5 Anticipatory Grief Resources to Support Healing

To create this resource guide, we spoke with experts from St. Croix Hospice, an organization dedicated to providing holistic, patient-centered care for each end-of-life journey. We collaborated with their team to cultivate a list of resources that have helped people experiencing anticipatory grief.

If you’re expecting the upcoming loss of a loved one, your emotions may feel overwhelming and unpredictable. Maybe you’re numb. Or maybe you’re struggling with sadness, anger, guilt, or even relief. All these feelings are valid. 

Each person’s journey through anticipatory grief is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to experience it. This also means that your needs may differ from someone else in a similar situation. 

Our list of anticipatory grief resources below aims to provide comfort, community, and practical help as you navigate this challenging time. Use the resources you find helpful, and honor your needs as you process your emotions.

What is anticipatory grief?

Anticipatory grief is the sadness and other complex emotions you may feel when a loved one is nearing the end of their life. For instance, it can occur if your loved one has terminal cancer, another incurable illness, a severe injury or other health issues that have put them in hospice care. 

How does anticipatory grief show up for people?

Unlike the grief that follows a loss, anticipatory grief happens before the loss occurs, and it can manifest in many ways. 

The first is through the range of emotions you’ll feel and your reactions to those emotions. You might feel numb, feel a constant heaviness, or find yourself impatient or irritable. Some describe feeling guilty for wondering if – amidst their grief – they’ll feel a sense of relief once their loved one passes away. All these feelings are natural.

Anticipatory grief also manifests in how you cope. Some people may withdraw from social activities, while others might be more engaged, seeking comfort in the community of friends and family. Still others will seek community on social media or spend time learning everything there is to know about their loved one’s condition.

All these reactions are normal. There is no set way to grieve and no timeline you must follow. No matter how your anticipatory grief manifests, you can find resources and encouragement.

5 anticipatory grief resources to support your journey

As you navigate this challenging period, these resources can provide you with support, understanding, and a sense of community.

1. Explore anticipatory grief support groups

Anticipatory grief support groups offer a space to connect with others who are going through similar situations. The Anticipatory Grief and Caregiver Burnout Support Group, available through Eventbrite, is one such group. This group meets on the first and third Thursdays of each month. 

During these sessions, you can share your experiences, learn ways to prevent caregiver burnout, and receive encouragement from others.

Support groups like this one provide coping skills and address the unique challenges of anticipatory grief. They also offer an opportunity to share and connect, reducing the feeling of isolation that often accompanies grief. Participants are encouraged to attend as often as needed, finding a rhythm that works for their unique journey.

2. Check out the following podcast: It's OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine

Podcasts can be a comforting way to explore your feelings. They’re particularly helpful if you want to hear people talk about grief but aren’t ready to share anything yourself. 

It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine is a podcast dedicated to discussing grief in all its forms. Megan Devine, a psychotherapist who became a grief advocate after losing her partner, provides practical advice and insightful conversations that normalize grief.

Podcasts are accessible and can be listened to at your own pace. You can find It’s OK or other podcasts on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and other free podcast apps. This makes them an easy and flexible resource, perfect for any time of day.

3. Consider reading books that address anticipatory grief

Books can be a profound source of comfort and understanding during times of grief. They offer a safe space to explore your emotions and find solace in the experiences of others. Reading may help you process your feelings, provide new perspectives, and remind you that you’re not alone. 

If purchasing new copies is not feasible, used copies of these books can likely be found at libraries, bookstores, or online retailers. Public libraries often have digital collections, allowing you to borrow ebooks or audiobooks from the comfort of your home. You can also look for community book swaps or little free libraries.

Here are some books we recommend:

It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine (the book)

Written by the host of the It’s OK That You’re Not OK podcast, this book inspired Megan Devine’s work as a grief advocate. The book It’s OK That You’re Not Ok is a compassionate resource for those experiencing grief. 

Devine combines her personal experiences with professional insights to create a powerful narrative. She acknowledges the depth of pain and offers tips without trying to “fix” the grieving process. 

It’s a reminder that your feelings are valid and that healing is a personal journey without a timetable or endpoint. Devine emphasizes that grief is a natural response to loss and provides practical advice on how to cope. By sharing her own story and those of others, she helps readers feel understood.

A Decembered Grief: Living With Loss While Others Are Celebrating by Harold Ivan Smith

Harold Ivan Smith, a speaker and grief educator, addresses the unique challenges of grieving during times of celebration. This book provides strategies to cope with grief during holidays and other special occasions, offering practical advice and emotional support. 

Smith’s compassionate approach helps readers navigate their feelings amid the festive atmosphere, making space for their grief without feeling isolated. He includes real-life stories and examples. Smith’s insights help validate your emotions and offer guidance on how to find moments of peace during these difficult times.

A Time to Mourn, A Time to Dance: Help for the Losses in Life by Margaret Metzgar, M.A., LMHC

Margaret Metzgar’s book offers guidance through various types of loss. In addition to the death of a loved one, it covers other situations that may cause grief, like divorce, aging, and unemployment.

Metzgar shares her professional expertise compassionately. She emphasizes the importance of allowing yourself to mourn and finding ways to eventually “dance” again, physically or metaphorically. Her holistic approach encourages readers to honor their grief while also exploring paths to healing and renewal. 

Winner of the IBPA Benjamin Franklin Award, the book includes exercises and reflections that can help you navigate your grief journey. This companion helps readers find balance between mourning and living fully.

A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

In this classic, C.S. Lewis shares his personal reflections on grief after the loss of his wife. His honest, raw depiction of his emotions can be deeply comforting to those who feel alone in their grief. 

Best known for writing The Chronicles of Narnia series, Lewis was a prolific author of fiction, a literary scholar, and a writer of non-fiction Christian works. In A Grief Observed, Lewis’s journey provides a narrative that validates the complex and often contradictory feelings that come with loss. 

Through his candid exploration of sorrow, faith, and doubt, Lewis offers profound insights into the grieving process. The book's intimate, reflective style helps you feel understood. Lewis reminds us that grief is a universal experience and that finding meaning in it is a deeply personal journey.

4. Discover helpful online resources

The internet offers a wealth of resources for those experiencing anticipatory grief. Online resources can be accessed anytime, providing immediate information. They offer a range of perspectives and advice.

One such resource is the Griefwords Library by St. Croix Hospice, available on their website. This online library includes articles, guides, and other resources that cover various aspects of grief and loss. The articles, written by bereavement counselor Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt, can introduce you to each topic without requiring the time commitment of a full book.

5. Start a CaringBridge

CaringBridge is an online health platform that allows you to create a personal page for your loved one. This page can serve as a central place to share health updates, receive messages of care, and organize help. You can post updates about your loved one’s condition, share your feelings, and create lists for people to help with practical needs, like providing meals or running errands.

CaringBridge helps rally emotional and practical support from your community. It’s a way to keep everyone informed and involved, reducing the stress of repetitive communication. This allows you to focus on your loved one and your own well-being. Starting a CaringBridge is simple and no-cost.

Which resources help you?

As you explore these anticipatory grief resources, remember that your journey is unique. Grieving in anticipation of loss is a deeply personal experience. What works for one person might not work for another, and that’s okay. 

Feel free to share your experiences, tips, and stories in the comments below. Your insights could help someone else navigate their own path through grief while also providing comfort and understanding.