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Its been 20 years!!! Still miss you
Tara <Tsstmarie@gmail.com>
Hollywood, Maryland United States - Monday, October 23, 2023 8:32 AM CDT
Its been 20 years!!! Still miss you
Tara <Tsstmarie@gmail.com>
Hollywood, Maryland United States - Monday, October 23, 2023 8:32 AM CDT
J, hard to believe that it's been 10 years since you went to be with Lance. Seems like just yesterday when I was on the phone with you, talking about my youngest son who was in the US Army, serving overseas.
Enjoy your 10 year Angel Birthday. I know you found the happiness up there in the heavens, that alluded you after you lost Lance. Well, no worries about losing him again, my friend. Heaven is an awesome place because of you both.
Rock On In The Heavens, Mother & Son.
I'll see ya when I see ya.
Tim
Mesa, AZ. USA - Thursday, May 24, 2018 7:05 PM CDT
Lance & Justine, Thinking of you both today.
Rock On In The Heavens, Mother & Son.
I'll see ya when I see ya.
Tim L. & Family
Mesa, AZ - Tuesday, October 24, 2017 1:38 AM CDT
Lance and Justine. I was thinking of you both today. Always in my thoughts and prayers. Its been so long since I have been here. I wanted to stop by and let you know I was thinking of you.
Sean Doherty
Freehold, NJ USA - Monday, January 23, 2017 11:57 PM CST
Tara St.Marie, a person's spirit never dies so long as they are remembered. I assure you that there are many people who haven't forgotten Lance and Justine. Lance left his mark here on earth because of the good person he was. Justine also left her mark because of the good person that she was, including the tremendous amount of love and devotion she had for Lance. She was there for him from day one. That support never wavered and even became stronger during Lance's battle with cancer. You never forget the people we've been truly blessed with having known, who have made a difference in this world, not ever.
Tim L. & Family
Mesa, AZ. USA - Wednesday, October 26, 2016 4:52 PM CDT
It's been almost a year since anyone has written on the guest book. I find it hard to beleive that there will come a day when people are no longer remembering Lance and that this guest book will die.
I got married almost a month ago and I couldn't help but wish Lance was with me on that day. It started out a beautiful day but as my dad and I went to walk down the aisle it started to rain and poured during our vows.
Later my friend pulled me aside and said just how it rained on her wedding and was said to be her groom's mother, it rained on mine and was my cousin, Lance. It's hard to believe he wasn't there in the physical sense, but I know without a doubt that he was there in the spiritual sense
Tara St.Marie <Tsstmarie@gmail.com>
Great Mills, MD United States - Saturday, September 24, 2016 4:37 PM CDT
Today is one of those days that you just can't forget about. That's because you can't forget about the two people most associated with this date, especially after reading Lance's CB journal as written by Lance's mother, Justine.
Today marks the 12th anniversary of Lance's passing. It's been over 7 years since Lance's ever so supportive and loving mother, Justine, left this world to be with Lance, up there in the heavens. I wish you were both here, living and enjoying life, happy and carefree. But since you're both not, I have no doubt that the both of you are up there in the heavens, happy, carefree, and spending an eternity with each other, enjoying God's Kingdom. No more pain, no more suffering, no more heartache, just bathed in the goodness of God's love, his warmth, and his grace.
"A person's spirit never dies so long as they are remembered."
Lance & Justine, you are not forgotten and will always be remembered.
Rock On In The Heavens, Mother & Son.
I'll see ya when I see ya.
Tim L. & Family
Mesa, AZ USA - Friday, October 23, 2015 2:43 PM CDT
My sweet nephew and sister, I am thinking of you today. No matter how many years go by, the hurt that comes from missing you never goes away. I miss you both terribly but I find comfort in knowing you are all around me. I love you...
Desiree Avilez <desiree.avilez@gmail.com>
Stonewall, Tx - Monday, February 16, 2015 8:22 AM CST
Justine, I know what a painful day Lance's first angel birthday was for you. The first year after losing someone has a whole lot of firsts, mostly painful memories of what you were doing together on that same date but the year before. It never got easier for you and for that I am truly sorry, my friend. All that is over with now. I do know that you and Lance are okay, up there in the heavens, enjoying all the goodness and love only Heaven can give. Take care of each other, Justine and Lance.
Rock On In The Heavens, Mother & Son.
I'll see ya when I see ya.
Tim L. & Family
Mesa, AZ USA - Thursday, October 23, 2014 7:52 PM CDT
It's coming close to the 6 year mark of Justine's death and I sit here and remember her and Lance. I miss them both and I just hope they have peace and happiness now
Tara S <Tsstmarie@gmail.com>
Norfolk , VA USA - Monday, May 26, 2014 9:53 AM CDT
Hi Lance. I was thinking of you and your mom today. Always keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I know it was 10 years in October. Pest in Peace Lance.
Sean Doherty
Freehold, NJ USA - Sunday, March 2, 2014 11:30 PM CST
For those of you who haven't yet read Lance's Journal, as written by his wonderful mother, Justine, well, I highly recommend that you do so, especially for the year 2003, the last year of Lance's life here on earth. Not only will you discover what a wonderful, loving, caring and giving son and friend Lance was, but also just how loving, caring, giving and unselfish Justine truly was.
In November of 2001, Lance was given a beautiful golden retriever puppy who he named Kelly. Kelly is now 12 years old. Lance really cared about Kelly and his family. On the day before Lance's passing, he was really hurting emotionally and felt so bad that he wouldn't be around to take care of Kelly and how hard his passing would be on his family, especially his Mother. That was Lance, the kind and gentle soul who cared more about others than himself, who really gave so much love and asked for so little in return.
It's been 10 long and lonely years since Lance's passing. This world is certainly not a better place without Lance being here to contribute so much towards making life better. Even worse, there is another big void in this world since the passing of Lance's Mother, Justine, in May of 2008. For those of you who knew Justine, you know as I do, just how deeply the loss of Lance affected her wellbeing. To use Justine's words, she never felt whole again after she lost Lance. No parent wants to outlive their child. Lance was Justine's only child, so, if you're a parent like I am, imagine what it would feel like to lose one of our own.
I hope on this day of all days, that Lance's and Justine's family members are doing okay and are not living life in the dark, but instead, are making the most of each day, because that's what Lance and Justine would want for all of you, they truly would.
In closing, I would like to ask all of you to honor Lance and his Mother by hugging your children and while holding them close, tell them how much you love them. Make each day count because in the blink of an eye, we could lose a loved one and never again get that chance to hold them and tell them just how much we love them and how special they are.
Rock On In The Heavens, Mother & Son.
I'll see ya when I see ya.
Tim & Family
Mesa, AZ. USA - Wednesday, October 23, 2013 8:13 PM CDT
Dear Lance
Its been 10 years and to this day I'm not sure how to handle your pasing. I guess there is no real way of dealing with it, there are just ways of moving on and being able to live with it. it gets easier as the years go but it still aches in my heart to know you're not here anymore. To think of all the things we would have done. I guess we'll never know how close we would have gotten. We will never know whether we would have achieved our dreams together. A lot of people don't understand the relationship we had, myself included. But what I know is that our friendship was real and I will cherish it everyday of my life. I will continue to live life for the both of us. You know, 10 years ago, I woke up around 715 (not knowing you had passed while I peacefully slept) and proceeded on with my day as any normal 13 year old kid would. I never imagined the horrors that waited for me when. I returned home. That dreadful Thursday afternoon, I came home to my mom sitting in the living room crying. When she told me the news, I put the mail down in the hallway and walked up stairs and laid in my bed and cried silently to myself. Selfish that I cried, I know. I should of rejoiced knowing you were free from 4 years of pain. As a 13 year old, I didn't know how to handle the loss of someone so special. I will never forget that day. I sit here 10 years later and I still don't know how to handle the loss of someone so special. I had a plan for us. We were supposed to spend every summer together. We were supposed to graduate high school and explore new things together. We were supposed to celebrate our 21st birthday and congratulate each other as we finished college and started to live our lives. That all changed. It all changed in 1999 when you were diagnosed and it all ceased to exist when you peacefully exited this earth in 2013. I'll never know what it was like to be able to share all those milestones with my best friend and cousin. All I can do now it grieve once a year alone. I know you are in a better place and you are pain free. I know you are watching out for me and keeping me safe. I know you are probably laughing at my mistakes and nodding with my successes. I just wish you were here to do that. Just to hug you once more. Just to say goodbye once more. Just to tell you I love you. I know you hear my thoughts and I know you are with me, but it doesn't help to know I can't see your smiling face. I wake up to the picture of you on your 12 birthday and that the last smile I see when I go to sleep. The pain of losing you will forever ache in my heart but I push on and I live day by day because I'm doing it for us now. I aim to make you proud. Please continue to keep me safe and lead me towards happiness and I promise to live for both of us. You are forever my cousin and best friend. I love you and miss you. Forever loved, forever missed
Tara
Tara S <tsstmarie@gmail.com>
Norfolk, VA USA - Tuesday, October 22, 2013 11:09 PM CDT
This is a wonderful way for hurtimg people to keep in touch.
Patricia Haskins
Cascade, Id. U S A - Thursday, August 29, 2013 8:21 PM CDT
Its gonna be a difficult October this year. Knowing that its been 10 years. Its already been 5 years since your mom has been gone and to know that this October you have been twice as long is mind blowing. i have told many people that on the 23rd of October I will need to be surrounded by the people who mean most becasue i will have a hurt in my heart. Its been almost 10 years and the pain of losing you doesnt seem to ever go away, I just have learned to deal with it. Sorry I missed your 23rd birthday. I am doing everything for the both of us. I miss you bud
Tara S <tsstmarie@gmail.com>
Lexington Park, MD USA - Tuesday, May 28, 2013 4:11 PM CDT
Just dropping by tonight to say how I often think of you both, mother and child, a bond that never breaks. I just wish it never had to end this way. Keep dancing.
Elaine <tomballcharity@aol.com>
UK - Monday, April 29, 2013 6:51 PM CDT
Lance, what many of us wouldn't give for you and your mother to be here, celebrating your 23rd Birhday with you. I have visions of your mother, throwing you a big birthday bash up there in the heavens. I know it was a good one. Happy 23rd Birthday, Lance.
Rock On In The Heavens, Mother & Son.
I'll see ya when I see ya.
Tim & Family
Mesa, AZ. - Thursday, March 14, 2013 6:41 PM CDT
Hi Lance. Thinking of you and your mom today. Today marked a day when all that pain was gone and you could fly free. Take care Lance.
Sean Doherty <Sdoherty125@gmail.com>
Freehold, Nj Usa - Tuesday, October 23, 2012 11:02 PM CDT
I cannot believe that my sweet sister has been gone for 4 years now.. How I miss you and love you but I know that you and Lance are looking down on me from heaven.....
Desiree Avilez <desiree.avilez@gmail.com>
Stonewall, Tx - Thursday, May 24, 2012 7:44 AM CDT
Hey Lance. Late once again. Thinking of you today. Hope your 22nd in heaven with your mom was the best.
Sean Doherty
Freehold, NJ USA - Tuesday, March 27, 2012 5:37 PM CDT
Happy 22nd Birthday, Lance. I know it's a happy one because there's someone up there who is helping you to celebrate.
Rock On In The Heavens, Mother & Son.
I'll see ya when I see ya.
Tim & Family
Mesa, AZ. USA - Wednesday, March 14, 2012 8:30 PM CDT
You know its funny. I sit here late at night and just read through these entries and just sit here thinking. It was back in November, when my grandfather, our grandfather, was living here in my house and Kelly was here too. I just would sit with her every so often and just talk about you and your mom and I felt closer becasue somehow Kelly made you feel closer to me. Your grandmother, Kathy, gave me a framed picture of you when I saw her in December and again I just felt closer. I feel like closure is never and option. There is forever a hole in my heart because we always had then "when" and "what if" going for us. But I feel comforted knowing that there is some kinda healing and dealing with it. Never closure but I healthy way of being ok and moving on. It helps alot when you learn to deal with it and live your life. I just wish Justine could of done it. Well I love you both and I hope heaven is all you dreamed of. I'll see you one day and it will be everything and more. You live it up, and keep and eye on us down here. Much Love!
Tara S <tss-tower@hotmail.com>
Lexington Park, MD USA - Tuesday, February 14, 2012 0:10 AM CST
Well Lance, I am late once again. October 23. Your Mom is probably laughing at me again! Thinking of you and your Mom today. I know that you are both together in heaven and I wanted to let you know I was thinking of you both. Hope God has made Heaven such an extraordinary place for you. Godspeed. Take care of each other.
Sean Doherty <sdoherty125@gmail.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Sunday, October 30, 2011 11:31 PM CDT
J, last night I was looking towards the northeast sky to where Lance's star would be, and couldn't help but think of you both. I miss our friendly talks. How I so wish that life here on earth could have been so much different and better for you after you lost Lance, or even better, for you to not have lost Lance at all. Well, we have no control over what cards we are dealt. For those of us left behind, we are sometimes left holding a pretty lousy hand. So, J, while you're up there in the heavens and when you're not too busy having fun with Lance, could you maybe shuffle the deck and slip in a few good cards when no one is looking, so those of us down here might be able to deal a little better with some of the huge holes left in our hearts. Thanks!(wink)
Rock On In The Heavens, Mother & Son!
I'll See Ya When I See Ya.
Tim & Family
Mesa, AZ - Wednesday, August 3, 2011 8:12 PM CDT
hey buddy,
i miss you so much. I thought about you a lot on your birthday and now that my birthday is getting so close I cant believe we arent doing out 21's together. You were the BEST cousin anyone could ask for and I miss you daily. I miss your mom too, reading her entries and feeling her pain through them are heart wrenching. Its been almost 6 and 7 and a half years and I still cant believe you are gone. I know you are happy but I still miss you. I feel you when I sit in church and I thank you for being there for me. i love you and you are my angel. I'll have a shot for you on April 12... you rock it my man, I know you will
Tara S <tss-tower@hotmail.com>
Lexington Park, MD USA - Friday, March 25, 2011 11:23 AM CDT
Hi Lance. I am going to be away on your birthday so I figured I would leave this message for you now. It's the big 21 for you in heaven. I hope its all that God promises it will be and that you have found happiness without all of that pain and sdadness with your Mom. I think of you both often and your never far from my thoughts. God blass and Gods speed Lance Kowalski.
Sean Doherty <sdoherty125@gmail.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Wednesday, March 9, 2011 10:46 AM CST
Hi Lance and Justine. Just checking in to let you know I was thinking of you both today. It is impossible for the human mind to comprehend where you are but I know in spirit you are with us all. God bless always.
Sean Doherty <sdoherty125@gmail.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Friday, January 28, 2011 3:27 PM CST
Hey Lance...Your Angel day was October 23rd. I was busy hiking the trails in Yosemite and thought of you and your mom being that much closer to you in Toulomne Meadow. I thought of your mom telling me of your love for the Olympic Mountains in your travels by them in your search for a cure. Thinking about you both today.
Sean Doherty <sdoherty125@gmail.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Thursday, November 4, 2010 8:02 AM CDT
I am so deeply sad to realize Justine is gone. Her dedication to her angel Lance moved me to tears. Justine, if you could hear this I would tell you this is not what Lance would have wanted to his beloved mother. He would have wanted to you to go in strength and live for him. To those who suffer, and find themselves wandering though darkness feeling alone and pondering suicide….remember, you are loved. The Lord holds you in the palm of his hand; he offers the strength of shoulders and arms to you in your darkest hour. Your life is precious to so many, do your best to cling to hope, you are not alone!
Lila <Lila@yahoo.com>
Vacaville, CA US - Wednesday, June 9, 2010 6:09 PM CDT
God bless Lance and his family. I know the pain of losing a child. Find comfort in knowledge Lance rests in Gods arms, surrounded by peace and love.
Lindsay <linzele@yahoo.com>
Sacramento, CA US - Wednesday, June 9, 2010 3:36 PM CDT
May the angels comfort you as you and your family continue through life's journey; each and every step you take him with you.
God Bless.
Foster Lovelace <Fsl5500@aol.com>
Redding, CA - Sunday, June 6, 2010 7:22 AM CDT
J, I know you're right where you wanted to be, with Lance. My thoughts of you are all good ones, as I know you are in a better place, with no more pain, only experiencing joy and love with your son, forever.
Rock On In The Heavens, Mother & Son!
I'll See Ya When I See Ya.
Tim & Family
Mesa, AZ - Thursday, May 27, 2010 11:51 PM CDT
How I wish you were here. I miss you my friend.
Maria Hofmann <maria@legaljobnet.com>
Plano, Tx usa - Tuesday, May 25, 2010 3:48 PM CDT
My sweet sister and nephew, I am thinking of you today and missing you so much.... I love you!
Desiree
Desiree Avilez <desiree.avilez@gmail.com>
Stonewall, Tx - Tuesday, May 18, 2010 4:00 PM CDT
Justine,, my beautiful beautiful friend,, I am so sorry so very sorry, I will miss knowing that you were on this earth, but if there is ever an example of a Godly love, It was yours for your son,,, My memory of you will always be of an artist with such a sensitive soul, You are my very special friend ,,, Thank you for your life,,,
My prayers for you family and loved ones,,,
You will always be in my heart,,,,
Love ,
Jac I will see you in HEAVEN
Jac <jackpaint58@yahoo.com>
Farmington Hills, Mi Usa - Wednesday, March 31, 2010 5:38 PM CDT
Happy 20th in heaven Lance. You are with your mom and i know that makes both of you very happy. I missed March 13th too. Isn't that usual for me Justine??? :o). I hope your not laughing. Well today I sat down at my desk here at home and sitting on top of my pile of mail was the disc from Lance's Memorial Service. I had not seen it in a while and there it was out of no where. Thank you for sending the reminder Justine. Take good care of each other.
Sean Doherty <sdoherty125@gmail.com>
Freehold, NJ United States - Wednesday, March 17, 2010 11:29 PM CDT
Happy Big 20th Birthday, Lance, and what an awesome birthday it is, complete with your Mother and other loved ones there to celebrate your special day with you.
Justine, if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that you are happy once again since you went to be with Lance. No more heavy heart, no more long depressing days thinking about what life in the future might have been like with Lance, no more pain of any kind.
Rock On In The Heavens, Lance & Justine.
I'll See Ya When I See Ya!
Tim & Family
Mesa, AZ USA - Saturday, March 13, 2010 11:19 AM CST
HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY Lance! We miss you so much. You're officially a non-teen. We love you!
The Oswald's <jdmmo@comcast.net>
Tualatin, OR USA - Saturday, March 13, 2010 10:31 AM CST
Justine, how I miss you. Heaven has a new Angel, Erik Ludwinski. I hate this disease and how many children it has taken, including you. Miss you sweet girl...
Maria Hofmann <maria@legaljobnet.com>
Plano, Tx USA - Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:27 PM CST
My sweet sister and nephew, I am just thinking of you this morning, I got your signs so I know the two of you are with me. I miss you but thank you for letting me know you are still with me....
Desiree Avilez <desiree1@ktc.com>
Stonewall, Tx USA - Friday, January 22, 2010 9:05 AM CST
Hey buddy,
I still miss you so much. I know that you are with Jesus and so much happier than you would be here. It scares me because sometimes I can't remember the sound of your laugh, and you have the best laugh of anyone I have ever known.
I love you.
-Em
Emily
- Monday, December 7, 2009 0:42 AM CST
My sweet sister, I know this year you were not sad but joyous on the anniversary of Lance's death. I know you are celebrating in heaven.... I thought of you on your birthday and I know that you are happy.... I miss you terribly....
Desiree Avilez <desiree1@ktc.com>
Stonewall, Tx - Tuesday, October 27, 2009 4:29 PM CDT
Hey Lance. I wanted to come by and let you know that I am thinking of you and your Mom today. I know she is so happy to be with you although we are sad that she too is gone from us. Today six years ago you went to heaven and are now at peace, painfree and in the arms of your loving mom. I haven't seen a dragonfly in a while. Maybe you and your Mom can send one when you get a chance. Take care Lance and Justine. Thinking of you always. Pease today and always.
Sean Doherty <sdoherty125@gmail.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Friday, October 23, 2009 4:51 PM CDT
Lance, thinking of you and your mom on your Angel day. I miss you both!
Maria Hofmann <maria@legaljobnet.com>
Plano, Tx USA - Friday, October 23, 2009 1:53 PM CDT
Justine & Lance, a couple of nice things happened this past summer. One day while I was doing yard work I found myself thinking of you both. A few minutes later and what should appear? Yep, a dragonfly. The dragonfly stayed around for a while before flying away. Sure made my day.
Another day this past summer, I was down the street in a local park, test flying a kite that I use when my grandsons come to visit. Okay, so it was really a joyriding flight and not a test one. I'm busted for being a big kid. Anyway, that kite really got up there, I mean close to 1,000 feet as the braided string on my kite winder spool was almost depleted. As I kept looking towards the sky, I couldn't help but think of you both. Soon it came time to pack everything up and head home. While I was doing that a very big dragonfly appeared before me, staying with me until I finished packing everything up and stayed behind me as I headed to the car. I have never seen a dragonfly in Arizona in the more than twenty years I had lived here, until I first spoke with Justine about Lance and the power of the dragonfly.
Justine & Lance, you made a believer out of me and I'll never stop thinking of you both.
Keep On Rocking On In The Heavens. I'll see ya when I see ya.
Tim & Family
Mesa, AZ USA - Saturday, October 17, 2009 7:26 PM CDT
my gestbook will be the best
zaria <townsendzaria@yahoo.com>
high point, nc USA - Sunday, October 4, 2009 2:13 PM CDT
Ii have no moneyand need to build aweb pagw
Brian <GoldPreciousGold@yahoo.com>
Phx, Az USA - Saturday, October 3, 2009 11:59 PM CDT
I saw your imix on itunes and wanted to come to this page. It brougth tears to my eyes. Im 19 and live in orange county. I felt like this page changed me somehow, i dont know what exactly but i feel something in me. I'm sorry for the lose of your son and i pray that someday i see him in heaven when i go up there. I know everyone in heaven is happy which makes me smile because i know its not going to be the end for me. just the beginning.
Josh
CA USA - Wednesday, September 30, 2009 2:07 AM CDT
My swett friend, I miss your voice! Wish I could hug you one more time. Watch over us, Justine......
Maria Hofmann <Maria@legaljobnet.com>
Plano, Tx 75075 - Thursday, August 13, 2009 2:38 PM CDT
Thinking of you.
Ben Griffith
Charlotte, NC 28269 - Monday, July 20, 2009 8:58 PM CDT
Oh my dear sweet sister, I miss you so and I know Lance is taking good care of you... I love you!
Desiree Avilez <desiree1@ktc.com>
Stonewall, Tx USA - Friday, July 17, 2009 10:44 AM CDT
some truly sad but also inspirational stories
liz <lizd_79@hotmail.com>
bristol, uk - Sunday, July 12, 2009 9:49 AM CDT
To all you wonderful people who sign in to Lance's guestbook, I am so sorry to say that our beloved Justine is no longer with us, and hopefully, is with her son in spirit and soul. We miss her but send our prayers and hope she has found peace at last.
Jeanette Andersen <aglny@aol.com>
Pacific Palisades, CA USA - Thursday, May 28, 2009 1:52 PM CDT
i too lost my son at the age of 22 and i can not find a way to let him go,its the hardest pain to ever go through
arlene <anniemedina2006@yahoo.com>
pueblo, co usa - Thursday, May 28, 2009 7:48 AM CDT
I was listening to some music on itune when I came across your tribute to your son Lance. I'm so sorry for your lost. Your tribute to your son is beautiful and I hope that your heart is healing from your lost. God Bless you and your family.
Karmen <ktny2004@aol.com>
New York, NY USA - Friday, May 1, 2009 11:48 PM CDT
I saw your i-mix on i-tunes which led me here. Your i-mixes, like your son, like your life, are pure magic and poetry.
I am deeply moved by your loss. Thanks for pouring your grief into your i-mixes and onto the caringbridge website. They offer comfort, remind me we are not alone in grief and loss; they help me heal another layer of my own losses.
As you are a fellow music lover who finds solace and comfort in the notes and lyrics, I close with the words from the Enya song which reminds me of what those who have gone on want for us:
May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home
Mornie ut li (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alanti (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now
May it be the shadows call
Will fly away
May it be you journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun
Mornie ut li (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alanti (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now
Many blessings.
