, saying that she had thrown up at school, didn't feel well and wanted to come home.

When I picked her up she complained of a headache and feeling bad all over. The headache and throwing up brought on thoughts of the tumor, however after being home about 10 minutes the headache went away followed by the upset stomach a short while later.

After a swim Cheyenne felt much better and dedicated her time to the art of braclet making. She felt fine for the most part of the remaining day, except for about 15 minutes just before dinner. The good news about her nausea, is that Cheyenne said she examined it, and it was Protocel lysing.

As is becoming the norm around here, we needed something in town and just got back from a short Walmart shopping experience. What is it there? You can buy just a couple of things, and WHAM, it's over a hundred dollars!!

In the mail today came a package from my very good friend and former co-worker Maggie, from San Antonio. So now, just in time for the remainder of the playoffs, Cheyenne has her very own Tim Duncan basketball jersey. Thank you Maggie!! I only wish I could have taken a photo of her when she opened it, jumping up and down, smiling from ear to ear and yelling!!

As I type, Cheyenne is feeling GREAT, and mom has her under house arrest, sitting at the table writing Thank You letters. She is only about a month behind!!! I know that Cheyenne also has homework tonight, so it looks like it might be a late night for the little stink.

Thank you everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. All of our caringbridge friends need prayers every single day. I know that it is hard, because our prayer list is unbelieveably long, but it means so much to them and helps them so very much.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, May 11, 2004 8:15 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a Great day today, feeling great and having fun. Of course, this morning was a school day, and we barely got Cheyenne to school in time. We arrived after the first bell but before the 2nd, luckily.

Diana and I picked up Cheyenne from the school bus to go into town and pick up some parts to fix the old truck that Diana is driving. While in town Cheyenne convinced us to stop by Hobby Lobby so she could buy a "couple" of colors of Craft Thread to make a few more braclets. By the time we left Hobby Lobby she had a few more than a "couple". She now has enough embroidery yarn to make braclets for half the population of Texas.

After hitting the snow cone stop on the way home Cheyenne came home and swam. As dinner was almost ready she put in a movie and told us we were having "Dinner and a Movie". So, that is where she and her sister sit, watching a movie.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Tonight Connor is in need of prayers, and his mom specifically asked for prayers tomorrow at 2pm. Connor's website is http://www.caringbridge.org/tn/connorhunley/ if you want to drop by and leave a message. Also please remember little LaKota and Kaidrie as they go through their struggles.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, May 10, 2004 10:22 PM CDT

This morning we were up early and at Cheyenne's Doctor appointment by 10am. After a short physical most of the talk revolved around chemotherapy drugs, of which none has yet to be found that meet the protocol criteria and which we would be interested in. Dr Estrada did say he would start researching Phase I trials and call us in the event he found one that sounds promising. I personally do not like or trust Phase I trials, but that is just me. It is possible that I could be convinced if there was a good one out there. I understand their use, but I don't particularly like the fact that they would be experimenting on my child. In the interim, we did decide to resume Temodar. After rethinking it, Dr Estrada feels that Cheyenne may still get some good out of it.

The only symptoms noted during the physical were the one's that we were already aware of. For some time Cheyenne's left eye has been getting progressively worse and some time ago the progression started involving the left side of her face as well. The changes or paralysis is somewhat subtle at this point, but has definately gotten a little worse over the past several weeks. We are again left with the million dollar question, is it tumor progression, nerve damage, or radiation damage?

Cheyenne's Doctor thinks it could be either and we spoke about doing a series of different MRI's next MRI schedule to try make a determination. If it is tumor progression, then our options might involve Phase I trials, if it is radiation damage, there is little that can be done, although I have found one possibility. Radiation necrosis stops when it wants to, sometimes reverses itself somewhat, and sometimes does not stop. It all depends on the individual and the radiation that was received.

After the Doctor's appointment Cheyenne swam while we loaded most of Diana's belongings into the truck to bring back to San Angelo. It took a lot longer than I expected, and we did not get back in time for Cheyenne's tennis lesson.

Oh, for you investors out there, do not invest in Claw Machine stock just yet. I am afraid that the Claw Machine market may be devastated after our trip back to San Angelo today. At every stop along the way Cheyenne visited a machine. She still has it. She added 5 stuffed animals to her collection today. It is a good thing that she sends some of them to friends, as our house is not big enough to hold all the stuffed animals that she has won.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Tonight when you say your prayers please say an extra prayer for our friends: sweet little Lakota and Kaidrie, Connor, and Maddies family.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, May 9, 2004 6:59 PM CDT

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MOTHERS OUT THERE!!!!

Today was one full day for the Fiveash family. We were up early this morning (but not that early) and met Christopher and his family at the San Antonio Zoo.

There we walked approximately 1 million, 3 hundred thousand miles. Actually, it was lots and lots of fun, even though poor old dad could barely keep up with Cheyenne.

Cheyenne had a some special fun at the Zoo today. She got a new camera yesterday and was taking photos of everything. I can't wait to see the photos. Of course Mom had her camera going, so I am sure that there will be some new photos soon on the website.

After the Zoo, and a good Mother's day lunch we made it back to Diana's apartment for SWIMMING!!!

We are packing Diana's apartment in advance of her move back to San Angelo. Her last tests for the Semester were Friday and she has decided to move back to San Angelo to be closer to us. How SWEET is that?? Right now Cheyenne is standing on a stool changing a light bulb and screaming with joy as it is the first time she has ever changed a light bulb. It doesn't take much to keep her happy!!!!

We have ordered a Pappa John's Dinner and a Movie tonight so we should have a good quiet night just hanging out in the apartment.

Tomorrow is the Doctor's appointment. Hopefully we will blow this joint by 2 or 3 tomorrow afternoon and make it back in time for Cheyenne's tennis lesson. She loves her tennis!!!! Thinking about it, she loves just about everything!!!

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers for our little girl Cheyenne and all the other children. Our faith is and continues to be in the Lord.

Tonight when you say your prayers please say an extra prayer for our friends: sweet little Lakota and Kaidrie, Connor, and Maddies family.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, May 8, 2004 9:12 PM CDT

We finally made it out of San Angelo around noon, arriving in San Antonio at around 4pm today. Early Monday morning Cheyenne has a Doctor's appointment and we thought we would make a weekend of it in San Antonio. So far the only thing planned is a trip to the San Antonio Zoo tomorrow where we will hopefully be meeting Christopher and his family. Cheyenne should have a blast spending the day with McKayla and Madison at the Zoo.

We don't really know what to expect from the Doctor's appointment monday other than a bill. We know that he has not found another treatment that has promise, and since Cheyenne has not been on Chemo for a little over a month, there will be no reason for blood counts taken. So we assume he will do the standard tests and possibly talk about various Phase I trials that are currently ongoing across the nation.

Please remember beautiful Maddie's family tonight in your prayers. It has to be so hard without their little girl with them.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Saturday, May 8, 2004 2:15 AM CDT

UPDATE May 7, 2004

It is with deep sadness that I tell you that our very, very close friend Maddie went to be with the Lord yesterday evening. We have loved Maddie since the day we met her and Cheyenne loves her as a sister. She was the most inspiring teenager that I have ever had the opportunity to know and we will miss her beautiful presence here on earth horribly. The world was a better place with Maddie in it, and I know that Heaven is now a better place. Maddie is now free of this tumor, no pain, no medication, no worry, no cancer. Maddie, we love you and will miss you, but will see you again in God's own time.

_______________________________________
Saturday, May 8, 2004 2:15 AM CDT

I guess it’s my turn to update, not that I believe you have to update everyday, but Roy does, and he was too exhausted, he went to bed early (12:00 midnight). I’m sure that the news of sweet Maddie took its toll on him. He called me at work and I knew he was not taking it well. Of course none of us did. I came home early so that we could get to “Relay for Life” on time. We both picked Cheyenne up from the school bus. She was smiling as usual, talking about getting home and finishing up the paintings, and finishing up Maddies bracelet to get it into the mail. (She has learned a new way of making these little bracelets by knotting embroidery yarn). We then had to tell her that Maddie was gone from us now. She got real angry and said “that was not supposed to happen.”
Chey then preoccupied herself in TV land with no further discussion on the matter. She didn’t pick up any crafts to finish today. We all know that this is not supposed to happen, not to our children. We just Praise Christ for sending the Holy Spirit to comfort us.

Dear Lord why can’t just one (or several thousand) live to serve, and testify of the great mercies You has shown. To the Glory of God.

We left an hour or so later for “Relay for Life”. It was more of a wonderful celebration for the Survivors then a fund raiser for cancer. The people clapped and cheered the survivors walking the first lap, Roy and I both walked with Chey on her request, along with our pastor from church, pastor Chester who is also a survivor. All was good, until I noticed a woman on the side lines crying her heart out while looking at all of us with such pity; I suddenly felt the pain she felt. I couldn’t help but cry also, briefly, (without Cheyenne knowing), because I don’t want to be here, in the middle of cancer either. I can hardly believe this is now our journey too, fighting with our baby. I’m sure every parent says the same thing, “Why not me instead of them”. Only with grace of God can we endure this which is put before us.
God help us!

After the Relay, we went to see a movie and then for a bite to eat. Nothing was especially fun tonight, but there is always Hope for tommorow.

Well, now you know why I don’t journal to often.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
With God’s Blessings and Love,

Donna

Saturday, May 8, 2004 2:15 AM CDT

Thursday, May 6, 2004 8:02 PM CDT

UPDATE May 7, 2004

It is with deep sadness that I tell you that our very, very close friend Maddie went to be with the Lord yesterday evening. We have loved Maddie since the day we met her and Cheyenne loves her as a sister. She was the most inspiring teenager that I have ever had the opportunity to know and we will miss her beautiful presence here on earth horribly. The world was a better place with Maddie in it, and I know that Heaven is now a better place. Maddie is now free of this tumor, no pain, no medication, no worry, no cancer. Maddie, we love you and will miss you, but will see you again in God's own time.

_______________________________________

I guess it’s my turn to update, not that I believe you have to update everyday, but Roy does, and he was too exhausted, he went to bed early (12:00 midnight). I’m sure that the news of sweet Maddie took its toll on him. He called me at work and I knew he was not taking it well. Of course none of us did. I came home early so that we could get to “Relay for Life” on time. We both picked Cheyenne up from the school bus. She was smiling as usual, talking about getting home and finishing up the paintings, and finishing up Maddies bracelet to get it into the mail. (She has learned a new way of making these little bracelets by knotting embroidery yarn). We then had to tell her that Maddie was gone from us now. She got real angry and said “that was not supposed to happen.”
Chey then preoccupied herself in TV land with no further discussion on the matter. She didn’t pick up any crafts to finish today. We all know that this is not supposed to happen, not to our children. We just Praise Christ for sending the Holy Spirit to comfort us.

Dear Lord why can’t just one (or several thousand) live to serve, and testify of the great mercies You has shown. To the Glory of God.

We left an hour or so later for “Relay for Life”. It was more of a wonderful celebration for the Survivors then a fund raiser for cancer. The people clapped and cheered the survivors walking the first lap, Roy and I both walked with Chey on her request, along with our pastor from church, pastor Chester who is also a survivor. All was good, until I noticed a woman on the side lines crying her heart out while looking at all of us with such pity; I suddenly felt the pain she felt. I couldn’t help but cry also, briefly, (without Cheyenne knowing), because I don’t want to be here, in the middle of cancer either. I can hardly believe this is now our journey too, fighting with our baby. I’m sure every parent says the same thing, “Why not me instead of them”. Only with grace of God can we endure this which is put before us.
God help us!

After the Relay, we went to see a movie and then for a bite to eat. Nothing was especially fun tonight, but there is always Hope for tommorow.

Well, now you know why I don’t journal to often.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
With God’s Blessings and Love,

Donna

Thursday, May 6, 2004 8:02 PM CDT

UPDATE May 7, 2004

It is with deep sadness that I tell you that our very, very close friend Maddie went to be with the Lord yesterday evening. We have loved Maddie since the day we met her and Cheyenne loves her as a sister. She was the most inspiring teenager that I have ever had the opportunity to know and we will miss her beautiful presence here on earth horribly. The world was a better place with Maddie in it, and I know that Heaven is now a better place. Maddie is now free of this tumor, no pain, no medication, no worry, no cancer. Maddie, we love you and will miss you, but will see you again in God's own time.

_______________________________________

Today was another good day for Cheyenne, feeling great all day.

After school Cheyenne wanted to finish the paintings that she is doing for the Quilting Angels and a few bracelets that she is making to send to her caringbridge friends. So after a quick dip in the pool, it was inside to work on her projects. Most of the paintings are in water color, and they have to be done over time so the paint doesn't intermingle. So this is turning into a several day affair.

As we were waiting for pizza to come out of the oven, Cheyenne took me riding on the 4 wheeler, all over the pasture. We now only let her drive if I am on the back to "SUPERVISE". This of course is after the incident a few months ago which resulted in Christopher's 4 wheeler being parked and the go kart being purchased.

Today Cheyenne brought home a weekly listing of her cardio exercises for the past school year. I knew that she was athletic, but had no idea how many pushups, situps, etc. that she could do in one minute. Over the year, ending today, she averaged approximately 100 jump ropes, 60 step ups, 45 sit ups, 45 push ups, and 60 dips, all in a minute. Wish I could do just half of that.

Tomorrow is the Relay for Life here in San Angelo. I spoke to the American Cancer Society today and Cheyenne will be taking the Survivor Lap at the relay at around 530 pm.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all of the other children. Prayers are an awesome power. God Bless you all.

Tonight sweet little Kaidrie is still in need of prayers. She has come out of the drug induced coma and we are praying feverently that there was no damage from swelling. Thank you!

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, May 5, 2004 8:33 PM CDT

This morning started with me thinking about Cheyenne staying home for the day. Not for her, but for me. I decided it was too selfish, that she enjoys school and her friends so much. I just felt clingy today and wanted to sit and hold her and be around her all day. Only 12 more days of school left.

I did get to give Cheyenne a few hugs this morning at school. She forgot something at home and called to ask if I would mind bringing it. Of course, when I delivered it I bribed her into giving me several hugs before going back to class. She probably thought I was crazy.

After school, it was back into the pool. That girl could swim 8 hours a day.

After herding the sheep into the pasture, Cheyenne is painting a few watercolored pictures for the Quilting Angels. I am pretty sure that their auction is in a few days so we have to hurry and get them in the mail. They are such a great organization, they help keep us going day to day and bring untold smiles to little faces daily.

God Bless you all and thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, May 4, 2004 9:30 PM CDT

The first thing Cheyenne told me when I met her at the school bus today was, "I had a GREAT day, How about you." I never did get out of her why her day was GREAT, but as long as it was, that is ok with me.

After school, it was again swimming, swimming and swimming. She just loves to swim. And, if you are from West Texas, you know that it has been really chilly here for the past few nights, so I know that the water is COLD!

Even though we live 16 miles from town, and I had already made a trip into town today, and gasoline is almost $2 a gallon, Cheyenne just had to go to town this evening. It seems that she has now decided to start making braclets to give to her friends and didn't have the materials. After a quick trip to Hobby Lobby we finally came back home just about bed time. That was when Miss Cheyenne informed me, "Oh, by the way, I have homework.". AWWGGG!

Donna and I are still researhing various treatments, and talking constantly about whether we should make a few changes with Protocel. Cheyenne's next Doctor's appointment is Monday in San Antonio, and we will find out if her Doctor has any new treatments to offer that are worthwhile. Over the past couple of months Cheyenne has had a few changes relating to her left eye and left side of her face which are very scary. Fortunately, they have all been very slow and fairly minor at this point, but the fact that there are changes is really bothering us.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, May 3, 2004 9:56 PM CDT

Cheyenne was up early this morning, feeling good and ready for school. She says that she had a GREAT day in school, and felt good all day.

This afternoon I was the lucky one to be able to meet the schoolbus and pickup Cheyenne. She justs makes me so happy when she sees us waiting for her. She smiles real big, jumps off the bus and always gives us a big hug and kiss. She is such a sweet daughter.

After getting in about an hour of swimming, it was time to head to tennis practice. I couldn't believe that these were the same kids from last week. They improved so much, it was unbelieveable. I know with Cheyenne, we only practiced hitting the ball around twice over the past week. But it is pretty hard not having a fenced tennis court to stop the balls. Dad becomes the "ball chaser"

Today was a pretty momentous day for me. A few weeks ago we made the decision that I should become a full time dad for Cheyenne. Today was my last day at work, retiring after almost 26 years. I know that I am really too young to retire, but my work at home is much more important than the work that I was doing. One thing about it, it sure made Cheyenne happy.

I actually posted the following last night, but I know many did not see it, so I am repeating it tonight.

There is a gentleman by the name of Paul who is with the CBM Ministries of East Tennesee. Paul does many things for the Lord, but included are a website Ministry and a broadcast on a Christian Radio Station. A few days ago he asked if he could share something off Cheyenne's website with his listeners and on his website. Yesterday's Epistle lesson based on Cheyenne was what he shared. You can visit it at www.uncpaul.com .

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, May 2, 2004 7:31 PM CDT

This tumor that they call a Diffuse Pontine Glioma, claimed another sweet little girl within the past few days. I mentioned sweet little Savannah last night, but I did not yet know that sweet little Taylor had also grown her wings on the 30th. Please remember their familes during this time. Both of these little girls fought so long and hard, and now they are tumor, cancer, and pain free.

-----------------------------------------------------------

This morning Diana had an accident in her car, no injuries, but probably 4 to 5 thousand dollars in damage, minimum. What makes this a little worse, is that this is the 2nd time, so I am sure the insurance company will not be too excited. We really didn't need the extra expense or the stress at this time.

Due to the accident, Cheyenne, Diana and I missed church, but were able to meet mom afterwards to take her to a birthday lunch.

This afternoon Christopher and McKayla came over to celebrate Donna's birthday. We had cake courtesy of Diana and Cheyenne.

The rest of the day for Cheyenne was spent playing and babysitting with McKayla while Christopher and I worked on an old truck so Diana would have something to drive back to San Antonio this evening. This is finals week, so she couldn't be late.

Cheyenne had a touch of nausea again today, right after eating lunch, but right now is in the pool having fun and taking her mind off her tummy.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Also remember their parents, if you will, as this is an extremely hard journey.

God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

_______________________________________

UPDATE

I just had to share this with you tonight. There is a gentleman by the name of Paul who is with the CBM Ministries of East Tennesee. Paul does many things for the Lord, but included are a website Ministry and a broadcast on a Christian Radio Station. A few days ago he asked if he could share something off Cheyenne's website with his listeners and on his website. Today's Epistle lesson was what he shared. You can visit it at www.uncpaul.com .

Saturday, May 1, 2004 8:03 PM CDT

Today Cheyenne felt really good, other than a short headache and tummy ache that hit this afternoon, but it was a fun day.

This morning Cheyenne and I went shopping. Tomorrow is Donna's birthday (29 years old and holding) and we had not found anything that really called out to us yet. After going all over town, Cheyenne finally picked out the perfect gifts. One from her and Diana and one from me. She has good taste.

At 230 I dropped Cheyenne off at the movie theater with James and his mom. James won 2 tickets to the theater the other night at the dance and asked Cheyenne to go with him. I believe they were seeing something called "13 going on 30".

After the movie, Cheyenne BEGGED to stay over at James' house for board games and rented movies. So we have been Cheyenneless all afternoon. We really miss her right now and will probably have to FORCE her to come home in a few minutes.

I have not had an opportunity to visit many of our caringbridge friends yet, so hopefully tonight. I do know that sweet little Savannah became one of Heaven's newest angels from this tumor last night. Please remember her family as they go through this horrible period, being without their little one.

Thank you and God Bless all of you.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, April 30, 2004 10:36 PM CDT

This morning Cheyenne and I had the honor of being asked to participate in Cheyenne's brother's (Christopher's) promotion ceremony at Goodfellow Air Force Base. Christopher was promoted to Staff Sargeant today, after slightly over 3 years in the Air Force. CONGRATULATIONS CHRISTOPHER!!!! During the ceremony, Cheyenne and I were invited up to the front to "Pin" his stripes on him. I couldn't tell who was the prouder, Cheyenne of her brother, or Christopher of Cheyenne.

Following the ceremony, Diana took Cheyenne to school to spend the rest of the day.

As usual, immediately after getting home from school, Cheyenne was in the pool, laughing, splashing and having fun.

The real highlight of the evening came when Cheyenne received a phone call from one of the sweetest girls in the world. Celeste called. This time I think Cheyenne did most of the talking. You should have seen Cheyenne's face. She hasn't smiled that much in a long time. After hanging up, Cheyenne was quick to say, "You know, I really love Celeste, she is like a little sister to me!" Also, I was finally able to officially meet Jeremy over the phone, Hi Jeremy!!!

This evening, to celebrate Christopher's promotion, we all went out for dinner. Unfortunately, after eating appetizers, Cheyenne really didn't feel like eating much of her dinner. She said she was feeling bad all over. It does seem that when she goes too much, she gets really tired and winds up not feeling well late. But, she is one person that is really hard to slow down. She wants to go and go every minute of the day.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, April 29, 2004 7:22 PM CDT

This morning found Cheyenne just a little tiny bit under the weather. She said that her tummy didn't feel real good, but once she started moving around, it improved greatly. Then came Protocel time. She didn't really get sick, but she said she was just about as close as she could get without actually throwing up. This went on for about 2 to 3 minutes, until she was able to eat something, then it eased off.

It was a normal day in school, and when her sister picked her up she was all smiles.

Donna and I came home from work to find the porch decorated with various bright colors of sidewalk chalk. Lots of "Mom and Dad, I Love You", "I love my sister", etc, along with lots of drawings. It really brightens our day to be welcomed home to that.

This evening Cheyenne has taken me on the 4 wheeler into the pasture, and had me help her target practice with her brother's old pump BB gun. No live animals, only plastic bottles. What amazed me was that she was hitting the target every time at up to 40 yards. Not bad for a 12 year old with a BB gun.

Right now Cheyenne is on her bike with Mom and Diana as they take a walk. They are getting into the healthy, I want to lose weight phase. I guess I should really think about it, but not too seriously.

Tomorrow is FRIDAY.....YIPPEEEE! We just love Fridays. Tomorrow something special is planned for the morning, but I don't want to spoil it for Cheyenne.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.

One of our special friends, Kaidrie, also with a dpg, has had her share of problems as of the last few days, and is currently in the hospital in a coma. Please join me in praying for her, her family, as well as the medical professionals caring for her so she can get back home with her family.

Also little Katia is not feeling real well right now, and we are also praying that she will be able to come home from the hospital sooner than expected.

Some good news to report, our caringbridge friend Jordan Belcher, who is in the hospital as the result of complications following a very serious traffic accident, is improving daily. She is a true miracle in progress.

Then there is Christal, who had a few scary days the other day after a not so good MRI, additional tests proved the earlier one to be wrong. Thank you God for these wonderful reports.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, April 28, 2004 7:47 PM CDT

We love these days that Cheyenne feels so well. It was an enjoyable day for her, feeling great, and going to school all day. I believe she finished her Achievement tests today, so I am assuming that tomorrow school returns to normal. Since school lets out this year on May 21, it won't be long before the kids have a few days off, 1/2 days, field trips, etc. It should be an exciting next few weeks for Cheyenne, except for the final exams.

As soon as I came home from work, Cheyenne, her mom and sister left to take Cheyenne to a church function. Tonight is youth lessons and activities. After the lessons I believe that they were going to Mr Gatti's for pizza and fun. It is kind of lonely around here, but they should be home soon.

Oh, speaking of Cheyenne's sister, when Diana went to classes on Monday, she realized that she did not have a class after tuesday. Sooooo, since she was ALREADY missing us, she came back home last night. We are one big happy family tonight.

Today I again spoke to Dr Estrada in San Antonio. Still nothing as far as possible treatments, but we have scheduled another appointment in a couple of weeks.

A very nice lady that reads Cheyenne's journal everyday sent some information on a new chemotherapy agent called Alimta (chemical name pemetrexed). It was FDA approved last month after 11 years of trials. It was approved for the treatment of Mesothelioma (a lung cancer) but has shown very encouraging results with solid tumors. I have been researching it most of the evening, but I have just as many questions now as I did before doing the research. I have access to several Medical websites and have read several of the studies. Brain tumors are a strange thing, with the brain barrier and all. I haven't found information yet on whether it penetrates the brain barrier, or whether it will affect an astrosytoma. Even though they don't classify diffuse pontine gliomas as to the type of tumor, we believe Cheyenne's is an astrosytoma by the way it presents itself on the MRI. Also the toxicity of the chemo agent appears to be fairly harsh. It has been greatly improved in the last year by including additional drugs and vitamins, but the side effects appear that they may still be quite severe, especially if the person is allergic. But, that is what the Doctors get paid for. We do the initial research and bring it up to the Doctor, but it will be Dr Estrada that does the intense research to see if it is plausible, and determine the risk versus benefit. But in the end, it is still our decision as parents, so it is good to be informed.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I understand sweet little LaKota is having a few difficulties after her surgery, so please remember her in your prayers.

Again, Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 9:06 PM CDT

Today was another school day for Cheyenne, taking an Achievement test all day. Tomorrow Cheyenne expects to finish the acheivement test, then I guess it will be back to school as normal, homework and all. Can you tell that I am not that fond of homework??

After school, Cheyenne did not have anyone over, and she didn't go to anyone's house. A very different day!! So, this evening it was mom and dad time. We actually like to have more time with her, but she so enjoys her friends, and we can't rob her of that.

She swam, rode her bike, practiced tennis, and drug us into the house for games, and more games, and more games, and more games........

Today Dr Estrada, Cheyenne's oncologist called. He has not yet found any promising treatment in case the tumor has recurred, although he is still looking and calling all over the country. We spoke at length about various treatments. He agrees with me that a Phase One trial is not an option at this time. Generally the big hospitals try to sell the Phase One trials, but in essence they are only guesses, and generally just to attempt to determine the toxicity levels that children can take, dosages, etc.

Since Cheyenne's symptoms really have not worsened over the past few weeks, he was reconsidering continuing the Temodar. However, we finally decided that we would hold off all chemo for awhile to let her little body recuperate from the last 10 months of chemo. If additional symptoms appear or current symptoms worsen, he would recommend restarting the Temodar again.

If you get a chance tonight, jump over to Maddie's site and read her journal. Her journal entry pretty much sums up the feelings and fears that our children go through. They hide it so well. They are so brave and caring for others.

Thank you for the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please say an extra prayer for sweet little LaKota tonight, that her one kidney starts growing and picking up the job of the one that had to be removed.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, April 26, 2004 10:54 PM CDT

Another good school day with NO HOMEWORK. Since the kids are taking an Achievement test over the next couple of days, I am assuming that we have a few days off from homework.

When I came home from work, there was Cheyenne in the pool with a friend, splashing and laughing. If you remember, when she was first diagnosed, she was in the pool everyday. I believe the pool is her escape, therapy so to speak. Even during the worse days of radiation, she could jump in the pool and have fun.

Today was the first ever tennis lesson that Cheyenne has had. Even the first time she has picked up a tennis racket. You know what, for the first time, she didn't do too bad. It might be a few months before she is ready for the Wimbledon, but you have to start somewhere!!

I can't thank you enough or explain how much the prayers that you offer help Cheyenne and the other children. Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, April 25, 2004 10:56 PM CDT

I am so excited about something I just read, I have to share it.

There is a beautiful young lady named Jordan Belcher that not too long ago had a very serious traffic accident. As a result of injuries from the accident and many, many complications, Jordan has been fighting for her life in recent weeks. Cheyenne and I frequently visit her caringbridge site and pray for her every single day. Today our prayers are being answered. Today Jordan improved so much, she began talking, reading and proving that her memory is still there!! Thank you God!!

When prayers are answered, it does something to me and I just have to share it.

___________________________________________________________

Today was another one of those active and busy days for Cheyenne.

Fortunately for the whole family, since we were up so late last night, there was no Sunday School this morning. So we were able to sleep in a little later than normal, making it to church by 1030.

By the time we arrived home from Church, Cheyenne was ready to hit the swimming pool. Shortly afterwards, her friends James and John came over and they swam all day. Now the bad news of the day is that even though we bought suntan lotion at Walmart before coming home, Cheyenne forgot to put it on and was burned pretty badly this afternoon. Hopefully she won't be in much pain tomorrow.

This evening we made it to Cheyenne's brother Michael's house for a birthday party for Bryce. Bryce turned 9 today. We ended the day at the party, getting home just in time to get the little stink in the shower and in bed by 1030, only 1 1/2 hours late.

Cheyenne is already looking forward to tomorrow evening. Her first tennis lesson ever is at 7pm tomorrow. This should be interesting.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers work. Miracles do happen. Thank you God for all our Blessings.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, April 24, 2004 11:43 PM CDT

Today was a dream day for Cheyenne. She felt good and was busy doing the things that she loves.

This evening Cheyenne and the family attended the Martial Arts Academy Annual Awards Banquet in San Angelo. These people are our extended family. They all are such good friends, just like family. Sifu Ector Troncoso puts on the best Awards Banquet in the Karate world.

Tonight Cheyenne received a special plaque from Sifu. The beautiful plaque contained a photo of Cheyenne sparring in the last tournament and the last sparring match she was in prior to diagnosis. We remember that fight well. Cheyenne was sparring a girl twice her size, that completely knocked her out of the ring 3 times. Cheyenne was able to overcome and win that match. If you haven't noticed , our little girl has the heart of a lion.

We had to leave the Martial Arts Awards Banquet a little early inorder to make it to the Christoval Jr High Awards Dance. We missed the actual Awards Banquet at school, but hopefully Cheyenne will receive her awards at school. The dance was soooooo much fun. Cheyenne has so many wonderful friends at school. She danced and jumped all night. She is really one pooped little girl right now, but boy did she have fun.

Apparently when she didn't go to school last Friday, the rumor started in school that she was taken to San Antonio to the hospital. Don't know where that one started! There were alot of surprised and happy kids to see her tonight, jumping and dancing, and keeping up with the best of them.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are an awesome power. Thank you.

God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, April 23, 2004 8:19 PM CDT

This morning on the way to school, Cheyenne said she just not feel real good, so we came back home and made a day of it.

This gave us the opportunity to go with Diana apartment shopping this morning, and hopefully we found a good one. She will not move back until this Semester is over at UTSA which is the first week in May. We have missed her so much the last year, even though we really saw her almost every weekend. It will be so nice with Cheyenne having her big sis right here in town.

After getting back home, Diana could see that Cheyenne was a little bored, so they did a little trampolining together. There were lots of giggles and laughs, and fortunately Diana did not break anything.

Cheyenne basically spent the rest of the day in the pool. First by herself, then I joined her, then her friends James and John came over for a few hours. Cheyenne is a regular little fish.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. They help me as much as they do Cheyenne.

God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, April 22, 2004 9:11 PM CDT

Today was another Great day for Cheyenne. It was up early and off to school all day. And the best part of it was, NO HOMEWORK tonight! WAHOOOO!!

After school Cheyenne went swimming for the first time this year. She even talked dad into going into the pool. Talk about cold!!!!! After the shock wore off, it was ok, but it was quite hard for me to get into the pool at the beginning.

After swimming, Emily, one of Cheyenne's friends, and her mom came over on horseback to visit. Before you knew it, Emily and Cheyenne were riding around the house and in the pasture having fun.

Right before dark Cheyenne still wasn't finished for the day. Diana came home for the weekend and wanted to take a walk to exercise. We made it a family affair, and you know what, Cheyenne and I didn't even get tired. But then we were on the 4 wheeler! I don't think Mom and Diana thought that was too wonderful, but I am not much one for walking.

Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!! Two whole days of no school and no work. We have such a busy weekend already lined up. As it stands right now, we have 3 things planned for Saturday, leaving one early to make it to the other, and so on.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Also say an extra prayer for sweet little LaKota.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, April 21, 2004 8:16 PM CDT

Our ISP has been down most of the day so I thought I should try to enter a short journal while it is up and working.

Today was again a GREAT day for Cheyenne. She felt a little tummy uneasiness this morning, but made it out of bed and to school.

Immediately after school, Cheyenne attended a church function with James and several of her other friends. They all went to Mr Gatti's for pizza and games. She just walked in the door smiling from ear to ear and talking a hundred miles an hour. She is happy and feeling good.

We did get the radiologist report a couple of days ago. It is the shortest report I have ever seen. It says no new lesions, no enhancement, no new growth, but says that there is the possibility of very subtle increase in T-2 weighted signal strength in the tumor area. It further goes on to recommend an exam and/or another scan to verify the impression.

If my research serves me properly, the T-2 signal in an MRI measures fluid in an area. Brain matter has less fluid than a tumor, for instance.

So, increased fluid in the tumor area could mean the beginning of activity of the tumor, but it could also mean that Protocel is doing what it is supposed to do, causing the tumor to digest itself, creating fluid.

After much soul searching, analyzing, and yes, more research on the internet, we are exactly back to where we were 9 months ago as far as determining treatment. Conventional medicine has nothing to stop this tumor. That leaves our faith in the Lord and a handful of Alternative treatments that have shown to work.

So, basically, since diagnosis day, we are giving Cheyenne the very best treatment available. Nothing has changed.

Dr Estrada is still researching various chemotherapy drugs, but as of today, I am assuming that he has not found one. I called him this afternoon and left a message, but he has yet to call me back.

We know that we have a very merciful, caring and powerful God, and we are placing our faith in him.

I have not had much of an opportunity to visit many of our friends sites tonight, but I do know that LaKota really needs our prayers tonight. Thank you for joining me in lifting her up to the Lord in prayer tonight, as well as tomorrow as she goes in for surgery.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, April 20, 2004 10:54 PM CDT

Where does the time go? It is already past 11 and we are just again getting home and trying to get Cheyenne into bed.

Today was another really, really good day for Cheyenne, but it was a busy one.

After a Great day in school (and very little homework) Cheyenne came home to go karting, running around like a little wild girl, and having fun. Also today, for the second time in her entire life, she tried her hand at sewing on mom's machine. The other day she actually sewed her name on a piece of cloth, and tonight she made a little pillow like thing with embroidery on it. You know, I thought about it, I couldn't do that!

Tonight at 8pm we had quite a treat. Miss Maddie P. was on HGTV, Decorating Cents, getting her room remodeled. They did such a fantastic job, but most of all, it was great seeing our two new TV stars, Maddie and her mom Julie. I am sure most of you know, we have a special place in our hearts for Maddie and Julie.

At one point in the show, the camera panned over to Maddie, sitting in her room drawing. What was she drawing?? She was drawing a picture of another one of our very, very good friends, little angel Nolan. We have that same photo of Nolan in our home. Everyone in the house screamed at the same time, "There's Nolan"!

Thanks Maddie, for giving us a FANTASTIC show tonight. We really enjoyed it. And for those that missed it, it will be on again tonight at midnight, as well as Saturday and Sunday.

Following the show, you would think we would be settling down and getting Cheyenne ready for bed. But she was back on the go kart, herding sheep and having fun. Then she came into the house and told us that she did HAD to go to town to get something for lunch tomorrow at school. That she WAS NOT going to eat in the cafeteria. She won out on the battle and it was off to Walmart. $100 later we were out the door (after cleaning out the claw machine) and finally on the way home.

I know that I am tired, but Cheyenne just goes and goes. I only wish I had half of that energy.

Thank you for checking on Cheyenne and for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, April 19, 2004 8:48 PM CDT

Today was a school day for Miss Cheyenne, which meant soooo much homework for Cheyenne and Dad this evening!! One thing about it, we get our money's worth out of the school tax in this district. Not only does Cheyenne learn, but so do mom and dad. Actually, we were pretty fortunate tonight, only about 6 or 7 pages of homework.

This morning, just like the last few days, began with a bout of nausea lysing. Since changing her Protocel treatment a little, it has really increased the lysing but she gets over it in just a few seconds and then is good to go the rest of the day.

You know, this go kart that we gave Cheyenne for Christmas is the best money we have ever spent on this girl. Not a day goes by without her riding the wheels off of it. It is like her own little car. She absolutely loves riding it. During a break from homework this evening, she took off in the pasture, just exploring. After about 30 minutes, she came back and talked old dad into getting on, and of course I gave in, knowing that she was about to terrorize me. But what the heck. It is fun for both.

Basically, today was another one of those GREAT days for Cheyenne. Her eyes were sparkling, she was smiling, laughing, singing, and dancing. We just love these days.

As a reminder, tomorrow night at 8pm CST is Maddie's premier on HGTV, Decorating Cents. On our Dish TV it is channel 112. Be sure and join all of us around the tube watching one of our favorite girls as she gets her bedroom redone on television.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. If you get a chance, drop over for a visit with some of these children. You will fall in love. I don't think that I am prejudiced, at least not that much, but you will find some of the best kids in the world on these caringbridge sites.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, April 18, 2004 8:58 PM CDT

Today was an EXCELLENT, WONDERFUL day for Cheyenne! She felt GREAT all day and had lots and lots of fun.

This morning was Sunday School and Church. Cheyenne was again an Alcolyte (lit the candles) and did a wonderful job.

After finally getting home from a few errands in town, Cheyenne decided she needed to clean her room. That's right, she decided!! Wow!

Also, this afternoon, Cheyenne decided to play tennis this summer, so we made a point of meeting with Coach and Christine to fill out her application. One area on the application bothered me, it asked for medical problems. I just hope that it does not prevent her from playing, as she is really looking forward to it. It is a sport that she has never done.

Tomorrow is school and work ---UGGGGH!

Oh before I forget. If you have cable or satellite television, check to see if you have HGTV. Or very, very good friend Maddie is going to be the star on Decorating Cents on HGTV starting on Tuesday night, I believe at 7pm CST. For the exact times and dates check out her site, they are listed up near the top. We are going to be having a BIG party here in conjunction with Maddie's party in Minneapolis during the first show.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, April 17, 2004 8:33 PM CDT

What a beautiful West Texas day God gave us. The sun was shining, there was a slight breeze and the temperature was in the 70's. It really doesn't get much better than that in West Texas.

Cheyenne and the rest of the family also were blessed with a wonderful day.

This afternoon, Cheyenne, mom and Diana did something that scares most Dads to death. They went malling with the checkbook!!!!

Cheyenne came home with the most beautiful dress. She couldn't wait to model it for me, along with all the matching jewelery and everything. Apparently there is a sports banquet coming up at school soon, and poor Miss Cheyenne did not have a thing to wear. Now, she looks like a princess. Mom posts the photos on this site, and I am sure she will post a few on the night of the banquet. But again, Cheyenne is beautiful wearing this dress. I think my little girl is growing up!!

About the only time I was able to spend with my pumpkin today was feeding the animals and herding the sheep into the pasture. Cheyenne didn't want to miss that. Right now, Cheyenne is with her mom helping her sew. She loves helping us do things.

Thank you for all the prayers and all the wonderful support in the emails and guestbook entries for Cheyenne and all the other children. Through God all things are possible.

God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, April 16, 2004 11:00 PM CDT

Cheyenne is such a go getter I have a hard time keeping up with her around here!

This morning I decided to stay home from work and conduct a little research, spend some telephone time with a few of my very good friends who, with their children, are travelling this same road, and speak to a few hospitals and doctors.

As Cheyenne and I were preparing to walk out the door to school, a touch of nausea crept in. This was kind of expected, and is actually a very welcome thing. After our infamous Dr's appointment on Wednesday, we changed her Protocel treatment around a little and her lysing kicked into overdrive. She is now lysing more and better than she has in awhile, which, again, is a good thing.

I felt a little sorry for her, and you know it, she stayed home with dear old dad today.

Cheyenne's 3 year old niece and our granddaughter McKayla, had surgery this morning to remove her tonsils and place tubes in her ears. So, Cheyenne and I zipped over to the hospital and made the little girl smile a little.

At one point in the morning, several of the family memebers in the room were becoming hungry, so Cheyenne asked me to make a run to the famous Diego's Burrito's. If you know anything about Cheyenne, you will know that she loooooves Diego's burritos. As I was taking orders, Cheyenne insisted on ordering 2, even though I did not feel she could eat both. Upon returning, Cheyenne went to work on her first one, ate about 3/4 of it, and ran into the restroom. Yep, the old lysing nausea was in effect.

After a short bout with the nausea (30 to 45 seconds), Cheyenne came out, asked where the other 1/4 of the burrito was, and went back to eating. That is when she informed us that is why she ordered 2. She would have something to eat after getting sick. JUST HOW TOUGH IS THIS KID???

After our sweet little McKayla came out of surgery, Cheyenne and I made it home so I could make a few calls.

It is a wonder I got anything done. In between calls, it was board games, go kart, trampoline, you name it, she wanted to do it.

The good news is, I was able to speak to most of the people I wanted to, and have an even better feeling tonight. We are still awaiting the radiologists report and will go from there.

This evening, Cheyenne again was getting antsy, and wanted out of the house. I don't know how she does it, but she talked the whole family into going bowling with her AGAIN!!! Diana included. Now think about that, she talked her 19 year old single, college student sister into going bowling with her on a Friday night. Quite an accomplishment. We finally arrived home just a short while ago. It was one complete day!

I have said it hundreds of times, and will say it many hundreds of times more, but thank you so very much for the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, April 15, 2004 10:23 PM CDT

Today is a new day. Cheyenne is feeling GREAT ,having fun, and Mom and Dad feel a little better than we did last night.

After being up half the night thinking about our conversation with Dr Estrada, and really analyzing Cheyenne’s situation, we feel much better about Cheyenne’s condition that we did last night.

To begin with, we had to understand that Dr. Estrada, although a good oncologist, is not a radiologist, and also prescribes to the standard American Medical Association thinking. Not a bad thing, just the way all Doctors are taught.

What this means is that Dr. Estrada does not believe in ANY treatment, including Alternative, other than what the American Medical Association and the National Cancer Institute recommends. Therefore, his knowledge and training tells him that NO ONE ever gets better from this tumor. Once it shrinks from radiation, all other conventional treatments are considered maintenance therapy or palliative. So, when there is a change in the tumor outside the range of radiation therapy, it is considered bad. At that point, I don’t even know if they consider how the tumor is changing, just the fact that it is.

What we know about Protocel is that it first stops the tumor or cancer from multiplying, then the tumor or cancer slowly dies. Experience has shown, that when the tumor begins dying, the first signs are its change in density, from the inside out. Additionally, we are not the only parents that have gone through the density change aspect on an MRI. It is a common topic on our support group.

The only reason I post this information, is to remove some of the negative stigma I left when I posted the journal last night. We were feeling pretty low at the time.

However, all hope is not lost. When we began this journey, it was with our faith in the Lord, the understanding that the only conventional treatment that was proven to slow this tumor was radiation, and that some forms of chemotherapy may, and I repeat, may, help. Lastly, with an alternative treatment that has shown great successes in children with this particular tumor as well as other forms of cancer. Nothing has changed.

So, at this point we are awaiting the radiologist’s report and keeping on keeping on. The only possible immediate negative impact of all of this, may be the stopping of Temodar as the chemotherapy agent. And, that might not be such a negative thing anyway.

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NOW, to the more important aspects of our life over the past 2 days.

Cheyenne has felt and continues to feel GREAT. The Spurs game was fantastic, and like I said earlier, Cheyenne has a new hero in Tim Duncan.

Prior to the game, Cheyenne convinced us to eat at Dave and Busters. For her trouble on the claw machines and a few other games, she walked away with a stuffed Gorilla almost as tall as her, a watch, a necklace, a bracelet, and several other winnings. When it comes to the games, SHE STILL HAS IT!!

Today after getting home, it was go kart, go kart, go kart. Then after her niece McKayla came over, it was on to the Trampoline.

Lastly, Cheyenne has informed us that she intends on attending summer basketball camp at Christoval High School this year, and participating on the YMCA Tennis teams. This summer is shaping up to be pretty busy.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne since she began this journey, and even more so over the past few days. She knows she is loved. God Bless you all.

OH, AND I ALMOST FORGOT, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAYSHA!!!!!!! Cheyenne and Kaysha (Kody’s sister) had a pretty good telephone conversation tonight. I heard lots of giggling and laughing!!

OUR FAITH IS IN THE LORD. PRAISE BE TO GOD!!!

Cheyenne’s Dad

Thursday, April 15, 2004 0:00 AM CDT

I do not have good news to report tonight.

Dr. Estrada, Cheyenne's Oncologist, advised us after looking at the MRI that there were subtle changes in the density of the tumor area. Exactly what this means is the million dollar question.

There are some changes in density to the tumor that can be caused by Protocel as it is working.

Tumor activity can change the density to the tumor.

How does one know??

He also stated that by itself, it may mean nothing, but in conjunction with her progressive eye problems, he feels the tumor is becoming active.

He feels so strongly about it that he is not prescribing the next round of Temodar, but instead researching another form of chemo to see if we would be interested.

As far as we know, the nuero radiologist has yet to see the scans, and it will probably be at least a week before we have a copy of the radiology report.

I hope to go to the hospital tomorrow morning and view the scan's myself and take some digital photos to compare with previous scans. However, we are not radiologists, and we depend on their opinions.

In any event, as of this afternoon, that sick feeling in the pit of our stomachs has returned.

Even though Donna and I probably did not feel like attending the game tonight, we did and Cheyenne had a BLAST. Tim Duncan is her man!!!!

Thank you for all your continued prayers for Cheyenne and the other children.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, April 13, 2004 10:42 PM CDT

We finally arrived in San Antonio for the MRI and Oncologist visit tomorrow. The trip from San Angelo to San Antonio seems to get shorter each trip. Of course we have been driving it now for 9 months and probably my vehicle knows the way by itself.

Today was another pretty good day for Cheyenne. The Nausea just won't leave her completely alone, but this seems to be the way the chemo affects her. Normally her nausea gradually gets worse leading up to the Oncologist visit and then subsides until after the next chemo round.

Cheyenne is very excited about the Spurs game tomorrow following the Dr appointment. If this appointment goes like the ones in the past, we should get through with the MRI by noon. The oncologist appointment is at 3pm, and we then have to wait there until the Nuero Radiologist calls with the preliminary report, most likely around 5 or so. If all is well, we will then most likey grab a bite to eat and go straight to the SBC center for the game. Finally getting home around 11 or 12 tomorrow night.

We hope to speak to the Doctor about Cheyenne's eye, but realistically, I am pretty confident that we will have to make a separate appointment with the Pediatric Nuero Radiologist for a consultation. But first, the MRI to see exactly what is or is not going on in my little girls head.

Cheyenne and I have been going over all the emails and guestbook entries over the past few days, and we have to say, you all are wonderful. Soooo many people have written with their prayers. Thank you with all of my heart. Cheyenne really knows that she is loved and there are so many good people out there. God Bless you all.

Also, don't forget that Kody will be undergoing his MRI at the same time as Cheyenne, just 1,300 miles away. Then Emily has her's thursday.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, April 12, 2004 9:09 PM CDT

Other than for about 10 minutes this evening, Cheyenne had another really good nausea free day. As Cheyenne put it, this nausea thing stinks..

Cheyenne spent most of the afternoon at her very good friends' house, James and John. Those have to be some of the best young men I have ever met!!

I came home from work today with a GREAT BIG SURPRISE for Miss Cheyenne. Maggie, a very good friend and co-worker from San Antonio called me this morning. Through her contacts with the San Antonio Spurs, she has arranged for 3 tickets to the game Wednesday in San Antonio. Cheyenne is sooooo excited. She loves the Spurs as well as the Stars and has never gotten to watch them in person. So, if our plans work, we will go straight from the Doctor's office Wednesday to the SBC Center for the game. It is going to be FUN, FUN, FUN. Not that I am excited or anything mind you!!!!

We hope to leave for San Antonio immediately after work tomorrow so we can make the early morning MRI on Wednesday.

This seems to be the week of MRI's, Cheyenne and Kody both have one on Wednesday at 9:30 and Emily has one the next day on Thursday. Please keep them in your prayers, as well as all the parents, as MRI time is AWFUL for parents.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are an awesome power and wonderful people like you carry the children's needs to the Lord every day. Again, Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, April 11, 2004 10:46 PM CDT

Today was one FUN day for Cheyenne. On top of that, the nausea decided to take the day off, and she felt wonderful all day long.

We were up very early this morning for an early breakfast at church, followed by the early church service. Normally, we are a late church service family, and now I remember why!!! I know my body needs more than 4 hours sleep a night, and the way Cheyenne is dragging around (and yes, it is 11pm and she is still up) I imagine she does also.

Following church, the entire family: Mom, Dad, Cheyenne, Big sis Diana, Big Brother Christopher and his family, and Big Brother Michael and his family all made it out to my parents in Paint Rock to spend the entire Easter day.

It was a too cold and wet for the little kids to hunt Easter eggs outside, but Cheyenne put on her bunny ears and handed out the eggs and candy. I believe Donna loaded a few photos tonight of our little Easter Bunny sheep herder.

Tomorrow Cheyenne has the day off again, so Donna is spending the day with her. While I am at work, they will probably do something together, which Cheyenne just loves.

Oh, I almost forgot, Saturday a HUGE box of candy came from the Phillips family of Savannah, Ga. Melanie knows how much Cheyenne loves that delicious pecan candy from River Street Sweets there in Savannah. Melanie and her family had sent a box for Christmas and Cheyenne just went nuts over it (no pun intended). Thank you Ron, Melanie, Ryan and Randall. We have never had the privilige of meeting Melanie's family YET, but we work, or at least used to work, for the same Organization and we WILL get together someday!!!!

Thank you everyone for all the wonderful prayers for our little girl and all the other children. You all are soooo wonderful. Cheyenne and Kody Bear's MRI's are coming up real quick on Wednesday, so please remember them in your prayers. Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, April 10, 2004 10:13 PM CDT

This morning Cheyenne had a fantastic time both hiding Easter eggs at church for the little children, and helping them find them. We were beginning to wonder if it was going to take place, as a rain storm starting building just as the time approached. But the kids won out, and had a great Easter Egg hunt.

As we were preparing to leave, the Easter bunny that had used Cheyenne's basket to hand out candy returned the basket to Cheyenne with quite a bit of candy still in it. Now here is Cheyenne, wearing bunny ears and her nose and face painted with a pink nose and whiskers, with a big basket of candy. So what does our little girl do for the next hour or so? Cheyenne handed out candy to every child we ran into in town. Of course, after getting permission from their parents.

Due to today being wet and cold, after arriving back home Chey didn't do an awfully lot. She did ride her go kart for awhile, but it was tooooo cold.

Dad spent the evening working on Income Tax. After all, I don't want to be known as one of those people that put it off until the last minute!! Hey, I discovered something!! If you spend tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills, you can get a few hundred dollars back on taxes!!!!!!! What a deal!!!

Tomorrow we were going to try to make Sunrise Service, but with the anticipated temp at 39, I think we will wait and do the one inside, instead of the outside one.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Please remember Cheyenne and Kody next wednesday for the MRI's.

God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, April 9, 2004 10:34 PM CDT

Today was a holiday for Cheyenne, so no school. Diana, her big sis came in for Easter from college and spent the day with Cheyenne, taking her malling, and doing girl things in town.

Unfortunately, as has been the case for the past few months, the chemo effect seems to hit a week or so after the last dose of chemo. So, even though Cheyenne had experienced a little nausea earlier this week, today it decided to stay with her for much longer at a time. Rather than a minute or so every 8 to 10 hours, today it turned into 10 or 15 minutes of nausea every couple of hours. For a little girl, it makes a big difference. We are hoping and praying that this will pass quickly. Although, Cheyenne really doesn't let it get her down. She is pretty tough!

We have a full day scheduled tomorrow. Cheyenne has to be at Church at 8:30 to hide Easter eggs for the little kids. The Easter egg hunt starts at 10am, and hopefully, all of Cheyenne's nieces and nephew will be there. It should be lots of fun.

On Easter, after church services we plan to visit my parents in Paint Rock for the day. Cheyenne, Grandma, and Grampa have loads of fun together. That should also be a blessed day for the family.

Cheyenne and Kody Bear both have MRI's scheduled for 9:30 Wednesday morning, so please pray for their scans. Also, if you would, please remember Susan and Mark Griffin in your prayers as they spend their 2nd night without their little Jakie Bear.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, April 8, 2004 6:39 PM CDT

It is with great sadness and emotion that I tell you of our very, very good friend, Big Jake Griffin, becoming one of Heaven’s newest angels this morning.

When we began this journey, in complete despair and utter confusion, it was Susan Griffin that gave us hope, inspired us to fight, and gave us the encouragement needed to fight this horrible beast of a tumor. All the while, she was waging the same war with sweet little Jake. She spent endless hours on the telephone and internet helping us anyway that she could.

She introduced us to Caringbridge, to Protocel, to many, many friends that were battling this beast, and shared her experiences so as we would not have to go down this road blindly, but with enough knowledge that we could make proper choices in Cheyenne’s treatment. Susan and Jake became our heros.

The amazing thing is that Susan did not just do this for us. Prior to and after Cheyenne’s diagnosis, Susan has been there for countless other families fighting this tumor that modern medicine thinks unbeatable. Susan became the “Go To” person in our little world, and she was always up for it by helping in anyway that she could.

We patterned much of Cheyenne’s treatment after Big Jake. Jake, like many of these children, was given a horrible prognosis at diagnosis, and then Susan found Protocel. That was almost 2 1/2 years ago. Sadly, the Protocel did what it was supposed to do, but conventional treatment, which includes radiation took it’s toll.

We all face this double edged sword. Without radiation the chances of survival from this tumor are almost zero. Additionally, many of us, Jake and Cheyenne included, would probably not have seen a month of life after diagnosis without radiation. These are but a few of the decisions that parents of children with brain tumors and cancer have to face. Until the medical and scientific professions improve its antiquated treatments for pediatric cancer and tumors, we continue to use technology and ideas that are 40 years old.

I will leave you with some statistics that I obtained from a recent California study on the type of tumor that Cheyenne, Jake, and many other children face or have faced. According to this study, 95 percent of children diagnosed with this tumor and treated with conventional treatments will not live beyond 9 months from diagnosis. Less than 1 percent will live beyond 1 year, with the average length for those that live beyond 1 year being 1.1 years. This is what Conventional Treatment has to offer for these children and their families.

Jake celebrated his life for almost 2 ½ years after diagnosis. Tomorrow is Cheyenne’s 9 month anniversary from diagnosis.

Thank you for all the support, caring, and prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember Susan and Mark Griffin in your prayers as they are going through what no parent should ever have to face.

Cheyenne’s dad

Wednesday, April 7, 2004 9:48 PM CDT

Update 4/08/04

This morning, our very, very good friend, Jake Griffin, became one of God's newest angels. Please remember his family as they suffer through this unbearable time.

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Today Cheyennne still fought a little of the nausea on and off, but she is tough and don't let it get her down for long.

After a good day in school, Cheyenne came home to run the wheels off the go kart again. When I came home later in the evening, Cheyenne was thrilled to try to terrorize dad in the go kart.

I really should know better than get on it with her at this point, but she asks so nice and polite. Then the second I am on, she gets that wicked little smile and it is off to the races. She has this course laid out around the house, and it gives her great pleasure to try to scare the wits out of dad going around the twisting and turning course. Then after I had all I could take, she loads up her baby, Cinnamon. Now Cinnamon sits on her lap, Cheyenne holds her real tight, and that girl never gets over 2 or 3 miles per hour. I guess I know where I rank in this family!!

Tonight was another one of those pretty late nights. I was totally out of fuel in the pickup that I drive Cheyenne to school in each day, and Cheyenne used all the large envelopes and boxes in the house, so we had to run to town. We waited until after she was feeling a little better, and that resulted in us not getting home until 9pm. Fortunately, NO HOMEWORK!!

I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all the support, prayers, and caring that Cheyenne and all the other children receive. You have no idea how a simple guestbook entry can turn a horrible day into a bearable one. Thank you all and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, April 6, 2004 9:31 PM CDT

Is everyone's schedule as busy as our's??

It is almost 10pm and we are just again arriving home. We really need to get this girl in bed a little earlier, but it is so hard to drag her away when she is having fun.

