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September 4, 2018
My life is frustrating.
Today after work I ran to Byerly’s to get dinner for my mom and I. The woman ringing me up made a comment about me not having dishes tonight since I was buying dinner. I told her that I never have dishes because I live in the hospital/ NICU with my 12 week old son. She asked his name and then said, “ugh, that must be so hard.” I just want to say, “lady, you have no fucking clue.” I just stood there quietly while she finished ringing me up and I walked out. It didn’t take me long in the car to start crying.
I am weak.
I don’t often feel sorry for myself or I guess I try not to. Sometimes it’s an overwhelming urge that I just can’t help. I have my favorite photo of Scott right next to my computer at work. It was us on a beach on our honeymoon last March. He is so handsome, I find myself staring at it and feeling nauseous. Today, I wanted to post the picture. I love it so much and we were truly happy! We weren’t pregnant yet and it’s all I could do not to cry everyday about that. Most days I guess I did cry about it. But we were happy. I love him so much. I know I will never be as happy as I was here.
—-
Maxley slept most of the day but was really VERY fussy tonight. He got his 3rd of 3 shots tonight so he was a bit off. He took 2 full bottles again (seems to be his trend).
We are off to bed early because poor grandma got no sleep last night since M was so fussy all night.
Today after work I ran to Byerly’s to get dinner for my mom and I. The woman ringing me up made a comment about me not having dishes tonight since I was buying dinner. I told her that I never have dishes because I live in the hospital/ NICU with my 12 week old son. She asked his name and then said, “ugh, that must be so hard.” I just want to say, “lady, you have no fucking clue.” I just stood there quietly while she finished ringing me up and I walked out. It didn’t take me long in the car to start crying.
I am weak.
I don’t often feel sorry for myself or I guess I try not to. Sometimes it’s an overwhelming urge that I just can’t help. I have my favorite photo of Scott right next to my computer at work. It was us on a beach on our honeymoon last March. He is so handsome, I find myself staring at it and feeling nauseous. Today, I wanted to post the picture. I love it so much and we were truly happy! We weren’t pregnant yet and it’s all I could do not to cry everyday about that. Most days I guess I did cry about it. But we were happy. I love him so much. I know I will never be as happy as I was here.
—-
Maxley slept most of the day but was really VERY fussy tonight. He got his 3rd of 3 shots tonight so he was a bit off. He took 2 full bottles again (seems to be his trend).
We are off to bed early because poor grandma got no sleep last night since M was so fussy all night.