--d
Denice S.
Houston, TX USA - Saturday, April 11, 2009 9:37 PM CDT
Just saw your tribute on itunes...God Bless you Ma'am...what a brave, inspiring young man Lance was and is.
Mike
Mike <mcerickson3@msn.com>
Phoenix, AZ USA - Friday, March 20, 2009 9:41 PM CDT
Oh my sweet beautiful sister, I know this year you are happy and not heartbroken because youare in heaven with your son. Happy Birthday my beautiful nephew. I miss you both so terribly but I know that you two are rockin out in heaven...... I love you both!!!
Desiree Avilez <desiree1@ktc.com>
Stonewall, Tx United States - Sunday, March 15, 2009 5:10 PM CDT
Happy 19th birthday Lance! We all miss you terribly!
The Oswald's
Jennifer Oswald <jdmmo@comcast.net>
Tualatin, or USA - Saturday, March 14, 2009 0:00 AM CDT
Wow. I am sooooo sad at reading the guestbook. I often come to this website and I'm not sure why. I only found this website about 2 years ago, and I have posted twice I think about what a beautiful boy Lance is.
I am so saddened and shocked to read that Lance's mom has since passed away.
May God totally surround Lance and his mom's family! And know that Lance's mom is HOME with her son.
God Bless your family and praying for your family!
Connected through Lance and Lance's mom, and IN Christ,
Janis Goehner <JanisGoehner@Hotmail.com>
Lakeville, MN USA - Thursday, March 12, 2009 11:40 PM CDT
Lance, Happy 19th Birthday. I know you and your mom are having a big celebration in Heaven. Take care of my little Angel.
Love,
Maria
Maria Hofmann <maria@legaljobnet.com>
Plano, Tx USA - Thursday, March 12, 2009 12:25 AM CDT
Hi Lance. Just came by because I remembered that it was your birthday on March 13th. Your 18th I think. I got the date right this year. Justine you better not be laughing at me. Well Lance you and your Mom together on your birthday. I hope it will be the perfect day in Heaven for you both. But I guess everyday is that way there. Thinking of you both and sending my thoughts and prayers. Happy B-day Lance!
Sean Doherty <sdoherty125@gmail.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Monday, March 9, 2009 5:55 PM CDT
TO ALL OF U WHO HAVE SIGNED I READ BELOW AN ENTRY POSTED FROM JUSTINES MOTHER STATING SHE COMMITTED SUICIDE BY HANGING HERSELF , AS SHE COULD NO LONGER BEAR THE PAIN OF LOSING HER SON... SO SO SAD... HOW IS THE FATHER DOING?
FAITH <FAITH@AOL.COM>
CHICAGO, IL USA - Friday, March 6, 2009 7:39 AM CST
OMG OMG OMG,, THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOO SAD,, I CANNOT IMAGINE WHAT THAT POOR WOMAN WENT THROUGH,, GOD BLESS HER FAMILY,, WHAT ABOUT THE FATHER,, ARE THERE ANY SIBLINGS??????
FAITH
CHICAGO, IL USA - Friday, March 6, 2009 7:35 AM CST
Hello. Like many others, I saw your iMix on iTunes. I was moved by this and I wanted to tell you that you have compiled a beautiful mix of music as a tribute to your beloved son. I am very sorry for your loss and I can not imagine what it must be like for you. It is comforting to see all of these comments here though. There are so many good people out there!
Mike Kempton <mkempton77@gmail.com>
Nashville, TN USA - Wednesday, March 4, 2009 9:15 PM CST
Hi. I saw your list on ITunes and wanted to know more about your son and about you. What a beautiful tribute this is. I work as an adult oncologist and when I think about the people that I respect, I often think of the mothers and fathers, daughters and sons who sit next to their loved ones, day after day, holding their hands, keeping up their spirits, accompanying them through a difficult, banal, confusing and painful journey. Walking, sitting, alongside the sick is a great, great gift and requires great courage. I know I'm a stranger and don't know you, but you have my respect and admiration.
Laura
Chicago, IL USA - Saturday, February 28, 2009 9:29 PM CST
Hey, I saw your itunes playlist, and clicked on your link. I am so sorry for your loss, and upon seeing the pictures and beautiful poems I began to cry, thinking of how unfair it is that people like Lance must leave this world so early. But it is good that you both had faith and you can be assured that Lance is in Heaven right now, looking down on you - always there. God bless you and your family and I will pray for yall and Lance every night.
May
Atlanta, GA 30305 - Monday, February 16, 2009 8:01 PM CST
I saw the playlist on Itunes and i decided to check the website out. My best friends mother had cancer so I only know a little of how much you have gone through. Keep the memories in your head and never let them go, is what i have learned from my life. I was touched by the story and I hope others will be too. I wish you a long and happy life.
Kate
Springfield, MA USA - Wednesday, February 11, 2009 7:19 PM CST
I saw your list on iTunes and went to the site. As the father of a 5 year-old, I was deeply touched by your son's courageous fight.
I wish you all the best and know that both of you will be in my prayers..........
Carlos Cortez <carloscortez4@gmail.com>
Evanston, IL US - Monday, February 9, 2009 11:47 AM CST
Its a few years now that I read your web site for Lance and we started to speak about neuroblastoma and the struggle that Lance experienced fighting the monster. I think of you often Justine and hope that you and Lance have found happiness once again. I am sure you have. I am sad that you are no longer here on Earth Justine but I could tell a while ago that you were longing to be elsewhere. I am sorry I did not see it sooner. Sending big hugs to heaven for you and Lance. Take care my friend. Godspeed.
Sean Doherty <sdoherty125@gmail.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Thursday, January 22, 2009 3:44 PM CST
I listened to your imix on itunes it made me cry. I am so sorry your son passed away. Best wishes to you.
Danielle
Seattle, WA USA - Saturday, January 10, 2009 10:36 PM CST
I saw this site off i-tunes that your mother had set up, and i was deeply touched and moved by the power of a mothers love. I've only had a mere glimpse on the impact that youve had on the world around you, so always know that you are deeply missed. Continue to watch over your friends and your family through this enormous struggle.
To the family, always know that he will be carried in your hearts and continue to be strong for one another.
Allysa
Lynnwood, WA USA - Tuesday, January 6, 2009 1:37 AM CST
I too found your site on itunes and I cried along with everyone else who has visited. I was glad to hear you can be with your son again. You have touched my heart again and again. Best wishes and God Bless.
Jennifer (15 years)
cupertino, ca usa - Monday, January 5, 2009 8:58 PM CST
Hi Daniel and Ashley, congratulations
Brad Copley <onechiman@aol.com>
Davenport , Fl united states - Friday, January 2, 2009 3:12 PM CST
I listened to your imix today and I was really touched. My best friend passed away on her 16th birthday two years ago and listening to the music just made me think of her and life without her. Keep him in your heart and never let go.
Adam Snell <awsnell@bsu.edu>
Morgantown, IN US - Monday, December 29, 2008 12:14 AM CST
saw your imix today. merry christmas and god bless.
joe
WA - Thursday, December 25, 2008 1:24 AM CST
Justine & Lance, I think about the both of you quite often. As sad as it must seem that neither of you are here on earth this Christmas season, I know in my heart that you are both in a good place and celebrating Christmas up in the heavens with Our Lord. Most of all, I know that you both are happy and especially you, Justine, now that you are whole again and with Lance. You two will forever have nothing but all the peace, love and happiness that being up in the heavens can bring. May you both continue to send the signs to those of us who love and continue to think about you. You are always in our hearts and minds.
Lance & Justine, Keep On Rocking On In The Heavens. I'll see ya when I see ya.
Tim & Family
Cactus Patch, AZ. - Wednesday, December 24, 2008 2:49 PM CST
My sweet sister Justine, I know you are happier this Christmas than you have been in the last 5 years because you are spending it with your baby. I am finding it hard to get in the holiday spirit because my heart aches from missing you so much. I love you and Lance with all my heart and soul and I miss you both even more. Merry Christmas my sweet sister, I love you....Desiree
Desiree Avilez <desiree1@ktc.com>
Stonewall, tx - Wednesday, December 24, 2008 11:20 AM CST
I found you through itunes. I pray that God blesses your life and heart. I know that Lance is waiting in Heaven for you one day to join him again. I am someone sick with a disease myself from birth. He fought a courageous battle of illness and kept his smile. Truly a gift from God :) God bless you.
Laura <lauracrump@gmail.com>
- Tuesday, December 9, 2008 5:24 PM CST
Lance and Justine
May your spirits be free as you are both together again in heaven. There is no love greater then a mothers love. I pray that you both have peace and are up there in heaven looking down and helping other suffering families cope. May they find a cure so that no more families have to suffer!!!!!!!!!!!! Rest in peace Justine and Lance.....
stephanie <stephanieklintworth@mail.com>
north muskegon, mi usa - Sunday, December 7, 2008 3:45 PM CST
I listened to your imix today. I wept for you today.
Bob Niemond <bob@mdoan.org>
Los Banos, CA - Saturday, December 6, 2008 0:48 AM CST
I just read the entries below and I feel so foolish as I did not know Mrs. Justine Saylor had left this world to join her son while I wrote my previous entry below. My deepest condolences to you, Mr. and Mrs. Mellen, Mr. Eric Saylors and all of Justine's relatives.
It broke my heart to hear that she could no longer bear the pain and ended her life because of it. I'm so sorry to all of you, but may the thought of Justine and her son being together, in each other's arms finally..bring you hope and strength. Please be strong!!!
Bec H
Sydney, NSW Australia - Friday, November 21, 2008 11:54 AM CST
I chanced upon your iMix titled 'I'll Be Seeing you: Happy 18th Birthday My Angel Lance' and I was so touched by the prologue, I visited the site that was listed in the description. I'm a year younger than your son and I couldn't help but cry as I read through the poems and saw the photos of you and him. Words can't express how truly sorry I am for your loss. Although five years have passed since he has graced the heavens with his presence, I'm sure his death is just as painful to you now as it was then.
Hearing about the strength and courage Lance displayed during his battle with cancer, and even in his last moments on Earth, is so inspirational and encouraging. What a wonderful, brave son you had. The world suffered a terrible loss the day he succumbed to his illness, but the heavens were blessed with a new beautiful soul. I offer you my prayers and condolences and I wish your son a belated happy 18th birthday!
Bec H
Sydney, NSW Australia - Friday, November 21, 2008 11:31 AM CST
i'm so sorry for your loss. i also had a close family member die at a young age. he was my idol and i literally asked myself "what would he do" in each of my daily situations. when he left, i found that the best way of coping was to remember him for all the great things he did in his life it made his passing so much easier, thinking about old memories and laughing and silly things we'd done together. there is still some emptiness at times, but i know he's in a better place now. its a terrible thing to lose a loved one, but from the story and pictures your son seems like a wonderful boy. im sure he loves heaven and looks forward to meeting with you all once again. God bless you.
anon <anon@anon.com>
raleigh, nc 27607 - Monday, November 10, 2008 9:30 PM CST
Dear, sweet Justine,
I have been e-mailing you and posting away messages for you to contact me. Yesterday I googled you only to find you have left this earth. My heart is breaking. I know you are with your dear son, Lance. I know you must be so happy to be with him again. I will forever miss our hours of instant messaging. You touched my life. I love you, my friend.
Candace
mom to Benjamin, Macy and Saylor (named after you)
Candace Mason <candacelmason@msn.com>
East Lansing, MI USA - Tuesday, November 4, 2008 10:35 AM CST
Justine and Lance. I missed Lance's anniversary date. Just like me right Justine. :o) I am sad that you are not here with us Justine. But you are now in heaven with Lance. Take good care of each other and Godspeed to you both. Always in my thoughts and prayers.... forever.
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Monday, November 3, 2008 5:13 PM CST
I'm so sorry for your loss, i came here from the Itunes store and read everything, it's so sad.
Derek
Cumming, GA U.S.A - Saturday, November 1, 2008 10:31 AM CDT
Hi.
Happy B-Day Lance. I'm not sad because you're on a better place, but i almost cried when i saw this, i came here from iTunes Store... :/
Well, sorry, because my english is not so good.
Choco
Turmero, Aragua Venezuela - Monday, October 27, 2008 9:37 PM CDT
My sweet friend, how I miss you! I know you and Lance had a big celebration in Heaven. Give my Nicholas a hug for me. YOu are sooo missed. Love you always,
Maria Hofmann <maria@legaljobnet.com>
Plano, Texas - Monday, October 27, 2008 2:12 PM CDT
Today I am trying not to be sad because I know that this is the best birthday you have had in awhile my sweet sister. I know you and Lance are having a party up in heaven. I am releasing some balloons for you two today. I miss you both. Thank you Justine for sending me the dragonflies..... I love you and miss you both terribly....
Desiree Avilez <desiree1@ktc.com>
Stonewall, tx - Saturday, October 25, 2008 11:57 AM CDT
I miss you.
amanda <koam0503@stcloudstate.edu>
- Friday, October 24, 2008 8:37 PM CDT
Lance,
Happy birthday. I know that you are celebrating with your mom. We miss you both. Give my Angel Nicholas a big hug!
Maria Hofmann <Maria@legaljobnet.com>
Plano, Texas - Thursday, October 23, 2008 9:39 AM CDT
Lance, although today marks 5 years since you earned your angel wings, a date that your Mother never looked forward to and often dreaded because of the painful memories of losing you, it is instead an insignificant date now that Justine, your mother, has joined you up in the heavens and no longer has to look forward to all the painful memories of your passing, no more birthday celebrations or the empty Christmas holidays without you. Justine is now whole again because she is with you, Lance, her wonderful loving son. As painful as it is to see you both go, I find joy in knowing that you are both in a place where there is no more pain for either of you, just a whole lot of peace, love and happiness.
Lance & Justine, Keep On Rocking On In The Heavens. I'll see ya when I see ya.
Tim & Family
- Thursday, October 23, 2008 2:22 AM CDT
I am very sorry to hear of your loss I know there is no greater pain for a mother than to lose a son. Your son sounds like a very courageous young man, when I was young I had a cousin who endured a 5 year battle with cancer and she was very lucky to have survived. I have always found salvation in music ever since I used to listen to old records with my dad in our living room for hours. Eric Clapton was who caught my eye on your playlist, his blues are something I can always identify with, they have always been able to take trouble off my mind.
Mike <mevanoski@sbcglobal.net>
Austin, Tx - Sunday, October 19, 2008 8:21 PM CDT
damn. i was just looking for music and came across this imix. and decided to look through the webpage. and Lance is very couragous to never give up and he is a really strong kid. and his mother like shes so strong and is just there for him even when hes not physically here which is amazing.
matt m <sk8er4life8008@gmail.com>
hermosa beach, CA - Sunday, October 19, 2008 12:28 AM CDT
I came across your mix on i tunes and decided to visit the page. Just know that there are several of us working very very hard to find a cure so that others do not have to go through what lance did. We get up every day and continue the research we will someday find a cure. We will not stop until we do.
Dr. AL
New York , NY USA - Friday, October 17, 2008 10:12 PM CDT
I was searching for music on itunes when I came across you imix. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have two children and I always have this fear of something like this happening to one them. I desperately want to make sense of why this happens, but I never can. The pain and sense of loss is so devasting, I feel myself sufficating because I can not breath. I pray God gives you the peace do make through each and everyday. Thank you for sharing your imixes with us. I wish I could bring you son back, it's not fair! I am so sorry!
Joel Schaible <jschaible@trane.com>
- Tuesday, October 14, 2008 9:04 PM CDT
Lance, live on
Etan Khanal <etankhanal@gaggle.net>
NYC, NY USA - Saturday, October 11, 2008 5:16 PM CDT
i want you all to know who enter lance's website..your message's are so loving..but my daughter justine who created all this committed suicide one may 24th of this year..she was a loving giving person..but could no longer live without her son..i have lost my only child and my only grandchild//please pray for me..i miss this wonderful soul so much
kathy mellen <KJEANMELLEN@AOL.COM>
stayton, or usa - Wednesday, October 8, 2008 4:35 PM CDT
i just came across your playlist on itunes while searching for nice music for my yoga classes. We recently lost the son of a dear neighbor friend this august. He was 18. Someday I hope to share your music with Gabe's mom - i think your selections are courageous beautiful - as is your family. I wish you peace and joy.
Thank you for sharing. gabesfund.org
willa <willaworks@mac.com>
Wenham, MA United States - Monday, September 29, 2008 11:12 AM CDT
hi there. i was on itunes and saw your story and it really touched me. Recently a friend of mines dad died and i just attended the funeral, so i feel you especially right now. the death of someone that is so very close to you is extremely hard to go through, but know that your son is with Jesus in Heaven and you and your family have a very very special angel watching over you. :).Thank you for touching my life with all of your comments, quotes, pictures and things on the website. Its amazing. Stay strong.
Cassie
Kentucky - Sunday, September 28, 2008 1:09 PM CDT
like many others before me, i too came across your imix on itunes. i love the music you chose.
more importantly, after visiting your page it literally brought tears to my eyes. your son is a beautiful boy and is looking down upon all of us from heaven. i am praying for you and your family, god bless.
bridget
mound, mn - Tuesday, September 23, 2008 1:53 AM CDT
Hi there, I came across your iMix on iTunes and it's really helping me get through a painful part of my life, which I'm going through right now... Really appreciated your mix especially because I'm in law school right now and need an outlet so I can focus on studying... I just want to say thanks and commend you for being a person of great courage.
Lastly, I'd like to suggest "Bottom of the Ocean" by Miley Cyrus.
Richelle <richellejerika@gmail.com>
Los Angeles, CA United States - Monday, September 22, 2008 4:11 PM CDT
i came across your story in itunes...........you are truly an amazing woman with super grit and courage.........May God bless you.
Devina <devina_noir@hotmail.com>
Chandigarh, India - Sunday, September 21, 2008 4:02 AM CDT
I came across your iMix on iTunes, and I want to thank you for it. My fifteen-year-old brother passed away suddenly from pneumonia, influenza, and mrsa, and songs have been making it a little less painful. I feel I have to suggest a few to add to your next iMix, however:
"for good" from the musical "wicked"
"some things are meant to be" and "days of plenty" from the musical "little women"
aria
- Thursday, September 18, 2008 4:35 PM CDT
I came across your itunes mix looking for songs to help me deal with the resent deaths of two of my friends. Reading your tribute to Lance was breath taking. You seem like an amazing woman for the strength you show. God bless you.
Lauren
MA - Wednesday, September 17, 2008 10:52 PM CDT
I saw your iMix on iTunes, the fifth one, and couldn't help but write to you and tell you that I think you may be one of the strongest women who I've never met. I'm roughly Lance's age when he passed away, and so hearing this story really just made me imagine, "what if I got cancer?", a question I've never had. I raise my glass to your strength, and in memory of Lance.
Lucy
- Wednesday, September 3, 2008 6:00 PM CDT
just wanted to let u know that u are a very strong woman. I am sincerely sorry for your lose. But then again its not a lose because even though you may not see him hes with you always to protect and guide you. God bless you and I will pray for you tonight. I hope your life is great and i know it can really suck sometimes but u just gotta keep strong and know your son is watching over you.
Matty
- Saturday, August 23, 2008 11:06 PM CDT
On July 15, 2008 someone signed the book as Justine's mom stating she hung herself...is this true? Does anyone know her personally to verify this? I'm so sad to read this! I found her through her Itunes Imixes, listened to all the songs, read her beautiful words in her journal about Lance, and then I read that, and I feel like I know this woman and I'm crushed hearing this. Please someone state if this is true or not! Thanks..
Jackie <snugasabugfleece@comcast.net>
West Hartford, CT USA - Thursday, August 21, 2008 7:43 PM CDT
I know I may be a little late, but I stumbled upon your imix and I just had to say that a lot of people take loved ones for granted and I'd just like to say you've must of been a great mom while Lance was still with us and you'll continue to be. I also have a very loving mother so I know Lance would and is proud to be your son, the same way I'm proud to be my mothers'. Happy Birthday Lance.
Chris Harvey <charvey@vbar.com>
Marrero, La USA - Tuesday, August 19, 2008 2:49 PM CDT
I came across the Imix and I was Brought to Tears, I know what it's like to lose someone but, not a child. May God be with you and comfort you. Everyday must be a stuggle.
He seemed like a really sweet boy.
He's in a better place.
Karisa
Baltimore, Md USA - Saturday, August 16, 2008 10:41 AM CDT
I have 2 little boys, ages 4 and 1 and really don't know what to say. Very moving vision of your son.
Jim
Denver, CO USA - Friday, August 15, 2008 8:56 PM CDT
All I can say is "wow". What a powerful message you are sending out. I did not even know Lance, but I was moved to tears when I saw his tribute webpage. Good friends of mine lost their 7 year old daughter in 2006 to neuroblastoma so I can imagine what your family went through.
Rich Latham
Centreville, VA USA - Friday, August 15, 2008 5:02 PM CDT
I CAME ACROSS THE IMIX TODAY AND WAS BRANG TO TEARS. WHAT I FELT WAS THE LOVE THAT WAS PUT INTO THIS IMIX. IF I CAN, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU FOR THE INSPIRATION YOU HAVE SHOWN ME. I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY. TONIGHT IN PRAYER I WILL WISH LANCE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
JAMES YEVICH <jamesyevich@comcast.net>
CHINA, MI United States - Wednesday, August 13, 2008 5:33 PM CDT
Thinking of you and Lance tongiht Justine. There is a violent thunderstorm going on here. Maybe a big celebration in Heaven of some sort. Look for my Scott and tell him I love him and miss him! God Bless friend.
Love,Ellen
http://www.caringbridge.org/ma/seanhanson
Ellen Hanson <ehanson89@aol.com>
Cape Cod, Ma - Tuesday, August 12, 2008 0:34 AM CDT
hey, I was just looking at some music on itunes when I saw your imix. I usually dont read the desriptions but something about your made me want to see more. You had a very beautiful child. I hope one day you get to see him again. Ive never had to deal with any real lose in my live. I would just like to say how brave I think you are.
thank you
carson
- Friday, August 8, 2008 1:20 PM CDT
I'm so sorry. I was just browsing iTunes when I saw your iMix on the page of one of my favorite artists. I'm going to be 13 soon and I can only imagine how strong your son must have been to live life knowing that he's fighting that sort of major battle. God bless you and keep you in his arms.
Lee Ann
- Wednesday, August 6, 2008 10:54 PM CDT
I understand. My daughter Natalie Rose Jones, passed on February 6, 2008. I came across your website on iTunes looking for songs that express what I've been feeling.It was not coincidence that I found your music. Serendipity prevails. Thank you.
Janelle Timber-Jones <oneheart@helloworld.com>
BROOKLYN PARK, MN - Thursday, July 31, 2008 10:44 PM CDT
My friend, how I miss you!
Maria Hofmann, mommy to Angel Nicholas <maria@legaljobnet.com>
Plano, Tx USA - Tuesday, July 29, 2008 1:55 PM CDT
Im so sorry about what happened. Both my mom and grandmother had cancer, my mom died of it, i know what you are feeling, im so sorry.
Jack Sampson <jcps@mac.com>
- Monday, July 21, 2008 0:23 AM CDT
FOR ALL OF YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE WHO ARE SIGNING THIS GUEST BOOK..I HAVE VERY BAD NEWS..MY DAUGHTER JUSTINE SAYLORS HUNG HERSELF ON MAY 24TH..SHE COULD NO LONGER STAND THE THOUGHT OF NOT BEING WITH HER SON LANCE..IF YOU HAVE ANY CONDOLENCES TO SAY SEND THEM TO ME AT KJEANMELLEN@AOL.COM..PLEASE PRAY FOR ME
KATHY MELLEN MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER <KJEANMELLEN@AOL.COM>
STAYTON, OR USA - Tuesday, July 15, 2008 9:32 PM CDT
You have a beautiful son. Your loss must be the most unbearable thing in the world. but he is happy where he is now, im sure.
god bless
caren
rochester, NY United States - Saturday, July 12, 2008 9:06 PM CDT
I found this site through iTunes. Thank you. I am the mother of two sons, aged seven and nine, and thanks to you and your beautiful tribute to Lance, I am reminded - as we often need to be - to treasure every moment. I hope things are getting better with you. My heart goes out to you.