After a fairly good day in school (a little chemo sickness but nothing really serious) Cheyenne came home to do a couple of her favorite things.

First, Cheyenne and her mom started putting together a few little Easter packages to send out to some of the wonderful children that we have met since joining the caringbridge family. If you remember, Cheyenne decided a week or so ago that this is what she wanted to do with her money and spare time.

While taking a break from the packaging, Cheyenne decided to try a little go karting. Dad has told her, WEAR GOGGLES, but Noooooo! One loop around the house resulted in the front tire picking up some mud and throwing it into her eye. So much for the go karting this evening!! Her eye is fine, but now I believe she understands why I have told her to wear goggles or glasses.

Today was also Cheyenne's big brother Michael's birthday. Michael and his family live just down the street, so we popped over for his birthday party. There were several children there just a little younger than Cheyenne, so she had a blast. Of course, I won't mention Michael's age, as it might give a clue that Donna and I are no longer 30!! Ha.

The rain has seemed to have passed for a few days, so for those of you mounting a rescue by boat, we are ok. But in good West Texas fashion, we will be missing the rain, complaining about how dry it is, and praying for more in the next few days. It rains so little around here, we are really blessed when it rains as it has lately.

Cheyenne is now in bed, still suffering from that chemo nausea that has seemed to hit her a little early this round. Hopefully, within the next day or so it too will be history.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. We are so blessed to have so many wonderful people that care. Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, April 5, 2004 9:22 PM CDT

Cheyenne woke up this morning still suffering from some of the chemo effects, which by the way, she finished this round last night. All the way to school this morning my poor little Cheyenne was pretty nauseaous. Even the Zofran didn't take it all away. But, the anticipated phone call from her never materialized, she spent the entire day at school.

This afternoon and evening after school was pretty much indoor time. Today was another rainy day in West Texas. As of a few minutes ago, it has rained 4 inches at our house in the past few days. Looking at radar, it appears as if a lot more is headed this way tonight. Hopefully, some of this rain will put water in our lakes, which are almost dry from the drought of the past few years.

A few minutes ago, Cheyenne and I were doing her math homework. TEN pages!!! I am sure glad I didn't have that much homework when I was a kid!!

After insisting on writing in Celeste's guestbook, we finally convinced her to go to bed.

Hopefully, tomorrow a lot of the nausea and sickness will be gone and she can get back to the happy little girl that she is.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. These children are special, and you are special for lifting them up to the Lord in prayer.

Through God, All Things Are Possible!!!

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, April 4, 2004 5:56 PM CDT

Cheyenne and mom are at church this evening, so I thought I would update a little early today.

First and foremost I want to thank the Tumbleweed Foundation for the wonderful package that Cheyenne received in the mail today. (We failed to check the mail yesterday). I have mentioned the Tumbleweed Foundation before, and I will have a beautiful link to this wonderful site someday, I promise (I am just not very good at all this linking stuff and it takes me a little longer than most). The Tumbleweed Foundation is in honor of a very good caringbridge friend of ours, sweet Julia Levy, who is now a beautiful angel in Heaven, no longer afflicted with this beast of a tumor. Julia is watching over her mom Judy as well as all of us here on earth still traveling this journey.

Inside the package were all kinds of wonderful things just made for Cheyenne as well as items that old mom and dad are honored to have. T-Shirts with the Tumbleweed logo, beautiful Julia's photo with those butterflys she loves so much, mouse pad (but we will probably frame the mouse pad with Julia's photo rather than use it), so on and so on.

One item brings a memory to me. A beautiful stuffed flower, like you would win at a carnival or out of a claw machine. A smily face on it with orange pedals, a yellow face, and green stem and leaf. Anyway, a few months ago Cheyenne attended the rodeo and carnival here in San Angelo and won a flower just like this one. She loved it. As she was walking through the crowd, a young lady in military uniform came up to her and asked where she had won it. Cheyenne told her and we turned and walked away. Cheyenne stopped, turned and ran up to the girl, giving her the flower and telling her that she was serving the country and deserved it. That made me soooo proud. And here, Angel Julia, Judy and the Tumbleweed Foundation returned the flower.

Thank you!!!!!

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This morning Cheyenne again woke up with a little upset stomach, which has hit her on and off through out the day, but she is handling very well.

We were able to get up this morning, even with the time change, and make it to church.

Today is really kind of a church day all day long, as at 2 this afternoon, Cheyenne was back at church stuffing plastic Easter eggs for an Easter Egg hunt for the little kids next Saturday. Hence, the photo that Donna loaded today on the front page.

Then after coming home for a few minutes, Cheyenne was back to church for confirmation class this evening. She should be through around 7pm and home. I am getting a little lonely and miss her already.

Thank you all for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, April 3, 2004 11:04 PM CST

Please remember Corinna's family in your prayers tonight, as sweet Corinna became one of Heaven's newest angels today from this beast of a tumor. Some day, maybe all this madness will stop. We have lost so many friends to this tumor and other childhood cancers.

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Today was another one of those extremely busy days for Cheyenne and the rest of the family.

This morning Cheyenne and I joined the Martial Arts Academy selling Krispy Kreme donuts for a fund raiser. Sifu Ector Troncoso always has an annual awards banquet for the kids, with every student getting an award. So this will help offset some of the expenses for that.

This evening Cheyenne and the family, along with 2 of Diana's friends attended a play at the Word of Life Church here in San Angelo entitled "The Promise". "The Promise" is put on every year by the church, with all cast members being from the church. It is a dramatic portrayal of the Life, Death and Resurrection of Our Lord, Jesus Christ. I have to tell you, this was Broadway quality. Unbelievable. The costumes, the acting, the singing, the sets, really first class. This is our second year going and I am sure we will go again and again. They put it on every year just before Easter.

Then at the end of the production, the Pastor asks anyone that has a need to come to the front of the church. Cheyenne wanted to go, so we walked up to the front along with many other people. A gentleman from the church came over and asked if we had a specific need, to which Cheyenne explained that she had a brain tumor. Within seconds there were at least 10 people around us praying for Cheyenne's healing.

I need to go and visit a few of our caringbridge friends before it becomes too late so I will cut this short tonight.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. They are all so special and you are all so special for praying for them. Again, Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, April 2, 2004 9:54 PM CST

*****3 DAYS OF CHEMO IN THIS ROUND OVER, ONLY 2 TO GO*****

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It is past 10 pm and we just came home. Cheyenne is pooped and quickly went to bed. She asked me to tell everyone hello.

Today was a normal school day for Cheyenne, no problems, no sickness. In our rush to get to school this morning Cheyenne forgot her homework and key to her locker. Thankfully Diana is home from college and drove it out to her before she needed it.

Even though it was a normal day for Cheyenne, it was a rather unusual day here in West Texas. This area of Texas is becoming known for how hot it gets and how dry it has been for the past several years. This morning, in the span of less than 1 hour, it rained over 3 inches. And, we have a chance of rain every day and night for the next week!!! What is going on? When I came home for lunch today, I had to stay an extra 45 minutes due to rising water on the road in front of our house. Wow, this is unbelievable!!!!!

After school Donna took Cheyenne in for a photo sitting (hopefully she will post some of those in a day or so) and then we all went to the movies to see SCOOBY DOO 2. Cheyenne got a big kick out of it.

Over the past couple of days I have met several new children and parents embarking on this cancer/tumor journey. Just today I met Emerald and Jenna and thier families, and a few days ago I believe I introduced Ryan's site. Please add these couragous children to your ever growing prayer list. Also, today I met a beautiful young lady named Brecklin through our friend Chance. Brecklin has been putting up one heck of a fight for quite awhile, and now needs our prayers more than ever. Our friends Jake, Michael, Corinna, Savannah, and Taylor are still in need of urgent prayers as well.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, April 1, 2004 8:35 PM CST

****2 DAYS OF THIS ROUND OF CHEMO DOWN, 3 TO GO****

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DONNA LOADED NEW PHOTOS TODAY

Today was a good day for Cheyenne and family. Chey did go to bed and wake up with a tummy ache, but fairly minor compared to so many she has had. Second day of chemo tummy ache, most likely.

She spent the day at school and Donna and I spent the day at work UUUUGGGGGGG!! I did not have the best day at work today, but not much I can do about it!!

After school Cheyenne again took to the go kart. Ha, she has worn a road in the yard (we have about a 3 acre yard) on which the grass will probably never grow again.

As she was riding around, and in the back of the house, her sister Diana came in from college for the weekend. Cheyenne didn't notice her being home for awhile, and when she did, it was a quick trip to the house for hugs and kisses. Don't tell Diana this, it is a secret, but we are trying to talk her into going to school here next semester so we can see her more. We miss her being away all the time at school. Cheyenne just kind of likes her sister, if you know what I mean.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. All of our caringbridge friends are in need of prayers for healing and several are currently in urgent need. Sadly, our prayer list has been growing very rapidly lately, since meeting several new families that are newly diagnosed and just beginning to go through the nightmare of this journey.

Again, thank you and God Bless each and every one of you.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, March 31, 2004 8:54 PM CST

***ONE DAY OF THIS ROUND OF CHEMO DOWN, FOUR MORE TO GO***

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Today was another feel good day for Cheyenne, even though she has started this round of chemo. Just a few minutes ago I could hear her singing at the top of her lungs in the shower. Then earlier while in town, she was skipping around, doing spins and kicks. As many of you know, this means that our little girl is feeling good. When she feels good she can't stand still and can't be still for a second. I LOVE it!!

I just HAVE to take a photo of Cheyenne herding the sheep on her go kart. Hopefully a still photo will do it justice. She has gotten it down to an art. Today it took her less than 5 minutes to start her go kart, take off, and herd the sheep through the gate into the pasture. All the while, a great big smile on her face.

All in all Cheyenne continues to feel great. We have noticed that the sight in her left eye seems to be getting a little worse as time goes on. When she was first diagnosed she had major problems with her left eye, and even after the extensive tumor reduction, some problems still existed. We were told that it could be damage from previous pressure, could be radiation damage, and they don't really know. Even thought the last MRI did not show anything in that area, it still worries us quite a bit. We have another MRI coming up in 2 weeks, and depending on what it shows, may schedule an appointment with a neuro-optimologist. We will just have to wait and see.

Thank you all for the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. If you would, please join me in lifting up several children to the Lord in prayer tonight.

Jake, Michael, Savannah, Corinna and Taylor are in urgent need of a miracle: Little Trevor Joiner, who was undergoing his second stem cell transplant, discovered that his cells outgrew the donor cells for the 2nd time. Craig has had the scans and is expecting the results anytime. Also please remember Maxie's family as they try to cope without their little man.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, March 30, 2004 7:22 PM CST

I can't believe how early I am getting to journal tonight!!

Cheyenne had a GREAT day at school. Felt GREAT, had lots of fun, and studied a REALLY lot (according to her)!

When I came home from work Cheyenne was ready to spend some time again on BlackJack. While they were riding around I heard Cheyenne talking to him, telling him just so much more time and he could go into his pen and eat. She treats BlackJack just like she would treat her best friend. That is one REALLY, REALLY good horse. BlackJack loves Cheyenne and she loves him, they make a good pair.

I believe that Cheyenne has grown a little lately. I had to adjust the stirrups on her saddle today, letting them out about an inch. We were really excited about that. Radiation has soooo many bad side effects, one of the minor ones being interfering with growth. We won't go into the the major ones, as they are many with horrible side effects, and we would rather not even think about them.

Right now Cheyenne is sitting in front of the TV and doing homework. Now, what is wrong with that picture??

Tormorrow is Cheyenne's start of this round of chemo (Temodar). Let's hope and pray that her GREAT feelings continue.

Thank you all for the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. If you would, please join me in lifting up several children to the Lord in prayer tonight.

Jake, Michael, Savannah, and Taylor are in urgent need of a miracle: Little Trevor Joiner, who was undergoing his second stem cell transplant, discovered that his cells outgrew the donor cells for the 2nd time. Corinna and Maddie are experiencing symptoms from this beast of a tumor: Haley has been experiencing seizures and Katia is receiving platelets and fighting a bad infection: Lakota is anticipating test results back within the next day or so and Craig is back in the hospital with a fever and is awaiting his scans from today. Also please remember Maxie's family as they try to cope without their little man.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, March 29, 2004 9:30 PM CST

Today Cheyenne continued her weekend, making it a three day one. Early this morning, Cheyenne told me she felt sick to her stomach and asked to stay home for a couple of hours. Seeing how she was the energizer bunny this weekend, getting up early and staying up very late, I knew that she was probably just tired. After sleeping until after 11, Cheyenne was finally up and moving around.

Now I know that my little stink probably took a little advantage, but you know what, that is ok with me.

Of course, I had to stay home with her, which was also ok with me, not that I don't like work that much, but it has been more fun in years past.

Finally after having lunch, I asked Cheyenne if she wanted to go to school, but then after thinking about it, by the time we got her there, she would only have a couple of hours before it let out, so we decided to just make a day of it around the house.

So this afternoon, Ms Cheyenne and I cleaned the pool (at least started it), rode the go kart about a million miles, rode BlackJack, and learned how to rope. That's right, Cheyenne decided that she wanted to learn how to rope. After about 30 minutes of practice, she is actually really, really good. Of course the post that she is roping, doesn't weigh several hundred pounds and isn't running at about 20 mph.

Also, Cheyenne's brightest spot of the day today, she talked to Celeste on the telephone!!!! Those girls really get along. I can't wait to get them in a room together sometime.

Thank you all for the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. If you would, please join me in lifting up several children to the Lord in prayer tonight.

Jake, Michael, Savannah, and Taylor are in urgent need of a miracle: Little Trevor Joiner did not receive good news today, his cells outgrew the donor cells for the 2nd time. Also sweet little Christal has relapsed. Only 3 months ago she had clear scans: Corinna and Maddie are experiencing symptoms from this beast of a tumor: Haley has been experiencing seizures and Katia is receiving platelets and fighting a bad infection: Lakota is anticipating test results back within the next day or so and Craig is back in the hospital with a fever. Also please remember Maxie's family as they try to cope without their little man.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, March 28, 2004 10:49 PM CST

Today was another one of those very busy days for Cheyenne and family. Of course Donna and I were up past 2am again last night, that makes about 4 in a row trying to get things done that we didn't have time for during the day.

We were up early again this morning and off to church. Cheyenne was again an Acolyte (lights the candles)this morning. She just loves doing things for the church! This morning Cheyenne's brother Christopher and his family also joined us for church. Since they normally attend a different church in town, it was a special time.

AND...... Donna and I were able to spend some really quality time with the grandkids, with McKayla even coming home with us. Talk about a sweet little stink!!!!

After playing with McKayla for a few hours, Cheyenne had an appointment with Eric and his family from church at the lake to ride go karts. For over 2 hours those kids rode nonstop. And I thought Cheyenne was wild on her go kart. Eric just might grow up to be a race car driver, HA!!!!

Cheyenne had wanted to give a review of the Christian concert we attended last night, but was really zonked tonight and asked that I do it. Jamie Slocum, who has several number 1 hits and many in the top 10, teamed up with Donna's FAVORITE radio station (KCRN Christian Family Radio)and the Angelo Bible Church and came to little ole San Angelo. He has such a fantastic voice, and the way that he presents himself at the concert, his music is a ministry. Cheyenne (and Donna and I) highly recommends his music to everyone.

The concert wasn't without a little emotion, however. One song in particular, "By Your Side", speaks of trials and tribulations, and of being passed over for things in life, but all the while having Jesus at your side. Well, the song caused Cheyenne to think about the last 9 months, wonder why she was chosen to take this journey, and before long there were a few tears flowing. Then mom figured out what was going on and those tears began to fall. I had to try to hold mine back, but a few sneaked through.

Tomorrow it is back to work and school. Wednesday is the start of Cheyenne's next round of chemo, which means that in a couple of weeks, I believe the 14th, we will have Cheyenne's 9 month MRI.

Thre are several beautiful children that are in urgent need of prayer tonight.

Jake, Michael, Savannah, and Taylor are in urgent need of a miracle: Corinna and Maddie are experiencing symptoms from this beast of a tumor: Haley has been experiencing seizures and Katia is receiving platelets and fighting a bad infection: Lakota, and Trevor Joiner are anticipating test results back within the next day or so and Craig is back in the hospital with a fever. Also please remember Maxie's family as they try to cope without their little man.

Also, another child has just been recently diagnosed with this beast of a tumor. Ryan Brown, from Ft Cambell Ky was just diagnosed with a dpg a few days ago. I can still vividly remember what his parents are currently going through. If you get a chance, please drop by his site and leave an encouraging message. His caringbridge site is www.caringbridge.org/ky/ryanbrown .

Thank you everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the children. Prayers work miracles.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, March 27, 2004 11:21 PM CST

I received a phone call this afternoon telling me about our friend Maxie. Maxie became one of Heaven's newest angels this afternoon, just a few days short of his 11th birthday. Please pray for his family: Christy, Robert, Julie and Chris over the next several weeks, as they go through this unbearable time.

God Bless you guys, keep the faith and be strong. You will be reunited in Heaven. You are in our prayers.

Tonight several of our other friends also need your prayers and encouragement. I know it is extremely difficult and sometimes emotional to visit all these children's sites, but just imagine how hard it is on the family, especially without the love and caring that you can provide. I know that the prayers, support and caring that we get from our caringbridge friends keep us going day to day.

Please join me in lifting up these beautiful children to the Lord in prayer tonight:

Jake, Michael, Savannah, and Taylor are in urgent need of a miracle: Corinna and Maddie are experiencing symptoms from this beast of a tumor: Haley has been experiencing seizures and Katia is receiving platelets and fighting a bad infection: Lakota, and Trevor Joiner are anticipating test results back within the next day or so and Craig's counts are extremely low.

Also, another child has just been recently diagnosed with this beast of a tumor. Ryan Brown, from Ft Cambell Ky was just diagnosed with a dpg a few days ago. I can still vividly remember what his parents are currently going through. If you get a chance, please drop by his site and leave an encouraging message. His caringbridge site is www.caringbridge.org/ky/ryanbrown .

Tomorrow Cheyenne wants to tell you about the concert we went to tonight. Jamie Slocum, the best Christian singer we have ever heard. But that is for tomorrow.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Cheyenne sends her love to all of you tonight. Good night and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, March 26, 2004 11:10 PM CST

Today was a very full day for Cheyenne, just getting home a few minutes ago.

Early this morning, the second time in the last three days, she had a bout of nausea associated with Protocel lysing. Cheyenne seems to lyse to some extent everyday, but had not had strong lysing involving nausea in a couple of weeks. We had actually started to become a little concerned until we researched her daily Protocel journal and determined that it is generally a cycle thing. So, we watched a little of this tumor go down the toliet the last few days. That is worthy of celebration!!!!

And for those non Protocel parents, it is kind of complicated, but as Protocel slowly destroys the tumor, the body expells it by increased lysing.

After a full day at school, which Cheyenne said was a "GOOD" day, she was able to get in a little go karting at home. Whether she is on her horse or the go kart, it brings a big smile to her face.

This evening she was invited to Coaches house for a birthday party for Christene. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTENE!!!!

Cheyenne had a blast at the party, and when we arrived to pick her up at 10, you could hear the kids screaming, laughing and having fun a block away. They were playing Capture the Flag in the backyard.

After the party, Cheyenne was in one of her moods and sang most of the way home. It is so easy to read that girl, you can tell when she is or has had a good day.

Tomorrow is going to be another full day. She is supposed to be at church to paint a backdrop for a play the kids are putting on at 8am. Then church again at 1pm. Then, mom says that there is a big name Christian singer doing a concert in town at 7pm, and we are going. Of course I don't remember the name, but then I am not real good with names.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne and all the other children. A few of our friends really need additional prayers tonight. If you would, please remember Jake, Corinna, Maxie, Maddie, Michael, Savannah, and Taylor. Also Lakota, and Trevor Joiner are anticipating test results back within the next day or so and Craig is really needing his counts to come up. Also Haley has been having more seizures and Katia is fighting an infection as well as having to have platelets every few days.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, March 25, 2004 8:56 PM CST

Tonight Cheyenne wanted to write her own journal, but it is 9pm and she is really pooped. So dad is typing with Cheyenne reading and approving.

Cheyenne had a good day at school, no tummy ache, but a slight headache for an hour or so that went away by itself after getting home.

Cheyenne couldn't wait until dad got home. When it was time to get the sheep into the pasture again, the cowgirl on the go kart was ready. She drove those sheep into the pasture with the go kart like a professional.

Also, we haven't mentioned Cheyenne's little lamb lately. So we thought we would let everyone know that "Scrumptious" is doing very well. The little stinker is still tiny, and we are giving her every drop of milk that she gets, but she is healthy now and growing. She stays with her mother and brother, and her mother actually takes care of her, but the little lamb hasn't figured out how to nurse her. Oh, and if there was any question, Cheyenne named her. I can just see us in a couple of years, walking through the pasture calling a grown sheep, "Scrumptious"!

We received her chemo in the mail, so are ready to begin her next round on wednesday of next week.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne and all the other children. A few of our friends really need additional prayers tonight. If you would, please remember Jake, Corinna, Maxie, Maddie, Michael, Savannah, and Taylor. Also Benji, Lakota, and Trevor Joiner are anticipating MRI's or test results back within the next day or so and Craig is really needing his counts to come up.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 10:11 PM CST

Cheyenne had a good day at school today, no problems, she felt great, and she said she learned alot. Of course I didn't want to push it and ask her what she learned!!!!

When I came home from work, there was Miss Cheyenne on her go kart flying all over the place, having as much fun as a little girl could have. When it came time for me to drive the sheep into the pasture, there was Cheyenne on her go kart herding sheep!! HA, You should have seen those poor sheep, scared to death.

After a few death defying trips around the place on the go kart, it was time to get Cheyenne cleaned up and off to Wednesday night Lent church service. We really enjoyed the service tonight.

I have to share this with you. After arriving back home, Cheyenne was one busy little beaver cleaning the house. As a matter of fact, at 930pm she was vaccuming the front room. What is this all about you might ask??? It seems that our big hearted little girl has decided that she needs to earn some spending money and has made an arrangement with her mom for 5 dollars a week if she cleans some each day. You know why she wants the money? To buy gifts for her caringbridge friends, to donate to certain organizations (as she put it) and for those people that stand on street corners that need money for their families. Now how about this generous little girl?

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne and all the other children. A few of our friends really need additional prayers tonight. If you would, please remember Jake, Corinna, Maxie, Maddie, Michael, Savannah, and Taylor. Also Benji, Lakota, and Trevor Joiner are anticipating MRI's or test results back within the next day or so and Craig is really needing his counts to come up. Also join me in rejoicing and praising God for the wonderful answered prayers for Jessie and Jackson.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, March 23, 2004 7:56 PM CST

I want to express my heartfelt thank you to all those that have left so many uplifting and encouraging words in Cheyenne's guestbook. Cheyenne knows she is loved.

This morning Donna spoke to the Principal and we trust that they can handle the situation. I would like to mention, that the Christoval ISD, where Cheyenne attends school, has absolutely fabulous teachers, staff, and a Middle School Principal. As a matter of fact, when the staff found out what had occurred, many have offered their personal assistance. Unfortunately, like all schools, there are those children who have yet to understand how much pain they can cause with words and actions.

Cheyenne does not seem worse for the wear, she came home from school today in a very good mood, basically back to her talkative smiling self. Actually, from speaking to her, I believe what occurred actually caused her and some of her friends to become closer, which is a good thing.

Times such as these remind us that events over the past 9 months have changed us dramatically. It seems that we really wear our emotions on the outside, so to speak. The whole world of children with cancer was thrust upon us, and we have not only joined in the journey, but have met so, so many wonderful familes and children taking this journey with us. When something like yesterday occurs you realize how much this is so. It really hurt knowing that Cheyenne was having to suffer through this kind of treatment from other children at school. Maybe some good will come of it in the long run.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne and all the other children. A few of our friends really need additional prayers tonight. If you would, please remember Jake, Corinna, Maxie, Maddie, Michael, Savannah, and Taylor. Also Benji, Lakota, and Trevor Joiner are anticipating MRI's or test results back within the next day or so and Craig is really needing his counts to come up. Also join me in rejoicing and praising God for the wonderful answered prayers for Jessie and Jackson.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, March 22, 2004 8:19 PM CST

Cheyenne had no sickness today, but had a pretty hard day at school.

I am not sure what to think about our public schools.

Today, my little girl was hit in the head by a basketball twice at school. Even if she did not have a tumor, this could be pretty severe, but as you know, she does have a tumor which makes it that much more scary. One was an accident, ok, but the other was by kids calling her "Cancer Patient" and intentionally trying to hit her with the ball. She frequently faces some sort of harrassment at school due to her illness. I really cannot understand at all how children can be so mean, but they are. It wasn't that long ago that her counts were very low from chemotherapy and some of the other children were intentionally coughing on her and laughing about it. But the silver lining in what happened today is that some of Cheyenne's true friends stood up when it counted and came to her side.

We will go through the motions, Donna or I will go to the school, but the truth is, only the children can stop it. The school is really powerless unless they actually see the children doing something. One would hope that we could speak to the children's parents, but those days are past. Generally, the children get their attitudes from their parents. So I can imagine how that conversation would go.

I actually told Cheyenne that I would home school her, but she wants to go to school to play sports, be with the few of her real friends, and so on.

Fortunately, she was able to overcome her day at school when she got home, and made the most of the remaining day. As of this instant she is in a fairly good mood.

Hopefully tomorrow will be much, much better.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne and all the other children. A few of our friends really need additional prayers tonight. If you would, please remember Jake, Jessie, Jackson, Corinna, Maxie, Maddie, Michael, Savannah, and Taylor. I don't believe I have Taylor's site linked, it is at www.amiraclefortaylor.com.

Again thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, March 21, 2004 9:08 PM CST

This morning Cheyenne was up early and off to church and Sunday School, feeling GREAT. I on the other hand, did not feel well at all, and even missed church, but am feeling much better this evening.

Today Cheyenne's big sis Diana said her goodbyes and was off to college in San Antonio. It will be a little lonely for Cheyenne without her for awhile. But school starts tomorrow and Cheyenne will have her days full for awhile. I am sure there will be many nights of homework forthcoming.

This evening Cheyenne wanted to DO SOMETHING!!! We are not bowlers, but she wanted to go bowling, so we gave it a try. We bowled three games, with each one of us winning one game. I'll spare you the scores to avoid embarrassment, especially mine.

Thank you for all the wonder prayers for our little girl Cheyenne and all the other children. Those prayers keep us going each day. God Bless you all. Tonight when you say your prayers, please remember all these children, and especially our very good friends, Jake, Corinna, Michael, Maddie, Maxie, Jessie, and Jackson. Also remember Lindsey's family tonight as they are trying to cope with the loss of Lindsey/s little brother, who tryed to enter this world premature.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, March 20, 2004 9:08 PM CST

Today was another BEAUTIFUL West Texas day, AND, they say it is going to rain tonight and tomorrow. In West Texas, this is a good thing. Of course, being West Texas, it will probably come in with winds at 70 mph, hail, etc...This is getting to be the season.

Cheyenne had a VERY busy day today. Mom and I are even tired from all that she did.

This morning Cheyenne went to church to help paint the walls in the new Youth room. Of course, Cheyenne had paint all over her when mom picked her up.

Following the paint party, Cheyenne had plans to go to James' and John's house. Several other friends were there and I understand that they had a BIG time. Playing board games, playing outside, etc....

Later in the evening we picked up Cheyenne and all the boys and brought them to our house for fun, games, go kart rides, trampoline, and a little BBQ on my new grill. Cheyenne's brothers came over and it was a house full. Lots of fun for all. I believe Cheyenne and the boys ran all over the pasture chasing each other.

But for the all the fun, after everyone left Cheyenne came down with a monster headache. Fortunately, 1 ibuprofen and 15 minutes later it was gone. That gave us a big sign of relief.

I am not sure what is planned after church tomorrow, but with the anticipated rain, it will probably be indoors.

Thank you, and I really mean THANK YOU, for all the wonder prayers for our little girl Cheyenne and all the other children. Those prayers keep us going each day. God Bless you all. Tonight when you say your prayers, please remember all these children, and especially our very good friends, Jake, Corinna, Michael, Maddie, Maxie, Jesie, and Jackson. And if you get a chance, drop over to that sweet girl Celeste's site. Her GREAT news will bring a tear to your eyes.

Again, Thank you all and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, March 19, 2004 11:21 PM CST

Today was a beautiful day. The temperature was in the lower 80's, the wind was calm, and Cheyenne felt like a million dollars.

Donna and I spent the day at work, but Big Sis Diana kept Cheyenne occupied most of the day and even took her to see a movie in town.

When I came home this evening, Cheyenne was at James' and John's house (the nice boys that gave her the flowers). Cheyenne was told to call at 6 or 6:30 and we would pick her up. Well, Cheyenne was having way too much fun to be picked up, but finally gave us permission to get her around 9pm.

When I arrived to pick her up, she had the giggles like you would not believe. I could not get her to stop giggling. She had James giggling, she had John giggling. Once we got in the car to go home, she had me giggling. What a silly little girl!!

I believe Cheyenne is planning on spending the day tomorrow at James' and John's house, for a board game marathon. Boy, those boys don't know what they are in store for. Cheyenne is one board game girl!!!!!!

I really need to go and answer a few more emails and visit a few of our friends sites, so I will cut this short tonight. Today was an email kind of day, probably 100 emails with most requiring some kind of response. Uggggh.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne and all the other children. God is an Awesome and Wonderful God. Thank you God for all the miracles that I witness every single day.

God bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, March 18, 2004 9:13 PM CST

Hey Peoples,

Guess who? Its me the stinker. I thought it would be fun if wrote my journal tonight.

I felt really really good today exept that at the end of the day I got sick to my stomach. Today I woke up at 10:30, aroun then at lest. It was a good sleep. I slept on my sisters futon. As you Know we stayed in San Antonio. When I finaly woke up when went and meet my dad's and My Friend(Karen). We meet at a resturant(Longhorn) and ate. It was delic. I shared a hamburger with my wounderful mom. My dad Is also wounderful but I shared with mom. The Best thing other then spending time with people there was a.....................................................................................................................claw mechaine. I won three stuffed animals they were all rabbits. One was different colors. Another was a plain brown rabbit but it didn't seem plain It was beutiful. The last rabbit that I won was a yellow rabbit that had a purple dress on. The dress had silver snow markings all over it.

After we said our good byes to Karen and San Antonio. We drove up the street to Boerne and went antiquting. Oh all so Karen picked out a resturant alittle out side of San Antonio so we din't have to go far to Boerne. My mom found a cute thing when we were shopping. It was a bowl looking thing that had cherrys around it. Oh by the way It was glass. It can hang from the ceiling and can hold a candle. Everyone I am so sorry that I can hardly find a way to say what It looks like. Dad was being nice and bought me one of those caculatores That if you say to print it on paper it will. Kinda like a cash register. It gave me something to do for a couple of hours because dad forgot to bring my dvd player.

Well we had a safe trip home and I am having alot of fun writeing this Journal entry. This Is so much fun.

Thank you for all the prayers for me and all the other caringbridge friends. Tonight Please say a extra prayer for my very good friends Jake, Maxie, Maddie, Jessie, Corinna, Jackson, and Michael. Thank you very much. And ........................................................ GOD BLESS YOU ALL EACH ONE OF YOU.

With all the love in the world,
Cheyenne Marie Fiveash

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 9:40 PM CST

We visited Cheyenne's oncologist in San Antonio today for her regularly scheduled appointment. There were no surprises. Cheyenne's blood counts were excellent, she has gained 2 pounds since the last appointment, and she is still symptom free. WE had originally intended to talk to the Dr about Cheyenne's left eye, since she was having a little trouble with it a couple of weeks ago. But the problems only lasted a couple of days and have since gone away. Our thoughts now are to wait until after the MRI next month and then possibly visit a neuro-optimologist. We'll just have to wait and see.

Cheyenne continues to have really great days with the exception of a little nausea on and off. We try to get her to take something for it, but she refuses. Either she is one tough cookie, or she likes to complain. Ha!!

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Tonight, please remember our friends Jake, Maxie, Corinna, Michael and Jackson. They are all experiencing problems right now and really in need of prayers.

Thank you

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 10:52 PM CST

Again today, Cheyenne felt GREAT all day, but a little nausea and stomach ache started late in the evening just prior to bed.

Today Cheyenne planned on big sis Diana doing something really fun and special. Well, I'm not sure how the ball got dropped, but when I called home to see what "fun" thing they were doing, Cheyenne told me that they were washing Diana's car. Ha!!! I don't think Cheyenne was too thrilled about it.

Donna and I spoke about it and decided to do a little something special after we got home, just to make up for her borrrrrring day.

Donna came home before me, and Cheyenne REALLY took advantage!! Apparently Donna did not read my journal entry too well a few days ago. Also must not have read Kody's mom's (Kim) laughs and jokes about it. Anyway, Donna asked Cheyenne to go outside with her to do something. While outside Cheyenne said, "here, hop on the go kart and I will give you a ride!" It was off to the races!!!!!! Donna said Cheyenne had that little mischievious smile, and kept going, and going, and going. Down to the gate and back, through her trails, twisting and turning, on and on. Sound familiar? Same thing happened to me a few days ago!! The little stink! Now who needs the Zofran?????

My name almost became mud in Cheyenne's book this evening. We had told her that after work, we would take her to Mr Gatti's for pizza and games. Well, guess what, I had to work late, reallll late! I finally got home just in time to rush to town and get there just before closing. Fortunately for me, it all worked out

Tomorrow we are in San Antonio for routine Dr appointments with her Oncologist. We are confident no surprises will pop up, as Cheyenne is doing better than anyone could ever imagine. God is really blessing this little girl and this family.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember our friends, Jake, Maxie, Michael, Kody, Jackson and Corinna in your prayers as all are experiencing medical complications or problems. Also, Fisher and Celeste have the tentative results of their tests. GREAT news!! Our God is an AWESOME God!!! Again, Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, March 15, 2004 8:42 PM CST

Today was another feel good day for our girl Cheyenne. She went to bed early last night with a pretty bad stomach ache and nausea, but it did not affect her today at all.

First day of spring break with her sister, and it was off to town shopping and having lunch together. When Donna and I came home from work Cheyenne was one hyper little girl. I noticed the go kart was parked out front, so I assume she took her sister riding, and probably riding, and riding!!!! When I walked through the door Cheyenne was stuck on me like glue, her normal, happy talkative self.

After feeding all the animals, including Cheyenne's little tiny lamb, "Scrumptious", we had to run into town for a few things. While in Lowes, Cheyenne was doing cartwheels down the aisles. She is soooo easy to read when she is feeling well. Singing, dancing, talking, spinning and throwing karate kicks, cartwheels, and all the while, those beautiful eyes just sparkling!!

Twelve years old is such a perfect age. She still has the little girl in her, but all the time there is the sweet, caring, young lady present. We are so very blessed to have this wonderful young lady to call as our daughter.

I guess you all have noticed that Cheyenne's website and the links are not yet updated. I guess I will quit mentioning it and maybe someday it will happen. We have such a busy schedule, it seems that I only have a few minutes each night to attempt it, and then it gets so late I have to go to bed. Last night, I actually spent over 2 hours working on it, and then, IT DID NOT WORK!!! So I am going to start all over again, one part at a time. I have been spending so much time on it as well as other things, I have been neglecting some of our caringbridge friends. And, in my book, they are more important.

I am not sure what sis has planned for tomorrow, but I am sure Cheyenne will love it.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember our friends, Jake, Maxie, Michael, Kody, and Corinna in your prayers as all are experiencing medical complications or problems. Also, I believe Fisher has a few tests coming up within the next few days which we are praying will be GREAT news. Again, Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, March 14, 2004 7:56 PM CST

Other than a few "bumps" in the road, Cheyenne had a really good day today. She had her stomach ache and nausea moments, but they do pass fairly quickly and she still makes up for it in between.

Today was a pretty busy day as well, although we didn't really do anything. This morning was church followed by our regular "after church" meal at a restaurant. The rest of the day was spent visiting Cheyenne's Grandparents near Paint Rock. It had been awhile since we had seen them due to all the flu and sickness we had for a couple of weeks. We couldn't afford to pass it on to them. I noticed while we were there that my dad had a big time with Cheyenne. Drawing pictures, talking, etc.. And Cheyenne's hugs and smiles were pretty free flowing. I think they had fun!!

The weekend is gone, and tomorrow is another workday. UGGGGG! The good news is that Cheyenne is on spring break so her and big sis Diana have all kinds of plans for the week. Then we do have a regularly scheduled doctor's appointment in San Antonio on Wednesday. We are not expecting any surprises, as Cheyenne continues to do very well. Next month will be the MRI month. I am sure there will be some tense moments in between with the MRI jitters, etc..

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember our friends, Jake, Maxie, Michael, Kody, and Corinna in your prayers as all are experiencing some very scary moments.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, March 13, 2004 9:19 PM CST

I am sure you noticed the photo of Cheyenne and the two good looking boys on the front page. Today John and James Bouligny came over and gave Cheyenne that BEAUTIFUL floral arrangement. When she asked "Why?". They said, "Just Because!". Is that not the sweetest thing you ever heard of? Now I have no clue, but I do know that this little gesture sure cleared up all the cheerleading sadness that was going around!!

Today was a pretty normal day. Cheyenne felt great all morning and afternoon, and Mom, Diana, and Cheyenne drug Dad all over town shopping. Well, maybe a little exaggeration, but we were in town shopping for over 4 hours. For me, that is a LONG time! This evening Cheyenne had an onset of nausea and stomach ache. Right now she is not feeling very well, but we are hoping it will pass quickly.

Many of our friends are going through some difficult times right now and are in need of urgent prayers:

Yesterday, sweet little Abby Ortiz became one of the newest angels in heaven. Please pray for her family during this very sad and lonely time without their baby.

Another of our friends, Corrina, was taken to the hospital today due to some severe symptoms that came on rather suddenly.

Maxie is having a little setback and is undergoing antibotic treatment and tests.

Jake is battling as hard as he can and is not having good days.

I understand that little Michael Dornauer is also not doing real well.

Please join me in offering prayers up to the Lord for these children and their families. Thank you.

I know that I have said this before, but I hope to at least start redesigning Cheyenne's site tonight, even if it is just adding a few links. Wish me luck!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

UPDATED 12 Midnight

Our buddy Kody Bear has been having some pretty severe headaches as of late near the area of his shunt. Please pray for our little guy, especially as he goes into the hospital tomorrow in an attempt to determine the cause.

Thank you
Roy

Friday, March 12, 2004 8:43 PM CST

For several hours this evening we had a little girl with a big broken heart. Cheyenne found out just before school let out that she did not make the Cheerleader team. Cheyenne really, really had the moves and the cheers down perfectly. But, life is not fair. Fifty percent of the score is by the instructors etc. on how well the girls do the cheer. The other fifty percent is basically a popularity contest with the students voting. Since Cheyenne is only in the 6th grade, we knew that the 7th grade girls would have a much better chance, and that was just the way that it was. Hopefully next year!

I have no idea what is planned for this weekend, but thank goodness it is the weekend. This was the loooongest week.

Next week we have Cheyenne's regularly scheduled Doctor's appointment in San Antonio on Wednesday, right in the middle of her spring break. Cheyenne isn't very excited about that.

Please remember Jake and his parents in your prayers tonight. Jake and his mom, Susan, have been the inpiration to sooo many parents of children with brain tumors. So many of us would not be where we are if not for those wonderful people, the support, the caring, and the inspiration that they gave. Now they need us. Need I say more. God Bless you Big Jake, Susan and Mark!! We love you guys!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, March 11, 2004 8:10 PM CST

We could get used to days like today!!!! Another GREAT day for Cheyenne. She is so hyper, I don't think she would feel bad for anything.

Hyper, Hyper, why you might ask? Tomorrow morning is the Cheerleader tryouts at school! Since I have been home from work, it has been CHEER, CHEER, CHEER!!! Lots and Lots of practice, over and over. Each time, Cheyenne calls either mom or dad and asks if we want to see it. Well, what can we say? Of Course!!! And I might add, she is REALLY good. And her former cheerleader sister Diana came home from college today. So she is helping her little sis out on all the moves.

Wish her luck tomorrow!!!!

Our very, very good friend Jake is really in need of prayers. So please say a prayer for Big Jake tonight..

Also, beautiful Celeste has an MRI coming up monday, so join me in praying for an EXCELLENT scan.

Thank you everyone, for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, March 10, 2004 8:03 PM CST

This morning happened to be a zofran morning, but I believe Cheyenne wanted it more as a preventative than feeling really bad. It has been 3 days since the end of this round of chemo, so a little tummy upset is expected.

Cheyenne said she had a really good day at school today, with the exception of a little nausea toward the end of the day. But a little nausea could not get her down for a second, since today was the Cheerleader practice tryout. She would not have missed that for a thousand dollars.

After getting home from practice, I knew her tummy was bothering her a little, so I suggested a ride on the go kart. Well, old Mario Andretti put dad in the passenger seat and off we went. It was down the road, through the pasture, over the hills and through the brush. She got a few laughs out of dear old dad holding on for dear life. And you know what, the nausea went away just in time for a big dinner topped off with a milkshake. We'll put some weight on this kid yet!!

Our family had a miracle of sorts today. When Christopher and his family came back from Alaska, they took one of the dogs from our house to his. It seems that about 2 1/2 weeks ago, someone let him out of the back yard and he has been lost since. We have done an ad in the paper, picture on the Humane Society web site, many, many miles of driving around looking, etc.. Today when Donna called the pound for her daily check, they informed us that they had seen our dog yesterday at a certain intersection in San Angelo, but could not catch it. (The dog is a three legged dog, how hard is it to catch?) Anyway, a quick trip to that side of town and there he is, sitting at the intersection as if just waiting for us. Smiles today replaced those tears for Cheyenne over the past 2 1/2 weeks. Jessie is pretty happy to be home too!!

Well, two more days until Cheerleader tryouts. Cheyenne keeps telling us that she knows that she won't make the cut, but she wants to try anyway. Can you imagine how happy this little girl will be if she makes it??

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. You all are part of our miracle in progress. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, March 9, 2004 9:16 PM CST

This morning the ride to school with Cheyenne was one of those rides. Little Miss Cheyenne had a lot to say and dear old dad listened alot. I believe she covered every subject there is, from politics to music. It was a good ride as Cheyenne was feeling good.

When I came home from work this evening, I walked into the house and Donna said that Cheyenne was out saddling BlackJack. Well, I know that Cheyenne is 12 going on 21, but she is really too short to get the saddle on easily by herself. BlackJack is a pretty tall horse. By the time I changed and got out there Cheyenne had the bridle on and was working on the saddle. Quite the little independent stink!!

While Cheyenne was riding BlackJack, I was working with the sheep near the horsebarn and I started watching Cheyenne as she was riding. She would walk Blackjack and sing, "This is the way that boys ride, this is the way that boys ride, etc..." Then she would break into a gallop and start singing, "This is the way that girls ride, this is the way that girls ride, etc...! Ha, the things that go through her head!!!!

This evening Cheyenne's stomach started acting up a little. She has had about 30 to 45 minutes of upset stomach, but refuses to take a Zofran for it. Tomorrow is another Cheerleading practice, and then thursday or friday is the tryouts, so I hope the stomach thing doesn't get in the way.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. You have no idea how much support you offer for the parents and children when you visit their sites, include them in your prayers, leave little guestbook entries, etc.. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, March 8, 2004 8:54 PM CST

Today was another very good day for Cheyenne, no effects from the last round of chemo, still feeling good, and living a normal 12 year old life. She did pull a muscle in her back sometime today, and is suffering from it tonight. I believe she was doing a cart wheel or something. Hopefully she will be able to get out of bed tomorrow!

Cheyenne spent the day at school, ending the day with the Jr High Cheerleader Clinic. This was a mandatory clinic for all girls trying out for cheerleader for next year. I believe final tryouts are later this week.

Tonight it has been homework and cheerleader practice, all night.

For those of you wondering about the little lamb, it is alive and doing well, still spending the nights in a box in the house, and even though her mother accepts her, she does not nurse. Soooo, it appears as if Cheyenne will be playing a mother role for awhile.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I would like to ask you to please remember Jake each time you offer a prayer over the next few weeks. Jake is a very special boy that has beat all odds fighting the same tumor as Cheyenne. Now he is battling the effects of the treatment that modern medicine uses to treat this tumor. He has beat the odds before, and with the Lords help, he can do it again.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, March 7, 2004 7:22 PM CST

^^^^^^^^^^THIS ROUND OF CHEMO IS OVER, HISTORY^^^^^^^^^^

It is extremely easy to tell when Cheyenne is having a GREAT day. She smiles and sings out loud constantly, skips everywhere she goes, alternating the skips with jumps and twirls, and those beautiful eyes of her's just sparkle.

Today was another one of those days. She is one amazing little girl. I wish I was only half as tough as she is.

This morning Cheyenne was up early and off to Sunday School and Church with her mom. I missed Sunday School, but met them at church. Cheyenne sang louder than anyone else in church during the songs.

The church and Cheyenne's youth group purchased over a hundred tickets to see "The Passion" this afternoon. So as soon as church was over, and we grabbed a bite to eat we met everyone at the movie theater. I know many people have commented on "The Passion", so I will only say that is indeed very intense and emotional. It really puts what Christ did for each of us into prespective.

Following the movie, Cheyenne was anxious to get back home and on BlackJack. She really has that horse working for her. I have not seen him this active or this good in a couple of years. He seems to have fun with Cheyenne riding him.

Also, it appears as if we may have a new addition to our household. The lamb that we reunited with its mom yesterday, well, the mom still recognizes it and talks to it, but the lamb doesn't nurse from her. The poor little thing was almost dead this morning and we were able to bring it back. Against my better judgement, it is now in a box in the house. We'll keep it in the house at night so it will not freeze, feed it every 4 hours, and take it to its mom every morning. Sounds like a good plan, but knowing sheep, I bet the mom will refuse to recognize it after a night in the house. We DO NOT need an orphan lamb to feed. Been there and done that, MANY times!!

One last thing I need to mention. If you hear a strange noise coming from our house, Cheyenne is also learning to play a trumpet. OK, she wants to play violin, keyboard, baritone, and now trumpet. It all started when the school issued her the baritone for band. The next day, we just happened to find a used trumpet for a very reasonable price. And, if I am not mistaken, James plays a trumpet.

We are so very blessed with Cheyenne's continued miracle healing. Please continue the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Our God is an awesome and merciful God and through Him, all things are possible. Also, please remember our friends Jake, Lakota, and Julianna in your prayers tonight.

Goid Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, March 6, 2004 7:34 PM CST

*****ONLY ONE MORE DAY OF CHEMO THIS ROUND*****

Today was a BEAUTIFUL West Texas day! The temperature was in the 70's, no wind, bright sun, and everything is turning green from the recent rains.

To match the beautiful day, Cheyenne was feeling GREAT. This morning, even though this is her 4th day of chemo, Cheyenne started the day with a big breakfast of scrambled eggs, pancakes, and sausage. As a matter of fact, Cheyenne even made the eggs.

Following breakfast, Cheyenne and I ventured outside and found several new born lambs in the pasture. One of the little stinkers was a tiny, tiny runt, barely alive from not nursing and it being a pretty cold night. So, the mother in Cheyenne kicked in and within minutes the little lamb had a stomach full of warm milk and was reunited with its mom. This evening, Cheyenne gave it another bottle of milk, but its mom seems to taking care of it just fine now.

Also this morning, Cheyenne asked me to trim her horse's feet so she could ride later in the day. So with a little help from her, I was able to finally get it done. You know, farriers do not get near enough money for their work. That is the most back breaking work in the world.

After a short trip into town to pick up a few things, we came home early enough for Cheyenne to saddle and ride her best buddy in the world, BlackJack. Honestly, BlackJack is one of the best horses I have ever seen. He is a little lazy, but with encouragment from Cheyenne, he really performed for her today. I might mention, BlackJack is a one person horse. No one but Cheyenne can ride him, and he loves his girl.

Days such as today remind us of how blessed this family has been. Cheyenne is truly a miracle. It has been 8 months since modern medicine told us that our little girl would only be with us a very short time, and that there was nothing they could do other than possibly slow down the tumor growth. Today, by the grace of God, thousands of prayers, and an alternative treatment, Cheyenne is living the normal life of a 12 year old. She is symptom free and planning her future life like any little girl should. Thank you Lord for blessing this family, for blessing our little girl, and for blessing our friends.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are the most awesome power on earth. Keep the faith and God Bless each and every one of you.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, March 5, 2004 10:14 PM CST

*****ONLY 2 MORE DAYS OF CHEMO ON THIS ROUND*****

Today, Cheyenne's third day of chemo on this round, was a very good day for our little girl.

We overslept a little this morning due to an electrical outage and alarm clock malfunction, but still made to school before the bell rang. The trip to school was one of those I often talk about. Cheyenne was smiling, her eyes sparkling, and we were talking about everything in the world. She felt good.

This afternoon just before 5pm, Cheyenne called me at work. She told me that she was just calling to tell me that she loved me and missed me. Of course, I wasn't born yesterday, so I asked, "And what else?" Well it seemed, that she did love me and miss me, but the primary reason for the call was that she was really hungry for Chinese food. Well, lately, anytime that Cheyenne is hungry, we take advantage of it to put a little weight on her. So I told her I would be home in 20 minutes, and we would go eat anywhere her little heart desired.

It seems that tonight, her little heart desired the Mathis Field Cafe. Very good chinese food, and also very inexpensive. Cheyenne was about 1/2 way through her egg roll, 1/2 order of fried noodles, and a full order of Hon Sil Pork, when she suddenly stopped eating. Her mom looked at her and asked if everything was ok. Cheyenne said, "I don't feel so good." Just about 10 seconds later, Cheyenne said, "OK, I'm, not sick anymore.", and went back to eating. Chemo is a very strange thing!

After eating, Cheyenne wanted to rent a movie and make a family affair of watching it at home. If you have never seen "Radio", it is really awesome. It brings about every emotion you can muster. But, as I re-learned during the movie, parents of children with BT's and cancer really shouldn't watch emotional movies!

Just before the movie, Cheyenne presented Donna and I with a hand made certificate that I have to share with you. The certificate, signed by Cheyenne says: "This Certificate is awarded to Donna and Roy Fiveash for the highest reward of Best Parents Award. Given on the this day of March 5, 2004." That was worth of few hugs and kisses.

Cheyenne had a cough free day until lying down to sleep just a few minutes ago. So she is improving every single day from this flu or whatever it was..

I am anticipating a very good day tomorrow. We really don't have anything planned, but as long as Cheyenne feels good, it will be an AWESOME FANTASTIC day.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Of course, our Lord Jesus Christ is the most important thing in our life, and prayers are what keep us going from day to day.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, March 4, 2004 10:16 PM CST

*****2ND DAY OF CHEMO FOR THIS ROUND IS OVER*****

This is my second attempt to load a journal, but I keep losing my internet connection. So this will be very short.

So far, no really bad symptoms from this round of chemo. I did notice that Cheyenne's color is really too pale, and she has those dark circles under her eyes. That is not a good sign. We can't afford for this virus that she has been fighting for a couple of weeks to get a hold on her again. I really don't know much about this virus, except that 1/2 of San Angelo has it and it takes weeks for it to go away.

Tonight Cheyenne is coughing nonstop. During homework time, she could barely concentrate because of her coughing.

Hopefully, tomorrow this cough will be history.

Thank you all for the continued prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, March 3, 2004 8:55 PM CST

****1 DAY OF CHEMO DOWN, ONLY 4 MORE TO GO THIS ROUND****

Today was the start of another round of chemo for Cheyenne. So far, so good. She was a little droopy a few minutes ago, but with all that she has done today, it probably has nothing to do with chemo.

We were all up early again today and off to school. It seems to be getting a habit of getting to school with minutes to spare, rather than seconds to spare. I have been making an effort so that maybe she would eat breakfast at school as well as at home. We really would like to put a few pounds on this girl.

I understand that she dedicated her time between getting home from school and when I came home to creating more cards, letters, and pictures for a few of her caringbridge friends. She is becoming a pretty good artist.

When I came home from work today, Cheyenne met me at the door, singing and dancing. Apparently she was feeling pretty good! Then before I could even get changed, she pulled me out the door to the trampoline. She just had to show me some jumps for cheerleading tryouts.

After coming back into the house around dark, it was homework, homework, homework, until bed. I have learned more tonight about finding areas of triangles and polygons than I ever wanted to know.

We noticed that little Ross Joiner's funeral was today in Lubbock. Cheyenne had wanted to go, but we were unaware it was today. Hopefully she will understand. Please remember Ross' family during this extremely difficult time, and keep little Trevor in your daily prayers.

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Also, if you would, say a little extra prayer for Jake and Maxie. And be sure to thank the Lord for Emily's continued healing.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, March 2, 2004 7:43 PM CST

Cheyenne awoke this morning feeling great and ready to tackle the day. We actually arrived at school 10 minutes earlier than normal.

This afternoon, as I was meeting the school bus to pick up Cheyenne, I saw her through the window, looking at me and smiling from ear to ear. She worked her way toward the front of the bus, and spent a few extra seconds at the front before stepping off. There she was, grinning from ear to ear, her eyes sparkling, and in her hand was a HUGE musical instrument case. It was so big she could barely get it off the bus. Cheyenne is now learning to play a Baritone Horn!! It seems that at the first of the school year, when Cheyenne was out of town undergoing treatment, the school band was formed. When she started back to school, she wanted to participate, but there were no vacancies. Today, one of her very good friends, James, talked her into asking again if she could join. Well, actually, James asked Cheyenne if she wanted to join, to which Cheyenne says "Yes". Knowing how shy that Cheyenne is, I believe James did all the talking for her. So, Cheyenne is now in Band class.

Oh, in case you have never heard a baritone horn, believe me, it is LOUD!! I mean REAL LOUD! The poor dogs and cats around our house have no idea what to think. Little Cinnamon cocks her head with one ear up and the other down, and just stares at Cheyenne when she is practicing.

There is never a dull moment around the Fiveash household. Let's see, this past weekend, Cheyenne decided that she was going to start Rodeo, and has me getting her horse all ready. Yesterday Cheyenne decided that she was going to try out for Cheerleading. Then today, the Baritone Horn. I can't wait for tomorrow!!

Thank you to everyone for checking on our little girl, and for so many of you that offer prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. When you say your prayers tonight, please say an extra prayer for Maxie, Jake, and LaKota. Also please remember Ross Joiner's family during this very difficult time.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, March 1, 2004 8:19 PM CST

This morning Cheyenne was out of bed and ready to go to school a little earlier than usual. She seemed a little anxious to go, and it was not until after school did I find out why. Today they handed out the paperwork to try out for the Junior High School Cheer Leaders. Cheyenne says that she is definately trying out.

The practices and tryouts are the 8th and 10th, which just happen to correspond to the dates that her chemo will probably be making her feel her worse. But there is no keeping her down. When we explained this to her, she just said, "O Well!"

After school today (when we weren't doing homework) Cheyenne was out on the trampoline practicing her jumps and kicks.

Cheyenne seems to be feeling a little better each day. I am not sure exactly what kind of virus that she had, but one thing is for certain, she was able to get over it alot faster than dear old dad. I am still having days that I can barely get out of bed.

I still really don't feel worth a hoot, so I am going to cut this off short again. Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember Maxie and Jake in your prayers tonight along with Ross Joiner's family.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, February 29, 2004 8:40 PM CST

Little Ross Joiner from Lubbock, Tx is one of Heaven's newest angels. Sweet little Ross went to be with the Lord yesterday. He is now cancer free, happy, running and playing I am sure. Please keep his parents, Joe and Janet in your prayers. Also, Little Ross' brother, Trevor, is still undergoing treatment, so please keep him in your prayers as well until we can get him home.

Also tonight, a few of our very good friends really needs prayers and encouragement. Maxie is having a really hard time right now, and there is a 14 year old boy, named Carl Larimore, that attends Lee Jr High in San Angelo that is currently undergoing treatment for Leukemia. Our very good friend Big Jake is fighting regrowth of his tumor. For those that do not know, Jake and his family are so very special to us, we could not have made it this far without their help and support.

