about CaringBridge  |  home page  |  view guestbook  |  view photos  |  journal history  |  donate to CaringBridge

Click here to go back to the main page.

Monday, May 12, 2008 8:31 PM CDT

If you have stopped by in the last couple of weeks you have noticed the new picture at the top of the site. It's a very special story that I will share now.

I work with a guy that has become a dear friend to Todd and I. He has a customer that is a developer/builder in DeSoto County. He asked his builder to name a street in one of his subdivisions in honor and memory of Shae. This builder happily agreed to do this for us. The subdivision has only two streets and Shae Pierce Drive is the main street. We are so honored to have a street in honor of our angel. Greg and Lance - Thanks so much for doing this for us. We are forever grateful.

I emailed the picture to our friends and family and shared the story behind it. Todd's cousin replied with this, "That's cool. Just think of all of the mail, driver's license, etc. that will have his name on it! Pretty neat when you really think about it!!! He will become a part of many peoples lives from now on. Just think how many
times his name will be mentioned just when people on that street give out their address. Even when just ordering a pizza! Totally cool!!!!" It is totally cool. We are so excited.

There is more to this story. Thanks to a couple of other friends that Todd works with, we now have our own sign for our yard. We went to eat a couple of weeks ago and came home to find OUR Shae Pierce Drive sign in our flower bed. It caught me completely off guard. Mark and Misha - Thank you both so much. It means so much to have our own sign now. We are in the process of making a memory garden in our back yard and the sign will be the first memorial item that goes in there. Mo - you would be proud of us!!!

Well, Mason is almost done with Mother's Day out. His last day is next Monday. I think he will miss going and playing with his friends. He seems to have really enjoyed it. His latest thing now to say is when he turns six he is going to Disney World. You really have to hear him say "world"...it's too cute. We have decided not to go anywhere big on vacation this year since we will be going to Disney next spring. We may go to St. Louis for a long weekend, but that will be it. I want to take Mason up in the Arch. I went last year and it's really neat. Todd is not real fond of heights, so it may be just me and Mason going up.

Mother's Day was a good one for me. Todd made me breakfast and lunch. I didn't let the day go by without thinking of my precious Shae though. I sure miss him. So many times I wish he were here for Mason. I know that Mason would just adore his big brother.

Please remember to pray for the children of St. Jude. If you haven't already signed up to be a bone marrow donor, please go to Bone Marrow Donor. Until May 19th you can register in the Bone Marrow registry for FREE!! They are waiving the $52.00 fee. It only takes about 10 minutes of your time. When you get to the payment page, you don't have to enter any credit card information. You just click "Order Kit" and you are done! They will send you a kit that has swabs in it, and you can complete the kit in the privacy of your home and then mail it back. You may just be a match for someone in need. To Shae's donor, Deanna, THANK YOU so much for giving to Shae. You could never know how much it means to us that you gave of yourself for a little boy that you never got to meet. We love you!!

Oh, if you love Jake Raborn and his family, you MUST attend the Shake for Jake 2008. It is June 28th in West Monroe, LA. It's so much fun and of course it's for a great cause. Keep checking Jake's site for ticket information. We can't wait to go. Hope to see you there!!

I must go and get the boy out of the tub as I have been called to duty. He's so bossy!!!

Please sign the guestbook before you leave so I know that you have been here. It's nice to read your comments.

Blessed,
Dawn for her boys


Shae,

I just love all the butterflies that you are sending to us. They are everywhere. I always love seeing them. You are the best baby and I sure miss you.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Sunday, April 6, 2008 7:39 AM CDT

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

14 years ago today, I married the man of my dreams. From the moment I laid eyes on Todd, I knew that I would marry him. He has always loved me unconditionally and has never given up on me. With all that we have been through he has stuck by my side...for that I am grateful.

Todd - I love you so very much and am so thankful that God picked you to be my husband. What a blessing you are to me and to our boys. Thanks for being such a wonderful husband to me. And Thanks for being such a wonderful father to our boys. You are the best!!

Happy Anniversary Honey...I LOVE YOU!!!

Love,
Dawn

Shae,

Please send daddy and me a couple of butterflies today. We love and miss you dearly.

Love you bunches,
Mommy and Daddy

Thursday, March 20, 2008 5:33 PM CDT

Today is Shae's 7th Angelversary. My precious little blonde hair, blue eyed angel has been in Heaven for 7 years. It's been a little extra tough this year, but God has gotten us through.

Todd and I took off work today so we could have a family day. We had breakfast and then to see a movie. After the movie we went to Shae's grave. We left him a big blue butterfly balloon and sent off three. We stood and watched them until we couldn't see them any more. As we were leaving the cemetery, we saw a little yellow butterfly. It was so sweet.

Thanks to each of you that have prayed for us today. We have felt God with us all day and know that Shae has been with us as well. Today could not have been more beautiful...not a cloud in the sky.

Shae - thank you angel for the butterfly. You are one precious little fella. We miss you more than you could ever imagine. We long for the day to be with you in Heaven.

Missing Shae,
Dawn, Todd and Mason

Tuesday, March 11, 2008 9:11 AM CDT

Sorry for not updating. I have added two slide shows below. One is a bunch of pictures of Mason and the other is from our BIG snow that we got last Friday. Enjoy!!!

Saturday, February 16, 2008 9:46 AM CST

I hope you had a Happy Valentines Day. It was just another day for Todd and I as Wednesday was my birthday and Tuesday is Todd's 40th birthday.

My wonderful husband made me a cheesecake and had flowers delivered to the restaurant where my friends and I were having my birthday dinner. He is just the best!!! I love you Todd!!!

Todd, Mason, and I attended the Life Celebration service of Madelyn Beamon last week. It was a beautiful service and fit for the little princess that she was. Pink was everywhere along with pictures of Madelyn and little tea seats. Her parents even had her favorite desserts set out for everyone to enjoy. It was precious and it was Maddie. As I sat there holding my precious Mason and watching a slide show of Maddie, my heart broke. It broke for Brandi and Neal as they are now learning to live their lives without their princess. My heart broke for Maddie’s big brother as he will miss her so very much. My heart broke for Maddie’s friends as they won’t play dress up or play tea party without thinking of Maddie. She is a St. Jude Pioneer as St. Jude tried everything they knew to treat her. My prayer is that other children will benefit from Maddie’s time at St. Jude. Please pray for Maddie’s family. You can visit her site at Princess Madelyn.

Mason is still being the busy little boy. He has decided that he does not like to get up in the mornings. I have to think of clever things to say to wake him up and get him out of that bed. Maybe it’s the cold weather, I don’t know but that boy loves to sleep in. I can’t say that I blame him much for that.

Funny Mason story for you...I help in Mason’s AWANA class on Wednesday nights pretty often so I get to meet all of the kids in there. Last week I was sitting at a table talking to one of the girls that he attends Mother’s Day Out with. I asked her if Mason got put in time out at school often. She was very quick to say that he in fact does get put in time out at school. She said that he and another little boy “fight” all the time. He has a buddy in class named Peyton and the both LOVE the Power Rangers so that’s what they play. They aren’t really fighting. Don’t you just love the difference between boys and girls??

I have more pictures to share and hope to get that done soon. Don't forget to sign the guestbook. The counter shows that people are stopping by, but not everyone leaves a note. I'd love to hear from you.

Well, I must go and try to do some work. Have a wonderful weekend. Hug your babies and never take them for granted. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

Blessed,
Dawn for Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason

Thursday, February 14, 2008 1:36 PM CST

Update to come!

Monday, January 21, 2008 10:04 PM CST

Well, I am finally sitting down to do an update. My friend, Michele, reminded me last night that I really needed to get one on here. To be honest, I just haven’t felt like updating. I’ve got lots to share, but not sure where to start.

I’ll start with that I really miss Shae. I miss everything about him. If you have lost a child, then you will understand what I am about to say. I can remember and tell you dates of Shae’s 81 days of being inpatient at St. Jude. I remember that Dec. 29th was his first day of being inpatient and his first high dose of chemo. I remember praying over that bag of chemo a/k/a poison to kill the cells it needed to so his bone marrow transplant would work. I remember that shortly after that first dose of chemo he threw up on him and me. I cried but he didn’t. I remember on January 16th, he was put on the vent for the first of 3 times. 7 years ago today, we were praying that Shae would hurry up and come off the vent for good. When I look at pictures of Shae or watch an old video of him, I feel so cheated. I know that I was blessed to even have the chance to have such a precious child in my life, but my heart still hurts and misses him so very much. I HATE cancer!!!!!

Shae would have been 10 on December 30th. What a milestone that would have been for him…finally a two digit age! Oh how I miss my boy.

I guess that’s enough of my pity party, so I will move on to something else.

Christmas – It was great. Mason got a 4-wheeler, a v-tech laptop, a remote control helicopter, a remote control Jeep, a remote control 4-wheeler, a movie and some precious Texas clothes. (Thanks to Mrs. Jane!!!) Todd and I got a camera and a new TV. The TV that we had we got right before we got married as a wedding gift and that was almost 14 years ago. So, needless to say we needed a new TV. Todd got what he wanted, a 42” Panasonic HD Plasma TV. I got a Canon Rebel camera that I am having fun learning how to use. (I am working on a slide show for here.)

Mason enjoyed his Christmas vacation from school, but was ready to get back to his friends. I have to share a funny story on Mason. Everyday at school we are given a comment card on how his day was. It usually states how much he ate, if he slept, and how well he played with others. Last Monday his comment card was not one that I was proud of. On my way home from picking him up at my mom’s, I pulled his card out of his bag and read it. Mason got his first time out at school. I asked if he got in trouble in school and his response was, “But it was a bad guy that I threw the block at.” He saw me grab my phone and he asked me was I going to call his Daddy. I sent Todd a text message letting him know that our lil’ angel had gotten in trouble at school. Mason starting doing some serious kissing up to me on the ride home. He kept telling me that I was his best friend and that he loved me so very much. After Todd got home, we had a talk with Mason & he said that he was sorry for throwing a block after being told to stop. The funny part of this story is that I had heated Mason some soup up for dinner and when he got through eating, he said, “Mom, you make the best soup ever!” He cracked me up. What a con artist. He is such a hoot.

I can’t end this update without asking each of you to pray for a precious family. Many of you know Madelyn Beamon was sent home 4 weeks ago with no treatment left to help her. She is still hanging on, but her family really needs your prayers during this time. Pray that her pain will continue to be managed and that her family will feel God’s peace.

I would also like to ask prayer for a friend of mine at work. 2007 was not her year and 2008 isn’t looking so great either. Last year she had surgery in February and was off work for about 5 weeks. Not long after that her father-in-law was diagnosed with colon cancer. In October, she was on vacation with her family and she fell & broke her elbow. She had surgery to put pins in. Thankfully she didn’t have to wear a cast. She goes back at the end of this month to have the pins removed. Pray that her arm is healed completely. Less than 6 months after being diagnosed, her father-in-law passed away. Her husband and his brother both went for a colonoscopy (sp) to make sure that everything was fine. Her husband has no problems, but his baby brother does have colon cancer and they have found a tumor in the stem of his brain. Please be in prayer for my friend and her family. She really needs something positive to happen in her life. I can’t imagine how she must feel with all that has been happening in her and her family’s life. I won’t give her name out of respect for her, but God knows her name and that’s all that matters. Please pray for her brother-in-law as he faces treatment.

I do have an unspoken request that we need your prayers for. In time, I will share this request. Just pray for wisdom and guidance for us.

Hanging on,
Dawn




Shae,

As I watched your video this morning, it made me realize that I had forgotten what your voice sounded like. I am thankful for the video though so I can watch it here and there to hear your precious voice and see your sweet face. I miss you so very much.

Love you bunches,
Mommy

Thursday, January 3, 2008 8:36 PM CST

Update to come this weekend. I'll update about Christmas and Shae's birthday. I hope to have pics from Christmas as well.

Thanks for stopping by and don't forget to sign the guestbook.


Blessed,
Dawn

Sunday, December 9, 2007 3:57 PM CST

Do you have HOPE?


This morning I struggled with going to church. I so wanted to stay home and just rest, but I fought Satan and went on. The service was a bit different this morning, as the pastor didn’t really preach. He read several scriptures on hope and had a gentleman give his testimony. It was a wonderful testimony of how God had brought him so far. He spoke of the hope that he has as God is still working in his life. Praise God for a life changed!!!

As I sat there listening to the scriptures being read I thought of what we have been through and how even in the darkest hours, we knew that God was our only hope to get us through. There was no cure and they did all they could do for Shae. From the beginning, Shae’s life was in God’s hands and we believed that God had a plan. It didn’t turn out like we had wanted, but we still believe that God’s ways are better than ours. We clung to the Hope that God would take care of us and He has!!

When I got home, I started researching scriptures that contained the word HOPE in them. In the New American Standard version, there are 132 scriptures with the word Hope in them. I would like to share some of them with you.

And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, HOPE, and HOPE does not disappoint, because the Love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
--Romans 5:3-5

Now may the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit.
--Romans 15:13

‘For I know the plans that I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans for the welfare and not for calamity to you a future and a HOPE.’
--Jeremiah 29:11

Thus I recall to mind, therefore I have HOPE. The Lord’s loving kindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. “Great is your faithfulness, The Lord is my portion”, says my soul, “Therefore I have HOPE in Him.”
--Lamentations 3:21-24

Those are just a few that I like. How wonderful it is that we can have hope in our Savior. While carrying him in her womb, I wonder if Mary knew how much hope Jesus would bring to this world.

I pray that if you are having a trying time in your life right now, that you will find the HOPE in Jesus that keeps me going each day. If you are not a Christian and you have come to the point that everything you have tried has failed you, try Jesus. He’s waiting for you to ask. In Psalms 10:17 it says, “Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them.” His ears are always open to listen to you. Speak to him today!

Now on to the happenings in our lives. Last weekend was the St Jude Memphis Marathon Weekend. The weather could not have been better. The temperature was just right. As you can see, I posted the pictures above from the race. Several of our team members were not able to make it due to illness. (They all seem to be better now.) I had intended on pushing Mason in the stroller for the 5K, but when we got our race packet it stated no strollers were allowed. I later found out that there were indeed strollers in the 5K, so next year I will be pushing Mason. It really worked out for the best though. My sister and her two children came to cheer on the runners. They had never been to the race before, so they didn’t know where to go.

This year’s race had over 11,000 runners/walkers. That’s about 3,000 more than last year. Team Shae raised over $13,000.00. I was so excited about that.

Mason has had the congestion/runny nose stuff for about 2 ½ weeks. He hasn’t really run much of a fever except last weekend and it only got up to 100.4. I finally took him to the doctor and he has an ear infection in his left ear. He hasn’t even complained about his ears. I am glad that I took him in now instead of his ear getting worse with it being this close to Christmas.

Ms. Libby – Mason’s big gift is a Polaris 4 wheeler. It’s funny because everything that Mason is getting he hasn’t even asked for. Wait, he did as for a computer and we got him a V-tech laptop. I hope that he is happy with all that he is getting. We are officially done shopping for him and only have a hand full left to buy for others.

Funny thing – I have my own personal shopper in Cedar Park, Texas!! Mrs. Jane Jones is always telling me that if I ever want her to look for Texas stuff for us, to just call her. I have been looking for Mason some cute Texas Longhorn clothes, but have not liked what I see online. I emailed Mrs. Jane a couple of weeks ago to see if she could go on a mission for Mason some cute stuff. That woman is a saint. She has already bought 5 outfits for him and a hat. She sent me an email describing each item and told me to decide on what I want and what I didn’t want, she would take back. She also found a great shirt for Todd. Mrs. Jane – thanks so much for doing this for me. The email you sent me is at work, so I plan on replying to you tomorrow. You are a gem!! Hook ‘em Horns!!!

I must go and wrap some presents so my tree doesn’t look so bare. During this time of trying to get everything done before the 25th, stop and take time to remember what Christmas is all about.

Thank you Heavenly Father for your precious gift of Jesus Christ.

Holding onto Hope,
Dawn for Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason

P.S. Don't forget to sign the guestbook!! :-)

Shaester,

We miss you angel so very much. Your birthday is coming up soon. I can't believe that you would have been 10. That just blows my mind. Thanks for the butterfly last Saturday on our way home from the race. You made our hearts smile!!!

Love you,
Mommy and Daddy

Saturday, December 7, 2007 11:15 PM

Create Your Own

To those of you who still read this site, I owe you an update. I hope to get an update on her on Sunday. Until then, enjoy the new slide show from the race last weekend.

Blessed,
Dawn

Thursday, November 8, 2007 3:35 PM CST

15 years????

Todd and I met 15 years ago last Wednesday the 31st. Yes, we met on Halloween at church. The moment I laid eyes on him, I knew that I was going to marry him. He was and is still so handsome. Thank you Lord for sending me Todd. He’s such a blessing to me.

Mason was The Red Power Ranger for Halloween this year. We had a Halloween party a couple of weeks ago at my house with some friends and their children. It was so much fun. When I get a chance, I promise to put pictures up. Mason is on costume #2. The first one I bought in August he has worn a ton and now the zipper is broken, but it’s still wearable. I ordered a second one from Disney and he got to wear it for the first time last Monday for school. He was so excited because it’s much better than the first one. Again, pictures to come.

It’s been a while since my last update and I am way overdue. There has been lots been going on so I might jump around some. I don’t even know where to start. As always, if I ramble please forgive me.

A couple of Saturdays ago Todd’s sisters, his dad & step-mom, Mason and myself went to the Race for the Cure 5k. I walked it while pushing Mason in the stroller. It was so neat to see so many there to raise money for a cure for breast cancer. Todd’s mom died of breast cancer so we went in memory of her and her mother. (Todd had to work, but his heart was there.)

Team Shae is up and running, but we need more team members and more donations. This year has been slow. Not to be negative, but I’m not real fond of the process of registering to be a hero this year. It’s a bit more complicated and can be very frustrating. Sorry for the venting. If you want to donate to Team Shae please copy this link http://www.stjudeheroes.org/site/TR/SignatureEvent/General?team_id=10940&pg=team&fr_id=3150&s_tafId=15174. Any donation will do and we greatly appreciate. I am actually going to walk in this one too.

Now, guess who I got to hold and give head sugar to Tuesday night????? Madison Hope Ann Raborn!!!! Don, Staci, and little Maddie came in town to visit St. Jude. They came to our house and hung out for a while. That little Maddie is just a doll and looks just like Jake. They made mine and Todd’s day. We were so glad to see them and spend some special time with them.

I am sure that I have more to update on, but I need to get back to work. Have a wonderful weekend and know that God is in control.

Blessed,
Dawn for Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason

Monday, October 15, 2007 3:48 PM CDT

Update coming soon.

Missing my precious Shae so very much today. Wishing I could hear his voice, hold him, and run my fingers through his blonde hair.

Dawn

Thursday, September 13, 2007 7:04 PM CDT

Well I am way overdue on updating. I have so much to share and can’t figure out where to start. So as my precious friend Trish says, “Grab a cup of coffee, because this one is long”.

Mason started Mother’s Day out last month and LOVES it. He goes on Mondays and Fridays from 9 to 2. He is learning so much and hopefully making friends. Last week he started AWANA at church and he loves that too. We are pretty excited about him being in AWANA because they learn so much. Todd was in AWANA when he was young and loved it. I will be helping out in Mason’s class every other Wednesday night. I hope you enjoy the latest pics of Mason in the slide show.

Last weekend I had the wonderful honor of getting to go to the Deeper Still conference in Nashville with Habitat For Hope. Let me tell you that it was the best weekend I have ever had. Ashley thanks for letting me ride with you. I enjoyed the trip!!! I got to see Emma Grace’s mom, Trish, Brent Nason’s mom, Tonya, Christal’s mom, Chris and Jordan Amato’s mom, Susan. What a precious reunion it was. One of my favorite parts of the weekend was getting to finally meet Reid and Randon Miller’s mom, Carol. I have followed Reid’s site for over two years and have always wanted to meet Carol and God worked it out to where Carol was able to go to the conference with us. What a joyous time it was so meet her. Susan and I were beside ourselves for getting to see Carol in person. She is a cherished friend and my life is richer now for meeting her. (I love you Carol). Susan, Thanks for being such a special friend. I love you girl and am so glad that our paths crossed.

Friday night is when Priscilla Shirer spoke and it was amazing. God used her to bless our hearts that night. She spoke about having the anointing in/on our lives. It was powerful and I left blessed.

After we got back to our rooms, we were able to share our broken hearts and encourage each other. God was with us this whole weekend.

Saturday morning Beth Moore spoke and it honestly felt like we were the only ones there. Beth spoke about David and our devastation with God. Now let me say that in our group of ten, six of us have lost a child. One mother that was with us turned to Mylissa Horrocks and asked if she knew what Beth was going to speak on. God orchestrated this trip and you can’t tell me any different. Walls were torn down and joy was being restored in that session. We were reminded that God has good things for us even in the middle of our devastation.
Saturday afternoon before Kay spoke we were blessed with hearing Mandisa. If you don’t know who she is, she was on American Idol this past season. She has a heart for God and a voice that is so powerful. (Susan thanks so much for my cd. I haven’t gone a day without listening to it.)

Kay spoke on David as well, but basically spoke about the crossroads of sin. That woman knows her bible and has a reference for EVERYTHING!!! She blessed my heart.

After a wonderful dinner Saturday night, we went back to our hotel room for some prayer time and God showed up. His presence was so alive and real in that room. We took turns giving prayer request and being prayed for. Again, walls began to tear down and God worked in a way that so many of us needed.

I don’t think my feet have touched ground yet. I wish we were all still there. It was a good time in the Lord and some precious fellowship with some wonderful ladies.

Mark and Mylissa, thank you so much for this opportunity. My heart needed this and I pray blessings on you and your family. I love you guys and am so thankful to be a part of Habitat For Hope.

I am looking forward to seeing my precious sisters again soon. Susan- see you in October. Carol – we have got to get a plan to meet up again.

I must go and play with my Mason. Don’t forget to sign the guestbook.

Be encouraged,
Dawn



Shae,
My precious little guy. I miss you angel and long for the day that we are all in Heaven together. Thanks for the butterflies outside my window at work. You always send them when I need it most. We love and miss you more than ever before.

Love you bunches,
Mommy and Daddy

Wednesday, September 5, 2007 1:17 PM CDT

Afternoon to you all. This will be short as I am on my lunch break at home, but did want to give you a quick update.

This weekend I have been given a wonderful opportunity to spend a weekend with some very special ladies. I am going to the Deeper Still conference in Nashville. HFH has given me the opportunity to go to this conference and I am so excited about going. I am finally getting the honor of meeting a very special lady that has been through so much, but remains faithful to God. Carol, Reid and Randon's mom is getting to go with us and I am so looking forward to meeting her and spending some time with her as well as Susan Amato, Trish Hampton, Mylissa Horrocks, and some other wonderful ladies that need this weekend. Please pray for safe travels for us all. Also pray that our hearts and ears will be open to what God needs us to hear.


When I get back from Nashville, me and my boys are going to see the Lion King at the Orpheum here in Memphis. We can't wait to see it. Mason has no clue that we are going, so hopefully he will love it.

I would love to write more as I do have much more to say, but time is short so I must go.


Blessed,
Dawn

Friday, August 3, 2007 7:00 PM CDT

Sorry for the delaying in updating. You would think that with Mason out of town this week, that I'd have more time on my hands. I have been pretty busy while he's been gone. He left Sunday after lunch to go home with Todd’s dad and step-mom to spend the week. You may remember that he spent a week with them last summer, but it was while Todd and I were in Texas at his class reunion. We missed him last year, but not like we have this year. We have been home and the house just seems so empty and quiet. I honestly think that I won't be able to do this again for this long. We are leaving in the morning at 5:00 to head to Crossville, TN to get our boy. We'll spend the night Saturday night and come home after lunch. We have missed Mason so much. I have cried on more than one occasion. This has not been fun. Todd and I enjoyed our time together, but all we talk about is Mason. Mason is ready to come home as well or so I think. Every morning when he calls, his phone conversation is short because he is at the “play park”, but the evening call is long because he keeps telling me that he misses me and loves me. It's been hard not to pack up and go get him. When he gets home, he'll play with every toy and want us to read every book. We won't mind one bit either. ;-)

Mason starts Mother's Day Out on Friday the 17th. It really should be called Father's Day Out in our case. I'm at work Monday through Friday and Todd is the one that is home with him more. Todd is not thrilled about Mason going to MDO. He knows that Mason needs it, but he will miss him terribly while he is gone. I have told Todd that I will be glad to give him a honey-do list if he needs something to keep his mind busy. Todd will be fine though. He'll take those few hours that Mason is gone to give platelets at St. Jude and go to the gym.

It's been a month since Shake 4 Jake, but I wanted to tell you how wonderful it was. We left the day before to head down to see Jake's family so we could spend a little extra time with them. On our way down there, Mason got sick in the truck. We turned around and came home. After Mason got sick, he said he felt better and was pretty upset that we weren't going to stay at Jin Jin's that night. He was fine the rest of the night so we got up early and headed down there the next morning. When we got there I was in awe of all the people working together to make this event come together. We got to hug necks and spend some precious time with some precious people. Once the event started, I was again in awe of all the people that showed up to support the Jake Owen Raborn Foundation. From what we hear, there were at least 600 people there. If you didn't know better, you would have thought that the event had been going on for years. I know that Don and Staci are so excited about the turnout and the support that continues to come. We look forward to next year…hope to see you there!!!

We had the blessing of attending the one year anniversary of Habitat For Hope last month. I am so happy for Mark and Mylissa Horrocks. They work so hard for this ministry and give it their all. Please continue to pray for the Horrocks and for Habitat For Hope as God continues to bless them. Mark put the link above and I would love for you to click on it and see what they are all about if you don’t know already.

Below is a list of some special people that I follow. Please check on each one and say a prayer.

Bella Horrocks

Madelyn Beamon

Jordan Amato

Ty Waggoner

Cole Hardy

Reid and Randon Miller

Jake Raborn

Abel Tyson

Tommi Simcox - Tommi is a breast cancer survivor and just found out last week that she has a tumor on her brain stem. Please be in prayer for her and her family.

Cole Kaspar - He has a Care Page site. Go to www.carepages.com. His page name is ColeKaspar. This couple is really neat and we enjoy spending time with them even though it's not as often as we'd like.


I need to go start packing to go get my precious Mason. I can't wait to see his sweet face.

Have a wonderful weekend!!!

Blessed,
Dawn




Shae,

I wish that you were here to be at PaPa & NaNa’s with Mason. You two would have so much fun together there. We miss you so much.

You’re the best,
Mommy and Daddy

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 8:05 PM CDT

I plan on updating soon. Hopefully, it will be tomorrow.

In the mean time, please check on our friends listed below:

Bella Horrocks - She is having scans this week

Madelyn Beamon - Still fighting the beast

Jordan Amato - His mom, Susan, is such an encouraging person and Jordan is just precious.

Ty Waggoner - Ty is doing wonderful...keep praying!

Cole Hardy - His counts are not real high now, but his spirits are good. Pray for his PaPa Hardy too. They found out this week that PaPa has lung cancer.

Reid and Randon Miller - Pray for the Miller family. I love you Carol!!

Jake Raborn - His family are hanging in there, but they will continue to need prayers.

Abel Tyson - Abel is a precious child that needs our prayers. God is answering prayers for he and his family, but Abel still needs a miracle.

Cole Kaspar - He has a Care Page site. Go to www.carepages.com. His page name is ColeKaspar. This couple is really neat and we enjoy spending time with them even though it's not as often as we'd like.

Count your blessings and know that God is in control!!

Blessed,
Dawn

Wednesday, June 27, 2007 8:57 PM CDT

Well, I promised an update and here it is. Sorry it wasn’t Sunday like I said. We are still trying to catch up on sleep and getting back into a schedule.

We had the best time on vacation. We left bright and early Thursday morning at 5:00. I don’t think Mason has been up that early in a long time. He was a trooper though and was just as ready as we were to get on the road.

Todd drove all the way to Miami, which is where we spent the night. We got up Friday morning and headed south to Key West. By the way, if you every drive to or through Miami on the Florida turnpike, take about $25 for the tollbooths. Overall, it took us about 18 hours to drive down there. We loaded up plenty of books, movies, and other favorite toys for Mason. On the way down, he only watched about 2 movies. He really enjoyed seeing the sights. He never once cried either. We are so proud of what a big boy he is. Being 4, that had to be a tough ride, but he was wonderful.

Todd’s cousins have a pool in their backyard, so guess where we were 15 minutes after getting there? Yep, the pool. Mason was like a fish. He can’t swim, but loved being in the water and jumping to Todd and me. He had to get in the pool everyday. His little tan line is just too cute.

There was a lot to see and do in Key West. You basically park somewhere and walk the rest of the time. Lots of people riding bikes and scooters everywhere. The first outing we had was to the Key West Aquarium. It was open and mostly outdoors. Here’s a little history for you, the Aquarium is the oldest tourist attraction in Key West. Anyway, it was very neat. We got to pet a baby shark’s tail. Mason was not afraid to touch anything and even held a starfish. I, on the other hand, made sure my hands were busy with the camera. I just don’t like to touch all that weird gross feeling stuff. It was enough that I touched the sharks tail.

We also took the Conch Train Tour around Key West. It was an hour-long tour, but very neat. We learned so much about the history of Key West. I recommend the tour to everyone and plan to take it again when we got back. We saw Ernest Hemmingway’s house and two of the southernmost houses there.

We went to the beach one day and stayed a few hours. It was really neat. It’s all lime stone and hardly any sand. Mason and me didn’t like walking on the rocks, so I kept on my flip-flops and he was either wearing his flops or being carried. He did play and have fun at the beach.

We ate like there was no tomorrow. Todd was good and either ran 2 miles everyday or rode bikes with his cousin. I don’t like to exercise, so I took a week off from it. I haven’t weighed, but I am sure that I have gained a few pounds.

The day that we took the Conch Tour Train, we also went to the Butterfly & Nature Conservatory. It was too awesome. Butterflies were everywhere. In the pictures below, you will see a very special picture of a butterfly that landed on Mason’s back. Needless to say, it brought tears to my eyes. When you see the picture notice the shadow of the butterfly on Mason’s back. (Thanks Shae!!) I also recommend that you go to the conservatory when you go to Key West.

All in all, we had a wonderful time and time just flew by. It was time to head home before we knew it. The drive home was not as fun as the drive down there. We booked a hotel just west of Atlanta for Friday night. We got caught in some construction at 10:00 at night and it took us 1 hour and 15 minutes to go 4 miles. Anyway, we got to the hotel around 2:00 a.m. Mason was one tired little guy, but again, he was a trooper. I was glad to see our county line.

I hope I haven’t bored you with the details of our vacation. We took 138 pictures, but I didn’t put them all on the slide show. There are probably about 30 pics in the slide show. Enjoy them!!!

We are leaving Friday after I get off work to head to Louisiana for Shake for Jake. Jin Jin has already called to make sure that we were staying with her. Staci called the next day to see if we were coming for sure. I am really looking forward to seeing them all and meeting lots of Jake Believers!! Ms. Libby, I can’t wait to meet you!!!! If you are interested in going to Shake for Jake, go to www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen for more information. Tickets are $50.00 each and it’s for a great cause.

I must go and get my sweet little guy in bed. Today was Todd’s first day back to work, which meant that it was Mason’s first day back to my moms. He was very tired when he got up this morning.

Don’t forget to sign the guestbook before you leave.

Blessed,
Dawn for Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason


Shae,

Thanks for the butterfly on Mason’s back. I know that you did that for daddy and me. Like always, we miss you more than you can ever imagine. Keep coming to visit Mason in his dreams. I can tell that you are because he constantly talks about you.

Love you bunches,
Mommy and Daddy

Saturday, June 23, 2007 9:03 PM CDT

We are home from vacation. I have so much to share with you all, but you will have to wait until tomorrow. We took 140+ pictures. I won't bore you with them all, but will share a good bit with you all.

Have a great weekend! I'll be back soon.

Blessed,
Dawn for Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason

Saturday, June 16th

I just wanted to get on here and wish my wonderful husband a very HAPPY FATHER'S DAY. I love you Todd. God blessed me with such a wonderful father to my boys. I am forever grateful for your love to me.

Have a great day Todd. You deserve it.

Love you,
Dawnie






Good Sunday afternoon to those of you that still stop by and read my updates. It’s been a while since my last update.

We will be leaving Thursday to head to Key West. We are more than excited about this vacation. The only draw back is that we are driving there instead of flying. We have tons of movies for Mason to watch. His portable DVD player decided yesterday that it doesn’t want to play movies anymore so guess what we will be buying in the next day or two…you guessed it, a new portable DVD player.

We will be staying with Todd’s cousins. They just moved from Marco Island to Key West. We have never been to Key West, so needless to say we’re ready for this vacation. We’ll be gone for 10 days. Todd’s nephews will be staying at our house while we are away.

Mason is so excited about going and keeps telling EVERYONE that we are going to the beach. When we went to Gulf Shores last year, he only played in the sand for about one hour. I am hoping this year that he will enjoy the sand a bit more.

Now on to another topic: A very special young lady earned her much-deserved wings on Thursday. Ronell Ragbir was given a few hours to live the week before. She was able to plan her funeral and say her goodbyes to everyone that she held dear to her heart. She passed away in the arms of her mom, Camy. Ronell’s life celebration service is today at 5:00 at Colonial Hills Church in Southaven. This is also the place where she had her first concert. Please be in prayer for Ronell’s family and friends. She will be missed tremendously.

Last night, I was looking at some CB sites that I haven’t visited in a while and when I came across Jacob Duckworth’s site, I couldn’t believe that Tuesday will be one year that he went home to be with Jesus. Wow how time flies. Jacob’s family is an amazing family. Please be in prayer for them this week as they face this milestone in their lives.

Another angel that I had the honor of meeting in March went home yesterday to be with Jesus. Little Rayley Kocurek just celebrated her first birthday last month. She had ATRT and if you know anything about brain tumors, you know that ATRT is very brutal. Rayley has a Carepage website. It’s under RayleyRose. If you are able to find it, please leave her parents a word of encouragement.