M
Princeton , NJ USA - Thursday, July 10, 2008 11:15 AM CDT
I found you through your itunes mix- I am so sorry. What a beautiful boy.
alison <alikatzbach@yahoo.com>
- Sunday, July 6, 2008 9:40 PM CDT
I was listening to your iMix, and i decided to visit the website. I do not cry, but for some reason, tears just kept rolling down my cheeks at the pictures and songs listed. I am so so sorry for your loss. I am 18 years old. My birthday is March 28, 1990. I can't imagine your pain, but i feel pain too because your son's birthday is so close to mine, which would make him 18 if he were still alive. My prayers go out to you and your family; Your son seemed like a really nice kid. I wish i could have gotten to meet him.
Katie Racicot <badgreenchickenz@cox.net>
Virginia Beach, VA US - Sunday, July 6, 2008 7:49 PM CDT
Dear Kathy, As a Mother who has buried both of her only children, I know it is you who my heart breaks for at this time. I didn't have the pleasure of knowing Justine. I have a neice who is name Justine and I love her dearly. I was raised in CA and now live in VA. So know your heart too is as broken as any other mothers who has lost her children. Hugs to you and many prayers. Love N Hugs Pat McDougle
Pat McDougle <BRATMUS@AOL.COM>
Bealeton, VA USA - Friday, July 4, 2008 12:11 AM CDT
Justine I only knew you thru the emails you sent. So full of love and caring for everyone. No one knew the pain you were dealing with. May you finally find peace with your beautiful angel Lance.
Give my angel a hug and kiss for me too.
Hugs and Love,
Peace,
Kathie & Angel Chrissie
Kathie C
Germantown, Md - Friday, July 4, 2008 9:50 AM CDT
Justine and Lance, tears. i know you are both at peace. Justine , i know the pain you have and i guess we all feel the same way. i want you to knwo im lighting a candle for you both. together forever now. tears. i dont know what to say other than I LOVE YOU BOTH so much. lindajeysmom
linda SCARPA <lindajoeysmom@aol.com>
staten Island , nY usa - Friday, July 4, 2008 9:44 AM CDT
I came to this site, like so many others here, through an iTunes playlist. Tears are running down my face as I type this. What kind of God would want to write story as sad as this one? There's nothing fair or good in it, and there's no lesson to be learned that justifies such heartbreaking loss.
Ken Scar
Buena Vista, CO USA - Friday, July 4, 2008 1:35 AM CDT
I saw the selection of music on itunes and had to check out this web site. I was sad to see all the poems and pictures for such a sweet boy. I was even sadder to see that his mom committed suicide. I hope the whole family can make it through together. Thank you for the blessing of this web site. May God bless you and keep you in his loving arms.
Someone who's counting their blessings tonight! <rocknjeans@yahoo.com>
Upland, CA United States - Thursday, July 3, 2008 6:01 PM CDT
Justine....You are now together with your precious Angel Lance. May you rest in peace and I will miss you so very much....Love, Faye
Faye Solod
Boynton Beach, Fl. USA - Tuesday, July 1, 2008 6:37 PM CDT
My sweet sister... I still can't believe that you are gone. I miss you so much and I wish that I could hear your voice just one more time. I know you and Lance are together, dancing on the clouds and that gives me some peace. I will continue to think of you and Lance everytime I see a dragonfly in my garden. I love you my sweet sister...
Desiree Avilez <desiree1@ktc.com>
Stonewall, TX - Tuesday, July 1, 2008 3:56 PM CDT
Justine, I will remember you and I will remember Lance. Rest in peace now sweet angel......
Susan Milam
FL USA - Monday, June 30, 2008 4:08 PM CDT
TO ALL OF YOU WHO CONTINUE TO SUMMIT YOUR LOVING THOUGHTS..I AM SORRY TO INFORM YOU THAT JUSTINE COMMITTED SUICIDE ON MAY 24TH..SHE COULD NO LONGER LIVE WITHOUT HER SON..SHE GAVE SO MUCH TO OTHERS..KEEP HER AND I IN YOUR PRAYERS..SUICIDE IS HORRIBLE..SHE LOVE ALL HUMAN BEINGS..ANIMALS, SO GENTLE WITH..SHE WAS A GREAT HUMAN BEING AND HER MUSIC LIST AND HER ARTWORK LIVE ON..GOD BLESS YOU ALL...
KATHY MELLEN, HER MOTHER <KJEANMELLEN@AOL.COM>
STAYTON, OR USA - Thursday, June 26, 2008 12:06 AM CDT
Happy Birthday Lance! I know you're having a blast in heaven! the big 1-8!! You deserve to be so happy, your mother has so much love for you and its heartbreaking to see such a deserving person gone. I'm only 16 and i could only hope to touch as many lives as you did in your time on earth..Happy Birthday!
Heather Marie Souza <heather_souza@santacatalina.org>
Oakland, CA USA - Thursday, June 19, 2008 1:21 AM CDT
I came across your playlist for Lance's 18th Birthday, and I had to visit your webpage. I have 3 sons myself, 6, 4 & 2, and I cannot imagine losing them. I am so sorry for you loss...thank you for the nice selection of music.
Tracie
San Antonio, TX US - Tuesday, June 17, 2008 10:25 PM CDT
I am so sorry for the loss of yet another family member. Last night I spent hours between the itunes songs and the reading of all of the letters sent to your daughter and angel lance. I find myself back tonight to finish reading and see your letter. please know you are in my prayers as well as the rest of your family. I hope your daughter has found peace with Lance. you, too, will see them one day. Until then may God help you through this difficult time.
kathy gomez <akgomez@mac.com>
howell, nj usa - Tuesday, June 17, 2008 7:05 PM CDT
I MISS MY DAUGHTER SO MUCH..I CRY ALOT..THE PAIN IS AWFUL..PRAY FOR ME PLEASE..I AM HER MOTHER
KATHY MELLEN <KJEANMELLEN@AOL.COM>
STATON , OR - Monday, June 16, 2008 11:45 AM CDT
To all the mothers and fathers with sick children, please read this letter to give you strength:> >
> > Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating
> > room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When
> > can
> > I see him?"
> >
> > The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't
> > make
> > it."
> >
> > Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any
> > more?
> > Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"
> >
> > The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of
> > the
> > nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the
> > university."
> >
> > Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to son.
> > She
> > ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. "Would you
> > like a
> > lock of his hair?" the nurse asked.
> >
> > Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a
> > plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's
> > idea to
> > donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help
> > somebody
> > else. " I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it
> > after
> > I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with
> > his
> > Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of
> > someone
> > else.. Always wanting to help others if he could."
> >
> > Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after
> > spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's
> > belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was
> > difficult.
> > It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's
> > belongings,
> > and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She
> > started
> > placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room
> > exactly
> > where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging
> > his
> > pillow, cried herself to sleep.
> >
> > It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed
> > was a
> > folded letter. The letter said:
> > "Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will
> > ever
> > forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE
> > YOU... I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we
> > will
> > see each other again.
> > Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely,
> > that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with.
> > But, if
> > you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same
> > things
> > us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.
> > Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and
> > Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it
> > will
> > take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to
> > watch
> > them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his
> > pictures.
> > Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see
> > GOD!
> > And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I
> > was
> > somebody important.. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a
> > letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that
> > wasn't
> > allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own
> > personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of
> > the
> > angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to
> > give
> > you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when
> > I
> > needed him?' "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son
> > Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His
> > children..
> >
> > Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you.
> > To
> > everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I
> > have
> > to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in
> > the
> > Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper.
> > I'm,
> > sure the food will be great.
> >
> > Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all
> > gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God
> > couldn't
> > stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of
> > Mercy
> > to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
> >
> > Signed with Love from: God, Jesus & Me.
EMBRACE LIFE
Jeanette <aglny@aol.com>
Pacific Palisades, CA - Thursday, June 12, 2008 11:01 PM CDT
My name is Mary, or Wilmer as she called me. I am one of Justine's best friends from school. When she moved to Oregon, we lost touch, but over the years, managed to run into each other, we knew we would always, forever, run into each other. I got an email from a mutual friend the other day, she was gone. I didnt know, we hadnt spoken, she wasnt really living since Lance left, only exisiting. I hope, I pray, she went where she planned.
I will miss you Homer. Til we meet another Tequila Sunrise.... Wil
Im asking for anyone with information about her last days to please contact me
mary <rufntuftmom@msn.com>
monterey, ca usa - Wednesday, June 11, 2008 9:59 PM CDT
I know how hard it is to lose a loved one, you will always be in my prayers.
Karly
- Sunday, June 8, 2008 5:47 PM CDT
I read the obituary for Justine in our local newspaper this week, the Palisadian Post. I went to school with Justine at Paul Revere Jr. High and later, at Palisades High. We were in the same graduating class, although we didn't know each other. Still, she was familiar to me if only because we both went to the same schools. I remember Justine as being a shining California girl -- a beautiful girl with long hair that I'd see across the center quad at Pali or walking to gym at Paul Revere. I was so shocked to read her obituary, though, that I felt compelled to "search" for her online. That's how I came across this web site and her online journal. It was hard for me to put my memory of the carefree California girl together with the tremendous suffering Justine went through in the last years of her life. I have a son, too. He is 11 now, an only child. I can't put myself in Justine's place with all that she endured with Lance, but I admire her strength and bravery, even in death. Her story in her journal has truly affected me. She appears honest and caring, so absolutely available for so many people -- not just Lance, but other families of neuroblastoma patients as well as her own family in Oregon and California. Even though Lance was dying, she still created a rich life for him. It made me realize that every moment in my life should be a special memory, too -- a moment of importance to cherish, not something to be shrugged away. Her pain after Lance's death is palable and I can only imagine the pain that her death has caused for her own mother and husband, her step-daughter. Last night, I looked her up in my Palisades High yearbook. Even though her life had changed so much since I knew her, I liked seeing her picture again with the big friendly smile. She has made a lasting impression on me here, and I wanted to mark that in this guestbook, if only to let her family know. I took notice -- and other people have, too. That seems like an important legacy to me, something dear and important that she left behind.
Gaylen
Pacific Palisades, CA USA - Saturday, June 7, 2008 6:30 PM CDT
I know personally how much the loss of a child can affect a family forever. Stay strong, and remember you will see him again, and he will be waiting for you, with a goofy smile and a hug.
Erin
- Friday, June 6, 2008 9:04 PM CDT
My heart is breaking, life is fragile, live everyday as it was your last..
HannaLise
Apex, NC USA - Friday, June 6, 2008 8:30 PM CDT
My husband passed away two years ago from liver/pancreatic cancer. He would have turned 40 next week. I have purchased a lot of songs from your iMixes on iTunes. Your Caringbridge site is beautiful. Lance had such joy in his eyes. It is obvious how much he was loved. His life here on earth was too short, but it had tremendous meaning and purpose. I hope your heart continues to heal. Lance would want you to find peace.
Jen
- Thursday, June 5, 2008 6:21 PM CDT
I was looking on iTunes for a couple of songs, just messing around. I was kind of interested to check out the page. He is so beautiful! Sometimes, we take for granted what we have. I, with no medical illnesses, do forget about my good health and I should be more grateful. This page made me cry, and I feel honored to sign his guestbook. He was so strong. I don't even know him and I just feel so proud of him.
God Bless,
Ty [15 years]
Innocent Bystander
USA - Wednesday, June 4, 2008 12:42 AM CDT
Hello my name is stone hood i am a freshman basketball player at d.c.c highschool and one of my goals is to help kids all around the united states and i read your sons story and i just wanted to say thank you for doing this for your son you are an amazing person and an amazing parent and you have touched my heart thank you
Stone Hood <kimhood@bigearinc.com>
springs, col united states - Monday, June 2, 2008 7:33 PM CDT
Justine and Lance my angels up above
showering me with endless love
giving me strength to persevere
lighting up my whole atmosphere
for everynight I'll always pray
that I will see you both one day
Justine and Lance reunited
in this place god provided
as tears of sorrow run down my face
I'm happy to know they're in a better place
hugging eachother so happy together
inseparable for now and forever
Justine and Lance you were so kind
the memories will never leave my mind
happiness and joy you gave to everyone
like the rays of our powerful sun
two stars shining so bright
for all to see on a dark moonless night
Justine and Lance I'll try not to cry
I wish I could hold you both
and say good bye
Love , Tommy
Tommy (cousin to Justine and Lance) <metalmaster616@aol.com>
Pahrump, NV - Monday, June 2, 2008 2:32 AM CDT
Dear Kathy and Bob, Family and Friends of Justine:
All of us here on Bovey Street are shocked and saddened by Justine's untimely death. She will be remembered as "just one of the kids" growing up on Bovey Street with her grandmother, Lorraine who showed her love, affection and direction. Justine is remembered as the Southern California All American beauty with the radiant smile and infectious personality. Bill and I were honored to be at hers and Dans wedding where she dazzled everyone...looking so gorgeous in her wedding gown. It was such a beautiful day for her. I am so sad that she could not go forward with her life as she had so much to offer. But I cannot begin to understand the pain she felt as I did not "walk in her shoes." Please know that I and my family will remember her and miss her. She felt safe and happy here on Bovey Street. I am grateful we could give her that. My deepest sympathies and tears are with you all. Love, Jackie and Bill
Jackie Casey <missjackiec@sbcglobal.net>
Tarzana, CA USA - Saturday, May 31, 2008 7:36 PM CDT
Dear Justine,
Remember Chicago and the really fun time we had? We will miss you this year, but be assured we will toast you with Red Bull and Vodka, and we will never forget your mischievous nature, and your heart of gold.
Shannon: mom to Nick Snow <snows@nicksnow.com>
Nevada City, CA usa - Saturday, May 31, 2008 1:55 PM CDT
Dear Justine,
I was on itunes and i came across your playlist for your son. Such a beautiful playlist, and a wonderful website to remember Lance. Happy Birthday Lance in Heaven.<3
Noelle Roy
Glen Rock, NJ United States - Saturday, May 31, 2008 8:18 AM CDT
Justine,
I didn't know you, but wish I had. As a parent who knows what it's like to care for a child with a major illness, my heart aches for all you suffered and endured. After reading a number of things written by you and about you, I feel like I know you to some degree, and I know a couple of things for sure. You were a very gifted woman, and Lance was every bit as blessed to have you for his mother as you were to have him for a son. I only hope you are both out of pain and that wherever you are in the next life, you find the peace that eluded you in this one.
Blake Adams <badamsaloha@hotmail.com>
Aloha, OR USA - Friday, May 30, 2008 11:18 PM CDT
To all who knew and loved Justine. She has a large and caring family who loved and and no words can express this loss and the heartbreak we all feel. She was a giving, beautiful, creative woman. She lost her son Lance, as you know. Her family is devastated. She is with her son now, at peace and in the love of the light eternal. She is survived by her parents Kathy and Bob Mellen, her husband Eric Saylors, her halfsister, Desi, her cousins Chris Conway, Tommy Boatman, Robert S. Andersen, her aunts Jeanette and Judy Andersen, Susan Weston, her uncle Robert G. Andersen. Additionally her Grandmother Warren and her Aunt Lana. Justine was a glow of light on this planet, it may have gotten dimmer for a short while, but she will leave a profound impact on those she knew and loved. Many people did not know her gift for drawing and portraits, and creating music. You can find Justine Saylors/Washington Post, for an endearing article on her iTunes for lance, by going to GOOGLE.COM. I am trying to regenerate her webpage and will post it, when I have that information. Bless you all.Thank you for all your caring notes, it means so much at this time. Her memorial is tomorrow, Saturday, at 1:00PM, May in Tigard, Oregon.
Aunt Judy
Judy Andersen <mor4mony@aol.com>
Pacific Palisades, - Friday, May 30, 2008 5:02 PM CDT
My sweet Justine
I am so overcome with grief that you are gone. I am so sorry I lost your email address and wish so much I had followed it up. I still cannot believe you are gone sweetheart and so saddened that we never ever got to meet due to the distance between our two countries.
Love you always and I will never ever forget the love you poured out to everyone including myself when a dear one won their race to heaven.
Give my dear little Bianca a humungous hug for me and keep her safe until we all meet
with much love and many many tears
Pauly :(
Pauly lemon <sazza1291@yahoo.com.au>
Mount Gambier, SA Australia - Friday, May 30, 2008 10:19 AM CDT
A fundraising page in memory of Justine has been set up to accept donations towards the families chosen charity which is Children's Cancer Association. Please visit http://www.firstgiving.com/justinesaylors. Thank you from Elaine Ball, another angel mother.
Elaine Ball <tomballcharity@ao.com>
UK - Friday, May 30, 2008 6:10 AM CDT
Sweet Justine is in the light,
dancing with the stars and sun,
Sliding on the moonbeams,
Always sweet, so full of joy,
until you lost your little boy,
Sadness was too great,
You have chosen another fate,
I hope to see you in my dreams,
One night should you come to me,
Until that time you chose to be,
With Lance, in eternity,
There is no way to say goodbye,
You are every star in my sky.
My heart is filled with so much love,
Sweet child, I still love you so very much.
I miss you now more than I can say,
Every moment, every day.
Aunt Jude <mor4mony@aol.com>
Pacific Palisades, CA USA - Thursday, May 29, 2008 7:48 PM CDT
I am so sad to hear of Justine's death. She was very kind to me when my son was diagnosed, and she sent me some lovely poems and emails when he relapsed and later when he died. I never had the honor of meeting her or her wonderful son, but her love and devotion to him came out in her words, poems, and drawings. I will not forget either of them. Rest in peace Justine. My deepest condolences to her family and friends.
Aimee, mom to Zachary and my Angel Kendall, www.caringbridge.com/ny/kendall <aimee1@optonline.net>
Long Island, NY USA - Thursday, May 29, 2008 7:43 PM CDT
To the Family of Justine and Lance,
My heart goes out to you all during this difficult time. As a mother who has recently lost a son to the Nasty Beast Neuroblastoma, I can understand the pain that Justine felt. I have that same pain, yet I also have 4 other wonderful sons that I have to be strong for now. I pray that Justine found her peace that she was searching for the past 5 years that Lance has been gone. I know that she is in Heaven laughing it up with Lance and all the other Angel's including my son Kody...
Thank you for sharing with us all!
May you find Peace with God...
hugs n prayers~ Kristi Cannon Proud mom to Angel Kody Cannon dx. Stage IV high risk Neuroblastoma Cancer at 14months old on 05-17-05. Joined God's Heavenly Angel's at 3yrs.,4months, and 13days old on 07-29-07, Mom to Cole-14,Dalton-12,Wyatt-9 and Morgan-5 and wife to Chris...
www.caringbridge.org/visit/kodycannon
Kristi Cannon <clcannon93@yahoo.com>
La Grande, OR USA - Thursday, May 29, 2008 2:04 PM CDT
Justine, We will miss you very much but somehow I also find joy that you will be with Lance now. You will be in one another's arms once again.
I will always remember our time laughing so hard with the other angel moms during the wee hours of the night at the conference here in Chicago. It was laughter that only another angel parent could understand. It relieved our sadness if only for a little while. It brought us together as one family. I'm sorry you hurt so much and I hope you now have peace.
Pat Tallungan <ptall@mindspring.com>
Bloomingdale, IL - Thursday, May 29, 2008 11:20 AM CDT
Goodbye Justine.
Billy <williamheinzman@hotmail.com>
Los Angeles, CA USA - Thursday, May 29, 2008 10:03 AM CDT
A beautiful website and a wonderful tribute to two souls now joined forever.
May they and all who are dear to them know the peace, love, and joy that is so deserved in this human existence for a brief but incredible span of time on earth.
Love to you all
Keith (cousin to Jeanette, Judy, Susie, Kathy and Bob
West Sacramento, Ca USA - Wednesday, May 28, 2008 9:42 PM CDT
I did not know Justine or Lance. I do know Justine's Aunts Jeannette and Judith. My sadness for them is deep, I am a mother and understand the depth of the pain in losing a child. There is no cure for that pain. I am so very sorry that Justine had to live with this and now hopefully she and Lance have been reunited so that they can both be in peace.
Diane Stone <stoneex8@aol.com>
Pacific Palisades, CA USA - Wednesday, May 28, 2008 6:51 PM CDT
My Darling Justine, In your love for Lance, you knew the pain of too much happiness. He was yet another angel who tread the earth for way too short time. I understand that if you can't have the love you want and need, no other love can fill that void. My only regret, and granted, it is a rather selfish one, is that we did not share more time together, yet I'm blessed for the time we did have and hold the memories close to my heart. I always loved you with all my heart but probably didn't tell you that enough. I wished I could have done more for you to make life easier on all fronts. I have one precious picture of us together from 1968 and have always kept it with me, wherever I go and shall continue to do so. You were such a little doll and a georgeous woman, so creative, so talented. I pray to God that leaving all of us who love you so much, that, at the very least, God has put you and Lance together again. Maybe we will be blessed with your spirit at your Memorial, please give us a sign if you can.
As you left this earth, Ricci heard you when you said goodbye Saturday. He didn't understand why you came in and out of his mind for no reason until he heard the news. When his mother told him, he let out a gasp and told his mother that you flashed in and out of his mind that day after 20 years for no reason. Somehow, I know that was your way of saying goodbye. Now you are in his heart and his mother's too.
If weeping could bring you back, I'd never stop. There won't be a dry eye in the house. Oh to turn back time precious one, you didn't understand how special you were. You were often this great ray of sunshine in an overcast climate, you were fresh, bright, so cute and happy, you made people happy.
You will live in our hearts forever and I shall always miss your beautiful face and spirit. May you rest in peace and have the joy you deserve. Someday, we'll meet again under better circumstances and we'll all be happy together, as it always should have been. I love you deeply.
Your Aunt Jeanette
Jeanette Andersen <aglny@aol.com>
Pacific Palisades, CA USA - Wednesday, May 28, 2008 5:17 PM CDT
Little Justine my Little Star...I am saddened beyond words that Ill never hear YOu say soooooooosie on the phone of which I reply Justineeeeeeee...Is that you justine and then shed say yes, is that you soooooooooooosie! She is my little star...thats what I called her my SHinning star..now and forever......My heart is in a million pieces now....I pray youre where you wanted to be with your little Lancie.
Love forever and ever....auntie Susie
Auntie Sue
Pahrump, nv Usa - Wednesday, May 28, 2008 4:39 PM CDT
I am so sorry for your loss. I just found out and I am so sad that Justine is no long with us here on earth. I know that is she with Lance right now and she is happy once again. But we will miss her here with us. Justine please give Shawn a big hug and kiss for me.
Love Mel
Melanie Disney Mom to Angel Shawn 9-15-97-1-11-03 <dizkidz2001@yahoo.com (caringbridge..org/ne/shawndisney)>
Alexandria, NE USA - Wednesday, May 28, 2008 2:52 PM CDT
I honestly don't know what to say...I came across this website for Lance throught iTunes, I myself was looking for songs to create an iMix in relation to the many different emotions caused and left behind by cancer. I think music has been my way of expressing what some have told me I haven't expressed since losing my mother to cancer in 2005. I found Justine's iMixes just tonight and was very grateful to finally find some music, all in one place, that I could relate to. I am very saddened and shocked to hear of Justine's passing, by looking through this website for Lance it is very obvious that she adored her son Lance very much. I came to visit his website to honor him and put a picture to his name, he was truly a remarkable young man, and Justine a devoted mother. Although I lost my mother to cancer I cannot fully understand her pain, for losing my children is something that I simply cannot imagine. I didn't know the family but I can honestly say that you will be in my heart forevermore. My deepest condolences to all of Justine and Lance's family and friends. May God be with you always during this difficult time, you will be in my prayers always.
Elisa T. Balderas <balderasfam4@sbcglobal.net>
Pflugerville, Tx USA - Wednesday, May 28, 2008 1:12 AM CDT
I have been thinking most of the day about what to say here and the two best words are shocked and saddened. Justine loved Lance so much. She grieved deeply for her loss. We used to email each other after i got to know her and even had a few telephone conversations. I remembered her saying once that "with my luck I will end up living til I am 85". That indeed shows the true depth of her loss. I often worried about her and in the last six months attempted to talk to her and called her several times often leaving messages. She did not return calls but did send an email every once in a while. It was Justine who had sparked my interest in some fundraising for neuroblastoma cancer research. Justine posted may imixes on the itunes site with songs that she played in rememberance of Lance, even catching the attention of a Washington Post writer who later wrote an article about her itunes posts. She loved the Olympic Mountain area as did lance and she talked of their visit there more than a few times. It was a connection between us as I had visited that area in 2001 and a chance mention brought forth stories of their love for the area. There is no doubt that her grief finally overtook Justine. She rests with god now and her beloved Lance. God Bless and Godspeed Justine. Watch over us all and help us through the most difficult times. Peace today and always my friend....