***********************************************************

This morning Cheyenne did not feel so well, but after allowing her to get a little additional rest, she was ready to face the world.

This afternoon was her end of Basketball party with Coach Slate. It was held at Mr Gatti's Pizza, and I understand that there was a lot of pizza eaten and games played. All the girls came home with a beautiful trophy. Also Cheyenne was awarded "The Most Determined Player" award by the Coach. Again, Thank you Coach, and Thank you girls for a wonderful nonforgettable season!

Cheyenne and I have been doing a little homework this evening, and she just advised me that we WERE NOT THROUGH! So, I will cut this short and get back to the homework.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all. None of us could get through this without you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, February 28, 2004 9:28 PM CST

THE MYSTIC SLATES CLOSE OUT THEIR SEASON WITH A WIN!!!!!

This evening Cheyenne had her last basketball game of the season with the Mystic Slates. The Slates started off the game a little slow and trailed until after half. Finally a three pointer put them ahead and they were able to hold the lead the rest of the game.

Cheyenne and a couple of other girls have been with Coach Slate since they began her YMCA basketball. This is Cheyenne's last year of eligibility in the YMCA, so it is a little sad. This year her Coach and Team mates insisted on Cheyenne being on the team, although at the time, Cheyenne was just diagnosed, undergoing heavy chemo and radiation, and we had no idea that she would really play. The girls said at least they wanted her on the bench, that she was part of the team. The girls also wanted Cheyenne to name the team this year, as they change names each year. Thus, the Mystic Slates!

So you can understand how we all feel tonight. Cheyenne just loves basketball, just loves her coach, and her team mates. So it is going to be a little hard for a while.

Thank you Coach Slate, thank you girls, it was a GREAT season!

Cheyenne is still feeling pretty good, although this bug that she has had for awhile is still taking its toll. It will be great when she is back to 100 percent. Of course, in 3 days Cheyenne starts chemo again. We had hoped that she would be back to normal before it was time, but it doesn't look like that will happen. We are praying that Cheyenne holds up to the chemo as well as she has in the past, even though her little body is a little weak right now.

---------------------------------------------------------
Several of our friends have special needs tonight, so please take a little time to pray for these wonderful children and their families. Jake, Emily, Maddie, the Joiner brothers, Maxie, and Matthew and sweet little LaKota (I don't believe I have her site linked as of yet). Some of these children are having scans, Dr appointments, or tests, while others are experiencing difficulties.

Also, I don't know when I am going to have time to redesign this website, but there are several links that I intend to add. One of those links is to the Tumbleweed Foundation site. It is a very worthy site in honor and rememberance of one of our special angel friends, Julia Levy. If you haven't visited it, the address is www.tumbleweedfoundation.org . Until I add a link, I believe you will have to copy and paste the address in the address bar. Also, Cheyenne is one of the featured children for february on the site. By visiting, you can meet a few more of our friends that we visit regularly, but don't have linked here yet.

Thank you all for the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, February 27, 2004 11:47 PM CST

Today was one ACTIVE day. It is now almost midnight, and we are just getting home.

We promised Cheyenne something special today, so we left the house this morning around 10am, and spent the ENTIRE day at the San Angelo Stock Show, Rodeo, Carnival, and Exibition. The ENTIRE day!!!

We had sausage on a stick, fresh squeezed lemonade, cotton candy, popcorn, and TWO funnel cakes. Cheyenne rode almost every ride at the carnival, and many, 3 or 4 times. We ran into Coach Slate, Christene, Hanna and Stan soon after arriving at the carnival. So Christene and Cheyenne were off to see how many rides they could ride and how much of their parents money they could spend on carnival games. You know, there are some pretty good bargins at carnivals. For a mere $10 to $20, you can generally win a $1 stuffed animal. HA!!

When our two families were just about totally exhausted and the kids weren't smiling quite as much, we left the fairgrounds for about an hour to grab a bite of REAL food. Of course, after sitting in the cafe for an hour eating, Cheyenne was all rested up and ready to return to the carnival. This time around we met the Berry family. Then it was Jordan and Cheyenne off to the races to attempt to ride every ride at least 2 more times.

Fortunately for mom and dad, we had bought tickets to tonight's rodeo at 7:30, so we were able to pull the kids out of the carnival to make it to the rodeo where we could SIT DOWN.

Now I have to comment on the rodeo. The rodeo in San Angelo has always been a major annual event. This rodeo is in the top 10 in North America, and so all the big name cowboys are here. But, this year's rodeo was really something special. It started with a very special and wonderful prayer (now how many public events start that way?) Then instead of just having an American flag, they had the LARGEST American flag in the WORLD! It was unfurled by military men and women representing every branch in the middle of the arena area. It was SO LARGE, it almost filled the entire arena floor area!! Then the activities and events were absolutely the BEST I have ever seen. The people responsible for the rodeo this year had said that they were changing a few things. Well they did, and it was fabulous!!

Following the rodeo, we again went out into the exhibition/carnival area, but not to ride more rides, Cheyenne wanted ANOTHER funnel cake!! After making short work of the funnel cake, we were finally enroute back home. On the way back home Cheyenne informed us that she has decided what athletic event she was going to participate in. She is going into RODEO!! I was afraid to ask her if she just wanted to do barrels or if she was going to ride bulls.

On the way home her mom asked her what was the best part of the day. You know what she said??? "Just being with you guys!" Now is that sweet or what?

It is late and I am VERY tired, so this journal is long enough.

-------------------------------------------------------

Several of our friends have special needs tonight, so please take a little time to pray for these wonderful children and their families. Jake, Emily, Maddie, the Joiner brothers, Maxie, and Matthew and sweet little LaKota (I don't believe I have her site linked as of yet). Some of these children are having scans, Dr appointments, or tests, while others are experiencing difficulties.

Also, I don't know when I am going to have time to redesign this website, but there are several links that I intend to add. One of those links is to the Tumbleweed Foundation site. It is a very worthy site in honor and rememberance of one of our special angel friends, Julia Levy. If you haven't visited it, the address is www.tumbleweedfoundation.org . Until I add a link, I believe you will have to copy and paste the address in the address bar. Also, Cheyenne is one of the featured children for february on the site. By visiting, you can meet a few more of our friends that we visit regularly, but don't have linked here yet.

Thank you all for the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, February 26, 2004 9:18 PM CST

This morning it was cold, cold, cold for West Texas. It looked like a winter wonderland driving all the way to school. Everything was white with a heavy frost and ice.

Cheyenne woke up feeling great and had a very good, excellent day at school. The teacher did not use the overhead projector, and NO headache..

After school and work, Cheyenne decided to break out the go kart. She hasn't been on it for a while. She was a regular Dale Earnhart Jr, racing around the house. You could see her smiling face everytime she drove by.

When I came in from feeding all the animals at the Fiveash Zoo, Cheyenne had a little surprise. She was making dinner for the three of us. Chicken Alfredo, with those little folded napkins on the table and everything. She even insisted on serving us, made coffee for mom and tea for me. Ice Cream for desert. Now to the best part, Cheyenne had 2ND HELPINGS and ICE CREAM. At the last Dr appointment, she had lost 1 1/2 lbs (probably from the flu). Now, hopefully she is going to reverse that!!!!

Afterwards, Cheyenne drug me into her room for several games on the XBox, and then back out into the living room for a board game. Cheyenne realllly loves board games, and Dad reallly don't. Oh Well!! What we do for our children!!!! Also Cheyenne spent awhile being an artist, drawing a few things for cards to send out to a few of her friends. She is quite the artist!!

Tomorrow Donna and I have taken off work since Cheyenne has the day off from school. We have a special day planned for her, but I don't want her to read this and ruin it.

Several of our friends have special needs tonight, so please take a little time to pray for these wonderful children and their families. Jake, Emily, Maddie, the Joiner brothers, Maxie, and Matthew and sweet little LaKota (I don't believe I have her site linked as of yet). Some of these children are having scans, Dr appointments, or tests, while others are experiencing difficulties. Also, HOW ABOUT Fisher's MRI?? FANTASTIC!! Also our bud Kody Bear, GREAT Dr appointment!!!! Thank you God for those answered prayers!

Also, I don't know when I am going to have time to redesign this website, but there are several links that I intend to add. One of those links is to the Tumbleweed Foundation site. It is a very worthy site in honor and rememberance of one of our special angel friends, Julia Levy. If you haven't visited it, the address is www.tumbleweedfoundation.org . Until I add a link, I believe you will have to copy and paste the address in the address bar. Also, Cheyenne is one of the featured children for february on the site. By visiting, you can meet a few more of our friends that we visit regularly, but don't have linked here yet.

Thank you all for the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, February 25, 2004 9:12 PM CST

Does everyone have a busy schedule like we do??? It seems like there is something to do every minute of every day.

This morning Cheyenne and I had a wonderful trip to school. She was feeling great, smiling and happy. There were snow flurries in the air, but it wasn't too awfully cold. The closer we came to her school, the bigger the snow flakes became and there was actually a dusting of snow on the ground and in the trees It was beautiful and gave us a lot to be thankful for and to talk about.

Cheyenne says that she had a great day in school, at least until the afternoon class with the overhead projector. She says that taking notes in the dark, and looking up at the projector is what is giving her the headache. Fortunately, soon after getting home from school, the headache diminished without having to take anything for it.

This evening Cheyenne and family went to church for a youth sponsored baked potatoe dinner with toppings. Cheyenne was helping serve and made sure that mom and dad had our tea glasses full to the top.

Following dinner, we attended Ash Wednesday service where Cheyenne was one of the Acolytes. We sat right behind her and the other Acolyte during the service and I could not help but watch her. She was listening, taking notes, smiling, and looking as healthy as any 12 year old girl. We have been so blessed with her healing. She really is a miracle in progress. Over the past few weeks she was pretty pale in the face and had dark rings under her eyes. Tonight her beautiful face had color and her eyes were sparkling. How I love that girl!!!

The bad news of the night is that by the time we got home, there was no time to do homework/makeup work for school. AWWWWWW!! Oh, Well, twice as much tomorrow night.

Several of our friends have special needs tonight, so please take a little time to pray for these wonderful children and their families. Jake, Emily, Maddie, the Joiner brothers, Maxie, Fisher, Kody Bear, and Matthew and sweet little LaKota (I don't believe I have her site linked as of yet). Some of these children are having scans, Dr appointments, or tests, while others are experiencing difficulties.

Also, I don't know when I am going to have time to redesign this website, but there are several links that I intend to add. One of those links is to the Tumbleweed Foundation site. It is a very worthy site in honor and rememberance of one of our special angel friends, Julia Levy. If you haven't visited it, the address is www.tumbleweedfoundation.org . Until I add a link, I believe you will have to copy and paste the address in the address bar. Also, Cheyenne is one of the featured children for february on the site. By visiting, you can meet a few more of our friends that we visit regularly, but don't have linked here yet.

Thank you all for the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all on this Ash Wednesday.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, February 24, 2004 10:04 PM CST

Today Grandma B. and Aunt Ne Ne flew back to Milwaukee. So, it is a little lonely. It was sure great having them here, Aunt Judy too!!

Cheyenne attended school all day, and from what she has said, had a great time. Today, however, marked the 2nd day in a row that she came home with a horrible headache. She seems to think it has something to do with a particular class at school where they are using an overhead projector for the past 2 days. She has gotten the headache in that afternoon class for both days. Headaches for BT children are a scary thing and we parents always imagine the worse.

After getting home, and taking an ibuprofen, we made it to her last basketball practice of the season. Saturday will be her last game. She is really a little sad about that.

Tonight, thanks to Cheyenne's Chemo Angelo Lori, Cheyenne, Mom, and Dad are all decorated with little blue angels. Angel Lori, who is the most faithful chemo angel in the whole world, sent Cheyenne a little mail cheer today, which included a pen with an angel stamp on top. Cheyenne thinks this is so neat, and is stamping everything, including mom and dad.

When Cheyenne was opening her mail tonight, which included several Get Well cards and letters, we had a little discussion about how such a lucky little girl she is. Sooo many people, many who have never even met her in person, care so very much about her. Cheyenne smiled that sweet smile, and said, "yep, I am really lucky".

After basketball practice, we were able to knock out a little math homework. Now, let's see, at this rate we should have all the homework done by, say, 2005.. No, it is really not that bad. I expected a lot more. Fortunately, Cheyenne is pretty smart and we get through the homework fairly easily.

Tonight, there are several of our friends that have special needs, so please take a little time to pray for these wonderful children and their families. Jake, Emily, Maddie, the Joiner brothers, Maxie, Fisher, Kody Bear, and Matthew and sweet little LaKota (I don't believe I have her site linked as of yet). Some of these children are having scans, Dr appointments, or tests, while others are experiencing difficulties.

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Our God is an awesome and merciful God! God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, February 23, 2004 10:39 PM CST

YEA!!!!CHEYENNE MADE TO SCHOOL AGAIN!!!!!!!!

It has been a long 2 weeks for my pumpkin, Cheyenne. First the chemo taking its toll, and then that horrible case of the flu, but she is on her way back to the happy little girl that we know and love. She is still no where close to 100still tires fairly easily and coughs quite abit, but slowly but surely she is rebounding. Today she was able to make it to school after amost 2 weeks. Of course this does present a problem. Can you imagine the homework and makeup work involved after being gone almost 2 weeks? UGGGGGGG!!

This evening was Cheyenne's sister in law, Jodi's birthday. To celebrate, Michael and Jodi had us over for a wonderful dinner and birthday party. Cheyenne was able to spend the entire evening with her nephew and niece, Bryce and Alyssa. Lots of fun, computer games, and laughs took place.

Oh, I almost forgot. Today Cheyenne received a wonderful package from her very good friend Benji. Cheyenne said it was just like getting part of Biloxi, Ms in the mail. Thanks Benji. We love you. Stay healthy and have lots and lots of fun. You made this little girl happy today.

Tomorrow Grandma B and Aunt Ne Ne are heading back to Milwaukee, Wi. We wish they could stay a little longer, but they are off to the land of the cold!!!BRRRR. Oh, did I fail to mention that it has been in the 70's here for the past week or so!!

Each and every night I have to thank every one of you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I truly mean it when I say that we could not do it without you. Prayers are such an important part of our children's healing, as all healing comes from God. Tonight and for the next several weeks, if you would, please remember our very, very good caringbridge friends in your prayers. Especially our little buddy Jake Griffin, Cheyenne's caringbridge sister Maddie, and Sweet little Emily. Also please remember Matthew as he goes in for a CLEAR scan Wednesday and adorable Celeste as she makes Cheyenne smile everyday. Also our very good friend Maxie is pretty sick and still in the hospital and really needs prayers as do the Joiner boys.. There are so many, and they are all so special to us.

Thank you all and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, February 22, 2004 9:12 PM CST

Today was a really low key day for Cheyenne and the rest of the family. Cheyenne awoke this morning feeling good, still a little run down from having the flu for a week, but feeling better than she has been.

After church, it was just a lazy day sitting around the house watching TV and playing board games. She finally fell asleep on the couch around 8pm.

Tomorrow we hope to turn into a School Day. It has been so long since Cheyenne has been to school, I hate to even think about all the makeup homework. UGGGGG!! So if anyone out there wants to drop over tomorrow night and help, just give us a call..HA.

Also, this afternoon I am feeling much better, so hopefully I will return to checking on a few of our caringbridge friends a little more faithfully.

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, February 21, 2004 8:42 PM CST

Slowly but surely I am getting my old Cheyenne back from the flu! This morning she was up early and ate a big breakfast (that's 2 meals in a row). NO nausea or fever, just a little sore throat and cough is all that is left of this nasty bug that has kept her down for a week.

This evening Cheyenne was ready to play some basketball, so it was off to the 5pm game. Unfortunately, the Mystic Slates suffered their 3rd loss of the season, but it was a hard played game. Also unfortunately, there is only one game left in the season. I am not sure what Miss Cheyenne will do after basketball season is over. Just in case I haven't mentioned it, Cheyenne LOVES her basketball, her team, and THE Coach.

After the game, we had the honor of meeting Erica Landers, a young lady from San Angelo that is about Cheyenne's age and a 7 year cancer survivor. Way to go Erica. Hopefully the girls can get together sometime. After going through all that they have, they have an automatic bond.

Tonight Cheyenne is writing a few of her caringbridge friends, drawing some pictures, etc. and having a grand old time.

Earlier tonight, we were driving home in my big blue pickup. I am having problems with the diesel fuel pump, which I have yet to figure out. As we were driving down the road, the truck started cutting out. I looked at Cheyenne and she said, "Well, it looks like Old Blue is coming down with the flu!" Ha. Even her sense of humor is coming back.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, February 20, 2004 8:39 PM CST

Well, now it is official. Cheyenne gave whatever bug she has to me, so she should start feeling better shortly.

This virus really has a hold on Cheyenne. I don't remember her being this sick, ever. The good news is, that each day she is a little better. This morning she felt really bad, but has not had anything for her fever since noon, and she is holding her own. As a matter of fact, tonight at dinner Cheyenne actually ate. This is probably her first meal that she has eaten since Monday.

As I was going through of our friends websites tonight, I found quite a few with what sounds like this same thing. It is amazing how it gets around, all over the country.

Since Cheyenne was still sick today, she missed basketball practice tonight. Oh, she wanted to go, even if to just sit there and watch. We have told her that if she has a good night tonight, and gets up tomorrow symptom free, we may let her make the 5pm game tomorrow. That is a lot of "if's", but she really wants to go. But then we have to be careful, as if she is contagious, we can't afford to give it to anyone else.

Maxie's Grandmother, Julie, emailed me earlier tonight to tell me that Maxie was enroute to the hospital for a really high fever that they couldn't control. So if you get a chance, please say a little prayer for Maxie.

I have been so busy the last several days with my little sick pumpkin, I haven't really had a chance to sign her caringbridge friend's sites. Hopefully tonight!!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, February 19, 2004 8:56 PM CST

Today was a much better day for Cheyenne than yesterday. All in all, she felt pretty good today, although it is obvious that she is still sick. We started the day with ibuprofen to keep the fever down, and it worked fairly well most of the day.

On the drive home she was in a really good mood, very talkative, and we had lots of fun together, talking, watching movies, and just kidding around.

Late this evening, she was fine one minute and then her fever spiked the next, causing some concern. After taking tylenol, the fever finally started dropping. So as of right now, she does not feel real well, and hopefully she will get to bed and feel better tomorrow.

Sorry for the short journal tonight, but I really need to try to go and make my pumpkin feel a little better.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, February 18, 2004 11:09 PM CST

Today, at least the first half, was a miserable day for Cheyenne. We were up early this morning to take off for our regularly scheduled Doctor's appointment, and Cheyenne was sick, sick, sick. Still running a low grade fever, nausea, headache, sore throat, stuffed up nose, horrible cough, and every joint in her body hurt. We gave her some over the counter medication (Tylenol Day Cold) and it did not seem to do much at all.

All the way to San Antonio poor Cheyenne was miserable.

At the doctor's appointment, her counts came back excellent, no tumor related problems or symtpoms found, just the "bug". She had lost 1 1/2 lbs since the last appointment, but like I explained to the Doctor, she probably lost that much just throwing up from this bug and not eating in almost 2 days.

While at the Doctor's office at 3pm, we gave her some plain old Ibuprofen, forget all the fancy over the counter stuff. When we left the Doctor's office about 45 minutes later, Cheyenne was singing in the truck. Now she is still sick, but her singing was music to my ears.

The rest of the evening Cheyenne was 1000% better than this morning. Her biggest complaint this evening has been sore stomach muscles from coughing for the past 24 hours.

Whatever bug this is, I hope and pray it has run its course. Thinking back, this is the first time since diagnosis that Cheyenne has caught anything, so I guess we have been pretty lucky. The timing on this was just really, really bad. The chemo had just started taking its toll from this round, the Protocel had just kicked into high gear from a slight schedule and dosage change, her allergies had again just flared up, and then this virus. This was just a little too much for her little body to handle all at once.

The Doctor is convinced that this is a virus and that it should run its course within the next day or so. Just to be on the safe side, he did prescribe antibotics in the event she does not feel better after tomorrow. But there is a problem. The Dr prescribed an penicillin derived antibotic. I didn't notice this until we were back at the apartment. Cheyenne is allergic to penicillin. So, tomorrow before leaving San Antonio, I will have to contact the Dr and get the prescription changed.

It is now after 1130pm, and Cheyenne is still up, so I had better go and get her to bed to get some rest.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Cheyenne is being featured on a new website by the Tumbleweed Foundation. This foundation is in memory of and to honor one of our very good caringbridge friends, Little Angel Julia Levy. This site is a very worthy site that is just now beginning to take shape. If you can, PLEASE pay it a visit at www.tumbleweedfoundation.org . As soon as I can, I will be adding a permanent link on Cheyenne's site. Also, if you get a chance, Angel Julia's mom, Judy, has been having some difficulties, and could probably use some support and encouragement. She still reads and updates Angel Julia's site daily (listed under our little Angel links). Thank you.

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Tuesday, February 17, 2004 8:43 PM CST

Today was another one of those days for Cheyenne. Another day she felt too bad to go to school. She is still pretty tired, but it is the low grade fever, nausea and yukky feeling all over that is is getting her down. She spent the day laying around the house with Grandma B., not really doing anything but watching TV.

If she was feeling better this evening she wanted to go and watch her Mystic Slates team mates practice. But she didn't even feel well enough to do that. I really hate it when my little girl doesn't feel good.

Tomorrow we travel to San Antonio for her regularly scheduled Doctor's appointment. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a good day: feeling good, having fun good, and not sick good.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, February 16, 2004 6:57 PM CST

Today was not a very fun day for Cheyenne. Last night, after going to bed she began to get nauseaous and had a stomach ache all night with a low grade fever. This morning, she really wanted to go to school, got up and dressed, but she was really feeling too bad to go. After getting nauseaous again this morning, she decided that we were right, she had better stay home again today.

All day she had minor flu like symptoms, body aches and pains, slight nausea, low grade fever, headache, etc. Most of the day was spent sleeping in my recliner. It really hurts to see my pumpkin feeling bad.

This is really a strange journey that we parents of children with cancer and tumors take. Many times, the treatment causes more discomfort than the current state of the disease. We have to just keep reminding ourselves of the end result of the disease, and without the treatment, there is no possiblity of a cure.

Fortunately, today being a federal holiday, both Donna and I were off to care for Cheyenne.

To help Cheyenne feel a little better today, mom made some of her home made chicken noodle soup. And as Cheyenne would say, it was Delicish!!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I noticed tonight that Emily is finally getting to go home! YEA!!! Let's keep those prayers going and continue the healing for all these wonderful children.

One last thing, I was told that the front page article on Cheyenne yesterday is available online at the following address: http://www.gosanangelo.com/sast/news_columnists/article/0,1897,SAST_4955_2656768,00.html

You will have to copy and paste to make it work since it is not in html.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Cheyenne is being featured on a new website by the Tumbleweed Foundation. This foundation is in memory of and to honor one of our very good caringbridge friends, Little Angel Julia Levy. This site is a very worthy site that is just now beginning to take shape. If you can, PLEASE pay it a visit at www.tumbleweedfoundation.org . As soon as I can, I will be adding a permanent link on Cheyenne's site. Also, if you get a chance, Angel Julia's mom, Judy, has been having some difficulties, and could probably use some support and encouragement. She still reads and updates Angel Julia's site daily (listed under our little Angel links). Thank you.

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Sunday, February 15, 2004 9:47 PM CST

Today turned into a very special day for my little pumpkin, Cheyenne. First of all, she wasn't sick all day long, and maybe not the energizer bunny that she normally is, but still on the go and having fun.

This morning we attended services at Glen Meadows Baptist Church with Cheyenne's brother, Michael and his family. There Cheyenne was able to say hello to a few of the members that continually pray for her and support her in this journey.

Following church, we went to Christopher's house for a birthday party for Maddie (our little granddaughter and Christopher's baby). She turns 2 in a couple of days. It was lots of fun and playing there for Cheyenne.

Immediately after leaving the party, we dropped Cheyenne off at Coach Slate's house (THE Coach Slate!!!!) for dinner followed by a trip to Glen Meadows to see the ROCFISH with Coach, some of her teammates and friends. Rocfish is a christian musical group of teenagers from Australia that are currently touring the US. I am assuming that Cheyenne had a really great time, as when I picked her up tonight, she was singing our loud, looked over at me and said, "I had a REALLY GREAT TIME!!!"

Right now I am trying to get her to bed (it is 1015pm, way past her bedtime) for school tomorrow.

Also, Cheyenne was on the FRONT PAGE of the San Angelo Standard Times Newspaper today. Rick Smith, a local journalist, called yesterday and said that many people have been calling and writing him asking how Cheyenne was doing. Rick had run an article about Cheyenne in the paper when she was diagnosed and undergoing radiation. He asked for permission to print a few excerpts from this daily journal. It was a very well written article all about Cheyenne's struggle, her conventional and alternative treatments, and how WONDERFUL she is doing. We bought 5 newspapers today. Ha..

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. None of the parents of cancer and tumor children could bear this burden alone. It is wonderful people like yourselves that keep us moving. Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, February 14, 2004 10:13 PM CST

Today was almost a clone of the last few days. A few minutes after awakening, she became nauseous, but then the remainder of the day was FANTASTIC.

Oh, how our life has changed in the past 8 months! We knew so very little about pediatric brain tumors and cancer. Now we are veterans. The only reason I bring this up, is that one of the many symptoms of tumor pressure is nausea immediately after awakening in the morning. Back in the OLD days, that is in July, August, or September of 2003, before we were veterans of this horrible illness, Cheyenne's early morning sickness would have scared us to death. But now, believe it or not, we have learned that there are "different" kinds of nausea. There is nausea from tumor pressure, nausea from chemo, nausea from radiation, nausea from Protocel, and nausea from eating something you really shouldn't have. And the strange thing is, since we have experienced them all on this journey, we can actually tell the difference. I am sure that as many of our caringbridge parents out there read this, they are shaking their heads, yep, I can tell.

Today's little nausea spell has been written off to Protocel doing its job. One of the few times that nausea is a good thing!!!!!!

This afternoon Cheyenne and the Mystic Slates had two basketball games back to back. I am so proud of these girls. In both game 1 and game 2, the Mystic Slates scored early and never lost the lead, winning both games handily. CONGRATULATIONS GIRLS!!!! At one point in the second game, I thought that they seemed to be tiring, but their second wind came and it was off to the races. It was a fun game to watch. ALL the girls, including Cheyenne did a FANTANTASTIC job.

After the ballgame, several of the girls, their parents, and the Coach met for ice cream at Dairy Queen. There were some happy girls there. There are only two more games to go this season, which is not near enough for the girls. I know Cheyenne never wants the season to end. In case I haven't mentioned it before, (Ha) Cheyenne just LOVES basketball.

Tomorrow appears to be a really busy day for our little girl. First thing in the morning, Cheyenne wants to attend church services at Glen Meadows Baptist Church. I am sure she will be giving out those "Cheyenne Hugs" to all the wonderful people there that care, support, and pray for her so very much. Not a single day goes by without her either getting an email, card or letter, or a guestbook entry from a member of Glen Meadows. They really know how to make a little girl smile.

Immediately following, we are off to Cheyenne's brother, Christopher's house. They are having a joint Maddie/Christopher birthday party. That will be lots of fun for Miss Cheyenne.

We also plan to leave from there and get back to Glen Meadows, for the Rockfish Festival. I am not sure, but I believe it is a Christian band from Australia.

So tomorrow is shaping up to be a pretty awesome day for Cheyenne.

Tonight, if you have a chance, please drop over to a few of Cheyenne's caringbridge friend's sites, and say hello. I know that Emily, Jessie and Ross Joiner are still in the hospital and in need of a few additional prayers. When you get to know these children and their parents as I have, you will find yourself richly blessed. These children are the most faithful, caring, couragous, wonderful children I have ever met.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are AWESOME, and they are working. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Cheyenne is being featured on a new website by the Tumbleweed Foundation. This foundation is in memory of and to honor one of our very good caringbridge friends, Little Angel Julia Levy. This site is a very worthy site that is just now beginning to take shape. If you can, PLEASE pay it a visit at www.tumbleweedfoundation.org . As soon as I can, I will be adding a permanent link on Cheyenne's site. Also, if you get a chance, Angel Julia's mom, Judy, has been having some difficulties, and could probably use some support and encouragement. She still reads and updates Angel Julia's site daily (listed under our little Angel links). Thank you.

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Friday, February 13, 2004 11:37 PM CST

This morning Cheyenne was still a little under the weather and stayed home from school. However, by the time I got home from work, Cheyenne was back to her old self, full of spunk and energy and feeling great.

Tonight, she made the hard decision on whether to go to basketball practice or the Valentines day dance. After a few phone calls from friends, the dance won out. Mom, Grandma B. and Aunt Judy dropped her off and I went later to pick her up.

When I arrived, you could pick her out of the crowd. She was the one doing the most jumping, laughing the loudest and having the most fun. She was one active little girl at this dance. After about 30 minutes she finally saw me, and it was a mad dash and jumped into my arms, almost knocking me down. I think she had fun!!!!!!

Tonight at home there is a fine dusting of snow on everything, and you would think it was 2 feet outside. She is so thrilled that it snowed. Now it would be nice if there were 3 or 4 inches on the ground tomorrow so we could have a few snowball fights, but I don't think it will happen.

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I noticed tonight that Ross Joiner is really in need of prayers, as he is in ICU tonight. Also remember Jessie and Emily, who are also still in the hospital. These are such couragous children. May God be with them and give them strength to overcome all that is currently threatening them.

Again, Thank you and God Bless you all. Our God is a very merciful and caring God.

Cheyenne's dad
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Cheyenne is being featured on a new website by the Tumbleweed Foundation. This foundation is in memory of and to honor one of our very good caringbridge friends, Little Angel Julia Levy. This site is a very worthy site that is just now beginning to take shape. If you can, PLEASE pay it a visit at www.tumbleweedfoundation.org . As soon as I can, I will be adding a permanent link on Cheyenne's site. Also, if you get a chance, Angel Julia's mom, Judy, has been having some difficulties, and could probably use some support and encouragement. She still reads and updates Angel Julia's site daily (listed under our little Angel links). Thank you.

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Thursday, February 12, 2004 10:20 PM CST

Thanks to Microsoft Technical Support, a technician that barely speaks english, and a 2 hour phone call, we just came back on line with this computer.

This morning Cheyenne really, really wanted to make it to school I could tell that she didn't feel well, but she insisted. So after warming up the truck, getting everyone dressed, we made it out the door and almost into the truck before Cheyenne decided that she did not feel well enough to go to school. So, it turned into a stay a home day with Grandma B. and Aunt Judy.

As the day wore on, Cheyenne felt better and better, and by the time I came home after work, she seemed to be feeling fine. It is the mornings that get her the most.

At this point, Cheyenne plans on attending school tomorrow morning, but we will just have to wait and see what the morning brings.

This weekend is already shaping up to be a busy fun filled weekend, as long as Cheyenne is feeling well. She already has double plans for tomorrow night. Both basketball practice and a Valentines dance at school. That is going to be a hard decision. Saturday she has 2 basketball games and karate. Sunday is normal church day, plus Cheyenne wants to attend a special evening event at Glen Meadows Baptist Church. I believe there are a few more things thrown in there that I have temporarily forgotten. I am sure she will remind me.

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful prayers, words of support an encouragement for Cheyenne and all the other children. None of us could make it without you.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

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Cheyenne is being featured on a new website by the Tumbleweed Foundation. This foundation is in memory of and to honor one of our very good caringbridge friends, Little Angel Julia Levy. This site is a very worthy site that is just now beginning to take shape. If you can, PLEASE pay it a visit at www.tumbleweedfoundation.org . As soon as I can, I will be adding a permanent link on Cheyenne's site. Also, if you get a chance, Angel Julia's mom, Judy, has been having some difficulties, and could probably use some support and encouragement. She still reads and updates Angel Julia's site daily (listed under our little Angel links). Thank you.

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Wednesday, February 11, 2004 10:29 PM CST

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Cheyenne is being featured on a new website by the Tumbleweed Foundation. This foundation is in memory of and to honor one of our very good caringbridge friends, Little Angel Julia Levy. This site is a very worthy site that is just now beginning to take shape. If you can, PLEASE pay it a visit at www.tumbleweedfoundation.org . As soon as I can, I will be adding a permanent link on Cheyenne's site. Also, if you get a chance, Angel Julia's mom, Judy, has been having some difficulties, and could probably use some support and encouragement. She still reads and updates Angel Julia's site daily (listed under our little Angel links). Thank you.

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This morning found Cheyenne a little under the weather, sick to her stomach shortly after awakening. The good news is, however, there was no doubt it was 100 percent lysing from Protocel. Immediately after this short lived sick period, Cheyenne was ready to go to school, and off we went.

Between 10 and 11, unfortunately, Cheyenne experienced another round of lysing, and called me at work to come to school and get her. I imagine that it is pretty embarrassing for a 12 year old girl to get sick to her stomach at school. After getting home, there wasn't much for Chey to do, so I convinced her to take a long needed nap. After a few hours of sleep, Cheyenne was ready to take on the world and felt fine.

I imagine that we may see this again over the next few days, as I have mentioned, the chemo, heavy Protocel lysing, and sinus problems all hit at the same time leaving Cheyenne more tired than normal.

Tomorrow is a planned school/work day, although the weather is predicted to be possible snow and ice. For you non-West Texans, we don't really enjoy driving on snow and ice, so we will just have to see.

Most of the afternoon and evening my son Michael and I have been working on my computer, and wound up installing a new hard drive. Thus far, I know that I have lost all my addresses in my email, but most of my caringbridge favorites are still here. Soooo, there will probably be some that I routinely email that may not be hearing from me until I receive a message with their address. Also, we are having some problems locating certain software, such as the ones we use to modify photos to load on Cheyenne's site. So, there might be a little delay in redesigning this site for a few days.

I have not yet had the opportunity to visit any of our friends sites tonight due to computer problems, so please, when you say your prayers tonight, remember all these little ones and their families.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, February 10, 2004 9:26 PM CST

Hey Everybody,
This is Cheyenne typing.

Today I Stayed home and slept in. Me and grandma B.,and Aunt Judy really did nothing. I didn't wake up till 11:30.
When I got up all I really did was watch tv. Today was a Hercules special"I think". They were One hour long but There was about Twenty showing right after another.

Later that night I went to basketball practice. It was fun. We worked on lobbing the ball a cross the court. Man I love Basketball. I love playing. I love Practiceing. I also love to just go, because I have the best coach ever. So cool of a coach. Coach Slate thats her name. the best coach in the universe. I also have the best team anbody could ever have. My team mates are"Christene, Ariel, Jessica, Cassie. Macie, Leah, and Becca. Yep that the best team ever because we were taught by the best coach ever.

After Basketball Practice we went to eat at KFC and It was delic. But of course after that I was sick to my stomach. But when we got home guess who was there. My daddy. Just seeing him my stomach ache went away and I hopped on my daddy's lap.

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Well, I guess that about wraps it up for my little pumpkin's day, all in her words. Of course, you might notice the time, it is now almost 10pm, and she is still on my lap as I type. God Bless you all and thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.

Cheyenne and Cheyenne's dad

Monday, February 9, 2004 10:54 PM CST

Today was another one of those extremely busy days, but turned into a fabulous evening.

Cheyenne was still dragging quite a bit today. According to her, more tired than ever before. She even laughed about falling asleep coming home on the bus from school. But she is going through a lysing period right now, in conjunction with just ending this round of chemo, so, this too will pass. I know my little pumpkin will get her energy back within the next 1 to 2 weeks.

This evening was DADDY/DAUGHTER DATE NIGHT in San Angelo. Each year the city sponsors this right before Valentines. Of course I took Cheyenne and we had an absolute fabulous time. And, from all the fun that she had, you would never believe for a minute that she was tired.

We left the house around 5:30 and stopped at Cheddar's for some appetiziers and desert. Following Cheddar's, we made it to the dance just as they were opening the doors. It was then 2 full hours of listening to music, dancing, laughing, giggling, and having a blast. The theme of this year's Date Night was the 80's. After tonight, I realize that I must have slept through the 80's, since I did not recognize but a handful of songs.

I can't remember when Cheyenne laughed so much in one night. This was FANTASTIC.

I found out today that Cheyenne is one of the children being featured on the Tumbleweed Foundation website. This site is in memory and to honor a very good caringbridge friend, Little Angel Julia Levy. This site is a very worthy site that is just now beginning to take shape. If you can, PLEASE pay it a visit at www.tumbleweedfoundation.org . As soon as I can, I will be adding a permanent link on Cheyenne's site. Also, if you get a chance, Angel Julia's mom has been having some difficulties, and could probably use some support and encouragement. She still reads and updates Angel Julia's site daily (listed under our little Angel links). Thank you.

I have not had an opportunity to visit any of our caringbridge friends tonight, as we were running all night. These children and their parents mean so much to me. We are now family, tied together forever. When you say your prayers tonight, please remember them all.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, February 8, 2004 9:40 PM CST

Earlier this afternoon I received an email telling me that dear Caitlin had become one of the newest angels in heaven. She no longer has this beast of a tumor, she no longer has cancer, she no longer is in pain. Caitlin undoubtedly is looking down on her family from heaven where they all will be reunited someday. Please say a prayer for Caitlin's wonderful family, as they go through what no parent should ever have to face.

*********NO MORE CHEMO FOR ONE WHOLE MONTH*********

Tonight Cheyenne finished round #6 of her 10 rounds of chemo. Understanding that the full effect of this round really won't hit her for a few days, Cheyenne still weathered it pretty well. The last two days saw her really zapped of energy, and an occasional stomach ache, but it was still a good week. We are praying that nothing worse is to come.

This morning was Sunday School and Church. Cheyenne really likes her Sunday School and Church, and has lots of good friends there. She has been talking about wanting to get back to Glen Meadows Baptist Church to see her friends there, so we are checking our schedules to see if it will be next Sunday, or the one after that.

This afternoon Cheyenne's brother Christopher and his two little girls came over and it was a busy afternoon. Lots of playing, laughing, and running around. It was a really nice afternoon and evening, which we topped off with a Lasagana dinner.

After the kids left, Cheyenne decided that she had better finish her homework. My Gosh, do they assign homework at that school!! We worked on it for what seemed forever, and was able to finish most of it, hopefully, we can get up early tomorrow and get the rest out of the way.

Cheyenne still does not have a lot of energy, and to top it off, she was hit in the eye during the ball game the other day. Today it is swollen, and really red. If she looks out of it just right, it burns and hurts. That is not really a good environment to study and do homework in.

Every night we have a very large number of children that we pray for, but there are always a few that are in a little more desperate need. Tonight, please say a little extra prayer for Emily, who is still in the hospital, Samantha, sister of little Angel Zach, who now has biopsy scheduled for Feb 13th, Trevor Joiner as he prepares for another stem cell transplant, Jessie who has additional tests, beautiful Celeste who will be having an MRI soon, and our best bud Jake as he takes on this tumor head on for the second time. Also, please remember Caitlin's family during this extremely difficult time.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, February 7, 2004 11:51 PM CST

**********ONLY 1 MORE DAY OF CHEMO THIS ROUND*********

We are finally all home and settled in from a busy evening.

This morning Cheyenne slept in until around 9am, and she was still zapped of energy. As a matter of fact, today became what we affectionately call a "chicken noodle soup" day for Cheyenne. We really didn't expect it for a few more days, but it seems this time the chemo was taking effect a little sooner than expected. By noon, Cheyenne was still not feeling well at all, very tired and a little nauseaous, so she asked her dear old dad to make her chicken noodle soup for lunch.

This afternoon, we were surprised by quite a treat. One of our favorite girls in the whole world called. Yep, Maddie called. Maddie and Cheyenne got the chance to catch up a little with each other and then I had a real good conversation with her mom. That seemed to start the spark for Cheyenne's energy. After that it was a little go karting, loving her horse, and then off to the big basketball game. She seemed to just flip the energy switch and there was no stopping her from this point on.

I want to say this in public, Sorry Coach, I will NOT predict the outcome of the Magic Slates games again. I think I jinxed them. They are now 2 and 2.

After the game, several of the girls and Coach Slate went to the ASU Ram Belles and Rams game. Of course the Ram Belles won (they have such an awesome team) and the Rams won. Cheyenne ran into lots of people that she knew. Kasey from the Ram Belles, Pastor Harry Mathews from Glen Meadows, my cousin and his family just to mention a few. I started to count up all the hugs that Cheyenne handed out tonight at the game and stopped at around 10. I knew she was feeling great and having fun when I arrived to pick her up from the game. I saw her coming from across the Junell Center, running at about Mach III, grinning from ear to ear, and she jumped into my arms to give me a big hug.

Of course, every single night we have a very large number of children that we pray for, but there are always a few that are in a little more desperate need. Tonight, please say a little extra prayer for Emily, who is still in the hospital, Samantha, sister of little Angel Zach, who now has a biopsy scheduled for Feb 13th, and Trevor and Ross Joiner . Also, please join me in praising and thanking God for Jessie getting HOME from the hospital, and all the wonderful friends that Cheyenne and family have made since beginning this trying journey.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, February 6, 2004 10:38 PM CST

*********ONLY 2 MORE DAYS OF CHEMO THIS ROUND*********

For the very first thing tonight, I want to share some news with you of Cheyenne's very good caringbridge sister and friend, Maddie. Miss Maddie had her MRI today, and preliminary results are in:::::NO CHANGE! What that means, is that Maddie and Cheyenne are both kicking this tumor's butt!!! This, the fastest growing, most deadly, tumor out there, is losing its battle with Maddie and Cheyenne. Maddie and Cheyenne may have a way to go, but both are up for the fight and will NOT give it up. You GO GIRLS!!!!!!!!

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Today was a pretty good day for Cheyenne, but to be perfectly honest, the combination of staying up late, being in the middle of this chemo round, in the midst of a horrible allergy/sinus problem, and her presently in one of her Protocel lysing periods has taken a little of her energy. She was tired when she woke up this morning, tired all day, and ready to go to bed by 9:30 tonight. If you know her, this is not her usual energetic self, but again if you know her, you know that she will snap out of it very quickly.

Cheyenne attended school all day today and had basketball practice tonight. We are going to let her sleep in tomorrow morning, and her basketball game is scheduled for 5pm. Of course, by letting her sleep in, she will be missing her karate class. She was looking forward to it, since we have missed so many, but I really want her to recuperate a little. So, Sifu, if you are reading this, we will be there shortly, promise!!

As always, I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. In this world of incurable cancer, prayers work miracles. Both Maddie and Cheyenne are prime examples of miracles in progress. Our God is an AWSOME and MERCIFUL God. Thank you God!

Of course, every single night we have a very large number of children that we pray for, but there are always a few that are in a little more desperate need. Tonight, please say a little extra prayer for Jessie and Emily, who are still in the hospital, Samantha, sister of little Angel Zach, who now has biopsy scheduled for Feb 13th, and Trevor and Ross Joiner . Also, please join me in praising God for the MRI results over the past few days of Maddie, Fisher and David.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, February 5, 2004 9:57 PM CST

********ANOTHER DAY OF CHEMO DOWN*********

Today was Cheyenne's 2nd day of the 6th round of Temodar chemo and she is handling it like the Champ that she is!! She was a little more tired than normal, but had very little nausea associated with the chemo today. We did allow Cheyenne to stay home from school, so I imagine she had a GRAND day at home with mom.

Today Cheyenne received an AWESOME surprise in the mail from Kim Nicks and her family. A huge box filled with all kinds of neat things. A pair of pants (exact size that she wears) that are the wildest things I have ever seen. But, Cheyenne just absolutely loves them. Blue denium on top with the rest white denium with red roses!! Then to go with them a blouse that says " I am a Princess, So What?! Now that fits her to a tee! Jewelery, purse, address book, on and on, and the softest, cuddliest stuffed puppy dog I have ever seen. And just to keep Cinnamon from being jealous, a bag of doggy treats. Cheyenne is all smiles tonight. Thank you Kim, Kyle and family.

Also tonight Cheyenne's Grandmother and Aunt came in from Milwaukee, Wi. Grandma Barger and Aunt Judy didn't know what they were in for. Now Cheyenne has a captive audience for all those board games she has. A few minutes ago (and it is now almost 10:30pm) Cheyenne had Aunt Judy cornered playing Simpson Chess.

As always, I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. In this world of incurable cancer, prayers work miracles. Our God is an AWSOME and MERCIFUL God. Thank you God for all the daily miracles. All one has to do is look for them, they are there!

Of course, every single night we have a very large number of children that we pray for, but there are always a few that are in a little more desperate need. Tonight, please say a little extra prayer for Jessie and Emily, who are still in the hospital, Samantha, sister of little Angel Zach, who now has biopsy scheduled for Feb 13th, Trevor and Ross Joiner and Cheyenne's best friend and adopted caringbridge sister, Maddie, who has been feeling a little poorly lately. Also, thank you for the prayers over the past few days for Fisher and David. Both MRI's were completed with all GOOD news.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, February 4, 2004 8:59 PM CST

*********ONLY 4 MORE DAYS OF CHEMO THIS ROUND********

Today was the first day of Cheyenne's Round # 6 of chemo. That means she is officially over 1/2 way through with chemo. Hopefully, she will never have to take any other kind of chemo, ever!!

Today was a normal school day for Cheyenne, with the two of us up early and off to school. Boy, I love these trips to school. I guess because it is just the two of us, and we can just talk, laugh, cut up, and talk about anything in the world.

I understand that Cheyenne had a really good day at school with no sickness or bad feelings all day.

When I arrived home from work, Cheyenne and her mom were busy as beavers cleaning and straightening the house. Hmmmm, I wonder what could be going on around here? Could it be that Donna's mom and sister are coming in tomorrow? Na, that wouldn't do it, would it?? Ha. Glad I was at work. Actually, Donna is feeling pretty poorly. She has come down with some kind of a bug. We are hoping and praying that it is a quick thing and neither Cheyenne or I get it and it is over by the time our visitors arrive tomorrow.

Tonight since Donna was not feeling real well, I took over a few of the chores and Cheyenne took in a little TV and homework.

Cheyenne is one special daughter. As I write this, she is making me a 'Milk Shake". Now isn't that sweet? She really likes to take care of us anyway that she can.

As always, I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. In this world of incurable cancer, prayers work miracles.

Of course, every single night we have a very large number of children that we pray for, but there are always a few that are in a little more desperate need. Tonight, please say a little extra prayer for Jessie and Emily, who are still in the hospital, Fisher who was to try to get his MRI again today, Samantha, sister of little Angel Zach, who now has biopsy scheduled for Feb 13th, Trevor and Ross Joiner and Cheyenne's best friend and adopted caringbridge sister, Maddie, who has been feeling a little poorly lately.

Also, please join me in prayers for Angel McKenzie's and Angel Lyone's family during this extremely difficult time. Pray for God's peace and understanding.

Thank you and God Bless you all,

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, February 3, 2004 9:19 PM CST

The best description of Cheyenne's day came from Cheyenne as we were leaving San Antonio this afternoon. She looked over at me with a big smile and said, "Dad, I had fun today!!"

We actually slept in past 8am this morning (we were up past midnight the night before watching TV) and made it over to my old office to visit and attend a meeting with one of my former managers.

As soon as we arrived, Cheyenne immediately made it into the "Girls" offices. I kind of feel bad as they have work to do and all, but they are soooo very good to Cheyenne. They stopped their work and visited, making Cheyenne's day. A lunch was planned and after my meeting, we all met for lunch with the girls. At the cafe, Cheyenne found a claw machine (of course!!). Within a couple of minutes there were 3 stuffed animals on our table (there were already 2 in the car from 2 other claw machines that we had ran across yesterday). Thank you Haydee, Karen, Norma and Carmen for making my little girl smile all the way home!!

Tonight was basketball practice, so we arrived at home in just enough time to unload the suitcase, and leave. The Mystic Slates had a good practice tonight, and based upon how they practiced tonight, I predict a major victory Saturday.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. In this world of incurable cancer, prayers work miracles.

Of course, every single night we have a very large number of children that we pray for, but there are always a few that are in a little more desperate need. Tonight, please say a little extra prayer for Jessie and Emily, who are still in the hospital, Fisher who will try for his MRI again tomorrow, and Samantha, sister of little Angel Zach, who now has biopsy scheduled for Feb 13th.

Also, please join me in prayers for McKenzie's and Lyone's family during this extremely sad time. Pray for God's peace and understanding. Both of these wonderful children are now tumor and pain free, and they will be reunited with their family again.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, February 2, 2004 10:20 PM CST

This morning Cheyenne and I took off for San Antonio while mom went to work. Someone has to make money around here!! Thanks Mom!!

While enroute to San Antonio, we had breakfast in the car, from the World's famous, Diego's Burritos in San Angelo. Cheyenne just loves their egg, sausage and bean burritos. Of course, Cheyenne was starving right up to the minute we started the truck to leave Diego's. YOu could see the green coming over her face. From experience, this is not a good sign, and we have had the burrito, car enroute to San Antonio, barf bucket experiences before. To be on the safe side, it was time for a quick Zofran. Within 5 minutes Cheyenne was feeling fantastic and had her breakfast with no problems. The rest of the day was another one of those GREAT days, no sickeness at all.

The Memorial Service for Justice in San Antonio was very nice. Also, there were many, many of my friends there, and as a result, Cheyenne received about 1,000 hugs.

Tomorrow we were planning to go to the office for a short meeting and then hit the road back to San Angelo. However, Cheyenne and the "girls" had other plans. I guess we will be going to lunch with the "girls" tomorrow before heading back. They are sooo good to Cheyenne and Cheyenne just loves hanging out with them.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. In case you haven't had time to check, a few of the chidren need a few extra prayers. If you could, please join me in lifting these couragous children up to the Lord in prayer. Jessie is still in the hospital while the Doctors attempt to determine what is causing a few problems, Fisher and David both have MRI's scheduled for tomorrow, Mitchell starts chemo tomorrow, Sweet little Emily is still in the hospital and had a very scary seizure, and Trevor Joiner is preparing for his 2nd stem cell transplant since the first did not take.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all. Cheyenne says hi to everyone.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, February 1, 2004 8:52 PM CST

Today was one of those WONDERFUL days that we wish would never end. Cheyenne felt GREAT all day long, and had lots and lots of fun, smiles, and giggles all day. Right now as I type this, she is playing Simpson's Chess with her mom, and every few minutes she breaks out in a song, singing at the top of her lungs. Even her mom joins in every now and then.

This morning Cheyenne had the opportunity to teach her first Sunday School class. I understand she did a WONDERFUL job, and wants to do it again. Her topic this morning was "Truth". Truth of God's promises, Truth of Christ, etc..She really prepared for it, with 9 pages of notes, and it paid off. She was supposed to have a "helper", but she did not show up, so Cheyenne did it by her lonesome.

This afternoon, Cheyenne had other church activites and says that it was also lots of fun and she learned alot. The church youth group also was having a Super Bowl party afterwards, but Cheyenne wanted to come home and give Dad a Super Bowl party.

After coming home and riding her Go Kart for about 30 minutes, she came in and prepared every kind of chips, dip, etc for dear old dad. We are watching the game, but it is actually just in the background, as we are all doing something else at the same time.

Tomorrow Cheyenne and I will be off to San Antonio to attend a funeral of a friend. I told Cheyenne that she did not have to go, but she thought she should, since her and Justice had talked a few times about their sicknesses together. I guess she feels connected to her. And actually, it is not a funeral, but a memorial service.

Thank you to everyone who came over and checked on our little girl. Also thank you for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are such an AWESOME power. I noticed that this next tuesday, both David and Fisher are having MRI's and Mitch is starting this round of chemo, so please keep them in your prayers. Also Cheyenne starts her next round of chemo on Wednesday morning, and we are praying for a non-eventful round. Cheyenne also asked me to ask for prayers for 2 of her very special friends, Maddie and Jake. Cheyenne just loves both Maddie and Jake and talks about them as if they were brother and sister. Maddie is doing real good, but has had a few occassions of double vision lately, and Jake is also doing pretty good, but has a few rough days. We are praying for complete healing of these wonderful young people and for them to start having nothing but GREAT days.

Thank you again, and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, January 31, 2004 10:28 PM CST

This morning we lost another one of Cheyenne's friends. Little four year old Lyone DaSilva of Japan, became an angel this morning a little before 11am. It has become a daily occurrance around the Fiveash household to talk to his mom and dad, Kenny and Jess, as well as little Lyone over the phone and internet and we have become quite friends over the past few months. Watch over your parents and sisters, Lyone, until you meet again.

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This makes 3 of our friends that we have lost in the past 3 days. I know that it has to be taking a toll on Cheyenne, as it certainly is on me.

This morning Cheyenne missed Karate class, due to a conflicting schedule. We have so many things on our schedule, it sometimes gets very confusing around here.

Cheyenne felt very good most of the day, with the exception of a few minutes of that upset stomach feeling.

Shortly after noon, we left the house to pickup Cheyenne's Grandparents near Paint Rock to take to the basketball game in Ballinger. We pretty much made the game a family affair, as Mom, Dad, Diana, Grandpa and Grandma, as well as Christopher and his family were all there. It was the first loss for the Mystic Slates, but the girls played a pretty good game. They just couldn't seem to get it together after the 1st half. Cheyenne hopes to play this team again, to show them what the Mystic Slates are all about..

Following the game, several of the team mates and their families met at the Lowake Steak House for dinner. For those who have never been to the Lowake Steak House, it is highly recommended!

Cheyenne is currently in bed, and I have noticed that she has a pretty good cough tonight. Her allergies really kicked in a couple of days ago, so I hope that is all that it is.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please continue to think about them and pray for them daily. If you get a chance, also leave a little note in their guestbook just to let them know that you care. It means so much to these children and their families just to know that they are not alone in this struggle.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, January 30, 2004 10:33 PM CST

All in all today was a good healthy day for Cheyenne.

This morning both of us overslept for about 30 minutes and almost missed school. Cheyenne's last dose of Protocel is at midnight each night, and we get up very early for work and school. So, by the time that Friday rolls around, we are both verrry tired. I would try to set the alarm for midnight and just go to bed, but I am afraid I might not hear it, so it is just easier to stay up.

After school today, Cheyenne had her friday night basketball practice, so she had her daily exercise running up and down the court. She can still outrun me anyday.

After practice Cheyenne had a nausea attack, nothing serious, but enough to make her uncomfortable. You could tell by just looking at her that she did not feel well. Also, I guess the cold front that blew through here yesterday brought something in that she is allergic to. Her nose was completely stopped up today.

As you know, yesterday Cheyenne's friend McKenzie became one of Heaven's newest angels. We intentionally chose to not tell Cheyenne until today, so she wouldn't have to go to school in an emotional state of mind. When her mom told her this afternoon, Cheyenne didn't really say much. After some time, her mom asked her how she felt. Cheyenne said that she wasn't sad, because McKenzie was now with Jesus and was now healed. If only more adults had the faith in God that our children have!!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Tonight there are a few of the children that need a little extra prayers. Jessie, still in the hospital: The Joiner brothers as they attempt to grow new cells, and little Trevor having a setback: Emily, still in the hospital and doing great after a very successful surgery, but still has a long way to go: McKenzie's family.

Yesterday was a pretty rough day around here, with the loss of 2 friends in one day. If not for our faith in God, and all the prayers and words of encouragement from all of you, this would be so much more difficult. Thank you so very much. Our God is an AWESOME God!! Prayers do help.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, January 29, 2004 8:21 PM CST

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This evening Cheyenne's very good caringbridge friend McKenzie, became one of the newest angels in Heaven. She is now free of pain and free of this horrible beast of a tumor. Her family and friends miss her terribly, and could use your prayers during this time that no parent should ever have to go through.

