6 tips for overcoming sandwich generation burnout

If you are caring for elderly parents while also raising young children, you are part of the “sandwich generation.” Simultaneously filling these two demanding roles can feel overwhelming.

Emotions can range from guilt to frustration to exhaustion. You might feel like there’s never enough time or emotional capacity to care for everyone, including yourself. And you might feel like you’re going to be stuck in this position for a very long time, with no relief in sight.

There’s no “one size fits all” advice for sandwich generation burnout because everyone’s situation is unique. You might be solo parenting, caring for grandchildren, or navigating in-laws or spouses who aren’t very involved. Just remember: You’re not alone. The most important thing to know is that it’s okay to make choices that take care of you.

Here, learn about the sandwich generation and explore six tips on how to manage the burnout that can come with the experience.

What is the sandwich generation?

The sandwich generation refers to adults who are “sandwiched” between two caregiving roles, for those younger and older. A common scenario is people bringing up their own children while also caring for their aging parents.

This dual role can create stress and emotional strain. The responsibilities can feel never-ending, and you may feel like there’s no time left for yourself. This is particularly true for people who don’t have siblings to share in parental caretaking tasks. It’s also difficult for those caring for parents who live far away.

Balancing these demands can feel like a juggling act, and it’s common to feel pulled in many directions at once. It’s a tough situation, but there are ways to make it more manageable.

6 tips for overcoming sandwich generation burnout

While your situation is unique, understand that you are not alone. There are ways to manage burnout. Here are 6 ideas:

1. Know you have choices

It’s easy to feel trapped in your responsibilities, believing you have to drop everything at a moment’s notice to care for others. However, it’s important to remember that you do have choices.

Making decisions that benefit you is not selfish. It’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize your own needs. This doesn’t mean you care any less for your loved ones. Rather, you’re making sure you have the energy to care for them effectively.

Take a moment to consider what small changes could make a big difference in your daily routine. Even minor self-care, like waking up early to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee before your day begins, can recharge you.

2. Keep others updated at your own pace

Maintaining friendships and keeping family updated can be exhausting when you’re already stretched thin. CaringBridge can not only help you provide updates to everyone at once, but also allows you to coordinate help with caregiving duties. Saving this time and energy allows you to focus on other needs.

Don’t feel pressured to respond to every message right away; people will understand. Use group chats or email lists to share updates more efficiently. Prioritize your time for those who matter most, and remember that it’s okay to step back when needed.

3. Delegate what you can

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. CaringBridge and other online tools can be used to share your story and let others know what you need. You can share publicly, if you’re open to help from outside your immediate circle, or privately so that only your trusted loved ones are on the journey with you.

Whichever way you share, delegating tasks can lighten your load. This is true whether you’re seeking emotional support or asking for help with grocery shopping or driving kids to activities.

People often want to help but don’t know how. Break down tasks into clear, manageable parts to make it easier for others to assist. Even delegating small tasks can make a big difference in your stress levels.

4. Join a support group

Support groups can provide a sense of community and understanding for people contending with sandwich generation burnout. Local hospitals often have caregiving support groups, and there are online forums like the sandwich generation group on Reddit.

Connecting with others who are going through similar experiences can be a source of comfort and practical advice. It reminds you that you’re not alone and that there are others who understand what you’re going through. Hearing their stories can offer new perspectives and solutions you might not have considered.

Support groups can also be a safe space to vent your frustrations without judgment. Making these connections can provide a much-needed emotional boost.

If you’re not sure whether you’d like to join a new group, you can use your personal CaringBridge to rally your own support system. Here, you can use posts to talk through your situation with your support system. With your inner circle present at your (digital) side, you can seek emotional support as you navigate the difficult emotions and experiences that accompany sandwich generation burnout.

5. If you can, look for respite or consider hiring a paid caregiver

Professional help can feel like a lifeline when the waves of responsibility and stress come crashing. If you have the means,hiring a paid caregiver can provide relief and peace of mind by ensuring that your loved ones are in capable hands. Paid caregivers can sometimes provide specialized care that you might not be able to offer.

Services like Meet Caregivers can connect you with qualified caregivers to help with everything from grocery delivery to home care assistance. If you have the means, seeking professional help is a smart way to balance your responsibilities.

Another option is respite care, which provides family caregivers with short-term or limited duration breaks from their duties. This time provides the opportunity for family caregivers to take care of their other responsibilities, including much-deserved self-care.

To locate respite care, try the ARCH National Respite Network & Resource Center.

6. Know that anticipatory grief is normal

Feeling grief and sadness about what might happen in the future is normal. Anticipatory grief can occur when you’re caring for aging or sick loved ones and worrying about their health. Acknowledge these feelings and understand that they’re a natural part of the caregiving journey. It’s okay to mourn the changes and losses you see happening.

Talking about these feelings with a friend, family member, or other trusted person who can help you process them. Allow yourself to feel and express these emotions without guilt. Recognizing and naming your grief can be a powerful step toward healing.

7. Look into counseling or therapy, if feasible for you

Sandwich generation burnout can cause significant distress and disrupt your daily activities. To manage these experiences, consider reaching out to a mental health professional or your primary care provider for support.

These health care professionals are equipped with resources and coping skills to help you process your situation while balancing your daily responsibilities and personal needs.

Many mental health professionals and primary care providers offer telehealth appointments to make care more accessible. To find a therapist that fits your needs (like insurance coverage, telehealth availability, etc.), consider browsing online tools like Psychology Today or the APA Psychologist Locator.

What advice would you share?

Dealing with sandwich generation burnout is incredibly challenging. Recognizing your choices and using available tools can help you find ways to manage the demands and care for yourself as well. Remember, you’re doing the best you can.

What strategies have worked for you? Sharing your story in the comments below can provide support and encouragement to others in similar situations. Everyone’s journey is different, and your advice might be exactly what someone else needs to hear. Let’s build a community where we can lift each other up and find strength together.