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Tuesday, May 27, 2008 3:58 PM CDT
JUSTINE'S DEATH
It is with profound sadness that I let know friends of Justine and visitors to this site that Justine took her life on May 24. She will be sadly missed by those who loved her and were inspired by her.
It is asked that any memorials in her memory be sent to the the Children's Cancer Association in Portland Oregon. Any wishes and condolences can be posted here and would likely be appreciated by her family, especially her mother, Kathy Mellen, stepfather Bob Mellen and husband Eric Saylors.
Greg Mellen <gregmellen@gmail.com>
Long Beach, ca usa - Tuesday, May 27, 2008 2:33 PM CDT
May the grace in which Justine walked, never ever be forgotten. Oh I know she struggled, and I also know, that it was getting harder and harder to get up. A good deal of her heart was taken with her, when she lost her boy, the beautiful lance. When I first came in search of help, Justine was one who came offering friendship and wisdom about the way things work. To say that Justine did not have strong opinions would be a lie, Justine believed that the drug companies were less effective at bringing cure and
more effective at making money. I cannot know if Justine's beliefs were true, but, I do know that she felt that her Lance was better and more healthy when he used natural medicines. Justine loved so deeply, she wanted to be loved so deeply in return. It breaks my heart to think that so many of us loved her dearly, but, somehow it wasn't enough.
I don't know if she couldn't feel it but oh how my heart wishes she had because there are many who love her, and respect her and shall sorely, sorely miss her. I am shocked to the core of my being that she is gone. But, I
know that she could never have found joy here again without her baby lance. May the Lord bless and keep you. To her family I wish deepest sympathies and sorrow. May your healing be gentle and may love surround you all. love carrie
Carrie <Oakhill@soonet.ca>
SSMarie, Ont Canada - Tuesday, May 27, 2008 9:30 AM CDT
To Justine's family and friends: my deepest condolences to you. I wanted to let you know that Justine's music mixes were particularly helpful to me as I grieved the loss of my daughter, Natalie, to neuroblastoma. Justine had obvious gifts in music, art, words. She will be missed. She will be remembered, along with her precious son, Lance.
Diane Pawelski
Lake View, NY - Tuesday, May 27, 2008 8:28 AM CDT
I was shocked when I got the news - but comforted that you will be reunited with Lance.
You will be missed by many - you helped bring so much comfort to so many.
I will always remember the friendship and kind words you offered despite you're own grief - you are a shining star
Please look out for my boy - Until we all meet again
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Kelly Rendall <kelly@beebo.info>
Teignmouth, Devon United Kingdom - Tuesday, May 27, 2008 4:40 AM CDT
To Justine's family, I'm so very sorry for yet another loss for your family. I know that she is at Peace now and with Lance. She did so much to help and comfort others, and to work to raise awareness and funding for childhood cancer, so that another family would not have to be put through this pain. Justine and Lance will not be forgotten. Praying for Peace and Comfort for your family now and in the days ahead. God Bless,
Love Ellen Hanson~Sean's mom
http://www.caringbridge.org/ma/seanhanson
Ellen Hanson <ehanson89@aol.com>
Cape Cod, Ma - Tuesday, May 27, 2008 1:43 AM CDT
I will miss Justine and Lance forever
I hope they're reunited in a special place
I have so many great memories from my times with them
I can remember Justine giving Lance and I a bath I must've been 5 or 6 and Lance 2 or 3 Lance and I were chasing eachother around in our "lil' tike" cars and we ordered two big pinapple pizzas!
I can remember we went to a Lake Lance and I went swimming the water was freezing but we still swam anyways
I remember Lance and I staying up late playing games
I can remember when I went up to Oregon after Lance had been diagnosed ..Justine had researched the internet and found some kind of natural treatment for Lance and was making the capsules for him everynight he was feeling great when I was there we went to the Lake quite a bit and swam there Justine would make us sandwiches they had a party at their place and were watching a movie in the backyard on the projector it was awesome there was lots of people and food Lance and I got a-hold of a case of energy drinks and we each drank about 6 of them I think we were bouncing off the walls! Justine would sit next to Lance everynight hold him in his bed and talk to him I would talk to Lance everynight before we went to sleep sometimes he would bring up his fight with cancer he was so strong! he always said "when I kick this cancer..."
he was an awesome cousin and very inspirational to me he had an amazing perspective on things and a positive outlook on everything
Justine was an amazing mom Lance was everything to her and she did everything she could in Lances' battle with cancer she always had a smile as did Lance even through hard times and she made me feel very welcome at their house I didn't want to fly back I had tears when I was flying back from Oregon I later found out I could've stayed longer
When I checked this page awhile back and saw how many people were touched by Lance's story I couldn't believe it I started crying
words cannot describe how much I love you both You will both have a place in my heart forever
Tommy <metalmaster616@aol.com>
pahrump, NV - Tuesday, May 27, 2008 1:12 AM CDT
My sweet sister, I will miss you so much. My heart is broken and I am overcome with grief.I know that you are in heaven with Lance and that eases my pain a little. I will never forget you and I will cherish my memories of you. May GOD bless you my sweet sister...I will love you eternally...
Desiree Avilez <desiree1@ktc.com>
Stonewall, TX - Monday, May 26, 2008 7:46 PM CDT
Justine, there will be no more sadness for you my friend now that you have Lance back in your arms. May peace be with you.
Kath (Aunt Kath to Angel Michaela) <bellaluca@dejazzd.com>
Lancaster, PA USA - Monday, May 26, 2008 6:38 PM CDT
Dear Justine.. I'll write to you like I write to my daughter... Your gifts to this life will be missed, but you deserve the peace life didn't give you after Lance passed away... I hope you will find my baby, Michaela, and give her a big squeeze from her mom.
Kim Mease <akakaysma@comcast.net>
Lancaster, PA USA - Monday, May 26, 2008 5:51 PM CDT
In memory of a wonderful mother whose only crime was love. All us Angel Parents can understand the unbearable pain that we suffer without our children. Justine and Lance belong together, forever friends, eternal life in the arms of Jesus. Justine, now you know, it wasn't the last dance after all. Hold him tightly my friend, you'll never have to let go again. Love Elaine (Angel Tom's mother)
Elaine Ball <tomballcharity@aol.com>
England, UK - Monday, May 26, 2008 12:25 AM CDT
JUSTINE's DEATH:
To those who have visited this site recently and over the years, it is with profound sadness that I let you know of the passing of Justine Saylor, Lance's mom.
Overcome with depression and sadness, Justine took her life Friday. Our prayers are with her memory and her family.
Justine is survived by her mother, Kathy Jean Mellen, and stepfather Bob Mellen. I am sure that any condolences or memories of Justine would be appreciated.
Greg Mellen <kjeanmellen@aol.com>
Stayton, Ore USA - Monday, May 26, 2008 11:45 AM CDT
Love and all the best.
SLS
Midland, Tx USA - Monday, May 19, 2008 3:45 PM CDT
thank you for sharing lance with others.he was a beautiful child.heaven is beautiful and thats why he needed him there .my grandmother used to say he picks the prettiest flowers first. god bless you
sandra francis <sand@scrtc.com>
lucas, ky us - Thursday, May 15, 2008 8:18 PM CDT
Hi Justine....Just thinking of you especially on your very special holiday weekend. Happy Mothers Day Justine. My hope for you is that you have a Sunday filled with the memories of very happy times with Angel Lance. I hope that your thoughts of Lance make you laugh, make you smile, make you remind yourself that he is tuly there righr with you in your heart. I think of you all the time and you and Angel Lance remain in my prayers. Happy Mothers Day Justine. Love and many tight hugs all the way from New Jersey. Take good care of yourself my friend.
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Friday, May 9, 2008 10:26 PM CDT
Tonight my prayers are dedicated to you!
Leslie Hamilton <LHamilton772@comcast.net>
South Williamsport, Pa USA - Saturday, May 3, 2008 6:45 PM CDT
I didn't know you or your son but found you on iTunes and followed the links to this sight for a reason. I dont know the reason now but I am sure it will be apparent eventually. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I cried listening to your songs and reading your webpage. I could never imagine the loss you have suffered.
My prayers are with you and your family and hope that Lance's recent birthday was a great day! Happy Birthday Lance!!!
Shannon Saunders <ssjccsaund@embarqmail.com>
Clermont, FL USA - Friday, May 2, 2008 10:23 PM CDT
Good morning Justine! What a beautiful tribute to Lance. The Lord placed on my heart to share this poem with you; in my darkest hours I know he is here for me as he is here for you.
I Am Here
Do you need me?
I am here.
You cannot see me, yet I’m the light you see by.
You cannot feel me, yet I am the power at work in your hands.
I am at work, though you do not understand my ways.
I am at work, though you do not recognize my works.
I am not strange visions. I am not mysteries.
Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know me as I am.
And then, but as a feeling and a faith.
Yet I am here. Yet I hear. Yet I answer.
When you need me, I am here.
Even if you deny me, I am here.
Even in your fears, I am here.
Even in your pain, I am here.
I am here when you pray and when you don’t pray.
I am in you, and you are in me.
Only in your mind can you feel separate from me, for only in your mind are the mists of “yours” and “mine.”
Yet only with your mind can you know me, experience me.
Empty your heart of empty fears.
When you get yourself out of the way, I am here.
I am here because I have to be, because I am.
Only in me does the world have meaning; only in me does the world take form; only because of me does the world go forward.
I am the law on which the movement of the stars and the growth of living cells are founded.
I am the love that is the law’s fulfilling. I am assurance, peace, oneness. I am the law that you can live by. I am the love that you can cling to. I am your assurance. I am your peace. I am one with you. I am.
Though you fail to find me, I do not fail you.
Though your faith in me is unsure, my faith in you never waivers, because I know you, I love you, I am your friend, I am your God.
Because I am here.
May God bless your broken heart today with his loving spirit. I am here for you too. Night or day. Lance is in heaven waiting to greet you as his heavenly greeted him with his open arms of love.
Dee <charlie_dee_us@yahoo.com or dee.poole@state.or.us>
Stayton, or marion - Tuesday, April 29, 2008 7:22 AM CDT
This really touched my heart. Died so young, but when people like Lance die, I try to remember he was too good to be on earth, and God wanted him back.
Gold Bless
Natalie Watson
CA United States - Thursday, April 24, 2008 8:53 PM CDT
I can feel the bond that you and Lance shared and even still share.
You have touched my heart.
Keep staying strong.
best wishes!
courtney <keleystump@yahoo.com>
tipp city, ohio U.S.A - Thursday, April 24, 2008 8:27 PM CDT
I too came across your imix on itunes and wanted to wish your son a very belated happy birthday. No one can ever relate to the joy and pain that you have experienced, but you seem to have surrounded yourself with such beautiful music to celebrate the life and joy of your child. With love and warmest hugs to both you and your son. There are people in this world that you have touched through the very little bits that you have shared with them...remember that!!
Augie deSousa <augaloofa@earthlink.net>
East Providence, RI USA - Wednesday, April 23, 2008 10:49 PM CDT
I found your mix on iTunes. My son is five years old. I know mother love never stops, and I know Lance loves you to the moon and back from Heaven.
Debbie
Colorado Springs, CO USA - Wednesday, April 23, 2008 3:54 PM CDT
Found you because I loved your iMix. Your faith is an example to me...an expecting father from Detroit.
Dave Papandrea <dave_papandrea@yahoo.com>
Rochester Hills, MI U.S. - Wednesday, April 23, 2008 8:12 AM CDT
Thank you for sharing your life and your love for your son Lance! I stumbled across your imix for Lance's birthday. I can identify with your pain and heartache of losing someone so special. In July of 2003 I lost my mother - my best friend and one who also taught me unconditional love. I can only hope she has met Lance. I know she would have had fun helping in his birthday celebration! Listening to your imix and reading your journal/blog has really touched my heart and given me hope. The hope and realization that my mother is not gone, but in heaven surrounded by amazing angels like your son. Thank you for being brave and willing to show that sometimes you wish to be in heaven with your son. I know your words, pictures and chosen music will help many others not feel so alone. I know you've helped me. Thanks for your sharing. I know Lance is a lucky boy to have such a special mother. I'm certain he smiles at his dear mother continually. God bless you and God bless Lance. Can't wait to meet him in heaven someday!
Julie Henry <jhenry41@cox.net>
Oklahoma City, OK United States - Wednesday, April 23, 2008 1:51 AM CDT
Thank you for sharing Lance's story. He seemed like an amazing person...and so do you.
Sarah M.
Winston Salem, NC US - Monday, April 21, 2008 11:46 PM CDT
I saw your playlist on ITUNES, and was moved. I feel for you, and I wish you peace and happiness. G-d bless your son. I have 2 sons, and you made me want to appreciate every minute with them. Thank you.
Brian
Northport, NY USA - Friday, April 18, 2008 10:27 PM CDT
What a lovely tribute to a beautiful young man! I stumbled across your Imixes posted on Itunes containing some of my favorites and some that are new to me - instantly recognized the anguish and loss and heartache... As the mother of three wonderful sons I can only imagine the emotions you must deal with every day. I pray that God will continue to soothe your broken heart. Susan in Oklahoma
Susan Rhoads <smrhoads52@hotmail.com>
Ada, Ok USA - Monday, April 14, 2008 9:33 PM CDT
Today i felt like i needed to see your face. and right as i clicked the link i was happy to see that black and white picture of you at the top of the site. i miss you and love you so much lance.
I hope everything is good with you Justine.
love you both.
Shannon O'Mara <medramaqueen@comcast.net>
West Linn, OR - Monday, April 14, 2008 3:10 PM CDT
Happy Belated 18th Birthday. Hope you enjoyed it up there. :)
Anthony
Howard Beach, NY - Monday, April 7, 2008 5:10 PM CDT
I listened to your imix. May Lance's wonderful spirit continue to live on in you and all who knew him.
All the best things
Kris
- Monday, April 7, 2008 1:25 PM CDT
Thank you for sharing your powerful story with the world. You are an amazing woman and Lance was an incredible young man that earned his angel wings much too young. God Bless you!
Robin <Espanara242003@yahoo.com>
Phoenix, AZ USA - Saturday, April 5, 2008 8:34 PM CDT
You have touched my heart forever
Lacey <Lacey_hutts@yahoo.com>
San Antonio, TX Beax - Thursday, April 3, 2008 6:48 PM CDT
Hey Angel Lance....Just thinking of you and your Mom today. Thoughts and prayers always from here for you both. Keep a good watch over your Mom and all of us too. Waiting as I said before for summer and the dragon flies.
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Saturday, March 29, 2008 8:12 PM CDT
Happy 18th birthday lance! Sorry i missed the actual date.I am always thinking of you up there in heaven and hope all is going well. we miss you so much. love you.
Shannon O'Mara <medramaqueen@yahoo.com>
WL, OR - Friday, March 28, 2008 3:03 PM CDT
Happy Belated Birthday, Lance. Sorry I didn't get to wish it to you sooner, but duty called me out of town. So it's the Big 18 and I hope your day up in the heavens was a good one. In fact, I know it was although so many of us wish you were here so we could have celebrated it with you. One day we will all be able to do that and I look forward to it.
Keep On Rocking On In The Heavens, Lance. I'll See Ya When I See Ya!
Tim & Family
- Friday, March 21, 2008 5:43 PM CDT
Hi I saw your imix and found the site after reading the imix note. I just wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers. I am 17 years old and I am in charge of a club at my school that raises money for childhood cancer. All our proceeds go to The Four Diamonds Fund. I just thought it would be comforting for you to know that people out there are trying to find a cure. God bless you and your family.
Le <Yanners2982@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, March 20, 2008 8:37 PM CDT
Hey guys,
I also saw your mixes on iTunes, and I think its incredibly touching. My friend Andrew passed away on July 14th, 2007 from leukemia, and I can't help but notice the similarities between these two amazing people. Andrew was 15 (he's 16 now) and I can't help but think that these two must be friends up in heaven, watching over us!
Anyway, I just wanted to wish a happy late birthday to Lance, and if you guys are reading this I have a suggestion for another mix if you decide to do one. It's called Your Guardian Angel and you can find it on iTunes. Also, if you are curious, Andrew's caringbridge site is www.caringbridge.org/visit/andrewmcdonough.
Have a great evening and God Bless you.
S
Philadelphia, PA USA - Monday, March 17, 2008 8:12 PM CDT
Hello, my dear friend. 18 years old? I can hardly believe it, Justine. Do you picture him getting older.....it's so hard to know how it all works in Heaven. I go to Lance's site every couple of weeks to check out the pictures.....I love to see them.....especially Lance's beautiful smile. I pray for your strength and courage.........I love you......angie
angie laehn <aliemma@hotmail.com>
- Monday, March 17, 2008 2:22 PM CDT
Lance..Happy belated birthday in Heaven buddy. Your 18th. As you probably know I was away this week doing, what else but, baseball. I always keep you and your mom and dad in my thoughts and prayers. I look forward to the Spring and summer so I can see the dragon flies once again. Peace buddy. Keep a watch over all of us.
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Sunday, March 16, 2008 9:12 PM CDT
Happy Birthday Lance. I wrote this for you and your family.
http://tequilaexpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/lance-gilbert-kowalski-happy-birthday.html
Justine, I hope your day was blessed. Thank you for your courage and thank you for keeping Lance's memory alive.
J
A Voice In The Wilderness <insensitiveboob@yahoo.com>
Abq, NM USA - Thursday, March 13, 2008 11:44 PM CDT
Happy Birthday Lance! I hope that you and Jay are blowing out your birthday candles together! Take care Justine.
Virginia Barnett www.caringbridge.com/md/jaybarnett <vlm1960@hotmail.com>
Glen Burnie, MD - Thursday, March 13, 2008 10:56 PM CDT
Happy 18th birthday my precious son Lance!!!!
I love you and miss you so much!
Mom
Stayton, OR - Thursday, March 13, 2008 11:13 AM CDT
Hey Lance!
Happy 18th birthday, bud. We all miss you and hope you're doing super well. Here's wishing for the best!
Your friend,
- Matthew
Matthew Oswald
- Thursday, March 13, 2008 10:04 AM CDT
Our sweet Lance! Happy 18th Birthday buddy! I can't believe you are now 18 in heaven. We miss you so much! I hope you have some fun planned on this very special day. You're amazing! We love you.
The Oswald's
Jennifer Oswald <jdmmo@comcast.net>
Tualatin, OR USA - Thursday, March 13, 2008 10:03 AM CDT
Happy 18th Birthday Lance....Justine - I wish he was still here on earth on this day.
Susan
mom to NB Angel Nathan
www.caringbridge.org/co/nathanmichael
Susan G <sogren@rocketmail.com>
colorado springs, co - Thursday, March 13, 2008 8:35 AM CDT
Justine,
I also came across your link in itunes. My son is three years old, and his absolute best friend in preschool was just diagnosed with neuroblastoma about 3 weeks ago. My wife and I are still in shock. In reading Lance's history, many of your comments along the way are similar to what we have thought. How can God allow a child to suffer like this? It breaks our hearts to know that he is suffering! We don't know what to do or say to Kyle's mom and dad. Even though we don't understand God, we are stll praying for his intercession. My prayers also go out to you!
Carl Mattia
Yardley, PA USA - Tuesday, March 4, 2008 2:27 PM CST
Justine,
I too happened upon your site on itunes, and have just had a good cry over Lance. I have a one year old son and can only imagine all you've been through. You and Lance are amazing. I will keep you in my thoughts!
Miranda
VA - Monday, March 3, 2008 10:06 AM CST
I found this website through itunes and I can't tell you how much it touched me. As the father of a one-year old boy, I feel I have an inkling of the love you feel for your son. Looks like you were blessed by a boy with a great sense of humor and smile, though.
You will definitely be in my thoughts.
Best, Madhu
Madhu Rao
New York, NY USA - Sunday, March 2, 2008 3:59 PM CST
My dearest Justine,
I found this site through your iTunes mix for Lance, but it was not the first time Lance touched my life. My husband and I are the photographers that took his Hero portrait for the CCA. I will NEVER forget his smile and that Harley Davidson bandana he chose to wear. We were extremely saddened when we learned of his passing. We have seen Lance's dad at a couple of the CCA events but have not yet had the chance to meet you.
Bless you and Lance and your family. Your sharing will help others.
With love and prayers,
Candy Newby <c.newby@comcast.net>
Hillsboro, OR USA - Sunday, March 2, 2008 3:37 PM CST
Thank you so much for sharing your son's amazing story; what a wonderful tribute. My mom just passed away and although it's hard to see clearly through the heartache right now, your words make me feel comfort and hope. I believe that God took her hand also when she died of cancer just two weeks ago. I was holding her hand when she let go of her last breath, as well. Thank you and God Bless you and your family.
Jenny <bldrgrl1@excite.com>
Surprise, AZ USA - Friday, February 29, 2008 10:34 PM CST
I found this page through iTunes... I'd seen your iMixes a few times but, to be honest, I dared not look until now. You see, I lost my 21 year old niece to AML (Leukemia) on 7/13/05 and then my father to complications of Aplastic Anemia (empty bone marrow - pre-leukemic) on 7/28/06. My father was 70 with congestive heart failure so consequently his heart gave out before the Aplastic Anemia became full leukemia. My neice's diagnosis was 8/4/04 and my life shattered that afternoon.
The page for your son is touching and very moving. Having first hand knowledge of the struggles of cancer, I was crying the moment I saw his picture. Such a sweet smile. God Bless you and your family.
Reba Warbington
Arlington, TX USA - Friday, February 22, 2008 3:23 AM CST
Happy Valentines Day Lance!
Will you be my valentine buddy?
I miss you soooooo much and love you so much!
Love,
Mom
Mom <justine.saylors@mac.com>
Stayton, OR - Thursday, February 14, 2008 3:24 PM CST
Thinking and praying for you, your family, and your beautiful son Lance.
His life continues to make a difference in this world! Thank you for keeping his website open and we are praying you are doing as well as you can.
Hoping to see another post soon! And - you never posted about the angels Lance saw near the end of his life. Maybe sometime you can share this.
Remembering Lance, connected thru Lance, and In Christ,
Janis Goehner <Janis Goehner@Hotmail.com>
Lakeville, MN USA - Thursday, January 31, 2008 3:09 PM CST
I was browsing itunes and came across your mix for your son. I was compelled to visit your page because I lost my very best friend to neuroblastoma almost five years ago. It's stunning how this cancer can take someone away from us so quickly...and yet...
Its hard to know what to say when trying to offer words of consolation. I just wanted you to know that your songs and website here keep his memory alive...and more and more people are getting to know your son through your efforts...
May God comfort you and keep you. Blessings.
Jessica
Irvine, CA - Thursday, January 24, 2008 4:44 AM CST
Justine, it is clear how much you loved Lance and how much he loved you. I have a 13 year old son and I'm going hold him closer today. We'll pray for you and your family. I lost my brother 25 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't miss him. I am so sorry for your loss. God Bless You and your family.
Monica M <mmccutchan@dacis.com>
South Riding, VA USA - Thursday, January 17, 2008 11:00 AM CST
you don't know me but one day i was looking at itunes when i saw a imix that was dedicated to your son Lance. The web address was on the page so i decided to check it out and i learned about a very brave young boy named Lance. Although i do not know you, i feel for you and i wish you and your family all the best along with Lance, and i hope that he likes his imix.
Amy 15 years old
amy
- Monday, January 7, 2008 3:10 PM CST
Merry Christmas Justine. Hope the holiday went well. i am thinking of you and the family.
Shannon O <medramaqueen@comcast.net>
- Friday, December 28, 2007 5:49 PM CST
I cannot imagine how it must feel to lose a child. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Mike Ashbaugh
Las Vegas, nv USA - Friday, December 14, 2007 1:29 PM CST
Just visiting the site again. as usual. hope all is going well.
Shannon O'Mara <medramaqueen@comcast.net>
- Wednesday, November 21, 2007 1:37 AM CST
Hi Justine: I wanted to stop by to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. I think of you often and always keep you and Angel Lance in my thoughts and prayers. I hope all is well. Hopefully we can talk soon. Peace todaya nd always....