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This morning Cheyenne awoke with a tummy ache, and actually asked me for a Zofran before school. She normally never asks for medication of any kind, we have to almost force it on her. A few minutes after taking it, Cheyenne felt fine, and it was off to school. It seems that we have had quite a few Zofran mornings lately, but upon review of her daily journal, they have actually decreased in number and severity. (We keep a daily log of her medication, dosages, sickness, etc).

After a good day at school, Cheyenne came home to find her big sis Diana home for the weekend from school. I understand that the two girls had a great time talking girl stuff and doing homework. As I write this, Diana is helping Cheyenne learn the states and capitals for a test tomorrow.

We finally received the written radiology report from the Neuro-Radiologist from Cheyenne's last MRI. The written report was actually even better than we were told. When we had called Dr. Estrada last week, he stated that the enhancement was less conspicious and smaller than 3 months earlier. In reading the report, it was noted that there was now no appreciable enhancement identified even though there was mild patchy enhancement present in the scan 3 months ago. Also, radiation therapy had caused moderate inflammation and thickening in the sinus area, which is now decreasing.

This morning a good friend and co-worker passed away from cancer. She was diagnosed a few weeks before Cheyenne, and we had last seen her shortly before Christmas while in San Antonio on a Doctor's appointment. Cheyenne had the opportunity to visit with her for quite a while that day and we have spoken of her several times since diagnosis. I know Cheyenne felt connected to her due to their similar illnesses. It is hard when you lose someone you know, but it is even harder when you are traveling this journey that we are on.

We are so indebted to all of the wonderful people that visit Cheyenne's and the other children's sites, offer prayers for their healing and well being, give us inspirational words of encouragment in our guestbooks, and support us so very much. This journey would be so much more difficult to withstand if not for you.

Thank you and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, January 28, 2004 7:13 PM CST

Cheyenne had another one of really good days today. We were up early and off to school on time (I ususally get her to school about 30 seconds before the bell). On the thirty minute drive to school, we laughed and joked around quite abit, but that is why I drive her, I just enjoy spending the time with her.

When I came home from work today, like ususal, she ran as fast as she could up to me and jumped on me, giving me the biggest hug in the world. Boy, I love this kid!!

Tonight, I am home alone, as Donna gave Cheyenne a ride to church for youth activities. Also, Cheyenne is teaching the Sunday School class this Sunday, and she had to pick up a few notes for the class. I am thinking about sitting in through her class Sunday, if she will let me.

I just received some really sad news about a very good friend and former co-worker who has pancreatic cancer. Justice apparently is not doing very well at all tonight, so if you get a chance, please remember her in your prayers.

Also, just a few minutes ago I learned that the news on Emily's surgery just keeps getting better. Praise and thank God for this wonderful news and please continue to remember this sweet little girl in your prayers for continued healing.

Thank you so very much for all the prayers, kind words of encouragement, guestbook entries, and emails. We could not do this without you. I know that none of you realize how much support that you have offered us during this struggle. Literally, we would be lost without you.

God Bless
Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, January 27, 2004 8:48 PM CST

Today was a pretty normal day for Cheyenne, which is a very good thing for a change. I am sure she would like to turn back the clock and just have things the way they used to be, normal.

She went to school all day with no sickness, studied, did her work, and had fun. Isn't that wonderful?

This evening after school, it was homework, riding the go kart, and hanging out with mom and dad. This was one of the first days in a long time that we didn't have something scheduled. I know I had fun just being normal and being with my family.

I had a thought today at work, and won't bore you with all the details, but I have added something to my prayer list that I will share with you. I now pray that more and more people discover what we have discovered. The things that are truly important in life. It is not about being wealthy, about being important and "in charge", or even about only work. Your faith in God, your family, your friends, your generosity, your kindness, your caring for other's, those are the things that are truly important. If you have those, the other things will fall into place.

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful prayers and encouragement for Cheyenne and all the other children. A few of our friends are in need of special prayers tonight. Cheyenne's very good friend McKenzie, Emily who flew through successful surgery today and is in recovery, Jessie who is still in PICU after successful surgery, Zach who is still in the hospital with high temps and probably a nasty cold, the Joiner brothers as they are getting better each day and trying to grow new cells, and our dear sweet friend Celeste, who is starting a new round of chemo and is getting better each day. Also, I believe I missed Gooch's birthday yesterday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOOCH!!!!

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, January 26, 2004 9:53 PM CST

This morning was another one of those Zofran mornings for Cheyenne. But, as usual, 2 or 3 minutes after getting sick, she was ready to head to school for an entire day. It is sad that cancer families become so accustomed to being sick to the stomach. I guess all those treatments of radiation and rounds and rounds of chemotherapy just do that to you. It is just part of our life now. Every car we own has a barf bucket in it for those "emergencies" . We are so very fortunate that Cheyenne now only gets sick on rare occassions rather than everyday, and it passes very, very quickly. Of course some of it is lysing from Protocel, which is a good thing. We have seen so much lysing around here we can spot it from 100 yards.

We received another bit of GREAT news today. In speaking to Cheyenne's Oncologist to see if he had received the written radiologist's report, he said that he had. When questioned about the report, we were told that, Yes the scans were classified as "No Change", however, it was noted that the enhancement was actually less conspicious and smaller. WOW, that is FANTASTIC news.

Each day Donna takes off work early to pick up Cheyenne from the school bus, and I normally call around 4:15pm from work just to see how her day was. Today when I called, Donna answered the phone. I asked if the little stinker was there and Donna said, "No, she made a big mess on the couch and I put her outside!"

Now you can imagine the thoughts that went through my head. It is 40 degrees outside, with a wind chill of about 20 degrees. Donna put Cheyenne OUTSIDE! Well, as it turns out Cheyenne was safe and warm INSIDE, and her little puppy, Cinnamon, was outside. And, Donna only kept Cinnamon outside for a couple of minutes.

This evening Cheyenne wanted to attend Karate Class, so we spent the evening watching Cheyenne and her Karate friends go through their forms, punches and kicks. Cheyenne still has it!! She realllly enjoyed karate tonight. Several of her friends were promoted tonight. Cheyenne has missed so much class she is 2 promotions down, but she says she will make a comeback.

Right now it is 1020pm, Cheyenne is still awake, finishing her homework. Her schedule is so busy she hardly has time to think. She has some activity almost every day of the week.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. Cheyenne asks that if you would, please say an extra prayer tonight for her very good friends McKenzie, Jessie, Lyone, and Trevor and Ross Joiner. Also we will be offering prayers up for Emily today as she undergoes another round of surgery.

Good night and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, January 25, 2004 8:57 PM CST

Today was a wonderful family day at the Fiveash household. Cheyenne felt good and even though not much was done, it was still a very good day.

This morning was Church and Sunday School where Cheyenne gets to be with all her church friends. They are very good friends. Hopefully, one Sunday soon, we will return to Glen Meadows Baptist Church to see her friends and supporters there.

This afternoon, Cheyenne's Grandpa and Grandma from Paint Rock came over, as did her brother Christopher. It was a nice visit, although a little short, as Grandpa gets a little antsy and has to get back on the road to get home.

Cheyenne spent most of the afternoon and evening printing pictures for a photo album she is creating from the Make A Wish trip. She has been working on the album for a couple of days already whenever she has a little free time. It is shaping up really well.

I on the otherhand, spent several hours trying to get this computer to work the way it is supposed to. It crashed again today and I almost panicked. HOW can I check on our friends or enter her journal with a crashed computer???? I never did find and fix the problem, but a temporary fix got us back on the internet this evening. I just LOVE computers!!!!

Thank you everyone for all the prayers and guestbook entries. They help so very much. The power of prayer is so AWESOME. It also helps keep us a little unstressed and more faithful. We know that we are in God's hands, and that He is a merciful God, but we still need to be reminded to remain faithful and He is watching over us.

Please remember our very dear friend McKenzie and her family in your prayers tonight. Also Lyone, Ross and Trevor, Zach, Celeste, Emily, and all our other caringbridge friends. Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, January 24, 2004 11:13 PM CST

Today was one of those BUSY days. They seem to just keep coming, one after the other. Someday we are going to just sit around the house and talk, not go anywhere, not answer the phone, just sit and talk.

After a verrry late night last night (or this morning) we were all up pretty early this morning. After her morning cartoons on the Disney Channel, Cheyenne broke out the Go Kart and took it for a spin. She sure looks big on that thing. It is just like having a car for her. Following all the fun she could have on the Go Kart, she decided to help old dad with some carpentry work. I am building shelves in a storage building during my free time (Yea, free time, Ha!) It turns out Miss Cheyenne is a very good carpenter. We were able to get another 8 feet of shelves built this morning.

Right after noon, we needed to go into town for a few things for Cheyenne's bathroom that we are remodeling. Fortunately, we brought her entire days medicine as well as her basketball uniform. The short trip to town turned into an all day affair, not arriving back home until 10pm tonight.

Cheyenne had her 2nd basketball game tonight. The Mystic Slates did a wonderful job on the court and again came out winners. Their team is getting better each week. Today was also photo day for the team, so hopefully by next week we should have a few professional photos to post of Cheyenne and the team.

In case I didn't mention it, today was one of those GREAT days for Cheyenne. As happens fairly frequently, she had a few tummy aches, but nothing like it has has been in the past. The great part is that it passes very fast and then she is fine. She was pretty zapped of energy tonight, and was ready for bed shortly after 11pm. I guess all that running up and down the court wore her out. She did get a big surprise at the game, Sifu Ector Troncoso of the Martial Arts Academy, Cheyenne's Karate instructor, made it to the game with his family to watch and cheer for Cheyenne.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the children. A few of the children do need extra prayers tonight: our very good friend Mckenzie and her family: Zachary in the hospital today with a high fever: Lyone in Japan not doing real well these last few days: Cheyenne's sweet friend Celeste who has a clinic appointment Monday: Trevor and especially Ross Joiner as they are trying to grow new cells after their transplant: Emily who is scheduled for additional surgery next week: Kolin, Kody's little brother now home from his surgery and probably feeling pretty poorly: and one of our newest friends, Ross who also has this same beast of a tumor that affects Cheyenne and is due for an MRI monday.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad
www.caringbridge.org/tx/cheyenne5

Friday, January 23, 2004 10:34 PM CST

Today was back to the old grind for Cheyenne, mom and dad. School,Work and Work!!

This morning turned out to be a Zofran morning, with Cheyenne having an upset stomach when she woke up. Fortunately it was not too bad, as nothing came up, so it was a victory, and off to school she went.

This evening Cheyenne had her beloved Basketball practice. Her second game is tomorrow. They won the first last week easily, and the team seems much better this week, so we are keeping our fingers crossed.

Following Basketball practice tonight, Coach Slate took the girls to pizza, which was VERY MUCH fun for Cheyenne, as they had a Claw machine. I wonder how much money I have spent since diagnosis on claw machines??

Donna and I turned the pizza dinner into an event. Today is our 2?th wedding anniversary. Since we both worked today and had basketball practice tonight, we had not seen each other all day except for about 10 minutes total. So to make up for it, we held hands and walked into the pizza resturant for our anniversary dinner together. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DONNA, I LOVE YOU!!

I just wanted to mention to everyone again, how humbled and thankful we are of all the prayers and guestbook entries over the past few days as we were facing the dreaded MRI wait. Please join me in praising and thanking our Lord for the wonderful report. Also, you may have noticed and I may have already mentioned it, but Chris also had an MRI recently and has had MAJOR SHRINKAGE over the past 12 weeks. Also Cameron had a GREAT MRI with no change. Way to go Cameron and Chris!!! Thank you God!!

When you say your prayers tonight, if you would please remember our caringbridge friends and their families. Especially McKenzie and her wonderful family: Benji and his family at the passing of Benjie's great grandmother: Kolin, Kody's brother who had surgery today: Maxie and his entire family as they are all sick and feeling really bad: Ross Joiner as he is fighting an infection and needing cells to begin growning following his transplant: Emily, who is in the hospital following her last surgery, and is anticipating her MRI followed by additional surgery.

Thank you all and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 8:58 PM CST

I apoligize that it took so long for an update, but today was a very long day.

First right to the GREAT News. AT this point our Doctor has not yet seen the MRI results, but has talked to the Neuro Radiologist on call for the day, who reviewed the MRI. This doctor stated, "There was No CHANGE" between this MRI and the one 3 months ago. Considering how fantastic the one was 3 months ago, we are OVERJOYED at the report!! Of course we had thousands of questions for our Doctor, but he couldn't answer any of them due to not personally reviewing the MRI himself.

The MRI 3 months ago showed so much tumor regression that no tumor mass could be seen, only a small area of enhancement that was possibly tumor activity. Hopefully tomorrow, I will be able to personally review and photograph the scans and compare the enhanced area. The written radiologists report should be prepared within the next day or so and it will be mailed to us by sometime next week (if we are lucky).
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Today started as an early day, with Cheyenne and the family at Children's Methodist Hospital before 8am for an 8:30am appointment. We finally made it into radiology at around 10am. The radiology tech giving Cheyenne the IV, blew the first attempt, sticking through the vein. So it was, Change arms and try again. A different tech came in, and used a HUGE gauge needle to get into the vein. I could tell it hurt, and I felt SO bad for my little girl. The MRI was finally finished sometime around 11am. Now, since we knew that today was blood count day, and Cheyenne had already been stuck twice, and very painfully both times, she asked for the IV to stay in place. Poor girl, for the next 3 hours she could not bend either arm. One due to pain from the blown vein, and the other because of the IV.

After getting a bite to eat at the hospital, Cheyenne wanted to quickly return to the apartment to wait for the 2pm Doctor appointment. You should have seen this little girl. While at the apartment, she realized that Cameron was having his MRI today also, so there she was , stiff armed and all, trying to type in his guestbook to say she was praying for him. It was more painful watching her type than watching her try to eat.

We arrived at her 2pm appointment a little early. Her blood counts were taken (all GREAT), a routine checkup preformed (no symptoms or problems), and the next chemo schedule and appointment planned. At that point, we expected to hear the verbal results from the MRI. BUT, no phone call from the Neuro Radiologist. Finally a little after 5pm, he called with the 5 second report.

After the fantastic report, we decided to celebrate, so Cheyenne and family went to her favorite place in San Antonio, Dave and Busters. She really had a blast playing all the games. While there she found a HUGE, Super Big, CLAW machine. Now, if you know Cheyenne, you would know that she LOOOOVES playing the claw machines. Couldn't resist, and for her trouble, walked away with a huge stuffed puppy dog.

We finally arrived back at the apartment around 9pm. Very Tired.

We have not yet had time to check on our caringbridge friends, but we did read Cheyenne's guestbook entries tonight. All of those prayers!!!! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! God Bless you all. Please join me in Praising the Lord for the wonderful report. We are in His hands and He has been very good to us. Thank you God!

Again, Thank You and God Bless All of You!!

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, January 19, 2004 9:28 PM CST

Today was another Great day for Cheyenne, although she had school all day. But then, she just loves school. As a matter of fact, she was telling us who her favorite teachers were today. She has FOUR!!! Four favorite teachers!! When we asked her about it, she said, she just loves school. Never was my problem!!

Tonight we met Cheyenne's brother Christopher and his family at Pizza hut for dinner. Cheyenne had a great time with the girls, playing and laughing.

Tomorrow we are on the road to San Antonio for the Doctor appointments and MRI on Wednesday morning. Please keep us in your prayers. Even though we know that Cheyenne is doing great and having great days, it is still real scary. We are trying to not let the "What if's" come in. We are just remaining faithful to the Lord, we are in His hands.

I had the honor of receiving an email from a young lady today and I would like to introduce everyone to her. I have been long time friends of her dad and haven't seen her in years. She developed her Caringbridge site today, and I was very excited to be able to be the FIRST visitor. Cheyenne was # 2. Her name is Jana Pearce, age 18, formerly from San Angelo, now of Flowermound, TX, near Dallas. She suffers from spina bifida. If I am not mistaken, they attended Glen Meadows Baptist Church way back then. Please drop over and say hello. Her site is
http://caringbridge.com/tx/jana/index.htm .

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful prayers, thoughts, and guestbook entries. You are all so kind and generous. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, January 18, 2004 10:11 PM CST

Cheyenne was really full of spunk today, feeling great and being a little stinker. You can really tell when she has a good day, singing, dancing, and acting up.

This morning was church, and Cheyenne was one of the acolytes (lighting and extinguishing the candles). She did a WONDERFUL job. After church we decided to venture out in the cold for lunch and ran into Coach Slate, and her team mates Christene and Jessica, along with their families. Cheyenne was still talking to them about the Ram Belles game. I guess we will have to break down and get season tickets next year. Cheyenne has now decided that not only does she want to go to Medical School when she gets older, she wants to play ball at ASU during her first 4 years.

This evening was again Church for Cheyenne, as she goes every 1st and 3rd Sunday night. Mom took her and stayed with her throughout her lessons. Cheyenne has really amazed us alot lately with her knowledge of the bible. The other day she added a screen saver on this computer, which is a verse from the New Testament, and twice lately she has used the computer to make a card for someone, and all by herself, writes the greetings on the inside. In both cases it was Bibical related, and quite good I might add.

Just before bed tonight, Cheyenne was again spinning around on her toes, ballet style, arms outstretched, singing a Little Mermaid song. Then just to prove to me that she could do it, closed her eyes and began to stand on one foot, then the other, alternating feet. Also tonight, she surprised me when she told us that her eyesight is better than it was. That the blind spot on her left side (where it becomes fuzzy and double) is smaller than it was previously.

Tomorrow is back to school for Miss Cheyenne, although mom, dad and sis are off from work and school. As Cheyenne put it, I HAVE to go to school tomorrow to finish my History project. She is drawing a large map of the United States.

On Tuesday, we are off to San Antonio for Cheyenne's 3 month MRI on Wednesday morning early. Please keep the little stink in your prayers. That afternoon, we have a regularly scheduled Dr appointment with her Oncologist. We should have a vebal report on the MRI by then and be able to view them by Thursday morning.

This afternoon and night, I have been talking to our friends Kenny and Jess in Japan. Little Lyone has had a rough 24 hours and is in need of prayers if you have time. Also remember Emily as she recuperates from surgery.

One last thing before going. If you happen to have a spare minute, I have linked a site belonging to an amazing 14 year old boy at the bottom of Cheyenne's page. His name is Chance and he is from Savannah, GA. Reading his journals show what an amazing young man he is. Cheyenne has a new friend in Georgia!!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Only through God can these horrible diseases be beaten. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, January 17, 2004 11:30 PM CST

Cheyenne had a really great and fun day today, especially considering she was a little party girl last night. Last night at the sleepover/birthday party, I understand that the girls stayed up past 3am playing games and having fun. When I dropped by at about 10am to pick her up, she was already up playing computer games. So, no more than 6 hours sleep at best.

This afternoon Cheyenne and the Mystic Slates had their first basketball game. The girls all played a very good game for the first one of the year, and won the game. But then with the "Best Coach in the World", they don't lose many!

Immediately following their game, Coach Slate took Cheyenne to see the ASU Ram Belles and Rams play basketball. Cheyenne really enjoyed the game and Coach Slate had a few surprises up her sleeve. Just before tip off, Megan of the Ram Belles pitched Cheyenne an autographed ball. Then the Ram Belles went on to win big time over the other team. After the game, the Ram Belles asked Cheyenne into the locker room for the post game meeting where Cheyenne says she met her future coach, Coach Brooks of the Ram Belles. There were lots of photos, hugs and handshakes. Cheyenne has become the #1 Ram Belles fan.

The Rams lost a disappointing game in the last 1 second when the other team made a 3 pointer. Better luck next time Rams!

We finally made it home at around 1030pm and Cheyenne crashed in my chair at around 1130. Not bad for just 5 or 6 hours sleep. Her little battery just needed to be recharged.

Thank you for checking in on Cheyenne and a very special Thank You for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, January 17, 2004 0:09 AM CST

Today was another one of those WONDERFUL days for our girl Cheyenne. First of all, her school was out today, and a no school day is always a good one. She felt wonderful all day long. And her big sis Diana came in last night from college and took Miss Cheyenne shopping all day. Now that was a way to spend a day.

Donna and I met them for lunch and I couldn't help but notice how Cheyenne would look at her sister. She admires her so very much. Both those girls love each other and respect each other so so much. It is really great.

This evening was the final basketball practice prior to tomorrow's first game. They play at 4pm at Edison Jr High in San Angelo. After the game, Coach Slate is taking Cheyenne to the ASU Ram Belles game. I don't think Cheyenne will read this before, so I can safely say that Coach Slate has a couple of surprises in store for Cheyenne at the game..

Immedately after practice tonight, Cheyenne went to a very good friends house, Shasta, for her birthday party and sleepover. They were so nice to Cheyenne, even though we couldn't get there until after 8pm, the girls waited to blow out the candles and cut the cake until Cheyenne got there. Wasn't that sweet?

SPEAKING OF BIRTHDAYS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADDIE. YOU ARE NOW 14 YEARS OLD!!!! ALso, Cheyenne called Maddie tonight on the phone and said "Hey". I believe from all the "Oh, My Gosh, it is Cheyenne" sayings, she was surprised. We love ya Maddie, keep up the good work!

I haven't had an opportunity to check all our caringbridge friends yet tonight, but I did notice that Trevor and Ross Joiner are getting better every day. Their counts are now beginning to rise after the transplant. FANTASTIC. Our God is an Awesome God. Thank you Lord for this wonderful news.

Also, I spent awhile on the phone and messenger with the DaSilva family in Japan. On the MSN messenger we were able to see sweet little Lyone laughing, playing, and goofing around. It is so wonderful to witness God's miracles first hand.

Thank you everyone for all the wonderful prayers, guestbook entries, and support for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, January 15, 2004 8:58 PM CST

This morning had another one of those "sick" moments in store for Cheyenne as we were getting ready for school. It quickly passed and she made it to school with about 30 seconds to spare before the bell rang. Considering how many of the other days were immediately following chemo, she is still doing remarkable.

I understand she had another really good day in school with no problems at all. Since it is rainy here today and tonight, she has spent the evening inside playing games with her mom. She is one game playing little girl.

She has a pretty big weekend planned this weekend, starting tomorrow night with basketball practice. On Saturday she has her first game and then is going to the ASU Ram Belles game with her coach immediately following. Can you believe it, our little girl is going to be PLAYING basketball. No one in their wildest dreams would have thougth that she would be PLAYING basketball this year. GOD has been so very good to Cheyenne and our family. Cheyenne just seems to get better and better each day.

Right now, Cheyenne is going to bed, but is laughing so hard her side hurts. Her little puppy is running arround at about Mach III through the house terrorizing her mom's little fat fuzzy dog, knowing very well that mom's dog can't catch her. Cheyenne thinks it is the funniest sight in the world.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are a very powerful thing in this fight against childhood diseases.

Tonight if you will, please say and extra prayer for little Emily, Angel Zach's sister Samantha, and Jessie. Also our very good friend and former San Angeloeon, Benji, is having an MRI on the 20th and has asked for continued prayers.

AND, if you have time, tomorrow is Maddie's 14th birthday. She is one sweet young lady and would love for you to drop over and say hi.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, January 14, 2004 8:48 PM CST

Today was another really good day for Cheyenne, althought it didn't start out that way. This morning when it was time to get up and go to school, Cheyenne just couldn't get up and get started. She seems unusually tired and had a little of a tummy ache. So, good old mom and dad let her sleep in most of the morning. When she finally got up and started moving around, she felt fine and re-energized, so it was off to school.

Since then she has been unstoppable. She says she had a very good day at school and had lots of fun as well. I worked late tonight, but Cheyenne said that she spent the evening after school watching her favorite TV shows, riding the go kart, and DOING HOMEWORK..Now that is fun, especially the homework!! Of course it is now her bedtime, and she isn't even close to being ready to go to bed. She must take after me on that. Also, when I asked her what she had for dinner, she told me Chili Dogs!! What I didn't know, is that she now gets them 10 at a time at Weinerschnizel and freezes them. Boy does she love Chili dogs.

Tonight as I was going through our caringbridge friends sites, I laughed out loud when I read one journal. Now, Carolyn, I didn't mean to laugh, and I know it was serious for Fisher, but I just couldn't help it.. If you get a chance, please jump over and read Fisher's journal, titled "The one about toliet paper".

Thank you all for the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God is looking after our children, and I know he is answering your prayers. A couple of the children need extra prayers tonight as they face a few obstacles in the next day or so. Jessie, who had some fabulous test results today, has a few more to go through. Also beautiful little Emily will undergoing surgery in the next few days. And of course, I will be praising and thanking God for the WONDERFUL MRI results for Luke. Thank you to everyone, and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, January 13, 2004 8:41 PM CST

Last night after the journal entry, Cheyenne began to complain of an upset stomach. By the time her 1 am Protocel dosage rolled around, she couldn't hold it back and became sick to her stomach. She bounced right back, though, and was able to get some sleep. This morning she was again bright and chipper and ready to take on the day at school.

Cheyenne was still feeling great by the time I got home from work. She finished the day enjoying her go kart and helping me feed the animals. We had a lot of fun just hanging out and being daddy and daughter.

Tonight turned into "payback" for missing school yesterday. Lots of makeup work.

Also tonight I had a real pleasure that brought a tear to my eye. As I was having a conversation with Kenny and Jess DaSilva of Japan, little Lyone got on the phone. Lyone, only 4 years old, just had to talk to me and say hello. In the course of the conversation Lyone said "Hello, Roy, I love you!!" Now that is sweet!

One more thing I wanted to mention. In case you didn't know it, another one of our very good friends is having a birthday Friday. Maddie is going to be the big 14. We just love this girl. If you would, please drop over and tell her Happy Birthday. She is absolutely the most fantastic teenager I have ever had the privledge of knowing.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Lyone is not yet linked to Cheyenne's site and is still in need of prayers as he fights this massive brain tumor. Thanks to the many prayers going his way, he has been improving daily.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, January 12, 2004 7:41 PM CST

This morning when it was time to get up and get ready for school, Cheyenne gave us that look, and hinted that she didn't feel that well and should stay home from school. Since she had just finished this round of chemo last night we didn't give it a second thought, and let her sleep in. I am kind of slow, but I started to catch on by late this afternoon. I guess it was the totality of the events that finally gave Cheyenne away.

I had a 10am dental appointment this morning, and when I asked Cheyenne if she wanted to go with me or if I should cancel, she bounced out of bed and was dressed in about 30 seconds. I should have noticed.

As we were walking into the dental office, I tried to give her a hug and with a gleam in her eye said, "Only if you can catch me". I couldn't catch her, I couldn't even come close. Maybe then I should have noticed.

And then, I guess I should have picked up on the 3 chili dogs that she ate throughout the day. She looooves chili dogs from "Wienerschnizel". No lack of appetite was a good clue.

And then when we were back home and she was on the go kart, riding all over the place, smiling from ear to ear, that was another clue.

And when I saw her riding back to the house from the gate "lickity split" (another good Texan term) as the school bus passed so the bus driver didn't see her, another clue.

So, after looking back on the entire day, even though Cheyenne stayed home sick from school today, I tend to believe she had a wonderful day.

Right now, she is helping her mom paint her bathroom furniture in the middle of the floor. By this time next year, we may have Cheyenne's bathroom finished.

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other caringbridge children and families. Cheyenne is proof positive that the power of prayer is AWESOME. Thank you again, and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, January 11, 2004 9:02 PM CST

!!!!ANOTHER ROUND OF CHEMO GONE!!!!

Hope I don't jinx anything, but this has been the easiest round of chemo for Cheyenne yet. Has to be all those prayers.

This morning was church day and Cheyenne loves going to church and being with her friends. She has some true friends at church in her youth group.

This afternoon, we had hoped to go visit Cheyenne's Grandparents near Paint Rock. But due to the waterbed problem, we decided we had better stay and get the bedroom ready for the mattress delivery tomorrow morning. And yes, we did finally get the 300 plus pound watersoaked waterbed out of the house. It was a 4 person job, and we only had 3 people, counting Cheyenne, but we did it.

Afterwards, Cheyenne wanted to practice her artistic ability. She had decided that stained furniture would not fit into her idea of a perfect girl's bathroom, so she started to paint some furniture for her bathroom that we are remodeling. So, Cheyenne spent the entire afternoon painting. She did a real good job, and hardly no mess.. So as it stands tonight, the bedroom is upside down due to the waterbed thing, one bathroom is completely upside down, 1/4 remodeled (or 3/4 unfinished), Cheyenne and mom are sleeping on the couch rollout bed, and I am in a bunk bed in the room with the Gerbil. That's the Gerbil that runs on its excercise wheel, ALL night long. Fun, Fun, Fun...

Tomorrow is work and school, so I had better go. Cheyenne wants me to tell everyone hello and thank you from the bottom of her heart....

God Bless you all and thank you all for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, January 10, 2004 11:26 PM CST

*****ONLY ONE MORE DAY OF CHEMO ON THIS ROUND*****

Day 4 of this round of Chemo, and Cheyenne hasn't even blinked. She is such a tough little cookie. She was up before me this morning (I did sleep in a little) and playing games with her mom and sister. (That makes me the last one up today if you didn't notice!).

We spent the morning draining our waterbed. And yes, it did take alllll morning. We have had a waterbed forever, and by the way I hated it, but anyway, it burst yesterday. Not just a leak, it blew!! Cheyenne and I finally got it drained a little after noon. Now we just have to figure out how to get a 300 lb wet foam filled waterbed out of the bedroom and outside..

After the waterbed adventure, we were off to a special treat. A few days ago we received in the mail, a beautiful invitation. Upon opening it, it was signed by Cheyenne. Her church youth group had decided to prepare a special meal for all their parents, sent out invitations and all, and no one leaked the secret.. We had a wonderful dinner of spagetti, meat sauce ,salad, tea, and dessert, all with our very own personal server, Cheyenne. Then as entertainment, Cheyenne and a couple other children put on skits. They are a talented group.

Following the dinner, mom took Cheyenne to the new skating rink in town where she skated her little heart out. But the best part was when they were leaving, Cheyenne asked her mom, "Do you know what the best part of tonight was?" Mom responded, the skating? No, Cheyenne said, "just being with you"!" Wasn't that nice??

Thank you for all your prayers, guestbook entries, and your caring and support for Cheyenne and all the caringbridge children. As you probably know, they and their families are really special to me. Again, Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, January 9, 2004 11:57 PM CST

Before I get into today's journal, I need to make a heartfelt comment. Most importantly, the parent that asked me not to list the details of their child's condition on this site is only trying to protect the privacy and rights of the most important thing in their life, their child and family. I understand completely. ***********************************************************

++++++ONLY 2 DAYS OF CHEMO LEFT ON THIS ROUND++++++

On day 3 of this round of chemo, Cheyenne was again the energizer bunny. After an entire day at school, she was pumped up and ready for basketball practice tonight. I missed most of it, but Cheyenne had a great time running up and down the court. She does tire a little easier than she used to, but that is to be expected. She gets out there and runs "suicides" on the court just barely slowing down before finishing. I couldn't do a tenth of one if my life depended on it.

After basketball practice, which ends at 7:30, she wanted to go to a new roller rink in town to skate all night. Fortunately for me (I was a little tired and didn't feel like spending 4 hours at the rink, although I would have!!) she opted for going to dinner with Coach Slate and her family. We had a great visit and it was nice to just sit there and talk.

Following dinner, (now this was crazy) we needed a few things at the store, so Cheyenne and I dropped by Walmart. Did you know that at 1030 at night, it is just as crowded as in the afternoon? Then, on top of all the people, the clerks are stocking all the shelves, so there are carts and boxes everywhere!! We finally got home a little before midnight. Our first chance to sit and relax all day.

This evening I received news of one of God's miracles from across the ocean. Donna and I had a very long conversation with Kenny Desilva in Japan. Kenny, the father of Lyone who is suffering from a massive brain tumor, called and asked that I thank everyone for all the prayers for Lyone and to please continue as they are working a miracle. He also asked me to thank all the Protocel parents that have helped with their experiences in various forms of chemotherapy, steroids, and of course, Protocel. Kenny and Jessica were told by their doctors that little Lyone would probably not see this Christmas. However, on Christmas day, Lyone began a heavy lysing period (Protocel's way of ridding the body of cancer cells) which is still continuing. Today Lyone is beginning to walk again, regaining the use of his left hand, and playing, laughing, and enjoying life. Thank you GOD!!

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, January 8, 2004 8:55 PM CST

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You may notice that I am changing the way that I journal. Even thought it was never my intention, I apparently may have caused some undue stress or hard feelings over privacy issues with another caringbridge member. For this I humbly and sincerely apologize. I feel very strongly about the power of prayer, and often ask for prayers for some of those children that are currently in need. I attempt to visit a number of children’s sites each day in an attempt to bring a smile, give some encouragement, or just to let them know that they are in our prayers. In writing Cheyenne’s daily journal, I sometimes mention the specific need of the child as listed in their caringbridge journal. Generally I ask permission from the parent prior to including their child’s site as a link on Cheyenne’s site, however, it is possible that I may have failed to do that in every case, as I have had my stressful moments as well.

I also strongly believe that all caringbridge children and parents are due their privacy. I will continue to offer prayers to our caringbridge children in private, but until such time that I can contact each parent of every child linked to Cheyenne’s site I will not be listing specific prayer requests or needs of the other children. Again, I am truly sorry for any undue stress that I may have inadvertently caused.

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*****ONLY 3 MORE DAYS OF CHEMO LEFT IN THIS ROUND*****

Today was day 2 of this 5 day round of Temodar, and other than about 30 minutes this evening, she is handling it very well. Unfortunately, the 30 minutes was right at dinner time, and tonight turned into a Chicken Noodle soup night for her. We have been real fortunate that Cheyenne has not lost a lot of weight, but she is still sooo thin. She still weighs the same as when diagnosed, but she has grown a couple of inches in height.

I really missed taking Cheyenne to school this morning, our 30 minutes in the car talking about everything and solving the world problems. I had to work early, but Diana came through (still home on break) and gave her a ride.

This evening Cheyenne enjoyed herself on the trampoline, and is now playing games with her mom (It is past her bedtime but I won't remind mom if you don't).

Oh, I can't leave this out, today was report card day for Cheyenne. All A's and B's. WAY TO GO MY BABY GIRL!!!

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I have personally experienced the power of prayer, and it is awesome!

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, January 7, 2004 9:23 PM CST

***1 DAY OF CHEMO DOWN, ONLY 4 MORE TO GO THIS ROUND***

Today was the beginning of round # 5 of a total of 10 rounds of Chemo for Cheyenne. Chey breezed through the day without a hint of nausea or other problems.

As a matter of fact, like they say, a picture is worth 1000 words. Well, unfortunately I don't have a picture, but I will describe the scene when I arrived home from work. Cheyenne was in the front yard, twirling around in circles, standing on her tippy toes, with her arms outstretched as if dancing ballet, singing out loud. When she saw me, she danced over to me, still singing ,and gave me a big hug and kiss. They don't make days better than this!!!!

Tonight, as always, prior to writing Cheyenne's journal I read her guestbook entries, then checked on our caringbridge friends. Tonight I wanted to dedicate this journal to a few of these children.

First of all, if you know me, I have a soft heart for beautiful little girls. As I was reading Cheyenne's guestbook entries tonight, I read the entry by Kathy concerning our friend Emily. Of course I jumped over to Emily's page to see how she was doing and discovered that she needs a few prayers right now as she goes through a rough period. So, I added a link to her site on the bottom of Cheyenne's page. This little girl is so beautiful, if you ever visit her page, you'll be making return visits.!!!

While I was going through some of the sites, I was overwhelmed with so many children experiencing miracles and having good news lately. I just had to thank God and ask you to help me thank Him and praise Him for all the good news. Keep in mind while reading them that modern medicine says none of these kids should be doing as well as they are..

Zach is out of the hospital after 1 day.

As I mentioned earlier, Chris's MRI basically shows his tumor as stable.

Dave's MRI is CLEAR!!

Gooch is now a NORMAL kid it has been so long with clear scans.

Mitch is feeling GREAT!

Jessie enjoying CLEAR scans!!

Trevor and Ross doing very well with their stem cell transplants.

Benji is enjoying life with Clear scans!

Maddie is feeling and doing GREAT!!

Jackson getting better each day out of the hospital!

Jake is getting better each day!!

Kody is feeling and doing GREAT!!

Matthew is doing GREAT with clear scans!!

Dylan has STABLE scans!!

Celeste is the biggest sweetheart I know, and having very good days with STABLE scans!!

And of course, my Cheyenne, feeling great and doing GREAT!!

THANK YOU GOD FOR YOUR CONTINUED HEALING OF THESE WONDERFUL CHILDREN.

Of course, all these children are still in need of prayer, and I will be praying for them daily, so please join me.

Also there are a few of the children which are experiencing some rough times and are in need of extra prayers.

Mckenzie, Fisher, and Isaac as they have had some symptoms of this beast of a tumor return. Maxie as he is becoming weak and tired from radiation and chemo. And little Julianna Banana as the doctors say she has relapsed.

Heavenly Father, our Lord, please be with these children and lay your healing hand upon them. Through You all things are possible. Amen

Thank you for stopping by and reading my ramblings, but I just had to share the word of some of God's miracles.

God Bless all of you.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, January 6, 2004 9:01 PM CST

Today was another very good day for Cheyenne, both a school and afterwards at home. She even brought home homework!!!! That wasn't too much fun!!! But the good news of the day is that Cheyenne didn't get sick at all today. We cherish those days.

Tomorrow is chemo day, and she is all ready for it. I guess she just knows that it has to be done and steps up and does it. I really respect this little girl. She is my hero.

I would like to share a little Protocel story with you even though it doesn't involve Cheyenne. As you know, Cheyenne takes all the conventional treatments as well as an alternative treatment called Protocel. Protocel is an FDA approved supplement, but is not approved to fight cancer, even though that is what it was invented for. Anyway, I have had this spot on my ear for about 1 1/2 years that was most likely cancerous. Skin cancer runs in the family and both my brother and father have recently had to have cancerous portions of their faces removed. About 3 to 4 weeks ago, since we have so much Protocel around the house it looks like the Protocel warehouse, I started taking it with Cheyenne. More than anything it was a way for her to take it a little easier since it does taste bad. We have a kind of contest taking it. I thought, what the heck, I know it can't hurt, and I was also curious about the spot on my ear. Well, after only 3 1/2 weeks, the spot on my ear has completely disappeared. When will modern medicine quit being so hard headed about Alternative Treatments?

Also because so many people have asked, my hand is doing ok. It is just hard and painful to type with one hand swollen. I accidentally drove a thorn through a knuckle while clearing brush in the pasture over the weekend. Painful but I'll live.

Thank you all for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. The power of prayer is an AWESOME thing. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, January 5, 2004 10:38 PM CST

Just a quick and short journal tonight before calling it a night. Today being the first day of school as well as a work day, we all are really wiped out tonight. That's what we get for going to bed so late and getting up so early in the morning.

Cheyenne was up early this morning, feeling her oats and ready to go to school. She has had a run of very good days, feeling good as well as having fun. But with school starting, some of her fun is coming to a close. This evening I was asking her about school, and apparently school wasn't as much fun as she remembered. She really didn't talk about it, but I am sure it is just that she has gotten so used to playing with friends or her brother all day, every day during vacation.

She is already looking forward to the weekend! (But then so am I! HA!

Cheyenne starts her chemo (Temodar) again Wednesday morning, but in the past, she handles it very well until a few days after the round is over. Then the nausea starts settling in for a few days. Hopefully we can pass on that this time.

I am really tired, I injured my hand yesterday and it is a bear to type, so I am going to check on a few of our caringbridge friends and get some sleep. Thank you for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. They are God's precious gift to their parents. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, January 4, 2004 7:09 PM CST

Hello everyone. I thought I would update Cheyenne's journal while she is away at church. Lately, she would rather me sit with her, play games, watch TV, or just talk to her rather than update her journal. I really don't blame her, and I really don't mind at all. As a matter of fact, I am thrilled. She is gone doing something almost every second of the day and we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like.

This morning was a normal church morning, and it being the 1st Sunday of the month, it is also church night. I chose to stay home this evening while mom took Cheyenne to church. I am trying to remodel the bathroom, and thought I could at least get the sink in before they returned. Well, it is 1/2 in, but I have to wait for the calk to set and hold the sink in place before attaching the plumbing. If anyone out there wants to come help put in tile, feel free!!!!

Tomorrow Cheyenne starts school again. Hopefully most of the flu has run its course and there aren't as many sick children at school. Then wednesday, Cheyenene starts this round of chemo. We are praying that it will be a noneventful round like most of the previous.

2004 isn't starting off as I had hoped. As I was checking Cheyenne's caringbridge friends this evening, I discovered that Julianna Banana has relapsed. This is one sweet little girl. Fisher and Monika have become somewhat symptomatic again, but we are hoping and praying that it is something else causing this. Sweet little Celeste started running a fever last night and her mom took her to the emergency room. Jessie had excellent scan results, but her liver counts were suspicious, so additional tests were ordered. Samantha Herrera, sister of Angel Zach, is having tests tomorrow due to a pain and a spot located near her spine. McKenzie was referred to hospice, but is fighting this beast of a tumor with all her heart. God Bless you kids!!!

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne, her family, and all the other children. Only with God can we get through the bad days, as well as the good ones. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, January 3, 2004 9:00 PM CST

Hello Everyone!

Today was a "nothing special" day for Cheyenne. We were up early for basketball practice this morning. Cheyenne's first game will be next Saturday, but we do not have the schedule yet. Her team is a realllllly good team. Several of the kids started their first year with this team and get better each year. The girls this year asked Cheyenne to name the team. They are the "Mystic Slates". ("Slates" in honor of the best girl's basketball coach in the world, Coach Slate, who by the way, is the current coach of the "Mystic Slates".

Late this afternoon, Cheyenne went to Bethey's birthday party at McDonalds. Bethey was three today. It is so cute each Sunday watching her, she just loves Cheyenne, and makes a point of always saying hi and waving during church.

I am hoping that tomorrow Cheyenne will not want to be as energetic as usual. Hopefully after church, I can convince her to just hang around the house and rest a little since the next day is a school day.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Tonight I am asking for a prayer for Misty and Samantha Herrera. Misty is Little Zach Herrera's mom and Samantha his sister (Zach is linked to this site). Zach became an angel in September 2003 from this beast of a tumor and now Samantha is having an MRI Monday in an attempt to determine what is causing some problems she is experiencing.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, January 2, 2004 9:45 PM CST

Hello everyone.

I apoligize for not writing much tonight, but I have been thinking about the last year, all the friends that we have lost, and I don't feel my best.

I guess I jinxed ourselves last night when I mentioned that Cheyenne had not had a hint of nausea in quite awhile. Not 5 seconds after writing the journal, she came down with a stomach ache. Since then she has had minor bouts of nausea, but only lasting 30 to 40 seconds, 2 or 3 times a day. But, this is sooo much better than it was 2 weeks ago, we are not complaining. We did receive her Chemo in the mail today, so she will start this round on the 7th.

Today Mom took Cheyenne and some of her friends to a movie, where I understand they all had a wonderful time. Following the movie, the kids came over and it was fun running around the house and playing on the trampoline. It is so nice to hear her laugh and giggle!

Tomorrow will be an early day with basketball practice early and a birthday party later in the day. Cheyenne goes, and goes, and goes almost 24 by 7. I have a hard time keeping up. I really wish she would slow down a little, but it is hard making her. She does suffer a little from all the activity.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and please remember all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, January 1, 2004 8:27 PM CST

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I hope and pray that 2004 is a better year for all our Caringbridge families. 2003 was such a devastating year. Already today, the first day of 2004, we have lost our sweet little Ashley. She has gone to be with the Lord. Free of pain, free of this beast of a tumor, now home. Please remember her family in your daily prayers, as well as all those that loved her so very much.

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Today, for the 5th day in a row, Cheyenne was away from home all day long, with friends. I am beginning to get jealous. She has so much fun at her friend James' house. They both like to play board games, watch movies, and just goof around together. I understand that Donna may be taking them to a movie tomorrow while I am at work.

Cheyenne had another really good day today. It has been days since she had the slightest hint of nausea. Hopefully her chemo will arrive tomorrow in the mail, as her next schedule starts on the morning of the 7th. We are praying for a nausea free treatment this time. It would be nice if she could have one complete month without gettting sick.

Thank you everyone for the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. While we have so much to ask of the Lord, we also have so much to praise and thank Him for.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, December 31, 2003 9:55 PM CST

***WISHING YOU ALL A VERY BLESSED NEW YEAR***

2003 is almost gone, and 2004 is fast approaching. The past year has completely changed our lives and we will never be the same. 2003 has not been the best for the Fiveash family, but with the bad there has come good. Of course, Cheyenne was diagnosed in 2003 and our world was turned upside down. However, through this adversity and during this journey we have become stronger. We have met many, many wonderful people and made so many new lifelong friends. Our Faith in the Lord has increased 1,000 fold. We have become a much closer family. Cheyenne continues to experience a miracle in her healing of this tumor that modern medicine says is incurable. We have learned what is truly important in life. We have been truly blessed.

As I write this, I can not help but think of all the families that have lost a child to one of these horrible diseases during the past year. There have been so very many. Also there are so many whose children are so very sick as of this moment. May the coming year be good to them, and God bless and keep them. May the children experience a miracle healing. That is my wish for the New Year.

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Cheyenne had a wonderful day today, spending the day with our good friends and neighbors, playing and having fun all day. She seems to improve a little everyday. Thank you God!

Thank you everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are ever so powerful. I know they are working a miracle in our little girl.

There are a few of our friends that are in need of extra prayers tonight. Please join me in lifting up the following children to the Lord in prayer: Ashley, McKenzie, Lyone, and Nicholas' family. Also, tonight I will be praising and thanking God for the excellent scans for Jessie, the Joiner brothers successful stemcell transplant, and Jackson doing better each day.

Thank you and God Bless you all. Have a Wonderful and Blessed New Year and may it be good to you and yours.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, December 29, 2003 9:46 PM CST

Cheyenne spent the night last night and is spending the night tonight with her big brother Christopher and his family. So it is a little lonely around here without our little stinker (she would be mad if she read that I called her a stinker in public).

For the life of me, I can't figure out why she hasn't tired of it yet, but again today, she and Becca had Christopher take them to the lake to ride the go kart. I understand that today, they traveled 1 1/2 hours from where they parked, only to get the 4 wheeler stuck in the mud. AND, they didn't have the winch. So they had to drive all the way back in the go kart to get the winch, and then return to get the 4 wheeler out. KIDS!!!! (sounds like me last night)

Our daughter in law went this time and took a few photos. I can't believe some of them. It is a good thing Cheyenne's go kart is full time 2 wheel drive. In some of the photos those kids are driving through 6 inch water and mud. I believe our son Christopher is turning Cheyenne into a little minnie me of him. He loves mudding in his 4 wheeler and his 4 wheel drive truck. Hopefully I will either get some photos scanned or get them on a disk so I can load a few into the photo album pretty soon.

As always, thank you all for all the wonderful prayers for my little girl and all the other children. I am sure that you have noticed, but if not, the prayers are working a miracle in Cheyenne. She is so healthy and living life to the fullest. God Bless you all.

*****UPDATE*****

Last night after completing the journal, I learned of 2 little brothers, Trevor and Ross, of Lubbock, TX that are undergoing a stemcell transplant in a couple of days. So, please, if you have time, drop in on these two beautiful boys and let them you know that you are praying for them and their family. I posted their caringbridge website address in the area at the bottom of the page named "Joiner Boys". Thank you and God Bless.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, December 28, 2003 11:45 PM CST

I apoligize for beginning Cheyenne's journal with more bad news tonight, but we lost another little baby today. Angel Gracie (www.caringbridge.org/al/gracie/index.htm) went to be with the Lord after a couragous battle with cancer. Please remember their family in your prayers along with Nicholas' and Max's. Three children just since Christmas that we know. We HAVE to find a cure for pediatric cancer and tumors! If you didn't know, very little has changed in the treatment of these diseases in 30 years.

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Today was another very upbeat happy day for Cheyenne. After church several friends came over to the house and they played board games, watched movies, and played on the trampoline. Lots of laughs and giggles.

This evening, after her friends left, she decided to spend the night at her brother Christopher's house. Christopher and his family live completely across town from us, about 30 miles one way. I packed everything I thought Cheyenne would need, including our little "portable medicine bag". I loaded the medicine bag with her Zofran, Zyrtec, NasaKort, several bottles of water, apple juice to mix with her Protocel, a little mixing glass, the measuring eyedropper, just about everything, and off we went. After arriving I was going through the medicine bag explaining her dosages and times to Christopher, and what did I forget? The stupid Protocel. Cheyenne was of course, elated!! But her joy was short lived, as I turned around, drove 30 miles back to the house, picked up the Protocel and delivered it to her just as it was time for her next dose. So, inorder for Cheyenne to spend the night at Christopher's, I drove 120 miles tonight. And did not get back home until 11:30. Ha. Now my luck, Cheyenne will call within the next hour or so and ask to come back home. Let's make it 180 miles tonight!!

I believe Christopher has another big day planned for the girls tomorrow, but I am not sure exactly what it involves. He is soooooo good to this little girl. I don't know what we did, but we raised some awfully good children.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are so very powerful. I know that Lyone in Japan is still in need of prayers very desperately, and Jessie will be having an MRI on the 31st. Good luck Jess, God be with you!! We are expecting an "All Clear" report!!

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, December 27, 2003 7:34 PM CST

Cheyenne had another wonderful day today.

This morning we were up early and at basketball practice by 9am. Chey really enjoys her basketball and her basketball friends!

This afternoon, big brother Christopher came through again. He was over to pick up Cheyenne around 1pm and took Cheyenne and Becca to the Lake to ride the Go Kart. Cheyenne drives that thing like a pro now. Not only did they go Go Karting, but apparently they spent quite a bit of time at the lake catching frogs and minnows. (Sounds more like me as a boy instead of 2 girls).

When they came home, you should have seen those two girls. Mud from head to toe and smiling from ear to ear. They had to be hosed off before letting them in the house they were so muddy. Thank goodness it was in the 70's here today. I thought it was rather cute and got a big laugh out of it, but Mom, well another story. She grounded Christopher over it. Oh, by the way, Christopher is 24 years old, married and has 2 children! I don't know, but I think Mom was kidding!! I hope so anyway.

Tonight Cheyenne is over at another friends house for a couple of hours. She is having one terrific day today. What little I saw of her today, she was smiling, laughing, and singing out loud. Those are good signs!

I'm not sure what tomorrow holds after church, but I am sure Cheyenne will come up with something to do. She likes to be on the go 24 hours a day.

Thank you all for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. If you would, please remember the families of little Nicholas and Max tonight in your prayers (I don't have little Max's site linked to Cheyenne's but if you want to visit it, it is www.caringbridge.org/mn/madams/index.htm). These two little boys are our latest caringbridge angels.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, December 26, 2003 8:06 PM CST

It is with great saddness and a very heavy heart that I tell you that our little friend Nicholas, went to be with the Lord this morning. Maybe someday in Heaven, Nicholas will play his guitar for me. Rest in Peace little guy and watch over your family during this time without you.

We have lost sooo many caringbridge children over the past month. There has to be an end to this madness.

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Miss Cheyenne had a very good day today, without sickness and smiling and laughing all day. Her big brother Christopher really made her day again. (He does that quite frequently) He came over just after noon with his sister in law, Becca Perez, picked up Cheyenne and her new Go Kart, and took them to the lake where they could ride for miles and miles. He accompanied them on his 4 wheeler and literally, they probably rode 50 miles. Of course, both Becca and Cheyenne want to do it again tomorrow, but we'll have to see.

Thank you for all the prayers and support for Cheyenne and all the other children. These children are really special to me and it means a lot. God Bless you all.

Thursday, December 25, 2003 1:11 AM CST

++++++++++MERRY CHRISTMAS++++++++++

It is now a little after 1am, and officially Christmas here in West Texas. We just returned from late service at Church, and it was beautiful. Just as midnight rolled around, we lit the candles and started singing "Silent Night".

Today was an excellent day for Cheyenne, just all smiles an giggles all day long. She LOVES Christmas. But she is the first to point out, that "Jesus is the reason for the Season"! On days such as this, even those short nauseaous times do not dampen her spirit. No matter what, she was going to have a GREAT day today.

As is our family custom (I have been trying to figure out who made this our custom and how long we have been doing it, and of course the kids insist we have always done it), we opened most of the Christmas presents late this evening prior to going to church. Of course we took lots of photos and video taped the event. Cheyenne really got a kick out of this Christmas. Every gift she opened, it was like it was the most treasured gift in the world.

And you might ask, what was her favorite gift this year? Old mom and dad, after a 4 wheeler incident a few weeks ago that parked her brother's 4 wheeler, opted for something a little safer. Cheyenne now has her very own Go Cart to run around the Fiveash Estate on (At least on the road from the gate to the house). We will be having a few safety lessons over the next couple of days. Helmet and seatbelt always, Don't go so fast, Slow down around the corners, and the big one that evaded us when we did the safety lesson on the 4 wheeler, Don't turn around to look behind you and hit the fence!

The Fiveash family wishes each and everyone of you a very Merry Christmas and a Blessed and Healthy New Year. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, December 23, 2003 10:59 PM CST

****CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, ONLY 1 MORE DAY UNTIL CHRISTMAS****

I actually think that Donna and I are semi-ready. Before leaving San Antonio today, we fought the mad San Antonio traffic and did some last minute shopping. (It was CRAZY there!)

Cheyenne had another pretty good day today, only sick to her stomach a couple of times, and it passed fairly quickly. Most of the day was all smiles. It seemed like today was "buy for sister" day. Cheyenne wanted to make sure that her big sis had everything she had ever wanted for Christmas under the tree.

We made it back home around 5pm and spent the evening playing with Cinnamon and wrapping gifts for everyone. Cheyenne is a pretty good gift wrapping person. So far, she had wrapped everything for me and does a professional job. Says she likes to do it!!

Tomorrow Donna works, so it will be Cheyenne and I doing something. I know that we do have to go into town to pick up a little something that we ordered for some of Cheyenne's friends. Of course, her friends live all over the world, and with us picking them up the day before Christmas, they may get them around New Years if we are lucky.

I hope to update tomorrow night, but we are going to Midnight Service (if Cheyenne can stay awake that long). So if for some reason I do not get to update, GOD BLESS you all, and Have a Very Merry Christmas. REMEMBER, JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!! (One of Cheyenne's favorite sayings lately.)

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I know that Cheyenne's friend Jackson was taken to the hospital again and needs prayers for quick healing. Also, please don't forget all her other friends, including McKenzie, Nicholas, Isaac, and Lyone.

Again, thank you an God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, December 22, 2003 11:30 PM CST

********ONLY 2 MORE SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS********

Today was a complete day in San Antonio, leaving the apartment early this morning and just now walking back through the door. It was one of those completely magical days for Cheyenne which she will never forget.

But first, her doctor's appointment: Her blood counts were fine and Dr Estrada was again amazed at how well Cheyenne is doing and even more amazed when he learned of her now playing basketball. Cheyenne did lose about 1/2 lb over the past month, but that is to be expected with her occassional nausea and not eating as she should. Cheyenne is weathering the Temodar chemo so very well. To prevent us from having to make two trips to San Antonio next month, Dr Estrada has scheduled her for the next MRI on January 21st, which will also be her next regularly scheduled appointment.

Early this morning we stopped by the San Antonio office so Cheyenne could drop off a little something for the "girls". While there, Carmen surprised Cheyenne with a blanket sweater and several toys for Cinnamon, Cheyenne's new baby. Cheyenne just loves that puppy to death. She had wanted to bring it to San Antonio, but Diana offered to babysit her at the house, and we convinced Cheyenne it was for the better. Now Cheyenne misses her horribly.

Now for the BIG NEWS of the day. One of my co-workers, Rey Gutierrez was a former Captain of the Constables in Bexar County (San Antonio). I am not sure if Rey arranged it, or Cpl Andy Lopez, or exactly who, but boy did they make Cheyenne's day today. Words cannot describe how happy these wonderful people made this little girl.