I am so ready for a cure to be found for ALL cancer that is out there. It makes me so angry that so many lives are cut short because of cancer. I know that there is a greater purpose that is beyond my understanding, but it’s just hard to not get mad when young precious children lose their battle.

On a better note: June 30th is Shake for Jake. It is the first official fundraiser for the Jake Owen Foundation. We are so excited about going to LA for this event. I think of Jake daily and miss him so much. I miss his family too. They are so very precious and they keep pressing on to make sure that others are blessed daily by Jake’s story. I hope to get to see so many of the believers that have followed Jake at Shake for Jake.

I must go and start getting ready for Ronell’s service. Again, please be in prayer for this family. I like to picture her chasing after Shae, Jake, Stanton, and Emma Grace in Heaven. All of them laughing and sharing in God’s love. What a site I can’t wait to see when I get to Heaven.

Trusting Him,
Dawn for Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason

P.S. I promise to put pics of vacation on here when we get back and to share some Mason stories. He is one amazing child and I am so glad that God sent him to us. What a blessing he is. Oh, he will be going to a day camp at our church this week. Please pray for him as he learns about Noah and the ark.


Shae,

What a bittersweet week this will be for us. Oh how I wish we could have had the opportunity of taking you to a day camp at church. Here lately, it’s been hard picturing you being 9 if you were still here. You’ve been gone from here for 6 years now and it often seems like longer. I just know that you would be playing ball…keeping us even busier. Mason is still talking about you daily. I hope that means that you are visiting him in his dreams. We love you and long for the day to see you again. We miss you so very much!!!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Sunday, June 10, 2007 3:47 PM CDT

Good Sunday afternoon to those of you that still stop by and read my updates. It’s been a while since my last update.

We will be leaving Thursday to head to Key West. We are more than excited about this vacation. The only draw back is that we are driving there instead of flying. We have tons of movies for Mason to watch. His portable DVD player decided yesterday that it doesn’t want to play movies anymore so guess what we will be buying in the next day or two…you guessed it, a new portable DVD player.

We will be staying with Todd’s cousins. They just moved from Marco Island to Key West. We have never been to Key West, so needless to say were ready for this vacation. We’ll be gone for 10 days. Todd’s nephews will be staying at our house while we are away.

Mason is so excited about going and keeps telling EVERYONE that we are going to the beach. When we went to Gulf Shores last year, he only played in the sand for about one hour. I am hoping this year that he will enjoy the sand a bit more.

Now on to another topic: A very special young lady earned her much-deserved wings on Thursday. Ronell Ragbir was given a few hours to live the week before. She was able to plan her funeral and say her goodbyes to everyone that she held dear to her heart. She passed away in the arms of her mom, Camy. Ronell’s life celebration service is today at 5:00 at Colonial Hills Church in Southaven. This is also the place where she had her first concert. Please be in prayer for Ronell’s family and friends. She will be missed tremendously.

Last night, I was looking at some CB sites that I haven’t visited in a while and when I came across Jacob Duckworth’s site, I couldn’t believe that Tuesday will be one year that he went home to be with Jesus. Wow how time flies. Jacob’s family is an amazing family. Please be in prayer for them this week as they face this milestone in their lives.

Another angel that I had the honor of meeting in March went home yesterday to be with Jesus. Little Rayley Kocurek just celebrated her first birthday last month. She had ATRT and if you know anything about brain tumors, you know that ATRT is very brutal. Rayley has a Carepage website. It’s under RayleyRose. If you are able to find it, please leave her parents a word of encouragement.

I am so ready for a cure to be found for ALL cancer that is out there. It makes me so angry that so many lives are cut short because of cancer. I know that there is a greater purpose that is beyond my understanding, but it’s just hard to not get mad when young precious children lose their battle.

On a better note: June 30th is Shake for Jake. It is the first official fundraiser for the Jake Owen Foundation. We are so excited about going to LA for this event. I think of Jake daily and miss him so much. I miss his family too. They are so very precious and they keep pressing on to make sure that others are blessed daily by Jake’s story. I hope to get to see so many of the believers that have followed Jake at Shake for Jake.

I must go and start getting ready for Ronell’s service. Again, please be in prayer for this family. I like to picture her chasing after Shae, Jake, Stanton, and Emma Grace in Heaven. All of them laughing and sharing in God’s love. What a site I can’t wait to see when I get to Heaven.

Trusting Him,
Dawn for Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason

P.S. I promise to put pics of vacation on here when we get back and to share some Mason stories. He is one amazing child and I am so glad that God sent him to us. What a blessing he is. Oh, he will be going to a day camp at our church this week. Please pray for him as he learns about Noah and the ark.


Shae,

What a bittersweet week this will be for us. Oh how I wish we could have had the opportunity of taking you to a day camp at church. Here lately, it’s been hard picturing you being 9 if you were still here. You’ve been gone from here for 6 years now and it often seems like longer. I just know that you would be playing ball…keeping us even busier. Mason is still talking about you daily. I hope that means that you are visiting him in his dreams. We love you and long for the day to see you again. We miss you so very much!!!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Friday, June 1, 2007 9:59 PM CDT

Please be in prayer for Ronell Ragbir as the doctors told her this morning that she only had hours to live. She has lived through today and the nurses seem to think she will make it through tonight.

If you have never met Ronell, you have missed out. She is a beautiful person inside and out. I had the honor of attending her Celebration of Life concert in March where Dove Award winning artist, Ginny Owens opened for Ronell. It was a powerful night and I am so thankful that I was there.

Please pray for Ronell to be comfortable and without pain. Also pray for her mom and the rest of her family.

God bless each of you,
Dawn

Tuesday, May 8, 2007 9:23 PM CDT

It’s been a while since my last update. Work has kept me very busy the last month. It’s been crazy. Also, they are watching closely the Internet usage of employees so I have to be careful about checking on all my Caringbridge families. It’s really tough, because I miss getting to read about everyone. Since we have a new computer at home, I don’t have all my favorites that I used to have. I can’t remember what all I have saved on my computer at work. Anyway, all that to say that I haven’t had much time to update or check on other families and leave them a message.

I had a little scare a couple of weeks ago at the doctor’s office. I went in for a routine check up and while my doctor was listening for my heartbeat in my neck, he thought he heard something that is called a carotid bruit (broo-e). I had an ultra sound a few days later and the results showed no bruit. (Praise the Lord!!) If I did have a bruit, then it meant that my risk of stroke increases. I was really bothered by all of this and was scared too. I am 36 and should not have high blood pressure and high cholesterol, but I do. And to think that my risk of stroke was increasing was not what I wanted to hear. My high blood pressure and cholesterol are genetic and I have been on medicine for my blood pressure since I was a senior in high school. I take medicine for my cholesterol and have been on it for several years now. Todd and I are working to lose weight and eat better. It’s tough because we LOVE to eat good ole southern cooking and Mexican food. Todd has been wonderful at finding yummy recipes that fit his low calorie diet and my Weight Watchers plan. (Thanks Todd for taking care of me.) By the way, Todd has lost about 25 pounds and I have lost 8. (I have also lost some inches.)

Todd had started trying to train me to run a 5K, but my left leg was hurting constantly. I really need to work through the pain, but I am a wimp when it comes to pain. I have never liked to run, so this is really a task for me. I am hoping to get back to training again soon. I want to run the 5K in December for St. Jude. If Shae endured all that he did without one complaint then I can run a 5K. Please pray for me and my legs!!! If I don’t run the 5K, I will walk it.

I just returned from a girls weekend get away in St. Louis. We had a wonderful time there. While in St. Louis, we went up in the Arch. It was so neat and fun. We also went to the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. It was so very interesting. I’m not a beer drinker, but that was very interesting. We wanted to go to Grant’s Farm, but they close early and we didn’t have the time. I told Todd that he and I need to go to St. Louis & take Mason. It’s really a neat place to visit and they have so much to do.

The county that we live in, DeSoto County, is having its Relay for Life this weekend. My bank has two teams and we have done well raising money. I am the accounting chair this year for our Relay. I am really excited about it. Just online, we have raised close to $14,000.00. We have raised more money in other ways too. Our goal is $100,000.00 and I really hope we reach that goal. My bank’s theme is Toy Story 1 & 2 in memory of Shae. It will be bitter sweet for me. If you live in the area, please come by. If you would like to donate money click on Relay For Life and look for BankPlus Team 1. You may have to click on the right side to find all the teams listed. I am on BankPlus team 1. Click on my name and you can donate from there. Thanks in advance.

Here lately Mason has been talking about Shae everyday. One night he was lying on the bed with Todd and myself playing. Mason put his head down and said, “I’m about to cry”. We asked him why and he said, “Because I miss Shae.” It was so precious, yet heartbreaking. The next week he told Todd that we need a hot air balloon so we can go see Shae. He is always trying to think of ways to go see Shae. On how I wish Shae was here to be his big brother. It’s hard sometimes to know that Mason will grow up an only child. Everyday that I take Mason to the sitter, I think about Shae being in school. It just breaks my heart over and over again. We really miss our sweet angel.

Todd and I are looking forward to a well-deserved vacation in June. We are driving to Marco Island, Florida to spend a week with Todd’s cousins. We are so excited and can’t wait. It’s about a 16 hour drive there, so we will probably stop somewhere and spend the night so Mason can get some good rest. (Todd too.)

I must end this update so I can spend some time with my boys. Have wonderful week. To all the mothers out there, Happy Mother’s Day. I am so fortunate to still have my mother with me and I thank God for that. Todd’s mom passed away 19 years ago and I just can’t imagine what goes on in his mind each mother’s day. Please whisper a prayer for him on Sunday.

Blessed,
Dawn


Shae,

Hey my sweet little angel. Keep watching of us and sending us butterflies.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Sunday, April 8, 2007 3:07 PM CDT

Below are some pictures from Mason's birthday party. We all had a wonderful time.

Happy Easter to all of you. Enjoy the pics.


<
/tr>



Trusting Him,
Dawn for Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason

April 6, 2007

******Happy 4th Birthday Mason******

We love you sweetie and are so glad that God blessed us with you.





Friday, March 30, 2007 10:29 PM CDT

Thanks to each of you that left an encouraging word in the guestbook and/or prayed for us last week. It was a tough week, but God’s grace and your prayers got us through. God is good, ALL the time.

On the 20th, we got up and had a yummy breakfast that Todd prepared. (He really missed his calling!) Anyway, we went to get some balloons to take to the grave. Of course, Mason had to have one for himself. We bought two for Shae, one to leave at the grave and the other was to be released. The one we released was just a regular balloon that had “Thinking of You” on it. We let it go and it went straight into a line of trees, got stuck and popped. The other balloon was a huge caterpillar. (I couldn’t find any butterfly balloons.) Anyway, I told Todd that we have to send Shae a balloon and we knew that Mason wasn’t going to let his go. So we let the caterpillar go. After we let it go I looked at Todd and told him that since we sent Shae a caterpillar he can send us a butterfly. Since then, we have seen several butterflies. As a matter of fact, Todd was in his patrol car earlier this week with his window down. A butterfly flew in his car landing on the steering wheel and just sat there for about 30 seconds then flew away. That Shae is always taking care of his daddy and mommy.

This past Monday, Todd and I celebrated 13 years of marriage. I have no idea how he has put up with me for so long. He’s a wonderful husband and father. God blessed me with a wonderful man and I am so grateful for him. I love you honey….thanks for loving me.

Last Thursday, Todd and I were very excited to be a part of a very special event that involved a precious St. Jude patient, Ronell Ragbir and Ginny Owens. Ronell is a talented writer & singer and has always dreamed of singing in front of a large crowd. Last week, her dream came true. Not only did she perform in front of a large crowd, but she also performed with Dove Award winner, Ginny Owens. Todd and I were involved in helping getting some things together for the concert. Ronell was picked up at the target house in a limo and escorted to the church in Southaven where we attend. Shelby County, TN deputies escorted her to the state line and Todd picked things up from there. He was so proud and excited to be doing this for such a special young lady. Ginny Owens opened for Ronell. It was such a special evening and we were glad to be a part of it. Please pray for Ronell and her family. Click on her name to go to her website.

There is a 20 month old at St. Jude that I have been following via his website for some time now. It’s one of the saddest situations I believe I have ever read. Abel Tyson has Nueroblastoma, Stage 3. In early January he had surgery and during the surgery he had some complications and now has brain damage. This precious, God fearing couple face each day wondering if their sweet little boy will “wake up” and be better. They are not only dealing with his cancer, but they deal with the fact that Abel can’t talk to them, laugh, or even smile. My heart breaks each time I check on him. His parents really need our prayers. Abel needs a miracle from God. I BELIEVE that God can heal Abel. Please stop by his site and say a prayer for this little guy. We haven’t met this family, but they are never far from my heart and mind.

Well, my sweet Mason will be 4 on April 6th. I just can’t believe he’s getting so big. This morning I asked him if he grew overnight, because he looked as though he grew a couple of inches. He is so sweet and he brings us so much joy everyday. He could never fill the void that will forever be in our hearts, but he sure helps us get through each day.

I must go. It’s late and I’m getting tired. Please sign the guestbook before you leave.

Blessed,
Dawn

Shaester,
Thanks so much for the butterflies. You always know when to send them to us. We miss you so very much. Keep watching over Mason.

Love you bunches,
Mommy and Daddy

Monday, March 19, 2007 9:30 PM CDT

“He’s been gone longer than we had him here with us.”


Wow, when Todd said this to me the other night I instantly started crying. He didn’t mean to make me cry, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. Shae has been gone longer than the time that we had him on earth with us. I’ve thought about this everyday since then and I just can’t believe that Shae’s been gone for six years.

Then Saturday it hit me that Shae died on Tuesday the 20th and we all know what Tuesday’s date is. It’s like we are living it all over again. He passed away on a Tuesday and his funeral was on Thursday. I often wonder if we had his funeral too soon. There are many things that I would have changed, but it’s too late and I can’t live with regrets.

Todd, Mason, and myself will be spending the day together tomorrow. Todd and I always take the day off so we can spend time as a family. I don’t know what we plan on doing, but all that matters is that we are together…as a family. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow which is so appropriate because Shae loved rain.

I can remember the day before and the day of his passing like it was yesterday. The Sunday night before he passed I can remember him smiling ear to ear at his favorite movie. Todd had already gone to bed. Shae was watching Toy Story 2 and it was at the end where they show the bloopers. His favorite part was when Buzz burped. (Typical boy.) I looked at Shae and he just grinned so big. He was on the vent with a tube down his throat and yet he was smiling. I pray that I never forget that smile. The next day he had his fifth bleed in his lung. They took us to the dreaded room to tell us that they could change his vent to another kind, but it would only extend his life for another two weeks. We just didn’t see the need for him to be in that situation. We signed the DNR papers and called our family and friends. Tuesday morning his room was full of family and friends. (The “two to a room” rule went out the window.) The waiting room and hall were full of other friends and lots of fellow police officers. Todd’s family and mine took turns holding Shae for the last time. Most of us were singing “You are my sunshine” to him. He woke up in Heaven at 11:13 a.m. on Tuesday, March 20, 2001.

Todd and I were in separate cars. He drove home by himself and a friend of mine rode home with me. She offered to drive, but for some reason I just had to drive. I don’t remember the drive home at all. The next couple of days were basically us just going through the motions. Planning his funeral…oh what a tough time that was.

We survived the last six years and know that God will get us through the rest of our time here on earth. We miss Shae so very much, but are blessed that we were the parents of William Shae Pierce. He taught us so much and continues to teach us each day. We see him everywhere and love to talk about him. Someone asked me today how many children I have and I told them I had 2 boys, one in heaven and the other here with us. The man later asked me more about Shae and what had happened. I love to talk about him. He will always be a part of our lives. It hurts that he isn’t here with us and we continue to learn to deal with it.

We ask that you pray for us this week as each day is significant and brings back some painful memories. Thanks for listening.

Trusting Him,
Dawn for Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason


Shae,

Our sweet, sweet angel. We miss you so much. I know that you are having such a wonderful time in Heaven. Be sure to send us some butterflies again. We love you and often wonder what you would look like now. We wonder if you would be playing baseball or some other sport. We wonder if you would be constantly calling our names because Mason is bugging you. (We have a strong feeling that he would love to be around you all the time.) We wonder if your hair would still be so blonde. We wonder about lots of things. We long to hold you again and we will one day. We’ll all be together in Heaven one day. See you then Angel Bear!!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Saturday, March 17, 2007 5:42 PM CDT

As you can hear and see, I have added one of my favorite songs to Shae's site. This song is what our hearts are feeling.

I actually had the honor to hear MercyMe perform this live before it was out on their CD. I sat there listening as the tears poured. Since then I have loved this song.

I plan on updating before or on Tuesday. Please pray for us this next week as we deal with the anniversary of Shae earning his wings.

Trusting Him,
Dawn

Sunday, March 4, 2007 8:29 PM CST

I signed up months back to receive emails from Max Lucado. They are always good, but the one I received last month really stuck out. Here it is.

Facing your grief.

“David sang this lament over Saul and his son Jonathan, and gave orders that everyone in Judah learn it by heart.” (II Samuel 1:17-18 MSG)

David called the nation to mourning. He rendered weeping a public policy. He refused to gloss over or soft-pedal death. He faced it, fought it, challenged it. But he didn’t deny it. As his son Solomon explained, “There is…a time to mourn” (Eccles. 3:1, 4 NIV)

Give yourself some. Face your grief with tears, time, and –one more-face your grief with truth. Paul urged the Thessalonians to grieve, but he didn’t want the Christians to “carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word.” (I Thess. 4:13 MSG)

God has the last word on death. And, if you listen, he will tell you the truth about your loved ones. They’ve been dismissed from the hospital called Earth. You and I still roam the halls, smell the medicines, and eat green beans and Jell-O off plastic trays. They, meanwhile, enjoy picnics, inhale springtime, and run through knee-high flowers. You miss them like crazy, but can you deny the truth? They have no pain, doubt, or struggle. They are really happier in heaven.

And won’t you see them soon? Life blisters by at mach speed. “You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath” (Ps. 39:5 NIV).

When you drip your kids off at school, do you weep as though you’ll never see them again? When you drop your spouse at the store and park the car, do you bid a final forever farewell? No. When you say, “I’ll see you soon,” you mean it. When you stand in the cemetery and stare down at the soft, freshly turned earth and promise, “I’ll see you soon,” you speak the truth. Reunion is a splinter of an eternal moment away.

So go ahead, face your grief. Give yourself time. Permit yourself tears. God understands. He knows the sorrow of a grave. He buried His son. But He also knows the joy of resurrection. And, by His power, you will too. -


Oh how that spoke to my heart. I am so glad that God understands my tears and my grief. I am so glad that we will see Shae again someday soon. It makes me smile to know that he doesn’t have pain and isn’t struggling.

I met a lady the other day that shared with me that her mom passed away last month. It was obvious that she was fighting back the tears while talking to me, but I was so glad that she told me. God blessed me with the opportunity to share Shae’s story with her. I told her to grieve the only way that she knew how to. There is no wrong way to grieve. I also shared with her my favorite scripture that is above. “So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and your will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.” John 16:22. I do have joy that I will see Shae again. My joy comes from our savior that died on the cross and rose again that I may have life and have it more abundantly. I am blessed!!!

On the 20th of this month, Shae will be gone from this earth 6 years. I just can’t believe it, but it’s so true. There are so many emotions in my heart and head right now that I just can’t put them in words. We miss our angel so much and long to hold him again. It hits me everyday and I have learned to deal with it and press on. Please remember us on the 20th. Todd and I will both be off work spending time with Mason.

To change the subject and try to dry my tears. I must tell you about our weekend with the Raborns. We had a wonderful time visiting and eating with them. They took us to see their land that they had purchased to build a house on. It’s beautiful land and I am so happy for them. As we were walking around on the property, a little yellow butterfly fluttered by. I can’t remember if I have ever seen a butterfly in February. It blew us away. After we got back to their house, we saw another butterfly. I told them that the first one was Shae and the second one was Jake. Both of our boys stopped by to let us know that they are always with us. It warmed our hearts so much to see the butterflies.

We always have a wonderful time with the Raborns. They are so much fun to be around and we just feel “at home” with them. I hope they will be making a trip here soon. Staci and Mo are supposed to be decorating a room at the Hope House and Don is ready to go back to St. Jude. Please continue to pray for this precious family.

I need to end this journal and spend time with my boys. Please sign the guestbook before you leave.

Joyful,
Dawn for Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason



Shae,

We miss you sweetie and long for the day that we are reunited with you again. Keep watching over your little brother. Now that it’s March, I’ll be looking for butterflies.

Missing you more than ever,
Mommy and Daddy

Friday, February 23, 2007 11:47 AM CST

This will be short but I wanted to update again before heading out of town for the weekend. We are leaving today to go visit Jake’s family. We are very excited to say the least. Jake’s grandmother called me earlier to see if we were still making the trip. She is ready for her Mason lovin’.

We went last weekend to St. Jude to visit a family and take dinner. Mark from Habitat For Hope called us last Thursday to see if we were ready to go back to the Jude to start taking dinner and visiting families. The child’s name is Cole and he has Nueroblastoma, Stage 4. He will be three in March. His daddy played football for the Texas Longhorns so this was right up Todd’s alley. We didn’t stay real long, but we had a wonderful visit. If you know my husband, he doesn’t talk much the first time you meet him. I am usually the one talking non-stop. Well, this time he did ALL the talking and asked me later how come I didn’t talk more? I let him know that I couldn’t get a word in. We do plan on going back to visit them again soon. The toughest part was Mason. He kept saying that he wanted to go see Jake. He misses his buddy so much.

I know this is short, but I need to finish up some things here at work before heading home. Have a wonderful weekend.

Trusting Him,
Dawn

Wednesday, February 14, 2007 8:46 PM CST

I am overdue on updating and I am sorry about that. (Susan, I got your hint.) I am trying to figure out how to start this update. Things seem so different now that we aren’t going to St. Jude every week or every other week to see Jake and his family. We miss them very much. I haven’t been able to go back to St. Jude since the day before Jake left there to go home. Todd has been faithful to give platelets twice a month, but I have had a hard time even calling to make an appointment. My personal goal is to start back going in March. Why March? I don’t know it just seems like a good month to start giving back to St. Jude.

I have been following a precious child name Liam Reinier for several months now. I had the honor of meeting he and his mom a few months back. Liam instantly stole my heart. His diagnosis is MDS. (The same thing Shae had.) He was here in Memphis last week for scans and various tests. He is about two weeks from being 1-year post transplant and is doing wonderful. He’s doing so well that they pulled his central line out last Friday. I am so excited for him. It does my heart so good that he is healed. I like to think that Shae was there to help research find better ways to treat MDS. Go Liam. I am so proud of you. Keep getting stronger.

Well, yesterday I celebrated the 7th anniversary of my 29th birthday. Yes, I am 36 and I am not sure that I like it. Todd will be 39 on the 19th of this month. We don’t usually celebrate Valentine’s because of our birthdays being so close. Todd got me a bracelet that I have been wanting. He wants money so he can buy a new Ipod. Silly boys and their toys.

Speaking of toys, we got a new computer a couple of weeks ago. It’s a MacBook. It’s so cool and I am officially a fan of Apple computers. We went out of town this weekend and Mason was able to watch movies on the computer. (I had to take back his portable DVD player that Santa brought him because it didn’t work half the time. Word to the wise, NEVER buy a DVD player from Kohl’s.) Anyway, we love our new computer. Mason likes it because we can take pictures on it. Todd likes to email me the pictures at work. Again, boys and their toys. By the way, our new email address is longhornfan2@comcast.net.

We are having Raborn withdrawals, so we have planned a trip to see them next weekend. I can’t wait. It’s been since before Thanksgiving that we have seen them. I talked to Jin Jin earlier and she is ready for us to make the trip down there. We are excited about going. Look out Raborns/Groves, here we come.

We finally got our sitter problem fixed. My mom is keeping Mason two days a week. The girl that cuts Mason’s hair keeps him every other Tuesday. When school is out, Mason will go to a new lady’s house. This lady works at a private school in Southaven and keeps children in the summer. When school starts back, Mason will start preschool. He will be going to K4 three days a week for half a day. Todd had to be convinced that preschool will be good for Mason. (He doesn’t like to share Mason on his days off.) So are you now confused as to what we are doing for childcare? Thank goodness Mason is a little politician and doesn’t meet strangers. He adapts to any environment very well. I guess he gets that from his momma. I have a friend that tells me that I know everyone and have a million friends. I believe that Mason is going to be that way too.

We are still enjoying going to Colonial Hills Church. Mason LOVES his class and never looks back when they take him in. I believe in a few months that he will be promoted to another class since he will be four in April. Of course, I think he has to be potty trained before being promoted. He is actually doing better at potty training. He will now tell us when he needs to use the bathroom. He just won’t tell us when he needs to go poopy. He’ll poop in his pull up and then tell us to change him quickly. I believe that he will be completely trained real soon. We have offered him everything under the sun trying to convince him to tell us when he needs to go poopy. The biggest thing right now is a place called Bounz. It’s a place that has two large rooms full of huge inflatable slides. He loves that place. We told him that if starts going poopy in the potty that we’d take him there. His answer was, “take me to slide and I’ll poop in the potty there”. Smart kid huh?

Mason had his first ear infection in forever about 12 days ago. He never ran fever, but complained about his ear for about 2 days. He got tubes when he was 8 ½ months old and the tubes have fallen out since then. His ear is better now. I pray that this ear infection was just a one-time thing and that he doesn’t have anymore. Praise the Lord Mason has been very healthy in the last year.

Todd and I have been asked to help in granting wish for a St. Jude patient. She is a 20 year old that has Osteosarcoma. Her name is Ronell. (Some of you may know her.) She has already lost her leg and now the cancer has spread to her lungs. She has always wanted to sing in front of a crowd in a concert type setting. A couple other St. Jude families and another dear friend have put this whole thing together for her. Christian artist, Ginny Owens, will be opening for Ronell. She will also have the chance to have a recording session. Everything is coming together nicely. The concert will be at our church. The date was set for March 1st, but I heard today that it might change. We plan on treating her first class the whole night. There are more details that I will share later. Please pray that God will be glorified through this whole ordeal and that lives will be changed. Ronell does have a caringbridge site. It’s www.caringbridge.org/tn/ronell.

Well, I must end this update and start getting ready for bed. Please sign the guestbook before you leave.


Blessed beyond measure,
Dawn


Shae,

Hey sweet baby boy. We miss you so much sweetie. I am ready for spring and to start seeing butterflies. We’ve had snow and I am done with winter. Keep watching over Mason. I hope that you are visiting him in his dreams every night. Hug Jake for us and tell him that we love and miss him too.

Love you bunches,
Mommy and Daddy

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 3:09 PM CST

I'm back to update. Sorry it's been a few weeks since my last. I have been thinking lately about what's the point in updating this site. Shae's not here and Mason isn't sick. I guess I started the site because I wanted others in the world to know about Shae and what a precious angel he was. There has been good to come out of this site though. I have met some wonderful people and made some dear friends and I am very thankful for that. I will probably continue to update.

As you may already know, Brent Nason went home to be with Jesus earlier this month. Days before his passing, his parents were able to witness some really precious conversations that Brent was having with God. What a gift for Brent's parents....to listen to him talk to God. Please pray for them as they learn to face each day without their darling son. Tonya, I love you girl. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Well, Mason had a wonderful Christmas. Prior to Christmas he saw Santa twice and both times he was not afraid to let Santa know what he wanted. Both times he quickly told Santa that he wanted a train for Christmas. So, Santa didn't disappoint this child. His train set is one that came with a table and two drawers for storage. Mason LOVES it. We keep the "map" to the track in one of the drawers because Mason LOVES to take the track apart daily. Crazy kid!! Like I said earlier, he had a wonderful Christmas. He got a portable DVD player, some movies, I Spy book and game, more books, an outfit or two, tons of stuff from the movie Cars, and some other stuff that I am sure I am leaving out. He doesn't quite understand that Christmas is over and was not happy when we took the tree down. He was even more upset when we took down the inflatable Merry-go-round outside. He is still listing new things that he wants for Christmas. I sure love him.

We are still working on getting him potty trained. He’s getting better. I am just ready for him to get it and not have to buy pull ups any more. He still will not tell you he needs to go…you just have to take him every couple of hours. Of course, pooping in the potty is out of the question. His reply to that is, “When I grow up and can touch the sky, I’ll go poopy in the potty.” Wish me luck!!!!!

We are in the process of looking for a new sitter for Mason. His current sitter has mentioned going to work for her daughter. If you have ever had to find a sitter for your child, it takes more that a day or week to find the right person. We are “interviewing” a lady tonight that keeps children in the summer. We mainly need someone for the summer as Mason will be starting pre-school in the fall. (That’s if he’s potty trained.) My mom said that she will help out until we get things settled. Pray for her. She has Fibromyalgia (sp) and arthritis and is in constant pain. She wants to keep Mason so she’ll stay active.

Speaking of my mom. My parents celebrated their 40 year anniversary on Sunday. My dad surprised her with a big lunch at a restaurant with family and friends. My dad and mom both were surprised when my dad’s sister from Florida showed up. Funny story, I was at a Relay For Life meeting Thursday night at a hotel. I was walking out and in walked my aunt. We both just stopped, looked at each other, and said to each other, “What are you doing here?” I had to promise not to tell anyone that she was here so she could surprise my dad and mom. We had a wonderful lunch, but my favorite part was the cake that Todd made for them. It was chocolate on chocolate. It was so yummy and all from scratch. My dad hired him to make the cake.

Todd’s gone from Tool Time Todd to Chef Pierce. He actually had two baking jobs this weekend. The other job was for a girl who was giving her mother a surprise birthday party. She wanted a carrot cake and a red velvet cake. He’s really getting into this baking thing and seems to love it. He wants to open a bakery so bad. We’ll have to get some things lined up before he does this. It will take a good bit of money and patience to get this up and going. So for now, he’s getting orders by word of mouth. I’m so very proud of him.

Well, I must go and try to get some work done. I hope to put some more pictures on here soon. I plan on leaving the ones of Shae up for a while. We have some cute pics of Mason from Christmas that I need to add.

Don’t forget to check on our friends listed below:

Cole Hardy
Liam Reinier
Jordan Amato
Bella Horrocks

And the families of those that have gone home to be with Jesus:

Jake Raborn
Brent Nason
Emma Grace Hampton
Reid and Randon
Stanton Haynes
Jacob Duckworth

Have a wonderful week. Hug your babies tight.


Trusting Him,
Dawn

Saturday, January 13, 2007 9:38 PM CST

I plan on updating soon, so please be sure to check back. We have a busy weekend, but I promise to get back on here soon to catch you all up on how our Christmas went. Santa was good to Mason!!!


Trusting Him,

Dawn

Saturday, December 30, 2006 7:53 AM CST

****Please pray for the Nason family. Brent Nason went home to be with Jesus this morning. Pray for Brent's family as they deal with Brent going home to Heaven. Visit their site and leave a word of encouragement.****






Happy 9th Birthday Shae.


I can't believe that Shae would be 9 today. I look at my niece, Mindy Grace that was born on the same day as Shae, and try to imagine what he would look like. We will always wonder what he would look like with each birthday. We miss him so very much, but knowing that he has a new body in Heaven that is free of pain and cancer helps us get through each moment.

I have a slide show above with LOTS of pictures of Shae from birth to when he went in patient for his bone marrow transplant. I wanted everyone that didn't get to meet Shae to see a glimpse of his little life here on earth. I know that you will enjoy them. Looking at the pictures this weekend made me miss him so much more. I also couldn't believe how much Mason looks like his big brother. I had forgotten how big Shae's eyes were. Each picture brings back so many memories. I look at the picture of Shae & Mindy Grace and think about how just a couple of days later our world changed forever. I'll never forget that day of Shae and Mindy Grace spending time together. I hope that she will always remember Shae and carry her memories in her heart forever. Happy Birthday Mindy Grace....we love you sweetie.

This will be short. I think the pictures say enough.

I pray that you have a Joyous New Year and that you reflect this weekend on how God has blessed you in 2006. As Shae would say, “God is Good, All the Time.”


Holding onto Hope,
Dawn and Todd


Shae,

I have enjoyed looking back at all your pictures. What a funny little guy you were. Your eyes just shine and that smile would melt the coldest heart. And your hair...oh how I miss that blonde hair. We love you angel and look forward to the day that we are reunited with you in Heaven.

Love you Sunshine,
Mommy and Daddy

Thursday, December 21, 2006 4:43 PM CST

****Please go to Stanton's page to read a beautiful poem.****




I just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Joyous New Year. I pray that you find the true Joy in Christmas.

I plan to update again around the 30th. Shae would have been 9 on the 30th. Just hard to believe that one.

Please pray for Brent Nason as he needs a miracle, Jake's family, Reid and Randon's family, and all the families that are spending Christmas without a loved one that has passed away. Pray for the children at St. Jude.

Merry Christmas,
Dawn, Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason

Monday, December 4, 2006 10:39 AM CST

Wow, what an amazing day Saturday was. As you may know, Saturday was the St. Jude Half Marathon/Marathon, Memphis Grizzlies 5K…all raising money for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. When we started Team Shae we only had a couple of people join. By Friday afternoon, we had 28 members. As of this morning, our total amount raised is $8,790.00. We started out with a goal of $3,000.00. I quickly had to raise our limit to $5,000.00. Then we had several people join in one week, so we had to raise our goal again. This time we raised it to $8,500.00. I am very proud to say that we were in the list of top fundraising teams!!! We were so excited and humbled to see so many people join Team Shae. Our team members included the following people:

Jennifer Adams
Ed Bianchi
Angie Brazil
Scott Brazil
Meredith Carlson
Kacy Collier
Debbie Crews
Mellany Evans
Brad Evans
Alex Fletcher
Rob Franks
Barak Griffin
Hannah Griffin
Mike Harris
Lacy Hodges
Mark Horrocks
Kimberly Kennedy
Gayle Lander
Morgan Malone
Ryan Niemeyer
Billy Peacock
Todd Pierce
Jennifer Reese
Josh Tidwell
Heather Tullos
Adam Van Namen
Jessica Williquette
Jack Wright

THANK YOU to each team member that worked hard to not only run in this race, but also worked hard at raising money for such a wonderful cause. I don’t have to tell you what a great place St. Jude is and how much it means to Todd and me. They did all they could for Shae and we are forever grateful for the hospital and it’s staff.