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Tuesday, November 20, 2007 5:53 PM CST
Lance,
I can not believe it has been four years today since you received your angel wings. I think about you everyday and wondering what you are doing up in heaven. I really miss you coming over and playing Cops and Robbers with Megan,Eddy,and me. I remember watching you eat all of our blue fruit roll- ups, they always made your tongue blue.I really miss you I really do.I hope you are having fun up in heaven and can't wait to see you there. I love you and miss you so much.
Love,
Shannon O'Mara
Shannon O <medramaqueen@comcast.net>
West Linn, OR USA - Tuesday, October 23, 2007 10:56 PM CDT
The Tide recedes
Yet leaves behind
Bright sea shells on the sand
The sun goes down
Yet gentle warmth
Still lingers on the land
The music stops
And yet it echoes on
In sweet refrains
For every joy
That passes…
Something beautiful remains
-Author Unknown
The beauty of Lance's life remains in this world and in the hearts of those who know and love him. Thanks Lance. Blessings of peace and comfort to his family and friends.
With love from a fellow bereaved mother, Robin
- Tuesday, October 23, 2007 10:15 PM CDT
Lance, today is the day that commemorates 4 years to the day since you earned your angel wings. The type of birthday that no parent, grandparent, uncle, aunt, cousin or even a friend wants to celebrate. Instead of wishing you a happy angel birthday, I and many others would rather be spending the day with you doing fun things. One truly never gets over the loss of a loved one, especially family, especially a child. No, not ever.
Although you were here on this earth for what seems like 13 short years and all those who loved you wished for just one more day, one more hour, on more minute to spend with you, they are ever so grateful for those 13 years that have turned into a lifetime of memories to cherish forever. I wish I could have been even a small part of those 13 years, but I am never the less ever so grateful to have gotten to know you through your journal, your videos, your photos and especially through your Mom.
Although this is a somber day for many, myself included, I know you're in a really great place, with never ending love, kindness and the joy that only our Lord can bring in such a wonderful place. I know too, that you still look down upon your Mom & Dad and as nobody but you could do, you leave your little markers here and there just to let them know you're still around, watching over them always.
Lance, who left warmth wherever you went, who showed compassion towards those less fortunate than yourself, even while you suffered, who always gave so much love to those around you, especially your Mom & Dad, who loved and cared for God's creatures great and small, and who never forgot a friend, thank you for being a shining example of what so many of us strive to be.
Keep On Rocking On In The Heavens, Lance. I'll see ya when I see ya.
Tim & Family
- Tuesday, October 23, 2007 4:33 PM CDT
HEY LANCE, I MISS YOU SO MUCH BUT YOU ARE SO LUCKY TO BE WITH THE ANGELS AND DRAGON FLIES..SO WHAT DO YOU THINK CAN YOU AND ALL THE ANGELS HELP US BRING PEACE TO THIS EARTH..I KNOW YOU ARE TRYING..I LOVE YOU AND I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN, THIS I KNOW..OXOXOXOXO
GRANDMA <KJEANMELLEN@AOL.COM>
STAYTON , OR USA - Tuesday, October 23, 2007 4:11 PM CDT
Dear Justine, Dan and Angel Lance: I know today is a difficult day for you and Dan, Jusine. Take it one step at a time to get through the day. I always keep you and Angel Lance in my thoughts and prayers and I know he is watching over you as he is your guardian angel. Take good care Justine. I have a phone message into you now and will try to reach out to you later on today. Big hugs all the way from New Jersey to Lake Oswego. Peace today and always.
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Tuesday, October 23, 2007 11:36 AM CDT
Ironicaly I came across your page through I-tunes today and noticed the significance of the date. I just wanted to tell you that your story truly touched me and has re-enforced my faith in a time when I need it most. I am glad that I came across your page. God bless you and your family, and though I don't know you I will be thinking of you today.
Jason Foreman <jforeman210@hotmail.com>
Littlestown, PA USA - Monday, October 22, 2007 3:42 PM CDT
Hello!
I came across your iMixes on iTunes, and then noticed that you included a website link, and here I am.
My thoughts and prayers go out to both you, and your family for the lost of a loved one.
Huge Hugz, Take Care.
Terence A. Brown <the_chosen_one_006@yahoo.ca>
Canada - Saturday, October 20, 2007 10:36 AM CDT
Lance, Sweet Angel let your presence be known this week as mom struggles with losing such a precious young man. Send your family signs as we were just not meant to lose our precious babies.
Julie Stearns <jules0192@yahoo.com>
Black Creek, NY US - Friday, October 19, 2007 10:26 AM CDT
Yours is a truly beautiful story of courage and love. Lance is lucky that you are his mom. I will pray for you and your family.
carol stanilewicz
staten island, ny usa - Thursday, September 27, 2007 8:40 PM CDT
Songs I recommend for your i-mixes: "Autumn" by Paulo Nutini, "Hard to Miss You" by Mojave 3, "Silver Trees" by Rocky Votolato, and "The World Spins Madly On" by the Weepies. All my love, Claire
Claire
Bethel, CT - Sunday, September 23, 2007 8:46 PM CDT
He is a beautiful angel, and his spirit clearly lives on through yours. God bless you.
Claire
Bethel, CT 06801 - Sunday, September 23, 2007 7:41 PM CDT
I miss him so much..
Shannon O
West Linn, - Saturday, September 15, 2007 4:00 PM CDT
I saw your link on one of your imixs. I can't even begin to think what it must be like to lose a child. I will be praying for you as you continue to go through this hard time. God Bless. Your homepage is beautiful.
Hannah Mitchell
Baton Rouge, La - Sunday, September 2, 2007 1:48 PM CDT
Very beautiful tribute to your son. I also lost my son, Sept. 4, 2005. He was 28. Other songs you may like are "You Can Still Be Free" by Savage Garden, and "Fields of Gold" by Eva Cassidy.
Cheryl B.
Hammond, LA USA - Friday, August 31, 2007 9:18 PM CDT
wow, your website is truely beautiful, i am so sorry about Lance. I've listened to your Imixes on iTunes and their so well made.. i can't even imagine wht you went through!! your family will be in my prayers,
xoxo Caroline
Caroline
- Sunday, August 26, 2007 9:46 PM CDT
Justine,
What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful young man. I pray he sends you many signs from Heaven. Love you, Faye (HHH)
Faye <fsolod@vellsouth.net>
Fl. - Tuesday, August 21, 2007 9:55 PM CDT
It was very sweet and heart wrenching to listen to the music you chose and then see the pictures and read the poems. It makes my hold my little ones a little tighter and say a little prayer of us all--God help us, truly! in this brief sojourn.
Jessica
- Tuesday, August 14, 2007 10:34 PM CDT
I'm so sorry for your loss. I found you through your iTunes mixes. I use music to process grief as well. Here are some more songs I compiled recently for a co-worker who lost his 19 year old daughter in a car accident.
The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face - Stereophonics
One Moment More - Mindy Smith
In My Time of Need - Ryan Adams
Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen
Water Is Wide - Lilith Fair (Indigo Girls/Jewel/Sarah McLachlan)
Bad - U2
Sweet Thing - Van Morrison
Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
Eric G
- Tuesday, August 14, 2007 3:46 PM CDT
i dont know you but i know how you feel
my grandpa died of cancer
it is so beautiful how you made all those imixes for your son im sure he is looking down from heaven and smiling and singing along : )
c
- Sunday, August 5, 2007 2:52 PM CDT
Justine...weeping through Lance's site..he is such a doll. I wept through the whole poem of "I'm calling on an angel"it speaks for a lot of us doesn't it? Lance is so happy and your love shows in his sweet smile. My heart just breaks that any parent has to bury our child..it's just not right!!! May each day bring you signs and comfort from your precious Lance.
Blessings,
Brenda
Mindy's Mom
Brenda Clark <stanorbren@bellsouth.net>
Nortonville, KY USA - Thursday, July 26, 2007 11:19 PM CDT
Like others on this page, I found most of your playlists in ITUNES. Just wanted to let you know how moved I was by the dedications, and by your page. God Bless you. I know Lance is smiling down on you everyday, just like his pictures.
Bobby
- Thursday, July 26, 2007 0:07 AM CDT
Justine, this memorial for Lance is absolultle lovely! The poems, etc. touched my heart. God Bless you Lance and I hope you have met my daughter Denise there. She fought a hard fight also. God bless all our Angel children & parents to. Love and light, Rosaleen from HHH
Rosaleen Bellamy <rosaleenbellamy@yahoo.ca>
Colborne, Ontario, Canada - Wednesday, July 25, 2007 4:05 PM CDT
Dear Justine,
I found your link on itunes, and came to pay tribute to your son's fight. The page brought tears to my eyes. What a special boy, and a special mom to remember him with all that love
rachel
brooklyn, ny 11230 - Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:44 AM CDT
Dear precious Lance, your sweet face touches my heart. Your Mom did such a beautiful job on this tribute to you. Please send her lots of angel hugs and kisses, she misses you so much. God bless you and yours. Love, Susan~Clint's Mom
Susan Milam <milampi@aol.com>
Polk City, FL USA - Tuesday, July 24, 2007 9:26 PM CDT
Hi, I'm Shirley Mueller from the group. Your son was truely a fighter. And a very happy and good looking young man. I'm so glad that he has given you visits. And left you the amazing poem.
Take care,Shirley www.choices-therippleeffect.com
Shirley Mueller <donormamamole@yahoo.com>
Mi. - Tuesday, July 24, 2007 6:15 PM CDT
What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful young man. May all our Angels soar together.
Love,
Cheryl
Angel Adam's Mom
Cheryl Widup <cwidup@comcast.ent>
Valparaiso, IN USA - Tuesday, July 24, 2007 2:45 PM CDT
So sad yet so touching. Thank you for sharing. Have seen you on itunes.
Shannon <srforuria@aol.com>
Nampa, ID USA - Sunday, July 22, 2007 9:36 PM CDT
I am so sorry about your son my brother is only 12. I will pray for you.
victoria <glynnt1@charter.net>
Mauldin, SC usa - Sunday, July 22, 2007 10:20 AM CDT
What a touching story. I listened to your mixes on Itunes and can only imagine your pain. Lance seems like a wonderful soul who was blessed to be so loved.
Chris
Westfield Center, OH USA - Thursday, July 19, 2007 6:11 PM CDT
This site is just beautiful, your son is truly an angel,what a beautiful child. I am so sorry for you loss and pain. I wanted to let you know that I have truly enjoyed the imixes you made in memory of Lance. I found them while searching for music to heal my aching heart.Thank you for sharing,the music really helps, prayers,and love to you, Kate (Mom to one precious 7 year old daughter, and two angel babies who flew to Heaven before ever being held.)
Kate McBride
NJ USA - Thursday, July 19, 2007 10:10 AM CDT
May GOD bless you and keep you. Your faith will continue to see you through.
CeeGee
Midlothian, VA USA - Friday, July 6, 2007 11:42 PM CDT
I saw Your Imix, and listened intently to the songs You chose. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. You must be so strong and You are proof that Angels exsist. I am so sorry for Your loss. What wonderful songs to remember Your Special Angel by.
Dayna <missbwilder@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday, July 1, 2007 5:04 PM CDT
Hello Justine
I saw your site on itunes.And thought I would check it out.I am So sorry For your loss.Now he is in a better place, with no pain.Your are in my prayers...And may God watch over you and your Family.
~~Natalie~~
Natalie <Nataliesavodje@sbcglobal.net>
Chicago, IL U.S.A - Thursday, June 28, 2007 11:18 AM CDT
Hello Justine,
I too found your son Lance's website on iTunes. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I know that he is up in heaven lookin down on you and your family smiling. I too lost my brother this past January. It just happen without warning, one day he was just gone. My heart aches for him, but like one of your poems says. God did not take him, He took Gods hand. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. God bless you.
Coleen
Coleen <ctnemcrzy@hotmail.com>
Flagstaff, AZ USA - Wednesday, June 20, 2007 10:16 PM CDT
i just wanted to say how much this meant to me..yes i havent brought a child into the world yet but its very meaningful to me.
my mom came very close to dying last year after she was put into diabetic shock and on lifesupport for 4 weeks.this is different than your situation but the fact that you're still holding on is amazing.thank you so much for being an amazing mother and god bless.
Alicia
Baltimore, MD - Wednesday, June 20, 2007 11:00 AM CDT
Justine - THANK YOU for being brave enough to keep your son's memory alive and sharing him with all of us. I was perusing iTunes and was curious about your playlist. As a mother of a ten year old son I am thankful everyday that he is a healthy child. You are an amazing mother - Lance was a lucky kid.
Jennifer Morgan <jennifermorgan@pravdastudios.com>
Seattle, WA USA - Sunday, June 10, 2007 1:47 PM CDT
Your love for your son is beautiful and amazing. I am certain that he is with you and your family everyday, even if you can't see him. And someday, when the time is right, you will all be together again in heaven - for eternity. During this life, we will never be able to understand why God wanted Lance to go first, but I do believe that He has a reason and someday you will understand. Rest assured that Lance is waiting for you and smiling upon you everyday. God bless you and your family, and continue to be strong. I'm sure that Lance is so very proud of you.
Rachael Welder
Bozeman, MT - Monday, June 4, 2007 5:41 PM CDT
Justine...I too found your site through your ITunes mix. I felt compelled to look at your site because I am the mother of a 6-year-old little girl who is my world. I cannot even imagine not having her. I take for granted some times that she's always going to be here, and reading your absolutely beautiful tribute to Lance made me see how quickly she could be taken away to live with the Lord. May God wrap his loving arms around you each and every day, and may many blessings be with you & your family.
Kathy Shanteler <kathyshanteler@verizon.net>
Redlands, CA USA - Thursday, May 31, 2007 2:49 PM CDT
I too ran into your imix on itunes. I lost my little brother to Burkitt's Lymphoma in July 2005. This past memorial day weekend marked two years since he was diagnosed. He was only 25. He was surrounded by his 5 sisters, his parents, grandparents and rest of his family when he died. I miss him so much and cannot even imagine the pain of losing one of my own children. My heart breaks for you, but I know your son sees you and believes in you, just as my brother does for me. I love listening to Adam's senior song - it's by GreenDay and is called (I think) "the Time of Your Life", it says "it's something unbelievable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life." My brother's life was too short, but I know it was a happy one and I can't wait to see him again (not just in my dreams). You are in my prayers, I admire your strength and this loving tribute you have put together for your son.
Sonja <sonjawill@msn.com>
Portland, OR USA - Tuesday, May 29, 2007 7:15 PM CDT
Hi Justine,
I saw that you signed Penelope's gb shortly after me, and I followed the link to this site. I just had to leave a comment. God Bless You!!! I can't imagine what life has been link for you, and you continue to offer support to other families. Your son was a very hadsome young man, and your tribute to him is beautiful and inspiring!
-Malissia Loucks (Abigai's mom) www.caringbridge.org/nc/abigail)
Malissia Loucks <Malissia@Carolina.rr.com>
Charlotte, NC - Saturday, May 19, 2007 1:32 PM CDT
What a beautiful boy. Even if for a brief time, thank God he came at all...because the world is a much better place for having known him. See how his love lives on in others, even those who didn't know him! God bless you.
Daniel McBride <tannymac@gmail.com>
Thomaston, GA USA - Monday, May 14, 2007 12:10 AM CDT
Dear Justine, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son, Lance. I lost my only child "AJ" in 2002. He was only 15. He was walking to the school bus stop and a truck ran off the road and struck him, killing him instantly of a massage head injury. The internet was my sanity, finding other parents who have lost children...feeling their pain...their devastation...their unbearable grief and hopelessness. I searched for songs that would comfort me knowing that I could sit at my keyboard and cry my eyes out. After not much success I found a news article about you and itunes. That was over a year ago and now I have a list of beautiful songs to listen to. I want to thank you for all those heartfelt songs. You have not only helped me but I'm sure other bereaved parents as well. My prayers and thoughts are with you because when a child dies..age..way of death..nothing matters..except that beloved child is gone and behind are left pain..sorrow..and a depth of grief which has no measure.
AJ's mom forever
Connie DeVol
Connie DeVol <ckdevol@comcast.net>
- Friday, April 27, 2007 8:29 PM CDT
I was in iTunes and I stumbled across your imix. I saw and read the information clomun. I saw the website address and decided to take a look. I know how it feels to lose some one close. My Uncle recently died and its been hard to cope with it. Your site has really helped me cope with all of my sadness.
Matt Obie <stlcards567@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO United States - Tuesday, April 24, 2007 8:30 PM CDT
Hi...you do not know me, but your site touched me. I found your iMixes on iTunes and am so moved. Your strength is amazing and your family is beautiful. God bless you, your family, and your angel.
Ashley Wicks
Rockwall, TX US - Tuesday, April 24, 2007 6:12 PM CDT
Your love for your precious son shines through...
a song for Lance - Into the Mystic - Van Morrison
:)
Lynn
Deltona, FL USA - Monday, April 23, 2007 8:02 PM CDT
Hello, stopping by to check in on your guestbook. I love to read it. How are things? Thinking of you and lance and praying. God Bless, Love, Ellen
http://www.caringbridge.org/ma/seanhanson-nb3 inter risk dx 9/03, incomplete resection 10/03
Ellen Hanson <ehanson89@aol.com>
Cape Cod, Ma - Sunday, April 22, 2007 3:15 AM CDT
Justine - this is a wonderful tribute to your son. I am yet another person who does not know you, your son, or your family, but who was been very moved by your site. I believe in God and that your son is with Him shining, smiling down on you. The bond you and your son shared does not end....ever. Be strong and live your life the best way you can...know your son loves you and wants you to be happy...Take Care
Sean
- Saturday, April 21, 2007 10:35 PM CDT
TODAY IS SATURDAY AND I HAVE BEEN THINKING ALOT ABOUT MY DEAREST GRANDSON, LANCE..I MISS YOU SO MUCH BUT I KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN A BETTER PLACE THAN WE ARE..I KNOW THAT..I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOU AND THAT YOUR MOM IS DOING BETTER..SHE STILL HAS TEARS BUT SHE IS BEGINNING TO GET INTO LIFE AGAIN..
HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU LANCE. LET ME COUNT THE WAYS..TOO MANY WAYS TO LIST..I KNOW YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I MISS YOU..I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN, I KNOW THAT..WONDERFUL ANGEL YOU MAKE , YOUR PRESENSE SO CLEAR TO MANY AND I THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL BLESSINGS YOU HAVE GIVEN YOUR MOTHER FROM THE OTHER SIDE..YOU ARE TRULY AN AMAZING SPIRIT..I LOVE YOU..GRANDMA
GRANDMA MELLEN <KJEANMELLEN@AOL.COM>
STAYTON, OR USA - Saturday, April 21, 2007 2:24 PM CDT
I stumbled across your imix and followed the link to your page. I lost a friend of mine Chris Caughron to leukemia in August of 2001 when he was 17. Visiting your caringbridge page brings back memories I haven't thought about in a long time.
I'd like to share a brief personal experience from Chris's fight. A few weeks before his passing, Chris's page had received around 10 thousand hits from well-wishers around the world. It was after visiting his page one afternoon that I wrote a hopeless letter to the band Weezer. I told them of their biggest fan, my friend Chris who, it seemed, didn't have long to live. I asked if they could please sign his guestbook on his caringbridge page and while I was asking for miracles, I asked them if they'd consider attending his funeral. I recieved an email back from the band manager who had apparently read my email. He told me he was very sorry to report that the band would be out of the area for a long time but that he had already contacted them and they had signed Chris's page. I was overjoyed. Then I read the next line. He'd posted a link to Chris's Bridge page on the official Weezer website. I was overjoyed. In the next week, his page passed 30,000 hits. Literally hundreds of messages a day, some relating personal experiences (not unlike this one) and some highly impersonal but supportive nonetheless. The band Jurassic 5 signed his page when they were apparently notified by someone that Chris was wearing a J5 shirt in a few of his pictures on the Bridge site. I never had a chance to discuss with Chris what it meant to me to be able to do something like that for him (even if it was, for the most part, inadvertant). I found out from his mom at the funeral that he was aware of the surge on his site and that it was a great source of amusement for him.
What really amazed me about the whole thing was how much everyone cared as soon as they were actually faced with a real person fighting for his life. Until they saw that link, they never thought about it for a second. And that's the great disappointment of it all. People are good and want to unite for great things but nobody starts the ball rolling.
I want to commend you on your efforts to raise awareness and funding for cancer reasearch and care. I'm sorry for your loss. That must have been so difficult for you. I would like to recommend a few songs for a future installment of your Lance Imixes. Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World. This is the song I still associate with Chris. It's powerful and it's understated and it's beautiful. Please check it out. Additionally, Andrew McMahon, the solo artist who used to be the frontman of Something Corporate, was diagnosed with Leukemia while writing his album "Everything in Transit." There are a number of songs on that album that deal directly with his coping with and fight his disease. The song "Rescued," in particular is about his sister's decision to give him a bone marrow transplant and his unease about her choice to help him. It's a beautiful piano ballad but it's gut-wrenching at times how honest he is "... and it's unclear but this may be the last song. ...Oh, say you'll miss me one last time and I'll be strong. But whatever you do, please don't get me rescued, because I'm feeling like I might need to be near you. Yeah, I feel alright so please don't get me rescued."
Anyway, I hope you have a chance to check out those two tracks and thanks for your efforts to remind people how good it feels to care.
Matt McCorkle <matt.mccorkle@gmail.com>
Manhattan Beach, CA United States - Saturday, April 21, 2007 2:16 AM CDT
Dear Justine...
I found Lance's web pages by way of iTunes. What a moving experience it was for me to go through the site. You are a brave woman and I am sure Lance is so proud of you... the impact of your iMixes, raising awareness, helping others. I don't know if you have included it in any of your mixes, but you might listen to Elton John's "Love Song" from Tumbleweed Connection. It just now came on via one of my iTunes mixes and seems so appropriate. May God bless you and heal your broken heart.
Don <donbvs@lightspeed.net>
Tehachapi, CA USA - Friday, April 20, 2007 4:22 AM CDT
Justine,
I found your site through the guestbook on Penelope's site. When I pasted the web address into my browser bar and it opened, Lance's picture literally took my breath away! What a handsome young man! He is surely gracing the halls of heaven! I believe with all my heart that your son is with you every minute and is watching over you and guiding you. Thank you for sharing him with so many! I will keep you in my prayers.
Jennifer
Jennifer Rivera <jrivera@kc.rr.com>
Lenexa, KS - Monday, April 16, 2007 1:38 PM CDT
While randomly browsing the iTunes website I stumbled across Justine's tribute song collection for Lance. On this rainy Sunday I have been given the gift of learning about a special little boy from California. Justine's words -"the best day of my life was the day I gave birth to you" has really touched me. After all these years, my husband and I should just toss our fears aside and try to have a child . . . if we're lucky I hope our baby would be as wonderful as this inspiring boy named Lance.
Stacey Lazzaro
- Sunday, April 15, 2007 11:04 AM CDT
Hello Justine. Hello Lance. I signed the guestbook back about a year ago. Reading Lance's story has had a profound impact on my life and I was just checking in. After reading Lance's story I felt extremely selfish and like I had been wandering through life blind for too long. Here I was, a smoker, choosing to hurt my body and claiming that it was too much work to quit, when there were innocent people out there suffering through no fault of their own. I had been paying attention to the wrong things in life. I have finally quit smoking, and I am committed to continue fighting the battle to stay smoke free. I have made the decision to move back to AZ to be closer to family, and I am going back to school to retrain so that I can pursue my passion in life. I realize that life is precious, and our time is all to short. I am trying to make the most out of the gift that I have been given. I want to thank you Justine, and Lance, for helping to open my eyes. May God bring you peace.
Joshua Moffat <joshua54321@gmail.com>
Mineapolis, MN USA - Saturday, April 14, 2007 10:13 PM CDT
Dearest Justine, Happy Easter, my friend. My prayer is that the Easter promise of eternal life brings you comfort and peace and hope for the day when you and Lance will be together again!! What a day that will be! I would be willing to bet that this morning was a pretty special day in Heaven too! Can you imagine? Easter morning in Heaven! My thoughts and prayers are with you always. With love and prayers and hugs........angie
angie <aliemma@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, April 8, 2007 5:44 PM CDT
Dear Justine,
your site is a beautiful tribute to Lance. I am sure there are no words to comfort you even after three years. A boy is always in his mother's heart and soul. It is incredibly difficult and wrong for you to have outlived your awesome child. My 6 year old son is only one year into this battle against neuroblastoma. I have no idea how to hold on to him and enjoy each day while fighting this disease. I pray for guidance for me and comfort for you. Lance will live on through your eternal love.