Today, Matthew Marshall, Constable Pct # 4, Bexar County, Tx, deputized Cheyenne as an Honorary Deputy Constable. She was sworn in, fingerprinted, and issued photo credentials (Badge # 1498F), and a real Deputy Constable's badge, complete with her name engraved and everything. The little stinker even went on patrol with the Sgt and Cpl for about 30 minutes, talking on the radio, making calls, the whole works. Anyway, I honestly don't think that Disney World topped this. After having a pizza lunch on Cpl Lopez, and a really nice visit with Constable Marshall and all the Constables working today, we took about 100 photos. All with Cheyenne smiling ear to ear. Now the rest of the day that badge and credential case did not leave Cheyenne's hand or pocket. Every few minutes she would pull it out and admire it, then put it back in her pocket, only to take it out again in a few minutes and smile while looking at it.

Cheyenne was so happy today, nausea never entered her mind. As a matter of fact, after leaving the doctor's appointment and doing about 2 hours of shopping, Cheyenne said she was hungry and wanted "steak". Well, since her appetite has not been what it should be lately, we jumped at the idea and took her to the San Antonio riverwalk for a nice dinner. After dinner, Cheyenne was still the energizer bunny, and wanted to tour the river in a river boat to look at the Christmas lights. The San Antonio riverwalk is absolutely beautiful at Christmas during the nighttime.

Since it is after midnight, and I have to check a few of our caringbridge friend's sites, I had better say goodnight for tonight. Cheyenne wanted me to tell everyone at the Pct # 4 Constables Office, "Thank you and God Bless everyone of you." "And be careful out there!"

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, December 20, 2003 7:56 PM CST

******ONLY 4 MORE SHOPPING DAYS LEFT UNTIL CHRISTMAS******

Well, it is official. Cheyenne is the proud mother of a sweet Chihuahua puppy. Cheyenne set the alarm last night and we were at the vet's shortly after 8am to pick her up. Of course they were late opening, and at about 930am, after dropping Cheyenne off at basketball, I was able to get the little thing. Cinnamon absolutely adores Cheyenne and Cheyenne feels the same way about Cinnamon. EVERYWHERE Cheyenne goes, Cinnamon goes. She even follows her from room to room, just waiting for her to sit down so she can lay on her lap. This little dog has done wonders for Cheyenne, she is now her best friend and Cheyenne is like a mother hen around her.

I have noticed that McKenzie just got a cute little fuzzy puppy and both Maxie and Kody want one. Kim, Christy, after Donna posts the photos of Cheyenne and Cinnamon snuggling together, you won't be able to resist. You both just might as well go and get one tomorrow.

Today was a good day for Cheyenne health wise. She still had a little nausea, but it seems to be fading a little and not lasting as long. Hopefully just a couple more days and then she will have a week or 2 with no nausea at all.

This morning was basketball and practice for tomorrow's church program in which Cheyenne plays Mary. Then this afternoon Cheyenne attended the Church youth group Christmas party and had a great time.

Tomorrow after church, Donna, Cheyenne and I are off to San Antonio. Cheyenne has a routine appointment with her oncologist at 2pm. Blood counts etc.. Donna wants to get in some last minute shopping, but I don't know where we will get the time. Eary Monday morning Cheyenne wants to stop by the "girls" office and drop off a little gift for them, then at 11am we have an appointment at another place. I don't want to spoil the surprise, so you will have to wait until monday or tuesday to find out what some very nice people have planned for Cheyenne in San Antonio.

The last couple of days have been pretty rough for us around here. We lost one of our little caringbridge friends and it was really hard. Then there are a few more going through really rough times right now. This is soooo hard. I really can't explain it, but these children are family. I guess it is all that we parents of cancer children share and suffer through. Even though we sometimes do not even meet them personally, we become very good friends. Please remember Little Jake's family in your prayers.

Thank you so very much for remembering Cheyenne and all the other children in your prayers.

In your prayers tonight, please say an extra prayer for Lyone, Nicholas, Savannah, Ashley, Big Jake, McKenzie, and Isaac.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, December 19, 2003 11:46 PM CST

******CHRISTMAS IS ALMOST HERE******

Hello everyone. It has been a long day and will be an even longer day tomorrow, so I will keep this short, if possible.

As predicted, my poor little Cheyenne's nausea is continuing this week. If my predictions hold true, she has another 1 or 2 days of pretty rough nausea, and then it should gradually start slacking off until it goes away in about a week. It seems to be a vicious cycle.

Today Diana was home and stayed with Cheyenne as mom and day went to work. I am not sure exactly what they did, but Cheyenne was in a really good mood when we came home, so I guess Diana was a good big sis today. Also, more importantly, Cheyenne gave us a thumbs up on the boy that Diana is seeing. Said he was a gentleman.

Tonight, Donna and I attended the annual U.S. Customs Christmas party here in San Angelo and had a great time. While we were there, Diana took Cheyenne to her basketball practice followed by a movie. Again, Cheyenne was all smiles when she returned home. That makes us feel realllly good. Nothing like a smile to melt ole dad's heart.

The next few days are schedules, schedules, schedules. And I hate tight schedules. First on our to do list tomorrow is pick up Cheyenne's new baby, Cinnamon. So the rest of the day should be interesting.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers get us through each day and heal these children more each day. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, December 18, 2003 7:31 PM CST

*******ONLY 6 MORE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS*******

!!! I AM NOT READY !!!

Today was another one of those shopping all day long and getting very litte accomplished days. Cheyenne and I left the house around mid-morning and got back home around 4:30. Don't know where the time went!!

For lunch we met Donna at a going away luncheon for her boss. Cheyenne was able to see lots of the men and women that Donna and I work with, and had a really good time visiting.

Afterwards, Cheyenne wanted to drop by the Animal Shelter and visit her new baby. When we arrived, Kristen, the Director of the Humane Society, which is housed in the Animal Shelter, saw us, and gave Cheyenne a big smile. She knows that this kid already loves this dog! They brought Cinnamon Sugar Fiveash, (her new name) into a visiting room with Cheyenne and me. For the next 30 or 40 minutes it was like a family reunion. That little puppy came through the door, saw Cheyenne, and ran to her. Lots of kisses and licks traded places over the next few minutes. A few photos were taken, but I don't know if mom is going to post them or wait until we have some taken around the house.

I tried to trick Cheyenne today, but I know it didn't work. This year, I did order a few things online and they are being delivered to the house. The last couple of times a FedEx or UPS truck came to the house, I told Cheyenne, "Oh, that is just some Protocel that I ordered". THAT KEEPS HER AWAY FROM IT!! Well, today when a truck came and I came up with that same story, she gave me a cute little smile, like "Yea, dad, how much Protocel do you buy?". But she didn't say anything, even as I was dragging a 100 lb box into the house.

Tomorrow is a work day for me, and Diana is going to be home to be with Cheyenne. I believe that she is taking her to basketball practice tomorrow evening and then to see the movie "Brother Bear". Diana is a GREAT big sister.

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember to keep Jake, McKenzie, Nicholas, and Lyone in your prayers everyday. Also, I believe that Chris had his MRI today and Isaac is having his MRI tomorrow. We are praying for very good scans. Lately we have received good news on several of Cheyenne's friends and are thanking and praising the Lord for it. Dylan had a stable MRI, Jackson is out of the hospital, and Mitch is feeling alot better today. Thank you Lord!

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, December 17, 2003 8:03 PM CST

7 MORE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

WE CAN BARELY WAIT!!

Today was another one of those "shopping" days for Cheyenne and dad. For the life of me, I don't know where the time goes. Cheyenne and I were up at 7 am, left the house fairly early, in town all day long, and hardly bought anything.

Cheyenne had a pretty good feeling day, but the nausea is back. Every couple of hours she goes through a few minutes of feeling bad, and then bounces back.

One of our stops today was at the county animal shelter. If you remember, I finally gave in to Cheyenne and told her she could have a puppy. We entered the shelter, and walked through about 100 kennels. As we were walking through, there was this one little dog that saw Cheyenne, jumped up and ran to the door, wagging her tail and looking as if she had just found her owner. Cheyenne immediately fell in love with it. But, there posted on the door was the word "SOLD". Cheyenne reluctantly walked away, and started the trip up and down the kennels looking for the right little puppy. There was one other, but Cheyenne didn't really fall for it. So, as we were leaving, we happened to talk to the lady in charge of the shelter. Well, as it happens, the reason the sign said sold, was that the Humane Society had bought it to save it and put it up for adoption. So, tonight Cheyenne has a brand new little baby (1 year old) Chihuahua that just totally adores her. (Actually we can't pick it up until after 8 am Saturday after it has it's visit to the Vet's.

Of course, right now, Cheyenne is so worried that when we left, and she told the puppy that she would pick her up Saturday, the puppy might not have understood, and thought that Cheyenne had abandoned it. So I am doing my best to assure Cheyenne, that I am SURE the puppy understood.

I really don't know what is planned for tomorrow. I know that Donna has mentioned about 100 things that need to be done tomorrow, but I don't remember any of them at the moment. You ladies need to remember to write that stuff down for us guys.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. We are praying that Jackson is released from the hospital today, that Issac has a good MRI on Friday, and that Mitchell starts feeling better. Also McKenzie, Jake, Nicholas,and Lyone are still in need of additional prayers. There are so many children in need, please continue to remember them and their families in your prayers. Thank you.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, December 16, 2003 10:46 PM CST

^^^^^^^^^^9 MORE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS^^^^^^^^^^

Well, there are only 8 more shopping days left, ARE YOU READY FOR CHRISTMAS???

Today Cheyenne and I spent the day shopping. UGGGGH! If you didn't know this, guys don't really like shopping. We are soooo far behind in thank you notes, Christmas cards, Christmas gifts, everything.... It seems that every weekend we are going somewhere several hundred miles away, then we work during the weekdays, and just never have time for anything.

Cheyenne had a pretty good day today, however we have learned that her nausea seems to come in cycles, and I predicted that it was starting for the next week or so. So, as predicted, several times today she had a few rough moments. When she has this type of nausea, even Zofran doesn't help. She just has to tough it out. It hurts us when she has these spells, but fortunately, they do pass fairly quickly. Her appetite is still good, as long as meal time doesn't coincide with her nausea.

Tonight we realized that we had forgotten to pick up a few things, so it looks like tomorrow will be another shopping day. UGGGGH! Next year I believe it will be all online. Let a truck deliver it to the house.. Much easier.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please remember all of them in your prayers tonight.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, December 15, 2003 9:28 PM CST

~~~~~~~~10 MORE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~28 MORE DAYS WITHOUT CHEMO~~~~~~~

Today Cheyenne's day started with a big surprise. We were up early, off to school as usual, arriving on time. The Principal was outside waiting on us and QUESS WHAT? Due to the flu epidemic, the way some kids were coughing on Cheyenne, etc..., he spoke to all of Cheyenne's teachers, AND, Cheyenne's Christmas Break started TODAY!!!! AN EXTRA WEEK OF BREAK!!!! HOW AWESOME!!!

So, for the next 3 weeks or so, Cheyenne has nothing to do but, have fun, have fun, and have fun. Tomorrow, I have taken off work and Cheyenne and I are going to do a little Christmas shopping. I know, we should have already done it. I really don't know where the time goes. We have SOOOO much to do. We also have SOOOOO many people to shop for. I think we almost have too many friends. Almost, but not yet. Ha..Cheyenne is the most generous person I have ever met in my life. She can't drive by a person on the street asking for money without giving, can't walk by a Salvation Army bucket (and there are an awful lot of them) without giving, can't pass up one of those fundraiser jars in convenience stores without giving. So, of course around Christmas, she has a lot of shopping to do. And the funny thing, it is contagious. We may be bankrupt someday, but we will be happy.

For some reason, today was one of those days for me. I have them from time to time and it is not fun, but when we have them we just muddle through. It always helps me on these days to not focus on bad news, but Praise God for the healing and miracles that he is providing daily.

Tonight I am so very thankful to GOD for providing his healing miracles in Fisher, Zachary, Maddie, Kody, David, Chris, Cameron, Lindsey, Cheyenne and the other children. Thank you GOD! Also tonight, I pray that the LORD lays his healing hand on a few of our very good friends that are now in need. Our new good friend Lyone and our good friends McKenzie, Jake, Jackson, Nicholas, and Isaac. Please dear God, as we thank you for all that you have done, please continue your healing on these wonderful children, and give their families peace and understanding. Amen

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. We would be lost without you.

God Bless

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, December 14, 2003 9:25 PM CST

