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Collage of husband and wife during cancer treatment

In Sickness and in Health, Wife Cares for Husband Through Two Cancer Journeys

In sickness and in health takes on profound meaning for couples like Sally and Sam, who are navigating the world of cancer diagnosis and treatment for a second time in less than 10 years.

Sally and Sam’s journey started at the local post office, where they both worked; she as a clerk and he as a truck driver. They met, fell in love, and got married. Before they walked down the aisle, Sam made sure to receive the blessing of Sally’s teenage son. It was a testament to the person Sam is— a family man who puts those he loves before himself.

After their wedding in 2006, Sally and Sam enjoyed over a decade of marriage together. They split time between their homes in Maryland and Delaware. They traveled and cherished time with family and friends.

Then, in 2017, Sam was diagnosed with prostate cancer. After a brief and straightforward treatment plan, Sam went into remission.

Unfortunately, it would not be the last time cancer would touch their lives. And the next time would be neither brief nor straightforward. Sam received a diagnosis of esophageal cancer in 2023. This would be a much more complicated health journey.

“It was more advanced,” said Sally. “It was longer and more intense, with the chemo and radiation treatments, the scans, and then surgery.”

They were driving hours round trip, going to one city for chemo and another city for proton treatment. As Sam’s primary caregiver, Sally was managing it all , while also trying to keep friends and family updated on his condition.

“The logistics of cancer—the timing, the appointments—it can overwhelm you,” Sally said. “And then to do all of that and also make sure you’re responding to people asking what’s going on and what they can do to help?”

It was too much. And it was starting to wear on Sally. She wanted to focus solely on Sam and his healing. She started to research where and how she might receive some help as a caregiver.

“I was looking at the American Cancer Society to see how caregivers are supported,” Sally recalled. “That’s where I came across CaringBridge. I thought, wow, I definitely need this, because it was overwhelming trying to keep track of everything that we were going through, and updating everyone through emails, phone calls, and texts.”

Not only was Sally trying to keep everyone informed of Sam’s condition, but Sam himself was receiving multiple calls a day, having to repeat information over and over. And while Sally believes that talking about your illness can be healing, they needed CaringBridge to streamline updates to their loved ones. The constant communication was bogging them down and adding unnecessary stress to an already overwhelming time.

They started a CaringBridge for Sam and began to funnel updates through his page. Sally saw excitement in Sam as he shared his story, and it began to have a healing effect on them both. Sally was able to devote more time and energy to Sam. She was by his side constantly in the hospital as he recovered from surgery.

“I was more at rest, knowing that I could see what was going on with him every day,” Sally said. “That really gave me such a sense of honor— it’s an honor to be able to do all of this for him. And that helped me mentally.”

The only regret Sally had was not starting a CaringBridge sooner.

“If we had it at the very beginning of our journey, it would’ve been less stressful. It has been a lifesaver to know that whoever wants to know can go to CaringBridge and see what’s happening. And whoever doesn’t want to know won’t have access because we keep our page private.”

Privacy can be an issue for many people on a health journey, and it was no different for Sally and Sam. The ability to choose the privacy level for their CaringBridge and only allow in their community of support was very important for the couple.

When Sam was well enough to leave the hospital, they came home. Sally took over as a full-time caregiver for her husband, keeping track of his medications, managing his feeding tube, changing his bandages, and bathing him.

Slowly, Sam got better. The couple eased back into the activities they once enjoyed together— walking and practicing yoga a few times a week, meditating and praying together. Sally has even been able to devote more time to herself and her own health. They are also looking forward to traveling again, as well as just enjoying the life they’ve been given.

“Life is too short, and we never know what’s going to come up at any given moment,” said Sally. “So, we really are just looking forward to loving on our family and friends and living in the moment.”

In this next chapter of life, Sally feels called to help others in a similar position as her, cancer caregivers who need support. She wants others to know how much CaringBridge has meant to both her and Sam.

“It’s the best place that you can share your journey. Share your wins, share what you need for support,” Sally said. “It’s the best place for everyone to come and see your daily ups and downs and also to encourage you and to help lift your spirits.”

While two cancer diagnoses in 10 years is more than anyone deserves, Sally and Sam have handled it with grace. Whether it’s a literal walk around their park, or a metaphorical walk through Sam’s cancer treatment, they’ve learned that progress and healing comes from putting one foot in front of the other, and they’ve been able to do it all side by side.