Hugs from Texas, Leann
Leann <nanasgirl40@sbcglobal.net>
- Friday, April 6, 2007 0:26 AM CDT
I lost my best friend Adrienne to liver cancer when she was 15 and this just brought so much of it back. I swear I could feel Lance's life force as I looked at all his pictures. My best to you and your family.
Sherri Rose <sherri@bluefaery.org>
Berkeley, CA USA - Thursday, April 5, 2007 11:26 AM CDT
Hello Lance and Justine ,
I thank you Lance for the good memories I am very thankful for the time I spent with you! Thank you for the Infinite Inspiration!
I just found this website again in my favorites I was very suprised and pleased to see not only it still exists but, There's current updates
Stay strong Justine ((HUGS)) Thank You for the great stories, art , and poems a Superb Tribute to Lance !
I LOVE YOU BOTH VERY MUCH
GODBLESS
Tommy B. <Marilyn3585@aol.com>
Pahrump, Nevada - Thursday, April 5, 2007 3:35 AM CDT
Wow. One of my friends found the site and she showed it to me. I just saw the outline at first but tonight after dinner i took the time to read over it. It brought tears to my eyes. I am very sorry for your loss.
Katy (13, WI)
- Tuesday, April 3, 2007 6:28 PM CDT
It has been awhile since I have visited ,It is so nice to see the help everyone gets from sharing, I thank God for my Mckenna ... Hope to speak with you soon Justine,,
Happy Birthday! Lance
jac
Jac Morrison <jackpaint58@yahoo.com>
Farmington Hills, Mi USA - Sunday, April 1, 2007 10:13 PM CDT
Hi Justine. Found your site via iTunes - very sorry for your loss. Seven years ago my younger brother Sam died very suddenly from a freak intestinal infection, just 5 months after his wedding. When I heard he was sick, I got on the next plane. But by the time the plane landed Sam had died, so I never got to see him. Since then I've often wondered if a disease - like cancer - that takes years to kill would have been better or worse, but I have no answer. Don't let dates on the calendar rule your emotions. Stay strong - we admire you.
Andy Bell <andy238@earthlink.net>
holliston, MA United States - Saturday, March 31, 2007 11:42 AM CDT
Dear Justine,
I came across your iMIX notes by chance and it broke my heart, so I went to the website and while reading it, I cried my eyes out. I lost my husband almost two years ago, and our daughter was 5 1/2mths old at the time. He was recently retired USAF, and I was active duty still. I hadn't heard of this sight at the time as he was in the hospital for 15 days before I decided to take him off life support. But I can't imagine losing one of my children. My heart goes out to you and your family. I have a song for you that was given to me at my difficult time. Its called The Other Side, by Don Conoscenti. I had never heard of it before, and most haven't, but its the most beautiful and most appropriate song. I am playing it now as I cry and type this. Please feel free to email me. I hope it gives you that bittersweet feeling that helps with a good cry that you might need every once in a while. I hope to hear from you.
Love,
Karena
Karena Monsen <Solnichka@woh.rr.com>
Bellbrook, OH USA - Thursday, March 29, 2007 4:18 PM CDT
I ran accross this link on itunes, looking for songs for my little girls. I looked at Lance's pages and was very touched with the beautiful sentiments. I know that families can be together forever and that you will have the opportunity to be with your son again. My heart is with you.
Connie Sowards
Cedar City, UT United States - Thursday, March 29, 2007 2:03 AM CDT
I lost my father to cancer in July
Julie Latchford <momn4sons@msn.com>
Hudson, Fl 34669 - Monday, March 26, 2007 6:35 PM CDT
I am so sorry for your loss and can only imagine your pain. The website is truly a beautiful momento and tribute to such a great kid. You folks are such inspiration and I feel as though I know quite a bit about Lance just reading through the site and itunes. It really is true that its only a temporary separation as I believe that we are reunited with our loved ones. Please be well and carry on.
xoxoxo,
Carolyn
Carolyn <carolynswett@ameritech.net>
chicago, IL USA - Thursday, March 22, 2007 9:32 PM CDT
I really don’t know what one says to someone that has lost something so precious as you have. All I can say is you and your son have moved me to tears. The best part is they are not only tears for your loss and sadness but also tears of celebration. Though I never had the pleasure to meet your son he has moved me in a tremendous way. This is the first such post I have ever been moved to write. I found your site though iTunes, you can just feel the magic from the music you selected. It really does show just what an impact one person can have on the world even though his life was cut short by a horrible disease. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you move through life waiting to be reunited with you wonderful son. Thanks you so much for the Imixes.
Ken <kjkmadison@yahoo.com>
Madison, WI USA - Saturday, March 17, 2007 4:28 PM CDT
Hey Justine and Angel Lance. Just checking in as I was just thinking about you two. Hope your day is going well Justine. Long time no talk to and I hope everything is working out for you. You sure do have a guardian angel watching over you and you will do fine. I continue to keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Peace today and always...
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Saturday, March 17, 2007 1:22 PM CDT
Lance, forgive me for missing the 13th, but illness kept me away. Now that I'm myself again I can wish you a Happy Big 17.
So, how many tickets did you get in heaven this past year from driving that fast Ferrari Magnum machine around the pearly gates at 195mph+? You're not missed, noooooooo, not much. Well okay, you're missed a whole lot but you're not forgotten. Will you look at all the people who have been stopping by to sign your guest book? You must be like the President of the United Gates or something. You're famous and that's great because that means that the word is spreading about who you are, what you went through and how the fight still continues to stop that monster that took you, to make sure that it doesn't take anyone else.
Lance, peek in on your Mom every now and then. Stop by the door, honk the horn and wave, or better still, slip those loving arms of yours around her and let her feel your warm embrace because the heartlight never goes out, never.
One last request, please turn down that radio in the car when you're in the neighborhood because you make the walls in my house pound every time you zoom by. Okay? Okay!
Until that day when we meet up, Rock On In The Heavens, Lance.
Tim
Cactus Patch, AZ - Thursday, March 15, 2007 11:08 PM CDT
Justine, you will always have my utmost admiration. You are an AMAZING woman, and I could only hope to be as strong as you through any significant illness of one or both of my children. There is such strength in God and I am so grateful to have just met you and be getting to know you. You have a whole heck of a lot to teach me and look forward to future talks.
Sarah H.
- Wednesday, March 14, 2007 9:41 PM CDT
I came across your story through itunes just a few minutes ago. I am so sorry for your loss, and I can't even imagine what it feels like. I know its not much coming from a stranger, but I offer you deepest condolences.
If you feel up to it, you may want to check out these songs too...
-Samuel Barber's "Adagio for strings Op. 11" It's classical, but it's very emotionally charged and I think you'd appreciate it.
-Mandy Moore's "Only Hope"
-Isreal Kamikiwi'ole's "What a wonderful world/Over the rainbow" To celebrate the beauty of the time you had with your child.
-Ween's "Its Gonna Be Alright"
-Spitualized's "Broken Heart"
-Heather Nova's "Heart and Shoulder"
-The Monkees' "Porpoise Song"
and of course...
-Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven"
I hope this doesn't come off as cold and uncaring, I just recognize the power of music, and hope that these songs can bring you comfort and release.
Robin <kivablue82@yahoo.com>
Langhorne, Pa USA - Tuesday, March 13, 2007 6:44 PM CDT
Happy Birthday Lance. Justine, I still think about you, hope you're doing OK, and just wanted you to know that I think about Lance too.
www.caringbridge.com/md/jaybarnett
Virginia Barnett <vlm1960@hotmail.com>
Glen Burnie, MD - Tuesday, March 13, 2007 5:10 PM CDT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET LANCE!!
We miss you so much and think of you all the time.
Happy 17th!
Love, The Oswald's
Jennifer Dean Matthew Morgan and Charlie
Jennifer Oswald <jdmmo@comcast.net>
Tualatin, OR - Tuesday, March 13, 2007 10:52 AM CDT
Hello, I stumbled upon your "Celebration of Life" page for your dear son Lance. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful presence with the world. I just noticed that it will be his birthday coming up in a few short hours. Happy Birthday Lance. Life is measured not by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away! ( I can't take credit for this one) My breath was taken away by your love, devotion and the exordinary life your son lived with you. Your son was so lucky to have you. Someone once told me that our souls choose our parents! What a neat concept. He knew you would be so good for him. Celebrate tomorrow always.
Laura <jas_mine21@msn.com>
Tempe, AZ USA - Tuesday, March 13, 2007 1:46 AM CDT
Dear Lance and Lances Mom :o):
I know that tomorrow is your Birthday Lance and Justine I know that it will be difficult for you. Please Justine take it one step at a time and you will be fine getting through your day. You know that Lance is right there in your heart always and will always be there to protect you. God Bless Justine and Godspeed Lance Kowalski. Big hugs all the way from New Jersey. Peace today and always...
....dragonflies....
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Monday, March 12, 2007 9:39 PM CDT
Very many tears for a young man I never met, I found this thru itunes. May you know how much he loved you and of course you loved him. May you know there are alot of people who care, for whatever reason may you contact me to talk. Sorry for your loss. A new friend from afar. May God bless you!
Allyson Pham <Lucandallyson@aol.com ( Allyson Pham)>
Lancaster Township, Lancaster, Pa. U.S.A. - Saturday, March 10, 2007 8:26 PM CST
Tears for a young man I never met...love for his mother who in turn loves him so. I stumbled into this from iTunes, and found the smallest of glimpses into Lance's life. But if Lance can reach me, touch me as he has...four years after his passing...then he is most certainly not dead. His love lives on, and thus he lives on. Too beautiful a life to end...
David
- Friday, March 9, 2007 10:53 PM CST
Wow, what a beautiful boy. I found your site via itunes...great songs! I, too, use music to try and understand and work through different times in my life. Although I have no children, I am a hospice nurse, and am very familiar with living and dying, and I cannot possibly imagine how you must feel. Was he at home with you when he left? Please feel free to contact me for any reason whatsoever...you're a jewel.
Tami Rush <snapper1960@msn.com>
Fort Worth, TX USA - Tuesday, March 6, 2007 11:06 PM CST
I saw your posting on itunes and went to your site. I am a parent as well and the thought of your loss saddens me beyond words. I admire your strength and pray for life to treat you well.
Anthony Cerini <1cerini@comcast.net>
Petaluma, CA US - Tuesday, March 6, 2007 2:09 AM CST
Hi, I saw your link off of your Itunes mix. I'm an ER PA in Boston and was extremely moved by your song choice as well as the website memories of your son. I'm sorry for your loss, but rejoice with you knowing he is with his Creator.
sarah <sbhollo14@yahoo.com>
boston, ma - Monday, March 5, 2007 3:51 AM CST
I admire your strength through the most difficult of times I could possibly think of. I have a 3 year old and one on the way and I don't know what I would do if this happened to one of my children. I pray that Lance is doing well with our Heavenly Father and may God Bless You and your family forever.
Ryan <ryan@commonwealthaudi.com>
Corona, Ca USA - Friday, March 2, 2007 4:51 PM CST
now i know how my parents felt when their first son died at 6 months old....
Michael Braun <spazz15975328@hotmail.com>
Spokane Valley , wa usa - Thursday, March 1, 2007 0:55 AM CST
I found your website on iTunes while downloading music for my 4 week-old son. I was amazed and humbled by your strength. My tears have not stopped for you and the loss of your beautiful boy. My prayers are forever with you. May God keep you in his arms and continue to hold you up.
Stephanie Bradley <stephanie@bradleyhome.com>
Huntington Beach, ca u.s. - Wednesday, February 28, 2007 9:59 PM CST
Justine,
What a wonderful tribute to your beautiful son. I especially loved the drawings of Lance. You are very talented indeed, and I bet Lance is looking down smiling as he is so proud of you. Take care.
Love & Peace,
VeeJay, Jalen's Mom (Healing Hearts Haven)
Vanessa A. Johnson <vjohns1@bellsouth.net>
Ama, LA USA - Wednesday, February 21, 2007 10:34 PM CST
Justine,
What an incredible testament to your love for your son, Lance. This website radiates love. God bless you and yours.
Susan
Susan Milam <milampi@aol.com>
- Wednesday, February 21, 2007 6:57 PM CST
Justine,
Lance is so beautiful. May you feel his presence all around you. Love to you from your sister in Grief,
Faye Solod, Larry's Mom
Faye Solod, Larry's Mom <fsolod@bellsouth.net>
Boynton Beach, Fl. USA - Wednesday, February 21, 2007 4:58 PM CST
Lance is certainly an adorable young man, Seem like he had a true zest for life and lived to the fullest in his short years. God bless you all that you have been through and only the most special of parents could survive the pain.
Julie Stearns
Black Creek, NY - Wednesday, February 21, 2007 2:36 PM CST
Thank you for your words and your music on iTunes iMix. I am so sorry for your loss. You have an incredible heart and such strong faith. You have touched me so deeply. God Bless you and your family.
Lori
Grand Island, NE - Tuesday, February 20, 2007 10:39 PM CST
I love your music on iTunes. I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing a child is the WORST thing anyone can go through. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Leann
MS United States - Tuesday, February 20, 2007 9:32 PM CST
Justine I had to read your web site for Lance once again and noticed the changes since the last time. It's absolutely beautiful and moved me in a way not many things do. My love and prayers are always with you! Love, Dana
Dana Brown <Dana1OSU@aol.com>
Klamath Falls, OR Klamath - Tuesday, February 20, 2007 11:42 AM CST
I was directed to Lance's page from and ITunes IMix. I read your page and began to weep. I became a father just 6 short months ago, I have never known love like the love for a child. It is awe inspiring. My heart breaks for your family, my deepest sympathy, prayers and regard.
Vince
- Monday, February 19, 2007 0:49 AM CST
I am not sure what to say, but just as the last person wrote in this guestbook, I felt the overwhelming need to write to you. I cried for the first time in a very long time. I felt your love and pain, and recognized the incredible connection between you and your son, in life and death. You see, the last time, this though police officer cried was over two years ago when my then 2 week old daughter stopped breathing, and nearly died. It was my own breath that brought her back to life and sparked an even deeper connection between us. She turns 2 years old later this month. God gave us a second chance. I hope that people who visit your site, realize how lucky they are to still have their children. I know I do. Thank You for sharing your life and your son with all of us, it has taught me how powerful the human spirit can be. God bless you Justine and your family.
Robert <laley911@msn.com>
Lancaster, Ca - Thursday, February 15, 2007 9:02 PM CST
I have never been good at expressing how I feel but I am compelled to write you. I visited your site today via iTunes and cried. The tears were a mix of sadness and love. Although I am deeply saddened by your family's loss, I didn't cry tears of sadness but I cried because my heart could not contain the rush of love I felt between you and your son. I learned a lot today. My wife(second marriage) lost her son at child birth. When I first heard her tell me her story, I wept. Even though I cried I could not comprehend the sorrow I knew she felt. Your story has helped me understand that a little more. I am going to give her an extra long hug tonight.
I know Lance is very well taken care of in Heaven and I know Lance will forever touch people's lives here on Earth. God Bless you and your family.
Todd Burns <tburns2061@iwon.com>
Winfield, IL - Thursday, February 15, 2007 9:59 AM CST
You are a beautiful person and a caring mom. I think this world is so much more than we can comprehend and I hope you find some solace in what you do here. You aren't alone. The human race is something bigger than the stars and all of the planets. Thanks for your courage, I know your son must be proud of you.
Trevor
IL United States - Tuesday, February 13, 2007 7:42 PM CST
i am very sorry about your son and hope the best for your family
Hannah
- Sunday, February 11, 2007 3:05 PM CST
Truely a beautiful website that has inspired me. I bet he's looking down on all of the people who miss him, and I bet he's thinking about how lucky he is. We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.
Eleanor
- Saturday, February 10, 2007 11:31 PM CST
What a beutiful page! Thanks so much for sharing this with everyone. I have worked in home hospice for 18 years and the tears come, with each onw I lose. God bless.
Rebecca Daugherty <joebec98@insightbb.com>
Pawnee, Il united states - Saturday, February 10, 2007 10:44 PM CST
Thank you for introducing me to your beautiful son. As a mother, I cannot even imagine the pain of losing a child and I am so inspired by the way you have shared your experience with others and kept your son's memory alive. My thoughts and love are with you and your family. Thank you for helping me remember how precious life truly is.
Sabrina (mom to Alexander and Madelyn)
- Friday, February 9, 2007 11:03 PM CST
Hi.
I'm a junior in high school and I lost my best friend when I was in 5th grade.
She had a life-long battle with a diease that doctors have still yet to discover(only few ppl in the world have it).
Just like my friend, your son is an inspiration, and I'll think of him and you every night I can; because you and your family is beautiful and inspiring to me.
All you can do is live your life for Lance.(((((hug)))))
He will always be there. His body may be gone, but his spirit will be with you forever.....and just like I said about my friend Michelle when she died,
"God gained a angel".
(((((healing hugs and prayers))))
R.I.P. Lance Kowalski
R.I.P. Michelle Colette Vanderveer 1988-2001
Jennifer <Sweet_Sacrifice17@yahoo.ie>
- Thursday, February 8, 2007 8:29 PM CST
I am sorry for your loss. I to lost a loved on to cancer, my mother, it was hard it still is. God Bless you and your family now and always.
STAY STRONG!
Juanita <juanita17699@yahoo.com>
Ma united states - Thursday, February 8, 2007 7:50 PM CST
Dear Justine, I found your story of "forever Songs in a copy of Angels on Earth that my sister subscribed for me after losing my precious son, Jeffrey Woodall to brain cancer in January 2005. He too fought a courageous battle for 7 years. He loved music (all kinds) just like your Lance. Everything from Van Halen to Phantom of the Opera. I recently received an i-pod and have been spending countless hours on i-tunes downloading all of Jeff's favorite songs and those that meant something to both of us. Just tonight I downloaded the songs in your article. Thank you for sharing your story. I have tried in vain to get to your i-mix playlist in i-tunes. Please help guide me if you have the time. God Bless you and your family. One of my son Jeff's favorite movies was "Michael". The Van Morrison song at the end of the movie is terrific. I live in Boise, ID and so much share your love of music that speaks volumes of your love for your beloved son. Another wonderful song that we played at Jeff's funeral was "Beautiful Boy" from Mr. Holland's Opus. Sorry to have rambled on. It was a miracle that I happened to open my Angel's book last night and find your article as I have been having a difficult time with the 2nd year of missing my son.
Take care. Libby
Libby Hofmann <libbybob@spro.net>
Boise, ID - Monday, February 5, 2007 1:23 AM CST
Justine,
I discovered Lance's story by way of iTunes. As a musician I am reminded of the power and beauty that sound can express where our words often fail. I felt a renewed sense of gratitude for the joys that children bring to us as I read your website. Thank you. May God bless and keep you...
Brian Roughton
Wetumpka, AL - Sunday, January 28, 2007 1:49 PM CST
Thank you for sharing your story. Lance seems like a wonderful boy. I am so so sorry for your loss. Your web page touched my heart and reminded me how precious life is. I will be giving my kids extra hugs tonight. God Bless you!
Shawn Lisowski <yogima@comcast.net>
Collegeville, PA USA - Friday, January 26, 2007 5:50 PM CST
I found your website while looking up a MercyMe song on iTunes. Thank you so much for sharing the story of your son's life. Very recently I lost one of my best friends to cancer and am still very much struggling with the grief of it all. I can't imagine losing a child. God bless you everyday. Take comfort in knowing that you will see your son again. I will include you and your family in my prayers. Love, Steph
Stephanie
Denton, TX USA - Thursday, January 25, 2007 2:06 PM CST
You touched me today... I came across your I-tunes mix while looking for new music to download. Little did I know what a special person I would meet today. I loved Lance's cat poem. Just wanted you to know I said a prayer for you today. May God give you peace.
Dana <jada95@centurytel.net>
Alma, AR USA - Wednesday, January 24, 2007 9:36 AM CST
Hi,
I came across your site while looking at the NB kids site to make a donation to research for a little girl from NJ who recently died.
I read some of your journal entries, especially the last ones, and they moved me to tears. I feel so bad, and I'm so sorry for what you and your son had to go through. Lance seemed to be a very smart, special child who loved his Mom very much. His pictures are beautiful, what a handsome boy!
My best friend's son died from colon cancer, and he, too, suffered terribly for the last year of his life. I agree with you when you said you can't understand why God would let a child suffer in so much pain. I don't know if this will help, but my priest told us that God does not control this life, only the eternal life (the GOOD life). He said when a child suffers and/or dies God is the one who cries the most. I'm sure that God is now taking excellent care of Lance and he's peaceful and getting everything he needs in his eternal home.
Sincerely,
Mrs. C. Durgin
Cynthia Durgin <Cindee@aol.com>
Milltown, NJ 08850 - Monday, January 22, 2007 6:20 PM CST
I just met an amazing young man named Lance who is no longer on the earth, but lives in the hearts and minds of others. I really enjoyed the poem with the cat on it. Thank you for sharing. Peace be with you.
David
Rowlett, TX USA - Saturday, January 20, 2007 9:37 AM CST
I came across this site through iTunes and was incredibly moved by it, especially as the parent of a special son of my own. God bless you and your family.
Kate V. (Patrick's Mom)
Dorr, MI United States - Friday, January 19, 2007 7:49 PM CST
I too stumbled onto this website from iTunes. What an incredibly moving tribute to your Angel, Lance. I am sure this site will bring comfort to many who have lost loved ones. I have a friend who recently lost her 14 year old son (autopsy gave no answers or cause). When the time is right, I will give her a link to this site.
Mary Onstead <monstead@mac.com>
Dallas, TX United States - Wednesday, January 17, 2007 10:50 PM CST
I too came across your story through itunes. Your amazing love for your son, and the strength he showed comes through in his pictures and brought tears to my eyes.
May you find peace in knowing how many lives you have touched by sharing your story. You reminded me to hug the ones I love a little tighter and more often.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Jessica
Sacramento, CA USA - Wednesday, January 10, 2007 0:33 AM CST
Wow, I don't know what to say right now. I am a 29 year old guy, happliy married, no children and happened to be on iTunes tonight; somehow I landed here. I read all the entries and cried. I don't know you or anyone on here but I am glad you took the time to share your story and I am glad people take the time to empathize with strangers. In light of your enormous tragedy it makes me feel hopeful.
Thank you.
If you have time here are some great songs that you may enjoy:
Time to say goodbye-Andrea Boccli and Sarah Brightman
Now we are free-Hans Zimmer and Lisa Gerrard
Hang-Matchbox Twenty
Montzka
MN USA - Tuesday, January 9, 2007 9:20 PM CST
i think that you are so strong to share your memories with strangers. i almost lost one of my friends to cancer and it isn't easy. I pray that God will keep you strong. I know that saying, "I'm sorry" will never help to ease your pain from the loss. I can keep on saying that a dozen times but it will never help. But here it goes.... Im terribly sorry.
Melissa
Sunnyvale, Ca United states - Monday, January 8, 2007 10:55 PM CST
I was downloading songs for my daughters upcoming hospital stay and came across your mixes. I am moved to tears at your story. The love between you and your son is beautiful and will never be broken. I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story
Liz <lformoza@aol.com>
Syracuse, NY - Saturday, January 6, 2007 9:22 AM CST
Your son's smile is truly beautiful. I know you look forward to the day when you see his face again. Thank you for sharing him with all of us; it is a blessing to read about him, and you are truly an inspiration to every mother. May God continue to bring you comfort - and may your memories be vivid. I know your son is immensely proud of you.
Megan <megan_parrish@hotmail.com>
- Friday, January 5, 2007 5:46 PM CST
Your site is a wonderful tribute to your obviously amazing son.God bless.
Kim Patrick
Arlington , Tx US - Wednesday, January 3, 2007 8:43 PM CST
I am so sorry for your loss, and am blessed by the courage you have to keep going , with such love that you have shared this difficult story with so many. I too was raised in Laguna...maybe at sometime we passed and never knew..There is a song that helped me with the murder of my nephew, at 3 years old.."Never easy to say goodbye". by Wynonna Judd. Thank you for all that you have shared....God bless you.