I have decided to run the 5K next year. This will be a challenge as I do NOT like to jog, much less run. I will start my training in March along with several ladies from my church. The date for the race next year is Saturday, December 1st.

Back to Saturday, Jake’s mom made us some signs to hold up for our runners. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to catch up with Staci until after the 5K was over. We did get some pictures of a few runners holding our “Run for Shae” signs. Oh, Staci even made Mason a sign that read, “Thanks for running for my big brother.” We had Team Shae shirts that we sold for $10 with the proceeds going back to St. Jude. Thanks to Jay Nichols for designing the shirt. I got a few good pictures of our runners finishing their 5K. I hope to be able to post all of our pictures tonight on the slide show above when I get home…so be looking for them tomorrow.

It was great seeing Jake’s family on Saturday. It was their first trip back to Memphis since he passed away, so I know that it was a bittersweet trip for them. They had a very large team and raised over $57,000.00. They were the top fundraising team!! Go Team Jake.

Thanks to all who supported Team Shae. We are forever grateful for each team member and each person that donated money. We look forward to Team Shae being bigger next year.

Blessed beyond measure,
Dawn, Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason





Shae,

I know that you were with each runner on Saturday. We promise to continue to keep your legacy alive. Thanks for being such a sweet and precious child. We miss you very much, but are so proud that we are your parents.

Missing you,
Mommy and Daddy

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 10:37 AM CDT

I have been putting off updating for a few days now, because I don’t know where to start. So if I jump around, please forgive me. My heart is heavy right now and I can’t promise to make sense. There, that’s your warning.

I guess I’ll start off with what’s been going on lately with Todd, Mason, and myself. Todd is still working hard. He’s such a good husband and father. I am blessed beyond measure to have him in my life. (I love you Todd.)

Work has been busy. The office I have been in for the last year and a half was just a regular office building. It didn’t look like a bank at all. We finally got another branch built that is a two-story building. We moved in last week and I love it. I am upstairs, so I make sure I take the stairs often. We are set to open on Monday. We are all very excited about our new building. (Are you completely bored yet?)

Mason…that child of mine. He has been busy himself as well. He got to stay with his PaPa and Nana Pierce for about 8 days earlier this month. We finally got him through his “detox” of getting his way. The last couple of weeks, he has had an appetite like never before. There were a couple of days that every two hours he wanted to eat something. I assume he was going through a growth spurt. He loves his new big boy bed. Now, if we can just get him potty trained all will be fine. (Mrs. Jane, that LSU Tigers shirt you saw on Mason was a gift from Mo & Todd. I had Mason wear it for Jordan Amato’s birthday party and in memory of Jake. Jake could get me to do just about anything.)

Now begins the jumping around.

Several weeks ago, my car was in the shop for some warranty work. After a week of it being worked on, I finally got a call to come get it. I had a co-worker drop me off thinking all was good. While waiting for my car, there was a lady in there wanting to get her car looked at. She had just moved to the area and was out job hunting. Anyway, I got my keys to my car and left. I didn’t get out of the parking lot before my car started acting up again. I turned around and went right back in. (This place hates to see me come in.) Anyway, the lady that I mentioned earlier was sitting in the waiting area, so I joined her. She and I got to talking about what she does for a living and why she moved here from Michigan. After talking for a bit, I shared my story about Shae. I knew in my spirit that she was a Christian. Come to find out, she too has a son in Heaven. (God Wink…don’t you think.) Her son, Marcus, passed away about 3 years ago of a rare lung disease. She and I shared how God had worked in our lives and carries us each step of our journey. I know that God had that planned for Mary and I to meet. She lives in Memphis and was in Southaven that day. My car’s problem was they forgot to connect the ground wire. I was a little upset when I had to turn around and come back in, but God knew all along that Mary and I needed to meet. God is such a caring and loving God

As you all may know, Jake Raborn earned his wings on October 5th. My heart is very heavy and it’s hard for me to talk about Jake without crying. Don and Staci are constantly on my mind. I can remember all too well the pain, heartache, tears, and aching arms. We were able to go to Jake’s visitation and life celebration service. We enjoyed spending time with Jake’s family and friends. We were able to put faces with names and hug necks with those that we haven’t seen in a while. We got to meet Mrs. Fay that always signs Jake’s guestbook with such encouraging prayers. If you weren’t able to make it to the service, you missed a special time. Pictures of Jake were everywhere. The two slide shows were just too precious. We sang Jake’s favorite songs and smiled with each one. Jake’s dad, Don, spoke and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house when he was through. Don, I don’t know how you did it. We left to come home Sunday night. We didn’t want to, but we had to get back so we could go get Mason. It was tough leaving.

Todd’s dad told Mason about Jake going to Heaven. He seemed okay at the time. The following Tuesday, Mason woke up wanting to see Jake. On the way to the sitter, he starts crying because he knew that he wouldn’t get to see Jake anymore. All I could do was cry with him. It was a tough day and I had to fight the tears all day. Mason is doing better now, but doesn’t let a day go by without mentioning Jake’s name. We’ve changed his nightly prayer to “God be with Jake’s family.” Then I ask God to let Shae and Jake visit Mason in his dreams.

Todd and I have decided to take a break from St. Jude for a while. I know that Jake’s passing isn’t all about us, but it has really affected us in a way that I never imagined. We still want to be there for families and minister to them, but we need some time first.

Please pray for Don, Staci, Hunter, Hayden, Jin Jin, Mo, Todd, Eddie, Marina, Jordan, Madison, Tucker, Chris, Bonnie, Masie, Maggie, and all of Jake’s grandparents. The days, weeks, months, and years ahead are tough.


Missing Jake,
Dawn




Shae,

My sweet little angel. I miss you so much. Take care of Jake and hug him for us. I know that you have already had fun with him.

Missing you more than yesterday,
Mommy and Daddy

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 2:31 PM CDT

I do plan on updating this week. I have lots to share. Please continue to pray for Jake's family as they start their new life without this precious little guy. Continue to check on them and sign their guestbook letting them know that you are praying earnestly for them.

Trusting Him,
Dawn

Thursday, October 5, 2006 3:45 PM CDT

Jake Owen Raborn earned his wings this afternoon at 3:10. Please be in prayer for his family in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead.

Jake,

I love you sweet boy. I miss you so much already. Thanks for being Mason's friend and loving him. He will miss you so very much. Tell Shae, Emma Grace, Stanton, and all the other St. Jude kids to show you around heaven.

Love,
Ms. Dawn and Mr. Todd

Thursday, October 5, 2006 12:57 AM CDT

Please pray for Jake Raborn. He needs your prayers now. Please pray for his family as well. They are all very special to us and our hearts are very broken right now.

Trusting and Believing Him,
Dawn, Todd, Angel Shae, & Mason



Shae,

Watch over Jake and his family. If God needs Jake in Heaven, be sure to hold his hand and hug him for us.

Love you,
Mommy and Daddy

Monday, September 11, 2006 4:07 PM CDT

Do you remember where you were 5 years ago today? I sure do. I was in Jackson, MS on my way to work for training. I remember listening to the radio when the first plane hit tower 1. The days to follow were consumed with looking at pictures on the internet, watching the news often, and praying that God would be with those searching for people & praying for our country. At that time, we lived in Southaven and our house was no more than 10 miles from the airport so planes flying over was just part of our lives. I’ll never forget how quiet in was when they stopped all air traffic. It was such an eerie feeling. Now 5 years later and it seems the country is more divided than it was before 9/11. I still pray for our country and for our president. I hope you are praying too.


Now to move on to other business. Jake’s Uncle Todd…it’s a date. We would love to come down there to a game. Is LSU playing Ole Miss or Arkansas in LA? I’d wear purple and gold for those games. We do need to get down there. We miss you all so very much. We don’t call everyday, but we do think and pray for Jake daily!!!!! Mo, you better behave yourself and not get “out of commission” again. Jin, aren’t you glad that you are retired to take care of your children? Mrs. Jane…I just read your guestbook entry on Jake’s site from Sunday night. Shame on you for what you said about the Longhorns. I know that OSU beat them, but you live in Longhorn Country. I’d be careful jumping wagons. :-) Staci and Jake, I can’t wait to see you guys this week. My prayer is that when you get there they will not find any tumors and your AFP will have dropped to 7. (You know, simple 7) Call us and let us know if you need anything. Don, I hope your eye is better by now. It’s been a week and surely you can see out of it. Next time, I’ll aim for your arm or something. (Sorry!!)

Well, it was a bittersweet weekend at our house this past weekend. Mr. Mason is no longer in a crib. (I know he’s 3 and should already be in a bigger bed, but if the child is not climbing out why change things.) My dear friend, Cindy, and her husband bought Mason’s crib this weekend. I took pictures of Mason Friday night since that was his last night to sleep in it. We bought him a bed yesterday, but it isn’t available for pick up until Wednesday. Saturday night he slept with us. Last night and the next two nights he will sleep in the guest bedroom in the bed in there. We pushed it up against the wall and he has pillows around him. He was too sweet this morning when I woke him up. He looked so big and yet so small in that bed. My sweet little baby is growing up. Todd and I often tell him that we are going to put a brick on his head so he will quit growing.

Sorry for not updating sooner. I have two good reasons. The first is our computer at home died. We have ordered a new hard drive and are PATIENTLY waiting for it to come in. Second excuse is that our pastor challenged the church to a media fast and I accepted. Now, I will confess that I could not stay away from checking on my caringbridge babies. That was tough. We were not supposed to watch TV, listen to the radio, read the newspaper, read emails, or search the internet. (You were supposed to only read work emails and use the internet if your job required.) It was a long week, but I feel I did rather well. I never realized how much the TV is on and how much I LOVE listening to the radio. There was one time when I was in my car and the phone rang and I reached to turn the radio down. According to Pastor Rick, several people did that. It was an experience.

My black dress that is 2 sizes too small is still hanging up looking at me daily. I don’t exercise daily, but very often. The most I have missed is 3 days in a row and that won’t happen again. I need to get back to drinking more water. I just don’t like the stuff, but I know that I need to. At work, we have a WellnessPlus program and it’s full of helpful information. Today starts a new challenge for everyone to join the program to exercise and log your info. We have a team of ladies that have formed a team. (We all live in DeSoto County so we are the DeSoto Divas.) I am really excited about this. I can honestly say that I have NEVER been excited about exercising, but I am now. (Wish my team and me luck.)

Team Shae is rolling right along. We have 7 team members and are at 60% of our goal. Hope to you there.

Another angel earned her wings yesterday morning. Christal went home to be with the Lord yesterday after a battle with brain cancer. Please click on her name and read about her and her precious family. Keep them in your prayers.

As always, don’t forget to donate platelets and/or blood. Call St. Jude if you are in the Memphis area at 901.495.2024. It’s nice to walk in and the nurses know your name. What a wonderful feeling it is to know that you helped a child that is battling a beast.

Remember the precious children below:

Jake Raborn
Cole Hardy
Brent Nason
Marcus Pinsanor
Madelyn Beamon
Liam Reinier
Jordan Amato
Jabin Lawrence
Randon Miller


Trusting Him,
Dawn

P.S. Please excuse any typos.



Shae,

As always, we miss you so very much sweetie. Keep watching over your busy little brother.

Love you,
Mommy and Daddy

Thursday, August 24, 2006 8:39 AM CDT

Hello faithful few. Can you believe that I am updating again and it’s not September yet? I have to update because I need to share something that’s on my heart.

I went to church Sunday and boy am I glad that I did. We had a guest speaker and I loved it. The sermon was on God is in control. It spoke to my heart in many ways. Steve Farrar was the speaker and will be speaking again on Wednesday night.

The sermon was about Joseph and how he went from victim to victor. (It’s so God that Joseph is what Todd has been reading about to Mason the last several nights.) Anyway, Bro. Steve said something that caught my heart and ears. He was talking about providence and said, “That which God creates, he continually upholds and provides for.” Pretty strong huh? He also said that God is the Father of “in time inventory”. He knows what you need and when you need it. I am going to give you the list that he gave us that God is in control of.

1. Over devastating loss (That sure hit home.)
2. Over ALL circumstances
3. Over all assignments. Some of our assignments are preparation for ultimate work that God has for us to do.
4. Over grievance setbacks.
5. Over broken hopes.
6. Over prolonged waiting. Gotta walk by faith!!!
7. Over powerful people.
8. Over weather, famine, drought, and calamity
9. Over promotion & advancement
10. Over EVERY event in your life, good or bad, and will use it.

God never ceases to amaze me at how he provides in every aspect of my life. He is truly an awesome God and I am blessed beyond measure.

Before going to church Sunday morning I have had a song on my mind that went right along with the sermon and I can’t get it off my mind still. It’s by an old Christian group called Truth. The song is, “God is in control”. When I talked to Staci, Jake’s mom, and she let us know about Jake’s scans I started thinking about this song. Jake has been through so much, but God is in control and He knows what He is doing. Often times it’s hard to take in what all is going on in your life, but God is there each step of the journey. As soon as I find the words to this song I will post it.

When I gave platelets last week, I was told that they are very low on platelets and need donors. If you live in the area, PLEASE call St. Jude to make an appointment to donate. The number to the donor room is 901.495.2024.

Oh, Todd corrected me on my last update. He is running the half marathon and not the 5K. To donate or to join Team Shae click here


Please pray for the children and their families that I have listed below:

Jake Raborn
Cole Hardy
Brent Nason
Marcus Pinsanor
Madelyn Beamon
Liam Reinier
Jordan Amato


Have a wonderful rest of the week. When things seem as though you can’t take anymore, remember that God is in control and He will take care of everything.


Trusting Him,
Dawn


Shae,

Oh how I miss you. Your Aunt Gayle emailed me her favorite picture of you yesterday to put on her Team Shae page. Tears immediately began to fall. It was the picture of you in front of the Christmas tree. It was your last Christmas here with us. Lots of memories came flooding back. I miss your voice, your hair, your laughter, your sweet smile…everything. I miss it all.

Love you,
Mommy and Daddy

Monday, August 14, 2006 1:21 PM CDT

Hello faithful readers. It’s been about 3 weeks since my last update, so it’s time to get on here and let you all know what’s been going on.

We are still wishing we were back at the beach. That was such a nice vacation. Mason keeps saying that we need to go back because he left his camera there. (He doesn’t have a camera!!)

Mason sure keeps us busy and I am so glad. It would be so easy to not want to get out of bed each day if it weren’t for my Mason. He’s so loving and sweet. I can’t imagine and don’t want to imagine my life without him. He came into our lives at a great time and I am forever grateful that God gave him to us.

We went to the lake Saturday with some friends of ours. They have a boat and ask us to go with them often. We love spending time with them and Mason has the best time on the boat. Saturday morning, Mason was not being a good boy and got in trouble 3 times within 10 minutes. Anyway, the moment we got out of the house, his little attitude changed. I was glad because I really wanted to enjoy the day and not keep fussing at him. Of course, Jay & Michele think that Mason does no wrong. As Mason would say, “Whatever”. Jay & Michele’s youngest two boys were having a blast wakeboarding and trying to ski. Todd even got out and tried to wakeboard. After everyone having his or her turn, Mason said that it was his turn. That child is fearless and oh how that scares me sometimes. We didn’t let him try to ski, but have no doubt that he will be trying when gets older. Now, in case you are wondering, I didn’t try to ski or wake board. Dawn doesn’t get in the water unless she can see the bottom or unless it’s extremely too hot and I can’t take it anymore. Thanks Jay and Michele for inviting us. We always have a good time.

Jake Raborn went home-home finally. We were sad yet very excited about him going home. We miss them very much, but so glad that he is doing better. Please keep this miracle child in your prayers. He and his mommy will be here Tuesday night through Friday for scans and other tests. BELIEVE with us that Jake will have great results.

Todd is running the 5K in the St. Jude Memphis Marathon, Half Marathon 5K in December. We have a site that you can go to and visit. Please, if possible, donate money to help research so cures can be found. Todd will be running in memory of Shae. We are really excited about having Team Shae this year. Thanks in advance for donating.

Last night, Todd, Mason, & I went shopping for me some new pants. Anyway, I found this black dress that I LOVE!! I did something a little crazy and bought it 2 dress sizes too small. It is my goal to get in that dress by the first of the year. Is that crazy or what? I got up at 5:00 this morning and exercised. Did you know that the sun is not out at that time? Oh well, I guess I’ll get used to getting up that early soon.

Sorry this hasn’t been a very uplifting update. I’ve got things on my mind and am getting a headache.

If you live in the Memphis area and can donate platelets, call 901.495.2024 to make an appointment. I’ll be going on Wednesday to give.

Have a great week and know that God is in control. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. “Don't be afraid; you are more valuable to [God] than a whole flock of sparrows.” Matthew 10:31, NLT

Trusting Him,
Dawn


Shae,

Boy you are busy making sure that mommy and daddy know that you are around. We saw lots of butterflies Saturday. Two of them were at the lake. One just kept fluttering around close to the boat. I saw one earlier today while running an errand. You always know when to send me one. You are the best!!! We miss you so very much and look forward to the day that we can hold you again.

Love you,
Mommy and Daddy

Thursday, July 27, 2006 9:29 AM CDT

***New picture of Mason on the photo page***


WHY…

That seems to be Mason’s favorite question right now. Here is his favorite conversation with me.

Mason: “Mommy, what are you doing?”
Dawn: “Loving you”.
Mason: “Why?”
Dawn: “Because you are the best.”
Mason: “Why I the best?” (Not a typo, that’s how he says it.)
Dawn: “Because God made you that way.”
Mason: “Why did God make me that way?”
Dawn: “Because we needed you.”
Mason: “Why did you need me?”
Dawn: “Because we miss Shae, so God gave us you.”
Mason: “Why do you miss Shae?”
Dawn: “Because he is in Heaven.”
Mason: “Why is he in Heaven?”
Dawn: “Because God needed him.”
Mason: “Who made God?”

Now, how do you answer that last question? We have been telling him that God has always been here, but it’s hard for him to understand that one. Any suggestions? This child…what a precious baby he is.

Well, we could not have asked for a better vacation. It was so relaxing. We didn’t want to come home!!! Mason had a blast. We got there Wednesday afternoon. Now, let me back up about 6 years for you. Shortly after Shae was diagnosed, we begged to go on a vacation to Gulf Shores before Shae got his line in. They let us go and off we went. We went with some dear friends of ours and split the cost of the condo. Where we stayed was at The Beach Club. There were two towers of condos at that time…now there are four. Anyway, the name of the tower where our condo was is the Catalina. It had the perfect view of the ocean. Now, back to last week. We pulled up to The Beach Club and quickly realized that we were at the same place as 6 years ago with Shae. (We couldn’t remember where we had stayed before.) Todd and I just looked at each other when we realized where we were. The condo we were staying in was in the Catalina. I don’t know if it was the same condo, but it was the same floor plan. Talk about bittersweet. We took Mason to the beach Thursday morning and after an hour of “Wipe my hands”, we decided to go to the pool. The pool is where we hung out the rest of our time there. We really had a wonderful time. (Thanks Melanie.) Each night, Todd left the sliding door open to our bedroom so we could hear the ocean and the waves. It was so peaceful. Mason enjoyed the pool. He started out clinging on to Todd, but by the end of the week he was doing a crazy dance just before jumping off the side of the pool to Todd. He’s a funny kid.

When I got back to work, I had an email from a dear friend about another family that needs our prayers. Carol has an angel in Heaven. Reid passed away of a rare bone marrow disease. Last week, she had another baby boy. Shortly after he was born, they realized that he has the same disease as Reid. Please stop by their site and leave a word of encouragement. They need our prayers.

Jake - If you were to look in the dictionary at the word Miracle, you would probably see Jake’s precious face next to it. This child has been blessed time and time again with beating odds and stumping the staff at St. Jude. We went to see him the other night at the Target House. He looked wonderful. He was laughing and smiling the whole time. I even got a fake burp out of him. It was so good to see him. Guess what? He could be going home the first of next week. Yes, you read that right. He will have to come back every 2 weeks, but he will get to be at home. What an awesome gift from God.

Next week, will be a tough one for us. July 31st is when we took Shae to find out what was wrong with him and Aug. 4th was day of diagnosis. Please remember us in prayer next week as we still can remember those days as if were last week.

Please continue to pray for the children below:

Jordan Amato
Cole Hardy
Brent Nason
Liam Reinier
Madelyn Beamon
Marcus Pinsanor

Also, don’t forget to pray for those that have angels in Heaven:

Emma Grace
Stanton
Jacob


We are continuing to enjoy Colonial Hills Church. Each Sunday that we go, I see more people that I know. It feels like home to me when we are there. Thanks for praying for us during our search for a new church home. Tina, Tammi, Jennifer, Dianna, Brooke, & Audrey, I look forward to seeing you all in church again and getting involved in a group.

Have a wonderful week and weekend. Don’t forget to donate platelets at St. Jude. Call 901.495.2024 to make an appointment.

Holding on to HOPE,
Dawn




Shae,
You were thought of so very often last week while in Gulf Shores. I am so glad that God orchestrated things the way he did. Give him a hug from us. We love you and miss you much.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Monday, July 17, 2006 11:11 PM CDT

This will be short as it is late and I am getting very sleepy.

We leave Wednesday morning for Gulf Shores and we can't wait. What a wonderful time we will be having. Mason is telling everyone he sees that we are going to the beach. He is such a hoot.

Today was a very special day for me. I am off work all week this week, so today I spent most of the day at St. Jude. As soon as I got there I went straight to Jake's room. He was wide awake and looking good. They are talking about sending him home-home soon. Can you believe that? This kid is a miracle. Anyway, it was fun loving on him. I made sure that I left a couple lipstick marks on his head before I left.

Next, I ran into Marcus Pinsanor's mom, Michelle, in the gift shop. She said that Marcus had spiked a fever this morning and his is requiring more oxygen now. Please pray for Marcus. Pray for his mom too. His site is below. Please click on his name and be sure to sign his guestbook.

After talking to Michelle, I finally caught up with Mark, Mylissa, and Bella Horrock. They were waiting in D clinic. I got to go back in the room with them while they talked to their doctor. Bella has been 3 years NED. Praise the Lord!!! The Horrocks just moved up here this weekend. They are the founders of Habitat for Hope and felt like they needed to be here in Memphis to have their ministry grow. Please click on the link above to find out more about this wonderful ministry!

After Bella's appointment we went down to the cafeteria to eat. I couldn't resist getting the chicken strips. Anyway, Staci Raborn joined us for lunch. We enjoyed dining with her. After lunch and a quick trip to the gift shop, I went back to see Jake. I got to watch him do his physical therapy. He is such a strong little guy. God's healing power is so evident in his life! His AFP (tumor marker) dropped almost half today. Click on his name below to read more about Jake.

My next journey was to the Target House to meet Liam. He is a precious 4 year old with MDS. (Same as Shae.) That kid stole my heart today. His smile would melt your heart. He is so sweet and doesn't have shy bone in his body. He gave me one of his cards and I carry it with pride. His Grandmother is making pillow cases for other patients. They are really neat. I think it's a wonderful ministry and idea. Gina, Liam's mom, and I had a wonderful talk today. They are looking at going home soon. I hope they do. Remember them Tuesday when they go in for clinic.

I said that this would be short, but it isn't looking like it. Please pray for the children below:

Jake Raborn
Liam Reinier
Marcus Pinsanor
Cole Hardy
Brent Nason
Jordan Amato
Madelyn Beamon

These children fight cancer daily. Pray for them and their families.


Say a prayer for us as we travel Wednesday. We will return on Sunday. Have a wonderful week and don't forget to love your babies. Give them an extra hug.

Trusting Him,
Dawn


Shae,
I miss you sweetie. I saw two of our favorites nurses today. Mrs. Gina said that she was thinking about you earlier. It makes my heart smile to know that people still think about you. We love you and wish you were going to the beach with us. Of course, I know that you will send us a butterfly letting us know that you are there. Oh, thanks for the butterfly at Caroline's party.

Love you sweetie,
Mommy and Daddy

Saturday, July 8, 2006 8:08 AM CDT

I am over due for an update, so here it is. Mo, Don, and Staci, I am sure that your three will be the first ones to sign the guestbook. (I love you guys)

My house has been a complete mess for over a week now, but it’s a good thing. My husband that has always believed in paying people to do things has become “Tool Time Todd”. In May he built a fence for our backyard. That is what started this mission his has. I am currently sitting in my living room on my loveseat with my feet propped up on my bed. Yes, I said my bed. It’s in my living room. Todd has painted the living room and the walls going up the stairs. Before he painted, he ripped the carpet out of the living room. We now walk on Pergo flooring. The color is Heirloom Maple. (The walls are Late’) Anyway, after working 12 hours yesterday, he came home and we moved our bedroom into the living room and the carpet in our bedroom is officially out. My job today is to put plastic down in the bedroom so when Todd finishes another 12 hour shift at work today, he can start the new flooring in there. In the middle of putting the flooring down in the living room, he decided to build a shelf for our TV nook above the fireplace. Now the DVD/VCR combo and the satellite box sit under the TV. Thursday morning while I was getting ready, he asked me what color I wanted our bathroom painted. What? I haven’t even thought about that, but you can bet that I am now. Our bedroom was painted shortly after we moved in, so he doesn’t have to worry about that. Once the flooring is finished in our bedroom, we will put the furniture back, but in different places. I am excited about moving things around. Our neighbor came over last night and now she has the fever to rip out her carpet and get new flooring. She does the books for two construction companies, so she will have an easy time getting help with her projects. Todd has even offered to build her fence. Of course, all she needs is the two sides that connect to her house. Are you tired yet from reading what all Todd has been doing this summer? Oh, once the flooring is done and we decide on what to do with Mason’s bed, we will be painting Mason’s room.

Now as you can imagine, Mason has been in the middle of all of this. Although, last night he spent the night at my mom and dad’s house. He’ll be there most of today since I will be shopping with a dear friend of mine. We will be shopping for maternity clothes for her. She and I have been best friends since we were 10. Anyway, I look forward to spending time with her.

Back to Mason. He’s been a busy boy this summer too. Our dear friends, Jay and Michele, have a boat so we have been to the lake a couple of times with them. Mason LOVES it. The first time the water was a bit chilly, so he wasn’t excited about getting his feet wet, but he did ride in a tube with his daddy. He kept hollering my name and saying, “Look mom, no hands”. Thank goodness his daddy had a good hold on him.
We went this past Sunday and he sat on the edge and put his feet in. We didn’t do the tube this time, but he still had a wonderful time. He loves going on the boat. I am sure that he will be trying to water ski in the next few years.

If you look at Mason’s legs, arms, and sometimes his head you would think that we beat him, but we don’t. He is a very busy 3 year old that can’t go a week without a new bruise somewhere. Earlier this week, he fell and hit his chin. His bottom teeth cut the inside of his bottom lip pretty bad, but the kid still ate chicken nuggets for lunch. I would want ice cream or something like that. He just bounces right back and keeps on going. Not much fear in his little bones. Luckily for us, he is so very loving and is constantly telling us how much he loves us. (I tend to think that is part of Shae coming out in him.)

Mason and I went to see Jake Thursday night. Mo was there and was ready to play with Mason. She kept pulling his pants down and pulling his shirt over his head. He was laughing so hard. She’s a funny woman and Mason adores her. (Staci he loves you too.) When he sees Jake, he doesn’t know what to do. It’s really hard for him, because he thinks Jake should be up and running around with him. Jake did play peek-a-boo with him the other night which made my heart smile big time. Jake looks different and I believe that Mason has a hard time understanding. Oh, Mason asked me the other day where Jake’s hair was. Now, we have known Jake for 9 months and he is just now asking where Jake’s hair is. I basically told him that Jake got medicine that made his hair sick and it came out. Mason’s response was, “Okay”. Life goes on for Mason. All throughout the day, you can hear Mason saying, “Heal Jake and all the kids at St. Jude, Amen.” I am so thankful that Mason is always praying for his buddy.

We have visited two churches in the last two weeks. The first one was right around the corner from our house. As my dad would say, “It was as dry as cracker juice”. The church we came from was HUGE and the worship service was awesome. So we need more than a piano. This past Sunday we visited Colonial Hills Church which is about 12 miles from our house. WE LOVED IT!!! The worship service was awesome and the sermon was great. Everyone was friendly. Of course, it was like old home week for me. I saw so many people that I know. There are 3 St. Jude families that go there. Todd is working tomorrow, but Mason and I will be there for sure. He loved his class and that always makes me feel better. I have no desire to visit another church and there are LOTS of churches to visit. I just felt at home while we were there. They have several small groups to pick from and that excites me.

If Todd isn’t working, painting, or putting in new flooring, he is cooking for Jake’s family and the nurses in the blood donor room. He and I have gotten better about donating platelets at least twice a month. So Todd likes to make the nurses there something sweet since they take good care of us. They are wonderful and if you are interested in donating, call 901.495.2024 to make an appointment. They are in constant need for donors.

Jake is back on the transplant floor and seems to be doing well. Having his Aunt Mo there has been good medicine for him. He has been laughing and talking more which is great for him. Please keep Jake in your prayers.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that we will be going to Gulf Shores in about 10 days. We are so excited. We both need this vacation. Mason will have a blast. We will be gone from Wednesday through Sunday. My sister will be staying at our house to watch the dog. Before we leave, we have family coming in town next Friday night. Todd’s aunt and three cousins will be coming in. One of his cousins will be celebrating her first birthday while here. Todd’s sister, Diana, also will be having a birthday while everyone is in town. The party will be here. I have lots of cleaning to do, but that’s okay.

I must end this and start getting ready to go shopping. Pray for the following children:

Jordan - He will be having a MRI on Monday. Pray for good results and that Jordan doesn’t have any problems during the test.

Brent - He needs his platelets to go up so he can stay on schedule for his chemo.

Marcus - He needs prayer for his lungs and heart.

Liam - He and Marcus both have what Shae had. (That’s another update that I will share later.) Anyway, Liam is close to getting to go home. I haven’t gotten the chance to meet him yet, but I hope to soon. Gina, maybe next week?

Cole - Cole is still fighting the beast. Pray for him and his family.

Bella - She and her wonderful family are moving here next week and I can’t wait. She will be having scans on the 17th and we believe that she is still NED. Pray for Bella and her family as the leave Florida to move here and minister to families as they have been called by God to do. Mark and Mylissa, we can’t wait. I am so excited to know that you guys will be close now.

Well, I officially have typer’s cramp. My fingers and wrist are hurting, so I will close this update. Hug your children extra tight. Let them live life to its fullest and cherish every moment.

Holding on to Hope,
Dawn



Shae,

We think about you constantly and often wonder what you would look like now. Daddy and I talk about what would be your hobbies and if you would be trying to ski like Micah does. Keep watching over your brother and Jake. Gulf Shores will be a bitter sweet vacation for us. The last time we were there, you were there with us. It was right after you were diagnosed. I can remember like it was yesterday you running to the balcony and yelling to the people below, “Hello down there”. I wonder if Mason will do that. I love you sweetie and miss you so much. My arms ache to hold you and I long to hear your voice. Tell your Ma Ma that we are thinking about her. Monday will be her anniversary of going to heaven. Be sure to eat some icky with her. Hug her tight for your daddy. I know that he misses her too. I can’t wait to meet her when we all get there.

We love you,
Mommy and Daddy

Friday, June 23, 2006 3:01 PM CDT

I was trying to get on a schedule of updating every Friday, but as you know, that hasn’t worked. I have wanted to update everyday this week, but just have not found the time to.

Todd seemed to have a good Father’s Day. He wanted Sirius Satellite Radio and that is what he got. We also went to eat at Texas De Brazil. It was so good. I’d love to go back there now. YUMMY!! Anyway, after we left the restaurant, we went to see Jake. He was looking good.

If you keep up with Jake then you know that he is off that nasty vent. We were up there last night and he looked Great. We even got to hear him talk. I can’t wait for that boy to get out of there so we can all play. Mason is getting tired of the “Jake’s asleep” excuse. Hopefully, Mason will get to see Jake this weekend. (Keep your fingers crossed.) It might be next week though. I don’t know. Jake is a miracle boy. He continues to fight and not give up. He amazes me with this strength and stamina. God has worked a miracle in his little life. Don and Staci are so grateful for what God has done for their little guy.

I heard a song the other day that reminded me of Shae. Mark Harris sings it and it’s called “Wish you were here”.


I wanted to tell you how closely I’ve kept
The memories of you in my heart
And all of the lifetimes that we had to share
Live even though we’re apart

But don’t cry for me
‘Cause I’m finally free

Chorus:
To run with the angels
On streets made of gold
To listen to stories of saints new and old
To worship our Maker
That’s where I’ll be
When you finally find me

Now don’t you be weary cause waiting for you
Are wonders that you’ve never known
Just hold on to Jesus, reach out for His hands
And one day they’ll welcome you home

And that’s when you’ll be
Finally free
Finally free

(Chorus)


And all the dreams that you treasure
Will soon come together
And that’s when your sorrow will find tomorrow
And you will rise again

(Chorus)


We’ll run with the angels on streets made of gold
We’ll listen to stories of saints new and old
We’ll worship our maker that’s where we’ll be
When you finally find me

I wish you were here.


Isn’t that wonderful? I can’t wait to “find” Shae. We miss that little guy so much. He’s everywhere we turn though and we find comfort in knowing that he’s not too far away from us.

Continue to pray for our friends that are battling the beast daily.

Jordan
Brent
Marcus - He has/had what Shae had.
Cole
Madelyn

Don’t forget to donate platelets and blood. The number to the St. Jude blood donor room is 901.495.2024.