~~~~~~ONLY 10 MORE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS~~~~~~

~~~~~~ROUND # 4 OF CHEMO IS HISTORY~~~~~~

Cheyenne and I are sitting side by side writing the journal and all our guestbook entries tonight. Here it is 9:30 at night, and she is still going strong!

Today, like yesterday, Cheyenne did have issues with her stomach. We noticed the last two days, her stomach aches seem to come immediately after drinking something, but the nausea seems to just come suddenly for no apparent reason and then go away just as quickly. Going over the daily journal we keep for her medication, we expect a few more nauseaous days for the next 1 1/2 weeks. It appears to pretty much go in cycles.

Today Cheyenne was still all smiles from the UMA Karate Banquet. I saw her admiring her Spirit award several times this morning. She is so proud of that award. Also this morning, before heading back home, Cheyenne went shoe shopping in San Antonio. Cheyenne needed new church shoes and new basketball shoes and picked up some really neat ones.

Next week I believe Cheyenne has 3 days of full school and then 2 days of 1/2 school before getting out for Christmas break. Her sister, Diana is also home as she is out of school for the semester.

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I have not had a chance to go through all the websites tonight, but I know that McKenzie, Nicholas, Lyone, Jackson, and Isaac are in need of extra prayers. Our God is an AWESOME God. Through our Lord God, we can beat this beast called childhood cancer.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne and Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, December 13, 2003 10:35 PM CST

********ONLY 1 MORE DAY OF CHEMO LEFT IN THIS ROUND********

*****ONLY 11 MORE DAYS LEFT UNTIL CHRISTMAS******

THANK YOU GOD FOR A WONDERFUL DAY AND FOR CONTINUED HEALING FOR CHEYENNE!

Today was another very good day for Cheyenne, except for about a minute of nausea in the truck enroute to San Antonio. Of course, no parent of a child taking chemo goes anywhere without a barf bucket in the vehicle. It is just part of our life now, a huge cooler full of medication and a barf bucket. Her nausea is so strange. She can go from feeling great to sick to her stomach in a split second, throw up, and then say, "Whats for lunch, I'm hungry."

This evening we attended the annual United Martial Artists (UMA) Awards Banquet in San Antonio. We were able to see many of our Karate family friends that we haven't seen in several months. Cheyenne and family had a GREAT time. Also, tonight the special guest at the awards banquet was none other than Internationally famous Kung Fu Grand Master and Movie Actor, Eric Lee. (Ask mom to post a photo of Cheyenne and Grand Master Lee!)

Also tonight Cheyenne was the recipient of three awards for the year of 2003. Now, keep in mind that Cheyenne has not competed in a Karate tournament since diagnosis on July 09. So she has missed about 1/2 of the UMA tournaments and all awards are based upon points earned during the tournaments. Well, tonight Cheyenne was awarded the Champion title for Girls age 11 in sparring and the 1st Contender title for Boys and Girls age 10 and 11 in forms.

Now for the third award. Cheyenne is so proud of this. Of all the trophies, awards, ribbons, plaques, etc, that she has received in her life, this by far means more than any. First a little story:

The very last time that Cheyenne sparred before being diagnosed was in an exibition match with Black Belts at a school in San Antonio. The exibition was for Grand Master James Cummings Jr.. Grand Master Cummings was the grandfather of the style of Karate that Cheyenne practices and was one of the nicest, kindest, gentlest men that I have ever had the privlige of meeting. Cheyenne absolutely adored Grand Master Cummings and Grand Master Cummings had a special place in his heart for Cheyenne. The day after that exibition Grand Master Cummings passed away unexpectedly. A few days later Cheyenne was diagnosed.

Now the award: Cheyenne was presented "The Grand Master James Cummings Jr. Spirit Award for 2003". This is such an honor! To all the UMA Black Belts and students, Cheyenne says that she will live up to it. Thank you!

I know that I mentioned it last night, but it is such wonderful news I have to mention it again. If you have not visited Zachary's site in awhile, please check it out. Zach has been battling cancer for several years, and has been to many different doctors and hospitals with very little results. After only 9 months on Protocel, the scans come back "NO ACTIVE CANCER". Completely amazing!! And as expected, the doctors blow it off. Oh, well, we have seen it before.

Also there are still those children that are in need of prayer tonight: Nicholas, McKenzie, Jackson, Jake, and Isaac, just to mention a few. Then there is our newest caringbridge friend, Lyone (his website address is in the journal 2 days ago). His parents received really bad news from the doctors in Japan 2 days ago and is in need of prayers. Prayers are very powerful and these children are all so special.

Thank you all and God Bless you,

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, December 12, 2003 9:18 PM CST

******ONLY 2 DAYS OF CHEMO ON THIS ROUND******

**********14 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS**********

I would like to start today's journal by giving thanks to the LORD for Cheyenne's continued healing.

Cheyenne had another very good day today, with the exception of very minor stomach aches/pains this afternoon. Thank you GOD!

This morning Cheyenne was up early and off to school. We weren't early enough for her to make it to breakfast, but she still had the opportunity to hang out with her friends before class started. I am not sure what, if anything, the school did concerning Cheyenne's problems with a few of the students, but today there were no problems.

This afternoon was basketball practice. It was just a short while ago that the thought of Cheyenne playing basketball again was out of the question. Now, she is out there doing her thing, even while on chemo. She is quite the trooper!

Tomorrow Cheyenne and family are attending the UMA (Karate) Awards Banquet in San Antonio. In addition, several of Cheyenne's classmates and friends are testing for their Blackbelts tomorrow, so Cheyenne wants to be there to give them support. Cheyenne has been notified that she is the recipient of an award at the banquet, so she is pretty excited about it.

I have some really, really good news that I would like to share with you tonight in the event you do not already know.

First: Zachary Finestone (linked to Cheyenne's site) is one of Cheyenne's caringbridge friends and has been battling cancer for several years. You would just have to read his site to understand all this little boy and his family have been through. They are amazing people. Nine months ago Zachary started Protocel, as the doctors readily admitted that there was no cure for his disease and nothing they could do. Here it is nine months later, and DRUM ROLL PLEASE::::: Scans come back NO ACTIVE CANCER IN HIS LITTLE BODY!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO ZACH!!!!

Second: 2 days ago Kody was experiencing balance problems and headaches. Something that no parent of a child with a brain tumor ever wants to see or hear. Today, thanks to all the prayers and the good LORD, Kody is headache free and his balance is back. WAY TO GO KODY!!!!

Please continue to join me in offering Cheyenne and all her caringbridge friends, including the ones that we do not even know, up to the LORD in prayer. Our GOD is an AWESOME GOD. Through GOD, all things are possible.

I know that a few of the children are in need of prayer tonight: Nicholas, McKenzie, Jackson, Jake, and Isaac. Then there is our newest caringbridge friend, Lyone (his website address is in yesterday's journal). His parents received really bad news from the doctors in Japan last night. Prayers are very powerful and these children are all so special.

Thank you and God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, December 11, 2003 7:25 PM CST

******THREE MORE DAYS OF CHEMO******

******14 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS******

Thank you Lord for a beautiful day, if it is your will, please give us tomorrow.

Today was another very good day for my little pumpkin, Cheyenne. She was up exceptionally early this morning because she wanted to get to school early and eat breakfast. She said that they were having pancakes and sausage and she didn't want to miss it. Now, this is the little girl that normally gets up with an upset stomach!! Quite a change.

Today Cheyenne finished day 2 of this 5 day round of chemo. This is the 4th round (if you count the original 42 days as round 1). Only 6 more rounds to go!! WAHOO!!! She takes 130 mg of Temodar twice a day for 5 days, then takes a 28 day break. Thus far, she has just breezed through the chemo with very little problems.

Today in the mail Cheyenne received quite a surprise. A large basket, completely filled with every kind of fine candy you can think of (Savannah Sweets). Bear Claws, pralines, chocolates, fudge, and many, many more kinds too numerous to mention, everything with pecans. Cheyenne just absolutely, lovvvvves pecans. Oh, and when I say a big basket, I mean a BIG basket. This gift was courtesy of the Phillips family from Savannah, Ga. They are part of our Customs family (now Customs and Border Protection). Donna and I both work for what was formerly U.S. Customs, and we really are a big family. We have received so much caring and support from so many members of this fine organization. Thank you Ron, Melanie, Randall and Ryan. Oh, Cheyenne says it is quite okay to call her mom's girl!

Even though Cheyenne had an excellent day health wise, it was a little disheartening to hear of some of the things that happened to her while at school. Kids can be sooooo mean and ignorant. Due to this flu epidemic going around, and Cheyenne being suceptiable due to chemo, she has been wearing a face mask to school. It seems that many of the 6th, 7th, and 8 graders continually make fun of her, intentionally coughing on her throughout the day. If it were not exam week, she would not be going back to school until after the Christmas break. Don't they realize that Cheyenne could die from the flu??

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers, guestbook entries, and support for Cheyenne and all the other children. Cheyenne is healthy and normal even though medical science say cure is not possible. Our little girl is truly a miracle in progress. Thank you God.

Also, when you say your prayers tonight, please remember McKenzie, Nicholas and their families. Both of these wonderful children have been referred to Hospice as St Jude has said they can do no more. We are praying that new procedures or protocols will be found that can help our friends. God Bless you Nicholas and McKenzie. Keep up the fight!

Additionally, We just met another friend, little 4 year old Lyone, who is also battling a brain tumor. Lyone and his family live in Japan and are having difficulty getting the same medications as Cheyenne since it is not available there. If you get a chance to visit his site, it is http://lyone.typepad.com/ . He is a really cute little guy that needs our prayers.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, December 10, 2003 7:19 PM CST

******1 DAY DOWN, 4 MORE TO GO IN CHEMO ROUND #4******

********15 MORE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS*********

Cheyenne had another really good day today. No complaints all day. And, today was her first day of the 4th round of chemo. Cheyenne is a strange duck. When she is on Chemo, she very seldom gets sick to her stomach.

Cheyenne feels so well tonight, she is running around the house talking in a strange voice, and acting really goofy. Tonight she is a little stink!!!!! I just love it!! I don't know, but I think we are spoiling her a little!!

The flu is really horrible around this part of Texas this year, and we are scared to death that Cheyenne is going to catch it. We asked her to wear a face mask to school for the past couple of days, and she does take it. We are just not certain is she actually wears it at school. I know that a face mask is not too awfully fashionable, but we hope she wears it anyway.

Thank you all for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. We know that Kody, McKenzie, Nicholas, and Jake and their families are in need tonight. So if you can, please remember them in your prayers.

Thank you and God Bles you.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, December 9, 2003 8:38 PM CST

Hello all.

Not much really to report today, Cheyenne had a pretty good day, but did get sick at school right after lunch. But as usual, it passed fairly quickly.

I forgot to mention yesterday, DRUM ROLL PLEASE ,Cheyenne placed 4th in the District UIL competition in Oral Reading Saturday.

Cheyenne's mom came home from out of town today, so Cheyenne again has 2 people to spoil her. Tonight, as expected, the TV has not been off the Disney Channel all night.

Tonight, if you will, please offer a prayer for McKenzie and her family, Nicholas and his family, and Jackson and his family as they face the daily struggles.

Thank you all for all the caring, prayers, and guestbook entries for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, December 8, 2003 10:14 PM CST

Cheyenne had another fabulous day today, that makes two in a row. Since mom is still out of town, we were both up earlier than normal (to make time for all those mistakes that dads make trying to get little girls dressed for school). We were actually at school 5 minutes earlier than normal. We had our normal "solve the world's problems" talk on the way to school. I just love spending time with this girl!! She is such a sweetheart and realllly loves her dad!!

Since mom was out of town on business, I took off work at noon to come home to meet the satellite tv guy and be home for Cheyenne when she came home from school. We have never had cable or satellite tv at home since we live in the country. During her treatment in San Antonio, Cheyenne had become accustomed to watching the Disney Channel, soooo, I had promised to "someday" get it installed at home. When she came home today she discovered that "someday" had come. She now has 2 Disney Channels. Man, is she one happy little girl.

It was actually quite comical around here after the tv guy left. Our TV sits in a space up in the wall, and the TV feels as if it weighs around 250 lbs. We had a pretty good time putting it all up in the wall, AND, hooking it all up right. As it is right now, I BELIEVE it all works properly, satellite TV, network TV, DVD, and VCR. In any event, it is not going to be moved anytime soon.

After hooking everything up, Cheyenne and I drove a short 16 miles into town to pickup a pizza and soda. Then it was a short 16 mile hop back home and WALAAAH, we had pizza and a movie. Of course the pizza was cold by the time we got home, but we still had fun.

I am still concerned about Cheyenne's left eye, it seems to bother her more and more, but she insists that it has not gotten any worse. She complains of a kind of blind spot out of her left eye, and I have noticed that when she gets tired, it droops quite a bit. As she explains it, it has a blurry spot when she looks to the left, and when she gets tired, it will "blur out" on her and she will have to blink it a couple of times to get rid of the blur. I told her today that after her MRI in January, we may go to a specialist. When I explained that it could be anything from wearing a patch to surgery, she pulled the covers over her head. NOPE, she said, no surgery.

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers, guestbook signings, and words of encouragement for Cheyenne and all the other children. A lot of these children, Cheyenne included, reads almost all of her entries and is actually in awe that so many people care about her and her friends. And by the way, these caringbridge friends, they have become really close friends to Cheyenne. In tonight's prayers I was leading the prayers with Cheyenne and could only remember about 30 names of the children we routinely pray for, so I added at the end, "and the other children". Cheyenne quickly spoke up with the other names. She loves them as if they were her brothers and sisters.

Again, thank you, and please continue your prayers. We all have come quite a distance, but have an awfully long way to go. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, December 7, 2003 10:23 PM CST

This morning the first words out of Cheyenne's mouth were "My stomach really hurts". I expected a pretty rough day, but literally 2 minutes later, she was fine. The rest of the day was absolutely fantastic. All smiles, laughs and giggles.

This morning in church Cheyenne was an Acolyte. She loved it so much she is going to volunteer to do it even when she isn't on the schedule. Oh, I almost forgot, she is also in the Church Christmas Program this year as "Mary". She is really excited about that.

After church we went to a local restaraunt to eat and as we were leaving ran into Pastor Harry Mathews of the Glen Meadows Baptist Church. He was the recipient of a few hugs from Cheyenne. Glen Meadows is so lucky to have such a man as one of their Pastors. Thanks Harry for making Cheyenne feel so special!!

Today Cheyenne's mom had to go out of town on business, so it is only the 2 of us for a couple of days. Cheyenne said that she would take good care of me while mom is away.

This evening it was back to church for Confirmation class and we finally arrived back home around 8, with just enough time left to watch a movie.

Cheyenne is doing so well, I thank the Lord many, many times a day. She is truly a miracle. Thank you GOD!

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. And by the way, in case you haven't noticed, the prayers are working. It makes my day when I check on one of our caringbridge friends and read how they have gotten better, released from the hospital, have CLEAR scans, and so on. Please continue to remember Cheyenne and the other children in your prayers.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, December 6, 2003 7:13 PM CST

Today was one busy day, trying to make schedules, and drive all over creation.

This morning Cheyenne woke up feeling wonderful, and we had her on the 7am schoolbus enroute to Miles, TX for the UIL District competition. We joined her at around 9 and her Oral Reading started at around 10. She had a really funny story this year about a pet snake named "Rover". Of course, we had forgotten the exact address of today's Make A Wish Christmas Party, so I had to drive back home to get it (45 minutes each way)! While I was gone Cheyenne placed in the top 6, so we stayed for the finals starting at 1:30pm. We left immediately after the reading, so we aren't sure of where she placed in the finals.

We finally made it to the Make A Wish Christmas Party (sponsored by the Wells Fargo National Bank) at around 2:15 (it started at 1 and ended at 3). There we saw many friends and made a few new ones. Cheyenne even sat on Santa's lap for a photo opportunity. This year Santa gave Cheyenne a Mickey Mouse telephone, radio, and alarm clock. Now, how did he know that she wanted that????? Cheyenne also made away with several stuffed animals (I believe her collection is nearing 100 now) and a truck load of helium filled balloons.

Following the Christmas party, we were on the road again enroute to Cheyenne's niece's birthday party (McKayla). It started at 12 and we arrived at around 4 (a little late, but what the hey). Cheyenne had a really fun time playing with the girls (McKayla, Maddie, and Becca). I noticed that Cheyenne and little Maddie hung out alot, laughing and playing.

Oh, and in last night's journal, I mentioned that there was something I was forgetting, it was basketball practice. It was sometime in between everything else, so we missed it. But I understand that we are going to have practices on Friday and Saturday's, so Cheyenne will have lots of time to practice and have fun. If I haven't mentioned it lately, Cheyenne's basketball coach, Coach Slate, is known as the world's best basketball coach!!!!

We are finally home, and Cheyenne has gone to bed early. Would you believe, she has a self imposed 7:30 or 8 bedtime. It all started when she first started chemo and got really tired. I believe that she liked it so much, she just continued.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are such an awesome healing power. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, December 5, 2003 9:45 PM CST

Thank you Lord for today, and if it is your will, please give us tomorrow.

I understand that while I was out of town for work, our little miracle girl had a pretty good two days. She did start off feeling sick and even vomiting this morning, but it passed quickly, and she was off to school. Tonight she has been drawing pictures to give as gifts to a few people for Christmas, and is having a lot of fun doing it.

Tomorrow is a big day. Cheyenne is leaving from school at 7am to compete in UIL Oral Reading. The problem is, if she places in the morning, she has to compete again at 1:30pm. The Wells Fargo Bank is sponsoring a Christmas Party for the Make A Wish children tomorrow at 1pm. So we may have a little conflict. And then if that was not enough, our granddaughter is having her birthday party tomorrow at 12n. I also believe that there is something else that I am forgetting, but, I am sure I will remember it eventually.

I want to thank everyone for all the wonderful prayers for my baby Cheyenne and all the other children. Tonight when you say your prayers, please remember to Praise GOD amd Thank God for how well Cheyenne is doing and the recent reports that David and Kody has received. David received the results of his MRI on his brain, and it was CLEAR and NORMAL. Kody had his eyes checked, and he is now 20/20. Thank you GOD.

There are still a few of our caringbridge friends that are in need of prayers. Jackson, Chris, Celeste, Nicholas, McKenzie and Jake are all in need right now, as are their parents. Then there are soooo many other children in desperate need. I only list a few so as to not overburden everyone, but childhood cancer is so horrible and there are sooo many children out there with cancer and other life threatening diseases. I also pray for a cure for cancer everyday, so someday, a parent will not have to go through what we all are facing.

Again, thank you all and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, December 5, 2003 9:29 PM CST

Thank you Lord for today, and if it is your will, please give us tomorrow.

I understand that while I was out of town for work, our little miracle girl had a pretty good two days. She did start off feeling sick and even vomiting this morning, but it passed quickly, and she was off to school. Tonight she has been drawing pictures to give as gifts to a few people for Christmas, and is having a lot of fun doing it.

Tomorrow is a big day. Cheyenne is leaving from school at 7am to compete in UIL Oral Reading. The problem is, if she places in the morning, she has to compete again at 1:30pm. The Wells Fargo Bank is sponsoring a Christmas Party for the Make A Wish children tomorrow at 1pm. So we may have a little conflict. And then if that was not enough, our granddaughter is having her birthday party tomorrow at 12n. I also believe that there is something else that I am forgetting, but, I am sure I will remember it eventually.

I want to thank everyone for all the wonderful prayers for my baby Cheyenne and all the other children. Tonight when you say your prayers, please remember to Praise GOD amd Thank God for how well Cheyenne is doing and the recent reports that David and Kody has received. David received the results of his MRI on his brain, and it was CLEAR and NORMAL. Kody had his eyes checked, and he is now 20/20. Thank you GOD.

There are still a few of our caringbridge friends that are in need of prayers. Jackson, Chris, Celeste, and Nicholas are all in need right now, as are their parents. Then there are soooo many other children in desperate need. I only list a few so as to not overburden everyone, but childhood cancer is so horrible and there are sooo many children out there with cancer and other life threatening diseases. I also pray for a cure for cancer everyday, so someday, a parent will not have to go through what we all are facing.

Again, thank you all and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, December 3, 2003 9:55 PM CST

THANK YOU LORD FOR TODAY, AND IF IS YOUR WILL, PLEASE GIVE US TOMORROW.

This morning started off a little rough on Cheyenne, with her feeling sick to her stomach. She refused to take a Zofran, and felt pretty good by the time we arrived at school. I understand she had a good day at school, which is wonderful.

This evening, Cheyenne and her mother went to Church for Advent Service. Cheyenne assisted in serving the meal to the congregation and had a blast doing it. She just loves doing things like that.

Tonight both Cheyenne and I feel a little under the weather, hopefully, we are just tired and not coming down with something. The flu is really bad in this area as it is in a few other states right now.

Tonight I will be praising and thanking the Lord for answered prayers. We have been praying really hard for several of our caringbridge friends, and tonight I am pleased to announce that Maxie is home out of the hospital, Fisher is home out of the hospital, and Mitchell's MRI came back "CLEAR". WOW, CLEAR is such a wonderful word.

We still have a few children and their families that are going through a rough time, so please remember McKenzie, Jake, Nicholas and their families in your prayers. These are all such special children and families. Also, remember Isaac and his family in your prayers. Isaac had a Dr appointment today and an MRI coming up about the time of Cheyenne's, around the first of the year. I remember the depression we went through the first month or so after Cheyenne's diagnosis. I know what Isaac's family is experiencing. The prayers and support from all of you lifted us from the depths of depression and the Lord has been with us every since. Thank you so very much for the prayers for us, Cheyenne, and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, December 2, 2003 9:21 PM CST

Tuesday, December 2, 2003 7:35 PM CST

Thank you GOD for a beautiful day, if it is your will, please give us tomorrow.

Today was another very good, feel good day for Cheyenne. Neither one of us wanted to get up this morning, but we are a couple of sleepy heads. But we were able to force ourselves out of bed and made it to school and work in plenty of time.

Cheyenne had another good day in school and said she learned a lot and was able to take yet another makeup test. I believe that there is only one more to go. WAHOO! One thing about school that is scaring me right now, there is a flu epidemic around here, and I understand that it a strain that was not included in the flu shot that Cheyenne and everyone else received. We do not need the flu in the house right now. We start Cheyenne's next round of chemo in a few days and can't afford to have anyone sick around here.

Tonight Cheyenne is making a special coloring that we are going to scan and use on our Christmas cards this year. She is a pretty good artist.

Tonight, as every night, I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Cheyenne is doing absolutely fantastic and we credit it to all the wonderful prayers. Thank you GOD!! There are quite a few children out there, several linked to Cheyenne's site, that are not doing real well right now and need of prayers. Please join me in offering them up to the Lord in prayer. I know tonight that Nicholas and his family are in desperate need of prayers, as are McKenzie and her parents, Jake and his parents, Fisher and his parents and Maxie and his family. Again, Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, December 2, 2003 7:35 PM CST

Today was another very good, feel good day for Cheyenne. Neither one of us wanted to get up this morning, but we are a couple of sleepy heads. But we were able to force ourselves out of bed and made it to school and work in plenty of time.

Cheyenne had another good day in school and said she learned a lot and was able to take yet another makeup test. I believe that there is only one more to go. WAHOO! One thing about school that is scaring me right now, there is a flu epidemic around here, and I understand that it a strain that was not included in the flu shot that Cheyenne and everyone else received. We do not need the flu in the house right now. We start Cheyenne's next round of chemo in a few days and can't afford to have anyone sick around here.

Tonight Cheyenne is making a special coloring that we are going to scan and use on our Christmas cards this year. She is a pretty good artist.

Tonight, as every night, I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Cheyenne is doing absolutely fantastic and we credit it to all the wonderful prayers. Thank you GOD!! There are quite a few children out there, several linked to Cheyenne's site, that are not doing real well right now and need of prayers. Please join me in offering them up to the Lord in prayer. Again, Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, December 1, 2003 7:48 PM CST

Cheyenne had a very good day today. We were up early and off to school even earlier than usual. That gave Dad and Cheyenne time to talk and solve the world"s problems all the way to school. Cheyenne had a good day at school, still making up a few of the tests that she had missed earlier, and according to her, doing very well on them.

When I came home from work today, the 4 wheeler was parked at the front door, so I am guessing that she did riding today. She never gets over 10 mph, but has a blast just riding around, up and down the driveway (our driveway is approximately 1/4 mile long).

Tonight after dark, it was again dominoe time. She beat both mom and me several times. I will admit, at one point I was thinking about letting her beat me, but as it turns out, I didn't have to. She is good.

It is almost bed time, and Cheyenne is going strong. If you didn't know about her diagnosis, you would not know anything was wrong with her. She is healthy, bright and chipper. No sickness to her stomach today at all. We do start her next round of chemo fairly quickly. I am not sure of the date without looking it up (I am getting old and forgetful) but I believe it is the 10th. Anyway, we haven't received the Temodar via mail yet. Hopefully it will arrive soon.

I want to thank everyone for all their prayers and support for Cheyenne, all the other children, and us parents. I know of a couple of children diagnosed with this tumor that are not doing real well right now, so please offer these children up to the Lord in prayer. Of course, anytime any of our caringbridge children suffer, it hits us pretty hard and our emotions sometimes run amok. So we could probably use a prayer or two to trust in the Lord, remain faithful, and give us peace. Thank you.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, November 30, 2003 7:07 PM CST

For the 2nd time this week, Cheyenne started the day by feeling sick to her stomach, but had a wonderful time the rest of the day.

At church this morning Cheyenne surprised mom and dad. It seems that last Sunday she submitted a prayer request for her caringbridge friends, and rather than just saying "caringbridge friends", she listed them out by name. This morning in church during the prayers the pastor read each and every one of them by name. This made Cheyenne smile. Cheyenne is so good about praying for her friends, she is such a caring person.

After church the family drove out to Eola to visit my parents. While there, Cheyenne's Grandpa taught her how to play dominoes. Chey now just loves dominoes. As I write this, her and her mom are playing. Well, I wonder who is going to win this one. Cheyenne no doubt. She really picked it up quick and is hard to beat.

Tomorrow it is back to work for mom and dad and school for Diana and Cheyenne. UGHHHH Only 5 more days until a weekend.

Thank you for all your prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I understand that Maxie was admitted into the hospital a few hours ago and is in need of prayers. Also, there are a couple of Cheyenne's caringbridge friends that are not doing real well, so please pray for all these children suffering these horrible diseases. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, November 29, 2003 9:29 PM CST

Thank you God, for my children, family and friends. Thank you for today, and if it is your will, give us tomorrow.

This morning, Cheyenne was up early and spent several hours helping her mom decorate the Christmas tree. We have a new artificial tree this year, and it looks really good.

Today turned into a "work outside day for me" trying to catch up on some of the things that have gotten out of hand during all of our trips out of town. Cheyenne just spent the day inside with her mom and sister.

Right now her mom is putting her to bed, and she is laughing like crazy over something. That really makes me feel good to see her smile and laugh.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Our GOD is an AWESOME GOD. GOD bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, November 28, 2003 9:26 PM CST

Thank you God, for my children, family and friends. Thank you for today, and if it is your will, give us tomorrow.

The last two days were very good days for my pumpkin, Cheyenne. Of course yesterday, Thanksgiving, was a big day. Cheyenne helped her mom cook and clean leading up to yesterday, and had a ball doing it. She even made her own cherry pie (how about that Kody). And I might add, it was beautiful, and very tasty. We did Thanksgiving the way it should be done, with a house full of family and friends, and lots and lots of food, conversation, love, and caring. Cheyenne spent the day with her 2 nieces, McKayla and Maddie, and Becca, playing inside and outside all day long. Of course a good time was spent on her brother Christopher's 4 wheeler, with her and Becca traveling about 50 miles up and down the driveway. We were able to get lots and lots of photos, which hopefully we will get around to posting someday. And did I mention all the food. At last count we still have 6 deserts leftover, and lots of deepfried turkey and chicken, as well as all the trimmings. So if anyone is up for a turkey sandwich, just give us a call.

Last night after everyone left, we all just sat around and enjoyed each other's company. Cheyenne pulled out the board games which kept us busy for a couple of hours. Then at about the time that I normally enter the nightly journal, Cheyenne was sitting in my lap watching TV and talking. I was not about to give that up to enter the journal, so no journal last night. Sorry, but I bet you can understand.

Today while I was at work, Cheyenne and her mom got in some Christmas shopping (I wouldn't have gone shopping today for $100. Too many people.) Then following that, Cheyenne's sister, Diana, took her to a movie. They saw "Elf". I really wanted to see it too, but I guess I can wait for the rental.

Tonight, we put up the Christmas tree. Only 3 ornaments so far, but the tree is up and the lights are shining. These three ornaments are special to us, all picked up a Disney World. They are Micky and Minnie Mouse and the Genie. For those that aren't familiar with the Genie from the Disney movie, "Aladdin", Disney reserves it for their Make A Wish children rather than sell it on caps, tshirts, etc.

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I really can't express in words how important they are and how much they mean to the families. This journey that we are taking is a rollcoaster. Every single day we have our emotional lows and highs, our children's disease is never out of our minds. Yes, we put up a facade, a false upbeat face, we go about our work, but the fear and emotions are still there. That is our life now. If not for our faith in God, and friends and family such as you, it would be impossible to bear.

A few members of my caringbridge family are not doing real well right now, and I know the feelings that they are experiencing. Please continue to pray for these children and their families. Thank you and God bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, November 26, 2003 8:53 PM CST

******HAPPY THANKSGIVING******

This, our first Thanksgiving since Cheyenne's diagnosis, has a very special meaning to our family.

In years past, Thanksgiving was a holiday, a day off from work, a day for the family to gather, a day to eat all the foods one normally associates with Thanksgiving, and to some extent, express our thanks for the past year.

This Thanksgiving we have changed. We now know more clearly what is important in life, and now have a clearer view of all the things that we have to be thankful for. The list is never ending, but the past 4 months has certainly moved certain aspects of our life up the scale of importance. Yes of course we are thankful for our jobs, our home, our cars, and all the other material things that we tend to gather, however, we are truly thankful to God for life itself, our beautiful and wonderful children and grandchildren, family, and friends, new and old. We have discovered that the material things really do not matter. What matters is the love shared in a family, generosity, faith in God, friendliness and kindess to others. Everything else certainly takes a backseat.

Our little family has certainly been blessed by God and has so much to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving. Some may question that, due to Cheyenne's sickness. However, we are so blessed and thankful for having this wonderful child the last 12 years and we are so blessed and thankful for the way she is responding to treatment. We have met so many wonderful people across the world that have come to our aid and offer us their support and caring. We have met many wonderful new friends who are taking this same journey as our family. Our faith in God has increased 1,000 fold. We are thankful.

May your Thanksgiving be a blessed one. If you have time, reflect on all the blessings you have received this past year, and give thanks to the one responsible, our Lord.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, November 25, 2003 8:18 PM CST

Cheyenne's day started this morning with a Zofran. I really don't understand why the nausea keeps coming back. We will go a few days to even a week or so, then it always comes back. It actually seems to go away a week or so before the doctor's appointment, then returns afterwards.

Cheyenne said that after the Zofran, she had a pretty good day in school and only felt bad for a few minutes. I hate it when my baby girl goes through this..

After school, Cheyenne felt pretty good, and she and her sister spent over an hour outside laughing, having fun, and riding her brother's 4 wheeler.

Tonight, Cheyenne has a pretty good headache and is complaining of her eyes hurting her, but refused to take anything for it. Hopefully it will pass quickly.

Several of Cheyenne's caringbridge friends have MRI's, scans, and tests coming up within the next few days. Please remember Jake, David, Jackson, Zachary, and Mitch in your prayers during this time. Also, thank God for the wonderful news of Celeste's stable MRI, Nicholas' very successful surgery and now being home, and Kody now home without fever. Thank you GOD.

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, November 24, 2003 9:05 PM CST

We just arrived back home from the Doctor's appointment in San Antonio. There were no surprises during the appointment. Her blood counts were excellent and as we knew, she has no noticable tumor symptoms. Due to Cheyenne having some eye damage from previous tumor pressure, we sometimes worry when she looks at things sideways, similar to how she did at diagnosis. The difference between then and now, is that at diagnosis she saw double, now she has difficulty seeing out of the corner of her left eye, and therefore turns her head when looking to the left. When her double vision went away during radiation, she was left with this problem.

Cheyenne had a wonderful lunch date today. We were able to meet the "girls" from the San Antonio office. Cheyenne just loves being one of the "girls" and they treat her so well. Thank you Haydee, Karen, and Carmen. When we left the restaurant enroute to the Doctor's appointment, Cheyenne was singing, giggling and having a blast all the way. Also at the restaurant we ran into one of my co-workers that I haven't seen since Cheyenne's diagnosis, whom, I might add, is on our daily prayer list. By total conincidence, Justice McCalley went to the same restaurant to eat. Justice was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer just a couple of weeks before Cheyenne was diagnosed with her tumor.

Well I had better close for tonight. Cheyenne is already in bed, she has school and I have work tomorrow. I also have to check my caringbridge children and say hello to several.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers and words of encouragment for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, November 23, 2003 10:13 PM CST

Hello everyone

We made it to San Antonio for the Doctor's appointment tomorrow. We don't anticipate anything other than blood counts and a short examination. Possibly we may get a firm date on the next MRI, but we believe it to be around January 1st.

Cheyenne asked that I tell everyone hello and to thank everyone for all the prayers for her and her friends. Many of her friends are having MRI's or tests coming up in the next few days to a couple of weeks and I know what the parents are going through right now. All the "what if's" come up during the wait. Also Kody is still in the hospital, but with all the prayers that have been going his way, he was doing really well earlier this evening. Hopefully, he will be home tomorrow.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers, guestbook entries, thoughts, and cards. We will update on the appointment as soon as we get home. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, November 22, 2003 9:25 PM CST

Today was another really good day for Cheyenne. There were very few minutes of feeling sick, which is a good thing. She was able to sleep in until after 9 this morning, and Cheyenne really likes her rest now that the chemo takes its toll. One thing about it, there is never an argument about going to bed.

This afternoon the family took Cheyenne to the movies to see Luther. Her church group had all seen it a few weeks ago, but Cheyenne was sick and missed it, so this was a makeup for her. After the movie we did something that some may consider a little unusual, but it was really fun. We visited several stores, with Cheyenne having her notebook in hand, looking at potential Christmas presents. We came away with a list of things that Cheyenne claimed to really want for Christmas. Of course the list was reallllly long. Before getting home, she noticed how long the list was and already started cutting it down to just a few things. She wanted to do this so we "wouldn't waste our money on something that she really didn't want", Ha.. I noticed that the list was conspiculously missing clothes. That is a pretty good hint.

Tomorrow, right after church we are off to San Antonio for her Doctor's appointment monday. If all goes well and we have time, Cheyenne wants to meet with several ladies that I work with in San Antonio. She considers herself one of the "girls" and just loves to visit them or even go to lunch with them.

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. There are so many children and their families out there that benefit so much from your prayers and guestbook entries. I am so very thankful to you, words cannot express my feelings and appreciation. They mean so much to those in need, and there are sooo many in need. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, November 21, 2003 11:00 PM CST

******THE WEEKEND IS HERE*****

*******WE LOOOOOVE WEEKENDS*******

Today Cheyenne tried a Zofran free day, and although it was not as smooth as she would have liked, she says that all in all she had a good fun filled (and learning filled) day at school. Cheyenne told me that there were a couple of times during the day when she felt pretty sick to her stomach, but decided to stick it out and stay in school.

After school, Cheyenne did a little riding on her brother's 4 wheeler. Man she does love riding that thing..We may have to get her a small one some day.

Also today I mentioned to Cheyenne that I had talked to Carmen in San Antonio and she was invited to go to lunch with the "girls" again. If any of you are reading this, we may call you Monday...Cheyenne loves to be one of the girls...

While I think of it I should mention that in the event we don't update the journal in a day or so, our computer crashed last night. I was finally able to get it up and running during lunch today, but it was not a permanent fix, so I don't know how long before it decides to crater again.

Tomorrow I am not sure what we will be doing. Mom and Diana want to take Cheyenne to a movie, and her brother Christopher wants to take her fishing. We'll have to wait and see who wins out. Sunday we are leaving again, enroute to San Antonio for a routine visit with Cheyenne's oncologist, blood counts, etc..

Tonight while checking some of my caringbridge friend's sites, I noticed that several of the children that we have been praying for had our prayers answered. So I am busy thanking and praising GOD for the wonderful MRI that Fisher had, Maxie's great MRI, and for Kody's fever finally breaking today. Thank you GOD!! Prayer is such an AWESOME thing.

At the same time, I am asking for you to help me lift up a few other children to the Lord in prayer over the next few days and weeks. Of course there is still Kody, who has a few more tests to try to find out what is going on and really needs to get out of that hospital, Jackson with some tests to be scheduled shortly, Nicolas having a shunt replacement, Celeste's MRI coming up real quickly, and Big Jake. Big Jake is one of my heros, as is his mother. They have survived this horrible tumor and help so, so many people that are going through what they went through earlier. It has been awhile since Jake had an MRI, so Susan has scheduled one for around Thanksgiving. It is just horrible for a parent waiting for an MRI or test on their child. So, please remember the parents in your prayers as well. As I am sure you can understand, it is not an easy task for a parent of a child with cancer to get through the day acting normal, much less when your mind is on upcoming doctor's appointments, MRI's, tests, etc.. We all need you prayers.

Well enough for one night. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the kind thoughts, guestbook entries, cards, letters, and prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.

God Bless you all
Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, November 20, 2003 8:09 PM CST

Hello everyone

I am sure you noticed the new photo on the main page of Cheyenne with her Kody Bear. Kody gave that to Cheyenne when we were in Florida on her Make A Wish trip and it we put the photo up to bring a smile to our man Kody's face. Kody was transferred from the local hospital today to Shands when they could not get control of his temperature. So, if you get a chance, he could use prayers tonight.

Today Cheyenne had another really good day. We are still giving her a Zofran in the morning which seems to get her through all day. She still tires really, really easy, and is ready for bed by 7 or 8, but in between she smiles and laughs alot. We really didn't do anything after I got off work like I expected. Instead we all just sat around enjoying each others company, ate a good meal and watched some television (after doing about another hour of makeup homework).

Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!! WE LOVE WEEKENDS!!!! Although this weekend is already shaping up to be pretty busy. Cheyenne's doctor's appointment is scheduled for Monday afternoon which means that we need to travel on Sunday. Nothing major is planned for this appointment, just a routine checkup an blood counts. Her next MRI probably won't be until around the 1st of the year.

Several of our caringbridge friends are in need of prayers tonight. David, Fisher, and Celeste are all having MRI's in the not to distant future, Jackson is undergoing some more tests as soon as another appointment can be arranged, and Nicholas will be having a shunt replacement to help reduce the swelling from surgery. And of course, I mentioned Kody Bear earlier in Shands. All these children along with many, many other children not specifically mentioned here, are in our constant thoughts and prayers.

Thank you to all of you for all your prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, November 19, 2003 9:04 PM CST

Today was another pretty normal, good day for Cheyenne. First thing this morning, she did feel a little sick, so we gave her a zofran before heading off to school. The rest of the day she felt pretty good, and said that she was not really that tired. But of course, at around 7pm her eyes were really drooping and she was ready for bed. Chemo really takes it out of you.

This evening after getting off work, Cheyenne had me crawl on the back of her brother's 4 wheeler so she could give me rides up and down the driveway. She absolutely loves riding that thing. She is not allowed to put it in a gear higher than 3rd, to prevent her from going too fast and doing something crazy. The few minutes of riding gave her a huge smile that stayed with her until bedtime.

I just came from my man Kody's site, and if you haven't checked, he was put in the hospital today for high fever and headaches. So if you have a little time, be sure and send a little love and a lot of prayers his way. Also, Nicholas will be going into the hospital in a few days for a shunt replacement and could use some encouragement and prayers. Celeste is having her MRI on friday, and these times are super nervous times for parents, so if you can let Tami know that you are thinking and praying for Celeste.

Thank you all so very much for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God continues to bless us all so very much. A lot of times we fall into the trap of always asking for things in prayer, and forgetting all that we should be thankful for. I am so very thankful for my family, my children, Cheyenne, friends; actually the list is endless. Remember to praise and thank God every chance you get for all the blessings we receive every single day. He is an AWESOME GOD!

God Bless you all
Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, November 18, 2003 9:19 PM CST

Today was a really, really good day for Cheyenne. We didn't do much out of the ordinary, but just before bed Cheyenne was still singing and dancing around the house feeling good. That makes dad feel good.

Today after school, Cheyenne and dad continued in our attempt to "catch up" on school work that she missed during the Make A Wish trip. HURRAH, tonight we actually finished the Math!!!!! I discovered that Cheyenne is pretty much of a natural at math. She catches on real fast and remembers it. Now, we still have 1 paper to write, 1 book to read, and a few more chapter lessons in other subjects..

While checking on a few of our caringbridge friends, I noticed that Nicolas is still experiencing some swelling and Celeste is having an MRI friday. So if you would, when you say your prayers tonight for Cheyenne and the other children, say a little extra prayer for Nicolas and Celeste.

Thank you all and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, November 17, 2003 10:03 PM CST

Today was a pretty good day for Cheyenne. She attended school, caught up on a little of her school work that she has missed, and had a good time. By the time that this evening rolled around, this last round of chemo was beginning to show. Just like last time, she makes it through the chemo days ok, then afterwards, she goes downhill a little for a few days. By 7pm she was one little pooped trooper and ready for bed. Also her stomach was bothering her a little for about 20 minutes. So it was "Zofran and sit on mom's lap" time for awhile. While she was sitting on mom's lap, they started going through the 1,000 or so photos that we took on the Make A Wish trip to Disney. We have some FANTASTIC photos. Hopefully, we will get a few more photos posted pretty quick. We can only put them in the "Photo Album" area of the site, not the "More Photos" site, since our son does that section for us. Also, Donna has been trying to upload a new main photo for the page, but Caringbridge is not cooperating.

Oh, I forgot to mention this a few days ago. Cheyenne tried out for Oral Reading competition at school and placed 1st. That means that she has advanced to the next level and will be competing again shortly. She is sooo cute when she reads the stories, with her facial expressions, hand movements and all.

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. GOD is AWESOME, GOD is GOOD!!

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, November 16, 2003 9:46 PM CST

*****ROUND 3 OF CHEMO IS HISTORY*****

Cheyenne really breezed through this round, no complaints, and very few sick moments. Actually, I think she had more nausea before taking the chemo than during it. We are hoping that whatever was causing the nausea last week is a thing of the past and we have nothing but good things to come.

This morning the family attended church, followed by lunch and then a little shopping. Cheyenne is a girl after my heart. She doesn't really like shopping. If only we could get her sister Diana to follow suit.

This afternoon Cheyenne again went to her friend James' house where her and several of her friends had a great time all afternoon.

Tonight it was homework, homework, homework. That is the bad part of missing school. It all has to be made up at some point.

Tomorrow it is back to the old grind. Cheyenne to school and Donna and I back to work. Weekends are sure nice.

Today I linked a new friend's site to Cheyenne's. Isaac is one of our newer caringbridge friends who is battling this same tumor. I remember how rough it was in the beginning prior to receiving all the prayers, so if you get a chance, drop over and tell them hello and let them know that you are thinking of them and praying for them.

I want to thank everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are so AWESOME. They lift a person out of dispair during those horrible times and keep us going during those other times.

Bod Bless you all.
Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, November 15, 2003 11:24 PM CST

Cheyenne had a GREAT day today. Cheyenne and I both slept a little late, but I guess we needed it. Cheyenne was still smiling about the fun she had at the dance last night.

This afternoon, James called, and Cheyenne spent the afternoon and evening at James' house just hanging out with friends and having fun. I understand that they filled several balloons with helium, attached notes, and let them go. It will be interesting to see if anyone finds them and calls or writes.

In today's mail, Cheyenne received a big surpise. Her friend Maddie sent a box with all kinds of goodies, to include a paper mache mask of her face. Way too Cool. I believe Cheyenne is going to hang it on her wall. For those that don't know, Cheyenne and Maddie are part of the 2nd generation of survivors of this horrible tumor (Of course Big Jake being the 1st generation survivor). Maddie and her family has been so much help to us during this struggle. Even though we have yet to meet (we will definately someday), they are family. God Bless you guys!!

Oh, I forgot to mention something a day or so ago. Cheyenne brought home her report card and I have to do a little bragging. She brought home a 100, 95, 90, 87, and an 82. Is that not awesome!!!!She has one incomplete in history, but will be taking the test she missed shortly. Not bad for all the school she has missed and all the days she goes to school feeling yukky.

I want to thank everyone for all the wonderful prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, November 14, 2003 11:55 PM CST

*****ONLY 2 MORE DAYS OF CHEMO LEFT ON THIS ROUND*****

Today Cheyenne was her normal smiling, laughing self, with very few complaints of nausea. What complaints she did have quickly passed. She had a wonderful day at school, only to be tarnished by Dad later in the afternoon. Earlier today I talked to Cheyenne's oncologist about the flu that is currently going around San Angelo and he suggested to have her inoculated against the flu as soon as possible. So when Cheyenne stepped off the bus today, smiling and anticipating the dance tonight, her mom drove her to the clinic for a shot that Dad had arranged. When they returned, Dad got a few evil looks, but nothing serious.

At 7 tonight, Cheyenne went to her first school dance and had an absoulute fantastic time. James gave her a beautiful wrist corsage to wear and it even matched her outfit. Cheyenne danced and hopped around all night having a blast. Mom got some really good photos. Since it was her first dance, even big sis Diana came along to help chaperone. I believe Diana had as much fun as we did just watching. Those two are great sisters, and even though there is a 7 year age difference, great friends.

Even though the dance was over at 1030, we did not get home until close to midnight and Cheyenne was tired, but still smiling.

Cheyenne's daily occurances of nausea have seemed to increase lately, so I spoke to her radiologist in San Antonio today. He confirmed that on occassion, radiation of the area around the brainstem can irritate the nerve that controls nausea. Unfortunately, he has no idea if the irritation is permanent or temporary. He suggested a visit to a neurologist if it does not diminish with time.

Cheyenne finished her 3rd day of chemo today (130mg of Temodar twice a day). After this round, only 7 more to go. I can't get over the fact that she felt worse before the chemo than now. She is handling it very well. Our next doctors appointment is not until the 24th, so we really won't know about blood counts until then. If they are anything like in the past, the effects on her counts will be minimal.

I have no idea what is planned for tomorrow, but I am sure that Cheyenne and family will find something fun to do in between the normal weekly chores. We have learned to cherish each and every day and always make time for the kids.

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, November 13, 2003 8:04 PM CST

Today was an EXCELLENT Cheyenne day. For once in the past several days, the upset stomach took a day off. Cheyenne was again bright eyed and happy to be going to school this morning and says that she had an excellent day in school.

Our ride to school this morning was again wonderful. It may seem strange to some that something that most people consider insignificant now means so much to us. Our twenty minute ride each morning gives us the opportunity to laugh, giggle, and solve all our problems.

Today we finished the 2nd day of the 3rd round of chemo (Temodar). Only 3 more days to go before her 28 day break. We learned last time that she doesn't really feel it until about day 6. So we are holding our breath and praying for an easy round this time. Also, just like the last round, there is a horrible flu bug going around San Angelo. With Cheyenne's blood counts most likely decreasing around day 5 or 6, the odds of her catching something are much stronger. Tomorrow I plan to call her oncologist to see if we should take her in for a flu shot.

Well, tomorrow is going to be a BIG day for Cheyenne. She is going to her FIRST EVER dance. This is a Junior High dance at school, and the only other dance she has been to is the annual Daddy-Daughter dance with me. She is pretty excited. And of course, Donna and I are helping chaparone.

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Also, the guestbook entries directed at Donna and me during the stressful times really help. Thanks

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, November 12, 2003 10:19 PM CST

***HOME IS GREAT, BUT IT STILL ISN'T DISNEY WORLD***

Cheyenne woke up this morning and immedately became sick to her stomach. However, that was the worse for the day. About 1 minute afterwards, she was walking around the house humming, smiling, and her eyes were shiny bright.

Today was the first day of her 3rd round of chemo and so far it is going well. After yesterday, I was really worried about my little girl. When I saw her this morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed, it made my day.

I take Cheyenne to school each day and it is about a 20 minute ride. We solve the worlds problems during this time. This morning she told me about how she prays for her caringbridge friends at school during the "moment of silence". We have so many that we pray for here at home, I thought that she would have a hard time remembering all their names, but she really surprised me. Not only does she remember all their names, but throws in a prayer for all the ones that she does not know or has not yet met. She is one sweet little girl.

I started worrying about her again while I was at work today, so about the time she got home from school (Donna gets off work early each day to meet her) I called home to check on her. Donna answered the phone and I could hear Cheyenne singing her heart out in the background. That little girl sure has spunk. Even with the chemo today, she felt wonderful.

At this point we really don't know what caused her bad day yesterday or the few days prior. It could have been something going around, Protocel lysing, damage from previous radiation, we just don't know. But today she had a wonderful day. By looking at her you would never know she was sick. Days like today are GREAT.

Thank you everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, November 11, 2003 6:39 PM CST

Our first day back home, and Cheyenne did not feel well at all today. Normally, her sick to her stomach times, occur only once or twice a day and quickly go away. Today, she seemed to be sick more than feeling well. It would have been her first day back in school in awhile, but she did not feel like going today. Her bright moments today were when her brother Christopher came over and taught her how to ride his 4 wheeler. She loved it, and after about 10 minutes was riding around by herself like a pro. She even gave mom and dad rides. As we were walking in from putting it up for the day, Cheyenne said, "Sweet Dreams Tonight".

It means so very much to me to see her smile and be happy. God has blessed us so very much with such a wonderful family, and for all the time that we have had with each other. But my human traits make me selfish, I want so much more time with my children. Cancer is not fair. These little children have not had an opportunity to do so much in this world, and here they are battling this horrible disease.

I guess you can tell my feelings today. After checking on our caringbridge children last night and finding that we had lost Harris, and then the other children that are not doing real well right now, I became really depressed. Then to have my baby have a bad day just made it worse. Everytime Cheyenne has a headache, everytime she gets sick to her stomach, everytime she has a strange ache or pain, the fear comes rushing back. We truly have to live one day at a time, no more, no less.

God, our Father in Heaven, please grant us peace, grant us your mercy, your healing, and please grant us this miracle that we pray for many, many times a day. Be with these children, with their parents and family. Also give us the wisdom to Praise you and Thank you for all our blessings. Amen

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, November 10, 2003 10:32 PM CST

WE ARE HOME!!!

WHAT A SPECIAL MAGICAL TIME WE HAD!! IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE THAT ONE LITTLE GIRL COULD HAVE SO MUCH FUN IN SUCH A SHORT TIME.

THANK YOU MAKE A WISH AND GIVE KIDS THE WORLD. YOU ARE FABULOUS ORGANIZATIONS.

As predicted, on Sunday Cheyenne was ready to head to the coast. She had never seen the ocean, much less swam or played in the ocean. It was a short hop over to Coco Beach, where, the weather didn't really cooperate, but that didn't slow Cheyenne down. I really don't know what it is about water, but Cheyenne NEVER feels bad when she is in the water. Even though we had a few days lately where she was feeling pretty bad at times, as soon as she laid eyes on the water, she was all smiles and full of energy. We played in the sand, made a sand castle, ran up and down the beach, picked up sea shells, and played and played in the surf. A front had come through so it was a little chilly, the wind was really blowing, and the surf was up. That just made it more fun for Cheyenne. After spending all afternoon and most of the evening at the beach, we finally talked her into heading back to the hotel outside of Orlando. As soon as we arrived, wouldn't you know it, Cheyenne wanted to jump in the pool. It was so cold outside, I finally talked her into just going into the hot tub. It is really amazing, throughout this entire ordeal, the swimming pool has been Cheyenne's relief from stress and sickness. Even during radiation and her heavy chemo periods, we knew that a little time in the pool would make all her cares and sickness just go away. She is our sweet little sea monkey.

This morning we just spent the time packing and doing a little last minute shopping and boarded our first flight at 3:30pm, finally arriving back in San Angelo at 7:30. Cheyenne was giddy when, upon arriving home, her older brother Christopher was waiting on her to give her a big hug. Also, Christopher had dropped off his 4 wheeler for Cheyenne to ride over the next few days. I guess there are going to be a few safety talks around here before that happens.

Sometime tomorrow Donna hopes to get a few photos loaded from the trip (Mom is the photo person in the family). We have so much computer work to do and to catch up on. We haven't even had time to check on any of our Caringbridge families over the past few days.

I just learned that Harris became an angel the day before we left for Cheyenne's trip. Please offer a special prayer for his family during this extremely difficult time. I had only become aquainted with Harris and his mom, Jan, a month or so ago. Harris was one of those special children and I routinely visited his site when I needed to feel good. He had such a wonderful outlook on life and such a sense of humor, I often laughed out loud upon reading his mom's entries. Even though I have never met you in person, I will miss you little man.

Also, I understand that Nicholas has been having a rough time lately, so please remember him in your prayers. He is another one of these wonderful children you just fall in love with.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Tonight, if you would, also thank and praise GOD for giving us Cheyenne for the past 12 years and for giving her the vacation of a lifetime that built memories that will never fade. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, November 8, 2003 7:44 PM CST

I will try to keep tonights journal short and sweet, since I am not on my own computer tonight, but a borrowed one. Since getting to Orlando yesterday, the hotel has the most horrible telephone lines, and the computer keeps dropping the connection. Finally, to get my internet fix, the night manager from our hotel called across the street and I am now in the night manager's office on her computer at a sister hotel.

Yesterday, Cheyenne did not feel all that well when we awoke, so we put off heading down the coast to the Keys. When she started feeling better, she decided she wanted to visit Gator Land. Boy, do they have BIG Alligators there. We spent about 1/2 the day there watching the shows and feeding the alligators before deciding on getting a hotel here around Orlando and forgoing the long trip to the Keys to visit our friends, the Robinsons.

After getting in the hotel here, and Cheyenne was able to get into the swimming pool, she felt fantastic. She is such a water rat and just loves swimming. It makes all her cares just go away.

This morning Cheyenne decided to go back to Universal Studios, so off we went for another full day. Unfortunately, Cheyenne had her moments today. All in all, she became sick to her stomach about every four hours, then it would pass. She never actually threw up, but came close several times, even with Zofran in her.

We spent the entire day at The Island Adventure portion of Universal Studios. Cheyenne rode every ride at least once, some several times. Even though she had her sick moments, she had a wonderful time. Then toward the end of the day,we had a special tour of the park. As Cheyenne was getting off the Hulk ride, she and her mom witnessed a couple of teenagers assault the Hulk character. So before long, we were at the Security Station writing witness statements. When we finished, the Park's Security had arranged for Cheyenne to have some one on one time with many of Universal characters. GREAT photo opportunity. Then one of the park supervisors took us on a tour of the "behind the scenes action" of the park and arranged for a few more photo opps. It was great for Cheyenne. Now poor Hulk, wound up with bruises all about his head and face, so not so great for him.

After all the excitement, we decided to grab a bite at The Hard Rock Cafe before heading back to the hotel. BAD IDEA. By the time we finished eating it was after dark, around 630pm. Well, today was the Orlando Beer Festival being held at the Universal Studios City Walk. Well, if any Universal Studios people are reading this, BAD IDEA!!! Not real conducive to a family with children. Thousands of drunks everywhere. Then on top of that, the beer tents were set up between the parks and the exits. How is a person supposed to leave the park with 30 thousand drunks between you and the exit????

About this time, Cheyenne was experiencing one of her sick times, so it was really a chore to get her out of there and to the car. We finally made it back to the hotel at around 830 or 9pm.

I believe tomorrow, we may take Cheyenne to the closest beach, and just let her chill for the whole day. She has been going and going like the energizer bunny for 7 or 8 days now and needs a little slow time.

In the event I don't update for a few days, you know the reason, with the computer problem and all.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

We will have lots and lots of photos in a few days.

HEY KODY, CHEYENNE JUST LOVES THE KODY BEAR!!!!!! SHE WON'T LET IT OUT OF HER SIGHT.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, November 6, 2003 8:45 PM CST

Today turned into a really special day for Cheyenne and family.

This morning we were up early and after making one more round through the Give Kids The World Village, cleaned up the villa and checked out. The morning was taken up by doing a little shopping, and changing out rental vehicles from the Make A Wish vehicle to one in our name. By the way, for those of you in West Texas, it probably rained another 3 hours on us today. And I mean rain where you could barely see to drive.

This afternoon we loaded up our rental vehicle and took a little trip to Leesburg, Fl where we met with the coolest family in Florida. That's right, we spent the afternoon and evening with the one and only, the very famous (or is it infamous), KODY BEAR!! (I just realized that I forgot to get his autograph.) And of course, we had the distinct pleasure of finally meeting and sharing several hours with Karl, Kim, Kolin, Kyle, and Kaysha as well. They are a special family that provides so much support to so many other caringbridge families, while at the same time suffering through this beast of a tumor in our hero, Kody. Cheyenne, Kody, and Kaysha hit it off immediately, instantly becoming best friends. Now, they all want to live near each other. I believe Cheyenne had as much fun tonight with Kody, Kaysha and Kolin as she did on any of her previous days at the amusement parks. And by the way, for those who have not personally met Kody, he is even cuter, smarter, and cooler in person. We are already talking about the next time we can get together, either here or in Texas. In the meantime, Cheyenne has her very own Kody Bear. When they met today, Kody gave Cheyenne a big brown teddy bear with a "Kody Bear" tag around the neck. As we were leaving tonight, the hugs were free flowing. Karl, Kim, Kyle, Kaysha, Kody, and Kolin, we already miss you all..Stay healthy!!

I am not sure exactly what is planned for tomorrow, there is soooo much to do and soooo very little time to do it. Most likely, weather permitting, we will spend most of tomorrow back at Universal Studios. Of all the parks, our favorites are definately Magic Kingdom and Universal Studios. Of course, we may be a little prejudiced, as both of these parks treated Cheyenne like a princess, whereas the other parks were just so so.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers have an AWESOME healing power. Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, November 5, 2003 10:08 PM CST

***STILL IN FLORIDA AND HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME***

Today saw Cheyenne up early, humming, dancing, singing, and smiling ear to ear. We started off a little rough when Cheyenne, for no particular reason, became sick to her stomach before breakfast. But it quickly faded and she was her bubbly, happy self.

After riding horses this morning at GKTW Village (Have I mentioned how GREAT a place this is!!!), Cheyenne decided to give Universal Studios a whirl. We didn't get there until afternoon, and then it rained for 3 hours, but Cheyenne was "singing in the rain" (literally). I don't believe I have ever seen her so happy. It makes mom and I feel good. Her older sister, Diana, is soooo wonderful with Cheyenne. They skip around holding hands, Diana taking her on any ride she wants, just having a blast. Due to the short timeframe and the rain, we stayed on the Studios side of the park rather than Islands of Adventure. There are some REALLY COOL things to do there. There is no way I can remember them all, but a few were Back to the Future, Terminator, Jimmy Neutron, Jaws, Men in Black, Twister, and Earthquake rides/3D shows. The park closed at 6pm, so we left with Cheyenne being a little disappointed. As she put it, this is the first time since being here that she felt great and wasn't tired at the end of the day, and we were leaving. To make up for it, we spoke to the very nice people at GKTW village, and they were more than happy to come up with tickets for another trip to Universal Studios. So in a couple of days, it will be a return trip.

Tomorrow, we are checking out of GKTW village and traveling a few miles away to visit "KODY" and his family. WOW!! Kody and Jake are 2 of Cheyenne's heros. If we are lucky, we might even get to see Jake and his family before heading back to Texas.

I have to say this again, when they refer to Disney and Universal Studios as "Magical", they are dead on the money. The way that the people at the Magic Kingdom and Universal Studios treat these Make A Wish and Give Kids the World children is totally AWESOME. I am going to have to do some severe letter writing when we get home to let these people know how fantastic they all are.

Well, it is late, Cheyenne is already asleep, so I had better also go to bed. I apologize again for not loading photos from the trip yet, but the modem connections out here are HORRIBLE. I even tried to upload a Disney background theme for this site tonight, but finally gave up.

Thank you all for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I understand that McKenzie had low blood counts from her Temodar and is in need of prayers tonight. Also, we are praising the Lord for Ashley's good surgery report today, and asking for continued healing of this sweet little girl. All of these children are so precious and need to be kept in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, November 4, 2003 9:41 PM CST

THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL PLACE FOR CHILDREN!!!CHEYENNE IS FEELING GREAT AND HAVING AN ABSOLUTE BLAST!!!

Cheyenne is having so much fun, she now wants to move to Florida. Ha, she is really jealous, because she is the only sibling in our family that did not live in Florida.

Also, sorry, still no photos. I had such a hard time with the photo software that is on this computer, then the modem usually runs at 24k download speed, and from what I can tell, probably about 10k upload speed. I tried again last night, but I will now just wait until we get back. I was downloading photos from the camera to the computer this evening, and it appears as if we have taken a little over 500 digital photos, and over 100 35mm photos so far. We would have had many more, but the flash card filled up early today and we had left the additional flash card at GKTW Village.

Today Cheyenne chose MGM Disney Park. On the way to the park this morning she was singing out out, Disney tunes of course. She did not have as much fun at MGM as she did at The Magic Kingdom, but it was still a fabulous time.

At one point today she conned her dad pretty good. On the Aerosmith roller coaster, I chose not to get on. Because if any of you know anything about what has happened to me on previous rides, you would understand. Well, after Cheyenne, her mom, and sister finished the ride, Cheyenne just begged me to go. She insisted that "it was not that bad". So, it her trip, so I gave in. As we were waiting in line near the ride, I watched it take off from a dead stop to about Mach 4 in about one thousandth of a second. I looked at her, she smiled that coy little smile, and said, "it doesn't take off that fast". I tried to tell her that I just saw it, but she just smiled. A few minutes later we were buckling ourselves in, and she looked over at me with that smile and said, "Oh, by the way, it might go unside down, but just one time." She screamed and laughed at me during the whole ride..

This evening, rather than go to Medieval Times, we wound up going to the Pirates Dinner Theater. That show was fantastic. Cheyenne was able to participate as both a pirate and as a good guy. She had lots and lots of fun, and was sworn in as Pirate. We didn't get back to the Village until after 10pm. It was an entire day.

I was supposed to call some of our caringbridge friends, Susan and Jake, and Kim and Kody today, but it was too late by the time we got in. We really hope to be able to get up with them while here, even if it is for a few minutes.

I'm not sure what tomorrow holds, but it looks like it is shaping up to be pretty much of another magical day. Riding horses at GKTW early in the am, and then most likely Universal Studios or Sea World.

Cheyenne says hello to everyone.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, November 3, 2003 7:12 PM CST

WOW, the fun around this place just never ends. Cheyenne had ANOTHER GREAT day today.

At 8am this morning the GKTW had arranged for Mickey and Minnie Mouse to be here for a photo session. So Cheyenne took even more photos with them here. They brought a few of their friends with them, and as a result, Cheyenne now has all of the Disney character's autographs on her special Disney ballcap. They treated her like a princess.

After the photo session, Cheyenne decided she wanted to go to Animal Kingdom today, so off we went. We spent the entire day at Animal Kingdom, doing the Safari, all the rides, and all the sites. She had a blast, AGAIN!! The park closed at 5pm today, but that gave us an opportunity to make it back to the GKTW Village to attend a swim party this evening.

The GKTW Village is such a wonderful place. So many people volunteer out here. Retired people, working people, college kids, high school kids, they all volunteer and work everyday. I forgot to mention, this morning Cheyenne made her wish on her very own Wish Star and placed it in a special place for a fairy to put it up tonight with fairy dust. This star has her name and anything else she wanted to write on it, and is made with a mirrored finish. One of the special buildings at GKTW Village has ever star of every child that has visited here installed on the ceiling. They showed us where Cheyenne's would be for future visits.

I am not yet sure what Cheyenne has decided to do tomorrow, but I believe it will be another Disney park, maybe MGM.

Cheyenne is still doing fantastic, loving every single second of her wish.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. These kids are special and the prayers really make a big difference. Again, Thank you and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, November 2, 2003 9:30 PM CST

TODAY WAS A GREAT, FUN, TERRIFIC, FABULOUS DAY FOR CHEYENNE AND FAMILY.

This morning we were up early, and Cheyenne decided on spending the day at Magic Kingdom. We arrived there right after opening and stayed until closing at 7pm. The weather was perfect and the park not that crowded most of the day.

With Cheyenne's special GKTW button and the Disney Make A Wish ballcap, she was treated like royalty at most of the rides. It was all her day. Whatever Cheyenne wanted to do, Cheyenne did. Just because she asked, even Dad rode some CRAZY rides. Like what is with this Space Mountain. That is CRAZY!!!

All in all, Mom, Dad, Diana, and Cheyenne rode most of the rides at Magic Kingdom. I believe Cheyenne wants to go back tomorrow or the next day and hit the ones she missed today. Also, Cheyenne really made out getting autographs from the Disney Characters. She is having them sign her Disney Make A Wish ballcap, and as of tonight, is only missing a couple of signatures. At one place, one of the Disney crew noticed her ballcap, and in conversation asked what characters she was missing. Within a few minutes, Cheyenne was called into the back room and there were 7 or 8 Disney Characters for Cheyenne to meet one on one. These people are awfully nice.

We are not sure exactly what tomorrow holds for us, as Cheyenne hasn't completely made up her mind yet. But I believe it will probably be one of the Disney parks. MGM, Animal Kingdom, Epcot, or back to Magic Kingdom, or made a combination of them. With the passes we have, we can visit all, some, or a combination. We also have passes to Universal Studios and Sea World, and can get passes to just about anything within a 100 mile radius. Also, either tomorrow or the next day, Cheyenne wants to make an evening of it at Medieval Times. That should be fun.

Oh, by the way, I spent almost an hour tonight trying to upload a few photos from today, but with Cheyenne's laptop running on a dialup modem at about 26k, I didn't have much luck. Maybe I will try again tomorrow.

Thank you to everyone for checking in on Cheyenne, for all the Awesome prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Cheyenne is doing just wonderfully. She has amazed her doctors and is continuing to improve every day. For all of those people that claim to have never witnessed a miracle, Cheyenne is truly a miracle in progress. Thank you GOD.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, November 1, 2003 8:22 PM CST

!!!!!WE ARE IN FLORIDA!!!!!

So much has happened already, and we haven't even visited Disney yet.

This morning we were up early and at the airport by 5am for the 6am flight to Florida. Memories are already being made. Shonda and James of MAW were at the airport for the sendoff. Also, the best basketball coach in the world, Coach Jeanie Slate and Christine were there to see Cheyenne off. As we were taxiing out of the terminal, an Airport Fire/Rescue truck sprayed a rainbow of water over the plane as a send off. It was Great. Cheyenne was smiling ear from ear.

After a short trip, we landed in Orlando, Fl at around 1pm. As we deboarded the plane, there was a nice gentleman by the name of Ted Rosen, a volunteer for Give Kids the World, waving a big sign with Cheyenne's name on it. Talk about coincidence, Ted is a retired U.S. Customs Inspector, and of course, I am a Customs Agent. We actually both knew several of the same war stories from the old days. Arrangements were already made, so Ted helped us get our luggage, and within 15 minutes we were on our way to the Give Kids the World Village in a brand new rental van.

Thirty minutes later, we were making ourselves at home in a 2 bedroom, 2 bath villa in the GKTW village. Stocked fridge, tickets to just about ever attraction within 100 miles, the works. This is soooo AWESOME. The GKTW village is, in itself, a fantastic place. It is like a dream world for children. Games, rides, movies, food, unbelieveable. We spent the rest of the evening playing putt putt golf, riding the carousel (for you Fischer), playing games, eating, and having a blast. Tomorrow Cheyenne wants to start using some of the many tickets we were given to all the Disney parks, Universal Studios, SeaWorld, etc..She was a little tired and fell asleep by 8pm tonight, but considering the getting up at 4 am, and the one hour time difference, she did GREAT.

This entire experience with Make A Wish, Give Kids The World, Disney, and all the other businesses that make this happen, is unbelievable. This, of course, does not cost us a cent. MAW even provides money for food, fun, and miscellanceous. And, most of these people are volunteers. Here at GKTW, I was told that an average of 800 volunteers work each week to give the kids this wonderful treatment.

MORE FUN AND PHOTOS TO FOLLOW.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers, cards, guestbook entries, and support for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, October 31, 2003 10:33 PM CST

******HAPPY HALLOWEEN******

Well, I was pretty close to right. Here it is 7 hours before getting on the plane for Disney World, and WE ARE NOT THROUGH PACKING!!! I am sure that we will be thorough by 4:30am, in time to leave to go to the airport!!HA.

Cheyenne had a GREAT day today, just anticipating the trip. This afternoon, Shonda Brooks and James Wood, Cheyenn's 2 Make A Wish volunteers, came over. They had a beautiful cake, lots of goodies and gifts and all the trip info and packets. They sure are nice people, an Make A Wish is such a wonderful organization. After they left, Chris, Leslie and little McKayla and Maddie came over for a short visit.

I haven't seen Cheyenne smile this much in a while. It is GREAT..

We hope to be able to update from Disney, so, the next journal we write should be after spending half a day having fun and being crazy..

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, October 30, 2003 9:13 PM CST

!!!!!!!1 MORE DAY UNTIL DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!

Wow, just think, in just a matter of hours, Cheyenne will be wandering around Disney World, having a blast. Make A Wish is so WONDERFUL.

Cheyenne had a good day today, although she still gets very tired early. By 7pm she was falling asleep on the couch. I can imagine how tired she is going to get doing all that walking at Disney. I am packing my ibuprofen and celebrex for my walking!!!

