Join the 14 donors who have made a tribute gift in honor of Maxley Russell
Your tribute gift is a donation to CaringBridge that’s made in dedication to Maxley Russell. For $50, you can power a page for one month, helping them stay connected to family and friends.
Will you join the 14 other donors who have kept this page online for Maxley Russell and for you?
November 19, 2018
Pam said Maxley cried all day. Which would make sense since he cried all night.
Finally this afternoon my mom called the nurse line and they said anytime a baby isn’t themselves to take them in. An interesting concept. Makes sense in theory but he changes everyday. We might as well move back into the hospital.
His pediatrician thinks it’s his diaper rash ((still)). She has never seen a diaper rash like this continue on so long. We are diligent about putting both of his prescriptions on and so we know it’s getting done. We switched to water wipes and use only one kind of diaper. We thought maybe switching so much was contributing to it. We have to try to get into yet another specialist at children’s hospital this week. She did say we could use Tylenol. We have been hesitant because our nurse who comes to the house said before you use Tylenol you should know why you’re giving it. Which totally makes sense. Since we don’t know why I didn’t want to give any.
He was actually more himself for bits of time tonight. He smiles and cooed. We gave him a bath and just put him down. I’m hoping the Tylenol every 4 hours helps him sleep in more than 20 minute increments.
I’m sitting here in the dark rocking him to sleep and watching his heart rate drop into the 120s so I know he is asleep and I can put him in his bassinet next to my bed. I’m sitting here holding Maxleu and it hits me like a ton of bricks, like it always does, that Scott never got to meet his son. I know this to be a fact but sometimes it hits me in these intimate moments that he never got to meet this tiny incredible human we made together. It’s unreal. It’s unfair. It’s a nightmare. It’s my life.
Also, unlike most people, if I want to “see” my husband I have to drive to a cemetery. I have to park, get out of my car, look for the stick in the ground to indicate his site and stand in the cold to talk to him. He can’t talk back and I can’t quite feel his presence but I feel closer to him there. It’s depressing and unremarkable since I didn’t get his headstone ordered in time. It can’t be installed until May. One day, Maxley and I will have a proper place to talk to his daddy.