Holding on to Hope,
Dawn

Shae,

As always, we miss you sweetie. We look forward to the day that we can run with the angels with you and listen to stories of the saints. What a joy it will be to hold you again.

Love you baby,
Mommy and Daddy

Friday, June 9, 2006 3:34 PM CDT

Good afternoon all. Today is such a beautiful day. Only God could make such a wonderful day as today. It’s hot, but it’s beautiful. As always, I have been busy, but I am sitting down to update you all on lots of stuff. Sit back and relax it might take a while.

Jake is holding his own and fighting like a champ. The settings on his vent continue to get lowered and he is tolerating it well. We try to get up there to see he and his parents often. I stopped by yesterday after giving platelets to see them. Staci was asleep in the recliner in Jake’s room, Don was asleep in the parent room and Jin Jin, Jake’s grandmother, was in the waiting room. I talked to Jake for a couple of minutes and then left. He’s looking so much better. I can’t wait for him to get off the vent so I can see his eyes and hear his voice. Please continue to pray for Jake and his family.

After I left Jake’s room, I went to a TGI Friday’s to pick up dinner for another St. Jude family. Habitat For Hope was supplying the dinner; all I had to do was go pick it up for them. Will is the patient’s name. His mom is Susanne and his dad is Bill. He also has four sisters. Anyway, Will is very sick and needs your prayers. He was admitted to ICU this morning. He basically has no immune system. Please pray for God’s grace and wisdom to be with his parents. Pray for Will not to have pain and for a healing that comes only from our Heavenly Father. You can click on his name above to see what a beautiful child he is. He’s about one month older than Mason.

Brent didn’t get the news that he and his family were hoping for. They were having another scan today. You can click on his name to keep up with him. I haven’t gotten to talk to Tonya lately, but I know that they would appreciate your prayers.

Todd and I had a wonderful time in Texas. Mason FINALLY got home from visiting with his grandparents. We are still trying to retrain him on his manners. I guess he left them there. You can tell he got spoiled while there. It’s so good to have him home though. Tomorrow Mason and I are going to see the movie Cars. He has no idea, so I know that he will be very excited when we get there. I have already bought the tickets online. I have two regrets though. I wish Shae were here to go with us and I wish Jake were well enough to go too. Mason and Jake LOVE cars, so this is a perfect movie for them both.

Todd finished putting up our fence and I am so proud of him. He has done this without any help. It looks great and it’s nice to have a fenced in back yard. Our dog loves it too. He loves to be outside and now we can just put him out back and not worry about him running off. (He thinks that one day he’s going to catch a bird at the bird feeder. I wish him luck.)

We will be having a “first” in our home soon. While Mason was at his grandparent’s house, he slept in a toddler bed and LOVED it. I have wanted to do that at home, but his daddy has not been excited about it. He’s not ready for Mason to move on to bigger things. It’s cute to see Todd avoid the conversation. Mason is three and it’s time. I say that it’s a first because we never got the chance to do this with Shae. As a matter of fact, soon we will start lots of “firsts” with Mason. It’s bitter sweet. On June 24th, Mason will be the exact age that Shae was when he passed away. I know, you are probably wondering why in the world did I count that up and see, but it’s something mother’s do. It’s hard to explain. I guess I counted it up so maybe I could breathe a sigh of relief after that day passes. Maybe it’s because after that day Mason will be like our first child. I don’t know. Again, it’s a hard thing to explain. I continue to check out Mason daily…I always will. I don’t know what God has in store for Mason and I try not to live each day wondering if he has something wrong with him. I have to get up and trust God each day to bless him with perfect health. It’s funny the things that I think about with Mason when I compare him with Shae. The things that are different, I use as assurance for myself that we get to keep Mason. Crazy isn’t it? You know if you let him, Satan can really have a field day with your mind.

Todd and I have left our church for a couple of reasons. Please pray for us as we search for a new church home where we can all three be fed. The church we were attending is 40 to 45 minutes from our home and I really want to go to a church where Mason can grow up with friends that live close to him.

Well, I must end this journal. You are probably tired of reading it anyway. Please sign the guestbook before you leave. Hug your babies tight and never take for granted what you have…it could be gone tomorrow.

Don’t forget to give platelets and/or blood at St. Jude if you live in the area. Todd, his sister Gayle, and I all gave in the last week. What a rewarding experience it is. You get stuck twice, but that’s the least I can do for these kids at St. Jude. While I was sitting there and a little pain would hit, I would say to myself, “Shae had it worse than this”. (I am not a fan of needles.) Anyway, I’ll do it again soon. Jake is getting platelets and blood daily, so we are giving in honor of him.

Okay, I am really ending this now. Have a wonderful weekend. When you see a butterfly be sure to think of Shae and smile.

Trusting Him,
Dawn


Shae,

Hey sweet baby. Mommy had a rough day this week missing you really bad. It hit me very hard, but I got through it. I miss you so much. My arms still ache to hold you and oh if I could hear your voice one more time. Keep watching over Jake. Please watch over Will too. He’s little like Mason and needs lots of prayer.

We love you baby,
Mommy and Daddy

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 10:57 AM CDT

Well, we had a wonderful vacation. Texas is nice and hot, but we had a great time. Todd LOVES going home and remembering things. He gets so homesick each time we visit there.

Mason is still with his Pa Pa and Na Na Pierce in Crossville, TN. He will be home tomorrow. We can’t wait. We miss him so much. It’s been tough without him, but we have survived. We have talked to him daily and he has been a busy little guy. He’s such the social butterfly, so he’s enjoyed meeting some new people.

This will be another short one due to me trying to catch up here at work. I have lots to do. Todd is off today finishing our fence. This has been a big project for him and it’s taken a while, but he’s doing a great job.

We went to St. Jude to see Jake last night. He is still on the vent in ICU. So many memories of Shae came flooding back. Jake is a fighter and has been holding his own. Last night was a rough night, but they are working to keep him stable. Please pray for this family. Jake needs a miracle. Click on his name to go to his site to keep up with his progress and family.

Also, please pray for the following children:

Brent Nason He had an MRI this morning. He has had severe pain in his face. Please pray for good news.

Cole Hardy He is still going through treatment. He is going on his Make-A-Wish trip soon.

Jordan Amato He needs prayers for a smooth sleep study. Read his site for more info.

Jacob Duckworth He is on the vent, but seems to be doing better. He’s an amazing fighter like Jake.

If you are a prayer warrior, feel free to visit any of the sites listed above, but you can also go to Habitat For Hope and sign up to be a prayer partner for other children as well. This is a WONDERFUL organization that is working in the Will of God to help families with children with catastrophic diseases. Mark and Mylissa, thanks so much for all you do. We can’t wait for you all to move here.

As always, don’t forget to donate platelets and/or blood at St. Jude if you are in the Memphis area. The number to the donor room is 901.495.2024. I’ll be calling shortly to make an appointment.

Have a wonderful week and remember that God is in control. He loves each and every one of you. Turn to Him for you needs and, of course, don’t forget to praise Him for your blessings.


Holding on to Hope,
Dawn


Shae,

We miss you sweetie. Please keep watching over Jake. Give him heavenly kisses that make him well.

Love you baby,
Mommy and Daddy

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 4:30 PM CDT

Todd and I are leaving in the morning for Texas. Pray for safe travel for us.

While you are praying, please pray for Jake Raborn as he is fighting for his life. He is critical and needs your prayers.

Don't even bother to sign Shae's guestbook right now, go directly to Jake's and leave a prayer and/or word of encouragement for Jake's family. Keep checking on him throughout each day and never stop praying for him.

Believing for Jake's healing here on earth,
Dawn


Shae,

Sweetie, I am asking still that you and your buddies watch over Jake. Pray for him.

Love you baby,
Mommy

Monday, May 22, 2006 8:02 PM CDT

I plan to update more later, but right now we need you all to pray for Jake Owen Raborn. Jake is going through so much right now and needs God's healing Hands on him.

While praying for Jake, please pray for his parents Don and Staci. Speaking from experience they are mentally warn out and need strength. Please pray for a double dose of peace for them as they deal with Jake's obstacles. Jake will be having some "procedures" tomorrow and he needs your prayers.

Jake, I love you big guy. We are praying so very hard for you and your parents. Hang in there hero and keep fighting. We've got your back buddy. Mason is still praying for you each meal and at night time. He even has his friends praying for you. One of his friends today went to his prayer closet to pray for you.

Don and Staci, you guys know that we are here for you and love you all so very much. Our hearts are breaking for you guys, but we haven't stopped praying.

Mo, Jin Jin, Hunter, Hayden, & Todd, you all are in our prayers too. Thanks for letting us be a part of your lives. We love you all so very much.

BELEIVING FOR JAKE'S HEALING HERE ON EARTH,
Dawn, Todd, Angel Shae, & Mason


Shae,

Sweetie we need you to get your buddies together and watch over Jake for us tomorrow and the rest of the days ahead. Stay with him and never let go of his hands.

We love you,
Mommy & Daddy

Friday, May 12, 2006 12:38 AM CDT

Somebody please stop this busy wagon I’m on. Man, we have not had one weekend since the 28th of April that we didn’t have somewhere to be. The first weekend that we don’t have something to do is the first weekend in June and if my memory serves me correctly we may be having a family reunion on the Pierce side. Lord, grant me strength please. We haven’t even been to see Jake in almost two weeks and that is killing me. I hope that we make it up there Saturday night. I need a Raborn fix soon.

I don’t know even where to start. My new position at work is going wonderfully and God is so good to take care of me. I may be 35, but he is molding me daily. Pray that I don’t give him any lip on things he wants me to do.

Today at 4:00, DeSoto County’s Relay For Life starts. BankPlus, my bank, has a team. We are very excited and hope to raise lots of money for such a worthy cause. I will be staying all night long. It ends at 6:00 in the morning. Poor Todd and Mason…a mommy with no sleep is not a pretty thing sometimes. Todd has already said that he will get Mason up and they will go eat and run errands so I can have some good sleep. Anyone want to take our dog Jesse for a few hours? Just kidding. He will be fine. Speaking of Jesse, he is doing much better on getting house broken. Poor dog, I have threatened him so many times to take him off somewhere and leave him if he didn’t get the hang of it soon.

Todd and I will be leaving for Texas on the 24th of this month for his 20-year class reunion. We are very excited about this and can’t wait for this mini vacation. Mason will not be going with us. He will be staying with Todd’s dad and step mom for 7 days. You all better pray extra hard for Todd and I during this time, because that is a LONG time without our Mason. Pray that Mason will do well with being without his parents for so long. Todd and I don’t even talk about being without him. It will be tough, but we’ll all survive.

If you have been keeping up with Jake, you know that he’s had a rough time. Please continue to pray for Jake’s healing here on earth and pray for his family. Stop by his site and leave some encouraging words. Leave his site praying earnestly for him.

There is much more to tell, but I need to go and get some things for Relay For Life. Happy Mother’s Day to each grandmother, mother, stepmother, and mother-to-be. What a special day this is. I hope each of you get what you want and need.

Keep looking up and find peace that God is in complete control.

Holding on to Hope,
Dawn


Shaester,

My sweet baby boy. I miss you little guy and look forward to the day that we are reunited to spend eternity with our Heavenly Father. Keep sending me butterflies. Watch over your brother.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 2:21 PM CDT

I’m back. Sorry it’s been so long since you have heard from me. I haven’t even been faithful about signing other guest books lately. I am so busy with my job. It’s good though. I have been given more opportunity here and it is requiring me to be out of the branch a lot.

Last weekend, I went to Nashville with 4 of my friends for a girl’s weekend. It was a good time away, but I was glad to get home to Todd and Mason. We shopped all day Saturday at Opry Mills. That mall is huge. We didn’t even cover the whole mall. Half way through shopping, I stopped and bought me some Crocs and was ready for another round. Those shoes are so comfortable. Anyway, it was a good weekend.

Last Thursday night we had the pleasure of meeting some wonderful people. Mark and Mylissa Horrock from HFH were in town and we planned a dinner to meet other St. Jude families and others that are excited and want to help HFH. We got to meet Madelyn Beamon and her family. She is a cutie and Mason had a good time with her. A single mom named D’Anna and her little boy Mason were also there. Mason has the same cancer as Jake, but a different stage. He was so cute just smiling. I believe that he is 18 months. Then there was a couple there that is so excited about HFH and want to help. Ed and Ashley. (I can’t remember their last name…sorry guys.) Anyway, they are a very sweet couple that wants to help bless other families. And last, but certainly not least, Staci Raborn was there. Don was in town so she was able to get out of the hospital for a meal out. She seemed to have a good time. I know that I enjoyed her being there. I hope it did her some good to be out of the hospital.

If you haven’t already done so, please stop by the Habitat For Hope website to see what it’s all about and how you can help. This is exactly what Todd and I had in mind that we want to do. God has orchestrated everything and my heart is excited about what is about to come from this ministry. God is Good, ALL the time. We suffered a great loss, but have found Joy through helping others.

Mason is doing wonderful. Busy as can be. We had his birthday party a few weeks back. It was a cold day, but we survived. As you may remember, we asked for no gifts, just money for St. Jude. We got over $200.00. I am waiting on one other lady that said that she wanted to donate before I send all the money in. Mason never even missed the gifts. He was too excited about everyone singing to him and getting to blow out the candles. He is so smart and what a cutie. I know, I’m his mom and this is just my opinion, but I have several others that agree with me. Just ask his grandparents. (he he)

Please continue to pray for Mason’s buddy Jake Raborn as he is still in the hospital. He is finally out of ICU and back on the 4th floor of St. Jude. He is getting over the Rotovirus. He is currently getting radiation and will for the rest of this week and the next 2 weeks. Stop by his site for updates and don’t forget to sign their guestbook. They love to read guestbook entries.
Spring is here and the butterflies are out everywhere. I see so many everyday and with each one that flutters by, I think of my Shae. What a sweetie he was. Oh how we miss him. I hope that with each butterfly that you see, you think of our Shae. Mo, thanks for always letting me know when you think about Shae and why. I LOVE to hear those stories. They make my heart smile.

Don’t forget to pray for our St. Jude buddies listed below:

Cole Hardy
Brent Nason
Jordan Amato
Bella Horrock

Each family above needs your prayers and would love for you to stop by, read their site, and sign their guestbook. Thank you to all of you that sign Shae’s. It means a great deal to us. If you just stop by and don’t sign because you don’t know what to say, all you have to say is “hello”.

As always, please donate platelets and/or blood at St. Jude. The number to the blood donor room is 901-495-2024. I know that they would love to hear from you.


Filled with Joy,
Dawn


Shae,
It’s my favorite time of year. I think of you all year long, but the spring is extra special to us. Keep watching over your brother.

Love you to the moon and back,
Daddy and Mommy

Saturday, April 15, 2006 10:21 PM CDT

Well, it’s finally time for an update. We’ve been so concerned about Jake that the only thing I felt I could write was to ask for your prayers for Jake and his family. Our hearts are still heavy for him. Mason loves Jake and we want to see him healed here on earth.

As I have thought about this weekend and what it means to me I am reminded of a song by Nicole C Mullen called Redeemer. I have always loved this song, but this weekend it just keeps coming to mind. Below are the words to this song.



Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?
and Who told the ocean you can only come this far?
and Who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening?
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?

Chorus:
Well I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
All of creation testifies
This life within me cries
I know my Redeemer lives yeah


The very same God that spins things in orbit
runs to the weary, the worn and the weak
And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken
They conquered death to bring me victory

Chorus:
Now I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let this life within me cry
I know my Redeemer, He lives


To take away my shame
And He lives forever, I'll proclaim
That the payment for my sin
Was the precious life He gave
But now He's alive and
There's an empty grave


And I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let this life within me cry
I know my Redeemer,


I know my Redeemer
I know my Redeemer lives
I know my redeemer lives
I know that I know that I know that I know that I know my redeemer lives
Because He lives I can face tomorrow
I Know I know
He lives he lives yeah yeah I spoke with him this morning
He lives he lives, the tomb is empty,
He lives I gotta tell everybody


I am so glad that My Redeemer lives. He rose from the grave and lives FOREVER. Praise the Lord. I am so unworthy of His love and mercy, but He loves me anyway and continues to give me strength.

I hope to update again soon. Please pray for Jake, Don, and Staci. Of course, please pray for this whole family.


Rejoicing that My Redeemer lives,
Dawn


Shae,

I can’t image what Easter is like in Heaven. How wonderful it must be to sit at our redeemer’s feet and praise him. We love you baby. Thanks for all the butterflies.

Love you bunches,
Daddy & Mommy

Tuesday, April 11, 2006 5:55 AM CDT

Please go to Jake's site and read the latest update. They need your prayers now.


Believing,
Dawn

P.S. I'll update more later. Just please pray for Jake Raborn.

Thursday, April 6, 2006 8:45 AM CDT

Happy Birthday to Mason Todd Pierce. Our sweet angel turns 3 today. I can’t believe that he is three. What a big boy he is. We might be a bit bias, but we think he is very smart.

We are having his party Saturday evening at a park here in Hernando. We have invited, of course, family and friends along with some St. Jude families. Pray for great weather and a fun filled evening.

Mason,

Mommy and Daddy are so very proud of you. You are loved more than you could ever know. You have helped your daddy and I so much with dealing with each day of your brother not being here. You make us smile with your cute little remarks, your dances, and the way you say I love you. You are a hoot little guy and we are so thankful that God blessed us with you. We hope that you will always know that you are very special to us and we love you so very much.

Love you harder than thunder can bump a stump,
Mommy and Daddy



Shae,

Be sure to send Mason a birthday kiss in his dreams today. We love you sweetie.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Sunday, March 26, 2006 9:43 PM CST

If you keep up with Jake Raborn, you know that he is having brain surgery on Monday to remove two tumors. Todd, Mason, and I are asking you to pray for Jake all day tomorrow. He has to be at the hospital by 8:00 to start lab work and other things in order to get ready for his surgery. Pray for peace for Jake as he goes into surgery. He's a smart little guy and is very aware of what he goes through. Pray for his parents, Don and Staci, as they watch their son be wheeled into the operating room again. Pray that they will feel God's peace surround them and that God's strength will sustain them. Pray for Jake's family that are here to support him and his parents. Pray for Jake's doctors, nurses, and every LeBonhuer staff that comes in contact with him. Pray that they will feel an urgency to pray for Jake. Most of all, pray that the tumors will be easy to be removed and that they will NEVER rear their ugly head again in Jake's brain or anywhere else in his little body. Pray for an earthly healing for Jake. We love this little toot like he is ours and know that when, not if, but when he is healed he will have an awesome testimony.

Also, while you are on your knees or having your prayer time, please pray for Jordan Amato as he is in town for a MRI. Pray for peace for Jordan and for his parents, Rick and Susan. I got the honor of meeting Susan and Jordan in December and love these sweet God fearing folks. Pray for a miracle to be revealed. God is still in the healing business and we BELIEVE that He can heal cancer.

Thanks for your prayers in advance for these two special families. I know that God will bless you for praying for them. Check their sites for updates.

BELIEVING for miracles,
Dawn, Todd, Angel Shae, and Mason


Shae,

Please watch over Jake and Jordan tomorrow. Gather all your St. Jude angels up there and join together to surround these two special guys.

We love and miss you,
Mommy and Daddy

Friday, March 24, 2006 2:28 PM CST

Thanks so much for you kind words that you left in the guestbook and thank you for all the prayers. God, again, blessed us with strength to face another year without our Shae.

Sunday will be 12 years that Todd and I have been married. I can't believe that he has put up with me that long. What a wonderful man he is. I am so thankful for him and his love for me and our children. He's a wonderful husband and I am blessed beyond measure. He's a wonderful dad and I could not have picked a better father for my boys. He takes such good care of us.

Todd,

Thanks so much for being so patient and loving with me over the last 12 years. You are the best. I love you more each day. I am so glad that God blessed me with you as my soul mate and husband. What a gift you are to me. I love you baby. 32694-1111


I also want to wish my sisters, Michelle and LaNelle, a very Happy Birthday today. I won't tell you their age, but they are 3 years older than me. (Yes, they are twins. They don't look anything alike.) I love you two very much. Thanks for loving your baby sister like you do.

Please remember to pray for our St. Jude friends listed below.

Jake Raborn - He is one month post transplant and is having some GVHD of the skin. He also had scans this week. Click on his link to read more about this little hero.

Jordan Amato - He and is mom will be in town on Monday for an MRI. Please pray for peace and for great results. Susan, I can't wait to see you guys again.

Brent Nason - He needs God to heal him of this beast we call cancer. His parents are searching for ways to help Brent beat his cancer. Click on his link to read more about him.

Cole Hardy - Cole's counts are very low so pray that he is protected from germs.

Habitat For Hope - All I can say is WOW, what a wonderful ministry. Click on the link to learn more about what you can do to help HFH. Mark and Mylissa are the founders of this ministry. Pray and ask God what you can do to further this ministry. Thanks in advance.


I must go and do some work. Thanks for stopping by. Don't forget to donate platelets and/or blood at St. Jude if you are in the Memphis area. The blood donor room number is 901.495.2024. They can answer any question that you may have.

Trusting Him,
Dawn


Shae,

I love you baby boy. We miss you and long for the day that Christ returns to take us to our eternal home. Oh the joy that we will have when we can hold you again and see that sweet face.

Love and kisses,
Daddy and Mommy

Monday, March 20, 2006 11:56 AM CST

Last night before I went to sleep, I kept thinking of what to say today in my journal. I’m not a poet nor am I very creative with words, so you get what is on my heart. You might need a tissue or two, I don’t know. I really don’t know what to say. There are so many mixed emotions in my heart right now and it’s hard to type what I feel.

We are angry that our child isn’t here with us today. We can’t hold him anymore nor hear his voice. We often wonder what he would look like now. What would be his favorite TV show? Who would be his best friends? Who would be his girlfriend?

We are hurt and sad because it just isn’t fair that our child had to die. At the time of his death, he was our only child. Our lives stopped at 11:13 a.m. on March 20, 2001. We held our child for the last time and sang, “You are my sunshine” to our precious angel as he flew to Jesus.

I have read many times the scripture James 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a HOPE and future.’”, but until this morning it never spoke to me like it did today. God had a plan for Shae and to this very day, Shae is still touching lives. Read the guestbook and see for yourself. God has a plan for Todd, Mason, and me. We have HOPE in our Lord Jesus Christ and that is why we got up this morning. HOPE is why we can go to bed each night knowing that God is in control and we sleep with peace. Shae is fine. He is walking on streets of gold and playing on Heaven’s playground. Free from this world and its trials.

We are glad that God chose Todd and me to be Shae’s parents. The pain is surreal at times, but to see what God has done eases the pain and helps us face each day with HOPE.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for praying for us. Thanks for signing Shae’s guestbook.

Holding on to HOPE,
Todd, Dawn, & Mason


Shae,

We can’t believe that you have been in Heaven for 5 years. What a milestone you reached that we never thought we would have to deal with. We had planned on going to your grave to release some balloons, but it’s raining. Of course, you always liked the rain so it’s only fitting that it’s raining today. We miss you so very much. Thanks for being such a light for so many. God’s plan for your life is still reaching others. Even people that never even met you have been touched. We love you sweetie and look forward to the day that we can hold you for eternity.

Love you a bushel and a peck,
Daddy and Mommy

Friday, March 17, 2006 9:46 PM CST

Susan, thanks for Shae's new name at the top of the page. I LOVE IT. You are just too kind and thoughtful. I love ya girl.

The song that is playing was Shae's favorite song. With the help of the Lord and a couple friends, I FINALLY figured out how to put music on here. Let me know if you can't hear it.


I plan to update again either this weekend or on Monday. Monday will be 5 years that Shae went home with Jesus. Please remember us this weekend and especially on Monday.

I will share a little story with you. Today I was on my way to Shae's grave and I saw a little yellow butterfly. It's the first butterfly I have seen so far. I needed it today. Thanks Shae for the butterfly.

Please pray for Brent Nason His scans weren't what we had hoped for, but Tonya and Link are pressing on. Please stop by his site to drop a word of encouragement.

Also pray for our St. Jude friends:

Cole Hardy
Jake
Jordan Amato
Maddie

Look for an update soon. Thanks for praying for us.

Trusting Him,
Dawn, Todd, & Mason


Shae,

Thanks for my butterfly. We sure miss you my sweet baby. Oh how we miss you.

Love,
Daddy and Mommy

Thursday, March 9, 2006 4:34 PM CST

***I have put a picture of our new puppy on the photo page.***



Can you believe that I am finally updating? Sorry that it’s been a while. Susan, I know that you and Kristin are happy. :-) Work right now is so busy, but that is good. We have opened 4 new branches and our grand openings are all on the same day…..next Tuesday starting at 9:00 a.m. ending approximately at 5:30 p.m. Crazy, but fun day. I will be one tired girl.

Let’s see, where do I start? You all know that Mason got a puppy. Jesse James Pierce is the little toot’s name. He is quite the cutie and very funny. We are working on getting him house broken. Wish us lots of luck on this. He is our first inside dog, so we are trying to be patient. I will try to post a picture of Jesse on here today or tomorrow.

Mason decided yesterday that he would use the potty like a big boy. He did this two times at his sitter and once when I got home with him last night. He still isn’t telling us he needs to go. He’s a funny little guy. He got over the stomach bug and is now dealing with allergies and cutting his two-year molars. (Yes he will be three next month and is just now cutting two-year molars.) This past weekend, his allergies were so bad. His ear, eyes, and nose were all running. He gets Zyrtec every night and we added another “symptom” medicine to help him out. He seems to be feeling better. I can’t believe my little baby is almost three. It’s bittersweet. Shae passed away shortly after he turned three. Todd and I decided, in honor of Shae, that we are asking for no gifts for Mason for his birthday. Instead we are asking for money for St. Jude. My mom had a hard time when we told her this, but this is how we want to honor Shae. Now, before you fuss at me for the same thing hear me out. Mason has a TON of toys. As a matter of fact, at Christmas he looked at his toy area and then looked at me and said, “Mom, this is Toys R Us.” See, even he knows that he has lots of toys. There are even some toys upstairs in his room and in the expandable that he hasn’t played with. Believe me, he will survive. We’ll still have a party with cupcakes and party favors, but no gifts.

My sweet husband has been doing wonderful on his diet and has lost over 20 pounds in the last 2 months. He is very faithful to going to the gym and eating right. I am so proud of him. He has his 20-year class reunion in May. I need to get busy on losing weight. I just don’t have the will power like he does. He is so good at this. Now that it is warmer outside, I need to start walking. I love you Todd and am so very proud of you. You’re the best baby.

Some of you know that Todd’s mom passed away of breast cancer about 19 years ago. Her mom also died from breast cancer. Both of Todd’s sisters, Gayle and Diana, are faithful about going to the doctor and having their proper tests. Diana over the last several years has had some places show up and they end up not being anything. She went this week for her annual mammogram and they found something again. What is bothering her and of course the rest of us is that the doctor said that this spot is different from what they have ever seen before on/in her. She goes back in 2 months for further testing. She is 42 and that is the age that their mom was diagnosed. Please pray for Diana and her husband William. They need peace and we all need for this to be nothing. Thanks in advance for praying. I promise to keep you updated.

My dad found out two weeks ago that he has Diabetes type 2. He has taken this news hard. Please pray for him as he learns to eat different things. He has already lost close to 15 pounds. He needs to quit smoking, so I am asking you to pray for him as he deals with this. His name is John. Also pray for my mom, Tresa. She has arthritis in her hips, legs, arms, neck, and sometimes in her hands. She has been doing so good about going to the gym doing water aerobics and working on machines to keep her muscles from becoming stiff. Thanks for all your prayers.

Jake is doing well since his transplant two weeks ago. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t have to go back for clinic until next week. That boy is a trooper. Now that we are all well, we have been able to spend more time with them and we have enjoyed every minute of it. We love this family and are thankful that God allowed our paths to cross. Check out his site to keep up with him and don’t forget to sign his guestbook.

Cole Hardy has had a very good week this week. His Make-A-Wish wish was granted by a school here in DeSoto County. He is going to Disney world. He was diagnosed 6 months ago and seems to be doing better with all that he has to endure. I can’t imagine what he must deal with on a daily basis. Keep praying for Cole and his mom and dad. They are amazing people and we love them very much.

Jordan is doing well. His fracture finally healed. I am sure that you heard a little New Orleans lady shout for joy when she heard this wonderful news. When I met them in December, he was in a cast. He’s had a tough time. Susan and Jordan, we look forward to seeing you guys again this month.

Brent Nason still going through treatment since he relapsed in December. Please keep him in your prayers. They are renting an apartment that is within walking distance to St. Jude while they are here. Brent has had RSV off and on for a while and they keep moving him from inpatient at the Jude, to the Ronald McDonald House, to the Grizzlies House……you get the picture. Through Habitat For Hope they have found this apartment that, from my understanding, will be completely furnished. Praise the Lord for His ways that He works in our lives.

Speaking of HFH, God has opened so many doors the last two weeks for this wonderful ministry. Mark Horrock, founder of HFH, is in Memphis this week meeting with people, businesses, and St. Jude families. Please pray for this wonderful ministry. Click on the link above and check it out. Mark is staying with us this week. We are so thankful and blessed that we have the extra room so Mark isn’t out the money for a hotel room. Please pray for Mark as he meets with people. Pray that God will go before him and open the right doors and give him wisdom. Also pray that they will find the perfect house up here and that the transition will be smooth. They will be moving here from Florida. Mark, Mylissa, and children, we love you guys and look forward to working with you with HFH. Praise God from whom ALL blessing flow.

As you know, the 20th of this month will be 5 years that our angel earned his deserved wings. I can’t believe he’s been gone so long. Some days it seems so much longer and other days it’s like it happened this morning. Please keep us in your prayers. We have come a long way, but the tough days are still there.

Please donate platelets and/or blood. Call the St. Jude donor room at 901-495-2024 to make an appointment today. Thanks.

Trusting Him,
Dawn


Shae,

We miss you buddy. With spring coming soon, we are excited about the butterflies that you will be sending. Keep watch over your brother.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Thursday, March 2, 2006 4:45 PM CST

I know that I need to update and I plan to real soon. I've been very busy with work and home. Mason got a new puppy last weekend. I'll try to put a picture of our new addition up soon.

Don't forget to check on our buddies listed below:

Jake Raborn
Cole Hardy
Jordan Amato
Brent Nason
Bella Horrock


They all need your prayers and encouraging words.

Also, have you clicked on the link about for Habitat for Hope lately? Check it out and remember to pray for this God ordained ministry.

Trusting Him,
Dawn, Todd, Angel Shae, Mason, and Jesse (our dog)

Monday, February 20, 2006 12:22 AM CST

Please stop by Jake's site and read his Aunt Mo's lastest update. Jake will be having radiation today. He will get his transplant tomorrow night. Please pray for the marrow that God will use this marrow for Jake's healing here on earth.

Please also pray for Don and Staci. They need peace that comes from our heavenly father.

Thanks in advance for praying for Jake. Be sure to sign his guestbook to let his parents know that you have joined the rest of us Believers in praying for Jake.


Trustin Him,
Dawn - mom to Angel Shae & Mason


Shae,
Please watch over Jake. Give him a hug. He's a very special guy and we want him healed here on earth.

Love you,
Daddy and Mommy

Sunday, February 19, 2006 8:21 AM CST

Happy Birthday to You. Happy Birthday to You. Happy Birthday Dear Todd. Happy Birthday to You.

I just wanted to wish my wonderful husband a happy birthday today. He is such a great guy and I am so glad that he is all mine.

He's been the Daddy of the Year this week. With Mason being sick this week with the stomach bug, Todd has done more laundry in 3 days than he's done in our 12 years of marriage. :-) He's such a loving dad to Mason.

Most of you know that Todd is a police officer. Well, he works 12 hours shifts so he is able to be at home with Mason alot. (He works 14 days a month.) Anyway, he was working this shift when Shae was here and I know that Todd cherishes every moment he spent with Shae. He is the best daddy and I am so grateful for his love for his sons.

Todd,

I love you sweetie. You're the best. Thanks for your love to me and our boys. I know that Shae is very proud of you. I don't tell you often enough how much you mean to me. With all that we have been through, you have remained my best friend. I love you more and more with each passing day.

I am sorry that you have to work today in such yucky weather. I pray that it's a smooth day. Mason and I look forward to spending the day with you tomorrow.

Love you,
Dawn, Angel Shae, and Mason

Wednesday, February 15, 2006 4:43 PM CST

Thanks for all the Birthday wishes in the guestbook. I had a good day. I hope you had a good Valentine’s Day. Poor little Mason has the yucky stomach bug. Please say a prayer for him.

Last Friday when it snowed, his words were “Can I take my socks off and walk in it?” His theory being that he didn’t want his socks to get wet. Smart child huh? Anyway, we didn’t let him out in it. It was too cold and he wasn’t feeling up to par.

Sunday the 19th is Todd’s birthday. My sweetie has to work on his special day. He’s such a good husband. I am so blessed beyond measure. God couldn’t have found a better match for me. Todd and I are best friends and I don’t know how I’d make it each day without him. He’s my shoulder that I lean on daily. Todd, I love you honey. Thanks so much for loving me like you do and taking care of me. I am VERY proud to call you mine.

If you have been keeping up with Jake , you know that things may be changing. They hope to find out more details today regarding his transplant. Something lit up on his leg yesterday on a scan. If it is a tumor, they will probably treat it with radiation. His AFP (tumor marker) has not dropped much, so they think that it could possibly be a tumor on his leg. Please pray for Jake. He is such a smart, sweet, and wonderful child. Also, please pray for his family.

Maddie is back on the 2nd floor of St. Jude. Please pray for her. His ANC is very high and they need it to come down.

If you know me well, you know that I LOVE music and every once in a while, I put the words to a song on here that I love. I am listening right now to Phillips, Craig, and Dean. They are wonderful. My favorite song is, “Friend of God”. Below are the words.