We had hoped to be about half ready, partially packed etc. by tonight, but no such luck. I don't see any way in the world that we will be ready to go by early Saturday morning. And I guess, if the flight is at 6am, we will have to get there by 5am, which means getting up at....I don't even want to think about it. I never get to bed until 1 or 2 each morning..By Saturday's I generally give myself a treat and sleep in until 8 or 830 (or until Cheyenne pulls me out of bed).

Thank you everyone for the constant prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. They are all so special. None of them or their parents asked for this life, but these kids are such champs. They can teach us adults quite a lot about what is important in life.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, October 29, 2003 11:00 PM CST

******2 MORE DAYS UNTIL DISNEY WORLD*******

***THANK YOU MAKE A WISH*****

I don't know if Cheyenne can wait that long.

Today Cheyenne had a normal little girl day, went to school most of the day, came home and had LOTS of homework. We hoped to start packing a little tonight and deciding on exactly what she wants to do on the first couple of days at Disney World, but too many other things to do.

A few of you might have noticed how I have not been mentioning the little lamb that Cheyenne was nursing back to health. Well, that was intentional. But since so many people ask, I can't hide it, the little thing was too premature and did not make it. Cheyenne actually was able to get it to stand, walk, and get up with help. She fed it many times a day, but something internally would just not allow proper digestion. Since then another ewe has had twins and they are VERY healthy. So, Cheyenne spends time with them every day. We really don't live on a farm. We have only 20 acres at the house, but the sheep and donkey are left over from when we did ranch on my parents property a few years ago. A drought set in, and we were forced to sell everything, except a few "pet" sheep, which we still have. Can't sell them, as many were orphaned as lambs and we raised them on bottles. They are just like big dogs, follow you around and such.

Thank you to every one for all the prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. They are very special children. If you haven't visited their sites, check them out and leave a little note that you were there. They are some really sweet children and some very great parents. We are so blessed to have gotten to know them.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, October 28, 2003 10:08 PM CST

Cheyenne finally made it back to school today after missing a few days last week from being sick and Monday for an out of town Doctor's appointment. So after getting off work this afternoon, it was homework help for Cheyenne for several hours. Whew, it wasn't his hard when I was a kid.

Cheyenne is still not 100but is getting better each day. She still tires very easily. Hopefully, by Saturday, that will be over, as she is Disney World bound!!!! The Make A Wish Foundation is such a wonderful organization. And the volunteers are fabulous.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayers are an AWESOME thing, and they work. Please continue!!

There are a few of our friends that are in need of extra prayers over the next few days and weeks:

Baby Phoenix, that I mentioned a few days ago, on a Phase I trial for a very rare disorder. I spoke to his grandfather tonight, and Phoenix is doing very well, but
is still in need of a miracle.

Ashley is undergoing surgery again on Nov 5th. This sweet little girl just got out of the hospital from the last surgery.

Nicholas will be undergoing surgery tomorrow in the afternoon to install a shunt to hopefully allow drainage to reduce swelling from his recent surgery.

McKenzie, experiencing some symptoms of tumor regrowth

Thank you LORD for all the blessings in our life. Please continue to bless and keep us and watch over these wonderful children. They are all in need of miracles, of which only You can supply.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, October 27, 2003 10:53 PM CST

*****6 MORE DAYS UNTIL DISNEY WORLD*****

*****I DON'T KNOW IF CHEYENNE CAN WAIT THAT LONG*****

Today was a long day for all of us but we arrived back home from San Antonio a little while ago. The Doctor's appointment today went fine. Dr. Estrada is still extremely happy with Cheyenne's progress. Today her blood counts were excellent, although she is still a little tired from the last round of chemo (Temodar) and probably whatever bug she had last week. We scheduled Cheyenne's next round of chemo to begin on November 12th, and since she is doing so well, our next doctor's appointment in San Antonio will not be until November 22nd.

The next few days promise to be extremely busy. There is so much to do around the house to prepare for the upcoming Make A Wish trip to Disney World. Fortunately, and thanks to the Air Force for transferring Christopher and his family here to help, our son's will be here to watch out for the house, feed our animals, and keep things up.

We have been so blessed with all of the wonderful people praying for Cheyenne. The prayers are working!! She is doing amazingly well, and I have said it before, but it is worth saying again, Cheyenne is truly a Miracle in Progress.

I understand that a few of our Caringbridge friends are in need of a few extra prayers over the next few days and weeks. Ashley and McKenzie appear to have had some regrowth in their tumors, Nicholas' swelling has still not diminished, and Jessie is having some problems which may or may not be cancer related. Please remember these sweet children and their families in your prayers. And at the same time, Praise the Lord for all the wonderful news on many of the other children, whose cancers appear to be in remission and their tumors regressing or remaining stable.

Thank you all and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, October 26, 2003 8:23 PM CST

******6 MORE DAYS UNTIL DISNEY WORLD******

***Also Mom loaded a FEW NEW PHOTOS***

After a late night last night, we were all up early this morning and off to San Antonio by 7am. Today Cheyenne attended the American Cancer Society Halloween costume party for all the cancer kids in San Antonio. The event was held at the Saint Anthony Hotel in downtown San Antonio where the kids basically took over the entire bottom floor. There were soooo many children at the party. Way too many children in this world have cancer.

Cheyenne went as a hula dancer, and had a great time. She saw her favorite nurse, Nurse Sue, as well as Dr Estrada.

Tomorrow Cheyenne has a doctor's appointment at 2pm, and then if all is well, we will be heading back home in the evening. Cheyenne has felt fairly well since yesterday evening, so hopefully the bug that had her down for a few days is now gone. We will have her counts taken tomorrow and will know how she is holding up to the chemo.

Also, for all of you in San Angelo, by the time we arrived in San Antonio, the cold and wet weather that we left there arrived here. It is MISERABLE. I can already tell that by the time winter arrives, I will not be having fun.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers, guestbook entries, emails, cards and support for Cheyenne and all the other wonderful children in need. Tonight please remember to say an extra prayer for Ashley, McKenzie, Jessie, and Nicholas.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, October 26, 2003 0:30 AM CDT

*****7 MORE DAYS TO DISNEY WORLD*****

Here it is 1230am and I am just sitting down to write Cheyenne's journal. I haven't even had time to check on all my caringbridge children today. It was a busy one.

This morning Cheyenne jumped out of bed at 7:30am feeling much better than the last few days. Her and her mom had volunteered at church to help with the Church Bazaar so, they were off to church. Cheyenne had so much fun she refused to stop when her time was up. She was an ASSISTANT at the White Elephant sale. She also wanted to attend Karate class around noon, but she appeared a little beat. so I chose for her to conserve a little of that energy for tonight.

But the big story tonight is the CONCERT!! The Fiveash family and several thousand other people braved the coldest night of the year (39 degrees with a 20 mph wind) to go to the biggest concert of the year in San Angelo. Cheyenne started off a little shy, afraid to hardly speak to anyone but quickly warmed up, especially to Jeff Williams of the Copperhead Band. Before long Cheyenne was getting and giving hugs to all the band members, getting signed autographs on her Copperhead and Cross Canadian Ragweed ball caps, and lots of photos. Jeff, who I believe is the nicest person I have ever met, even took Cheyenne backstage during the concert. Also, he made it a point to check on Cheyenne every few minutes, introduce her to EVERYBODY personally, and make sure she had a great time. All in all, Cheyenne hugged every member of the Copperhead Band, every member of the Cross Canadian Ragweed Band, and even Johnny Bush. And for those who have not heard of these bands, keep listening, they are breaking into the business in a big way. (Of course everyone has heard of Johnny Bush). Johnny Bush tried to get Cheyenne to go onto stage, but stage fright set in and there was no way she would go out there. Wow, these are some memories.

Thank you so very much Jeff. Cheyenne will never forget her first ever concert. You are a very special person.

I had better cut it short tonight as tomorrow is an extremely early day. We have to be on the road absolutely no later than 7am in order to make it to the Cancer Kids Halloween Costume Party tomorrow in San Antonio.

I want to thank everyone for all their prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Tonight if you would, please also say a prayer for 2 other families that are experiencing difficulties tonight. The Hyde family at the passing of Janice's father, and Tess Baker at the loss of her husband today. The Hyde's and Tess have both been there for us throughout Cheyenne's ordeal. They are wonderful people.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, October 24, 2003 8:50 PM CDT

*****ONE MORE DAY UNTIL CONCERT*****
**CROSS CANADIAN RAGWEED - COPPERHEAD BAND - JOHNNY BUSH**

*****SEVEN MORE DAYS UNTIL DISNEY WORLD*****

Cheyenne was still a sick little girl this morning. She was too sick to go to school, running a low grade fever and sick to her stomach. Hopefully whatever bug she has will quickly pass. Fortunately, even though she is sick, she still has her good moments throughout the day.

Most of today was spent feeling fairly bad, but around 6pm she caught her breath and ventured outside to enjoy herself. She was able to ride her horse (Blackjack) for a few minutes bareback. At one point she must have been feeling fairly good, as she took off chasing the chickens on foot. For those who have not read about the chickens before; We do not have chickens! However, apparently someone in the community does, and they spend their time at our horsebarn making a mess.

Tomorrow was scheduled to be a very busy day. At this point I am not sure how much Cheyenne can do, but I do know that she wants to and intends on doing everything tomorrow. Early in the morning she wanted to help at the Church Bizarre sale, around noon she wanted to go to Karate, then later in the evening she wanted to attend the concert and hopefully meet the band members. Then we were to get up very early in the morning Sunday, and head to San Antonio to attend the Cancer Kids Halloween Costume party at 11am. Even if she were not feeling poorly, it would be tough to handle all of that activity. I guess we will see how she is in the morning. She adds another meaning to "tough". She may be "tough", but she is still my little pumpkin.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I read on Jessie's site where she was having some very good days, and attributed them to all of you praying for her. I have said it before, but it deserves repeating many, many times. Our God is an Awesome God, and prayer is so very powerful.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, October 23, 2003 9:51 PM CDT

Cheyenne had another day in which she was running a low grade fever and just feeling horrible all over. Her mom stayed home from work and Cheyenne did not make it to school. We are now assuming that Cheyenne picked up something, since there is a lot of flu going around in San Angelo. The only good thing about it, is that an ibuprofen generally keeps her temperature within reason.

Only 2 more days until the Cross Canadian Ragweed, Johnny Bush, and Copperhead Band Concert. Cheyenne is really excited, so she has to get better real soon.

1!!!!ONLY 8 MORE DAYS UNTIL DISNEY WORLD!!!!!! Yesterday Cheyenne received a packet from Disney World with lots of information and a really neat cap and stickers which will give her VIP status. She is going to have soooooo much fun. Also, we are planning to stay a few days longer and make it a point to visit some friends in Florida and show Cheyenne where we used to live. (Miami, Broward County, and the Keys).

Thank you everyone for all the continued prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. Tonight, please say an extra prayer for McKenzie, Jessie, Nicholas, and Maxie. Also, a very good friend's father in law just passed away today, so please remember Jack, Janice, and Josh in your prayers as well.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, October 22, 2003 7:48 PM CDT

*****ONLY 10 MORE DAYS*****
*****MAKE A WISH TRIP TO DISNEY WORLD*****

Although Cheyenne wasn't her bubbly self today, she still felt well enough to go to school. We actually suggested that she not go today, but she wouldn't have any part of that. She enjoys school too much. Today was also the first day without Zofran for nausea since this chemo round. She did fine all day, so hopefully, her nausea from that round is over.

After school, she was really tired and around 6pm started runing a low grade fever again. As long as the fever stays below 101 we aren't going to worry. As it approached 101 earlier, the ibuprofen took over and it is steadily declining. Hopefully we will have a good night.

Only a few more days until the Cross Canadian Ragweed, Copperhead Band, and Johnny Bush Concert. Cheyenne is sooo excited.

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. These children and their parents have struggled so very hard to get this far and have a lot further to go. God Bless you all,

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, October 21, 2003 8:34 PM CDT

*****CHEYENNE'S MAKE A WISH TRIP TO DISNEY WORLD*****
*****NOVEMBER 1 THRU 6*****

This morning Cheyenne woke up with an upset stomach, but a Zofran took care of it, so she was off to School. She hates missing school. Tomorrow we are going to try a no Zofran day to see how it goes. We pray that she will do fine.

This afternoon, after school, it was mostly just a hang around each other day. She still tires fairly easily, so we limit our fun to cards, short walks, and just enjoying being around each other. Tonight at 8pm, she was ready for bed. Of course this is not the normal active little girl that she normally is. I am sure it is the chemo effect. From what I understand, her energy should start picking up within a day or so since it has now been 2 full days since the end of the last chemo schedule.

I HAVE to brag on Cheyenne a little here. Today was report card day from school. Now considering she missed the first several weeks, and several days thereafter, this is an AMAZING report card. Of the 6 classes, her averages are 101.75, 95, 81.5, 84, 80.2, and a 76.4. WOW, WAY TO GO CHEYENNE!!!!!!

Only 4 more days until the Concert. Cheyenne is soooo excited. She is hoping to meet some of the guys from Copperhead Band, Cross Canadian Ragweed, and Johnny Bush. Jeff from Copperhead is so nice, he emails Cheyenne ever few days reminding her of the concert and that just makes her that much more anxious and excited.

Tonight, like every night, Cheyenne requests that if you have time, please visit some of her caringbridge friends and leave them a guestbook entry to know that you care. These children are so very special. Also tonight, when you are saying your prayers for Cheyenne and the other children, please say an extra prayer for the following children:

Sweet little Ashley who has an MRI scheduled this friday at 10am.

McKenzie, a beautiful girl who experienced some increase in tumor size at her last MRI.

Our smiling sweetheart, Jessie, who is waiting to determine if recently discovered areas are cancerous or only infection.

And of course, my buddy Nicholas, who is recuperating from an episode that left without the full function of his arm.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, October 20, 2003 9:24 PM CDT

*****CHEYENNE'S MAKE A WISH TRIP TO DISNEY WORLD*****
*****NOVEMBER 1 THROUGH 6*****

This morning found Cheyenne a little under the weather. We don't know if this last round of chemo that was finished yesterday finally took it's toll, or she caught some form of a bug going around. In any event, this morning she had quite an upset stomach which Zofran didn't take care of immediately. So it was no school for her and no work for me.

A little after noon, she began to feel normal again, so she began her busy day. Her brother, Christopher, came over with Mckayla and Cheyenne enjoyed babysitting. Later in the afternoon Cheyenne tried to ride her horse, Blackjack, but as luck would have it, he had a stone bruised hoof and was limping a little. Cheyenne rode him around bareback for about 10 minutes and then let him rest.

Around 5:30 when Cheyenne was talking about going to Karate, she again started feeling a little bad with a headache, minor fever (100.5), and again stomach aches. So there was no karate for her tonight. As she was headed to bed a few minutes ago, she seemed to be back to her joking and laughing self. We sure do have fun together.

Shonda, Cheyenne's Make A Wish volunteer called tonight. We had asked if we could fly back from Florida at a later date so we could visit friends without taking time out of Disney World. She thinks that there should be no problem and is looking into it.

This next two weeks are really shaping up to be busy, exciting weeks. This Saturday is the Cross Canadian Ragweed, Johnny Bush, and Copperhead Band Concert at the River Stage here in San Angelo. Jeff from Copperhead invited Cheyenne and she is really excited about going. We tried to get the tickets today, but Blaines was closed (Blaines sells the tickets). Maybe tomorrow. Then the next day, Sunday, is the Cancer Kids Halloween Costume Party in San Antonio. Cheyenne tells me she is going as a Hula Dancer. Then the next day, Monday, is Cheyenne's appointment with Dr. Estrada, her Oncologist. Then of course, later in the week is DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!

Every night I have to thank all the wonderful people that are praying for Cheyenne's continued healing, as well as all those other beautiful children. God has blessed this family so very much. Again, Thank you and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, October 19, 2003 9:28 PM CDT

*****CHEYENNE'S MAKE A WISH TRIP TO DISNEY WORLD*****
*****NOVEMBER 1 THROUGH 6*****

*****THIS ROUND OF CHEMO IS HISTORY*****
*****28 DAYS OF REST AND RELAXATION*****

Today, like most Sunday's, was a church day. It was Sunday School, late Church Service, and then back in the evening for Sunday night Confirmation classes. In between we were able to squeeze in a few other trips and visits.

My father's 84th birthday is tuesday, so we made a point of going out and visiting my mom and dad for a few hours. Christopher and his family were also there so it was a very nice visit. Cheyenne was able to babysit/play with her nieces (McKayla and Madison) and had a blast.

We have a new addition to the Fiveash family, which is creating a lot of work for Cheyenne and me. We have several sheep in the pasture at the house, and one of them had a lamb yesterday. Well, the lamb appears to have been premature, and not fully developed. It could not get up, stand, or even use it's rear legs. But it is still real cute, so Cheyenne wants to pull out all stops to save it. We have spent several hours working with it and hand feeding it with a bottle. As of tonight, it can stand on its own, use its rear legs, but can't walk for more than 3 or 4 feet and can't get up when it falls. So, it appears as if we have a little more work to do. I am afraid that it may not make it, but Cheyenne says it will.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers lifted up to the Lord for Cheyenne and all the other children. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, October 18, 2003 11:49 PM CDT

*****CHEYENNE'S MAKE A WISH TRIP TO DISNEY WORLD*****
*****NOVEMBER 1 THROUGH 6*****

*****ONLY 1 MORE DAYS OF CHEMO LEFT ON THIS SCHEDULE*****

With only 1 more day of chemo left on this schedule, Cheyenne is handling it like the trooper that she is. She has times of nausea and times of feeling tired, but she is too busy living the life of a 12 year old girl to let it get her down. She is my hero.

Today Cheyenne was up early and spent most of the day hanging out with her older sister, Diana. Not only are they very close siblings, but they have become friends. At one point Diana commented to me that her little sister has sure grown up a lot in the last couple of months. I guess what she has been through and is going through does that to a person. I know I have aged 20 years.

Tonight we went to the Angelo State University Homecoming football game, thanks to the Valva's who were busy and couldn't use their season tickets. Angelo State was beaten by Abilene Christian University, but it was a good game. Also at the game was Coach Slate and her family, so Cheyenne hung around with Christine and had a great time. There was a lot of talk about the upcoming basketball season. Cheyenne just can't wait to play again. I'm not sure what the people sitting around us thought, but we had Cheyenne's mobile medicine chest with us and it seemed as if she was taking some sort of medication about every 30 minutes. I noticed a lot of stares. But we make a point of being as precise as possible on her medication schedules regardless of where we are.

I want to thank all of you that continually pray for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayer is very powerful, and it IS working. Tonight when you are going through a few of the Caringbridge sites and offering prayers to those children, don't forget little Phoenix Fox, (mentioned in last nights journal) as he does not yet have a Caringbridge site.

God Bless you All.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, October 17, 2003 11:07 PM CDT

*****CHEYENNE'S MAKE A WISH TRIP TO DISNEY WORLD*****
*****NOVEMBER 1 THROUGH 6*****

*****ONLY 2 MORE DAYS OF CHEMO LEFT ON THIS SCHEDULE*****

Cheyenne did fairly well on her chemo today. She says that she did not feel great, but had a good day none the less. She wanted to go with her church group tonight to Snyder, TX to a Maze cut out in a corn field, but due to her being on chemo and the trip so far, we opted out. So she wouldn't be really disappointed, the family went to the movie and saw "Second Hand Lions". It was a pretty good show. When we arrived back at the house, her brother Christopher was here to visit with her awhile. Cheyenne really likes her older brothers and sisters.

Today I looked up some old friends in South Florida, since we are taking the Make A Wish trip there in a couple of weeks. I didn't get a chance to talk to my friend Dave Robinson, but I did catch Jeanie at home. David and Jeanie are two people that are rock solid in their faith in the Lord. As a result of our converstation today, I caught up with their lives and need to ask you to join me in prayers for their family. Jeanie was diagnosed a few years ago with a brain tumor which, thank the Lord, is currently in remission. Also they recently discovered that their 15 month old grandson, Phoenix David Fox, has a disease called Pompe's disease. Pompe's disease is one of those horrible diseases of which there is no known medical cure. Baby Phoenix is currently on a trial treatment and is reponding fairly well, but is still in desperate need of prayers. I gave Jeanie information on Caringbridge, so they may be joining our caringbridge family shortly.

There are a few other members of my caringbridge family that are also in need of prayers right now.

Jessie, a beautiful young lady, needs some encouragement and prayers as she has to wait a few weeks to determine if the latest discoveries are cancer related. We are praying really hard that they are not.

McKenzie also is need of prayers as the last MRI showed her tumor slightly larger than earlier. We are praying that it is simply swelling from treatment.

My little buddy Nicholas, is having a few unexpected complications. We are praying that his medication is quickly stabalized and his swelling diminishes.

Cameron is in the hospital for the weekend with a fever. We are praying that the stay is a really short one and he is out in time for school monday.

Caitlin has recently had some changes in her tumor. This could very well be good news, but at this point it is uncertain. We are praying really hard that this change is EXCELLENT news.

Fisher was running a fever, but is feeling alot better now that he is on antibiotics. We are thankful to the Lord for this. We also thank the Lord for blessing Fisher's mom's life in the last day or so with several blessings.

Our God is a truly Awesome GOD. Thank you Lord for all the blessings that you have bestowed on my family. You have given us the most perfect children, a wonderful family, great friends, and a wonderful life.

I want to again thank everyone for all the prayers, encouragement, cards, guestbook entries, and support that you have provided for Cheyenne, our family, and all the other children. God Bless you all. You make a Big difference.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, October 16, 2003 8:37 PM CDT

Today was Day 2 of the 2nd round of Chemo for Cheyenne and all was well. Starting this morning, she does complain of a little constant nausea, but nothing as severe as it has been in the past. We still have a good time right through the nausea. She attended school today and spend some time with her niece and nephew (Bryce and Allysa) after getting home. Also, her older sister, Diana came in from college to give her a great big hug and kiss. I can't believe how well those 2 get along.

This evening Shonda from Make A Wish called. The tentative dates for Cheyenne's Make A Wish trip to Disney World is November 1st through the 6th. That gave Cheyenne a smile for the rest of the evening and night. WOW, that is only about 2 weeks away. We had better start making plans!! We also hope to visit a few of our Caringbridge friends while out there if at all possible.

Cheyenne is calling me, so I had better cut this off.

I want to thank everyone for all their continued prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. God is truly AWESOME and prayers really do work. A few other brave children and their parents are also in need of prayer over the next few weeks, so please join me in lifting them up to the Lord in prayer: McKenzie, Nicolas, Jessie, Caitlin, and Jaime.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, October 15, 2003 6:43 PM CDT

I can't believe that I am getting to enter Cheyenne's journal so early tonight. Normally it is close to midnight or later by the time I put Cheyenne to bed, check all my caringbridge children, and then get to enter the journal.

Today Cheyenne started her 2nd round of chemo and it went without a hitch. She didn't even put up an argument, and has had no ill effects all day. I do understand from several of the children that are on this same schedule, that by the 3rd or 4th day they start getting a little sick and very tired, so I hope we can avoid that.

Right now Cheyenne is at church, for her Wednesday night youth activities. I have mentioned several times how much she loves school, well, she loves church even more.

We were just contacted again by Jeff Williams of the Copperhead band. He has invited Cheyenne to a concert here in San Angelo on Oct. 25th at the River Center Stage. I understand that Copperhead is opening for Johnny Bush and then Canadian Ragweed. So, if you aren't doing anything that night, come on by. We would love to see you. I guess that night will be a really busy night for us, as we are scheduled to be in San Antonio the next morning to attend the Cancer Kids Halloween Costume Party, and then the next day a doctor's appointment. We will probably leave straight from the concert to drive to San Antonio. Cheyenne is sooooo very excited about the concert. She has never really been to one, so this is special.

I want to thank everyone for all their continued prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. God is truly AWESOME and prayers really do work. Cheyenne is experiencing a miracle right now as a result. A few other brave children and their parents are also in need of prayer over the next few weeks, so please join me in lifting them up to the Lord in prayer: McKenzie, Nicolas, Jessie, Caitlin, and Jaime.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, October 14, 2003 8:08 PM CDT

Cheyenne woke up this morning with a minor upset stomach, but made it through the day without problems, and without taking Zofran. I am confident that it is not tumor or medication related, as I also still had a minor upset stomach this morning. Hopefully we have both gotten over whatever problem we had.

Cheyenne attended school today and said she had lots of fun as well as learned alot. I made a point to not ask her what she had learned. I didn't want to put her on the spot, however, she probably would have surprised me and told me what she had learned. She is a pretty smart young lady.

Well, after not arriving on the 8th, then the 9th, and then the 13th, Cheyenne's chemo and anti-nausea medication arrived today via FEDEX. What is comical about it, is that this morning I called the mail order prescription office and they informed me that it was sent out regular mail and would arrive tomorrow. Then after the prescriptions had arrived, I received a phone call from the mail order prescription office confirming our address in preparation of sending out the prescription. I had to tell them that I had already received them. Oh Boy. Makes one wonder if the contents of the capsules are really what it is supposed to be.

So tomorrow at 7am we start the next round of chemo (Temodar). We are praying that Cheyenne does very well, as she did on her last schedule.

Oh, and for those wondering about her new friend, Jasmine the Gerbil, it is really amazing. When Cheyenne goes into her room and calls it, it runs up to the cage door, stands on its hind legs and waits for her. The two have really hit it off.

I want to thank everyone for all their continued prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. We all really need your prayers and encouragement. When you say your prayers tonight, please join me in lifting up the following brave children to the LORD in prayer: McKenzie, Nicolas, Jessie, Caitlin, and Jaime. These kids need a little extra prayer tonight and over the next few weeks, as do their parents.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, October 13, 2003 11:03 PM CDT

This morning again started off a little rough for Cheyenne, but as the day progressed, so did she. By this evening she was her active self feeling wonderful.

This morning right after getting up to get ready for school she became sick to her stomach. We gave her the option of staying home from school, and she chose to stay home. This is actually very unusual for her, as she loves school so very much.

After a few hours she began feeling better, and dad began feeling sick to his stomach. So, the way I see it, her sickness was probably not tumor related at all. I guess we both ate something bad or caught something that is going around.

By the afternoon, she talked me into expanding our household zoo. We already have many cats, dogs, fish, horses, sheep, a donkey and lately even chickens. I don't know where the chickens came from but I am hoping they will go home. Well, today we are the proud parents of Jasamine, the Gerbil. It is actually quite neat. Cheyenne calls it and it comes to the cage door and eats out of her hand. I noticed that our dogs and cats appear to think it is pretty neat also. We have to remember to keep Cheyenne's door closed.

This evening Cheyenne wanted to go to Karate class again. On the way there, she advised me that she was going to spar, and that was that. I said, of course, NO. By the time we arrived, and it was discovered that I had brought her big sisters gi rather than her's, things kind of went downhill as far as her listening to me. So after much a do, I agreed to let her spar as long as there was NO head contact. She did very well. Of course, she was accidentally smacked in the chin, but no harm was done. She had so much fun, she informed Sifu Troncoso of the MAA that she is definately competing in the next tournament. So, the way it stands, Cheyenne will be competing in forms, weapons speciality, and musical speciality. But NO SPARRING. Actually, this class is doing wonders for her balance and self confidence. She is really throwing those high kicks again.

You may remember from yesterday's journal, Cheyenne's Chemo was supposed to arrive today after not getting here on the 8th and then the 9th. You guessed it. It did not arrive. I checked Cheyenne's medical journal that we keep, and she doesn't actually begin this schedule until the morning of the 15th. So we have a little more time. Insurance companies sure don't get things right very often. I just read Zachary's journal, and they are going through the same thing, times 10, since their chemo is IV.

I want to thank everyone for all their continued prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. This beast of a tumor took another child a few days ago, sweet little Jessica (not Jessica linked to Cheyenne's site). We all really need your prayers and encouragement. When you say your prayers tonight, please join me in lifting up the following brave children to the LORD in prayer: McKenzie, Nicolas, Jessie, Caitlin, and Jaime. These kids need a little extra prayer tonight and over the next few weeks, as do their parents.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, October 12, 2003 11:56 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

I guess Caringbridge was able to get their servers up on line a lot quicker than expected. They had warned of a possible 72 hour timeframe of being down.

Cheyenne's last couple of days were really good days. She did get sick to her stomach a couple of times today, but was over it real quickly.

Friday night Cheyenne and I went to her school's high school football game. I was so proud of her. I believe she noticed me sitting in the stands looking all lonely and joined me for more than half of the game. I know she did it just to keep me company. The rest of the time she visited and played with many of her friends there.

It has been raining here for several days, so saturday was spent either in town shopping or just hanging around the house. But it was a fun day.

Today was Sunday School, Church, and later in the evening church activities called "dinner and a movie". Cheyenne had a great time.

We finally received the radiologist report for Cheyenne's last MRI. I have read it, reread it, etc...It is written differently that many that I have seen. No percentage comparisons, just medical talk. Basically, it says that the tumor has regressed, but there are still indications of tumor activity in certain areas. Some of those areas are described as possibly being signs of further regression rather than tumor activity. We have a long way to go but we are not through fighting.

Also Cheyenne is scheduled to begin her 2nd round of chemo (Temodar) on Wednesday. She is scheduled to take 130mg twice a day for 5 days. Of course, the chemo has not yet arrived in the mail. They have promised it on the 8th, then on the 9th, and now by tomorrow. We'll see..It took 4 phone calls to get them to promise it by tomorrow after they missed the other two days. We are praying for no adverse effects from this round, since it is more than twice the last dosage.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers for our little girl. She is so very special and we love her so very much. She is a wonderful child of God. Also thank you for all the prayers for all the other children that are in need. Prayers are so very powerful.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, October 10, 2003 11:48 PM CDT

Cheyenne has been Very well. To God be the Glory! We are truly blessed. Her Sunday school teacher, Tom Wheeler retired from the US Army today after 21 years. We were happy to be present at the ceremony. It was a very nice affair; he is an extraordinary guy and very well thought of for his jokes and for his genuine loving concern for people around him. But beware, he is a hugger. Caringbridge will be down for repairs for about 3 days. Please keep all the dear children in your thoughts and prayers, and we all hope to get back online with terrific news in our journals.
God Bless you all!
Donna

Thursday, October 9, 2003 9:53 PM CDT

Hello all,

Today was a pretty normal day for Cheyenne. She had a complete day in school just like a normal 12 year old girl. When she came home from school, her big brother, Christopher, and her little niece McKayla were here to visit (Cheyenne just loves her nieces and nephews). She will make a terrific babysitter. After a good visit, we all drove into town and met with Leslie and Cheyenne's other niece, sweet little Maddie. Cheyenne loved visiting and playing with the kids.

As I do every night, I would like to thank you for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne as well as all the other children. God has blessed us with such a wonderful family and friends, and now all of our caringbridge friends.

As you say your prayers tonight, please remember Jessie, who will be undergoing tests, Jackson who is a little under the weather from what we pray is a minor illness, and Caitlin, who may be having new tests done.

Also, please help me Praise and Thank the Lord for all the wonderful blessings he has given our family, including the wonderful MRI results last week. He is truly an amazing and awesome GOD.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, October 8, 2003 10:29 PM CDT

Cheyenne's good days are becoming a wonderful habit. Today was again a no nausea and no Zofran day. Unfortunately, these days will probably be limited, as she starts her 2nd round of chemo next week. This round will more than double the amount of chemo (Temodar) and it will be given twice a day rather than once. The good thing about it is that this schedule is for only 5 days followed by a 28 day break.

This evening after school, Cheyenne attended Wednesday Youth Church Activities and had a really good time with her friends there. Lately it seems as if there is something scheduled every night for Cheyenne. Hopefully she did not have school homework, as I forgot to ask prior to her going to bed.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. Prayers work miracles. When you say your prayers tonight, please remember Noah's mom and dad. Also Jessie and Caitlin are having their MRI's tomorrow and the next day, so please say a special prayer for them.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, October 7, 2003 9:45 PM CDT

Today was another very good day for Cheyenne. It was nausea free as well as Zofran free, so that is a big improvement from yesterday.

Today Cheyenne's brother Christopher and his family arrived from Alaska. Cheyenne was soooo excited. When I arrived home from work Cheyenne was having a big time with her little niece Maddie. Her other niece, McKayla was out at her other Grandparents house, and Cheyenne really missed seeing her. Cheyenne is already making plans on playing with them both tomorrow.

Thank you all for all the kind thoughts and wishes, and especially all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. Please say a prayer for Greg and Debbie tonight, baby Noah's parents, as baby Noah became an angel last night. Also, Jessie is having her MRI on the 9th and Caitlin has her next MRI on the 15th. Please pray for clear scans for both these wonderful girls. I don't yet have dates on Maddie's or Mckenzie's MRI's, but they should be soon.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, October 6, 2003 10:01 PM CDT

Today started off a little rough for Cheyenne but turned into a GREAT day. This morning, Cheyenne became sick to her stomach twice before getting to school. About the time we arrived at school, the Zofran kicked in and it was no stopping her for the rest of the day.

After school, Cheyenne grabbed her workout gi and pads and decided it was time for her to resume her karate training. I have never been prouder of my little pumpkin (she hates when I call her that in public). She kept up with everyone else and was throwing those over the head kicks, and spinning heel kicks like they were nothing. (We'll load a couple of photos in a day or so.) When the class began their sparring, Cheyenne wanted to spar so very badly, but old mean dad said, No Contact!!

During training, Sifu asked the students to raise their hands if they were going to compete in the next tournament in San Antonio. Cheyenne was one of the first to raise her hand. What a trooper.. I have told her that she could compete in anything except sparring. Again, No Contact!!

At one point in the training, the class had a special surprise for Cheyenne. Sifu Troncoso of the MAA called her up to the front and Rudy Perez presented her with a beautiful silver bracelet and a medallion from the Basilica of the National Shrine of Our Lady of San Juan del Valle. For those that do not know, this church contains a statue of The Lady of San Juan del Valle which is known for its healing powers and is one of the holiest sites in Texas. It seems that when the Martial Arts Academy attended a Karate Tourament in South Texas last month, the class went to the Shrine, lit candles and prayed for a miracle for Cheyenne. The class had also given Cheyenne a beautiful wall plaque from the shrine with all their signatures earlier. And for those that missed the last few journal entries, THE MIRACLE IS HAPPENING. PRAISE AND THANK GOD!!

We did learn one thing from the training tonight. It seems that Cheyenne has never totally regained her sight in her left eye. When she looks out of the corner of her eye, it is still either blurred or double, she isn't sure which. She just didn't think it important to mention since she sees fine everywhere else.

As I sit here now writing this journal at 1030pm, I hear Cheyenne still giggling, laughing, and singing with her mom in her bedroom. She is one happy little girl tonight. It makes a daddy feel good.

I want to thank everyone for all the wonderful prayers, guestbook entries, emails, and cards for Cheyenne and all the other children. Prayer is an awesome, powerful thing. The guestbook signing and cards make these little kids just giddy knowing that there are that many people that care. They all just love to read their entries. Also Benji is back online, so please stop in and say hello.

Please say a special prayer for baby Noah and his parents tonight. The last update I had seemed as if God was calling baby Noah home.

Again, thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, October 5, 2003 10:46 PM CDT

Well, the "Energizer Bunny" Cheyenne finally ran out of steam last night. I knew that she was over doing it with the sleepover the night before, the skating party, etc.., but she just wouldn't slow down. She thinks she is 100 percent, while the truth is that she is maybe 60 to 70 percent what she used to be. By 9pm last night she was one pooped little trooper.

Cheyenne woke up fine this morning and had another totally filled day. (We are going to have to get some rest someday!!) Today she attended Sunday School and church, followed by a "Crop Walk" Cheyenne insisted on walking the 2 miles because she had obligated herself and it was a good cause. Following the Crop Walk, she and a few of the other kids spent a couple of hours at a friends house and then it was back to church for her Confirmation Class. We arrived back home just in time to eat, get cleaned up and put her to bed for school tomorrow.

Hopefully the Radiologist's report on her MRI will be here by tuesday or wednesday, depending on whether or not it was mailed friday. We are still in shock over the fantastic news from Dr. Estrada. The norm for this tumor, would have been to show no shrinkage at that point in time due to both post radiation swelling as well as the type of tumor it is. This is absolutely nothing short of a miracle. Cheyenne still has a fight to go with the other "active" tumor area, but with all the prayers and God's help, she can handle it. One thing about it, after the preliminary MRI results she no longer fusses when she takes her Protocel (it tastes rather bad).

I want to thank everyone for helping provide Cheyenne with this miracle. All the prayers lifted up to the Lord in her name. Thousands and Thousands..God Bless you all.

Also tonight, again please lift up baby Noah and his family to the Lord in prayer. I have not heard an update, however, they were having an extremely rough time at last update.

Many of Cheyenne's caringbridge friends will be having their MRI's over the next month or so. I will let you know the exact times and dates, but please hold them in your thoughts and prayers. A little boy named David (not yet linked) had his MRI on Oct 2, and they will get their results tomorrow. Caitlin will be having her next MRI on the 15th. Maddie will be having her's within the next few weeks as is, I believe, McKenzie.

God Bless you all and Thank you.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, October 4, 2003 7:24 PM CDT

Today was an extremely busy day for Cheyenne and the rest of us. Mom and dad are dead tired, and Cheyenne is like the energizer bunny, not slowing down at all. Where does she get that energy?

Today we had Cheyenne's belated birthday party at the skating rink. Many, many friends and relatives came. She had such a blast. We were able to visit with Coach Slate (the best coach in the world), Sifu Troncoso and Sifu Howard from the Martial Arts Academy, and all the parents. Donna and I also had a blast just visiting. It was the best birthday party Cheyenne has ever had. Donna and I didn't skate, but I saw Diana, Cheyenne's big sister out on skates. She did pretty well I might add. I was afraid that Cheyenne would get too tired, and I did notice that her right eye was drooping, which now happens when she gets overly tired. But there was no stopping her.

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. I especially ask for prayers for baby Noah and his parents tonight. They have had such a difficult time, nothing seems to work. No parent should have to go through what they are experiencing now.

God bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, October 3, 2003 10:06 PM CDT

Today was a REALLY great day for Cheyenne and family. Mom, dad, and sister are still soaking in the information from the MRI wednesday and awaiting official results. The radiologist reports are in the mail and we hope to have them in a few days.

Since the beginning of this journey God has pointed us in one direction. There have been days of doubt, days of intense emotion, and days of not knowing what to think. Each and every time we had questions, or doubt, God came to us almost immediately to calm us down and put us on the right path. If you have read many of our journal entries, you will see those days as I would generally mention them. It also did not seem like God would beat around the bush. In almost every case, it was BAM, here is the answer you sought!! Also, most of the time this response was immediate. I have learned that God gives us signs and signals all the time, we just have to listen. PRAISE TO THE LORD. OUR GOD IS TRULY AND AWESOME GOD!! I am now listening.

We continue to pray that the preliminary results from Cheyenne's MRI is the beginning of her complete healing. We also continue to pray for the LORD to see us through the rest of the journey and we thank the LORD for the healing he is providing. Cheyenne has a long way to go, and she, along with her parents, family, and friends will fight all the way. We also continue lift up all our friends that are battling this horrible tumor and other horrible childhood illnesses to the LORD, every day, many times a day. Prayer is an awesome thing. I know.

God Bless you all for all the prayers, caring, support, and thoughts. It means so much to these children and their parents to know that others are lifting them up to the LORD, that they are not in this battle alone.

Also, under the photo album link on this page, I have temporarly loaded Cheyenne's MRI comparison results for the Protocel support group of which I am a member. They will be there about a week before changing back to the photos of Cheyenne.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, October 3, 2003 10:06 PM CDT

Today was a REALLY great day for Cheyenne and family. Mom, dad, and sister are still soaking in the information from the MRI wednesday and awaiting official results. The radiologist reports are in the mail and we hope to have them in a few days.

Since the beginning of this journey God has pointed us in one direction. There have been days of doubt, days of intense emotion, and days of not knowing what to think. Each and every time we had questions, or doubt, God came to us almost immediately to calm us down and put us on the right path. If you have read many of our journal entries, you will see those days as I would generally mention them. It also did not seem like God would beat around the bush. In almost every case, it was BAM, here is the answer you sought!! Also, most of the time this response was immediate. I have learned that God gives us signs and signals all the time, we just have to listen. PRAISE TO THE LORD. OUR GOD IS TRULY AND AWESOME GOD!! I am now listening.

We continue to pray that the preliminary results from Cheyenne's MRI is the beginning of her complete healing. We also continue to pray for the LORD to see us through the rest of the journey and we thank the LORD for the healing he is providing. Cheyenne has a long way to go, and she, along with her parents, family, and friends will fight all the way. We also continue lift up all our friends that are battling this horrible tumor and other horrible childhood illnesses to the LORD, every day, many times a day. Prayer is an awesome thing. I know.

God Bless you all for all the prayers, caring, support, and thoughts. It means so much to these children and their parents to know that others are lifting them up to the LORD, that they are not in this battle alone.

Also, under the photo album link on this page, I have temporarly loaded Cheyenne's MRI comparison results for the Protocel support group of which I am a member. They will be there about a week before changing back to the photos of Cheyenne.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, October 1, 2003 5:34 PM CDT

PRAISE AND THANK GOD FOR ANSWERING OUR PRAYERS!!

THROUGH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!

A MIRACLE IN PROGRESS!!

UPDATE:
Oct 2, 2003 1PM

I wanted to update after our meeting with Dr. Estrada this morning. Upon viewing the MRI films from yesterday, it is a miracle. Most of the films appear normal with no evidence of tumor. The upper right side in the Pons area has a small area with very faint enhancement, indicating tumor. There is such a big difference between the MRI taken on July 09 and yesterday, a miracle is the only answer. I still have not read the radiologists report, and I assume it will take a few days to be written. Dr. Estrada is extremely happy. We had a very short Protocel talk, but it was obvious that he does not believe in Protocel. I understand this based upon his training, and he is good enough to not try to lecture me. He knows that I do believe that GOD lead us to Protocel, and GOD is working a miracle in our child through Protocel and conventional treatment.

THANK YOU GOD!!

Oct 01, 2003

Today was Cheyenne's first post-radiation MRI, and we have nothing but GREAT news to report. This is only preliminary information, but according to her Oncologist, Dr Estrada, there has been SIGNIFICANT shrinkage of the tumor. There is no longer any displacement of normal brain tissue associated with the tumor, the ventricles are now completely clear, and the basilar artery is no longer displaced. The spectrascopy did show a small amount of tumor activity on the right side, but no other current activity was noted.

What makes this such awesome news is that this MRI was taken only 12 days post radiation. Post radiation edema (swelling) can occurr for 4 to 5 months. Additionally, radiation is an accumulative effect treatment, meaning that even though the radiation is now complete, it will continue to work for several months.

Tomorrow morning we are meeting Dr Estrada at 1030am and will hopefully get additional information. Also in the morning, we hope to get a copy of the Radiologist report and will hopefully take digital photos of the MRI films.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers for our little girl, Cheyenne, and all the other children. When you say your prayers tonight, please thank GOD for the continued healing of our baby. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, September 30, 2003 11:08 PM CDT

Hello all,

We made it safely to San Antonio for the MRI tomorrow, arriving around 10pm. After arriving and getting set up in Diana's apartment (Cheyenne's big sister now going to UTSA), it was beautiful. After about 10 minutes Cheyenne and Diana were huddled together in the dining room, laughing, hugging, talking, and having a great time. They sure did miss each other and love each other. It makes a daddy feel good.

The MRI is scheduled for 9:50 in the am with the spectroscopy at 11am. Our appointment at the oncologist is right after noon, so we most likely will not have the results tomorrow. We, of course, are a bundle of nerves. It has been only 12 days since the end of radiation and 24 days since the end of the first schedule of chemo.

For those keeping up with our other caringbridge friends, Kody came through his surgery with FLYING COLORS. If you need a little cheering up, check out his site tonight. He is quite the little man. I haven't heard about Luke's MRI results yet, but I am sure our prayers were answered.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne as well as all the other children. They are all so special. Also, if you do happen to visit their websites, please leave a guestbook entry. These kids just love reading their entries more than you can imagine. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, September 29, 2003 9:43 PM CDT

Today was another very good, normal little girl day for Cheyenne. It is so amazing that a few months ago, we would not even have given a 2nd thought to a normal day. So much has changed, God has shown us what is really important in life. We have been so truly blessed in our lives to have had such wonderful children, parents, family, friends, and now all of our newest caringbridge friends. God is so awesome. Without his help, we would be truly lost.

As I mentioned, today was a very good day. No nausea, no headaches, no stomach aches, and no other complaints at all (for Cheyenne that is). Donna and I have it arranged at work so I am able to take Cheyenne to school in the mornings and she is home to take Cheyenne off the bus in the afternoons. It works out perfectly, except for mom and dad never getting sleep. Ha. After the embarrassing bus incident for Cheyenne a week ago, she decided it would be really nice if we gave her a ride to school in the mornings (16 miles each way).

You may have noticed that I added just a few additional links to other children's sites. I am not trying to overburden everyone, it is just that there are so many special children and parents out there that really need your prayers. Believe me, I have many, many more than are linked that I visit regularly. I have been so truly blessed to have met these kids and their parents. If you check out their sites you will discover how great those kids are. Linked to this site are some of the most caring, intelligent, witty, and brave kids I have ever met. And cute, did I say cute! And this is just a sampling of all the wonderful children and families out there that could use your support, prayers, and caring.

Thank you and God Bless everyone for all the prayers and thoughts for Cheyenne and the other children. A few of the children have special needs tonight. Noah and his family are still in desperate need of prayers tonight. This little baby really is need of a miracle. Jeffery is going through a battle with depression right now, and could use some cheering up, as is Maxie. Also Luke had his MRI today, and we are praying for a clear scan. Tomorrow Kody Bear is going in for surgery and of course, Cheyenne is traveling to San Antonio for her first post radiation MRI on Wednesday. Prayer is such a powerful thing. Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, September 28, 2003 8:53 PM CDT

Today was a really good day for Cheyenne. I didn't want to jinx ourselves earlier, but today is the 2nd day in a row without Zofran. And no complaints of nausea at all. That is GREAT!!

Today was a Sunday School, church and hang around the house day. Of course the hanging around the house turned into painting and getting Cheyenne's new bedroom ready for her to move in. Of course with work, our trip to San Antonio later in the week, and all, it will probably be another week before it is ready, at the earliest.

The MRI wednesday has mom and dad a little anxious, but with your prayers and the help of God, we know that it will be a fantastic MRI. God Bless you all and thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and the other children.

Cheyenne's dad
www.caringbridge.org/tx/cheyenne5

Saturday, September 27, 2003 8:55 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a great time last night at the sleepover at Loretta's house, followed by a fun birthday party today. I picked her up at around 2pm, and arrived back at home just in time for Cheyenne's first meeting with the Make A Wish volunteers. It was some serious thinking and considering for Cheyenne, with so many things in her life that she would like to do. After over an hour, she finally decided that she really wanted to go to Disney World. So, her #1 choice is a trip to Disney World. Her # 2 choice, in case Disney World falls through, is a lap top computer. The Make A Wish volunteer's, Shonda Brooks and Jim Wood, are such nice people. We had a very nice visit while Cheyenne pondered this very important choice. I think what really swayed Cheyenne toward Disney World, was a journal entry by one of our caringbridge friends, Cameron. In July they had a Make A Wish trip to Disney World and left a 3 page journal on everything they did. It sounded like an awful lot of fun.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers, cards, guestbook entries, and support for Cheyenne and the other children. It really means more than you can imagine.

God Bless you All
Cheyenne's dad

Friday, September 26, 2003 11:15 PM CDT

Today Cheyenne's day was just like any other little girl's day.. She was up early and off to school. I understand she had a great day at school with no sickness at all. When I picked her up from school, she complained of having a headache earlier in the day, and of course all kinds of thoughts went through my head. Then she explained that someone had thrown a basketball and hit her in the back of the head during recess. But the good news was that the headache went away after about an hour.

Immediately after school, we took her to a friends house where she and several of her friends are having a sleepover. Tomorrow is Loretta's birthday and they will have the party in the am. So, I am a little lonely without daddy's girl here tonight. I have gotten so used to having her around 24 by 7, it is horrible to not be with her. And then Cheyenne's sister, Diana, stayed in San Antonio to attend the University of Texas San Antonio. So I am without her as well. That's just not fair!! But then one benefit, Donna and I were able to go out to eat tonight and it didn't cost a fortune as when the kids are here. Also, we are preparing the spare bedroom for Cheyenne, and we seemed to get a lot done without her here. Now that Diana is not here, Cheyenne has her pick of the rooms, and of course she picks the one that she is not currently in. It was only about a year ago that she moved out of that room!! Oh well.

Cheyenne also today decided to take formal violin lessons and learn how to play the violin. A very nice gentleman by the name of John Reid of Ripley, Ms sent Cheyenne a violin a few weeks ago as a gift. As soon as some sort of music comes out of it, I plan on recording it and if possible, put it on the site.

I want to again thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Some of these kids just love to read their guestbook entries, it makes their day. So when you have time be sure and visit their sites and sign the guestbooks to let them and their parents know that you care. I understand that Maxie and Jamie still need lots of prayers as do their families. Also, little baby Noah, is doing a lot better but is still in need of prayers as he has several tests coming up today and in the near future. I have personally experienced the power of prayer and know that prayer is an awesome thing. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, September 25, 2003 8:25 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a really good day today. She was up early, took her Zofran to prepare for her school day, and it was off to school. She says that generally, she felt great all day with just those moments of slight nausea.

Today the Make A Wish Volunteer called, and we have an appointment set up to talk to them Saturday. Cheyenne has no idea yet of what she wants to do, but I guess that is what the appointment is all about.

I again want to thank everyone for all the wonderful prayers and support that Cheyenne and all the other children receive from all of you. It is so encouraging to both the children and their families. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, September 24, 2003 9:22 PM CDT

Today started off with one of those embarrassing moments for Cheyenne. We were up early, Cheyenne got on the school bus on its first pass (it comes by the house twice). About 15 minutes later there was a knock on the door and it was Cheyenne. Apparently just a few minutes after getting on the bus, she became sick. After cleaning herself up, she decided that she had better stay home from school today. So she spent the day with mom and dad. At least for the short term, on school days Cheyenne is going to take a Zofran as soon as she gets up each day to prevent another incident such as this. Also, she has asked dad to give her a ride to school each day rather than ride the bus.

Other than the one incident, and minor nausea later in the afternoon, Cheyenne had a good day. She just wishes that she could have been in school.

Today Cheyenne's mom made another birthday cake for the Martial Arts Academy class and we shared it with her karate friends at tonights training class. It was really good for Cheyenne to see her karate friends again. They are such a wonderful group of people, just like family.

Mom and Dad are soooo far behind in so many things. It seems as if there is never enough time in the day to accomplish everything that needs to be done. Cheyenne has received several gifts in the past few weeks, and tonight I realized that we are almost 3 weeks late on some thank you cards. Hopefully tonight!! Also, I have met a few additional really special kids that really need prayers right now. I hope to include them on the links as soon as I can. Additionally, I am trying to learn how to "write code" so I can update and change Cheyenne's site myself without having to bother my son, Michael, all the time. So if you click on the site in the next day or so and it is goofed up, you have me to blame.

Thank you all for all the prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. There are so many children suffering in this world, and I have gotten to know so many. They are all so special. When you say your prayers tonight, please remember our new friend Maxie and his family as well as sweet little Noah and his family.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, September 23, 2003 10:51 PM CDT

******HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEYENNE******

Today was a GREAT BIRTHDAY DAY for Cheyenne. It was nausea free, and Zofran free. Way to Go Cheyenne!!!!!

Cheyenne had a very active and fun filled day at school. If I haven't mentioned it lately, she just Lovvves school! She says that she has the best teachers in the whole world and they make school soooo much fun. Also, Cheyenne has developed another hobby. It seems that since she missed the first few weeks of school, she could not be in band. The only other option was study hall in which she has to do homework or read books. Sooo, she started reading. She read almost 100 pages of a book just today alone. She never know how much fun reading was until now. To indicate how well her day went today, when she arrived home, she opened the door, stuck her head in, grinning ear from ear, and said, "Honey, I'm Home".

After school we had a small family birthday party for her at the house. Her real party with her friends is scheduled for early next month. But for a small party, she sure received lots of gifts. Just about everything she wanted and then some. Cheyenne thinks that mom went a little overboard on the clothes though.

I can't believe that my little pumpkin is already 12 years old. A few days ago a caringbridge friend, Shannon, and I were talking about how it would be so nice just to freeze the time and keep them at this age. They grow up so quickly.

If you get a chance, be sure and stop by McKenzies site, as it also her birthday today. She turned 11 today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY McKENZIE!!!!

Also, baby Noah is still having a really rough time and was put back into PICU today. If you get a chance, stop by their site and let Noah's parents know that you are praying for their family and for Noah's healing. You can not believe how much it means and how much it helps.

I can't express my appreciation enough for all the guestbook entries, the prayers, emails, cards, and support that Cheyenne has received. The world is truly made up of so many good people. Thank you all so much. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, September 22, 2003 10:29 PM CDT

*****ONE MORE DAY UNTIL CHEYENNE'S 12TH BIRTHDAY*****

*****Cheyenne's first day of school this year!!!*****

Cheyenne was up early this morning getting ready for her first day of school. Thank goodness for Zofran, as Cheyenne became sick shortly after waking up. A few minutes after the Zofran, she felt much better and was ready to head to school. I believe mom and dad were a little anxious about it, but Cheyenne just loved the day. After registering Cheyenne into school, we made a point to meet a few of the new teachers, especially the coach. Cheyenne is the kind of person that will never quit, so we were concerned that in physical education. Cheyenne might be tempted to overdo herself. As we were explaining Cheyenne's condition to the coach, we learned that he was a cancer survivor himself. He was all to familiar with chemo and how the body sometimes reacts to it.

After school, Cheyenne felt fairly well, and had a friend over for swimming and playing on the trampoline. However, at around 7 pm, the day's activities began to catch up with her, she lost her appetite, became a little sick to her stomach, and came down with a splitting headache. After a little school work, she was down for the count.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. We have been blessed by meeting so many wonderful families through this caringbridge site. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, September 21, 2003 9:22 PM CDT

Today was a GREAT feeling day for Cheyenne. Early this morning I was awakened by the dogs barking in the back yard. When I went to investigate, I found Cheyenne, already up, outside laying on trampoline just admiring it. After a few jumps and a hundred laughs, we came inside, cleaned up and left for church. After church my cousins John and Judy met us and took us out to lunch to celebrate Cheyenne's birthday next tuesday.

The remainder of the day, while mom and dad worked around the house straightening and fixing everything that has gotten goofed up since we left 2 months ago, Cheyenne had fun with one of her friends. She had just a normal fun filled day, laughing and playing.

The great news of the day, this is the 2nd day in a row that Cheyenne hasn't gotten sick to her stomach. Today, there weren't even complaints of feeling bad. Tomorrow is her first day of school, so we pray that it continues.

Thank you to everyone that is praying for Cheyenne and all the other children. They are all so special. Little Noah and Celeste need extra prayers right now, as do the family of sweet little Marissa, who is now an angel in heaven. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, September 20, 2003 11:52 PM CDT

Cheyenne woke up today feeling great, and felt great all day long until late this evening. At 8am this morning, her and her mom joined the other children from church that are her age and spent the day at a Confirmation Retreat at a place called "The Treehouse" in Knickerbocker, Tx. Cheyenne says that she had a blast and learned a lot.

When she returned home, she received an early birthday present from mom and dad. Although it was against my better judgement, Cheyenne has always wanted a trampoline. She has asked for one for years, and this year said that was all she really wanted for her birthday. So we gave in and surprised her with it when she returned home. I still have to put the protection net around it, but hopefully will get it completed tomorrow.

At about 7pm this evening, Cheyenne became really sick to her stomach again and had to lay down. It hurts so bad to see her sick. She can feel just wonderful one minute, then the next it really hits her.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Little Marissa became an angel in Heaven today and her family needs prayers to make it through this very difficult time. Also little Celeste needs extra prayers tonight after getting the results of her MRI earlier in the week.

God bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, September 20, 2003 9:06 PM CDT

Cheyenne woke up today feeling great, and felt great all day long until late this evening. At 8am this morning, her and her mom joined the other children from church that are her age and spent the day at a Confirmation Retreat at a place called "The Treehouse" in Knickerbocker, Tx. Cheyenne says that she had a blast and learned a lot.

When she returned home, she received an early birthday present from mom and dad. Although it was against my better judgement, Cheyenne has always wanted a trampoline. She has asked for one for years, and this year said that was all she really wanted for her birthday. So we gave in and surprised her with it when she returned home. I still have to put the protection net around it, but hopefully will get it completed tomorrow.

At about 7pm this evening, Cheyenne became really sick to her stomach again and had to lay down. It hurts so bad to see her sick. She can feel just wonderful one minute, then the next it really hits her.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Little Marissa and Celeste need extra prayers tonight.

God bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, September 20, 2003 0:51 AM CDT

******WE ARE HOME******

******4 MORE DAYS UNTIL CHEYENNE TURNS THE BIG 12******

Cheyenne is one happy camper to get home again. I don't know how many times I heard her use the word "home" on the trip back from San Antonio tonight. On the way, we detoured through Christoval, where Cheyenne goes to school, to the Homecoming football game. It was a fantastic Homecoming for Cheyenne. The closer we came to Christoval, the bigger the smile on Cheyenne's face and the more talkative she became. By the time we were in view of the football stadium lights, Cheyenne was talking nonstop with a huge grin ear to ear. As we arrived at the stadium and were attempting to find a parking space, you could hear Cheyenne's friends calling her name. Tonight was by far, the best night that Cheyenne has had all year.

If all goes well, Cheyenne will be attending school monday in Christoval, and she is reallllly happy about that.

No more radiation. That is a good thing. Today after Cheyenne's last radiation treatment, she was given that horrible contraption of a mask that she had to wear. At first she told them that she did not want it, but then changed her mind. As we were waiting in the Doctor's office for the post radiation examination, she was actually putting it on and playing with it. She says that she wants to show it to all of her friends. We told her that it would make a good halloween mask.

Cheyenne's next big appointment will be on Oct 1st. That is the day she will be having an MRI - contrast, and spectracopy. Most likely that will also be the day that she will start her 2nd schedule of chemo (Temador).

Thank you all for your continued prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. She will need extra prayers coming into her first MRI since diagnosis. We are praying for major shrinkage of the tumor. Also, we have not heard an update on little Marissa, however, at last update, she was still in need of desperate prayers.

Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

******WE ARE HOME******

******CHEYENNE'S BIRTHDAY IS ONLY 4 DAYS AWAY******

Thursday, September 18, 2003 10:04 PM CDT

******1 MORE DAY OF RADIATION******

******5 MORE DAYS TIL CHEYENNE'S 12TH BIRTHDAY******

Cheyenne woke up today and someone had apparently flipped the "nausea switch" back to on. Within minutes of waking up she became sick. About an hour later she again became sick, so we went for the Zofran. Afterwards, she had an excellent day.

We began celebrating her end of radiation a little early today. Diana gave Cheyenne her end of radiation and birthday presents since Diana is not coming to San Angelo this week. Immediately following radiation, Cheyenne asked to go to the Magic Time Machine for dinner, so off we went. Our waiter was Robin Hood, and Cheyenne had a blast goofing around with him. After dinner, Cheyenne still felt great, so it was off to the San Antonio Mercado and then the San Antonio River Walk. It was a really busy evening, but Cheyenne had a really good time and is still not tired from it.

Tomorrow is shaping up to be a busy day for Donna and me. It will take most of the morning to pack up everything that we have accumulated or have brought with us from San Angelo over the past 2 months. Thankfully, we have both vehicles here to carry it all back home. As it now stands, we plan on leaving for the Christoval Homecoming football game immediatly after the 4pm radiation and radiology appointment.

Over the past 2 months, we have been blessed with so many prayers, guestbook signings, emails, and support from so many wonderful people. Thank you all so very much. Tomorrow marks the end of Cheyenne's radiation, but the beginning of a very long painful journey. Please remember to keep her in your prayers every day. This battle is only beginning, and Cheyenne can only be victorious against this horrible beast of a tumor with God's help, healing, guidance, and wisdom.

Also, there are so many other children that are suffering similar circumstances. All of these children need steadfast prayers to pull them and their parents through their nightmare illnesses. Please remember them. Thank you and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

******1 MORE DAY OF RADIATION******

******5 MORE DAYS TIL CHEYENNE'S 12TH BIRTHDAY******

Wednesday, September 17, 2003 6:09 PM CDT

******2 MORE DAYS TIL END OF RADIATION******

******6 MORE DAYS TIL CHEYENNE'S 12TH BIRTHDAY******

The power keeps going off here at the apartment, so this will probably be a quick journal. I have already lost one entry when the power fluctuated.

Cheyenne woke up this morning feeling great. It was as if the nausea switch was just turned off. She has felt great all day. Thank you all for the prayers. They are working well.

Today was the Oncologist appointment day. Dr Estrada is still amazed at Cheyenne's improvements. Today her blood counts were back to that of a normal 11 year old girl. Dr Estrada also scheduled an MRI - contrast - and Spectrascopy (probably misspelled) for 2 weeks from today. Even though post radiation can cause swelling for up to 4 months, we know that something good is happening since all the symptoms have gone away. As Dr Estrada put it, he just wants to see what is going on up there.

Cheyenne is becoming one anxious little girl. All she talks about is the last day of radiation, Homecoming at her school friday night, and her birthday next week. And of course, starting school. She became a little agitated at the Dr when he scheduled the MRI because she would have to miss more school.

Cheyenne says that she will see all her Christoval friends at the Homecoming football game friday night. We plan on leaving from radiation and driving straight to the game.

God Bless you all and thank you all for the wonderful prayers, cards, emails, and support. The power of prayer is sooo amazing. Our God is really an AWESOME God.

Thank you

Cheyenne's dad

******2 MORE DAYS TIL END OF RADIATION******

******6 MORE DAYS TIL CHEYENNE'S 12TH BIRTHDAY******

Tuesday, September 16, 2003 8:27 PM CDT

*****ONLY 3 MORE DAYS OF RADIATION*****

*****ONLY 7 MORE DAYS UNTIL CHEYENNE'S BIRTHDAY*****

Today turned into another Zofran/chicken soup day for Cheyenne. I guess it is getting to be the norm. It has been almost 3 weeks of nausea for her. Luckily, by far, she feels good most of the day with only those horrible minutes in between.

Radiation today was like any other, she just walks in, lays down, and gets it done. Of course all the while listening to her Christian music CD's.

After radiation, we met some friends that were in town and had dinner at the Tower of the Americas. For those that aren't familiar with it, it is the huge tower in downtown San Antonio that was built for the Worlds Fair back when it was in San Antonio. There is a restaurant on top that slowly turns as you are eating, looking out over the entire city.

I want to thank everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Little Marissa is still in desperate need of special prayers.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

*****ONLY 3 MORE DAYS OF RADIATION*****

*****ONLY 7 MORE DAYS UNTIL CHEYENNE'S BIRTHDAY*****

Monday, September 15, 2003 8:28 PM CDT

FOUR MORE DAYS OF RADIATION

WOW, only 4 more days of radiation!! And then only 9 more days until Cheyenne’s 12th birthday!! We are going to have a lot to celebrate in next few days.

Today was definitely a Zofran day for Cheyenne. She was sick 4 times before 1030 am. At 11 am she really couldn’t handle it anymore, so we decided to give her a Zofran. The remainder of the day she would occasionally complain of a stomach ache, but had a very good day. Most of the day was travel to San Antonio, and then radiation. After radiation it was swim, swim, swim. She loves to swim. The closer the 19th gets (end of radiation), the bigger the smile on this little girl’s face.

Many hours over the past few days has been spent deciding on exactly what Cheyenne wants for her birthday. The problem with this little girl, is that she doesn’t think big enough. We would probably get her anything that she really wanted, but she is so conservative.

We are praying that Cheyenne has a better day tomorrow with the nausea. The good thing about it, though, is that as soon as she vomits, she is back to normal. It isn’t a long term “feeling bad” kind of thing.

Please continue to pray for Cheyenne and all the other wonderful children. We know that miracles happen everyday.

God Bless you all!

Cheyenne’s dad

FOUR MORE DAYS OF RADIATION

Sunday, September 14, 2003 8:46 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a pretty good day today, even though Dad did not fare so well. Anytime we lose one of these precious children that we have gotten to know, it really hurts. This morning Zach became an angel. No more cancer, no more tumor, no more pain. Please pray for his family during this extremely difficult time. Also, little Marissa is battling this tumor minute by minute, so she is also in desperate need of prayers tonight.

Thus far, Cheyenne has made it through the day without getting sick, although as of a few minutes ago, she was complaining of her stomach hurting. A few hours ago, when Cheyenne was at the Youth Group's "Dinner, Devotion, and a Movie", I warned her about eating popcorn, but she insisted. I still remember what happened about a week ago when Cheyenne had popcorn.

Tomorrow the Radiation countdown begins. Five more treatments!!!!Then we have the Birthday countdown, only 9 more days!!!!The next two weeks will be a busy one with all the parties, school starting, etc..

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. The power of prayer is AWESOME. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, September 13, 2003 9:17 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a really good day today, as long as you don't count her getting sick 3 different times. The good news is, we now attribute her current nausea and vomiting to the Protocel working overtime. After a quick examination of the toliet, it was obvious that her nausea was actually lsying of the anaerobic cells in her body. Protocel targets anaerobic cells and rids the body of them in various ways. Cancerous cells happen to be anaerobic in nature. Of the many ways the body can rid itself of the cells, vomiting is the least desirable, but the quickest. We are assuming that since Cheyenne is taking the Protocel simultaneous with radiation and chemo, the Protocel is having to work overtime, thus the very heavy lsying that she has been going through for the past couple of weeks. After the 3rd time, her mom gave her a Zofran to prevent another attack. Even though Cheyenne has been sick to her stomach and vomiting, she is actually sick for very short times. The rest of the time she is a normal little silly girl, laughing, playing and having fun.

Today she attended James' birthday party. I didn't get to go, but Cheyenne and her Mom says that it was a blast. Afterwards, Cheyenne drug me all over the house playing various games. These times when she feels so very good, and she is having so much fun, I could almost forget that she is sick and has that tumor lurking in her head. She is such a special girl and we have such a good time just being together. She really is Daddy's little girl.

Tonight when you say your prayers, be sure and remember little Marissa and Zach. They are having a really hard time right now, as are their parents.

God bless you all and thank you so very much for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and the other children.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, September 12, 2003 10:16 PM CDT

Cheyenne had another pretty good day, a little nausea on and off, but it was short and passed quickly. In between the nausea, Cheyenne had quite a few laughs.

Last night I mentioned that she was going out the door to play a game of basketball with her older sister, Diana. Well, just as I predicted, Cheyenne beat the pants off of Diana. Afterwards, Cheyenne was still feeling great, so she challenged me to several games of cards. After beating me several times in Go Fish, Speed, and Uno, I changed the game to something I thought I understood, 5 card draw. Cheyenne beat me 48 out of 50 games! She was really on a roll last night.

Today, Cheyenne received a large package from the San Angelo Martial Arts Academy. It was loaded with all kinds of goodies. A new Sponge Bob backpack, Sponge Bob socks, a video on How to Learn to Play a Violin, markers, necklace/braclet kits, stuffed animals, etc...She was one happy little girl.

Immediately after radiation, we again left for the 3 1/2 hour drive home. I am sure Cheyenne has a million things planned for tomorrow, so it will probably be a busy day.

Again, thank you all for the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children. Please say an extra prayer for Zach and his family today.
God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's Dad

Thursday, September 11, 2003 7:57 PM CDT

Cheyenne's day today was a good day, at least most of it. She had her sick moments, but her nausea seemed to not be so strong. Probably out of the entire day, she seemed to be feeling sick a total of 30 minutes to 1 hour. Just in case, Dr. Estrada gave us another prescription of Zofran yesterday and we had it filled today. Everytime we get a prescription of Zofran filled, its price amazes me. I didn't know that a pill could cost so much!!!

As I am writing this, Cheyenne is feeling great. She is just going out the door to the basketball court to play ball against her big sister. Diana will get beat soooo bad. Just a few minutes ago, Diana and Cheyenne had a race of about 50 yards, Cheyenne smoked her!!

Cheyenne's big brother, Christopher, called yesterday. He is stationed in Alaska with the Air Force and was due to rotate out to Delaware in December of January. The Air Force is transferring Christopher to Goodfellow Air Force Base in San Angelo, TX to be close to Cheyenne. Isn't that awesome?? Cheyenne just adores Christopher. Of course it helps that Christopher has a 4 wheeler. Cheyenne can't wait to ride it.

Thank you again to everyone for all the wonderful prayers and words of encouragement for Cheyenne and all the other children. I can't tell you how much it means and makes a difference.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, September 10, 2003 8:38 PM CDT

Cheyenne woke up this morning full of spunk and vigor, feeling great for a change. Around noon, she complained a little of nausea, but nothing like the last few days. It is so wonderful to have our laughing, giggling, silly little girl back. Today was a day that we had fun just being around each other. Cheyenne's new phrase for the day, "fun sucker" (meaning someone is sucking all the fun out of something)from the movie "Freaky Friday".

At the 3pm Oncologist appointment, Cheyenne gave her favorite nurse, Sue, a little of a hard time kidding around with her. Cheyenne still does not like being stuck each Wednesday, and let her know that she still feels it. Dr Estrada was impressed with Cheyenne's eyesight and the way her eyes are looking. Not much of that "looking sideways" as she used to do. Her blood counts were still good, very similar to last week. We expect them to come up a little now that Cheyenne is on her break from Chemo since Sunday.

Cheyenne's first day of her 8 day radiation boost went well.

