The initial acute stress of almost losing Hanna and hearing all of the morbid predictions about her future was very hard on all of us. However, qualitatively the acute stress has shifted to daily fears of complications and bad news. The past few days have been the hardest as her treatment requires more invasive procedures.

On a positive note, Hanna’s lung is improving and one of her two chest tubes came out today. However, her lung contusion continues to be the barrier for removing the ventilator. There are risks of having a ventilator for too long and given more surgery in the near future, the team has decided that a tracheostomy is indicated. Some of you are unaware that Hanna was born with a congenital condition that required a tracheostomy as a baby for two years. What are the odds that someone has a tracheostomy two times in their lifespan?!

Hanna’s initial reaction was “no way” and “whose decision is it?!” After hearing that she might be able to eat and drink, she settled down. She wrote me that she would do anything to be able to have a drink of water! I told her it was good to aim high. A big disappointment occurred when she learned she had to wait until Monday morning.

There is no possible manner of softening the news about her right leg. In surgery this morning, the plastic surgeon noticed muscle damage and tissue decay deeply embedded in her right leg. In a straightforward and compassionate manner, he told us there was no possibility of successfully salvaging the injury and highly recommended amputation of her lower right leg. He was genuinely disappointed for us and is highly concerned about dead tissue being exposed for too long (infection magnet). Hanna’s orthopedic surgeon will follow up with us on Monday and he will offer additional information and answers. We have developed a deep trust in the competence of the surgical trauma team. Although painful to go forward, we trust that God will continue to guide the doctors and hold Hannah in His care.

When Hanna woke up, she immediately wanted to know about the leg surgery. We had hoped to wait until Monday for breaking the news. However, she asked specifically about amputation, forcing honesty from us. She cried for a bit, talked about wanting to still do everything in her life, and then asked for her Propofol to be increased to sleep. This afternoon, she asked me to share the news with her closest friends personally. Overall, the emotional toll of being in the hospital for this long is catching up and she is strung out. She is uncomfortable all the time and it’s all she can do to tolerate minute by minute. Hanna did have really good moment yesterday when Hannah Meloche, a YouTuber with 1.7M followers (including Hanna) posted Hanna’s Go Fund Me story and sent her love over Instagram and Snapchat!

As her mom, I’m quite dialed in to her needs and it is extremely hard to leave her bedside. Jerry also wants to be with her 24/7. Close family, including big brother Evan, are also here to help support Hanna. Personally, I’m trying to keep connected to the relief that Hanna is alive and also to feel grateful that her injuries won’t prevent independence. At the same time, all of us can honestly say that this was one of our worst days of all time.

We are sincerely grateful to all of you and profusely thank you for financial donations, prayers, encouragement, empathy, food, babysitting, putting Christmas away, cards, gifts and balloons for Hanna, and more.  We need your continued support as the acute stress keeps following us.