Who am I that You are mindful of me?
That you hear me
When I call
Is it true that You are thinking of me?
How You love me
It's amazing
(Repeat)

~Chorus~
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
He calls me friend

Who am I that You are mindful of me?
That you hear me
When I call, yeah
Is it true that You are thinking of me?
How You love me
It's amazing, so amazing, it's amazing

~Chorus~

God Almighty
Lord of Glory
You have called me friend

I am so glad that God calls me Friend. Of course, I don’t deserve this friendship at all, but He loves me regardless. He doesn’t always like what I may do, but He loves me. I know that I can go to Him with anything. He already knows my needs and desires. It’s comforting to know that He is always there for me through the good and bad. I hope that you too can call God your friend.

My prayer is that God has blessed you today and that you have found a peace in Him that is beyond being explained. It is possible to find a blessing in a valley. Often times it’s hard to look up and search for His light, but oh the peace we find when we trust in Him. We must often remember that His ways are not ours and He does know what is best for us.

As always, please call the St. Jude donor room to donate blood/platelets at 901-495-2024. They are always in need. I must share this story about my two sister-in-laws. When Shae was sick, they both gave platelets at St. Jude to sign up for the National Bone Marrow registry. Since then, they both have been sent a letter at least twice letting them know that they are possible matches for someone. Anyway, they both were called by St. Jude weeks back to tell them that they are a perfect HLA match for a patient that was in need of platelets. They both made their appointments to go and have been going weekly to donate to for this child. Do you see the importance of donating? It could be your child that needs platelets. Diana and Gayle, thank you so much for donating. You girls ROCK and I know that God will reward you two for this. I know that Shae is proud of his Aunt Di-Nee and Aunt KKKKKKKK.

Don't forget to check on Jordan, Brent, and Cole. They all need prayers. Stop by and offer a word of encouragement and prayer.

Enjoy your week and know that God is in control. Regardless of your situation, He has it under complete control.

Trusting Him,
Dawn


Shaester,

Hey baby boy. I saw Dr. Phillips yesterday and he says that Mason looks more and more like you each time he sees him. You would have been very proud of your little brother yesterday. He sat on a little stool and let Dr. Phillips examine him without one complaint. Then he gave Dr. Phillips a hug. It was too sweet. He’s a smart little guy and I know that he would love his big brother. Send him some healing kisses. We need him to get over this bug soon.

Love you baby,
Mommy and Daddy

Friday, February 10, 2006 8:55 AM CST

Another short entry today. If you haven't already done so, please call 1-800-230-KIDS to donate to the Ronald McDonald House of Memphis. Their goal is $500,000.00. Please help them reach their goal.


I hope to update more soon.


Trusting Him,
Dawn

Wednesday, February 8, 2006 1:51 PM CST

This will be very short as I am at home with strep throat. Can you believe that? I haven't had strep throat since I was in 7th grade. Todd is taking Mason in the morning to get him tested. He's been coughing today and not eating much. Please pray for my little guy.

This weekend is the Ronald McDonald House Radiothon. We never stayed at the RMH, but know of several families that call it their home away from home. If you would like to donate to this very worthy cause, please call 1-800-230-KIDS. Donate in honor of Jake Raborn or in memory of Stanton Haynes and/or Emma Grace Hampton. All three of these precious children mean so much to me. I was looking at the web site today of the radio station that is hosting the radiothon and found a very neat video clip. It's last 11 minutes and 45 seconds. To see it, go to http://www.rock103.com/pages/rmh/, then click on "Watch 2005 Radiothon Video." You will see Tina Haynes on there talking about Stanton. Then they show a video of Stanton with his family and his best girl, Emma Grace. It brought tears to my eyes and touched me so. Please donate to this worthy cause.

Love to all,
Dawn - mom to ^^Shae^^ & Mason

Saturday, February 4, 2006 8:18 AM CST

Good morning to you all. This update will be short, but I wanted to share some things with you.

Madelyn is off the vent and getting better. If you go to her site today, you will see the sweetest picture of her. This precious child is a miracle and I am so excited about what God is doing in her life. Please continue to pray for her and her family.

I must share a sweet story about Mason with you all. Last night, Todd and I were sitting at the table about to bless our food. Mason was standing on a bucket next to the counter coloring. He always wants to pray with us and hold our hands. This time, he stayed on his bucket. Todd blessed our food and then we heard Mason praying. We looked over and he was kneeling on his bucket with his little hands folded and was praying. It was the sweetest site. I would have taken a picture, but the camera wasn’t anywhere close. That image is forever in my mind though. We couldn’t understand all that he was saying, but we knew that he was very serious about his prayer. And I know that God knew what he was saying and will honor his little prayers. I am so thankful that Todd and I were raised in Christian homes. And our prayer is to continue that with Mason.

Shae knew how to pray too. We prayed with him each night as well. I have to say this so you all will understand another story that I want to share about Shae. When we were at St. Jude, they gave little vouchers to the kids for them to get a Snack Pack. Although Shae never really ate what was in that Snack Pack, he HAD to have one each visit. Now back to the story. Each night when praying with Shae, we’d ask God to bless his donor, his doctors and nurses at St. Jude and so forth. Well one night, Shae said, “And bless my Snack Pack.” It was so cute. Todd and I still will say that every so often.

Isn’t it amazing the faith that a little child has. If only we as adults could have such strong faith in our Lord. I am still learning each day that I need to trust Him completely. As humans, it is hard to let go sometimes and let God have His way.

I plan to update again soon. Todd and I have birthdays this month. Boy have we both aged since August 4, 2000. But we have also grown in the Lord.

Sign the guestbook please….even if it’s just to say Hello.

As always, if you live in the Memphis area and want to donate platelets or blood call the St. Jude donor room at 901-495-2024 and make an appointment. What a rewarding experience it is to give knowing that you helped a child.


Learning to give it ALL to Him,
Dawn


Shae,

I thought about you so much yesterday. I miss you more than ever. We look forward to spring so you can start sending us butterflies.

Love you bunches,
Mommy

Saturday, February 4, 2006 8:18 AM CST

Good morning to you all. This update will be short, but I wanted to share some things with you.

Madelyn is off the vent and getting better. If you go to her site today, you will see the sweetest picture of her. This precious child is a miracle and I am so excited about what God is doing in her life. Please continue to pray for her and her family.

I must share a sweet story about Mason with you all. Last night, Todd and I were sitting at the table about to bless our food. Mason was standing on a bucket next to the counter coloring. He always wants to pray with us and hold our hands. This time, he stayed on his bucket. Todd blessed our food and then we heard Mason praying. We looked over and he was kneeling on his bucket with his little hands folded and was praying. It was the sweetest site. I would have taken a picture, but the camera wasn’t anywhere close. That image is forever in my mind though. We couldn’t understand all that he was saying, but we knew that he was very serious about his prayer. And I know that God knew what he was saying and will honor his little prayers. I am so thankful that Todd and I were raised in Christian homes. And our prayer is to continue that with Mason.

Shae knew how to pray too. We prayed with him each night as well. I have to say this so you all will understand another story that I want to share about Shae. When we were at St. Jude, they gave little vouchers to the kids for them to get a Snack Pack. Although Shae never really ate what was in that Snack Pack, he HAD to have one each visit. Now back to the story. Each night when praying with Shae, we’d ask God to bless his donor, his doctors and nurses at St. Jude and so forth. Well one night, Shae said, “And bless my Snack Pack.” It was so cute. Todd and I still will say that every so often.

Isn’t it amazing the faith that a little child has. If only we as adults could have such strong faith in our Lord. I am still learning each day that I need to trust Him completely. As humans, it is hard to let go sometimes and let God have His way.

I plan to update again soon. Todd and I have birthdays this month. Boy have we both aged since August 4, 2000. But we have also grown in the Lord.

Sign the guestbook please….even if it’s just to say Hello.

As always, if you live in the Memphis area and want to donate platelets or blood call the St. Jude donor room at 901-495-2024 and make an appointment. What a rewarding experience it is to give knowing that you helped a child.


Learning to give it ALL to Him,
Dawn


Shae,

I thought about you so much yesterday. I miss you more than ever. We look forward to spring so you can start sending us butterflies.

Love you bunches,
Mommy

Friday, January 27, 2006 3:57 PM CST

Hello faithful readers. I hope that things are going well with everyone. Todd, Mason, and I are doing great. I think that I am finally out of my “low” now. Thanks to those of you who prayed for me.

Mason is non-stop. He says any and everything. He’s a smart little guy and is always surprising us with the things that he knows and understands. His favorite thing right now is that lovely purple dinosaur, Barney. I promised myself that I would not let my children watch Barney. I kept my promise with Shae, but Mason watches it at his sitter and is now hooked. So, he now has about 6 Barney videos. Of course, not one of them is 30 minutes long. They are all, at least, 50 minutes long. UUUGGGHHH. After a long weekend, it’s hard to get those songs out of my head. People look at me strange when I am at work and singing Barney songs. I will say that Mason has learned so much from watching Barney. I’m hoping that soon he will get hooked on Veggie Tales. I like them much better. Shae sure loved Veggie Tales. His all time favorite was Toy Story 2. He watched that movie at least 2-3 times a day. That was the last movie he watched. He loved the bloopers at the end. The last time he watched it was the last time I saw him smile. (He was on the vent, yet awake enough to watch TV.) Okay, before I shed some tears, I’ll get back to Mason. Do any of you have suggestions on potty training? He talks about it, but has no desire to sit on his potty. And don’t even think about sitting him on the big potty. He wants no part of that. He will be 3 on April 6th. We never got to potty train Shae, so this is very new to us. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Oh, I have to tell this cute story. When Shae was still here, his favorite song was “God is good” buy the Gaither Vocal Band. Any time that I had it playing in my car, he always had listen to it over and over again. Well, guess whose favorite song it is now? Mason’s…how neat is that. Shae must have whispered to his brother to have me play it all the time.

Todd and I got the honor to meet Mark, Mylissa, and Bella Horrock last week. What a wonderful and precious family they are. They share the same vision with us. They started an organization called Habitat for Hope. (Their link is above this journal entry. Be sure to click on it for more info.) Anyway, we are so excited about this ministry and can’t wait for God to do so much more. Please keep the Horrock’s in your prayers as they prepare to move up here from Florida. Oh, Bella, their daughter had scans last week, and all is clear. Praise the Lord. You can learn more about Bella by clicking on her name. Bella. She is just too precious.

Now to Mr. Jake. That boy is a hoot. Don and Staci have decided to go forward with the transplant. Jake is at home for 2 weeks and will be back on February 9th to start the process. Please pray for Jake. Also pray for his donor. When we were getting ready for Shae’s transplant, we were constantly praying for his donor. We prayed for the donor to have good health and for their family. Jake, I love you dude. Thanks for playing with Mason. He sure does love you.

Brent Nason is at home this weekend. His counts finally got high enough for him to go home. Please continue to pray for him. (He relapsed last month.) Click on his name to check on him. His mom, Tonya, is such an uplifting person and always seems to encourage me just when I need it.

Jordan had to see a bone specialist this week. He has a fracture that just won’t heal. Please pray for him. His mom, Susan, is wonderful and always encourages me too. I am so glad that God allowed me to meet Tonya and Susan.

Maddie is in ICU right now at St. Jude. She is on an antibody for her cancer. Please pray for her. Stop by her site and sign the guestbook.

Cole will starts reinduction 1 next week. Please pray for Cole. He had a rough time the last round, so pray that God will be with Cole this next round and the side effects won’t be so hard on him.

For Christmas, I bought myself a little devotional book called, Grace for the moment by Max Lucado. Let me just say that I LOVE IT. This morning really spoke volumes and I just have to share it with you.

You’re Something Special

“Nothing…in the whole world will ever be able to separate us from the Love of God.” Romans 8:39

We want to know how long God’s love will endure…. Not just on Easter Sunday when our shoes are shined and our hair is fixed…. Not when I’m peppy and positive and ready to tackle world hunger. Not then. I know how he feels about me then. Even I like me then.

I want to know how he feels about me when I snap at anything that moves, when my thoughts are gutter-level, when my tongue is sharp enough to slice a rock. How does he feel about me then?

Can anything separate us from the love Christ has for us?

God answered our question before we asked it. So we’d see his answer, he lit the sky with a star. So we’d hear it, he filled the night with a choir; and so we’d believe it, he did what no man had ever dreamed. He became flesh and dwelt among us.

He placed his hand on the shoulder of humanity and said, “You’re something special.”



Wow!! I remind myself often that if God cares enough to make sure that the birds are fed, then I know He will take care of me. His love is never ending…completely unconditional. What an awesome God we serve.

Thanks for listening me today. I didn’t intend for this to be this long. Be sure to sign the guestbook.


Resting in His love,
Dawn


Shae,
Hey you little cutie. As always, we miss you so very much. Continue to watch over us. Did you tell your little brother what your favorite song was? He sure loves it now.

Love you so much,
Daddy and Mommy

Tuesday, January 17, 2006 4:05 PM CST

In my last journal, I was very down and not doing real well. I am getting out of that now and moving on. Of course, I can still name each day that is significant to Shae being in the hospital. For example, yesterday Shae was sent to ICU for the first time and put on the vent. I know that I shouldn’t dwell on those days, but I do. It’s hard not to. I want to hang on to anything I can that will make me feel close to Shae. As each year passes it seems as though he is farther away from us. Thanks for your prayers as we get through the months ahead. God is good and I am thankful for His love and mercy.

Another St. Jude angel earned her wings last week. Princess Ashley Taylor fought a tough battle, but in the end she is the victorious one. She’s at home with Jesus. Running and dancing on the streets of gold. Please stop by and give her parents and brother your words of encouragement. www.caringbridge.org/la/princessashley. I never got the chance to meet this family, but they have touched my heart.

Mr. Jake is in Memphis right now getting blood work done and finding out the next step for transplant. Don and Staci have had to make a very hard decision and my heart goes out to them. I know that God will give them the strength, wisdom, and peace that they need to get through this journey with Jake. Please pray that God will be with Jake and that the transplant will be his cure here on earth. Jake, Don, Staci, we love you all so very much. You have touched are heart and we are so blessed to have the honor of knowing you guys. We love you and thank you for sharing Jake with us. As I have said before, Mason loves Jake so much and it makes my heart smile to see them play together. I know that if Shae were here, he would make sure that Mason was extra careful with Jake. www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen is Jake’s site. Stop by to say hello and leave a word of encouragement.

Cole Hardy is still having a rough time eating and gaining weight. He has lost a good bit of weight. The docs have mentioned a feeding tube. Please pray for Cole. He is very sad and like his parents, wants this to all go away. Pray for peace for this family as they face this time in their life. It’s a very trying time and it’s hard to see the light when you have been in the valley for so long. www.caringbridge.org/visit/wesleycolehardy is his website. Please stop by to let them know that you are praying for them.

Todd and I get the opportunity to meet Mark, Mylissa, and Bella Horrock this week. Bella is a St. Jude patient and is doing well. With God’s help, they have started a ministry called Habitat for Hope. www.habitatforhope.org is their website. Anyway, they live in Florida and are wanting expand this ministry. It really ties in with what Todd and I want to do. Bella will be here Monday for scans. Please pray for good news and for God to be with Mark as he meets with several groups.

I must go and try to clean up this house before Todd gets home from work. I stayed home with Mason today. He was running a fever last night and I didn’t want to take him to the sitter and chance another fever. He is doing better today…..not eating much, but better.

Thanks for stopping by. Please sign the guestbook and let me know that you were here.

Holding to Faith, Hope, and Love,

Dawn


Shae,

We miss you little guy. We are looking forward to Spring so we can start seeing butterflies again. We hope to see you our dreams.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Friday, January 6, 2006 11:06 PM CST

I guess no matter how long it’s been since Shae got sick, I will always remember specific dates of things that he went through. Five years ago today, Shae received his bone marrow transplant. I can remember it like it happened this morning. The doctor that slowly pushed the syringe, prayed with me before he started. My heart has been so heavy today and the tears just keep flowing. I guess it’s just this time of year and all that Shae went through. It just doesn’t seem right. He should be here with us. There isn’t an hour that goes by that I don’t think of my angel. I know that God needed him in Heaven and that’s fine, but it’s hard to get through some days without my Shaester. Forgive me for being so down. Emotional days come and go, but today has been a bit tough for me.

I e-mailed Shae’s donor tonight to thank her again for giving her marrow to Shae. We still haven’t had the chance to meet her, but we hope to soon. She is a wonderful and caring person and we are forever grateful for her compassion.

As I had mentioned before in an update or two back, I met two St. Jude families last week. Jordan and his mom, Susan, are from Louisiana and were in town for tests. (His tests brought good news.) Jordan has a CB site and that’s how I found them. Susan is such an encouragement for me and what a woman of God she is. I also met Tonya Nason and her son, Brent. Brent and his family are from Mathison, MS which is not too far from where I live. Anyway, Brent’s scans showed that he has relapsed. Brent’s parents are trusting and believing God for a miracle. Please pray for wisdom and guidance for Brent’s parents and his doctors.

I went to St. Jude last Thursday to meet Susan & Jordan and to have lunch with them. It was an extra bonus to meet Brent and Tonya. Talking with Susan and Tonya was wonderful. Thank you Lord for letting me meet these two precious ladies. It was so nice to sit around and talk about the love of God with them. I hated that I had to leave to go back to work. Susan and Tonya, thanks for the wonderful conversation. You will never know how much it meant to me.

I am going to list several children’s websites and I am asking you to please pray for these children. Go to their sites and let them know that you stopped by. Thanks.

www.caringbridge.org/ms/brentnason (He’s starting new treatment next week.)
www.caringbridge.org/visit/wesleycolehardy (He is having a hard time right now with eating and has lost too much weight.)
www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen (His parents are having to decide the next step in his treatment. They need wisdom and a sure sign from God on what to do.)
www.caringbridge.org/la/jordanamato (He will be back next month for some more tests.)
www.caringbridge.org/la/princessashley (She is on hospice and is at home with her family.)

Thanks for listening to me tonight. I feel a little better. As always, don’t forget to donate blood and/or platelets at St. Jude. The number is 901.495.2024.

Holding to Faith, Hope, and Love,
Dawn


Shae,

I love you angel bear. Your daddy and I had you on our mind ALL day today. We miss you sweetie more than you could ever know. Come see us in our dreams.

Love,
Mommy

Thursday, January 5, 2006 3:59 PM CST

Thanks so much for praying for Cole. Is home from the hospital. Please continue to pray for this brave soldier.
www.caringbridge.org/visit/wesleycolehardy

Jake and his mom Staci came in town the other night. Jake's tumor marker did not go down and they are deciding today what to do next. Please remember Jake in your prayers. Also pray for the doctors to make the right treatment decisions.

Jake and Staci came to our house last night. Mason and Jake had the best time playing together. They are so funny. Jake, sorry that Mason was ugly about his balloon. He'll share anything else, but not his balloon.

I promise to update more later. To all you Texas fans, "Hook em Horns". Todd Pierce is one happy guy. He is so excited about Texas winning.

Trusting Him,
Dawn

Shae,
I love you sweetie. Did you get your balloon? We miss you sweetie and look forward to the day that we are with you forever.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Monday, January 2, 2006 6:26 PM CST

Please pray for Cole Hardy. The last several weeks have been very hard on him. He has lost 6 1/2 pounds. His is now inpatient with a fever and low counts. Please pray for his parents as well. Bill and Dianna need your prayers too. They are at their wits end and having a hard time dealing with this. They are a very sweet family and love the Lord. They are in a valley right now and need to see some light. Please lift them up in your prayers today and everyday. Cole's site is www.caringbridge.org/visit/wesleycolehardy.

Please go to Cole's sight and sign his guestbook to let them know that you are praying for them.


Thanks,
Dawn

Friday, December 30, 2005 10:16 AM CST

Today, our precious angel would have been 8. Wow, I can’t believe he would have been 8. I really don’t know what else to say. We miss him so much. We are ever so grateful that God allowed us to be Shae’s parents. What an honor. He was such a special little guy. Shy, but very loving and precious. He was so laid back and easy going. Not much bothered him. We miss his voice, his laughter, his smile, his big blue eyes, and his blonde hair.

Happy Birthday Shaester. Your daddy, Mason, and I will be going to your grave to send you some balloons. I hope Mason will be nice and let his balloon go. He knows it’s your birthday today. Of course, he’s probably wondering when the party is and when he gets cake. Please watch over him….he’s so busy. Have a great birthday in Heaven. We love you sweetie and look forward to when we get to hold for eternity.


I know that this is short, but it’s a sad day for us. We will survive though. We have God on our side and I know that He is taking care of us.

Please pray for the children listed below. Go to their sites and sign their guestbook to let them know that you stopped by. Don’t forget to sign Shae’s too.

www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen
www.caringbridge.org/la/jordan
www.caringbridge.org/ms/brentnason
www.caringbridge.org/visit/wesleycolehardy

Pray for a cure for all childhood cancers. Don’t forget to donate platelets and/or blood at the St. Jude donor room. Call 901.495.2024 for info and to make an appointment.


Holding on to Faith, Hope, and Love,
Dawn, Todd, ^^Shae^^, & Mason

I will update tomorrow or Sunday and tell you about two new families that I met this week at St. Jude.

Monday, December 19, 2005 3:33 PM CST

“I love you”, is what my precious Mason said to me early this morning with his sweet little hand on my face. Needless to say, he made my day. As I laid next to Mason this morning after he told me that he loved me, I thought of how he knows when to use that statement but he doesn’t know the depth of it. He will in time though. Then I began to think about how much God loves us. Wow, I don’t even know the depth of His love. I can try to understand, but until I get to Heaven I won’t fully understand.

The first song that came to my mind is “The Love of God”. That song speaks volumes about God’s love. Below are the words:

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell
It goes beyond the highest star
And reaches to the lowest hell
The guilty pair, bowed down with care
God gave His son to win
His erring child He reconciled
And pardoned from his sin

Could we with ink the ocean fill
And were the skies of parchment made
Were every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whole
Though stretched from sky to sky

Oh love of God, how rich and pure
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints’ and angels’ song


Wow, what a Heavenly Father we have. There is no way to measure or fully describe His love. As we celebrate our Savior’s birth this week, think of how much God loved us to send His only son to earth for us. What a gift. "Thank God for his Son—a gift too wonderful for words!" 2 Corinthians 9:15 NLT

Thank you God for your never changing love and compassion that you have for me. I am so unworthy of your goodness, yet I am your child and you love me still. How I long for the day to bow at your feet and worship you for eternity. Amen.


Merry CHRISTmas,

Dawn, Todd, ^^Shae^^, & Mason




Shae,

Merry Christmas sweetie. This year hasn’t been too rough on us, but I have had my moments. I have often wondered what you would want for Christmas this year. Your birthday is coming up in a few days. December is a tough month, but we survive it. We love you baby.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Tuesday, December 6, 2005 4:07 PM CST

Well, the Run For St. Jude race was a huge hit. Todd, Mason, and I got up early and went to support the runners. We held up signs encouraging the runners as they ran past us. What troopers they are. Thanks to all the runners that ran, walked, or pushed their wheelchair for such a wonderful cause. It was cold and I don’t know how they did it. We plan on having a Shae Team next year. Anyone interested in running or walking, please let us know. We’d love to have as many people as possible join us in raising money for St. Jude. Todd plans on starting his training after the first of the year.

We went to The Butcher Shop on Friday night with about 30 other St. Jude families and staff. It was great fellowship and wonderful food. What a bond that we share. Tina, you look great. I am so glad that you and Hayden came up. I know that it was hard for you with it being the first time back to Memphis, but you did it and it’s all behind you now. Another milestone met. Trish, it was great to see you again. It was nice to meet your mom too. What a sweetie she is. Jin Jin, it was nice to finally put a face with a name. Your girls are too fun and sweet and I really enjoy being around them. Of course, Jake, Hunter, & Hayden have my heart. (I like you too Don.) I hope that Mo shared her brownies with you Jin Jin.

Speaking of Jake, I am asking you all to pray for this precious little guy. He started his 18th round of chemo last night. Go to www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen to keep updated on him. Jake really needs your prayers. He’s a fighter and we BELIEVE that he will win this fight. Also, please pray for his mom and dad. I know that the fear in their hearts gets overwhelming at times. They can always use words of encouragement and prayers. If you have never seen precious Jake, you will fall in love with him the moment you see him. Mason loves him so much and loves to play with him. Again please pray for Jake.

Can you believe that Christmas is less than 3 weeks away? Boy do I need to get busy shopping. I have bought and wrapped some gifts. Mason is VERY excited about Santa Claus and Christmas. He has already had a “visit” with Santa. We saw him at an outlet mall a couple of weeks ago. Mason gave him a high five, but that was the extent of that conversation. Mason was too busy playing with the toys that Santa had set out for kids to play with. (Pretty cool Santa huh?) For Mason to only be 2 ½, he sure knows what he wants. He wants a guitar, a bulldozer, an excavator, a drum, and any other toy that he sees on a commercial or in a toy catalog. He is so funny. Thank you Lord for such a precious little guy.

I must end this update and get some work done. Thanks for listening. PLEASE call the St. Jude donor room at 901.495.2024 if you can donate platelets. They are in need of platelet donors and you can help a child.

Trusting Him,

Dawn, Todd, ^^Shae^^, & Mason


Shaester,

Hey sweetie. We miss you so much. With Christmas and your birthday coming up this month, it’s been a bit hard some days to get through. We look forward to the day that we are reunited with you in Heaven. What a precious day that will be.

We love you,
Mommy and Daddy

Friday, December 2, 2005 4:54 PM CST

Just a quick little update.

Tomorrow morning we will be getting up early in the morning to go and support the runners/walkers for the 5K Run for St. Jude. Being that I am very out of shape, I will be cheering big for the participants.

This race is to raise money for research to find cures for childhood cancer.


Have a wonderful weekend. Hug your children tight.


Trusting Him,
Dawn, Todd, ^^Shae^^ & Mason

Wednesday, November 23, 2005 2:25 PM CST

I have been thinking about an update all week and trying to decide what to write. Of course, I want to share what all I am thankful for but I don’t know where to start. This site is about Shae so I will share the things that we are thankful for that pertain to Shae. God has blessed us beyond measure and we are so unworthy of His unfailing love.

Todd and I are thankful for God allowing us to be the parents of Shae. In his three short years, he taught us so much. What a fighter he was. He is my hero and always will be. He didn’t go through months and months of chemo, but he still endured so much. I can’t imagine what went through his mind during his time of being sick. He never complained about anything and always had a smile on his precious little face. Oh how I miss his sweet smile.

We are thankful for St. Jude and the care they gave not only Shaester, but us as well. Their mission was to find a cure for my child and to keep him pain free, but they made sure that we were taken care of too.

We are thankful for our time that we got to spend with Shae while he was inpatient for 81 days. Being 15 minutes from St. Jude we were able to take turns going home at night to sleep. Where Todd works, the employees were able to donate any sick time to Todd so he could be off work with Shae. My job at the time was wonderful and I was able to take time off too.

The support from our family, friends, and church helped us survive each day. I would try to list everyone that helped us, but I know that I would leave someone out. So if you are reading this and you helped us in anyway possible, a big THANK YOU to you. I pray that God will bless you ten fold.

We are also thankful for all the families we have met at St. Jude. God has blessed Todd and I with the privilege of having a ministry through our church to minister to families at St. Jude. Pray for us as God directs us with this ministry.

We hope that each and every one of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. In the midst of the hustle and bustle take time to let your family and friends know how much you love them and don’t take them for granted. Life is too short…don’t miss out on an opportunity to share your love.

To those of you that have recently lost a child and are facing Thanksgiving for the first time without your child, you will survive this holiday. I won’t promise that it gets easier; you just learn how to deal with it. It’s so hard to get through the “firsts” without your child, but you can do it. Here Todd and I are 4 ½ years out and we are doing pretty well. I’ve already had a couple of meltdowns, but I will survive this year just like the other ones. Our Lord and Savior is our source of strength and without Him we wouldn’t be this far.

We ask that you pray for us as we face the days ahead. Shae would have been 8 on Dec. 30th. We are excited about Christmas, but it’s hard to shop and not think of what Shae would like to have.

Thanks for listening to me today. I have thought about changing the song that is playing but I will leave it for another few weeks. It’s appropriate for Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Dawn, Todd, ^^Shae^^, & Mason

Sunday, November 13, 2005 10:09 PM CST

Sorry that it’s been a while since I last updated. As always, we have been busy. Mason had a fever virus a couple weeks ago, but got over it and is back to his crazy and busy little self.

You may remember me talking about Jake Raborn in my last couple of updates. Well, we had his mom and dad and himself to our house for dinner last Wednesday. I hope they had as much fun as we did visiting with them. Jake and Mason had the best time playing with each other. It didn’t take Mason but maybe a couple minutes to go to sleep that night. He loves to play with other children. (Sort of bitter sweet for us.) Anyway, it was a very nice visit. We have wonderful friends that I wouldn’t trade for the world, but there’s nothing like talking to a family that has “been there”. Please pray for Jake as he continues to fight his beast. His latest scans didn’t show anything new. We are praying for his chemo to continue to attack the cancer and keep it away. Please stop by and visit Jake. Go to www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen. He is a cute little kid. His family is so fun to be around. Jake starts another round of chemo tomorrow.

Good things have been happening around here. Friday was a bank holiday for me. I work for BankPlus and all the employees had to travel to Clinton, MS for our State of the Bank address. It consisted of our President/CEO telling us how well things are going for the bank and how much he appreciates his employees. It was a fun filled day. Since the bank did well this year, they gave away 5 2006 Nissans and 125 $1,000.00 checks. Now there are a little over 600 employees that work for BankPlus, so I knew that someone from our area up here was coming home with a new Nissan and/or some cash. Well, guess who came home with a check for $1,000.00? Yes, it was me. I was so excited when he, our president, called my name. We ended up having two from our area coming home with a check. I love working for BankPlus and not just because I won the money. They are good to their employees and customers.

Todd and I have always wanted to give back to St. Jude in anyway possible. The best way we know how to give back is to minister to other families. Our church approved us the have this ministry through the church. This morning, we were asked to speak to a Sunday School class about our ministry. It was very exciting to share our vision and have people interested in helping. God has blessed us beyond measure and we want to share these blessings. Please pray for us as we go forward with our ministry. We are asking for God’s wisdom and discernment. I know that God has His hand on us and will guide us each step of the way.

With the holidays approaching, the need for blood and platelets at St. Jude grows. PLEASE donate blood and/or platelets. Call the blood donor center at 901.495.2024 to make an appointment. They will answer any questions that you may have. Thank you in advance for donating. Also, if you are looking for a gift for that person who has everything, donate money to St. Jude in honor of that person. You’ll be giving two gifts. You can also go to stjude.org and shop the Hope catalog. They have lots of wonderful things that you can buy for gifts. Again, you will be giving twice.


Last week, I tried to add something to this site and it took off Shae’s photo up top. I was so upset that I had tears in my eyes. I didn’t have the photo saved anywhere on a disc or computer, so I was very upset. Well tonight I sat down to update and change the back ground. When I changed the back ground and clicked on update, Shae’s photo was there again. I have no idea how it happened, but I am so glad that it did. Thank you Lord for getting it back for me. :-)

I hope you all have a good week. Can you believe that Thanksgiving is next week? Time sure has flown by this year.


Trusting Him,

Dawn



Shaester,

I saw a little cotton top boy yesterday. He had to be at least 8. As I watched this child play, I wondered if that’s what you would look like. It’s hard to watch other children sometimes without thinking of you and wishing you were here. I know that you are healed and happy in Heaven, but we still miss you so much. With Christmas approaching, I am wondering what you would want for Christmas. Your brother has already showed us everything in the Toys R Us book that he wants. He’s even picked out stuff for his girlfriend. Keep watching over him and visiting him in his dreams. We love you so much and miss you too. Come visit daddy and mommy in our dreams too. Hearing your voice again would be so wonderful.

Love you baby,

Mommy and Daddy

Tuesday, November 1, 2005 2:25 PM CST

Gray Noel passed away Friday of last week. Todd and I attended his funeral today. Please keep Gray's family in your prayers. His parents are Steve and Laurie. His two little brothers are Drew and Blake.

I plan to update more later. Again, please pray for this family.


Trusting Him,
Dawn

P.S. There is a new photo of Mason on the photo page.



Shae,

I know that you have already shown Gray around heaven. Hug him extra tight for his mom and dad. We love and miss you so much angel.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 1:09 PM CDT

Saturday - Oct. 15th


Tonight, I am asking you to earnestly pray for a 15 year boy named Grey Noel. He is a St. Jude patient. I can't remember what type of cancer he has, but I do know that the cancer returned months back and there is nothing medically that can be done for him. The hospice nurse said last week that it would be just a few more days for Grey. Grey's parents are Steve and Laurie Noel. They have two other sons. Please pray for this family. My sister went to school with Laurie and has kept me updated on Grey. My heart is so heavy and broken for the Noel's. They don't have a site, but you can still pray for them. If you would like to leave a message for them on Shae's guestbook, I will be sure to print it out for them. Thanks for your prayers.





****Please be in prayer for a family that I came across this week. www.caringbridge.org/tx/kyle. Kyle has replasped and his dad was diagnosed this week with cancer. This family needs your prayers. Thanks****


I finally got the opportunity to meet Jake Raborn this week. Monday was a bank holiday, so I took advantage of it and went to St. Jude. I took Mason and my dear friend Michele with me. This was Michele’s first time back since the day of Shae’s passing. I think it overwhelmed her at first, but she seemed to be okay later on. Mason had the best time playing. That boy adjusts so well. As long as there are toys, he’s good to go.

Now, back to Jake. I have been following Jake for a while now, but have never gotten to meet him. Let me just say, he is a DOLL. Too cute. He is from Louisiana and has a form of liver cancer. He has had 4 surgeries and numerous rounds of chemo. His latest surgery was last month. Since that surgery, they found two more spots on his lung. So now he is back at St. Jude for more chemo. Jake’s mom, Staci, his Aunt Mo, and friend Polly were with him Monday. I have always wanted to meet Staci and Aunt Mo as well. And I got an extra treat by meeting Polly. They are all wonderful and kind people. They are taking each day and living it to the fullest. While at St. Jude, I got to see two of our favorite ICU nurses, Amber and Amanda. They are both line nurses now and seem to enjoy the change. I can’t say that I blame them. It has to be hard to work in ICU. What special people St. Jude employees are. The passion in their hearts amazes me and is what helped keep us going during Shae’s illness. Amber and Amanda, it was WONDERFUL to see you both. I am also glad that you got to see Mason. Isn’t he a hoot?

