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October 29, 2019
I have a happy(er) baby!
I really think the reflux meds are working and must have been the reason for all the crabbiness since he was born. He didn’t really have a ton of “episodes” until more recently but I’m guessing he was always in pain now that he is acting more like a normal baby. He is smiling so much more. He likes to kick and sit in a bouncy chair more and more. It’s so fun to watch him just kick and squeal. I think his attention span will get longer and longer with chairs and swings and things now that he is figuring his limbs out.
This is a happy baby. He still has his moments (who doesn’t) but I think he is getting there. Pam said he had a really good day today and he has been having longer stretches of sleep at night.
He had a good weekend and has been napping well which means good nights for me!
Saturday my mom had him all day while Pam and I along with Scott’s roommates and their wives took a big van up to St. Cloud for a football game. Their last home game of the season and Pam and I got to be honorary captains and got to be there for the coin flip. As we walked to the field they read some really nice things about Scott over the intercom and what an asset he was to the team and it was so nice. He was such an amazing player with such drive. God I miss him.
Yesterday my mom and I cleaned out the garage. The boxes from his desk at work were there, his gym bag, golf bag, everything just as he left it. It was hard. I had to stop and remember to breathe several times. It’s so overwhelming looking at all of his things. He worked hard to have such nice things and even the thought of getting rid of it one day makes me lose my breath. His clubs were his prized possession and I may just keep them forever. I wonder what he would think of me just selling off his things or donating them. It makes me sick to think about. He can’t be gone, he must be coming back. Just about everything he owns has a story. I have a reason for everything of why I can’t part with it.
I can’t believe he isn’t coming back to me. I miss him so much I ache.
I love you Scott, Maxley and I both love you.