Join the 14 donors who have made a tribute gift in honor of Maxley Russell
Your tribute gift is a donation to CaringBridge that’s made in dedication to Maxley Russell. For $50, you can power a page for one month, helping them stay connected to family and friends.
Will you join the 14 other donors who have kept this page online for Maxley Russell and for you?
August 5, 2018
I did post an update yesterday but there was a glitch and now I can’t find it. I will contact customer support and see if they can find it.
We slept at RMH last night and slept really well! We just worked on bottling and growing today! He is 4lbs 1oz and doing well with the bottle.
It sounds like he will still be here a few weeks so I am thinking about going back to work soon. I only have a couple weeks of PTO and I really want to spend them at home with him. If he is in here even a couple more weeks, I will only have a week at home with him, I wish I could afford to take a couple months off and deal with my shitty life but I just can’t. It is going to be hard to not call Scott on my way to work or tell him when I have a good week. I know it’s gonna be harder than I can imagine to get back to “normal” life. Scott and I told each other everything and since we were both in sales we pushed each other and celebrated each others successes.
Driving back to the hospital tonight from a friends house, I actually went to call Scott. I always called him when I was driving somewhere and it took me a minute to realize I can’t call him, ever. I started crying and then I just listened to the one voicemail I have from him over and over again. It was him talking about getting a mortgage and how he was going to go plow the driveway. At the end he clearly says, “I Love You.” It’s such a beautiful message to have on my phone. I can listen to him tell me he loves me anytime I want. I just want to call him, I want to tell him about how crazy my life has been and tell him about his beautiful son. I want to tell him about how well he is doing and how I wish he was here to celebrate his boy and share in the stress of it all.
I dread going to bed at night, my brain just goes and there is no way to stop it. I am miserable but it just seems easier during the day with nurses in and out and so much going on, I don’t have time to think. At night, that’s all I do.
Wish me luck on getting any sleep in M’s room.
We slept at RMH last night and slept really well! We just worked on bottling and growing today! He is 4lbs 1oz and doing well with the bottle.
It sounds like he will still be here a few weeks so I am thinking about going back to work soon. I only have a couple weeks of PTO and I really want to spend them at home with him. If he is in here even a couple more weeks, I will only have a week at home with him, I wish I could afford to take a couple months off and deal with my shitty life but I just can’t. It is going to be hard to not call Scott on my way to work or tell him when I have a good week. I know it’s gonna be harder than I can imagine to get back to “normal” life. Scott and I told each other everything and since we were both in sales we pushed each other and celebrated each others successes.
Driving back to the hospital tonight from a friends house, I actually went to call Scott. I always called him when I was driving somewhere and it took me a minute to realize I can’t call him, ever. I started crying and then I just listened to the one voicemail I have from him over and over again. It was him talking about getting a mortgage and how he was going to go plow the driveway. At the end he clearly says, “I Love You.” It’s such a beautiful message to have on my phone. I can listen to him tell me he loves me anytime I want. I just want to call him, I want to tell him about how crazy my life has been and tell him about his beautiful son. I want to tell him about how well he is doing and how I wish he was here to celebrate his boy and share in the stress of it all.
I dread going to bed at night, my brain just goes and there is no way to stop it. I am miserable but it just seems easier during the day with nurses in and out and so much going on, I don’t have time to think. At night, that’s all I do.
Wish me luck on getting any sleep in M’s room.