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you all this. When we first got there, Jake and his family were at some tables coloring. (They were having a coloring contest.) Anyway, Mason joined right in. A St. Jude lady asked me if I was Mason’s mom and I immediately said, “Yes, BUT HE ISN’T A PATIENT!!!!” Poor girl, I hope I didn’t scare her. It was just a reaction. I guess a little bit of fear came out of me and attacked her. From that, I guess you all know what is in the back of my mind. Can you blame me though? What mother wouldn’t be this way?

After Jake was through with clinic, we all went to eat at El Chico. YUMMY!! It was a wonderful lunch and precious fellowship. Jake, Staci, Mo, and Polly, thanks for sharing your day with us. Michele, Mason, and I had a wonderful time. Michele thanks for going with me and being such a big support. You are a wonderful friend. I hope it was good for you to go back to St. Jude. If you want to read about Jake and sign his guest book go to www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen. His family would love your prayers and encouraging words.

Please continue to keep my family in your prayers. I appreciate all that have prayed and all that left a message in the guest book. It means so much to me.

I can’t believe that it’s getting so close to Halloween. Mason will be “Piderman”. He likes Spiderman right now, so I bought his outfit in September. I will be sure to put pictures of him on here for you all. Poor second child, he doesn’t get his picture made much.

Thanks for listening today. As always, please donate blood and/or platelets. St. Jude’s number is 901.495.2024. You are probably wondering why the spider background. I guess because it's different and Mason loves Spiderman.


Trusting Him,
Dawn – mom to ^^Shae^^ & Mason



My precious Shae,

I miss you baby. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you. I put the high chair up Monday. Your dad and Mason don’t seem to be real thrilled about it. Mason does have a booster seat that he sits in, but I guess he just loves his high chair. Your daddy says that I am pushing Mason to grow up. I don’t think that I am, but I was just getting tired of the high chair being in the kitchen. Oh well, we will all survive this little crisis. I went through some more of your clothes this weekend. It was nice to think back and remember you wearing some of those clothes. Unfortunately, most of them you never got to wear and sadly enough, I will soon start having to buy Mason clothes.
Thanks for all the wonderful memories. I sure would love to hear your voice again. I miss you twisting your hair when you get tired. I love you Sunshine.

Missing you,
Mommy

Wednesday, October 5, 2005

I will update more later, but I have to share this with you all.

___________________________________
BOBBY PINS AND RUBBER BANDS - - -
By Max Lucado

Your toughest challenge is nothing more than bobby pins and rubber
bands to God. Bobby pins and rubber bands?

My older sister used to give them to me when I was a child. I would
ride my tricycle up and down the sidewalk, pretending that the bobby
pins were keys and my trike was a truck. But one day I lost the
“keys.” Crisis! What was I going to do? My search yielded nothing but
tears and fear. But when I confessed my mistake to my sister, she
just smiled. Being a decade older, she had a better perspective.

God has a better perspective as well. With all due respect, our
severest struggles are, in his view, nothing worse than lost bobby
pins and rubber bands. He is not confounded, confused, or discouraged.

Receive his hope, won't you? Receive it because you need it. Receive
it so you can share it.

Encourage those who are struggling. Don't know what to say? Then open
your Bible.

To the grief stricken: “God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never
will I forsake you'” (Heb. 13:5 NIV).

To the guilt ridden: “There is now no condemnation for those who are
in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1 NIV).

To the jobless: “In all things God works for the good of those who
love him” (Rom. 8:28 NIV).

To those who feel beyond God's grace: “Whoever believes in him shall
not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16 NIV).

What a wonderful God we have-he is the Father of our Lord Jesus
Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully
comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does
he do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy
and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort
God has given us. (2 Cor. 1:3-4 TLB)



Well, Monday night at Chili’s seemed to be a big success. I ate there for lunch and dinner. Luckily for us, we got there at 5:30 so we missed the crowd and the wait. The total won’t be in probably until next week how much was raised. Tomorrow is the last day to go to Chili’s and color a pepper while you eat. They are one dollar. To those of you who ate at Chili’s, colored a pepper, and/or went to www.createapepper.com to color a pepper…a BIG THANKS to you. You have all heard me say how wonderful St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and whatever I can do to support them, I will.

While we were at Chili’s, we saw some St. Jude families. One being Hanna Gibson’s mom and family, they were having dinner with Ben Bowen’s dad, Tom. It was a wonderful surprise to see Tom. I am assuming since it is announced on Ben’s site that I can tell this as well. Ben’s family is moving to the Memphis area. Tom took a job with ALSAC. We are so excited to have them here. What a wonderful asset Tom will be to ALSAC. Jennifer, Ben’s mom, is pregnant, so Todd and I will be helping as much as possible with them moving. On my way home, I broke down in tears. I was thinking about Shae, Ben, Hanna, and so many others that have earned their wings. It’s just not right. I just don’t understand.

I have a very special prayer request. As you may remember, back in February my 13-year-old nephew, John, was in a car wreck. He had to have a blood clot removed from his brain. Since this accident, my nephew has faced some problems with short-term memory, losing his sense of smell, etc. His mom is also dealing with the insurance company and getting them to pay. I am requesting that you all pray for his COMPLETE healing. I also ask that you pray for the insurance situation. It’s too much to go into detail, but pray for God to have His way and that all will be fine. My sister, LaNelle, is also in the middle of getting a divorce. She needs your prayers as she deals with all of this. I know that God is faithful and will take care of her, but I also know that you can never have too many prayer warriors.

As you are praying for my nephew and sister, please pray for my family. Again, not many details but pray for my parents and their health. I stay so busy sometimes and tend to take my family for granted. I know…. with the passing of Shae, you would think that I would have learned that lesson well. Pray for me too.

Sorry that this journal is not uplifting or exciting, but my family has been on my heart and mind and I know that there are prayer warriors out there that read this site and can reach the throne of God for me.

I plan to update again soon. I’ll try to be more upbeat next time. As always, please donate blood and/or platelets at St. Jude. The number is 901.495.2024. If you live out of town and come through Memphis, stop by the hospital and ask for a tour. You, too, will see what a wonderful place it is.


Leaning on God,
Dawn


Shae,

We miss you sweetie. We think of you each moment. I look at other children your age and wonder what you would look like. What sports you would be in. How tall you would be. Man, we miss you. The pain is so unreal sometimes. I know that you are happy and free from this sick world, but I would love to just hold you one more time.

Give our loved ones a hug from us. We look forward to seeing you at Heaven’s gates.

Love you Sunshine,
Mommy and Daddy

Thursday, September 22, 2005 5:59 PM CDT

This will be short....I plan to update with more later. I just wanted to remind everyone to eat at Chili's on Monday, September 26th. Chili's will be giving ALL proceeds to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital on the 26th. I plan on eating there twice that day. I hope you eat there at least once.

Please join me in supporting such a wonderful hospital. They did everything they knew to do to help Shae. They NEVER gave up on him. Therefore, I will NEVER give up on St. Jude. We are forever grateful for such a wonderful place.

If you don't have a Chili's near you, but want to help. Go to www.createapepper.com. On this site you can donate money and also create a pepper. It's a neat site. I have created two in honor of my two boys. Once you create one, it gives you a number so others can view it. It's really fun.

Thanks in advance for your help and concern.

See you at Chili's,
Dawn, Todd, & Mason

Friday, September 2, 2005 11:32 PM CDT

I have tried for the last couple of days to update, but when I sat down to start typing, my mind just went blank. I couldn’t find the words to start this journal. So much, as you all know, has been going on and I am filled with many mixed emotions.

Katrina really came through with an attitude and showed no mercy on several cities. With all that has come about since Katrina came through, I can’t help but think about how this is all a sign of the times. Christ is coming back soon to take His children home with Him. My prayers are with all the families that have lost loved ones, homes, everything. What a tragedy this has been. Todd was told today that there is a chance that he might be going to New Orleans to help with law enforcement. Our city has already sent our SWAT team down there. If Todd goes, please keep him in your prayers. When he told me today, I didn’t even hesitate or get scared. (Thanks Lord!)

Since my last journal, I have been busy. I survived the first week of August with the memories of Shae being diagnosed. It’s so odd how it’s been 5 years since diagnosis, yet I can remember so much in detail. It is with God’s grace and mercy that I have made it thus far. As I have said many times before, He is my source of strength and I don’t know where I’d be today without him.

I must share a wonderful story with you all. Since I started this site for Shae, I have found MANY other children that I have followed. Just a couple of months ago, I found a little boy’s site that has just caught my eye and my heart. His name is Jacob and is so beautiful. He is a triplet and also has an older brother. I can’t remember right now what type of cancer he has, but his family was told last week, that he only had a few days to live. Naturally, his family was devastated. Since then, he has made this remarkable turn around and is doing better. It is very evident that God is working a miracle in this boy. Please go to his site and read about Jacob and his beautiful family. His site is www.caringbridge.org/fl/jacob. Sign his guestbook and pray for his continued healing. Mason loves to look at Jacob’s pictures daily. His favorite picture of Jacob is the one where Jacob is making a silly face with his lips.

Another child that needs your prayers is Jake Owen Raborn. His site is www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen. He, too, is beautiful. He will be having surgery soon to remove a tumor. Please pray that the doctors are able to remove the entire tumor and that the nasty beast we call cancer will go away and never show its ugly face in Jake’s body again. (Pray that for Jacob as well.)

Mason woke up yesterday morning complaining with his right ear. Todd took him to the doctor and the little guy has an ear infection. He had tubes put in over a year ago and has done wonderful since then. The tube in the right ear had come out of place, so they pulled it out yesterday. Please pray that Mason will not have any more problems with his ears. We have enjoyed him having a healthy summer. You know, sometimes I feel guilty asking you all to pray for a small thing such as an ear infection when there are children facing cancer daily. Then I remember that the same God that fed the 5000 cares just as much for my Mason and his little ears.

Thanks to Mo for letting me know about Shae sending her butterflies. I see so many daily and it always makes me smile. Thanks Shae for letting others know that you are still around.

Please sign the guestbook. It’s nice to know who has come by to check on us. Even if you just say “Hi”. Thanks. Don't forget that September is National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. How you can help? Eat at Chili's as often as you can. Especially eat there on September 26th as Chili's will be donating 100 percent of it's profits to St. Jude. Also, color a pepper while you are there. We would be honored if you colored one in memory/honor of Shae. They are only one dollar each. Thanks in advance for making a difference.


Trusting Him,
Dawn – mom to ^^Shae^^ & Mason

Shae,

I love you sweetie. We all love the butterflies. When we ask Mason where you are, he’ll say, “Up in Heaven”. He also prays with me every night that you will come visit him in his dreams. I know that you are, by some of the things he says and does. Please visit us in our dreams. I haven’t had a dream with you in it in a while and I miss it. I know that you are okay, but it would be nice to see you in my dreams.

Always thinking of you,
Mommy and Daddy

Monday, August 1, 2005 1:36 PM CDT

Five years ago today, we walked into St. Jude for the first time and our lives were changed forever. I can remember that day like it was yesterday. We had spent the night before in ICU at LeBonhuer so Shae could receive two units of blood to get his level back to a “safe” level. Two units of blood…that sure is a lot for a toddler. Anyway, I can remember signing papers at St. Jude thinking, “I don’t know why I am signing these papers. My baby is fine. We won’t need to come here anymore.” The feeling of the unknown and wondering “why my baby” seemed to overwhelm us. You can always tell the new families by the look on their faces. We had that look that day. St. Jude is a wonderful place if you “have” to be there.

This week, 5 years, ago was so hard on us. We had no idea what was in store for Shae. Would Shae survive this? Would we survive if Shae didn’t? Why us? What in the world had we done to deserve this? Shae was 2 ½ and we knew that he had done NOTHING to deserve this. There was one night Todd and I just sat on the bed, held each other, and cried. We talked about this whole ordeal and what would we do without our baby. Our world had shattered and we didn’t know how to pick up the pieces.

All this started on a Monday. We spent Tuesday at St. Jude having tests run and meeting all sorts of people. Wednesday we stayed at home trying to figure out where to go from here. Thursday, for some weird reason, we both went to work. If I knew then what I know now, we would not have gone to work that day. Friday found us back at St. Jude finding out exactly what was wrong with our baby. The diagnosis was hard to take and the prognosis was even harder. Our only “possible” cure was a bone marrow transplant. Possible? What do you mean possible? Cure my child and promise me that he will NEVER get sick again. That didn’t happen.

Needless to say, that week was so very hard on us. As time went on, we learned to deal with our crisis. God was there each step of the way holding our hands and carrying us through each moment. You all know the rest of the story and how it ended. Actually, it hasn’t ended. Shae may not be here on earth, but his story lives on. His memories still live on. I will live the rest of my life making sure that everyone that I know, knows about Shae. He is a special child and I am thankful that God chose me to be his mommy. Even if it was for a short time, I got the pleasure of being Shae’s mommy. I wouldn’t trade those 3 years, 2 months, and 20 days for all the money in the world. I know that Todd wouldn’t either.

Today I sit here and reflect back on those days and I know that God has brought us through everything. Without Him on our side, we wouldn’t have made it. I am so thankful for St. Jude and their passion to find a cure for catastrophic diseases. We are blessed to live so close to St. Jude. We will be forever grateful to such a wonderful place.

I am also thankful for God’s grace and mercy. God is the source of my strength and the reason I am here today. I could never blame Him for Shae’s death. It would be easy to be angry with God, but I choose to give Him honor and glory. He is my rock and my fortress. I look forward to the day that I can bow before His throne and I can thank Him in person for His love. Even so, come Lord Jesus.

As always, don’t forget to donate platelets or blood. The St. Jude donor center would love to be bombarded with phone calls wanting people to donate. Their number is 901-495-2024.

Enjoy the sunshine and know that regardless of what you are going through right now, God is with you. He is not caught off guard by your trials. He has a plan and a purpose and will gladly give you the strength that you need. Just ask for His help. He’s as close as your next breath.


Trusting Him,

Dawn – mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason



Shae,

Sweetie, we saw so many butterflies this weekend. Thanks for sending them. Keep watching over your little fearless brother. He is talking so much now. He says just about everything. We love you sweetie and miss you each and every day.

Love,
Daddy and Mommy

Thursday, July 21, 2005 4:26 PM CDT

Well, once again I let time get away from me and I haven’t updated in a while. I’ve been busy with my job and Mr. Mason.

In my last update, I told you all about a trip to St. Louis that I went on with some friends. It was a good time, but I sure missed my boys. I was glad to get home.

I have to share a funny story with you all. As most of you know, Mason and Shae have never met here on earth. When Shae was here on earth, I would ALWAYS buy him some sort of toy from every store that I went into. One day I was in Walgreen’s and bought a little Harley Davison Motorcycle. Shae loved it and played with it often. Well, Mason broke it about 2 weeks ago and we decided to put it in a zip lock bag to put in our “Memories of Shae” tote. Mason saw it last night on the kitchen counter and wanted to play with it. I told him that it was broken, but he could play with it. He quickly let us know that Shae broke it. Todd and I laughed….it was so funny. We told him that Shae didn’t break it. Anyway, it was hilarious to us.

Mason it getting so big and says so much. I don’t know who is teaching him, but he knows some of his shapes. I am so proud of him. He starts going to a new sitter on Aug. 15th. Our current sitter, which happens to be Todd’s cousin, is going back to college to finish her education degree. We are proud of her, but hate to lose her. Mason will be completely shocked when he has to go to someone else’s house. We love the new lady that he is going to. She is my old pastor’s wife and we feel so at ease about her keeping him. Say a prayer as we deal with this transition.

I have officially started selling Mary Kay. I signed up last week. This is something that I prayed about and believe that this is what God wants me to do right now. If you are local and don’t have a Mary Kay consultant, I’d love to be yours. Just e-mail me and let me know.

As you have read in several of my last journals, there have been too many precious children that are dieing. If you have never experienced it, I hope you never have to. It’s a feeling and hurt that just can’t be described. The pain, oh the pain, is unreal. For those of you that have never experienced this pain and want to know what to say or do to those of us that have, here are some suggestions.

Things that you CAN say:
·I prayed for you today.
·I’m thinking about you.
·Mention the child’s name often. (We love to hear people talk about Shae. Especially if you are talking about something that Shae did to make you smile and/or laugh.)

Things NOT to say:
·How are you doing? (After time has passed, it’s okay to say this.)
·It’s God’s will or He is in a better place. (We know that, but for some reason it don’t always help.)

Never expect us to ever “get over it”. The thing that I have always said is, “I will never get over it, but I am learning to deal with it.” We are in no hurry to grieve and move on with life. When our child dies, our world stops. At first I was angry because everyone’s life went back to normal and there we were still without our baby. How in the world could people go on with their life when ours stopped? By we gradually learned to move into what we call our new “normal” life.

Please don’t think that I am being mean, but I just felt like I needed to say these things. I’m not trying to fuss at anyone, but some people can say the dumbest things to grieving parents. I know that if you haven’t experienced this, it’s hard to know what to say. Please don’t ignore us or avoid us. Grief is not a disease. Cry with us, laugh with us, ask us to tell stories, or ask us to share photos. We LOVE to talk about our babies and the joy that they brought us.

Again, I am sorry if this sounds harsh. I don’t know why I got off on this, but I do feel better for saying it all. Thanks for still hanging in there with me.

Don’t forget to give platelets and/or blood. As always, if you live in the Memphis area donate at St. Jude. The number to the donor room is 901-495-2024.


Missing my baby,
Dawn

Shaester,

Hey sweetie. I know that you had to laugh when Mason blamed you for breaking the motorcycle. He is such a hoot. We miss you lots and look forward to the day that we can hold you again.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Wednesday, June 22, 2005 4:46 PM CDT

I apologize for not updating sooner. I was out of town last week with my job training. I was in Jackson, MS and let’s just say not only did I gain some knowledge, but I gained weight as well. You can say that I ate well down there. It was divine. Our HR lady and me went down together. We left Monday morning and came home Thursday night. I missed Todd and Mason so much. This was the first time for me to be away from Mason for 3 nights. What a tough time it was, but I survived. Todd and Mason bonded very much.

This weekend, I will be going to St. Louis with 4 girlfriends. We will leave Friday morning and return Sunday afternoon. I look forward to hanging out with the girls. We will be going to a Cardinals game on Friday night and to Six Flags on Saturday. Sunday we will head home.

I was thinking today about how I know 4 children that have died in the last 9 months. How sad is that. All four were St. Jude patients. Cancer sucks. Thinking on these children and Shae it’s hard not to wonder the big question of WHY. I’d like to share a song with you that I came across today. It’s an old song by the group named 4Him. I have always liked this group and have always loved this song. It speaks volumes.

Why?

They say that into every life
Some rain must fall
For the pain is no respecter
Of the mighty or the small
But sometimes it just seems so unfair
To see the One who’s had more than His share
Oh it makes you wonder why

And Lord I wouldn’t second guess
Your mighty plan
For I know You have a purpose
That’s beyond the scope of man
If you look inside my heart you will find
That I have always been the trusting kind
Oh but still I wonder

Why do the rainy days have to come
When the storm clouds hide the sun
I wanna know why
Why when the reasons aren’t clear to me
When it all is a mystery
I want to know why
And though down here I may not understand
I won’t let go of the unseen hand
For it holds the reasons why

The Lord has never been afraid
Of honest prayers
And He won’t allow the burden
To be more than you can bear
When He knows that your trust is in Him
He doesn’t mind the questions now and then
Even if you wonder

Why do the rainy days have to come
When the storm clouds hide the sun
I wanna know why
Why when the reasons aren’t clear to me
When it all is a mystery
I want to know why
And though down here I may not understand
I won’t let go of the unseen hand
For It holds the reasons why


So many things in life can really shake up your life and it’s human to wonder why. Many days I do ask why this has happened to Todd and me. I know that I can’t dwell on the whys. My focus needs to be on God and how one day soon, I will see my little angel again. What a joyous day that will be.

As always, please donate blood and/or platelets as often as you can. If you live in the Memphis area, call St. Jude at 901.495.2024 to make an appointment. If you haven’t signed up to be a bone marrow donor, please do so. You can do it through St. Jude by giving blood and it won’t cost you anything but time.

Cherish the days you have with your children and never take them for granted. It’s okay if they get muddy, spill their drink, or whatever it is that kids do. Be thankful for each stain in your carpet. Be thankful for the gray hairs that your children have given you. Don’t let your job take the place of spending time with your children. Turn the TV off and listen to them tell you about their day. Crawl into bed with them and snuggle. Let them eat dessert before dinner. Soak up every moment you have with them.

Thanks for listening to me ramble.


Wondering why,

Dawn – mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason


Shae,

Hey sweet baby boy. We miss you lots. I think of you daily. Sometimes it scares me that I am forgetting what your voice sounds like. I want to hold you again and play with your hair. I miss you twirling your hair when you’re tired. I just miss you little guy. Have fun playing with your new St. Jude friends.

Love you to the moon and back,
Mommy

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 9:19 AM CDT

It is with much sadness and a broken heart that I let you know that Emma Grace Hampton earned her wings yesterday at 4:00 p.m. She had been in ICU for 9 weeks on the vent. She coded yesterday and they couldn't revive her. Please pray for this family. Her parents are packing everything up today to head back to Arkansas. They do have some family here to help them as they pack and load everything.
If you would like to sign Emma Grace's guestbook, please go to www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace. I know that her parents would love to hear any word of encouragement.

Before I start crying, I will end this journal.

Thanks for stopping by. Please sign the guestbook before you leave.

Leaning on God for understanding,
Dawn

Wednesday, May 18, 2005 12:33 PM CDT

Happy Wednesday to you all. It's a beautiful day here in DeSoto County, MS. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the butterflies are fluttering around.

It's been a while since my last update. I've been a bit busy here lately. Last week I started a new job. I now work with BankPlus. They are based out of Madison, MS and are branching out into north MS. Right now, there are just 14 of us, but we plan to have 4 more branches opening soon. I have to say that I love my new place of employment and am very grateful for God for blessing me with this job.

I visited Emma Grace last Saturday at the Jude. She is still on the vent and heavily sedated. I had a long nice talk with her daddy. I also saw her mom, but she had friends from back home up there so she was giving the grand tour of St. Jude. Please pray for this precious little girl. She is very sick and needs your prayers. Go to www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace to check on her. Please sign her guestbook and let her parents know that you are praying for her.

I can't mention Emma Grace with out mentioning Stanton. Stanton's mom had surgery last week and is recovering right now. The pain of losing Stanton is still so raw for them and they have many days ahead of them to learn how to deal with Stanton not being around. Please pray for them. Go to www.caringbridge.org/la/stanton to share an encouraging word.

As I said earlier, I started a new job last week. On the same day that I started there is another lady that started. We were talking about Shae and she mentioned that her mom just passed away 3 months ago with cancer. Below you will read a "poem" that she shared with me today. Someone shared it with her last week. The moral of the story is that when our loved ones pass on to Heaven that is when life really starts for them. They are happy and enjoying being free from this world. I hope you enjoy it.


The Dragonfly


Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads,
there lived a little water beetle in a community of water
beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond
with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of
their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and
would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their
friend was dead, gone forever.

Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge
to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would
not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what
he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the
surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so
warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body
changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful
blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body
designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole
new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never
known existed.

Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking
by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and
explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been
before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.

But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could
not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he
understood that their time would come, when they, too, would
know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off
into his joyous new life!


~Author Unknown~


I love this poem and think it explains everything. Thanks Cynthia for sharing this with me.

Next week, Todd’s nephew will be graduating from high school. Aunt Paula is coming in from Florida and Aunt Kathy, Courtney, and little Milo will be flying in from El Paso, TX. We all are very excited about them coming. Milo and Mason are 6 months apart so it will be fun watching them play together. I will be taking off work for 3 days while they are here.

A special “Thank You” to Carol Miller for the music that you hear. I love this song and it speaks volumes about how I feel. Although I don’t have Shae anymore here on earth, I am blessed that God chose Todd and I to be his parents. Carol has an angel in Heaven as well. You can visit her site and read encouraging words from her at www.caringbridge.org/ky/reidmiller.

May God’s love and mercy shine down on you all today and every day. Please sign the guestbook before you leave.


Blessed beyond measure,
Dawn – mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason


Shae,

Hey precious Angel. I thought about you yesterday. Daddy was mowing the yard and Mason was right there with him each step of the way. I immediately went upstairs to get your mower that we gave you. He loved it and got the spots that daddy missed. He was too cute. We miss you angel bear. Thanks for the butterflies. Keep watch over your little brother…he’s just too busy to keep up with sometimes. :-) We aren’t complaining though. He makes sure that I get my exercise in.

I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy

Wednesday, May 18, 2005 12:10 AM CDT

Happy Wednesday to you all. It's a beautiful day here in DeSoto County, MS. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the butterflies are fluttering around.

It's been a while since my last update. I've been a bit busy here lately. Last week I started a new job. I now work with BankPlus. The are based out of Madison, MS and are branching out into north MS. Right now, there are just 14 of us, but we plan to have 4 more branches opening soon. I have to say that I love my new place of employment and am very grateful for God for blessing me with this job.

I visited Emma Grace last Saturday at the Jude. She is still on the vent and heavily sedated. I had a long nice talk with her daddy. I also saw her mom, but she had friends from back home up there so she was giving the grand tour of St. Jude. Please pray for this precious little girl. She is very sick and needs your prayers. Go to www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace to check on her. Please sign her guestbook and let her parents know that you are praying for her.

I can't mention Emma Grace with out mentioning Stanton. Stanton's mom had surgery last week and is recovering right now. The pain is still so raw for them and they have many days ahead of them to learn how to deal with Stanton not being around. Please pray for them. Go to www.caringbridge.org/la/stanton to share an encouraging word.

As I said earlier, I started a new job last week. On the same day that I started there is another lady that started. We were talking about Shae and she mentioned that her mom just passed away 3 months ago with cancer. Below you will read a "poem" that she shared with me today. Someone shared it with her last week. The moral of the story is that when our loved ones pass on to Heaven, that is when life really starts for them. They are happy and enjoying being free from this world. I hope you enjoy it.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005 3:13 PM CDT

This will be short, but I plan to update again soon.

Please be in much prayer for Emma Grace. She had a real bad day yesterday. Go to her site and give her parents a word of encouragement. www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace
They will love to hear any encouraging word that you have to share.


Love,
Dawn

Monday, May 2, 2005 3:33 PM CDT

To every mother that reads this site. Happy Mother's Day to you all.



Mothers

If you send this to just one person, it should make it all the way around
the world by Mother's Day.

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in
their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry
Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here."

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who
can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair
and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween
costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the
mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their
refrigerator doors.

And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football
or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars.

And that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of
course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and
swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream
before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize
how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained
all about making babies. And for all the (grand)mothers who wanted to, but
just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.

For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And
then read it again. "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces
before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro
instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters
to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice
calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at
home -- or even away at college ~or have their own families.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach
aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get
calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them
up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the
words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year
olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the
mothers of those who did the shooting.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their
TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school,
safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and
now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips?

The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all
at the same time?

Or is it in her heart?

Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down
the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to
put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to
hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home?

Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear
news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young
mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...And
mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all. For all of us...

Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every
day that we love them. And pray and never stop being a mom..

Please pass along to all the Moms in your life.

"Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall."

Monday, April 25, 2005 10:48 AM CDT

I have a favor to ask all of you faithful readers.

There is a boy named Sean Maxwell that is 10 that was recently diagnosed with leukemia. (He was diagnosed on Friday the 22nd.) Anyway, Sean's grandmother, Pat Maxwell, is the lady that started the Patchwork and Prayer ministry at our church. (They make quilts for children with catastrophic diseases.) Anyway, before Pat ever met us in person, she was sending us cards during Shae's illness and even after his death. What a heart of gold she has. Her husband, Bill, is the same way. They both love the Lord with all their heart.

Please pray for this family. Sean's parents are Jeff and Shannon. Currently they are in ICU at St. Jude. When I get more details on Sean, I will update.

Thanks for your prayers and concern.

Praying for healing,
Dawn

Thursday, April 14, 2005 4:08 PM CDT

***I have updated the photo page***


I just realized that it’s been almost one month since my last journal. Sorry for the delay. No good excuse, just haven’t updated. I keep waiting on Todd to e-mail me and tell me to update Shae’s site.

Mason turned 2 on the 6th. I can’t believe that my baby is 2. Time sure is flying by. We had his party this past Saturday. Lots of people came and joined in on the fun. Mason had been fighting allergies all week and wasn’t feeling the greatest. He did enjoy opening his presents though. He got lots of good toys. He finally felt like eating cake about 9:00 that night. As soon as I get the pictures developed, I’ll put the one on the photo page.

Emma Grace is still in ICU and on the vent. She is slowly improving. Please pray for her and her family. One of their St. Jude buddies passed away yesterday. As far as I know Emma Grace doesn’t know yet. Pray for her parents as they prepare to tell Emma Grace about her friend earning her wings. Emma Grace’s site is www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace

Stanton’s parents are still dealing with the pain of his passing. Please continue to pray for this precious family. The road ahead of them will be long, but they are strong in their faith will survive this. www.caringbridge.org/la/stanton

Todd is enjoying being back on patrol. He loves his time with Mason. When Mason got up this morning, they went to a doughnut shop and had breakfast. I am so glad that they are spending such precious time together. I wouldn’t take all the money in the world for their bonding. What a gift that they are giving each other. (I love you Todd and am so thankful that God put us together. I am blessed beyond measure.)

Have you donated platelets lately? I tried to in February, but was turned down due to having a stomach virus two weeks before. St. Jude called me last week and wanted to know if I would donate again. My thinking is since they called me, that it’s meant to be for me to donate this time. Wish me luck. I go on May 21st. Pray that I stay healthy. As always, my plea is for everyone to donate platelets and/or blood. If you live in the Memphis area, please call St. Jude at 901-495-2024 to make an appointment. They are always in need of donors. If you don’t live near St. Jude, but live close to a hospital or blood donor center, please call to make an appointment today. You never know when your donation could save a life.

Please sign the guestbook. I love to read the messages. They are very encouraging for Todd and I.

"One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 3:13-14 (New International Version)


Looking forward to going home,
Dawn – Mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason


Shaester,

Hey Sweet baby boy. Mason looked at a picture of you the other day and said, “Shae Pierce”. My heart stopped for a second. It was too sweet. I so wish you could be here to love on him. I know that he would love his big brother. So often do I think about you and him being in the back seat playing or you helping me with him. Thanks for the butterflies. Be sure to keep sending them.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Wednesday, March 23, 2005 11:10 AM CST

******Urgent Prayer Request******
Please pray for Emma Grace Hampton. She is ICU on the vent. She is very sick right now and needs your prayers. www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace Please sign her guestbook and leave a word of encouragement for her mom and dad. Thanks



As most of you know, Sunday was 4 years that Shae went home to be with Jesus. I had such good intentions of updating his site before or on that day, but it just didn’t happen. We went out of town last weekend to spend some time with Todd’s dad and step-mom. It was a nice weekend and we enjoyed the visit. Especially Mason, he pretty much got to do whatever he wanted. It’s okay though, he’s a good child. Mason was wonderful on the five hour drive there and back. He only took a 30 minute nap each way, but it was enough to get him through the trip. He never cried.

Sunday at 11:13 a.m. I tapped Todd on his shoulder and let him know the time. Mason had been jabbering up until that time and then just suddenly stopped talking. Todd jokingly said, “Mason, are you having a moment of silence for your brother?” Mason never responded. He just kept looking out the window and then he said, “Bye Bye”. You may think that I am crazy, but I believe with all my heart that he saw something. I don’t know what he saw, but it was something for him to say “Bye Bye”. Each night I pray that Shae will visit Mason in his dreams. I hope he does. Mason has so much to learn about his brother and the legacy he left. Shae’s story still lives on and it’s my goal that it will live on as long as I am on this earth.

A dear friend of mine paid me the nicest compliment last week. She had read another CB site and the mother had written about the difference of having Joy and having happiness. (It was Stanton’s site and Tina shared her devotion about this.) Anyway, Michele (my friend) told me that what I have is Joy. It made my heart smile. Let me say that my Joy comes from Christ and Christ alone. God has blessed me beyond measure and I would be foolish to blame him or be angry that Shae isn’t here anymore. God chose Todd and me to be Shae’s parents for a reason. We are proud parents of a child promoted to Heaven. It doesn’t mean that I don’t cry and ache to hold him because I do. I would love to have Shae here with me right now, but that wasn’t God’s plan. I have to trust God in this. He knows all and He hasn’t failed me yet. It may be years before I know the whole reason why God chose Shae to go home early and it may never be known to me why. But I know that God is in control and His ways are much better than mine. If I knew right now why God chose Shae, there could be the chance that I would not understand and could be angry with God. Some days, you just have to know that God is Almighty and He knows what he is doing. We have to remember that He knows exactly how many hairs are in your head. He even feeds the sparrows. If he can take care of the birds and make sure that they are feed, then I trust that He will take care of me.

When I think of the Joy that comes from our Lord, I think about all the people in the world that have the material things that they want/need and yet go to bed without God. They have to lie there and know that something is missing. Sure they are happy with their financial status, but God has so much more for them. Even those that are less fortunate and don’t have Christ in their lives must know that something is missing. There is so much Joy that you can receive from Christ. I love my home and my used 5 year old car. I would love to have a BMW, but that won’t replace the Joy that I have in Christ. He is forever faithful and I don’t have to worry about tomorrow. He has everything planned out for me and I trust that He will take care of me.