Jeffrey Stone <newportstone@comcast.net>
Tacoma, Wa US - Wednesday, January 3, 2007 0:00 AM CST
I saw this link from iTunes and wanted to come and see your site. I am so sorry for your loss. I admire your strength and can see the love of Christ Jesus in all you are doing. Thank you for sharing your story.
Brad Rogers
Greensboro, NC USA - Tuesday, January 2, 2007 8:30 PM CST
My deepest sympathy is extended to Nancy and family
Helen Wallace
Chester, Md USA - Tuesday, January 2, 2007 1:54 AM CST
Linked in from iTunes and am quite moved by your love and your loss, just like countless others from the looks of the guestbook. Going to wipe away the tears now, go upstairs, and kiss our sleeping little ones. God bless you.
David
Gaithersburg, MD USA - Tuesday, January 2, 2007 0:49 AM CST
hello, I am so touched by the poems on your page, I found this website on your iMix and I was curious because in class we just finished learning about that disease. I have lost my father at the age of 13 and my aunt this year (she was my mom's identical twin) from cancer. I think that these poems are very encouraging to move on and accept the past and live in the present
Sabrina
NJ United States - Monday, January 1, 2007 8:02 PM CST
I saw your link on your I-mix and it intrigued me. I'm so sorry for what you went through. You are an amazing woman to still have the attitude that you do after what you lost. You are an inspiration to us all, and God will bless you! I wish you and your family Happy Holidays!
Lindsee Andersen <dancing_babe19@hotmail.com>
North Logan, Utah United States - Sunday, December 31, 2006 12:31 AM CST
I saw the link on your iMix. Lance seemed like a wonderful young man, and this great website pays homage to him. One more thing, I kinda thought this was funny, Lance and me have the same birthday, March 13. Wishing you The Happiest of holidays, and a happy new year!
Patric
- Sunday, December 31, 2006 0:38 AM CST
Thanks for reminding me how precious life is, and how wonderful is the promise of being reunited with loved ones.
Mark
- Saturday, December 30, 2006 3:54 PM CST
My son,Gabriel, is in the midst of his struggle with chronic myelogenous leukemia. His medication is not working and we will most likely be doing a bone-marrow transplant in February. Our caring bridge website is www.caringbridge.org/visit/gabrielward . Thanks for your mixes. We have just published ours (haven't recieved confirmation yet). You don't look at the world and people in pain quite the same anymore when something like this happens. Do you cry too when you see the St. Judes commercials? Many blessings to you.
Steve & Lisa Ward <senseistevew@comcast.net>
Hillsboro, OR USA - Wednesday, December 27, 2006 5:47 PM CST
Merry Christmas Buddy.. (clap clap clap clap!)
I am really missing you right now.
Love
Mom
Lance's Mom forever <justine.saylors@mac.com>
- Tuesday, December 26, 2006 0:30 AM CST
merry christmas to you and your family.
found the link off one of your latest iTunes iMixes
your son is beautiful and your website is a wonderful testament to his life
Brandon McLaughlin
Chandler, AZ USA - Monday, December 25, 2006 2:23 AM CST
Justine and Dan and Angel Lance. Merry Christmas. I will be thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers over the next few days. God Bless you all. Lance will be watching over you as he always does. Love and big hugs all the way from New Jersey. Peace today and always...
Dragonflies...
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Sunday, December 24, 2006 12:36 AM CST
Hoping that you'll feel and be comforted by Lance's presence during the coming holidays. God Bless.
Vanessa
Livermore, CA USA - Saturday, December 23, 2006 10:49 PM CST
Hi Justine and Angel Lance. I was just checking in to see how you were Justine as I know this can be a difficult time of the year. You and Lance and his Dad have been in my thoughts and prayers. Justine please do not hesitate to call if you need to. I would be more than happy to talk. You should have my number but if not just email and I will send it to you. Christmas already....Cantcha believe it......
Peace today and always my good friend. Lots of love and hugs all the way from the great state of New Jersey.
Dragonflies...
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Thursday, December 21, 2006 8:12 PM CST
Hello, I visited this site that I found on one of the iMixes on iTunes. I was touched by your story, like most here. I'm not sure what to say (or in this case, type). I'm sure people have said almost all the things that you could ever say of a tragedy, like this. "I'm so sorry.” this quote comes straight from my heart, and I mean it in every way.
I once knew, in a way, of a girl named, Shelby. She was a cheerleader in Texas. I had a nanny named, Deborah and Deborah used to take care of her like she did with me, until...she got sick. It was some sort of cancer, like most...I wanted to meet her, but...I was scared. I mean, I was a little kid (about 8) and I didn't know what cancer did to you. I mean, I new it killed you, but could it spread to the person beside you? I was worried I would get sick as well, but when I figured out a few years later that it didn't...I felt ashamed. I felt like I could've met her. Then, out of years of worrying about if she was going to get better, years after Deborah left; Deborah came back to visit one day. It had been maybe about two years. I dared to ask her how Shelby was doing...I did. With no emotion, just straight-faced, she said, "She died about a year ago." I was just as straight-faced as well. It made me sad, but once in a while, I think about her. I've seen pictures; in fact, she's even in the 2001 Texas Cheerleading Yearbook. She was sweet, and kind, and all those great qualities of a person! But...she was so innocent, just like your son. Can the innocent really never last ("When September Ends": Green Day), like that song from Green Day. It's not fair, but it's life. And their lives, and like many, many others, were amazing. Amazing. Beautiful lives for beautiful people. God Bless you, and happy, happy, happy, holidays!
Jennifer <cleveland@houston.rr.com>
TX United States - Tuesday, December 19, 2006 10:41 AM CST
Just found this site through i-tunes. I am so sorry for your loss.I can't even fathom the pain, the loss.I begin my day with morning mass at church, please know, that will remember you and Lance at every Mass I attend . You all are in my prayers. What a special boy God gave you.
Sincerely,
David
David Becker <dbecker6@gmail.com>
Homosassa, FL United States - Tuesday, December 19, 2006 6:42 AM CST
I'm so sorry about your son. I can't even imagine what your going though right now. I still havn't stopped crying after viewing your site. You and your family are in my prayers
~Kerry
Kerry Gilbertson <kerryinlo@comcast.net>
Lake Oswego, OR United States - Monday, December 18, 2006 11:54 PM CST
I, like many other came across your itunes listings and felt the need to see your beautiful son. I am still in tears from your site. You have suffered tremendously I am sure, but you are very couragous in creating this wonderful memorial to your son. I pray now for your son and as well for you and your family, may god bless you.
Heather G <dnh081600@yahoo.com>
Newmarket, UK - Saturday, December 16, 2006 4:25 PM CST
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I ran across your itunes mix and I am filled with love for you. Take comfort, your son is an angel in heaven, smiling down on you when the sun rises, the tides comes in, and the wind blows. He visits you in your dreams. He is not in pain, for he is just waiting for you to visit him in heaven.
Tara Voicheck
Somerset, nj us - Sunday, December 10, 2006 3:12 PM CST
I saw your itunes mixes and was compelled to visit your site. My heart goes out to you. How lucky was he to have been so loved? The songs you have chosen are beautiful and everlasting just like a mother's love. I cherish your memories of him and wish you peace.
Christi in Boise
- Saturday, December 9, 2006 9:07 PM CST
Hi Justine and Angel Lance. Thinking about you today and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I know the holiday season is difficult Justine but just take it one moment at a time. I will continue to keep you guys in my thoughts. Hugs all the way from New Jersey. Peace today and always...
Dragonflies....
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Thursday, December 7, 2006 9:47 PM CST
I ran across you itune listing and accessed this webpage. The story and your need to keep his memory alive touched me in such a profound way. If only for a moment, I shared his memory with you.
Nick
Wilmington, DE USA - Tuesday, December 5, 2006 9:40 PM CST
Peace to you.
Moon
Chicago, IL United States - Tuesday, December 5, 2006 7:27 PM CST
Justine,
I do not know you but I wish I did. I did not know Lance but I miss him. The music you have chosen on Itunes is beautiful and your web site in memory of Lance was so touching. I wish you peace this holiday season. You are in my prayers.
Shannon Hooley <shannon@hooley.com>
Fort Lauderdale, fl usa - Sunday, December 3, 2006 8:17 PM CST
I happened to be on Itunes and ran across the story of your courageous son Lance. I was overwhelmed with emotion. As a father of a 4 year old boy and a 5 month old boy, I just can't imagine my life without them. I am so sorry for your loss. I will say a prayer for your family and your son as he soars in Heaven. May God bless you over and over.
Steve McIntosh
Davenport, IA USA - Thursday, November 30, 2006 9:35 PM CST
I just happened across your imix and story of Lance. I am so brokenhearted for you and just cannot imagine what the world looks like when you've gone through the loss of a child. I'm going to hug my little boy for you and Lance. Thank you for that. My prayers are with you and your family.
Lisa
Long Beach, CA - Thursday, November 30, 2006 4:24 PM CST
Hi Justine: I just saw your entry in Richie's guest book and it prompted my visit here. He went through quite a difficult time as did Lance and his passing is a relief as he will suffer no more. I wanted to come by today and let you know that you and Lance and his Dad are always in my thoughts and prayers. I visit here often but just as often don't use the guestbook. I know Lance has welcomed Richie to heaven and I am sure he did the same for Nolan Kane when he arrived. I told Lance they were on their way as I am sure you did. You and Lance and his Dad are never far from my thoughts and I thought I would come by today to check in and let you know I was thinking about you today. Hugs all the way from New Jersey. Peace today and always my friend....
Dragon flies......
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Sunday, November 26, 2006 12:07 AM CST
I am so extremly sorry for your loss. I am a teenager (13) and I saw your imixes on iTunes and after I visited your son's website, I just started sobbing. No one deserves to go through what he did and I pray for you that your life will be as happy as possible. What you are doing to raise awarness for pediatric caner is brave, and fantastic! I support many causes (such as breast cancer) and now after reading your web page, I support the cure for pediatric caner as well. Best wishes.
Gregory Salwen
Scarsdale, NY USA - Thursday, November 16, 2006 8:49 PM CST
Your site touches many, and I'm truly sorry for your loss.
Kelly
- Wednesday, November 15, 2006 11:48 AM CST
I was touched by your song lists on itunes. After seeing those imixes I couldn't help looking at Lance's web page. It's beautiful, the pictures of him are amazing and you can tell just by looking at it that he was a wonderful person. I'm 15 years old, and your story has geniunely changed how I look at life. If you make a new imix, I recommend the song "Godspeed" by the dixie chicks.
Erin
Charleston, WV United States - Saturday, November 11, 2006 7:01 PM CST
What can I say other than God had a reason to take him so young. Maybe he left early to prepare a special place for you some day. I don't know you or your son, but I was touched by your iTunes playlists and the website you set up. Your son looked like a strong young man with a big future ahead of him. I have 4 kids and after reading through your website and listening to the great music, I can say that I appreciate all that I have that much more!
I helped edit a film called 8 seconds. Reba McEntire has a song called "If I had only known" which is on the soundtrack. There is another song by Billy Dean called "Once in a while". You must hear it! It sounds like it was written for your son.
Roger <rholmberg@aol.com>
Gilbert, AZ United States - Sunday, November 5, 2006 9:17 PM CST
Beautiful.
Samuel
Seattle, WA USA - Sunday, November 5, 2006 2:57 PM CST
I'm looking at these pictures and bawling. My own child this age is upstairs sleeping and I can feel how your pain must be unbearable. Love your i-tune mixes, it's what brought me here. I'm praying that you feel God's comfort tonight. You and Lance will be together again in the light and for eternity. Knowing that doesn't take away the pain, but at least you know that you are the one suffering and not Lance. . . and someday you will be freed from your pain, too. Just finish the work God has for you here so that you can go on to your reward. And, hey, you've already had a taste of that reward, so you know it's the greatest.
Patricia Lybrook <plybrook@bellsouth.net>
Atlanta, GA USA - Saturday, November 4, 2006 10:18 PM CST
I also came across your web site through itunes. I was so touched by your tribute to Lance and it is heartening to know how many his spirit has reached through your efforts. I have children and cannot begin to comprehend your grief. I will, now more than ever, thank God for every moment I have with them. I pray for you and your continued healing Justine.
Sean
San Diego, - Monday, October 30, 2006 3:48 PM CST
hey, i saw your imixes on itunes; i never really knew what neuroblastoma was before i read your website and decided to do some research.. i'm sorry for your loss, but i believe, and hope you do too, that your son, lance, is much better and happier on the other side.
natalee <suigeneris716@msn.com>
- Sunday, October 29, 2006 9:55 AM CST
I saw your i-mix on i tunes....keep his name and spirit alive! I can't imagine the loss, but stay strong and spread the love!
BOC <minime1998@yahoo.com>
IL - Tuesday, October 24, 2006 10:00 PM CDT
What a wonderful tribute to honor your loving son, Lance. He's such a caring and handsome young man who was obviously so full of life and love for all of you. I'm so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. May your precious memories of Lance bring a smile to your face everyday and allow you sweet dreams of him each night. I'm keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you peace. Blessings & hugs, Melody ~ Angel Adam & 3 Angel Babies
Melody Hill (AngelMoms) <rnbow031281@yahoo.com>
Philo, Ohio USA - Tuesday, October 24, 2006 1:20 AM CDT
Justine, remembering Angel Lance on this day. There are many days i, we think of Lance and you. Lance has a very special MOM. He is watching over you all the time. I pray you will some thoughts of good times Lance and you had. As grandparents we know it can be hard but some memories bring happy and funny times. Thank you for all you did for me, us, God Bless you and Angel Lance.
Sweet Hugs From Gpa.Gene, Gma.Gail and Sweet Angel Luke,xxxooo
"Good Ride Cowboy Luke"
Grandpa Gene and Grandma Gail <gailsweet@zoominternet.net>
ashland, ohio U.S.A. - Monday, October 23, 2006 10:00 PM CDT
Lance Gilbert Kowalski. Never Forgotten, Always Remembered! Even 3 years after you earned your angel wings you are so strongly remembered and by so many. To this day, your story and all that was you, continue to touch the lives of many. For those of us fortunate enough to know you because we were a part of your life, or know all about you because of your parents and your journal, life as we knew it will never be the same because our day to day life doesn't include your presence here on earth. This world as we know it is in indeed at a loss without more people like you in it who are kind, caring and loving. Lance, they say that all fighters give some, but we know that during your life and especially during your fight against pediatric cancer, that you gave all. Your fight is over but our fight still continues to help find the cure so no more good people like you are taken from us and especially so young. Rock on in the Heavens, Lance.
Tim & Family <fishingwithpoppop@cox.net>
Mesa, AZ. USA - Monday, October 23, 2006 4:40 PM CDT
I am so very sorry! Thinking of your dear son on his angel date! Praying he sends you lots of love today!
Jessie
Kilian's Mom
Jessie ( Kilian's Mom ) <jessiejgtdk@yahoo.com>
- Monday, October 23, 2006 2:19 PM CDT
I am sending my love and hugs and strength and prayers. I love you...............angie
angie <aliemma@hotmail.com>
pepin, wi usa - Monday, October 23, 2006 11:07 AM CDT
Hey Lance,
Happy 3rd Heaven Birthday. We totally miss you!
Love, The Oswald's
Jennifer, Dean, Matthew, Morgan and Charlie!
Oswald
- Monday, October 23, 2006 9:30 AM CDT
Justine and Angel Lance: I know that today will be hard for you Justine. I will be keeping you and Angel Lance in my thoughts and prayers all day. He is here today. He is right there in your heart. Hugs to you all the way from New Jersey. Dragon Flies...Peace today and always....
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Monday, October 23, 2006 6:37 AM CDT
My candle will be lit in memory of Lance. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Holding you in my heart.
Loni Wendt <slwendt@charter.net>
Waupun, WI US - Monday, October 23, 2006 5:32 AM CDT
Dear Justine,
On Lance's EL date, praying for you to have peace, comfort and strength. I know that the pain of such a great loss never really goes away. My sweet Jason said to me, on the way back from the clinic one day, "Mom, it's okay if I die now. It will just mean that I will be in heaven a few years before you." --but oh, how we miss them.
Pam
forever Jason's mom
www.caringbridge.org/tn/jasona/
Pam Archer <davidandpam.archer@comcast.net>
Hendersonville, TN 37075 - Monday, October 23, 2006 3:15 AM CDT
Sending your Lance in heaven and you on earth, this mother's love and hugs. Your Itunes music touched my soul and led me here. I've read everything about Lance and you as his wonderful mother. I know he is with you every day - just in a different form. Find grace in that. Lance is with our 41 friends and colleagues lost in the World Trade Center attack on 9/11/01. Peace and blessings to you and your family...and this mom's prayers to Lance.
Jill
New York, NY USA - Saturday, October 21, 2006 8:29 PM CDT
Hey Angel Lance and Justine: Thinking of you both today and keeping both of you in my prayers. I know Monday will be a very hard day Justine. Lance will always be in your heart. I am here if you wish to talk. Love and prayers to you both. Peace today and always....
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Thursday, October 19, 2006 11:29 PM CDT
Remembering Lance today.
God Bless all of you.
Vicki <vriedel01@comcast.net>
- Monday, October 16, 2006 2:28 PM CDT
Hi Justine and Angel Lance. Thinking about you both today. As you know you are always in my prayers. Justine I know the day is coming up and I know its hard but do your best and know that Lance is no longer in pain and living in heaven. You will see him again someday. For now think about all of the great memories you both had together. I remember that you said that you memorized every inch of him. You still have that memory and he will always, always be in your heart. Prayin for you both every day... Peace today and always.....
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Sunday, October 15, 2006 7:28 PM CDT
Hi, I came across your story via itunes. Thank you. 6:30am and I am crying. You and your son are inspiring. My wife and I lost our daughter (stillborn on 12/25/01). I've often thought that God took her then because he knew we could not bear to lose her when she was older. Some people live their whole life without touching anyone. Your son was 13 and has touched many, many people. Thank you!
James Holcomb
Littleton, CO USA - Sunday, October 8, 2006 7:47 AM CDT
I have never known what it's like to lose someone I love so much as you love Lance. I have spent my life feeling sorry for myself. I've never truly felt anything, until now.
I was on iTunes, feeling sorry for myself, as usual, when I found your songs for Lance. I didn't even know your story. I knew nothing, but I cried. I've never done anything like that. I will pray every day for your continued healing. Thank you for your unselfish love for your beloved son. I am sorry if this makes no sense, but I just want you to know how beautiful you are as a human being. I don't think I can ever shed another tear for myself. I thank God for you.
Seannn Combs <mattolboy@yahoo.com>
Macclenny, FL U.S. - Saturday, October 7, 2006 12:47 AM CDT
Justine and Angel Lance....I know that you are coming up on the day Lance finally escaped his pain and discomfort and went to heaven. I have been thinking of you both all week long. I always keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you both and give you peace. Love and Peace today and always.
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Wednesday, October 4, 2006 7:22 PM CDT
What a beautiful tribute for your son.
I have downloaded many of the songs you have in your imix.
I will pray for your family.
peggy presgraves
glenn dale, md usa - Saturday, September 30, 2006 9:55 PM CDT
Justine,
Wow...I came across your tribute to your son Lance while looking for R.E.M. songs to download for my honeymoon trip to Hawaii tomorrow. I'm at a loss to explain how my happy, carefree search led me to this page and how I suddenly became overwhelmed with sadness for you and your sweet boy, and compelled to go to your web page dedicated to him. I cannot imagine your pain and, conversely, your strength. I will remember this for the day my wife and I have children. I will hug them for all I'm worth. I hope you heal and come to enjoy life again and revel in his memories. Of course he would want only that for you. Be well.
Doug
Norwalk, CT USA - Saturday, September 30, 2006 8:17 PM CDT
I found this site thorugh Itunes. I'm so sorry for what happened to Lance. I lost one of my friends on September 23, 2005 when she got hit by a car, and your Itunes mix makes me think of her. Thanks so much and I'll include you in my prayers.
Caitlin
Vernon, NJ USA - Saturday, September 30, 2006 5:44 PM CDT
We found your iMix's on iTunes to your son after the loss of our little girl last year, she was 14 days old and we do not know why we lost her after such a short time. We lost our hopes but not the memories of 13 years as you have and we know the grief you have in your heart. You are with us everyday in our prayers.
Patrick Herndon <patrickherndon@comcast.net>
Newburyport, ma usa - Saturday, September 30, 2006 5:36 PM CDT
I came across your site via iTunes. Please except my deepest sympathies on your loss. I too have lost my only hero to this disease. I once wrote a quotation on his birthday card. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me...
"those who can truly be accounted brave are those who best know the meaning of what is sweet in life and what is terrible, and then go out undeterred to meet what is to come." Livestrong Justine.
Nicholas
Nicholas <themondoman@juno.com>
R.B., CA - Friday, September 29, 2006 1:54 AM CDT
You are in my prayers. I'm going to go hug my kids now. Thank you.
Ken <ken12343443@aol.com>
- Friday, September 29, 2006 0:57 AM CDT
Justime - As I think you have already discovered, music will help carry you through this. I suggest you add "The Riddle" by Five for Fighting to your next iMix. God Bless You.
Rick
St. Louis, MO USA - Wednesday, September 27, 2006 3:43 PM CDT
Justine, I just came across you notes at Itunes. I offer my deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family. I am not a parent - so I can only assume that losing Lance has been the challenge for your journey. I trust that you will realize peace and comfort through warm memories of Lance and the love and support of good friends. Your delightful, irrepressible, positive spirit is wonderful testimony to your son.
Jeff Scarcello <jeff_scarcello@yahoo.com>
San Francisco, CA 94114 - Tuesday, September 26, 2006 8:55 AM CDT
Justine,
I found this website for Lance through iTunes. I am so sorry for your loss. Lance was a courageous kid who is an example to us all. Please take care of yourself. I'll say a prayer for you.
Steve
VTA, CA USA - Tuesday, September 26, 2006 0:40 AM CDT
Hello Justine. I can't bear to read anymore of your journal. I feel so much of your sadness. iTunes led me to you and my wish for you is that your pain subsides and is replaced by beautiful memories.
Helena Giannakopulos
Delray Beach, FL 33445 - Monday, September 18, 2006 1:56 AM CDT
Angel Lance and Justine: Thinking of you today as you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you are doing well Justine. Take good care. Peace today and always...
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Saturday, September 16, 2006 10:20 PM CDT
may angels surround you in your healing process this lifetime.....it's such a burden you carry...God Bless You.
Karri
- Tuesday, September 12, 2006 2:43 AM CDT
Angel Lance and Justine: You are always in my thoughts and prayers. I think of you often and listen to many of the Imix songs you have put together in Memory of Lance. Justine your continued dedication is incredible and an inspiration to those pushing for a cure for this terrible disease. God speed and God Bless you always.... Peace today and always....
Sean Doherty <cchmooch@aol.com>
Freehold, NJ USA - Saturday, September 9, 2006 10:40 PM CDT
I am helping a friend create a memorial DVD for our friend who was killed by a drunk driver in a head-on collision...she was only 31 - wife and mother - she missed her daughter's first day of kindergarten by just a few days...so, while looking through iTunes, I came across your album...what a touching collection you have and the website is truly beautiful. I'm sitting here balling my eyes out because I too have a beautiful 13 1/2 year old - and I know that I take him for granted too often...the heartbreak that you've experienced is so incredible and makes me realize again that life is just so short and you'll never know when that last corny joke will really be the last. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your son - I am going to bookmark your website as a reminder to enjoy my children and never take a moment with them for granted. May God truly bless you.
Jen <jennifelamping@bresnan.net>
Helena, MT USA - Friday, September 8, 2006 4:40 PM CDT
I'm a new dad, my daughter is 7 months old. I was cruising iTunes & happened across your mixes & words. Knowing the unimaginable depths of a parents' love, I must say I was unexpectedly & immediately brought to tears while listening to some of your choices. After seeing Lance's website I was struck by the fact that no-one who is truly loved is ever really gone - their life force lives on to educate & inspire others to hope, to love & to live. Though I've never met him personally, please thank Lance for me - your son is still affecting people deeply & in a positive way & has reminded me to cherish every moment in life and love. Not a small lesson, & one well taught by your example and that of your wonderful boy. Thank you.