For those that do not yet know, sweet little Julia became an angel this morning. No more cancer, no more tumor, no more pain. If you have an opportunity, please drop by her website and let the Levy family know that they are in your prayers.

This afternoon when we found out about little Julia, Cheyenne had some profound things to say to her mom and me. She explained how God needed Julia in Heaven and that we shouldn't be sad. She went on to say that none of us know how long we have before God calls us to Heaven. It could be today or tomorrow. She said that she really wants to stay here with us, but if God wants her in Heaven, it is OK, she would miss us but would see us when we get there.

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children and their families.

God Bless you.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, September 9, 2003 10:15 PM CDT

Today was definately a chicken noodle soup day for Cheyenne. She has been sick to her stomach for quite a while now, but today was probably the worse. She was sick all day. It hurts me so much to see her like this. About the only thing she can eat when she feels this way is chicken noodle soup. And it came up once. When we are around other people, Cheyenne smiles, and you wouldn't know how she feels, but when we get alone it really hits her. Tomorrow we will speak to her oncologist to see if he has any ideas. At least, we are going to ask for another Zofran prescription.

At one point today right after radiation, she was feeling really bad. Upon returning to the apartment, she found that UPS had delivered a big box to her. The box, from her basketball coach, Coach Slate (I have heard that she is the best coach in the world), really made Cheyenne's day. Inside was a new basketball, signed by the Angelo State University Rambelles, her favorite College basketball team. Then to top it off, there was Kasey Gierke's signature. Kasey went to the same school as Cheyenne and writes in her guestbook so often. It was like having a celebrity sign the ball. Since the box arrived, Cheyenne has been bouncing and skipping around the apartment. She really is one tough little trooper. She just needs a little help sometimes, and Coach Slate provided that help today. Thanks Coach, thanks Rambelles, she really needed that.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. They are all so precious and there are so, so many of them. My life has completely changed and I have been so very blessed in getting to know these brave children and their parents. A few of these children really need extra prayers tonight:

Sweet little Julia is not doing very well at all right now and needs God's help to get her and her family through these rough times.

Marissa seems to be holding her own, but needs lots of prayers for healing.

Kody Bear is in the hospital fighting what might be an infection. We are praying that it is not an infection of his shunt, but some other minor infection that he can quickly overcome.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, September 8, 2003 11:40 PM CDT

Cheyenne experienced another day of feeling sick to her stomach on and off. On the way to San Antonio this morning she had an egg burrito, and it took about 3 minutes for it to come up. Although she complained of nausea the remainder of the day, she did not vomit again. This was actually a good sign, as she ate 2 good meals today and did not get sick after her 11pm Protocel. Lately the 11pm Protocel has been the kicker, causing her to get sick within minutes.

We spoke to Dr. Amerduri today in an attempt to determine the exact cause of her nausea. Basically, it could be anything. Since chemo is accumulative, and yesterday was the 42nd day and the last of the first schedule, it is the most likely cause. However, Dr. Amerduri also stated that it was possible for the radiation to have irritated the nerve that controls that function, or even the tumor swelling from the radiation could be pressing on that nerve. And then it even could be the Protocel. We should know if it is the chemo in the next day or so since she is on a 28 day schedule of not taking the Temodar.

In the meeting with Dr. Amerduri we asked several questions. It seems that the "boost" of 8 treatments, is not actually an increase in radiation. It merely pinpoints the radiation to a smaller area assuming that the tumor has shrunk. He stated that Cheyenne would actually be getting less radiation than now. Also, a few of the adverse side effects that she has been having should now go away. This includes her sore throat, and possibly the nausea, if radiation is the cause. The sore throat has been making it difficult for her to swallow her medication.

Please continue to pray for Cheyenne and all the other children linked to this website as well as all the other children faced with similar circumstances. The power of prayer is an awesome thing, and these children all need a miracle.

I have added a beautiful little girl named Celeste to the links at the bottom of the page. Celeste is battling the same tumor as Cheyenne and is also greatly benefiting from Protocel. Also, in yesterday's journal I mentioned that Kody was having surgery this morning. I understand that due to an infection in his shunt, surgery has been postponed. Kody is now in the hospital for a few days due to the infection and is need of prayers relating to the infection.

Thank you all so very much for keeping Cheyenne and the other children in your prayers.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, September 7, 2003 9:26 PM CDT

Today was a wonderful day for Cheyenne. After fully expecting her to have an off day after all of yesterday's strenuous activities, she felt great all day.

This morning she attended Sunday School at Trinity with all of her church friends. Following Sunday School, we attended Glen Meadows Baptist Church for our Granddaughter's (Alyssa) baptism. It was so nice to meet all those wonderful people that constantly support Cheyenne in prayer, guestbook entries, and cards. They are such nice people, and after attending church there, we discovered how nice the entire congregation is. Pastor Mathews (spelled with one "t" I understand), surprised Cheyenne and called her up to the front to introduce her to the congregation and said a prayer for her healing. Our bashful Cheyenne was a little embarrassed, but you could tell by her little smile that it meant an awfully lot to her. Also, today was Aloha Sunday at Glen Meadows. For those that didn't notice, Cheyenne made a point to get her pineapple prior to leaving.

Also we had the pleasure of talking to Loriann, Josh, and Benji (of www.caringbridge/tx/benji). They are members at Glen Meadows and fellow caringbridge friends.

After church, we met at Michael and Jodi's house for a celebration lunch for Alyssa's baptism. Cheyenne had a fantastic time with the kids while the adults all had a great visit.

Afterwards, we came home and Cheyenne had still not run out of juice. She had her friends James and Emily over for several hours, laughing, playing and having fun.

Tomorrow it is back to the old grind. BUT, ONLY 10 MORE DAYS OF RADIATION.

An update on a few of the caringbridge kids in case you haven't had an opportunity to check on them lately:

Kody is scheduled for surgery tomorrow at 8am in an attempt to correct eye damage from his tumor. He is need of lots of prayers that the surgery is successful and his body accepts the surgery.

Zach and his family are still in need of urgent prayers.

Julia and her family are also still in need of urgent prayers.

Noah is having donor cell tests next week and is need of prayers that the cells are now growing.

Marissa has been doing a little better, but is still very critical and need of prayers.

Ashley, I understand, has been progressing famously, but is still in need of prayers.

Maddie is doing extremely well, very similar to Cheyenne, but still in need of prayers. If you haven't met this wonderful young lady, visit her site. Her grace and caring for other people is awesome.

Jake, a Protocel survivor with the same diagnosis as Cheyenne, Maddie, Marissa, Julia, and Zach, is doing fantastic. If you haven't been on his site in a while, check out the new cute photo on the home page. You'll just fall in love with him.

Matthew is on a 6 month MRI schedule. The last MRI in July indicated that his tumor was stable. Please pray for the tumor to wither and go away so the next MRI will be a completely clear one.

I want to thank everyone for all the wonderful prayers for Cheyenne and the other children. A special thanks to Glen Meadows Baptist Church for all the prayers, notes, cards, and emails. You have a fantastic church.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, September 6, 2003 10:06 PM CDT

Today was an extremely busy and tiring day for Cheyenne, Mom and Dad. We actually wanted Cheyenne to rest this morning, but she insisted on joining her Church Youth Group in picking up trash along a stretch of hiway between San Angelo and Christoval. Cheyenne's Group joined the Youth Group from Calvary and spent about 2 1/2 hours picking up a truck load of trash.

Following the trash pickup, the Youth Groups met at the Paint Ball Park for 3 hours of Paint Ball war games. It was Cheyenne's first trip to the Paint Ball Park, but she did wonderful. Unfortunately she has a few pretty big bruises to prove it. She looks at them as her badge of honor.

After Paint Ball, we convinced Cheyenne to go home to get a little rest. The remainder of the day was spent watching videos and working around the house in preparation to leave for San Antonio tomorrow or the next day.

Cheyenne experienced very little nausea today, so hopefully it will be a thing of the past in a couple of days.

Tomorrow morning we are attending our granddaughter's baptism at Glen Meadows Baptist Church, 10:45 service. Cheyenne is really excited about that.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, September 5, 2003 9:47 PM CDT

After a long drive from San Antonio, we arrived home in San Angelo about an hour ago.

Today, Cheyenne's yukky sick feeling continued on and off most of the day. Although she has not yet thrown up, she has threatened a few times. We hope by tomorrow she will start feeling better again. We realize that the sickness could be the result of the chemo, or the changing of her chemo schedule, or even Protocel doing its job ridding the body of the anaerobic cells. And actually, the latter is more than likely the case, as in the past, a dose of Zofran would stop her nausea, and it does not appear to effect this. So, if this is the case, it is a good thing and will pass shortly.

Today at radiation Cheyenne arrived early to say good bye to Janie and Bocho Martinez. Janie finished radiation today and is off tomorrow for Carrizo Springs.

We have a full schedule planned this weekend. Tomorrow Cheyenne wants to participate in a Trash Pickup with the Youth Group at church. Sunday we are going to Glen Meadows Baptist Church for the Baptism of our granddaughter, Alyssa Fiveash. Then of course, it will be back to San Antonio. Cheyenne has only 10 MORE RADIATION TREATMENTS.

I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for Cheyenne and all the other children.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, September 4, 2003 9:20 PM CDT

FOUR MORE DAYS OF CHEMO BEFORE TAKING A MONTH BREAK! ELEVEN MORE DAYS OF RADIATION! YIPPEE!!!!

Today was a pretty good day for Cheyenne. Her nausea has been getting the best of her on and off since late last night. Generally, she has complained of slight nausea for the past couple of weeks, that horrible blah, yukky type of feeling. Last night after writing the journal, it finally caught up with her and she vomited. Then twice today she vomited. The good news is that the second she vomits, she feels much better and all the nausea goes away. Maybe she is taking after Maddie, as she also had a couple of weeks of that horrible, blah, yukky feeling a couple of weeks ago.

The GREAT NEWS, is that none of the tumor symptoms have reappeared. Today is the 15th day since stopping steroids, and we were afraid that with the swelling from radiation, chemo, and Protocel, a few of the symptoms might return. The only symptom that still exists, is the slight head tilt, and we are thinking that it might be a habit by now. Cheyenne's nurse at the Oncologist's office, commented that she could no longer see the head tilt.

Today Cheyenne had a full day of Home School, complete with school lunch, PE, and the works. For PE she walked down to the basketball court and played ball for about 30 minutes, and capped that off with a couple of 30 minute swims.

Cheyenne also waltzed through radiation today, with no problems, She actually slept through most of it. We had a few worries, as they stopped the machine midway through the 3rd round, and called someone to look at the machine. We are not sure what happened, but radiation resumed after about 10 to 15 minutes.

Thank you everyone for the wonderful prayers, cards, and guestbook entries. Cheyenne loves to read it all.

Please remember to include Cheyenne and all the other wonderful kids in your daily prayers. They help so very much.

God Bless You All.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, September 3, 2003 6:41 PM CDT

Cheyenne had another really good day today. She still complains throughout the day of a little nausea and an occasional headache, but it seems to pass fairly quickly.

Today Cheyenne met with her oncologist for her Wednesday appointment and as a result, there are a few changes being made. Cheyenne's blood counts were slightly down, but still within the range of a normal girl. Since this particular schedule of chemo is almost over, the counts won't really come into play this time. This next Sunday marks the 42nd day of dosing 110 mg of Temodar daily, running concurrent with radiation. On Monday Cheyenne will begin a 28 day rest with no chemotherapy. Following that break, she will begin a dosing schedule of 5 days of 250 mg of Temodar daily, followed by a 28 day break. This schedule should continue indefinately, dependant on blood counts and the tumor not becoming immune to the chemo. Also, due to Cheyenne's complaints of stomach nausea, the next four days of chemo has been changed back to being administered just prior to bed rather than in the morning.

Radiation went very smoothly. Even though we know Cheyenne hates going in there and wearing that mask, she does it without the shred of complaint. Many times she skips in or skips out, in a really good mood.

At radiation today, we met two beautiful children who were also being treated for cancer. Little Mallory of Poteet and Elena of San Antonio. I have added these precious children to my daily prayer list and thought I would mention them in case you have time to include them as well.

Thank you for continuing to lift Cheyenne and all the other children up to the Lord in Prayer.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, September 2, 2003 9:26 PM CDT

After a short stop at Christoval Middle School to pick up assignments, etc., we had a long safe trip to San Antonio, arriving just in time for radiation. Prior to going into radiation, we met Mr Martinez (Janie was in having treatment), who had a surprise. Janie had also gone home for the long weekend and baked a batch of cinnamon squares for Cheyenne. I snitched one, and boy are they good.

Since Cheyenne had such a good day today, after radiation we had dinner at Dave and Busters. For those who have never been to Dave and Busters, it is a large restaurant with tons of games to play. By the end of dinner, Cheyenne had over 2,000 tickets to cash in. She picked up a motorized coin separator/counter/roller with her tickets. For the past hour at the apartment, Cheyenne has been counting change, and recounting change, and recounting change..

One note I wanted to share with everyone concerning yesterday's journal. I mentioned the quiet time and how it effected me, mostly from all the thinking, and what ifing, second guessing the treatments, etc. After I wrote that journal last night, a couple of things happened that were really awesome. I visited a few new caringbridge sites that I had not visited before. In just a few minutes, I discovered several more children who have survived tumors and cancer, after having doctors give them only weeks or months to live. What did they have in common? PROTOCEL! Add these to the many that I was already aware of, it is really awesome. As if that wasn't enough, when I logged off the internet I turned on the television. As I was clicking through the channels, I came upon a religious channel with a pastor giving a sermon. What was the sermon on? Being positive, having complete faith in whatever you ask of GOD. Know for fact that GOD is providing it and never question it. This sermon was written for me!!

I have really been blessed lately. It seems that everytime I have a question or a problem, GOD basically hits me up beside the head and says, OK, here is what you need.

Thank you for all the prayers for Cheyenne and her new caringbridge friends. All these children and their parents have a very long, difficult path cut out for them. With your prayers and GOD's help, they will survive.

God Bless

Cheyenne's Dad

Monday, September 1, 2003 11:11 PM CDT

Well, the three day weekend is gone, and it is back to the old grind tomorrow. Doctor appointments, radiation, and so on. But for today, Cheyenne had another great day to finish off her three day weekend.

Today Cheyenne went to town (we live in the country) to go shopping for several of her friends. This turned into an almost all day affair, getting back home at 6pm. Just in time to leave again, to go to Karate class. She really enjoys seeing Sifu Troncoso and Sifu Howard, and all of her great friends at the MAA. They are such special people, they are all like family.

Tomorrow we again hit the road for San Antonio. As long as there are no bumps in the road ahead, we should be through with radiation on the 19th. YIPPEE. That will be so grand.

I had intended on writing a very long journal tonight. Today was really the first time since Cheyenne's diagnosis that I had not tagged along with her. My time alone at home was not the best. Being the only one at home, my thoughts and emotions ran a little wild, and I was planning on expressing some of my frustrations, emotions, and feelings on this journal tonight. But now that Cheyenne is home, she is happy, and she is making me laugh, all previous thoughts are gone. I am just so very thankful to have this precious, sweet, young lady as my daughter.

Don't forget to say a little prayer for all of those precious children out there that are suffering similar circumstances as Cheyenne.

Thank you for all the wonderful prayers, cards, notes, and thoughts. We are truly blessed. God bless all of you.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, August 31, 2003 10:23 PM CDT

Today was another full day for Cheyenne and family. We were up early this morning and off to Sunday School and Church. Today the 1030am service included both early and late service, so we were able to see a lot of friends that we don't normally see.

Cheyenne's friend Eric came over after church, and they ran and played all afternoon. At one point I heard a loud noise on the side of the house, looked up and Cheyenne went flying by at about Mach III chasing Eric. Cheyenne was always known for being able to run like a deer, so after seeing this, I guess some of it has returned.

The Shriner Circus was in town, so this evening we picked up Cheyenne's friend James, and met Michael and his family at the Circus. It was a good time for all.

It is now 1035pm, and I am totally exhausted and ready for bed. Cheyenne, on the other hand, is hula dancing in the living room. I have no idea where she gets that energy.

If you would, please say a prayer for all the other children diagnosed with illnesses such as Cheyenne's. Zach, Julia, Ashley, and Baby Noah are still in need of special prayers as they are having a pretty rough time now.

Thank you and God Bless you.

Cheyenne's Dad

Saturday, August 30, 2003 9:50 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a wonderful day today. We let her sleep in this morning since she normally keeps very late hours. Her doctor says that the chemo and radiation will make her tired and she should take naps throughout the day. He obviously does not know Cheyenne. She is on the go from the minute she wakes up until late at night, never tiring. The later it gets, the more games she finds to play, or tv shows to watch.

As a result of her sleeping in, we forgot that today was the Promotion Test at the Martial Arts Academy, followed by a birthday party. Cheyenne really wanted to see her friends again, but after taking a little heat over it, she forgave us.

Cheyenne's friend, James, came over this afternoon and they had a great time. About the time James arrived, the sky opened up and it rained for several hours. In West Texas, rain is a blessing and a gift from God, so no one EVER wishes the rain away. The rain didn't really dampen Cheyenne's and James' activities, as they had lots fun. I heard laughing and giggling most of the afternoon. It was great.

Tomorrow is setting up to be another activity packed day. One of the things that we learned from all the parents that have traveled this path before us, take one day at a time and live it to the fullest.

I want to thank everyone for visiting the other children's sites and praying for them and their parents. We are all in this together. A guestbook entry saying hello and letting them know that you are praying for them and thinking of them is a wonderful thing. I know from experience, that it can lift a person out of dispair when all seems lost. Ashley, Zach, Julia, and Marissa Faith are all having a pretty rough time right now and in need of urgent prayers.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, August 29, 2003 11:40 PM CDT

Today was a family day for Cheyenne and the family, spending most of the time just being together talking and laughing. It is such a beautiful thing to see Cheyenne laugh.

Prior to going to her radiation appointment, we stopped by our San Antonio office and visited with several people there. Cheyenne really likes to visit the "girls" there. If it were up to her, I believe she would want to go to lunch with them everyday. While at the office she also picked up a huge package that was sent to her from a Customs Agent from California. Inside was a San Pedro, California sweatshirt and hat. On the outside was fingernail polish, candy, and the works. This made her a happly little girl.

Radiation went very smoothly, and afterwards we hit the road for San Angelo and the big THREE DAY WEEKEND. She has so many plans this weekend. I haven't told her this, but there is no way for her to do everything she plans in three days.

I want to thank everyone for visiting the other children's sites and praying for them and their parents. We are all in this together. A guestbook entry saying hello and letting them know that you are praying for them and thinking of them is a wonderful thing. I know from experience, that it can lift a person out of dispair when all seems lost. Ashley, Zach, Julia, and Marissa Faith are all having a pretty rough time right now and in need of urgent prayers.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, August 28, 2003 7:36 PM CDT

Today was pretty much an uneventful day, but still full of grins and giggles for Cheyenne who spent the day as any 11 year old girl.

Her ear doesn't seem to bother her as much as before. We have ear drops for pain, however, Cheyenne thus far has not allowed us to give them to her. We believe that by resuming the Zrytec and nasal spray, the ears are now draining properly.

Cheyenne does still have a little of an upset stomach, but she doesn't complain about it as much as before. We have noticed that by slightly reducing her dosage of Protocel, the stomach problems diminish quite a bit.

The steroids appear to be wearing off, as now her face isn't as puffy as before. Fortunately, none of the tumor symptoms are returning as the steroids wear off. She doesn't see double, have headaches, have problems reading and her balance is still the best it has been since diagnosis. As a matter of fact, I have a little story concerning her balance. Yesterday evening, Cheyenne was carrying things into the bedroom, and needed to turn the light on even though her hands were full. What would any little girl do? (Well I don't know about any little girl but this sure is Cheyenne.) She stands on one foot and flips the switch with the toe on her other foot. My balance has not been that good in 30 years.

Also, I guess Cheyenne is becoming accustomed to radiation every day. I noticed today that she was skipping on the way into the Treatment facility. Once inside, she gave the technicians a little of a hard time, saying that today was the "I had a dream speech" holiday, and she shouldn't have to have radiation. They told her she could take off Monday instead.

Home schooling is going well, but I'm not sure who is teaching who. I didn't realize that Cheyenne was as intelligent as she is. Lately I have accused her of becoming smarter everyday, and she tells me it is the Protocel.

There are still several children and their parents that need prayers. If you have time, please stop by their websites to let them know that you are thinking of them and praying for them. Ashley, who had surgery yesterday and Zach who is at home and not doing very well are only two of the many currently in need.

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful prayers, guestbook entries, emails, and cards. Cheyenne just loves to read them all.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, August 27, 2003 8:04 PM CDT

Today was a very busy Doctor appointment day for Cheyenne.

Her first appointment was with Dr. Estrada, the Oncologist. Dr. Estrada discovered that Cheyenne's ear problems were not radiation or tumor related, but allergy related. Cheyenne has had allergies for quite awhile, but we had quit giving her the Zyrtec and Nasocart when she began the steriods. It seems that now she is no longer on the steriods, the ears aren't draining properly. So Dr. Estrada prescribed ear drops and we have resumed Zyrtec and Nasocart. Hopefully the ear problem will be cleared up within a few days. The stomach problem is another issue. Dr. Estrada wants to keep Cheyenne on the current chemo schedule to have the maximum effect with the radiation. So as long as we do not actually have extreme nausua, we will continue with this schedule. Cheyenne had her blood counts taken again today. As Dr. Estrada put it, "they are of a healthy 11 year old girl". So far, so good. Cheyenne is tolerating the chemo sooo well it is amazing.

Following radiation, we also met with Dr. Amerturi, the Radiologist. We really didn't learn that much, other than he has added an 8 day "boost" treatment to the current schedule since she is tolerating it so well. That puts us at having the last day of radiation on September 19. Also Dr. Amerduri is working on "refocusing" the radiation to a smaller area due to assumed shrinkage of the tumor. By refocusing, he can also increase the dosage with little side effects. One bit of bad news relating to radiation, we were told that the hair loss may be permanent. There apparently is no way to tell except by time. Fortunately, thus far, the hair loss can still be covered by other hair. She may just have a higher hairline than normal.

Also a "real" important note concerning Cheyenne's Home Schooling. Apparently everyone thought I was doing the Home Schooling. Actually, my participation was minimal. Donna is the Home School Teacher and doing a wonderful job. I don't think I could handle it as well as she does. I have never been blessed with patience.

Please keep Lorraine (Nolan's mom), Julia, Noah, and Marissa Faith, Ashley, and Zach in your prayers tonight.

Thank you and God Bless everyone for all the prayers.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, August 26, 2003 8:39 PM CDT

Today was a pretty good day for Cheyenne and family. Cheyenne is still complaining of an ear ache and we are uncertain of the cause. We attempted to see the Radiologist today, but the earliest we can see him will be 430pm tomorrow. We also have a 3pm appointment with the Oncologist tomorrow, so between the two, we hope to find out what is going on with her ears. The nurse at radiology stated that it was probably due to the Oncologist taking her off steroids, and the nurse at the Oncologist stated that it was probably due to radiation. I am hoping that it is neither, just swimmers ear from her being a little fish in the pool.

Cheyenne also complained quite a bit about her "stomach hurting". However, I noticed that immediately after radiation, she asked for money to buy Cheetos from the vending machine at the Treatment Center. So I take that as a good sign.

Today was Cheyenne's first day of Home Schooling. I have decided that they do not pay teachers enough money.

Recently our urgent prayer list has been getting longer and longer each day. In addition to Lorraine (Nolan's mom), Julia, Noah, and Marissa Faith, please include the following children today:

Ashley, placed in the hospital with pneumonia and also anticipating the results of her MRI.

Zach, also suffering from this horrible tumor, not doing very well at all the last few days.

Thank you and God Bless everyone for all the prayers.

Cheyenne's dad

Monday, August 25, 2003 8:16 PM CDT

This morning Cheyenne picked up her books at school in Christoval (to help us Home School until treatment ends) and it was off to San Antonio. Of course, Cheyenne read to us the entire trip, 3 hours. I couldn't read that long out loud if I wanted to!

Cheyenne is feeling great except for a minor on again, off again, ear ache that has been bothering her for the past couple of days. We aren't sure if it is from swimming or from the radiation. At present we trying over the counter ear drops in the event it is swimmers ear. We will have the doctor look at her ear Wednesday during the appointment.

Cheyenne noticed today that her hair loss from radiation has started. We were hoping that it would be confined to the very lower part of her hairline, however, it appears as if it will a little higher than the Doctor expected. But, that too will pass. I'm pretty sure that most of it will still be hidden by the hair that is left.

Please continue to pray for the following parents and children.

Lorraine, Nolan's mom, upon the loss of little Nolan from this horrible tumor yesterday. Nolan is now free of this tumor and pain and sitting with God as an angel.

Baby Noah to have a positive results from his tests this week.

Sweet little Julia for her continued healing.

Marissa Faith, rushed to the hospital tonight by ambulance. Also fighting this horrible tumor and a bleed from radiation and chemo.

Also our prayers were answered for Benji, whose MRI today came back completely clear. GOD is so AWESOME. Thank you GOD.

Thank you and God Bless everyone for all the prayers.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, August 24, 2003 8:17 PM CDT

Tonight, rather than writing of Cheyenne, there are a number of parents and children that I have come to know that are in desperate need of prayers. Please join me in lifting these wonderful parents and children up to the Lord in Prayer.

Little Nolan, with whom I have become quite attached and speak of so often, went to be with the Lord today. He is now a little angel in heaven, not suffering from this horrible tumor or pain. Please pray for his mom, Lorraine, and the rest of his family during this very difficult time.

Baby Noah has had so many setbacks for the past few days and weeks and can't seem to catch a break. He has several tests early next week. Please pray for him to finally have a few positive results from his tests.

Sweet little Julia has had a really rough week and hasn't improved very much at all. Please pray for her continued healing.

Also Benji, who is doing very well, is going in Monday for his MRI. Please join me in praying for a completely clear MRI.

Thank you and God Bless everyone for all the prayers.

Cheyenne's dad

Saturday, August 23, 2003 10:28 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a really fun filled and feel good day. There were no complaints today of sickness, so I hope we have mastered the dosage amounts and schedules again. She attended the UMA Karate Tournament in San Antonio this morning and part of this afternoon. She was able to see many of her Karate friends from the MAA and several other schools. It was rather strange, being there and not watching her compete.

After leaving the tournament, we drove to San Angelo, arriving just in time for Cheyenne to go to the Disney on Ice with her friend James. James and his mom were so thoughtful, when they purchased their tickets, they thought of Cheyenne and picked up a ticket for her to go with them. AND, I REALLY shouldn't mention this, James gave Cheyenne a bouquet of beautiful flowers.

Also an update on last night's journal, Cheyenne woke up this morning and the tooth that was giving her problems during radiation came out on it's own overnight.

There are a few kids out there that are going through some really rough times tonight and need alot of prayers and support.

Little Nolan was rushed to the emergency room earlier tonight by ambulance, and was not doing very well. Please pray for him and his family so we can get Nolan back home.

Baby Noah has had many setbacks for the past few days and weeks, and has several tests early next week. He needs prayers to finally have a few positive results from his tests.

Sweet little Julia has had a really rough week and hasn't improved very much at all. Please pray for her continued healing.

Also Benji, who is doing very well, is going in Monday for his MRI. Please join me in praying for a completely clear MRI.

Thank you and God Bless everyone for all the prayers.

Cheyenne's dad

Friday, August 22, 2003 7:26 PM CDT

Cheyenne seemed to be back to her old self today after a pretty sick day yesterday. There were a few complaints of a minor headache this morning, and a little sick feeling, but it soon went away. We are hoping that her body has become acclimated with the new chemo schedule and we won't change it again anytime soon. Also, for next few days, we slightly reduced her dosage of Protocel to a level that will be a little more tolerable since she was just taken off steroids.

At radiation, the mask was still an extremely tight fit and bothered her quite a bit, but her puffy cheeks should start returning to normal now that she is off steroids. As luck would have it, in conjunction with the tight fit, she is losing a tooth on one side of her jaw, and the mask pushes on it causing it to be rather uncomfortable for her. I've offered to pull it for her, but she just gives me that look, as if saying "I don't think so!".

Tomorrow we hope to stop by a Karate Tournament in San Antonio prior to going to San Angelo for the weekend. Cheyenne will be able to see all of her friends from the Martial Arts Academy as well as the other schools that normally attend the tournaments. She should have a good time.

Little Julia Levy, also diagnosed with this same tumor, is not doing so well right now. Please keep her in your prayers and if you have time, jump over to her caringbridge website and let her mom know that you are thinking of her sweet little angel.

God Bless everyone for all the wonderful prayers and words of encouragement. Thank you.

Cheyenne's dad

Thursday, August 21, 2003 9:52 PM CDT

Today wasn't such a good feeling day, but none the less, a good day for Cheyenne.

The good news first. As I have mentioned, Cheyenne is taking an alternative treatment called Protocel as well as the standard radiation and chemotherapy. Protocel has known specific symptoms that occur when the treatment is working. Just last night, over concerns that I had not seen obvious known symptoms of the Protocel working, I posted a question on a support network asking if the chemo would possibly interfere with the effectiveness of the Protocel. This morning prior to getting an answer on the support forum, God provided me with the answer. Cheyenne developed most of the known symptoms overnight. This means, the Protocel is WORKING.

Now the bad news. Dr Estrada not only removed Cheyenne from steroids yesterday, but for some reason changed the schedule of her chemo from taking it just prior to bed to first thing in the morning. Apparently between her body adjusting to the new schedule and the Protocel kicking in, Cheyenne was sick to her stomach this morning and then again at around 3:15pm. Due to the 3:15 sickness, we did not have enough time to administer the anti-nausea medication prior to radiation, so we missed today's radiation. I didn't care to chance Cheyenne getting asphixiated on the table. She lies face up on the table with a mask holding her face tight against the table. Not a good thing if you think you may get sick.

As of the writing of this journal, Cheyenne is back to her old self and getting ready for bed. Hopefully we will have a better feeling day tomorrow when we figure out a good Temodar and Zofran schedule (and we had it just right).

Thank you everyone for keeping Cheyenne and the other children in your prayers. It really makes a difference. Never again will I under estimate the power of prayer.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Wednesday, August 20, 2003 9:32 PM CDT

Today was another good news day. Cheyenne felt great all day. We visited Dr. Estrada, the Oncologist at 3pm, and I guessed it yesterday, he is totally amazed at how well she is doing. She is tolerating the chemo and radiation so well, he removed her from the steroids today. We had thought it would be cut in half today, and maybe removed next week, but today was the day. Now we really have to pray some symptoms do not return. Also her blood counts were taken since the chemo Temodar causes bone marrow suppression. Again, great news, she still has the blood of a healthy 11 year old.

The 4pm radiation treatment was again a snap. Cheyenne just gets it done without complaint. Says hello to all the other patients, hugs half of them, and just cheers up the entire place (And there are a lot of patients in the place). She has become quite popular at the treatment facility, with both the patients and staff. Every now and then, such as yesterday, one of the older patients gets a little emotional seeing such a young girl being treated. But there is our little trooper, giving them smiles, hugs, and telling them that everything will be ok. What an inspiration!

Please keep Nolan in your prayers for the next few weeks so we can pull him out of this little bump in the road he has hit. Also, McKenzie has had a good MRI this week, but is still in need of lots of prayers. It appears that they may change her chemo treatment, possibly to the same as Cheyenne, and they have also recently started Protocel. Parents of children diagnosed with this tumor have awfully hard, almost impossible decisions to make, but with the help of God, we will overcome.

Thank you all for the wonderful entries, the prayers, cards, emails, and generous gifts. As I mentioned a few days ago, Cheyenne is a miracle in progress. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Tuesday, August 19, 2003 10:14 PM CDT

My little trooper had another good day today. We didn't do much other than stay around the house and go to the radiation appointment, but there were still a lot of laughs and giggles around here. This evening Cheyenne and I spent several hours answering emails and writing thank your cards to many, many wonderful people that have been so kind to her and the family.

Today we did make a semi-decision on Cheyenne's school. We have been told that in order to be enrolled in school, Cheyenne would have to attend at least 2 hours a day, which is impossible. If we home school Cheyenne, the school will loan us the same books and homework assignments she would be doing if in school. At the conclusion of her radiation treatments, she could enroll in school and will not have missed anything. So, it appears as if we will be home schooling Cheyenne. We hope to call the school tomorrow with the decision.

Everyday I am amazed at the inspiration that this little girl gives people, complete strangers, friends, family, and yes, even me. She has such faith, poise, courage, and stamina. She is so kind, gentle and caring. She is a very special little girl.

Tonight and over the next few weeks, would you please join me in prayers for Nolan and his mom. Mom is in the midst of a decision on treatment for Nolan and Nolan has not had a real good week.

Thank you for all the prayers and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Roy

Monday, August 18, 2003 9:28 PM CDT

Today was Cheyenne's first day of school for the year, only if she could go 1/2 day. She had sooo much fun. She just loves school so much. After Cheyenne was picked up at noon to start toward San Antonio for her radiation appointment, she talked constantly about school for 3 hours. Not a 30 second break. She gave us a minute by minute account of the entire day. Also, on top of that, when she would temporarily run out of something to say, she would pick up her school schedule and tell us where her classmates were at that particular minute. She read every piece of paper that the school gave her, out loud, and several times. At one point, she was fairly quiet for a couple of minutes, at around 3:20pm. Then she said, the bell just rang, school is over.

We still don't know exactly how the school problem will be resolved. The Christoval ISD will do anything they can to help, but apparently there are some conflicting state laws on how many days a child must attend school vs schooling for children with problems such as Cheyenne's. The Agency responsible for that is looking into "legal" issues on questions that I asked. We had hoped that Cheyenne could go to school for 4 hours on Monday prior to leaving for San Antonio each week and do the work long distance. But now I am not sure. The Agency that controls that kept suggesting that we drop out of Christoval ISD and sign her up in San Antonio. But Cheyenne doesn't want that, so I don't want that. We did learn, however, that we can declare her Home Schooled, and the laws wouldn't apply. She just couldn't go to school for the 1/2 day a week, which is what she wants. We should know something within the next day of so.

Health wise, Cheyenne had another great day. No problems, very few symptoms, and no complaints. We did learn today at radiation, that the Doctor is considering a change in the number of treatments for her. Originally there were to be 34 treatments, then the Doctor mentioned 36. What we did not know was that he had changed it from 34 to 28 treatments, with a possiblity of 8 more at the conclusion of the 28. He will return from vacation this week and we should find out.

Again, thank you to everyone. The prayers are so wonderful. Through GOD All Things Are Possible. God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Sunday, August 17, 2003 11:20 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

Today was another WONDERFUL day for Cheyenne. If you did not read yesterday's journal entry, pls go back and read it. The Martial Arts Academy and the Los Carnales Motorcycle Club sponsored a fund raiser for Cheyenne, and she had the most awesome, wonderful day.

Today you couldn't even tell Cheyenne was exhausted when she went to bed last night. She was up early, to Sunday School, then to church. Later in the afternoon, the Church Youth Group had a party out at the lake. Cheyenne and several friends attended and again, great fun. I did not get to make it, but Chey's mom says Cheyenne was swimming like a fish, jumping off the dock backwards, playing volleyball, having a ball.

Tomorrow it is again up early, and off to school for a 1/2 day. Cheyenne is rather upset that we have to leave by noon in order to make it to San Antonio for her first radiation treatment of the week. We find out tomorrow how school will work with her being in San Antonio so much.

Just to let you all know, the prayers are working. This morning I noticed that Cheyenne's normal "head tilt" had greatly diminished since yesterday. Her eyes also look normal, rather than one lazy eye. For those of you that don't know, the head tilt and lazy looking eye are standard symptoms of this tumor. Most of the other symptoms have gone away within the past week or so (her bad balance, headaches, double vision, etc). She did complain of a little dizziness today for about 1 minute, but nothing serious. I can't wait to see Dr. Estrada's reaction during the regular Wednesday visit. We are hoping for another reduction in steroid (predisone) Wednesday. Hopefully, it will be cut in 1/2 to 10mg a day. After that, the next cut will be to eliminate it.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers. God is Awesome. We are a miracle in progress.

Cheyenne's dad

Roy

Sunday, August 17, 2003 0:27 AM CDT

Prepare yourselves for a LONG journal entry today. Cheyenne and family spent the day at a fund raiser event, had a fabulous time, and have to tell you all about it.

The Martial Arts Academy and the Los Carnales Motorcycle Club sponsored a fund raiser event today at the LCMC club house here in San Angelo. I have never seen so many people in my life, all there for my little girl.

The day started with Cheyenne meeting Mr. Joe Holguin at his business for the trip to the fund raiser. Mr. Holguin presented Cheyenne with her very own leather dew rag (skull cap embroidered with Harley Davidson, Cheyenne’s name, and her nickname of “The Champ”), a Harley T-shirt from the Big Spring, Tx Harley Davidson shop, and a really cool pair of sun glasses. After changing, Cheyenne crawled on the back of Joe’s Harley, held on real tight, and was escorted with a “ton” of bikes all the way to the club house. It was an escort in style. At lights and stop signs, traffic was stopped and everything.

There were many more bikes waiting for her there along with many other people from other local organizations. The Martial Arts Academy had a huge turnout, there were Los Carnales members from Chapters in San Angelo, Mcamey, Hockley, Midland, and Lubbock. The San Angelo Christian Motor Cycle Club, the Survivors Motor Cycle Club, the San Angelo Sports Bike Motor Cycle Club, the PT Cruisers Club of San Angelo, as well as many other individuals from other Motor Cycle Clubs were also there in force. Cheyenne’s basketball coach and team members, many, many friends and family members, and many, many supporters from around the area came out. A band called “The Solid Lifters” came to play music. Mr Oxley of Oxley Auction donated his time for an auction of a room full of items collected by the Martial Arts Academy and the LCMC.

The event started with a BBQ lunch (made by what I have been told is the best BBQ cook in all of Texas and a member of the San Angelo Chapter of the LCMC). The BBQ and all of the trimmings were donated by many local businesses in and around San Angelo. After the lunch, there was an auction held of all the items that were also donated by many wonderful businesses and individuals. After the auction, “The Solid Lifters” played for several hours. It was a fantastic time for all, especially, Cheyenne.

Before getting into the rest of the story, I need to tell you that up until today, we had never met the majority of the people at the event. These wonderful people came from all over the county, the state, and city to help Cheyenne. As I sat there watching the members of the LCMC pay hundreds of dollars for a $20 item at the auction, only to donate it back, and knowing that they were complete strangers until today, gave me a very special feeling. The debt that I owe these wonderful people, especially the Martial Arts Academy and the Los Carnales Motorcycle Club can never be repaid. They are all such wonderful people. As Kody’s mom had suggested in an earlier guestbook entry, I truly did learn today that bikers may be rough and tough on the outside, but they are angels on the inside. As I tried to tell them at the event, words cannot express the feelings that I have from their actions today. They all were truly a blessing. God Bless each and every one.

Also today Benji Zello (www.caringbridge.org/tx/benji) and his family came to the event. What a wonderful family. Cheyenne and Benji really hit it off. It was so very nice to finally meet someone that we talk to via email and guestbook entries everyday, and share so many of the same experiences. The Zello’s are moving in another few weeks, but we have made lifelong friends.

Even though Cheyenne had a GREAT time, we knew that she was over doing it. By the time we arrived back at home, she was one tired little girl. The heat, excitement, and long hours took their toll. Not necessarily in her symptoms, but she was totally exhausted.

God Bless everyone for all their prayers, thoughts, concerns, emails, and cards. They are an inspiration that keeps us going day to day. Also God Bless all the wonderful people that came out today to help my little girl. You are wonderful people.

PS: Photo’s to follow.

Cheyenne’s dad
Roy

Friday, August 15, 2003 11:27 PM CDT

Cheyenne is still doing great after the reduction in dosage for steroid and Zofran. She had an extremely busy day and felt wonderful all day long.

After her radiation treatment in the afternoon, we hit the road for San Angelo. Enroute we took a shortcut through Christoval (where Cheyenne goes to school). As we topped the hill and Cheyenne saw her school, she shrieked with joy and said, "There's my school, I Lovvvvvvve my school."

All day, between her starting school Monday morning and the big fund raiser event tomorrow, Cheyenne has been super hyper. As she put it, she is really "psyched"about both. She can't wait to see all her friends, and of course, to ride on the back of Joe's Harley.

I want to again thank everyone for all the wonderful gifts, cards, letters, emails and guestbook entries. Reading all the encouraging messages has become the favorite part of her day. There are so many special people in the world.

God Bless you All

Cheyenne's dad

Roy

Thursday, August 14, 2003 9:12 PM CDT

Let me begin today with some good news from some of our caringbridge family members as well as a new friend we met in San Antonio.

Kody (linked to this site) was diagnosed in January 02 with a brainstem glioma. He had another MRI Wednesday, and the tumor is still STABLE. That means no growth in 1 1/2 years. FANTASTIC WONDERFUL NEWS. He has now been put on a 9 month MRI schedule so he and his family can lead a semi-normal life for awhile. He continues to need your prayers for the tumor to shrink and for his eyesight and balance to improve.

Mr Bocho Martinez, who we have mentioned several times recently, not only was released from ICU, but the hospital is releasing him tomorrow. A true MIRACLE. The doctors are astounded.

I am so amazed at the power of prayer.

Cheyenne had another WONDERFUL day. Lots of laughs and giggles all day. Not only was today her first real day after reducing her dosage of steroid, but at the doctor's advise, we also reduced her dosage of Zofran (anti-nausea) to once a day. It did not seem to affect her at all. She seemed to feel better today and her balance is still pretty good. Now we are working on reducing the steroid to zero over the next 2 weeks if she holds up. One of the many adverse side effects of the steroid, is weight gain and puffy cheeks and face. Even though Cheyenne has only gained a little over a pound in the past week, her face is rounder. She doesn't say much, but I noticed today there were tears in her eyes as she was looking in the mirror. We had a long talk, and she is afraid that kids at school may call her names because of it. She is hoping to at least attend the first day of school in Christoval, however, we won't know how it will work until we meet with the Principal Monday morning.

God bless everyone for the wonderful prayers, cards, emails, gifts, and concerns.

Cheyenne's dad
Roy

Wednesday, August 13, 2003 8:07 PM CDT

Today was another wonderful day for Cheyenne and family. We were up early to go by my office in San Antonio and visited with everyone there. Cheyenne was able to go to lunch with the "girls". She had a wonderful time. We want to also drop into the San Angelo office, but can't until after radiation, since we are on a 5 day a week radiation schedule here in San Antonio.

At Dr. Estrada's office, Cheyenne's blood counts were taken and all is still good. Also, since Cheyenne is doing so well tolerating both radiation and chemo, the steroids (Prednisone) were again reduced. She is now on 10 mg twice daily. Dr. Estrada hopes to reduce it again next Wednesday and maybe by the following week, take her off of it. That would be a good thing, as Cheyenne's face has swollen a little, and the radiation mask is becoming a very tight fit.

At radiation today, we saw Mrs. Janie Martinez, mentioned in earlier journals. The power of prayer is so awesome. So many of you prayed for her husband (Bocho) when we learned of his heart attack last week. The day after everyone said they were praying for him, he sat up in bed, his color has returned, and he is feeling great. He should be released from ICU today or tommorrow. Of course, Cheyenne says she is dropping by to visit him as soon as he gets a room. (There should be a new photo posted of Cheyenne and Janie).

One last note of inspiration. Since this website was started, we have had at least one person everyday write and say that they have either found God or had their faith restored as a result of reading Cheyennne's website and her couragous battle with this tumor. GOD IS AWESOME.

God Bless you all

Cheyenne's dad
Roy

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 9:07 PM CDT

Cheyenne had another pretty good day today. Some of her double vision returned for a few minutes off and on, had a slight headache, and had a yukky feeling for awhile, but all in all, she had a pretty good day. Actually, these symptoms are expected. Radiation and chemo both cause swelling which results in similar symptoms. Protocel also has specific symptoms when it starts working.

One thing is for sure, Cheyenne is soooo excited about the fund raiser next Saturday. That is all she can talk about. The bikes, PT Cruisers, friends, band, etc., really has her cranked up.

Cheyenne spent about an hour today reading all the wonderful cards that are coming in the mail as well as reading her guestbook entries. She has made some awfully good friends.

Tomorrow is our 2 doctor appointment day. Blood counts should be taken at Dr Estrada's office. We are also hoping for a slight reduction in steroid since she is tolerating the chemo and radiation so well. Of course, Cheyenne says, "That doctor is not sticking me with a needle again." She always talks tough, but I am sure she won't try a "spinning heel kick" if he comes in with a needle in his hand.

Thank you and God Bless everyone for the wonderful prayers, cards, and emails for our little angel.

Cheyenne's Dad

Roy

Monday, August 11, 2003 7:09 PM CDT

Hey,
This is Cheyenne,
Today we woke up and drove to San Antonio it was a long drive. Before we left, I got to go by and see Joe Holguin at his shop. Joe asked me to ride to the fundraiser next Saturday on the back of his Harley. Tami said it would be ok, since no other girls get to ride on the back with Joe, except her. When we got here we had to go do my daily treatment. It is weird it seemed too tight {the mask}, then we came home and swam. That’s when I started to see double for about 10 minutes. It’s was about 30 minutes until I got out of the pool, and thought I would write in the journal myself. I really appreciate all the prayers . That’s all I really need are prayers. Even though I saw double today I really think it is helping {all the prayers}. The radiation seems to be getting shorter and shorter each time. But it still is kind of scary. Talk to you later tonight .
God’s Blessings
Cheyenne

P.S. Our new friends the Martinez’s (from the radiation treatment center) could use some big prayers today. Mr. Martinez (Bocho) had a heart attack last Friday night, and is still in ICU today. His wife is Janie the one with cancer, who cried last week Monday when she saw me having a hard time going to treatment. I prayed for Mr. M. through my whole treatment today. Thank you for your prayers too.

Sunday, August 10, 2003 8:52 PM CDT

First of all, I need to tell you about another little San Angelo resident that is need of prayers. Benji (www.caringbridge.org/tx/benji) is due for his MRI within a couple of weeks and really needs our prayers. I have added a link to his website below so you can drop in on him.

Today was another wonderful day for Cheyenne. A couple of things happened this weekend that I want to share with you. Last night Cheyenne was at her friends and neighbors house having fun. When it came time for me to pick her up, she pleaded with me to let her spend the night. She kept saying over and over again, "I haven't felt this good in weeks" Then to make the point, she pointed at a pickup truck and said, " Look, see that truck, there is only one of them." Apparently her double vision has gone away. With an aurgument like that, how could I say no.

Later this afternoon, Cheyenne was in the house prancing around, giggling and acting up. I looked up and she was walking "heel to toe" back and forth across the kitchen, smiling from ear to ear. What makes this so big, is that everytime she has gone to a doctor, they ask her to walk heel to toe, and she hasn't been able to do it since diagnosis on the 9th. Everyday God showers Cheyenne with more blessings.

As a family we also had a great day. Cheyenne's Grandpa and grandma drove up from Paint Rock, TX and met us in church. Afterwards, we met at our house and Grandma had bags of school clothes for Cheyenne. Of course Cheyenne modeled the clothes for all of us to admire. Later in the evening, we went to Cheyenne's brother's (Michael) house and Cheyenne spent the evening playing with her niece and nephew.

Also, thanks to Nolan and his mom (http://nolans_hope.tripod.com/), Cheyenne has discovered her artistic ability. Since receiving an entire box of artist supplies from Nolan, Cheyenne has become quite the artist. A few people will be receiving samples in the mail shortly.

Tomorrow it is back to San Antonio for the radiation treatments. Hopefully, I will remember to stop by the apartment and pick up her music.

Thank you everyone for all the wonderful prayers, emails, and concern. The prayers are definately working miracles for our Cheyenne.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Roy

Saturday, August 9, 2003 9:12 PM CDT

Cheyenne was almost her old self today. Up early, and off to Karate. At the Martial Arts Academy she visited with Master Ector Troncoso, Master George Howard, and many of her friends. You could tell she wanted to be out there with them. As they were practicing their forms, Cheyenne was sitting on the chair, moving her arms in unison with them.

After Karate, she planned on going to the movies with some of her Karate friends, but instead spent the afternoon and evening at Emily's house dowm the street, swimming and having fun.

I didn't notice even a single moment of sickness today, it is so wonderful.

We are so blessed and everyday brings additional blessings. Today very good friends and members of our extended karate family, Master Ector Troncoso of the Martial Arts Academy and Joe Holguin of the LCMC (motorcycle club) and a member of the Martial Arts Academy rallied around their little Cheyenne. They are planning a fundraiser to help with Cheyenne's expenses next Saturday here in San Angelo. I understand there will be BBQ, dancing, and many Motorcycle activities. Of course Cheyenne can't wait. The rumor has it she will get a ride on Joe's Harley. (If it ok with her mom!)

Thank you and God Bless everyone for all the prayers, emails and notes of encouragment.

God Bless
Cheyenne's Dad
Roy

Friday, August 8, 2003 7:38 PM CDT

First I wanted to just share with everyone what we all know to be true, that is the power of prayer. Nolan, who I mentioned in yesterday's journal in need of desperate prayers, was released from the hospital and is already back home. GOD is so AWESOME. He still has a long way to go and will need prayers for some time. He is one special little boy.

Cheyenne had another really good day today. A few stomach aches, occassional sick feelings, and semi-flu symptoms on and off, but overall feels real good. Our radiation appointment was moved up to 1:30 today due to equipment malfunctions, and even though I really goofed up, it all went well. Due to the earlier time, and taking a different car to radiation, I forgot to bring her Christian music CD and her favorite stuffed animal that the radiation technician gave her. I had to promise to never do that again.

Cheyenne felt so good today we made the trip back to San Angelo. She plans on riding her horse tomorrow and seeing friends, which is always good.

Thank you everyone for all the prayers, cards, gifts, and notes of encouragement. It keeps Cheyenne really up in spirits and is getting better everyday.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's dad

Roy

Thursday, August 7, 2003 9:47 PM CDT

Today was another wonderful day for Cheyenne. She is doing and feeling so good these last few days. Radiation was a snap and the chemo isn't bothering her at all lately. She has her tired moments, short headaches, and blah type feelings occassionally, but we are thinking it is side effects of the alternative treatment of Protocel working.

This morning prior to her radiation treatment, we dropped by Sea World again with her older brother and family. Fed the dolphins, watched the fish in the aquarium, and went to the Shamu show. Lots of fun, but it was awfully hot.

Nolan and Marissa are still in desperate need of prayers. Please join me in lifting them up in prayers over the next few weeks.

Thank you everyone for all your prayers and God Bless you All.

Cheyenne's Dad

Roy

Wednesday, August 6, 2003 10:49 PM CDT

To begin with, little Nolan, one of Cheyenne's new best caringbridge friends is in need of a lot of prayers right now. He had a pretty bad couple of days and will be in ICU until he feels better. Please keep Nolan and his family in your prayers. You can link to his site from Cheyenne's if you care to leave an entry.

Cheyenne had another wonderful day today. Just lots of fun hanging out and laughing. She went with her mother shopping for school clothes and picked up some pretty cute outfits.

The trip to the Oncologist was a good one. Her blood counts were taken and everything was excellent. She has gained a few pounds over the past 3 weeks, but really not that much. It seems that Dr. Estrada thought she would be losing weight rather than gaining it. Dr. Estrada is reducing her dosage of Prednisone (steroid) from 20 mg twice a day to 10 mg in the morning and 20 mg at night. If she continues to tolerate the chemo and radiation as well she is now, he will consider reducing it further. I believe from Dr. Estrada's reactions during the appointments, Cheyenne is always doing much better than he expects. Doctors are such pesimists when it comes to this particular tumor. Cheyenne's symptoms have actually decreased over the past week rather than increase. We need to convince Dr. Estrada what we already know, we are beating this thing.

Cheyenne breezed through radiation with no problems at all. It is now just one of those things that she has to do everyday. I am so proud of this little girl. She is one tough girl on the outside, but still my little pumpkin on the inside.

Tomorrow is already shaping up to be an exciting day. Cheyenne's big brother Michael and his family came down again for a few days to visit. Sooo, it looks like Sea World again tomorrow. We were fortunate last time we went, to get summer passes for the price of a one day pass. So Cheyenne can go everyday if she feels like it.

God Bless you All

Cheyenne's Dad

Tuesday, August 5, 2003 6:08 PM CDT

Cheyenne and the family had a WONDERFUL day today. Cheyenne was bright and chipper all day, in such a wonderful mood. No nausea, no sickness feeling, I even noticed that her balance was better. We had lots of laughs and fun all day just being together.

Cheyenne began reading the journal entries from the past couple of days. Her eyesight has not been up to par lately and so she avoided the reading. Since she felt so good today and her eyes were back to normal, she wanted to catch up. In today's messages there were so many inspirational messages, from strangers, very close friends, and many from our newest best friends from the caringbridge family. Thank you all. As a matter of fact, be sure and check out the link on this site of Cheyenne's Quilt of Love. She just LOVES it. It was was so wonderful for all the Angels to create this for her. God Bless you. It fits her perfectly.

At the 4pm radiation treatment, I kept my promise and introduced myself to the lady I mentioned in yesterday's journal. Her name is Janie Martinez of Carrizo Springs, TX. I had a conversation with her and her husband Ambrosio (Bocho to his friends) for over 30 minutes. They are wonderful people. It is such a small world. Cheyenne's sister in law's family (Christopher's wife Leslie) is from Carrizo Springs. Of course the Martinez's know their family well and sees Veronica at the bank all the time. Janie is being treated for cancer at the same facility as Cheyenne, and the treatments will last about the same length of time. So we will have many more conversations over the next few weeks. Also another name added to my prayer list.

Thank you everyone for all the outpouring of prayers, concerns, and well wishes.

God Bless you all

Chey's dad

Roy

Monday, August 4, 2003 11:21 PM CDT

Today was a good day for Cheyenne, but a little emotional for all of us. First, I believe that we have pretty good schedule down with the Zofran. By taking it at 1030am and then again at 9pm Cheyenne does not seem to get sick to her stomach at all. She still gets that "sick all over tired kind" of feeling occassionally throughout the day, but generally it only lasts a few minutes and then is gone.

Upon arriving at radiation today Cheyenne began to get nervous and a little scared. Just as a few tears began to flow, her name was called and we started in for treatment. As we were going in we met a lady just leaving her treatment. When she saw Chey's tears, she also began to cry. Not for herself, but for Cheyenne. I can't wait to see this lady again tomorrow and introduce myself.

As soon as Cheyenne saw her two radiologists (Anita and Sian), her tough upper lip returned and it was business as usual, let's get this done.

Now the emotional part. I hesitated to put this into the journal, but after some consideration thought these thoughts outweighed my sense of privacy. Today Cheyenne asked the big question, Why me, Mommy, why me. Cheyenne's mom and I tried to answer her the best we could, but you could tell she was still scared. We spoke of this website, all the emails that we are getting, and how due to her sickness, all these thousands of people are coming to God, praising him and asking for mercy. We have heard from people that say that they have strayed from God and now have returned after reading Cheyenne's site. We also explained how this had brought her entire family closer to God than we have ever been before. We have always been a very quite private family. We should have spread the Word more in the past, and how this is changing all of that. Also how we have met so many wonderful people that are in need of our prayers. I guess our talk with Cheyenne helped a little, as she seemed more at peace after the talk.

God Bless you All

Cheyenne's Dad

Roy

Sunday, August 3, 2003 7:12 PM CDT

Cheyenne had a wonderful day today. After getting up early, she was off to Sunday School to help put the finishing touches on "The Ark of the Covenant". Her Sunday School class is building a life size replica with cherubs and all. Right after Sunday School, Cheyenne did have a short time of nausea, enough for us to miss worship service, but the Zofran kicked in shortly and she was back to her old self.

After arriving at home, her older brother Michael brought over a gift from a gentleman named John Reid of Ripley, MS. Mr Reid does not know Cheyenne, however arranged for the delivery of a beautiful violin, case, bow and all. Cheyenne can't wait to try it out. Photos to be posted soon of her practice. Thank you Mr Reid. I know you did not know this, but Cheyenne has always been interested in music, specifically the violin. She is one happy little girl.

The rest of the day Miss Cheyenne swam and visited with her very good friend James and had a wonderful time. She had such a good day today, she didn't even fuss when it was time to take her medication. We love days like today.

Tomorrow it is off to San Antonio and the routine. Sometime next week Dr Estrada wants to check Cheyenne's blood counts due to the Chemo.

Again, thank you so much to all the wonderful people that are praying and showing acts of kindness to our little girl.

God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's Dad

Roy

Saturday, August 2, 2003 11:15 PM CDT

Cheyenne woke up this morning feeling real good, so off we went to San Angelo for the weekend. In San Angelo she can see her friends, go to Sunday School (her favorite event), and see all her horses, dogs, cats and other animals. On the way we stopped off in Paint Rock to see her Grand Parents (They are really special to her) and arrived in San Angelo around 4pm. By 415 the house was full of kids, swimming and having fun.

Something real special happened today which I need to mention. Today there was an annual picnic in a small community of Knickerbocker near where we live. One of Cheyenne's very best friends and classmates, James Bouligny, took a gallon jar with Cheyenne's photo on it and started his very own fundraiser to help Cheyenne. James is one special young man. Thank you James!

Thank you everyone for your prayers and God Bless you all.

Cheyenne's Dad

Roy

Saturday, August 2, 2003 0:47 AM CDT

Cheyenne had another pretty good day today. She hit a few bumps during the day and had those sick feeling moments, but we still had a lot of fun and laughed. The only doctors appointment we had was radiation today and it went like clockwork. We got there early and she did it like the champ we know she is. It appears as if the treatment is taking a little out of her. Her symptoms still aren't real bad, but when she is tired her balance is off a little and her vision blurred a little more than normal. She just takes it in stride except for the nausea. She thinks that's the worst. Hopefully over the next few days we will learn when to give her the Zofran for nausea. Normally she refuses except 45 min before chemo, but today we convinced her to take one around 6pm. It works so fast, I wish she had taken it earlier in the day so she would have had a better day. For all those other Zofran users out there, you know what I mean when I say "at that price it should work well". We planned to go to San Angelo tonight for the weekend, but she wasn't up to it when it was time to go. Maybe in the morning.

YEA, NO RADIATION FOR 2 WHOLE DAYS.

Thursday, July 31, 2003 9:55 PM CDT

Today Cheyenne had a 10am appointment with her Oncologist Dr Estrada. Not really any news, just a brief visit and a decision to keep her on the steroid Prednisone at the full dose of 20mg for the next few days of radiation. Dr Estrada stated that he may start decreasing the amounts dependant on her symptoms and reactions to the radiation. She had a really good morning, bright and chipper. By 3pm she began feeling very tired, sleepy and complained of her neck hurting her quite a bit. She didn’t even want to swim, which is real unusual.

At the 4pm radiation treatment, Cheyenne stated that it was no big deal and did not want to take her sedative. She marched right in, laid down, and basically said lets get it over. When she came out after about 20 minutes, she actually had a smile on her face and was feeling good. As a celebration for a good treatment, the whole family went to a movie (Pirates of the Caribbean) and pizza. Unfortunately, I think the pizza, buttered popcorn, etc was too much, and by the end of the movie she was feeling pretty sick to her stomach. Thank goodness for oral dissolving Zofran. It works almost immediately.

Today, like the past several days, Cheyenne was blessed with over 200 email prayers and tons of entries and prayers in her guestbook. I can’t begin to explain the profound feelings of gratitude, appreciation, and overwhelming feelings due to the many wonderful people expressing their hopes and prayers for Cheyenne. She has received prayers from around the globe, including a soldier in the desert in Kuwait, the crew of the USS Bonhamme Richard (even sent a photo of the crew and ship), churchs, friends, family, and complete strangers. Thank you all so much and God Bless you all.

Also, I want to thank Julie, Maddie’s mom (www.caringbridge.org/mn/maddie). We had a long conversation last night and came to the realization that we were using the wrong Protocel formula for Cheyenne. As a result, I contacted Mr. Tony Bell and are now on the right path. We have extremely high hopes of the Protocel Protocol. All those survivors can’t be wrong.

Hoping tomorrow will be a really good day for Cheyenne.

God Bless

Cheyenne’s Dad
Roy

Wednesday, July 30, 2003 11:12 PM CDT

Today was again, a good day. Our first doctor's appointment was the radiation at 4pm. Cheyenne decided to try the sedative again prior, and it went without a hitch. The poor girl was in the mask this time for almost 35 or 40 minutes since a few more xrays had to be taken. This was her first real dose of radiation. Apparently her program has the machine working at either 5 or 7 different angles (I thought the technician said 7 but Cheyenne said she thought it changed directions 5 times). We hope to stop using the sedative, since it leaves her groggy for hours afterward but want that to be her decision. On her own this evening, Cheyenne brought up the fact that she did not want to use it again. We'll wait until tomorrow and see how she feels.

This is her 3rd night of chemo, and with the Zofran, it seems to not be so bad. She ate a huge meal tonight, no lack of appetite, and so far is not complaining of an upset stomach.

We have 2 appointments tomorrow. Dr Estrada, the oncologist at 10 am then radiation at 4pm again. Dr Estrada is hoping to cut the steroid in half, or at least that was his earlier plan. We will see tomorrow.

Also I have to comment on some of the new changes and additions to this website. It is the work of Cheyenne's brilliant older brother, Michael. He added the 2nd page of photos, placed that link as well as the links to our other newest best friend's websites, as well as all the other additions. JOB WELL DONE MICHAEL. (He actually tried to explain to me how to write code, but I gave up during the first 5 seconds of his explanation. He's a lot smarter than I am.)

God Bless

Roy

Tuesday, July 29, 2003 7:55 PM CDT

Today was a much better day. After 3 hours of Cheyenne vomiting, we were able to get some medication into her and she has not been sick since. We arrived early at her radiation treatment appointment in case Cheyenne wanted to be sedated prior to putting on the mask. Cheyenne asked the doctor for sedation, however, 5 seconds later (the medication takes 30 to 40 minutes to work) she changed her mind and walked right in, put the mask on and went thru about 30 minutes of simulation without a peep. But before doing this, she had to have her music playing, The Continentals (a Christian band). During the time she was on the table, Cheyenne noted that she saw a cross in the patterns on the ceiling, which was a very good sign for her.

About the time we were leaving, the medication began to take effect, so we had a real giddy little girl for the next hour. And then of course she made us stop at Dairy Queen for a 99 cent banana split

Also today she received a package from Trinity Lutheran Church in San Angelo this morning. A CD player (for her Christian music), and all kinds of books, bible word games, etc..This is keeping us busy all day.

And for us parents, a call from one of our newest friends, Sara, Maddie's aunt. Maddie's mom, Julie will be calling later tonight. (Visit Maddie's website, it is linked to Cheyenne's) Great support and loads of information. There are soooo many wonderful people out there. Our friends and family, complete strangers, and now all these wonderful parents that are facing the same thing that we are, all take time to pray, give us hope, and help us when we are in need. God Bless you all.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003 10:43 AM CDT

Hi, this is Cheyenne,
Last night it was difficult for me (1st night w/chemo). I woke every 30 min. with vomiting. I'll write again later. I appriciate everybody writing and praying. Thats all I really need is prayers. Love you all, and Thanks!!!!
Cheyenne Marie

Monday, July 28, 2003 7:23 PM CDT

Today was a bad news, good news day. We met with the Oncologist at 2:30 for an exam and to receive Cheyenne's prescriptions. During the exam, Dr. Estrada noted that Cheyenne did not show signs of pressure on her brain as he had expected by now. Also, many of the classic symptoms that he expected by this appointment were absent. He did feel that the tumor had progressed slightly, shown in her balance and movement of her eyes. (She has difficulty walking heal to toe but has since the diagnosis on the 9th) Slightly was a good thing at this point since we are talking about a couple of weeks.

Dr Estrada prescribed the Chemo drug TEMODAR, with her to take 105 mg daily starting tonight. Also a steroid called PREDNISONE was prescribed. We were expecting Decadron, but we had expressed reservations about its side effects, and apparently Dr Estrada chose PREDNISONE due to our reservations. He claims that this steriod does not have as many adverse effects as Decadron. The steroid reduces swelling of the brain due to radiation and chemo. He prescribed a full dose for the next 3 days and then plans to cut the dosage in half if he can. A prescription was also given to reduce the side effects of the chemo in the event Cheyenne gets an upset stomach. All in all, it was a good appointment.

Next we went to the radiologist at the CTRC in San Antonio. This was a horrible experience. Today was a simulation day, no radiation. Cheyenne could not breath in that horrible mask they made for her and she panicked. From that point on, there was no way Cheyenne would put that mask back on. The mask is an extremely tight fitted mask to hold her head absolutely still during radiation. The radiation cannot be done without it. It is a horrible contraption. I am sure I could not do it. Cheyenne really needed Mr Joe Holguin from Karate here to help her though this. He has talked and coached her through some pretty rough sparring matches when no one else could talk to her. Anyway, tomorrow during the radiation, the doctor will most likely sedate Cheyenne, which we did not want.

The next few days and weeks will be pretty rough on Cheyenne, but she is tough, a lot tougher than her dad.

One last thing, we have had the privlige of meeting several children and parents online that are suffering through the same situation as we are. In the next few days we will be including links to their children's web sites on this site for prayers for the kids and their families. As a matter of fact, both our daughters, Cheyenne and Diana have become quite attached to a couple of these children even though they haven't yet met them.

God Bless You All

Roy & Donna

Monday, July 28, 2003 5:43 AM CDT

Cheyenne was excited to get back to Sunday school, yesterday, Her class is making Cherubim as described in Ezekiel chapter 1. They sure are in the making. Teacher Tom Wheeler is building the "Ark of the Covenant" as per Exodus 25:10, and the students make the angels for the top, and the contents to be placed inside.

After church, Eric Wheeler came home with us to swim with Chey. And James Bouligny, also a great friend, came over. All three then went to a dinner, movie and devotion with the youth group "Frogs", from Trinity Lutheran Church. It has been a real good weekend. So many cards and prayers and countless friends around the country praying, to the Glory of God.

Please say a prayer for Nolan, he is a nine year old in the same situation as Cheyenne, with a few more months into his disease. He needs prayers.
Thank you all!

With God's Blessings,
Donna

Saturday, July 26, 2003 9:50 PM CDT

Today the volumes of email and prayers continued for Cheyenne and all of us. It humbles us so much to know that there are so many wonderful people and Christians out there doing the Lords work. Words cannot express the profound feelings we are going through, that the Lord would send all these people to pray with us, and lift us from the depth of dispair. The power of prayer is awesome. Since the beginning of this nightmare none of us has had a nights sleep. However, after reading all the emails and prayers, we are at peace in knowing we are in the hands of the Lord.

Today Cheyenne attended her Karate Tournament in San Angelo. Although she did not compete, she walked away with two huge trophies. Katelynn Green of Christoval, one of Cheyenne's very best friends at school as well as in Karate, won 1st Contender in Forms, and dedicated the win to Cheyenne. She even inscribed the dedication on the trophy prior to presenting it to Cheyenne. Also Cheyenne was presented a Huge trophy from the San Angelo Martial Arts Academy for being a Champion and their little warrior. It really gave her a boost. She knows that she has a fight in front of her but she is not alone in the fight.

Tomorrow is Sunday School and Church in San Angelo, and then probably back to San Antonio in the evening. The next couple of weeks will probably be hard for all of us with the Treatments starting. Apparently the treatments cause the tumor to swell (it is already putting pressure on the brain) so steroids are prescribed to prevent swelling. But then the steroids have their own side effects, none of which are good. So please continue your prayers.

Friday, July 25, 2003 10:43 PM CDT

It is so overwelming to read the guestbook entries, all the wonderful people praying for Cheyenne and the family. There are so many good people in this world. God Bless you all. Also cards and letters are pouring in from all her friends. It will take her days to read them, but she will really enjoy it.

Today Cheyenne received her schedule for radiation and chemo. She will be starting radiation Monday at 4pm for a trial run and the real thing starts Tuesday at 4pm. Not really sure about the Chemo, as we meet with that Dr Monday at 9am, but we believe it will be in conjunction with the radiation. She is holding up real well both physically and mentally. Her balance is probably a little worse and even though she won't admit it, she closes one eye to prevent the double vision more than she did earlier. Through out all this, her main concern is how her mom, dad, brothers, and sister feels. She is quite the trooper.

Thursday, July 24, 2003 10:56 PM CDT

Still no word from Dr. Ameduri, the radiologist. Monday he began work mapping out Chey's brain to program the "Peacock" machine. Everything is waiting on his call. Probably if we don't hear from him tomorrow am, we will call and maybe head back to San Angelo for the weekend. Cheyenne has a Karate Tournament at Glen Jr High Girls gym (not competing, just helping this time) and a birthday party to go to on Saturday.

Today was a complete day with Cheyenne at Six Flags. The sun and heat took a toll on all, but Cheyenne probably held up the best. Had loads of fun chasing her niece and nephew around.

I'm trying to get Cheyenne to answer a few emails and all the wonderful entries in her book, but to no avail as of yet. We read them to her, but I think her double vision bothers her when she tries to read, but of course she won't admit it.

Thanks to all for the wonderful prayers, thoughts, and kind words in her journal. God bless you all.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 8:48 PM CDT

Free day, no doctors. But any day now, 1st treatment. Started the day with a swim, as usual, (Chey's a little water monkey). Then hours upon hours of tag on xbox (car racing) with big brother Chris. lol. Went to Dave and Buster's for dinner and games, fun. Forgot to mention yesterday before Sea World Chey got her hair cut short, really cute. Pictures to follow when software transported from home (San Angelo) to here in San Antonio by other big brother, Michael. Tomorrow her brothers are taking Chey to SixFlags!!! Thanks for praying.
Please sign guest book
God Bless,
Donna

Tuesday, July 22, 2003 10:46 PM CDT

Today is the first day since the beginning of this nightmare that Cheyenne did not have a doctor's appointment, or was traveling to or from some far away hospital or doctor's office. Unlike yesterday, where we spent the entire day doing MRI's, being stuck by needles and IV's or molding masks for the upcoming radiation (did not get through until after 7pm), we chose to spend today as a family and enjoy Cheyenne's company. We spent the entire day at Sea World where Cheyenne's mom, Donna, became so soaked, she will probably never dry out. On one of the rides I believe Cheyenne planned it so her mom was under the waterfall as we passed under it. It is so nice to hear her laugh and have fun.

As it stands right now, Cheyenne is facing 34 treatments of irradiation from a "Peacock" machine, along with chemo in the form of Temodar (Temozolomide). Temodar is a Phase II drug that has shown some promise in breaking the brain barrier and getting to the tumor. One of the hardest things we have had to do is decide on the form of treatment. Due to the location of the tumor, the radiation and chemo can possibly have devastating effects. Basically, the doctors tell us what is possible and tell us that they really don't know what the odds are of having a bad reaction. However, without at least the radiation, they say she does not have a chance at all.

After speaking to parents all over the United States (mostly thanks to Caringbridge.org) that have children with this same diagnosis, we also chose to give Cheyenne an alternative treatment, Protocel. We understand that it will not work with chemo, but may help reduce some of the side effects. We plan on continued use of it after radiation and chemo. One can't overlook all the survivors out there that chose to use Protocel as well as other Alternative Treatments.

Right now we are in a holding pattern while the radiologist maps out Cheyenne's brain and programs the "Peacock" machine. Her Oncologist is wanting to start Dakatron (spelling), a steroid, to prevent swelling of the brain during the first 2 weeks of radiation. I believe due to our concerns of its side effects, he is not planning on administering it until the day prior to radiation.

Well hopefully tomorrow will be another fun day. Cheyenne's brothers and their families will be here and I am sure we will find something fun to do. The Air Force flew Christopher and his entire family in from Anchorage just to see Cheyenne. That really made Cheyenne's day.

Sunday, July 20, 2003 9:51 PM CDT

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