As Easter approaches, think about what Christ did for each and everyone of us. He died on the cross that we could have eternal life. He did this so we could have the Joy in our hearts that all is well. I hope you will find a church this weekend to attend an Easter service. Allow God to speak to your heart and share His Joy with you.


Todd and I will celebrate 11 years of marriage on Saturday. We have been through some tough times, but with God on our side we have overcome our obstacles and stand strong today. I am blessed with a wonderful husband and am so glad that God placed Todd in my life.

In two weeks, Todd will be going back to patrol. For the last 3 years, he has been in investigations. He misses being home with Mason, so he is going back to patrol in order to be with Mason. He will be working 14 days a month. (12 hour days). What a man of integrity he is. He said, “In ten years, it won’t matter what case I solved, but it will matter how much time I spent with Mason”. I am so thankful that Todd is doing this. Time with your children is the most special time you have. Soak up every moment and NEVER take them for granted.

Please sign the guestbook before you leave. Todd and I enjoy reading your messages. Thanks to you all who prayed for us on Sunday. We felt the prayers and are so thankful that God laid us on your hearts.

Before I forget, Happy Birthday to my twin sisters LaNelle and Michelle. Their birthday is Thursday the 24th. If you see them or talk to them, please wish them a happy day. I won’t tell you how old they are, but I will say that they are older than me.!!!!!!


Joyful,
Dawn – mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason


Shae,

I can’t believe that it’s been 4 years. Some days it seems so much longer and other days it seems like it was yesterday. I know that you are enjoying Heaven and all the sites there. We look forward to joining you one day. We are ready for the butterflies, so start sending them.

Love you lots sweetie,
Mommy and Daddy

Thursday, March 3, 2005 10:18 AM CST

What a month of ups and downs February brought. So much has gone on. One of my St. Jude buddies earned his wings on the 13th. I was able to visit with him and his parents for a brief moment the day before he passed. Little Stanton fought a long hard battle and won victoriously. He is victorious because he is no longer sick. He has a new healthy heavenly body. If you want to visit his site and leave words of encouragement for his family go to www.caringbridge.org/la/stanton . His family would love to know that others are praying for them.

Stanton's best friend, Emma Grace, is doing better. She is still fighting the fight against this beast we call cancer. She still needs prayers. To visit her site and leave a word of encouragement go to www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace. She is adorable and such a sweet little girl.

On Feb.25th, Big Ben Bowen earned his Heavenly wings. He had a rare brain tumor and fought for one year. His site is www.bens-story.com
Please pray for this family. Sign his guestbook and let them know that you are praying for them.

I need to vent for just a minute.........cancer SUCKS. I probably shouldn't use that word, but that's how I feel. It's a beast that doesn't care who it attacks. What Shae had wasn't really considered cancer, but I know too many precious children that have been affected by this beast. Please support any and all cancer research programs that you aware of. If you would like to become a Partner in Hope for St. Jude, go to www.stjude.org and find out how you can help fund the research to find cures for the ugly catastrophic diseases. If you can't donate blood or platelets, please donate money. Thanks! Okay, I am through venting. Thanks for listening.

I attempted to give platelets again on the 12th, but was rejected again. This time is was not my iron that got me rejected, it was the fact that I had the stomach virus. If you have the stomach virus, you have to wait at least one month before donating platelets. Todd donated though and enjoyed a good movie.

Later on the 12th, Todd took me to see the movie, The Wedding Date. It is a cute movie and I loved spending time with Todd. After the movie, we came home to my Surprise Birthday party. I had no idea that he was doing this for me. He and my friend had been planning this for about 2 weeks. I was completely surprised. What a wonderful husband I have. My birthday was the 13th and his was the 19th. I, of course, could not out do or even come close to what he did for me. I did make him breakfast that morning and made him his favorite cake. (His mom¡¦s recipe for Strawberry Cake) He wanted to eat at The Olive Garden, but by the time we got there it was a 90 minute wait. We hope to make it there this weekend. We both had our taste buds ready for that place.

My 12 year old nephew was in a car wreck on a couple of weeks ago. He was with his great aunt and they were turning left across traffic when a truck hit them on my nephew's side. He was in the front seat. They had to cut the door off to get to him. He ended up having a blood clot the size of an egg between his brain and his skull. He had surgery about 4:00 a.m. on Sunday morning to remove the clot. He is doing very well. He came home from the hospital yesterday. We were, of course, all very worried about him. God had his hand on him along with the doctors and nurses. His skull with take a year and a half to completely heal. Please continue to pray for him and his protection. My sister has talked about buying him a helmet to wear whenever he rides in a vehicle. I can't say that I blame her at all.

Please don't forget to donate platelets and/or blood as often as you can. If you are close to St. Jude, call 901-495-2024 and make an appointment today. I will attempt to donate again real soon. I'm starting to get a complex with each rejection.

Also, don't forget about the group I mentioned months back that I am a part of. It's called Desoto Darlings (www.desotodarlings.com) Go to our site and read about the children that are St. Jude patients that live here in DeSoto County. We are still selling jewelry. Each child has their own line. (Shae has two lines.) With each purchase, a portion of the proceeds will go to St. Jude to help further research to find a cure for each nasty catastrophic disease. Thanks in advance for your help.


Thanks for listening today. May God's love and grace be with you daily. Please sign the guestbook so I know that you stopped by. I LOVE reading the entries. They make my heart smile.

In His care,
Dawn - mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason

P. S. I put a new picture of Mason on the photo page.

Shae,
My precious blonde hair blue eyed angel. Oh how we miss you so much. I found a video this past weekend of you and we all three watched it. (Yes, even Mason sat still to watch it.) You and Mason are so much alike. He walks, talks, laughs, and looks like you. The major difference is your hair was so blonde. Thanks for such wonderful memories. There isn't a day that I don't think about you. Spring is coming soon, so I know that you will be sending butterflies my way. I love you sweetie. You're the best.

Love,
Mommy

Friday, February 4, 2005 10:46 AM CST

It is with a very heavy heart that I journal today. Little Stanton Haynes parents received horrible news yesterday. His bone marrow is full of nueroblastoma. They couldn’t find one healthy cell in his bone marrow. He also has “hot” spots on his liver. St. Jude said that since he has the spots on his liver, that he won’t be able to receive the bone marrow transplant. Their goal is to keep him comfortable and happy. Please pray for this precious family. His parents are Jeff and Tina. His has a big brother named Hayden. The entire family has leaned on God for their strength each day and needs His strength even more now. To visit his site and encourage this family go to www.caringbridge.org/la/stanton.

Continue to pray for Ben Bowen and his family. They are still fighting daily to balance his pain medicine. His breathing has slowed down and they are cherishing every moment they have left with him. Go to www.bens-story.com to check on Ben and leave a word of encouragement.

Another prayer request is for Emma Grace Hampton. She is on the 4th floor at St. Jude dealing with tummy issues and GVHD (Graft Versus Host Disease) Emma’s mom called me this morning to let me know about Stanton’s bad news. Emma’s family is very close to Stanton’s family so pray for all involved. www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace

I can’t forget about Jake Raburn. He is doing pretty well right now. My goal is to meet that little angel this weekend. His site is www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen He still needs prayers for a complete healing.

I know that this isn’t the best journal, but I just wanted you all to be praying for the precious children that I listed above. I promise to update again soon.

Believing that God still performs miracles,
Dawn

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 3:52 PM CST

Happy New Year to you all. I hope this New Year brings you health, happiness, and a peace that God is in control.

Todd was actually off work on New Years Eve so we had some friends of ours over and we watched TV and talked. Mason was in bed at his regular time. It was a nice, quiet evening spent with special friends. Before our friends came over, Todd, Mason and I went to the small catfish place around the corner from our house. We were laughing about how we were the youngest ones in there. Anyway, we enjoyed our dinner out.

We had a good Christmas. It was a bit tough for me this year, but as always, I survived. God is so good. Mason enjoyed opening presents and playing with everything. What a sweetie he is. Unfortunately, Todd and Mason had the stomach virus during Christmas. I got it the Monday after. It was the hardest on little Mason. It was a week before he starting eating right. Now, he can’t seem to eat enough. He is pretty much off baby food now. I know, he’s almost two and still eating baby food? He only has 8 teeth and is was picky with his food. Since this virus, he eats lots more. He LOVES bread. Oddly though, he doesn’t like jelly. Go figure a child that doesn’t like jelly. He loves peanut butter w/ bananas. His ultimate favorite sandwich is a grilled cheese. My sitter, Molly, can get him to eat just about anything…..even homemade chicken pot pie. He has also decided that he no longer likes milk…..not even chocolate milk. He likes water, tea, and coke. He is so funny and still so busy. We love it though and wouldn’t change anything.

Todd and I are struggling to get back on Weight Watchers. When we took our vacation back in November, we went crazy with bad for us food and it’s been hard to get back on track. We really need to though. Next month we both have a birthday and I’d like to buy a new outfit in a smaller size. Wish us luck!!!

I ask that you all pray for a little boy named Stanton Haynes. He has Nueroblastoma. He was diagnosed with this a couple years back, was doing well when he relapsed early last year. He has had several rounds of chemo and even went to Philadelphia for a new kind of treatment. He had scans and a bone marrow aspirate last week and they found that his bone marrow is full of this ugly disease. Please pray for a miracle for him and pray for his family. No parent needs this news. Little Stanton is a trooper and is fighting this disease hard. Please visit his site www.caringbridge.org/la/stanton and sign his guestbook to let his parents know that you are praying for them. His parents, Tina & Jeff, are strong in their faith and are trusting God to perform a miracle in Stanton’s little body.

Also, please remember Ben Bowen. His site is www.bens-story.com. If you remember, he was sent home back in October. There is nothing medically left to do for him. His parents are strong in their faith as well. Please visit his site and pray for Tom and Jennifer. My heart just breaks for this precious family.

Emma Grace received her mom’s cells back in December and seems to be doing well. We are praying for her mom’s cells to attack this beast and come out a winner. Emma’s site is www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace.

Oh, one more precious child needs your prayers. Please pray for sweet little Jake Raborn. He has been through several surgeries and so far is doing well at fighting his beast. Please pray for this family too. www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen He is such a cutie.

I know that this is short, but my mind is just not clear today. Thanks for stopping by. PLEASE sign the guestbook so I know that you have been by.

If you live in the Memphis area, please call St. Jude to donate platelets and/or blood. Stanton’s mom stated in her journal yesterday that he will need several platelet and blood transfusions. Donate for him. The number to call is 901-495-2024. I have an appointment on Tuesday, Feb. 12th to give. I can’t wait to go. Maybe I will see some of you there that day!!

Looking forward to a GREAT new year,
Dawn – mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason


Shaester,

Hey precious angel bear. I love you sweet baby and miss you daily. Thanks for coming into our lives. We are forever changed. Mommy and Daddy are very proud of you and we are proud parents of a child promoted to Heaven.

You’re the best,
Mommy and Daddy

Thursday, December 30, 2004 11:09 AM CST

Seven years ago today, I was in the hospital patiently waiting for the birth of William Shae Pierce. I was induced due to my blood pressure being elevated. My pregnancy with Shae was PERFECT. I loved being pregnant with him. Giving birth to him was so easy. I was ready to have another baby the next day. The doctor had to use forceps to help deliver him. Once he was born, we heard the sweetest cry. I can remember that cry to this very day. I can still remember what his little bruised face looked like. What a miracle he was.

Most of you know that on this day seven years ago, my sister also gave birth to a little girl named Mindy Grace. LaNelle, my sister, wasn’t due until late January, but was having difficulties and was induced as well. After us both laboring all day, we gave birth to our precious babies at 6:22 p.m. Yes, Shae and Mindy were born on the same day, down to the same minute. We were on a local news station and in the paper. What an exciting day that was for all of us. My mom was running back and forth from LaNelle’s room to mine. It was pretty funny. Happy Birthday Mindy Grace. Uncle Todd, Mason, and I love you very much. We hope you have a very special day. I know that Shae is wishing you a happy birthday from Heaven.

*Warning....you might need a tissue as you read the rest of this journal.*

This year has been pretty hard for me for some reason. I can’t figure out why. I cried twice Christmas day and now I sit here with tears in my eyes. I miss Shae so much. My heart is so heavy. I know that this was God’s perfect plan, but I still ache to hold my son. His voice was soft and sweet. His smile would light up a room. His eyes, oh his eyes, how big and blue. Everyone remembers his blonde hair and blue eyes. I miss his fat feet and how he would say the word sandal…..”candle”. Some of the things he would say still make my heart smile. I miss his voice.

This morning, Todd got up and went to a doughnut shop around the corner and brought back breakfast. I ate mine and Shae’s favorite and drank chocolate milk in memory of him. Oh how he loved his cake doughnuts with lots of chocolate icing with a big sippy cup of chocolate milk made ONLY by his daddy. He would always eat the chocolate off first and then eat the rest of the doughnut. Thanks Todd for bringing back that special memory. I love you honey and am so thankful that God brought you to me. You are my best friend and I cherish our marriage. 32694-1111

Precious Shae,

Happy Birthday sweet angel. I can’t believe that you would be 7 today. Your daddy and I daily wonder how tall you would be, if your hair would still be so blonde, if you would be into sports, cars, etc.? We also talk about how you and Micah would be best buddies. We spend lots of time with his family, so I know that you and Micah would be together all the time.

I know that your Ma Ma is singing Happy Birthday to you as well as “You are my Sunshine”. I never met her, but I hear that she didn’t have the prettiest voice. Of course, she now has a Heavenly voice so I am sure her singing is much appreciated. Tell Ma Ma that she is missed very much by all that we love her. Also tell her that I look forward to meeting her one day.

Your daddy said last night that you had probably already told Uncle Claude where all the good fishing holes are. I couldn’t respond due to tears. Tell Uncle Claude that we love him and miss him.

Your daddy and I will be going to your grave today to take a balloon and eat lunch. We miss you sweet baby boy.

Keep watch over Mason. Some days he looks so much like you, but he acts different than you. He is a sweet and kind hearted child like you though.

Happy Birthday Shae. Have fun in Heaven celebrating. Lots of love to you.

You’re the best,
Mommy

Wednesday, December 29, 2004 9:12 AM CST

I wanted to do a little update and ask that you all pray for Ben Bowen and his family. He is living his last days and it's not an easy road for this family. Please visit his site and sign his guestbook to send words of encouragement. His site is www.bens-story.com
My heart is very heavy for this family today and I wanted to ask each reader to visit his site and pray earnestly for this family.

Tomorrow is Shae's birthday. I plan to update this afternoon or tomorrow.

Thanks,
Dawn

Tuesday, December 7, 2004 4:21 PM CST

Faithful readers,

I failed to tell you all a couple of updates back that Todd, Mason, and I went to Marco Island, FL for a much needed vacation the second week in November. Todd’s cousins live there, so we stayed with them. We really had a wonderful time. As a matter of fact, we had so much fun that we extended our vacation a few extra days. Mason loved the sand….he even ate a little. He soon learned that it didn’t taste as good as he thought. We went deep sea fishing one day while there. I pretty much just feed the fish that day. Todd caught a small grouper, but threw it back. Todd’s cousin, Todd, fought with something on his line for about 45 minutes, but eventually the line broke and that was the end of that fight. We never got to see what he was fighting with. We went to a small beach a couple of days and enjoyed the wonderful warm weather. Marco Island is such a nice place to live. We saw Shania Twain’s home there. WOW, what a house.

Thanksgiving was a joy as always. We visited with Todd’s extended family the first part of the day. I always enjoy visiting with his family. They are such a delight to be around. The second half of the day was spent with my family. For years, it has been tradition to watch the Egg Bowl at my parent’s house the night of Thanksgiving. (For you non SEC readers, the Egg Bowl is the last football game between Mississippi State and Ole Miss.) I love this game and cheer for MS State. This year, the game was moved to the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It was tough not being able to continue that tradition, but we survived it. My mother was very excited though!!!! She hates sports. My sister, two of my friends, and I drove to Oxford for the game on Saturday. It was a bit chilly and rainy. Ole Miss won, but a good time was had by all. We are already talking about going again next year. Todd will be going with me though. I love to go to sporting events with him.

Each time I journal I try to mention the group that I am involved with that is raising money for St. Jude. The name of the group is Desoto Darlings. The lady that started the group, Jodi, has a daughter that is a St. Jude patient. Little Abbi is doing well. Abbi’s cousin that lives in Missouri wanted to give back to St. Jude, so she is making jewelry and a portion of the proceeds goes to St. Jude for research. Each child that is a part of Desoto Darlings has their own line of jewelry. The parents or child picked out the beads and/stones that they wanted. Shae has two lines!! Orders for Christmas have been coming in left and right. We have been all very excited until last week. Jodi was at the post office last week and her van was broken into. The jerk took her purse, several catalogs of the jewelry, and a large shipment of jewelry. Jodi called the police and another Desoto Darling mom called a local news station. We hate that all the stuff was stolen, but we are getting all kinds of publicity because of it. Three of our 5 local channels are constantly calling Jodi to do a report. Sam’s Town Casino presented Desoto Darlings with a check yesterday to pay for the cost of getting new catalogs printed so we can get more orders for the jewelry. Jodi has been receiving calls from people everywhere wanting a catalog so they can order some jewelry. It’s really awesome. God is blessing this group. If you are interested go to www.desotodarlings.com. Feel free to contact me if you would like to order something.

Well, it’s that time of year that we celebrate God’s gift….Jesus. This year is the first year since 2000 that we decorated. Todd and I just haven’t really been in the spirit of decorating. We finally are excited this year. I guess with the new house, a new Christmas tree, and Mason getting bigger, we are very excited. We aren’t too sure of what Santa will be bringing him, but we will figure it out soon I hope.

I chose the background of “God is Love” instead of Christmas background. I was thinking earlier today that Christmas sometimes gets too commercial and we often forget that Christmas is more than gifts, shopping, decorations, etc. It’s about the birth of Jesus…..our Lord and Savior. What a great gift God gave us. Because of Jesus we can have eternal life. Because of Jesus, I WILL see Shae again in Heaven one day. Because of Jesus, I have hope, peace, joy, and love. Thank you God, for sending your precious Son to earth for us. He is the gift that I cherish. My prayer is that each one of you stops to remember the true meaning of Christmas. Without Jesus, we would have nothing.

One more thing....please say a prayer for me next Tuesday. I am having a couple procedures done to, hopefully, correct my low iron. If you want more details, feel free to e-mail me. I will be off work for about 4 days. Pray that what they are doing will fix the problem. Thanks!!

Cherishing God’s gift,
Dawn – mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason

P. S. Please visit the sites below and say a prayer for these children and their family.

www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace (receiving a stem cell transplant from her mom Thursday and Friday….say a prayer)
www.caringbridge.org/la/stanton
www.caringbridge.org/la/emilie
www.caringbridge.org/tn/madelynbeamon (Just came off the vent in ICU and has problems with her liver.)
www.caringbridge.org/ms/hanna (Hanna earned her wings in August)
www.caringbridge.org/ms/abigail
www.caringbridge.org/ms/micah
www.bens-story.com (Big Ben has been told there is nothing else that can be done. We are praying for a miracle. He’s such a doll.)


Sign their guestbooks and let them family know that they are being prayed for. (Don’t forget to sign Shae’s guestbook too!!!)



Shae,

I miss you angel. Your daddy and I talk about you all the time. We wish you were here with us to celebrate Christmas in the new house. I know that you are with us in spirit. You are a gift that I thank God for. Even though you aren’t here on earth, you’re always in our hearts. You’re the best!!!!

Love you lots,
Mommy and Daddy

Tuesday, November 23, 2004 2:45 PM CST

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Thanks for praying for Todd’s family. I attended the funeral with Todd. He was a pallbearer and I wanted to be there to support him. He’s a wonderful husband and I know that his heart is broken at the loss of such a wonderful man. Please continue to pray for the Pierce family.

As I think about Thanksgiving, I think about how much I have to be thankful for. God has blessed me so much and I could never thank him enough for all that He has done and continues to do for me and my family. Everyday is a gift from God and should never be taken for granted. Right after Shae was diagnosed, a song by Rachael Lampa was becoming popular. The name of the song was “Blessed”. After Shae passed away I gave his testimony to my former church about how blessed Todd and I were. I listed several blessings that we received during Shae’s illness and even during & after his death. I had a girl sing this song for the church before I gave his testimony. God’s presence was so evident in every step of Shae’s sickness. God let us know daily that he was there taking care of everything. Anyway, back to the song I was talking about earlier. I found that CD this weekend and wanted to share the words with you all today. I pray that you are able to sit back and count the blessings that you have received from God. If you can’t think of anything, I can give you some things to be thankful for. For instance, your health, your family, your freedom, your next breath……do I need to add more? I hope the words of the song touches you the way it touches me.

I may never climb a mountain
So I can see the world from there
I may never ride the waves
And taste the salty ocean air
Or build a bridge
That will last a hundred years
But no matter where the road leads
One thing is always clear

Chorus
I am blessed, I am blessed
From when I rise up in the morning
‘Til I lay my head to rest
I feel you near me
You soothe me when I’m weary
Oh Lord, for all the worst and all the best
I am blessed

All along the road less traveled
I have crawled and I have run
I have wandered through the wind and rain
Until I found the sun
The watching eyes ask me why
I walk this narrow way
I will gladly give the reason
For the hope I have today
(Repeat chorus)

Bridge
You’ve given me joy
You’ve given me love
You give me strength
When I want to give up
You came from heaven
To rescue my soul
And this is the reason I know

Repeat Chorus



God is so faithful and I am thankful for all that God has done for me. I am blessed!!!


Blessed beyond measure,
Dawn – mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason

P. S. Please visit the sites below and say a prayer for these children and their family.

www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace
www.caringbridge.org/la/stanton
www.caringbridge.org/la/emilie
www.caringbridge.org/tn/madelynbeamon
www.caringbridge.org/ms/hanna (Hanna earned her wings in August)
www.bens-story.com

Sign their guestbooks and let them family know that they are being prayed for. (Don’t forget to sign Shae’s guestbook too!!!)



Shae,

Happy Thanksgiving to you Sweetie. I know that your Thanksgiving will be better than ours. Enjoy!!! We miss you and are so thankful that God chose us to be your parents. Give hugs to our loved ones there. Continue to watch over Mason.

Love you lots,
Mommy and Daddy

Thursday, November 18, 2004 9:04 AM CST

Today is a sad day for the Pierce family. Todd's Uncle Claude passed away at 6:00 this morning. Claude was the oldest of eight children. Please be in prayer for the Pierce family. Many will be traveling to Alabama for the funeral. Uncle Claude was one of the kindest men in the world. He always had a smile of his face. He was so tall, so I looked up to him in more ways than one. Todd's dad won Uncle Claude to the Lord a few years ago, so we are pleased to say that he was a Christian. I am sure that Shae was waiting at Heaven's gates to greet Uncle Claude. He joins his parents, a sister-in-law, a son, and a nephew in Heaven. They are having a family reunion. Please pray for Judy, his wife, his children, his grandchildren, and other family members. This is very hard on all of us.

Thanks for your prayers,
Dawn



Uncle Claude,
Thanks for always being so sweet to me. You gave good hugs and I will never forget you. Give Shae a hug from us. I wish you could have met Mason....he's a busy little guy. Enjoy your new body in Heaven.

Love,
Dawn

Thursday, October 28, 2004 3:09 PM CDT

Hey y’all. It’s been over a month since I updated and Todd reminded me yesterday that I needed to get busy with an update. Being the submissive wife that I am (ha ha) I will update Shae’s page. In the words of Trish Hampton, “get er done”!!! (Love ya Trish)

Where do I start? God is still blessing the quilt group at my church and they are giving out quilts left and right. It’s a blessing for each person in the group. To see the children’s smile when they pick out a quilt is just priceless. It’s also heart breaking at the same time. We learn to not take family for granted. We also learn that God is an awesome and powerful God and that He is in control.

A dear friend of ours, Jay, set up a website for us about Shae. www.shaepierce.com I have got to get him some pictures of Shae on there. Jay wants pics of Shae and us, Mason, Mason and us, etc. He has wanted us to create this site for a while and we just never did. Thanks Jay for taking care of us and caring for us like you do. We cherish the friendship that we have with you and Michele. Of course, you know that we love your children too. I plan to put Shae’s testimony on there that I wrote about 3 months after he passed away. I shared his testimony with our former church and with my mom’s church. To this day, I know that it was God that I was able to stand up in front of people and talk about what we had been through and share God’s blessings. I love to talk, but get very nervous in front of lots of people.

In the past I have mentioned a group called the Desoto Darlings. We are officially incorporated and have begun to raise money. There is still so much to do. We found out that there are 75 St. Jude patients that live in DeSoto County. I haven’t even met a fourth of them. We are trying to raise awareness that this is a huge thing and that we need to support these families and do what we can to donate to St. Jude. We also are trying to raise awareness about the need for blood and platelet donation. There is always a need for both. Check out our web site www.desotodarlings.com Click on “patients” and then click on “other patients” to see Shae.

Speaking of donating platelets, I have been turned down twice in two months because of my iron being too low. Each rejection devastated me. I want to give so much. Anyway, I went to the doctor the other day to have some lab work done and my iron has dropped from 12.1 to 10.9 in two months. I have to go back next Tuesday to see what’s going on. Until then, I have to take two iron tablets a day. Please pray that there is nothing seriously wrong with me. I have a peace about it, but you can never have too many people praying for you.

Halloween is 3 days away and Mason has no clue. He is going to be Superman. The outfit is a bit too big, but it will do. Todd and I are on Weight Watchers so I don’t know what we will do with the candy that Mason gets. He is too little to eat candy. Since Todd and I started this diet, he has lost 14 pounds and I have lost 5 ½. My goal is to drop 15 pounds by Thanksgiving. Wish me luck.

Mason fell again the other night in the bathtub. He busted his lips and his nose. We all survived it, but it broke our hearts. Poor little guy. He’s just so busy and enjoys life. He is cutting two more teeth. He needs to cut more…he is 18 months and has only 6 teeth. It’s hard to convince him to eat “adult” food with 6 teeth. I could just squeeze that little toot. He is so sweet and loving. He is always smiling.

As you vote next week, remember to pray before going to the polls. Ask for God’s wisdom in making your decision. I can’t tell you who to vote for, but I can ask you to pray for God’s wisdom. Pray for our troops and their families.

Continue to pray for the following children:
Emma Grace - www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace
Stanton - www.caringbridge.org/la/stanton
Ben - www.bens-story.com
Emilie - www.caringbridge.org/la/emilie (recently diagnosed)
Please sign their guestbook and let them know that you are praying for them and their families.

I will end with my plea that you donate blood and/or platelets. Please call St. Jude at 901.495.2024 to make an appointment to give. If you don’t live close to St. Jude, donate at your local life blood center. Don’t forget to register to become a bone marrow donor.

Sign Shae’s guestbook when you stop by. I’d love to hear from you all. Don’t forget to hug your children and/or grandchildren. Let them stomp in the water puddles, shoes dry. Those moments of laughter can be taken from you at any moment. Cherish every moment with them.


Trusting Him,
Dawn – mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason

P. S. I updated the photo album with a picture of Shae's donor, Deanna, and her son Evan.


Shae,
Hey sweetie. As always, I miss you so much. Since you passed away, daddy and I have always had your Meow sleeping with us. Mason decided this past Sunday that he needs it. So now Meow is sleeping with him nightly. He doesn’t go everywhere with Mason they way he did with you. Mason might change that later. It’s bitter sweet to see him holding your stuffed cat that stuck with you through everything. Even when you were your sickest, you held on to Meow. I promise to take good care of Meow for you. We won’t let Mason damage him in any way. We love you baby and miss everything about you.

Love you and see you in Heaven,
Mommy and Daddy

Friday, September 24, 2004 5:59 PM CDT

I would like to start this journal entry by saying, “God is good, all the time”. When Shae passed away 3 ½ years ago, Todd and I had such a burden to help families at St. Jude. We took dinner to a couple of families, but that was about it. In the last month we have been able to visit with three families that are from out of town that are staying at the Ronald McDonald House or the Target House. These 3 families have my heart. My life has been changed forever. Some of you may remember that I was part of a quilt making group through my church. They started last year and have made lots of beautiful quilts. As they are making these quilts, they are praying for the sick children at St. Jude. It’s a wonderful ministry that God has blessed and continues to bless. Due to being busy with Mason and Todd’s schedule, I am not able to attend these classes on Wednesday nights. They have allowed me to still be a part of this group by delivering the quilts to the children. Todd has been with me at each visit and has really enjoyed getting to know these families. We have a bond with these families and feel blessed to be able to spend time with them. The first child we met is Stanton Haynes. www.caringbridge.org/la/stanton He has Nueroblastoma. He is 3 and such a sweetie. He was doing well, but relapsed back in April. His parents, Tina & Jeff, are God fearing people and have learned to lean on God for strength. The second child we met is Emma Grace. www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace She has the same disease as Stanton and relapsed this year as well. She just turned four this week. She is a hoot and a sweetie. Her parents, Trish and Barney, are God fearing parents too and have learned that God is in control of every situation. Both families joined Todd and I in church this past Sunday and what a blessing it was to have them there with us. We packed the pew!! It was God ordained that they were there because two rows in front of us was a St. Jude nurse. At the end of our pew was another St. Jude nurse. And sitting behind us was a St. Jude doctor from radiology. All three St. Jude staff know both families. Tina and Trish were comforted knowing that these three people were around them. Thanks God for being there for these two families. Again, God is good, all the time. The third child that we met is Ben Bowen. He is 21 months and has a brain tumor. He is finishing his protocol right now and will be sent home in a few weeks. His body is not responding like they had hoped and the rest is in God’s hands. Ben’s parents, Tom and Jennifer, have put their life on hold to care for Ben. Ben has a big brother named Eli. Both boys are precious. Ben’s site is www.bens-story.com please pray for this family. Jennifer and Tom are believing for a miracle, but know that God’s Will is what they are praying for. Ben is just a doll. Tom and Jennifer are Christians and know that God is taking care of things.

We feel such a connection to these families. I know that God has placed them in our paths for a reason. Our hearts and prayers are with all three families. I ask that you join us in praying for these families. Go to their sites, read about them, look at their pictures, and sign their guest books. They need encouraging words daily. Allow God to use you to bless them by your words and prayers. Todd and I have walked in their shoes and know the fear, pain, and worry that they face daily. Only God can get you through something so tragic. Everyday is a new day and we have to be thankful for each day. What is so awesome about God is NOTHING catches Him by surprise. He knows everything about us. He has a plan for each and every one of us. What is also so neat is that God’s goes before us and prepares us for what we are going to face. It’s easier said than done, but if we will just give God complete control, things will work out for our good.

I mentioned a while back about a group of DeSoto County St. Jude moms getting together to raise awareness about the need for blood & platelet donors and for people to become registered with the National Bone Marrow Donor Registry. We have already had one meeting and plan on having another one this weekend. We are putting together a “Back Yard Hoe Down” for DeSoto County. Every dime raised will go to St. Jude. We have a country music group that has agreed to perform for us for no charge. God is working all this together and we all are very excited. The “Back Yard” comes from the fact that these children are children in our own back yards that have been diagnosed with a catastrophic disease and are relying on St. Jude for treatment. I will keep you posted on the details and they are released. The name of our group is the DeSoto Darlings. Please be in prayer that God will work things out for us to get business’ to donate prizes or money to our group for St. Jude. It’s going to be a big ordeal and we need lots of people to help.

I need to end now. Please go to the children’s sites I mentioned earlier and pray for these babies and their families. Don’t forget to sign all of our guest books. We know that people are looking at our sites because we have a counter that keeps us with hits. It’s nice to read works of encouragement.

Donate blood and/or platelets as often as you can. Call St. Jude at 901-495-2024 to make an appointment to give. While you are there, you can get the paperwork to sign up to be a bone marrow donor. So many children are in need of donors. Do you part and help save a child.

Thanks for listening today. May God’s grace shine on you.

Trusting Him,
Dawn – mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason

Shae,
Hey sweet baby. Your little brother saw a picture of you last week on my desk, pointed to it and said “Shae”. He knows who you are. Each night while praying for him before I lay him down, I ask God to allow you to visit him in his dreams. I want him to know everything about you. As your Aunt LaNelle once said, we want him to not live in your shadow, but to grow in your light. We miss you lots, but are thankful that we had you here on earth as long as we did. We cherish each moment that we had. You’re the best and we love you lots!!

Love you,
Mommy and Daddy

P. S. Hug your babies and never take them for granted.

Friday, September 3, 2004 4:26 PM CDT

To my faithful readers……thanks for being patient and waiting on me to update. Again, no good excuse to why I haven’t updated sooner. I have so much to share and I don’t know where to start. I am warning you now; I will probably jump from subject to subject. Try not to get lost in this.

The church we attend has a Patchwork and Prayer group. They make quilts for children that are St. Jude patients. I went to a few classes and made a square for one of the quilts. It’s a wonderful group of ladies of all ages. Each quilt is prayed for while being made. Due to lack of time on Wednesday’s, I am not able to go and help make quilts. I requested that I still be kept on the e-mail list and that I get to be a part of delivering quilts. Well, a few weeks ago, I had the honor and privilege of taking a quilt to a 3 year old boy named Stanton. What a wonderful experience is was for Todd and me. In the last 3 years, we have gone back to St. Jude many times and not once have I been as nervous as I was this day. It was really weird being so nervous. I of course prayed for God to give us the words to say to encourage this family and for God’s glory to shine. Well, I stepped out of the car; we were walking towards the hospital when a huge butterfly flew by. Todd and I stopped, looked at each other and then looked at the butterfly and said, “Hey Shae”. It immediately calmed my nerves. Thanks Shae for visiting us. It was a wonderful visit with Stanton and his parents. He is currently in ICU for his body having an infection. The infection caused his heart rate to jump up and his blood pressure to drop dangerously low. He is slowly getting better. Please be in prayer for him. Feel free to visit his web page and sign his guestbook. www.caringbridge.org/la/stanton Before we left, we prayed with and for Stanton and his family. Tina, his mom, gave me a hug. She will never know how much that meant to me. In the next few days, I will have the pleasure of giving out two to three more quilts. Please be in prayer for me and the other ladies of this group. I am very thankful that they allow me to be a part of giving the quilts.

Mason continues amaze us daily. He is very busy and gets a new bruise every week. He is such a precious baby. We are teaching him where things are on his little face. He knows tongue, hair, and nose. His favorite is tongue. He’s so funny when he sticks his tongue out. Everyday is a new blessing and we are thankful for God allowing us to have Mason. I know that Shae is watching out for him.

This morning as I was on my way to work, I passed by a house that was on fire. It didn’t seem as though anyone was at home, but I stopped anyway and called 911. After I hung up, I honked my horn to see if anyone would come out. A lady slowly came out of the house and asked me to call the fire department. I told her that I already had and that they were on their way. After calling her mother, she finally got into my car to get out of the smoke. She was home sick today and had gotten up to let the dog out and go to the bathroom. She has two children, one in high school and one in college. Her name is Beth. Please be in much prayer for this family. Everything was lost. They seem to think it was all electrical. Where I was parked, I was blocked in and couldn’t leave. Finally, they cleared the way some so I could get to work. I got to work around 10:00. On the way to work, it hit me hard. I needed a good cry. My adrenaline was up and just bottomed out when I left. Her dog is the one who got her out her bedroom. He’s the hero. A little Pomeranian named Kelly. What a cutie he is. I feel like I smell like a burnt marshmallow. I can’t get rid of the smell for some reason.

Tomorrow is my family reunion. It’s my dad’s side of the family. My aunt from Florida drove up with her daughters. I look forward to seeing her tomorrow. Say a prayer for her home as well as Todd’s aunt’s house. They both live about 45 minutes from Orlando. I am praying that the hurricane doesn’t make it to their houses.

My good friend is coming in town this weekend. She lives south of Jackson, MS. She will be our first overnight guest in our new home. I plan on making her oatmeal scotchies. (They are her favorite cookies.) I am so looking forward to her visit. We are 33 and have been best friends since we were ten. It’s so nice to have a life long friend.

Well, today has overwhelmed me and I have run out of things to say. Please remember our troops. Pray for their safety and pray for their families. Again, it’s our duty to pray for our President whether we agree with his values or not. I, for one, am Pro-Bush. I watched his speech last night. What an awesome man he is. My prayers are for God to continue to guide and direct him daily in the decisions that he makes. What a load he must carry. Again, pray for our leaders!!!

Trusting God,
Dawn – mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason

A memory of Shae – Shortly after Shae was diagnosed, we were blessed to go to Gulf Shores, AL for a vacation. When we got to the condo, Shae ran to the balcony and looked down at the pool and said, “Hello down there”. He said it so much and we couldn’t help but laugh. After he passed away, the nurses cleaned him up and put on his favorite pajamas and let us back in the room. When we walked in the room, I told Todd that Shae was looking down saying, “Hello down there”.

Shae,
Thanks for all the precious memories that we have of you. We love and miss you daily. With God’s help, we have learned how to cope with the pain. As you would always say, “God is good, ALL the time”. I love you baby. You’re the best.

Love,
Mommy and daddy

Friday, July 30, 2004 4:24 PM CDT

I am not sure how long this entry will be today, but I wanted to update before the weekend. Four years ago today, we had to take Shae to LeBonhuer to find out what was wrong with him. Four years ago today, our life changed forever…..never to be the same again.

Our lives were changed in so many ways…too many to count. God has been so faithful to take care of Todd and I. We were faced with a traumatic time in our lives, but in our hearts and minds we knew that God was in complete control of everything. We began a journey of learning to lean on God for everything. I am so thankful that Todd and I were both raised in Christian homes. God guided us daily with Shae. In the beginning, I prayed for God to heal Shae completely and never doubted that He could. As time went on, I learned to pray for God’s perfect Will to be done. It took a long time to pray that prayer, but I eventually learned that praying for God’s will was the only way to get peace about everything. It was hard letting go and giving God complete control. Once we did that, God’s peace surrounded us daily. We always knew in the back of our minds that Shae could die, but we continually leaned on God for strength. We faced each day relying solely on Him.

Sunday will be four years that we walked through the doors of St. Jude for the first time. We had no idea what we were going to face that day. I remember signing papers thinking, “I don’t know why I am signing all this stuff. Shae is fine, they will see. This is not happening to us.” So many emotions flooded us that day. The days that followed were hard, but we got through them. Thanks be to God for loving us and being our strength.

If you read the guestbook, you will see where a lady named Jodi Shaw signed asking me to call her. I did and boy does she have a wonderful idea. She has a little girl named Abigail that is a St. Jude patient. Her hearts desire is to give back to St. Jude. There is no way in the world, financially, that we could pay St. Jude back for all the treatment and care that Shae received. The only way that we could possibly start paying them back is to donate blood and/or platelets. Jodi has done her homework and knows what it cost St. Jude to get blood from other blood services. She has figured that if just 50 people will pledge to donate platelets once a month for a year that it will save St. Jude $300,000.00 a year. From what she was told, that $300,000.00 is what it cost to treat one child a year. Jodi and I share a bond that will never be broken……we have been affected by a child of ours needing St. Jude. Jodi, me, and other DeSoto County St. Jude families will be getting together soon to start a program that will get people to sign up to donate blood and/or platelets. It’s in the works and we need your prayers for guidance and for lots of participation. You will hear more from me as we start the planning of this program.

This is going to be short, due to lack of time. Believe me; I have much more to say. Continue to pray for our troops and our leaders.

Donate blood and/or platelets. You could be saving a life!!! If you live in the Memphis are, call St. Jude at 901.495.2024 to donate. I have an appointment on September 11th to give platelets. It’s the least that I can do. I know of two children that are inpatient right now that have been getting platelets and blood.

Have a good weekend and say a prayer for Todd and me. We will need them as we face the days ahead.

In His care,
Dawn – mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason

Shae,

Mommy misses you so much. We saw two people last night from St. Jude. They both said that Mason looks just like you. I miss your sweet voice and how you would pronounce your words. Keep watching out over us. You’re the best!!!

I love you,
Mommy

P. S. I have added two new pics of Mason.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004 2:59 PM CDT

***I have added two new pictures of Mason. They are big, so be patient waiting on them to download.***





I can’t believe that it’s been almost a month since my last update. Boy, am I behind. As one Caringbridge mother says sometimes, get a cup of coffee and sit back because I have a lot to say today.

To start out, I asked you all to pray for a little girl named Zoie last month. Last week she was given 2 weeks to live and she only made it three more days. She passed away Saturday morning. When the doctors told her parents that she didn’t have much time, they gave Zoie the option of going home to Louisiana or staying at the Ronald McDonald house. She wanted to stay at the Ronald McDonald house and they granted her that wish. She was surrounded by family and friends. Her parents left Sunday morning to head back to Louisiana. While I was in church Sunday morning, her parents were very heavy on my mind and I began to pray for them. I was thinking about them having to leave without Zoie and March 20, 2001 came flooding back to my mind. We had tons of toys and clothes, but we still left the hospital empty-handed. No Shae to take back home with us. Of course, I cried. No parent should have to deal with that. Please be in prayer for Zoie’s parents, Chastity and Travis. The funeral is today or tomorrow. Feel free to sign their guestbook and send them a word of encouragement. www.caringbridge.org/la/zoie

We had a good time on vacation. Mason loved it as well. He did miss his bed though. He did wonderful on the flights. I was so proud of him. Of course, I prayed each time we boarded the planes that God will help Mason to be good. (Thanks Jesus) We stayed at Todd’s aunt’s house while we were there. We got to meet the newest member to the family. His name is Milo and he is 9 months old. What a cutie he is. He and Mason had a good time playing. Mason did seem to get a bit jealous at times. We have a couple of real cute pictures of them two playing that I will add to the photo page soon. (Sorry, I don’t have the disk here at work right now.)

I have some wonderful and exciting news. Todd’s two sisters, Gayle and Diana, are possible bone marrow matches for someone. They registered with the Bone Marrow registry when Shae got sick. This is the second time for them to be contacted. They have to have lots of blood drawn and go through more tests to see if the they are a perfect match. I am so proud of both of them. I know that Shae is very proud of them too. I will keep you all posted if they are a perfect match.

I must tell you about a dream that a dear friend of mine had about Shae. She had it last week. Crystal, my friend, used to keep Shae for us and he called her Ki Ki. She dreamed that she was sitting on our sofa waiting for Todd, Mason, and me to come home. She heard a noise and said, “I am in here guys.” Well, down the stairs walked Shae. He looked at her and said, “Hey Ki Ki”. She asked what he was doing there. He told her that he was just checking out Mason’s new room and that he loved it. He also said that he was proud and excited for us getting the new house. Then he said, “Do you know what is even more cool, my little brother.” He hugged Crystal and went back up stairs. When she told me this, I cried. Thanks Shae for visiting Ki Ki in her dreams. I will never forget that dream. I know that she won’t either. He loved his Ki Ki and she loved him too. He could get just about anything he wanted from her. Thanks Crystal for loving Shae as though he was your own. Crystal, thanks for sharing that dream. Love ya!!

For a house warming gift, my dear friend, Becky, bought us a butterfly bush. Her mother has one and says that she always has tons of butterflies. Thanks Beck. It really meant so much to us that you thought of Shae and us. We love you.

Mason had his first “bloody” accident in the tub Sunday night. He stood up, slipped, hit his chin, bit his tongue, and then fell back and hit his head. He bit his tongue pretty good. He bled for a while and he cried for 30 minutes. Todd and I cried too. He’s better now. I felt so sorry for him. I can’t imagine the pain he felt. Poor little guy!! Speaking of Mason, he is staying so busy. Not much slows him down. He loves the outside. He greets Todd everyday when Todd gets home. It’s just too sweet. He is so loving and precious. Thank you Lord for another wonderful child.

Now that I have jumped from subject to subject, I want to share a song with you that I love and it says so much of what I feel. It’s by MercyMe and its called Homesick.

You’re in a better place, I’ve heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times, I’ve rejoiced for you.
But the reason why I’m broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you.

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home is where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I’ve never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord, because I don’t understand your ways
The reason why, I wonder if I’ll ever know
But even if you showed me the hurt would be the same
Because I’m still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home is where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I’ve never been more homesick than now

In Christ there are no goodbyes
In Christ there is no end
So I’ll hold on the Jesus with all that I have
To see you again


It’s a very beautiful song and it touches my heart so much. I miss Shae daily. The pain doesn’t get easier, but I have learned how to deal with it. It has been through God that I can wake up each and everyday and go forward with my life. God blessed Todd and I with two wonderful boys and we are forever grateful.

Oh, in the last update I asked you all to pray for David Bellavia. On June 19th, I got an e-mail from her and here is what it said. “Hello. I just wanted to update everyone on David. He was injured last week in Iraq. His unit was called after another battalion was ambushed by insurgents. One soldier was killed, three others in his unit were seriously injured. David was hit with shrapnel in the leg - in one side and out the other. He is currently at Camp Normandy in Iraq - and is scheduled to come back to the U.S. in the next two weeks (he thinks)
- to "rest" and heal. He may have to go to Walter Reed Medical Center. He says it hurt really bad, but he is okay. He, of course, has stitches and is on medication. All the shrapnel appears to have come out (per x-rays) It is unclear how long he will be home, but he thinks for around 28 days. (I was hoping he would get R&R to come home, but not like this.) As of now- he says he will probably have to go back to Iraq. Please keep him and the rest of our troops- who are fighting in these battles everyday - in your prayers. Deanna”. Please keep David in your prayers.

Again, I know that I have jumped from subject to subject, but I warned you all that I had a lot to say. Don’t forget to donate blood/platelets. If you live in the Memphis, TN area, please donate at St. Jude. The number to the blood donor room is 901-495-2024.

Shae, thanks for watching out over us. I know that you were standing in line to greet little Zoie at Heavens gates. We have no doubt that you have already showed her everything cool in Heaven. Thanks for the butterflies that we get daily. We love you and can’t wait to see you again.

In His care,

Dawn – mommy to ^Angel Shae^ and precious Mason


Don't forget to sign the guestbook!!!

Tuesday, June 15, 2004 12:53 PM CDT

*****PLEASE go to www.caringbridge.org/la/zoie and sign this child's guestbook. Zoie's parents were told yesterday that they have done all they can do for her and gave her 2 weeks. Please pray for this family. They need your support, prayers, and love.

I will update again soon. Again, please pray for Zoie and her family.





Well, I had typed this long update one day last week and when I clicked to update, it disappeared. I was completely bummed. Todd asked me this morning if I had updated and I told him that I would try again today.

We got all moved in on the 5th. It was a bit crazy, but we survived. God blessed us with good help and a truck that we didn't have to pay for. (Thanks Neil for the truck.) Mason loves his new house. So much more room to explore in. This past weekend he started walking a good bit. He is so cute. He gets so excited when he walks. He'll start off slow, speed up, and then slow down again. It's just too precious. I wish Shae was here to help Mason with walking. I know that Shae would be very careful with Mason and very protective of him.

We had some friends over for dinner Sunday night and they brought two of their boys. (Ages 6 and 4) Anyway, the boys played outside and had a good time. Later in the evening, I went outside to play ball with the two boys. It was bittersweet. Micah, the 6 year old, wanted me to pitch the ball with him. It was fun, but I really missed Shae and kept picturing him running the bases or batting. I must share a story about Micah. He was born 5 months before Shae was. He is a sweet boy. The church where we all attend built an addition to the church last year. The name of the building is the Faith building. Anyway, before they laid the carpet for the building, they asked everyone to write on the concrete. We could write the name of someone that was a sinner, someone that was sick, etc. Many people wrote different things. Sweet Micah wrote "Micah and Shae, best buddies forever". As you know, it touched our hearts so much. Micah was baptized two weeks ago and I know that Shae was rejoicing with us all. I am so proud of Micah for being a Christian and making his public profession.

Now that I can't see from crying, I will change the subject. We are leaving next Thursday to go to Florida. Todd's cousin is getting married on the 26th. We are very excited about going. We haven't had a vacation in 2 years and we need one. Pray for traveling mercies for us. Also pray that Mason will not have problems flying. He, of course, has never flown before. We will be returning on the 30th. While we are in Florida, we plan on visiting one of my aunts. She has had some serious health issues in the last year and I want to make sure that we see her soon. Every year, she drives from Florida to Memphis, TN for our family reunion, but she won't be able to this year. Last year, she was in town for a while right after Mason was born. She came to visit me several times. Well, she said that she came to visit me, but she held Mason most of the time. :-) I love my aunt dearly and want Mason to know her. I know that she loves Mason. She also loved Shae very much.

Some of you may wonder why I have chosen the patriotic background and the reason why is because of David Bellavia. David is in Iraq, or somewhere close to there, fighting for our freedom and our rights. He is the husband of Shae's bone marrow donor. David has been gone for about 2 years now. He has been home about 3 times. (Deanna, please forgive me if I get this wrong.) Anyway, David and Deanna have a son named Evan. Evan misses his daddy so much. Please pray for David's safety. Also pray for Deanna and Evan. It's been really hard on Deanna to be mom and dad. We have never met the Bellavias, but that are very special to us. David, this background is for you. We pray for your safe return soon. Isaiah 40:29, "He gives power to those who are tired & worn out; He offers strength to the weak."

Continue to pray for all the children at St. Jude and their families. Remember to donate blood and/or platelets. The number to the St. Jude donor room is 901-495-2024. Thanks for donating.

Don't forget to pray for our troops and our leaders. It's our Christian duty to pray for our leaders. (Even if we don't agree with them.)

I'd like to end this journal entry with a scripture. 2 Cor. 1:3, "He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us." God is good, all the time.

I love you Shaester. You're the best. We miss you so much, but we know that Heaven is where you are supposed to be. God had a plan for your life and you fulfilled His plan.

In His care,
Dawn - mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason

Friday, May 21, 2004 8:56 AM CDT

Todd reminded me the other day that I have not updated in a while, so here I go.

The last time I updated, we had sold Todd's motorcycle and the Envoy. Well, later that day, we got a contract on our house. Woo-hoo!!! Go God!!! Needless to say it was a good day. We are set to close on both houses on June 4th and we have to be out of our house by the 9th.

I started packing some pictures last night and of course, had to cry. I miss Shae so much and wonder what he would think about us moving. I know that he would love having a bigger back yard and stairs to run up and down on.

We have this beautiful painting of Shae in our living room that a kind gentleman from our former church painted shortly after Shae passed away. It's so beautiful and breath taking. Anyway, Mason crawls over to the wall where it is hanging and will look up at it and make this yelling noise. It's really cute and it makes me smile. We show him pictures of Shae everyday and he always wants to kiss the picture and he laughs.

I get a scriptured e-mailed to me daily and today's was really good and needed. When I read it, I thought of all the other caringbridge families that I have come in contact with over the last year. There are a few that have earned their wings and there are few that have relasped. The scripture is found in Isaiah 43:2, "When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you." How encouraging it is to know that God is with us. What an awesome and powerful God He is. God has proven to me time and time again that He will never leave me and has been there the whole time. I am so grateful for His unconditional love and mercy.

The other day, I got an e-mail from a girl that I know through work that wanted info on how to be a bone marrow donor and an organ donor. It really meant a great deal to me that she wants to be a donor. She donates blood often and feels that giving blood is not enough. Thanks Anya for caring and wanting to do more.

If you are interested in becoming a bone marrow donor, you can go to www.marrow.org and if you want to be an organ donor go to www.organdonor.gov. Don't forget to donate blood and/or platetes. St. Jude would love to have you donate there if you live in the Memphis area. Their number is 901-495-2024.

Please be in prayer for the following caringbridge families:

www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace
www.caringbridge.org/wa/matt
www.caringbridge.org/la/stanton
www.caringbridge.org/mn/laplafcan
www.caringbridge.org/la/zoie

These children are either currently under treatment for being recently being diagnosed or have relasped. Please sign their guestbook and let them know that they are being prayed for.

Love in Christ,
Dawn - mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason

Tuesday, May 4, 2004 2:23 PM CDT

Hello to all. Today is a beautiful day. As I look outside and see God's creation, I wonder how people can live their life not believing in God Almighty. He is truly amazing and I am so blessed beyond measure.

A good bit has gone in since I last updated. Mason got his hair cut about 2 weeks ago. He was too sweet and didn't fuss. Thanks to Cindy for keeping him occupied so her mom could cut his hair. There is a picture of him on the photo page right after his hair cut. My face is very red because it was so hot in the house that we were in.

Todd sold his motorcycle a couple of weeks ago and we sold our Envoy today. Things are starting to fall into place for us. We had a verbal offer on our house, but had to counter offer because the woman's offer was too low. We are waiting on God's timing for all of this. With Shae and what he went through, we have learned that you can't rush God. His timing is Perfect. I look back now and am glad that we didn't sell the Envoy back when we starting trying to sell it. I needed it for when I had a wreck in my other car and needed the Envoy again yesterday and today because of having two flats Sunday on the way to church. Todd hit a HUGE pot hole and it flattened both tires on the passenger side. It happened in Olive Branch, so the city is filing it on their insurance and we will be getting our money back for the two new tires that we had to buy. Thank you Lord. :-)

This morning, a fellow caringbridge mother signed Shae's guestbook and told me that she hoped my little butterfly, Shae, would swing by to say hello. Well, after lunch I was looking outside the windows by my desk and there was a yellow butterfly. It stayed for a few minutes and then flew away.

I just got a call a few minutes ago and they want to show our house tonight between 5:30 and 6:30. Go God!!!!

Don't forget to donate blood and/or platelets. As always, if you are in the Memphis area please donate at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Their number is 901-495-2024.

Thanks to all you faithful readers. It's nice to read your guestbook entries.

Love,
Dawn - mommy to ^Angel Shae^ & precious Mason


Shaester,

Thanks for sending the butterfly today. Mommy needed it. You're the best. We miss you so much. Keep looking out for us. Everytime we show Mason a picture of you, he smiles so big. I know that you two would have been best buddies.

Love and miss you lots,
Mommy

Friday, April 16, 2004 9:05 PM CDT

Today I have been a bit emotional. There are a number of reasons, but I won't go into detail. I really miss Shae and need him here to hug on. Mason's lets me hug on him, but he soon is ready to get down and get into something. I miss Shae's sweet voice and how he would say things. I miss his sweet feet and hands.

Most of you know, I keep up with several caringbridge children. Some are doing well with treatment, some have just recently relapsed, some are living their last days, and some have already earned their wings. It's a wide range of emotions as I check these pages daily. I rejoice with those that are in remission and doing well. My heart breaks when I read of a child that has relasped and has to start all over with chemo and/or radiation knowing that the fear in their parents heart is so big, yet they have to be positive for their child. Then you have the ones that are living moment by moment and hearing the hurt and fear in the words of their parents with each journal update breaks my heart. And last, but not least, the ones that have gone to Heaven because God needs them.....oh how the tears flow. I read one journal today that meant so much to me and yet I had to fight back the tears. The mother was talking about Easter and how she wished her son would be raised from the dead. I thought about how much I would like for Shae to be raised from the dead. It would be nice to have him hear with us, but only if he is well and I have a guarantee from God that he will NEVER get sick again. God's plans are so different from ours and it's so hard sometimes to grasp that God knows what is best for us. So many times, I have wanted to just tell God, "you really should try it this way", but I know that I can't and I have to remember that God is in control. God has NEVER failed me and I don't expect him to. We know that he is ALWAYS with us and knows what is best for us.

To God be the Glory. Todd and I are so thankful that God chose us to be Shae's parents. So many people have told us, "I couldn't go through what you have been through." We must all remember that God will not put anything on us that we can't handle. His strength is perfect. He knew us before we were formed in our mother's womb. Every hair on our head is numbered. God made us and we are His children. He will take care of us and lead us through everyday.

Please remember to pray for Matt Warren (www.caringbridge.org/wa/matt), Savannah (www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah), Emma Grace (www.caringbridge.org/ar/emmagrace), and many others that are dealing with a catostrophic disease.

Please donate blood and platletes. As always, if you are in the Memphis area, please call St. Jude Children's Hospital at 901-495-2024 to donate there. If St. Jude doesn't have the blood they need, they have to get it from Life Blood or another source and it cost lots of money to do that. Don't forget to sign up to be a bone marrow donor.

Below is a song from a Veggie Tale video that Shae loved. I always think of Shae when I think of this song.

"Think of me everyday
Hold tight to what I say,
and I'll be close to you
even from far away.
Know that wherever you are,
it is never to far.
You just think of me
and I'll be with you."

I love you Shaester. Daddy and Mommy miss you so much. Keep watching over us...especially your little brother. He got his first bruise and knot on his forehead yesterday. He's a busy boy and not much slows him down. I know that if you were here, you would be constantly trying to protect him from being hurt. Keep sending butterflies our way. People might think we are crazy, but we always say, "Hey Shae" when we see a butterfly.

Love to all,
Dawn - mommy of ^Angel^ Shae and precious Mason

Saturday, April 10, 2004 11:01 PM CDT

Happy Easter to everyone. I pray that everyone will take time to remember the true meaning of Easter. I am so thankful for the Love of God. He loves us so much that he gave his only son to die on the cross for our sins. We are so unworthy of such love and grace. And to know that one day we will be with Him in Heaven to rejoice forever more....what a time that will be. I look forward to the return of our Lord. I have always been excited about going to Heaven and now that I have my own little angel there makes it sweeter.

God bless you all. May you know that God is with you and watching over you.

As always, please donate blood and/or platelets. If you live in the Memphis area, please donate at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Their number is 901-495-2024.

DON'T FORGET TO SIGN THE GUESTBOOK! :-)

Love in Christ,
Dawn - mommy to ^Angel^ Shae and Precious Mason

P. S. I have added a new picture of Mason.

Monday, April 5, 2004 1:54 PM CDT

Hello everyone. I trust that all is well with you. We are doing fine. Mason's birthday is tomorrow, but we had his birthday party Saturday night at our house. It was crowded but fun. He got lots of toys and much needed clothes. He was so funny, because all these people were in house and he was not used to that. He had a good time though. He will go to anyone, so everyone took turns holding him. He didn't care too much about his cake and eating it. He was just glad to get a bath, eat his cereal, and go to bed. It was a busy day for him that day.

The realtor showed our house Saturday. We haven't heard any feedback yet. We are hoping to sell quickly so we can move into the new house. Of course, we will have to wait on God and his timing. As humans, we often get impatient with God when he doesn't do things when we think he should. Of course, God's timing is always perfect and we must wait on him. Waiting on God teaches us patience and increases our faith in Him. God has never failed me once and I know that he will always take care of me. As Shae would say, "God is Good, ALL the time."

As always, don't forget to donate blood and/or platelets. If you live in the Memphis area, please donate at St. Jude Children's Hospital. Their number is 901-495-2024.

God bless you all. May His light shine on you and give you peace.

Love,
Dawn - Mommy to ^Angel^ Shae and Precious Mason

Friday, March 26, 2004 3:56 PM CST

Hello my faithful readers. Today is mine and Todd's 10 year wedding anniversary. I can't believe he has put up with me this long. We had lunch today and he sent me a dozen red roses. They are BEAUTIFUL. We plan on having dinner tomorrow night at one of our favorite restuarants, The Melting Pot. We love eating there and have not been in at least a year. It's a bit expensive, so we only go on special occasions. It's worth every dollar spent.

Last week, I asked you to pray for a little boy named Matt that has been recently diagnosed with leukemia. He has a web page now, so please stop by a check on him & sign his guestbook. www.caringbridge.org/wa/matt He is such a beautiful little guy.

Also, please pray for a little girl named Savannah in Arkansas. She is home with her family and living her last days. Her mom is updating her site on a daily basis. www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah

Have a good weekend. Treasure every moment that you have with your family. Hug and kiss on your children extra and never take them for granted.

Again, please donate blood and platelets. If you are in the Memphis area, call St. Jude at 901-495-2024 to make an appointment. Don't forget to register to be a bone marrow donor.

God bless you all for your prayers and love.

Dawn - mom of Angel ^Shae^ and precious Mason

Monday, March 22, 2004 9:30 PM CST

Praise the Lord for strength for each and every day. Todd and I had a very good day Saturday. The first thing we did was go look at houses. (We found one that we like!!) Anyway, we later went to Shae's grave and let balloons go. Mason's balloon got stuck in the tree that is close to Shae's grave. We also tied a huge butterfly balloon to the vase of his marker. It was a beautiful day.

I have always promised myself that I would teach my children not be afraid of storms. Shae loved it when it stormed. When it was safe, I would let him stand at the window and watch the storms. As I said earlier, Saturday was a beautiful day. Around 5:30 or 6:00 in the evening, a storm rolled in. It was a big one too. Todd and I both said that it was Shae's perfect ending to his 3rd birthday party in Heaven. :-) My parents and sister even commented on Shae and the storm being his way of celebrating.

On Sunday, I went back by the grave to see if Mason's balloon had gotten lose. Well, it had been "released" and Shae's butterfly balloon was gone too. I guess Shae wanted both balloons and got them when the storm came through.

We put our house on the market tonight and signed a contract on another house too. Please pray for God's perfect will to be done. We are very ready to move into a bigger home, but we want it in God's timing.

Please don't forget to donate platelets and blood. If you are in the Memphis area, PLEASE donate at St. Jude. Their number is 901-495-2024. Also, if you haven't already, please register to become a bone marrow donor. You never know when you could save a child's life.

May God's Grace and Peace be with you today. Give thanks to God for all he has done.

Don't forget to sign the guestbook!! I love to read your entries.

Dawn - mom to Angel ^Shae^ and precious Mason

Saturday, March 20, 2004 6:23 AM CST

Shae,

Good morning to you my precious angel. Today is your 3rd birthday in Heaven. I know that you will be having a wonderful party. I saw a butterfly again yesterday and thought of you. Daddy and I miss you so much, but we know that Heaven is where God needs you. We are proud that God chose us to be your parents. I would do it all over again.

Mason is getting so big. He is so opposite of you, but I know that's a good thing. He is a busy boy and has a bit of a temper. Of course, he is spoiled like you were. I said that he is opposite of you, but he does have some of your ways. He LOVES his bed and his woobie. Your "Meow" sleeps with daddy and me. We will have to get Mason something else to sleep with when he gets older. We got a bunch of your toys down from the attic a couple of weekends ago and you would have thought it was Christmas. Mason still hasn't played with everything. Of course, me being the germ freak that I am, I had to clean everything with a Clorox wipe.

Today, daddy, me, and Mason will be going to your grave. We will be taking some balloons and some new flowers. We are going to let Mason send a balloon up to you. I can't believe that you have been in Heaven for 3 years. Sometimes, it seems like yesterday that we held you in our arms for the first time. What a precious baby you were. You were so predictable when it came to your schedule. We miss eating chocolate donuts and Reese cups with you. You were like your mom, you loved your chocolate. I never could make your chocolate milk dark enough for you. You would always take it to your dad so he could make it the right way.

We love you Shaester. Thanks for watching over us and sending us signs that we are going to make it and that you are ok. I wish I could hold you one more time, but I know that it still wouldn't be enough. I would always want just one more hug.

We are thankful that God blessed us with you. I love to talk about you and share your story. I don't know why God needed you, but it's ok. Knowing that you are in Heaven gives us Peace. I am so ready for the rapture. Even so, come Lord Jesus.

Keep watch over Mason, he's a busy guy. I promise that he will know all about you. He won't live in your shadow....he will live in your light.

See you soon in Heaven. Give all of our loved ones a hug for us. You're the best!!!!

Love you lots,
Mommy

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 2:07 PM CST

*****Another update on Matt Warren***** 3/19/04
Yesterday, I asked you all to pray for Matt Warren. His father works at our bank. Anyway, he does have Leukemia. He has ALL and has an 80-85 percent survival rate. Please continue to be in prayer for Matt and his family. Thanks so much for praying.


What a beautiful day that God has made. It is so georgous outside. Days like today make me think of Shae. He loved to be outside in the sun. His blonde hair would just shine.

I had to take Mason to the doctor this morning. He has had the stomach virus since Saturday and just can't seem to shake it. Hopefully, he will be over this soon. Poor little guy just doesn't feel well at all. I have added a new picture of Mason. For some reason, it's huge. I hope you all can view it.

Saturday will be 3 years that Shae went home to be with Jesus. We miss him so much, but we know that he is well and having the time of his life. We can't wait for the Lord to return to get us all. What a day that will be.

On my last journal entry, I asked everyone to pray for a little boy named Kyler that was in the hospital and not doing well. He passed away last Friday evening. Please pray for his parents. His funeral was yesterday. His web page is www.caringbridge.org/mn/kylerlinquist. Please sign his guestbook, so his parents can see that people are lifting them up in prayer.

Please don't forget to donate blood and/or platelets. Shae's protocal involved blood transfusions almost weekly, so we know the urgency of donating blood. If you live in the Memphis area, please donate at St. Jude. The number is 901-495-2024. Thanks!!!!

May God's love and peace surround you all. May you find the Joy that comes only from our Heavenly Father.

Love,
Dawn - mom of Angel ^Shae^ and precious Mason

Wednesday, March 3, 2004 9:32 AM CST

I know that it's been over a month since I have updated Shae's page. There's no good excuse, so I won't try to think of one.

Since I have started this page, I have found so many other sites of children that have earned their wings. There are so many parents out there that have and are walking the same road that Todd and I walk daily. Some parents are so depressed (rightfully so) and others that have found that they will survive with help from our Heavenly Father. It's in our darkest hours that God gives us strength to get out of bed, got work, etc. I honestly don't have any idea how Todd & I would have survived without God holding our hands and walking with us through this journey. "God is good, all the time."

March 20th is fast approaching. This year it's on a Saturday so Todd and I won't have to take off work. We plan on spending the day with Mason. I know that we will go to Shae's grave to take some new flowers and possibly a balloon. We ask that you all continue to remember us in your prayers. God is daily blessing us, but it's nice to always have someone praying for you. :-)

Speaking of prayer, please remember a little boy named Kyler. He is in the hospital right now in MN. He has RSV and pneumonia, plus some other problems. He is on the vent and heavly sedated. His parents are tired and worried. He has a web page....please stop by to read about him and leave an ecouraging word to his parents. I can honestly say that I know how they feel. Kyler's web page is www.caringbridge.org/mn/kylerlinquist.

Mason will be 11 months old on Saturday. Boy how time flies. He is so busy, but we love it. I said the other day that Shae is living through Mason. He gets into everything that he can. Shae was a very laid back child and we never worried about him putting anything in his mouth or us having to put things up out of his reach. Mason....another story. He is our explorer and is interested in EVERYTHING. He cut his first tooth a couple of weeks ago. I am sure that he will be cutting more real soon.

I must end this journal and do some work. Thanks for listening and checking in on us. May God shine his light on you all today.

If you live in the Memphis area and want to donate blood or platelets, please call St. Jude blood donor room at 901-495-2024. They are in constant need of both blood and platelets. Thanks in advance for donating.

Dawn - mom of angel ^Shae^ and busy Mason :-)

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 9:07 AM CST

I started this web page about two weeks ago, but didn't have pictures of Shae to add to the photo album. Thanks to a dear friend of ours, there are pictures on this web page now.

Those of you who knew Shae, knew what a special little boy he was. He was so loving and precious. He always had a smile on his sweet face. His big blue eyes and blonde hair caught everyones attention. God blessed Todd and I with this precious angel and we are forever thankful that God chose us to be his parents.

Please sign his guest book and check out his pictures.

God bless you all,
Dawn

Friday, January 9, 2004 12:13 AM CST

Hello to everyone. I just got this page started in memory of Shae. I wish I would have known of CaringBridge back when Shae first got sick. This is a wonderful way to keep up with what's going on. God has blessed us beyond measure and we are thankful to have been able to be Shae's parents. We plan on downloading some pictures of Shae soon. I also plan on putting pictures of Mason as well. I am sure that Shae would not mind sharing this with his little brother.

Click here to go back to the main page.

----End of History----