Alain Dominic <alaindominic@hotmail.com>
Studio City, CA United States - Monday, September 4, 2006 1:48 AM CDT
God bless you...wish I could wrap my arms around this computer to give you a hug. Your tribute to your son is a beautiful one...
G Ferraro <r2t205@aol.com>
Bethel, CT - Sunday, September 3, 2006 8:40 PM CDT
This is a wonderful tribute to your son Lance. I only hope that I am able to establish the type of relationship Lance had with his father with my son, who is autistic. The grief you and I share is for a lifetime, but me and my son may never have the wonderful memories you had with Lance to offset the grief. I hope you and yours the very best.
Kent Adams
Greensboro, nc United States - Sunday, September 3, 2006 11:55 AM CDT
Hello, dear friend! I check Lance's site often---almost every day. I love to look at the pictures.....they always make me smile. Today, however, I was thinking Lance should be starting school. Perhaps you have been thinking the same thing. Maybe they have school in Heaven...you know...a really fun school where all the teachers are cool and the homework is fun!
I love you, Justine, and think of you often. Your friend always and forever......angie
angie laehn <aliemma@hotmail.com>
pepin, wi usa - Saturday, September 2, 2006 7:51 PM CDT
I was led to your website while browsing for songs for my Mom, just to let her know how much I love her. Life is just too precious and fragile. I have not yet experienced death to a close loved one, and I dread the day it happens. I hope this website and your musical creations prove to be a good therapeutic exercise. I hope you find peace and the will and desire to live life to the fullest, as Lance would want you to. Thank you for touching my heart, and for allowing Lance to go on living through your love.
Matt <matt@mtwtech.com>
Boston, MA - Saturday, September 2, 2006 9:13 AM CDT
I'm sorry, you don't know me, nor do I know you, but your situation has touched me and the fact that Lance was a believer and was able to maintain a joyful spirit has touched me also; he was taken from God at exactly the time God planned for him to be taken up into His kingdom, which obviously means he had fulfilled God's plan for Him whether he knew it or even knew what it was.
MAY GOD FILL YOUR SPIRIT WITH HOPE!
Kayla
CA USA - Friday, September 1, 2006 11:28 PM CDT
I never had the opportunity to meet Lance, but I sure wish I could have known him. He seems like he was such a great person to have in anybody's life. I can't even imagine the pain you're experiencing, since I'm not a parent myself, but i do know what it's like to lose a family member to cancer. My aunt just recently lost her battle with cancer. I understand what it can do to a family emotionally. We miss her all the time, but everytime I see her baby daughter, I see my aunt, and I know that she's happy in heaven. I know that everyday is a gift from God, and we should live everyday to the fullest. I know my aunt did, and from what I can see, Lance did too. Even in the most difficult of times, I can see that he remained optimistic. It's so wonderful that you had him in your life. You were really blessed, and you and everyone else that is going, or ever had to go through this will be in my prayers.
Chiara
- Friday, September 1, 2006 8:32 PM CDT
This is such a novel story, and I'm truly inspired by your sons person. My name's Lance as well, and I followed this link from iTunes. I'm only 13, and don't know what it's like to lose some one, but I can tell that your son was a genuinely good-willed, and blessed person to set foot on this earth. I can't understand the love you hold for him, but you really held him close to you, and he'll be there forever. I live thousands of miles from my parents in a boarding school, and though that's not as large as the ultimate border between life and death, our love is stronger than ever, and you and your son will still sit under the same tree together, and though it may seem hard, he knows what you're going through, and he loves you so much for it.
May his soul rest safely in Heaven.
Lance
Lance Morton <dilbadil@yahoo.com>
Chula Vista, CA United States - Friday, September 1, 2006 5:22 PM CDT
Hi,
I followed your link from iTunes because my daughter also fought cancer and has a caringbridge site. She is doing well, but I was so scared of losing her. I read your site at work with tears in my eyes, and I can't even imagine the sadness you must feel every day over the loss of your beautiful son. Thank you for sharing your story. It reminds me to be thankful every day for all of my blessings and to remember to enjoy life.
www.caringbridge.org/mt/brynnpule
Stacey and Brynn Pule <stella_slappy@hotmail.com>
St. Ignatius, MT USA - Tuesday, August 29, 2006 9:30 AM CDT
Thank You for sharing your story. As many other i also found your imix looking for a song by Josh Groban, all of them are great. I can not say like others that i am sorry for your loss, i can say that i am glad that you had an angel for a few years for it made you see what life is all about. He went to a better palce and i think now you realize it, he is still there, watching you, taking care of you, from above the place where he is meant to be and the place where he will be waiting for all of you. So be happy, be sad, but never cry, for you only cry when your heart is sad, and i believe that in your heart you know that that would hurt Lance too. Again, thank you for sharing your story.
Juan Sanchez <IceJuan1@gmail.com>
Buford, GA USA - Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:54 AM CDT
I came across your "IMIX" while searching for Josh Groban and your notes on your IMIX led me to your website for your son, Lance. I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a son, who has just turned 12 and his name is actually Christian Lance. I can't imagine the loss you feel but can understand how special your son has been to your life as well as others in the short time he had here. I know God has a special purpose for him and for you and he made the world a better place by his being here for the time that he had. God bless you and yours!
Jami Riley
Baytown, TX USA - Sunday, August 27, 2006 11:37 PM CDT
I followed this link from iTunes. What an incredible son you were blessed with. I am truly sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing your loving story.
Jeff <jeff@duffeyhomes.com>
Dallas, TX - Friday, August 25, 2006 11:19 PM CDT
Thank you for sharing the memory of your son with me. I found his imix and followed it here. Your son sounds like a remarkable young man and the world is better for him having been here. Just look at how many people he touches now that he has passed. I can't imagine the struggle life has become now that he is no longer with you, but God brought him here for a reason and He took him home for a reason.
You are a courageous and obviously loving woman and I hope that you will continue to share your son's life and story with others.
K. Owen
Ocala, FL USA - Friday, August 25, 2006 10:19 AM CDT
I saw one of your iMix lists and followed it here. I want to thank you for sharing your son's story with others.
If you haven't heard his music, you should check out Shawn McDonald. Also, go to Lifehouse-media.com to check out all of their rare and unreleased songs. Make sure you download them all (they're free and legal). You should start with the songs from the CD "Diff's Lucky Day" when they were known as the band "Blyss". They also have some unreleased live worship songs from when they were known as "Blyss".
I hope that you continue to put your faith in the Lord. Take care and may God bless you.
Jason Strope <Stanley_Climbfall@msn.com>
Mt. Vernon, IL U.S. - Thursday, August 24, 2006 1:10 AM CDT
I dont know you or your family, but just reading what your mom wrote touched me. We're the same age also, so that too touched a sensitive nerve. Anyways, rest in peace buddy, maybe I'll meet ya one day
Stu
Boston, Ma US - Sunday, August 20, 2006 3:34 PM CDT
I am not able to truly understand how you feel for I have never lost a child, but my thoughts and prayers are with you on your long journey forward.
I would like to make a suggestion for your songlist. "The Water is Wide" is actually an old song, but Niamh Parsons sings an absolutely beautiful version of it. You can find it on ITunes. Eva Cassidy's version of "Fields of Gold" is also quite lovely.
While music can never completely take away your pain, I hope that these songs help to make your days a little easier.
Genn
La Plata, MD USA - Saturday, August 19, 2006 4:54 PM CDT
I just came across you imix, and reading you notes i started crying. I'm so sorry about lance, and just stay strong and know that he is with you.
Love, Eileen
Eileen <leenie00013@yahoo.com>
Minneapolis , MN United States - Friday, August 18, 2006 6:21 PM CDT
Just discovered iMix and your story. WOW! We sent our son Jacob to his heavenly home on January 4, 2003. Much like you, we got to hold him in his final minutes, saying goodbye. I held him for his first breathes at birth and his last at the young age of 5. We were truely blessed to have had Jake for that short time!
Your pictures, songs, poetry are great! Keep in mind God's promise for all His children, John 3:16, 3:36, 5:24, 14:6 Acts 4:12 & 16:31. As children of God, we are separated only once here on this earth, and will be united again someday! When you reach those darkest days, remember these passages, His promise to His children.
Good luck to you and I will keep an eye out for new mixes, I may even "mix" one myself.
PS Love the David Lanz selections! I met him in 1986 playing in a bar in Seattle and had dinner with him after a performance in Omaha years later.
Joe Nieto <joe@take2.com>
Omaha, NE USA - Thursday, August 17, 2006 2:37 PM CDT
I came across your iMix looking for a Jessica Simpson Song. I guess it was ment for me to find it. Well, Im sorry about lance. Love your iMix on iTunes.
Love
Emily T.
Emily <etphonehome9323@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, August 16, 2006 4:16 PM CDT
What wonderful photos. I'm sorry for the loss. I listened to your iMix, what a great mix of songs.
Emily 13
Emily t. <etphonehome9323@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, August 16, 2006 4:08 PM CDT
Hello Justine. My brother's friend also has cancer, but he does not have the same type as Lance did. It sounds like Lance loved animals, which is good because I have lost a beloved pet but am reasurred that Lance will be able to take care of him now.
Liz
P.S. I followed the iTunes link and am very sorry to hear about Lance.
Liz <K9chic135@aol.com>
- Monday, August 14, 2006 3:09 PM CDT
Justine:
Your mix on itunes caught my attention because my son, Christian Pierce, age 7, has spent the last year of his life fighting another form of pediatric cancer, Medullobastoma. As you can see from his website (www.caringbridge.org/visit/christianpierce) he is doing well after 7 months of treatment at St. Jude, but we pray every night that his tumor will not return. As you can imagine, I have some appreciate for your pain, but even my worse day (while he was in surgery not knowing the extent of the cancer and having been told the worse), it is still only a fraction of the pain you have endured. It is so great that with your help, Lance has touched the lives of so many people and hopefully each parent that reads your site will appreciate how fragile a child's life is. Our children cause us some form of grief everyday, but hopefully your site and experience will help parents to appreciate every day with their children and be happy that their children are with them to give them "grief" each day because as you have expressly so well on your site, the alternative is something you would not even wish on your worst enemy. May God's love and support help you through each day until you are reunited with Lance. With tears in my eyes for both of our sons; Tim Pierce father to Christian Pierce
Timothy Pierce <tlpierce@thelenreid.com>
Malibu, ca - Saturday, August 12, 2006 2:21 AM CDT
Hi. You don't know me; and I don't know you. But tonight I drank a half-bottle of pinot noir, started to download music, and fell upon your son's story. And what struck me -- hit me like a brick, actually -- is just how fragile it all is, and how all the "problems" I thought I had an hour ago are so utterly insignificant in the cosmic scope of things. I have a little boy, 2 years old, and a little girl, one year old. The thought that something could happen to them, or that I could lose them, paralyzes me. So I guess what I want to say is, from nobody you know at all, that I'm so very sorry about your son. He was an amazing child, and your courage is inspiring. I also want to thank you for reminding me to cherish every moment. You touched me tonight ... and I will be a better dad because of it.
Aaron
- Friday, August 11, 2006 1:13 AM CDT
Thank you so much for sharing Lance with the world through this website. What a beautiful story and a beautiful young man. God bless you and all those that love Lance. I said a pray for you and wanted to share one of my children's favorite prayers. "God bless all those that I love, God bless all those that love me, God bless all those that love those that I love and all those that love those that love me." God be with you until you are reunited with your loved one again.
Gaye <gtmuzz@earthlink.net>
Littleton, CO USA - Friday, August 11, 2006 0:30 AM CDT
Dear Ms. Justine,
I came across your iMix on itunes when i was looking for music. I was very touched by your discription of your iMix. I decided to visit your page. When looking through the pictures & poems, I was very touched & started crying. You did a beautiful job with the music & Im very very sorry for your loss. Im about 13 & I didnt even know him but he touched me.
Sincerely,
Heather
Heather
- Thursday, August 10, 2006 5:16 PM CDT
I came accross your music list on itunes and was so touched by your choice of songs that I accepted your invitation to visit Lance's page. I was so engulfed reading and looking at pictures that I hardly noticed the tears flowing down my face. Your site is a testament to the infinity of parents' love for their children.
The picture of Lance placing his hand on his father's head is incredibly touching.
Thank you for sharing Lance with us, and I am sorry for your immense loss.
-Patricia
Patricia
Studio City, ca USA - Friday, August 4, 2006 2:36 PM CDT
<3
anonymous
- Thursday, August 3, 2006 10:14 AM CDT
Justine,
I ache for your loss. Read about you in the "Angels" magazine...you should be proud that you had such a wonderful child if only for a short time. He's brought people together even in his passing. Although I can't profess to know how you feel, I do have two boys that I'll hug a little tighter tonight and tell them I love them more often! God be with you ...
C. Cosner <ccosner@austin.rr.com>
Austin , Tx USA - Wednesday, August 2, 2006 10:00 AM CDT
I've never even met Lance...but from what I've read on his site he seems like a very caring great person. I am very blessed to have read this and realized how lucky most people have it. You have my condulences. Thank you for posting Lance's site on iTunes, it's a great way for people to really realize their luck in not having such great, heartbreaking losses.
Anonymous
- Tuesday, August 1, 2006 7:41 PM CDT
Hello, I was just looking around on the web and saw your ipod page. Reading all about Lance gave me tears in my eyes. My uncle just passed in October of 2005 and that was heart breaking to me. After reading all of this, I would never want to feel the pain you had/have. Justine, even though I don't know you. You're in my thoughts and prays day and night. God Bless you and the life you brought into this world.
Emily
- Monday, July 31, 2006 10:20 PM CDT
Dear Justine
I pray that you are leaning on God to carry you through. He is there even when it seems otherwise. I am certain he takes away our pain when we ask. May he give you strength and wisdom to move forward. You are one courageous lady. Thank you for sharing your heart with the world. Your words have touched so many and remember that this world is not your final destination. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS, Amen
Louise <eldridgelouise@yahoo.com>
bangor, me usa - Monday, July 31, 2006 2:38 PM CDT
Hello,
This is Christian Andreason... I am one of the artists you have on your i-pod music collection. The song of mine that you have included is, "Call My Name."
I just wanted to send you my Love today
and to let you know that your family
and beloved son are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for making me a part of such a
wonderful tribute!
May Your Lives Be Filled With Much Love, Laughter and Light!
Always!!!
God Bless...
Christian Andreason <Christian@AllAboutChristian.com>
Houston, Texas USA - Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:51 PM CDT
I followed the link from Itunes as well. I've been crying my eyes out as I read everything. God bless you, your son is watching over you.
Paula
- Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:34 PM CDT
I feel for you. I followed your link on iTunes. I love the music! I am praying for you. Best of luck to you. And know in your heart you will see him again. Never forget him.
Marissa
Lomita, CA USA - Friday, July 28, 2006 4:14 AM CDT
Followed your link from iTunes as well. My heart goes out to you, my own son is 13 now and is a cancer survivor, diagnosed at 9. He was at MD Anderson and made 7 close friends while attending school and treatments there....he and one other are the only ones still alive, and the other child is severely handicapped now. I'm terrified even though he is healthy. I haven't cried like this in so long. Hang in there Mom, your son is beautiful. Don't lose your strength now.
Ananda
The Woodlands, Tx USA - Wednesday, July 26, 2006 9:11 PM CDT
Hello, I always felt a connection to your son I never met. I moved away to the east coast... my lose. He died on my birthday.
Gary (dr52pepper)
Oley, PA USA - Tuesday, July 25, 2006 7:44 PM CDT
PLEASE PRAY FOR MY DAUGHTER JUSTINE, TODAY..PLEASE, AS SHE I FACING ANOTHER TRIAL WHICH MAKES NO SENSE..BUT SHE SUFFERS..PLEASE PRAY FOR HER ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO STOP BY AT HER SITE..THANK YOU HER MOM
KATHY MELLEN <KJEANMELLEN@AOL.COM>
STAYTON, OR USA - Tuesday, July 25, 2006 6:56 PM CDT
for all of you who read and send messages to my daughter,,please pray for her today as she is facing something that does not make sense but for some reason it is there and it is hurting her..please pray for justine
kathy mellen <kjeanmellen@aol.com>
stayton , or usa - Tuesday, July 25, 2006 6:52 PM CDT
Hi, thank you so much for having these songs on itunes i just downloaded like five of them, i'm only 18 years old and i've lost both of my parents, my dad has been gone for 3 years and my mom for only 4 months, and my mom was my BEST FRIEND and its hard to say their both gone but i just know that one day i will see them again, just like your going to see lance again, but i want to thank you so much for these songs.
Chad <chadwick1414@aol.com>
Mobile, AL United States - Tuesday, July 25, 2006 0:51 AM CDT
Hi, I just saw your link to this site on iTunes. I cannot begin to understand what it is like to survive a child who has gone home to be with our Lord. I will be praying for you and thank you for sharing your Jesus Saves picks with all who are on iTunes. My father, who lost his life to cancer once told me, God sometimes picks the best flowers for His garden. I found comfort in that. Your son was so blessed by God, the poems he wrote, and I can just really feel both your hearts in this website. Thank you again, Nette
Nette Long
Hemet, CA USA - Monday, July 24, 2006 7:59 PM CDT
LITTLE BOY BLUE
by Eugene Field
The little toy dog is covered with dust,
But sturdy and staunch he stands;
And the little toy soldier is red with rust,
And his musket moulds in his hands.
Time was when the little toy dogwas new,
And the soldier was passing fair;
And that was time when our Little Boy Blue
Kissed them and put them there.
"Now, don't you go till I come," he said,
"And don't you make any noise!"
So, toddling off to his trundle-bed,
He dreamt of the pretty toys;
And, as he was dreaming, an angel song
Awakened our Little Boy Blue---
Oh! the years are many, the years are long,
But the little toy friends are true!
Ay, faithful to Little Boy Blue they stand
Each in the same old place---
Awaiting the touch of a little hand,
The smile of a little face;
And they wonder, as waiting the long years through
In the dust of that little chair,
What has becomed of our Little Boy Blue,
Since he kissed them and put them there.
Thought you might like this poem
P.S. "Believe" by Brooks and Dunn is a very inspirational song
Blake Yoder
- Monday, July 24, 2006 10:20 AM CDT
I downloaded many of the songs from your IMix. What a wonderful tribute to Lance. It's 1 am and I have been reading Lances site on Caringbridge for an hour, crying my eyes out. It is so hard to understand why bad things happen to good people, but I trust in God that someday we will understand. My granddaughter was diagnosed with retinoblastoma at 3 months and also has a caringbridge site (babysophia). My heart just goes out to you as you carry on with beautiful memories of your precious son. Thank you for sharing this most personal story.
C Van Hoy
Birmingham, AL USA - Saturday, July 22, 2006 1:28 AM CDT
Hi Justine, just stopping by to say hello! Lots of itunes mail! I hope that you are well. Love all the beautiful photos~ Hope your having a great summer!
Love, Ellen and the kids
Scott A., Kathleen, Sean and Heather
http://www.caringbridge.org/ma/seanhanson
Ellen Hanson <ehanson89@aol.com>
Cape Cod, Ma - Thursday, July 20, 2006 11:48 PM CDT
I saw your iMix on iTunes and thought you should know of a great song you can add to it by a band called "Death Cab for Cutie", the song is titled "I'll Follow You Into The Dark", I think you could really appreciate where the singer is coming from in his song.
Wilco
Kingston, NY USA - Monday, July 17, 2006 3:17 PM CDT
I found this site via iTunes as well. I remember sitting in the car after my aunt's funeral--she died of cancer, too-- while my sister and I listened to David Gray. I just wanted to say that although it is not God's will for anyone suffer or die from cancer, your precious little boy is in Jesus's arms right now. And one day, you will all be together again. I pray that the Lord will comfort you in your grief and that He continues to give you the strength to take it one day at a time.
Patton Roden <pattonevansroden@gmail.com>
Seattle, WA USA - Saturday, July 15, 2006 4:04 PM CDT
I, too, found your website via ITunes and I just cried and cried. I can't imagine the grief and pain of losing my child. And Lance is such an incredibly beautiful child. I just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you. And even though it's been three years, I'm sure it's like yesterday. I wish you love, happiness and wings to fly above the pain and reach the joy of having known such a wonderful human being! And I wish you the inner peace of knowing your son is with God and the angels and will never suffer again.
Kim Archer <two.scoops@gmail.com>
Broken Arrow, OK USA - Friday, July 14, 2006 1:09 PM CDT
Hello i am very familiar with this cancer and i to lost a family member a long time ago i only hope that one day you will be happy because we can only survive on the futre not the past i am in no way saying forget about your son but only trying to give you the push that someone gave me to finally cope I wish you and your family the best of luck.
Helen
- Friday, July 14, 2006 0:04 AM CDT
Hello. I really don't know what to say here, i just felt that it would be right to show some sympathy. I am deeply sorry for your loss.
William James <laxaddict11@aol.com>
Worthington , Ohio United States of America - Wednesday, July 12, 2006 9:30 PM CDT
Your iTunes iMixes brought me to this site. May you continue to feel the peace and love that is from above. Thank you for sharing such a touching story.
Lois
RPB, Fl USA - Wednesday, July 12, 2006 7:58 AM CDT
Dear Justine,
My heart goes out to you tonight as I found your website for Lance through Itunes. I don't know what to say and I don't have the words...I just pray that the peace of the Lord be with you tonight and bless your heart with sweet sleep. It is not your fault what happened to Lance and he knows that you did everything that you could for him! He loves you, and he is safe now with Jesus in Heaven. You don't need to be in a hurry to see him again because Heaven is for eternity, and he will be there forever! God Bless You and your family tonight.
Alice
Kirtland, OH USA - Tuesday, July 11, 2006 11:45 PM CDT
I would just like to communicate how touched I was when I read your son's story. I was left heartbroken, but your strength is so admirable that there aren't any words in the English language that could properly express my admiration. I know your son is looking down from heaven with a smile on his face; his spirit lives on through you. Thank you for sharing your special son's story with me through your website and the itunes mixes.
Madeline Dolfinger
Madison, WI USA - Tuesday, July 11, 2006 1:51 AM CDT
I, like so many others, have recently found this site on iTunes. What better ways to express the deepest of human emotions than through writing, pictures, and music. My younger sister (she's fourteen now, almost fifteen) also suffers from a rare but deadly illness, and as each day in our lives passes, I appreciate even more pages like this that remind me that when the time comes, she will have friends like your son in heaven, and I will have friends like you. Thank you.
A Touched Sybling
Santa Cruz/Santa Clara, CA USA - Monday, July 10, 2006 9:01 PM CDT
Hello Justine! I came across your story on ITunes...I have a friend who lost his 13yr. old son to neuroblastoma just last year. He is an amazing person who not only lost his son, but his wife and daughter also. He has a website...tomzuba.com. It is a wonderful retreat for those who have lost love in their lives. I encourage you to visit. I know you will find some peace there! God Bless You always!
Sandy Hill <sahill@insightbb.com>
Rockford, IL - Monday, July 10, 2006 3:41 PM CDT
I found "Lance's List" on itunes. I visited Lance's website and read all the lovely postings. I will pray for you and your family and, most of all I wish you peace.
Katie <shopsbunches@comcast.net>
Nashville, TN USA - Sunday, July 9, 2006 12:36 AM CDT
Hello Lances Mom,
My name is Sara and im just writing to say that i too had this cancer. I was diagnosed at about 4 years old and had only a 10% chance of living. I still remember my friends in the hospital, who were my age. I only know of one other who survived, but we have lost contact. Now, about 13 years later, i am cancer free. You, like my parents and all other cancer parents, are heroes and have to put up with the hardest of times. I know Lance would be proud of his family for all the wonderful times and the loving support. God bless you. I hope to hear from you in the future maybe :) Love, Sara
Sara <sarasseeinstars@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, July 6, 2006 5:00 PM CDT
You and Lance are inspiration to all of us.
Live well, laugh much, love often.
T.G.
Chicago, IL - Tuesday, July 4, 2006 2:55 PM CDT
God Bless you
Sean Ainsworth <reconsean20@yahoo.com>
CA - Tuesday, July 4, 2006 1:17 AM CDT
You are an absolutely wonderful mother! What a beautiful tribute to BEAUTIFUL Lance. Wishing you peace...I ran across your itunes list.
Karrie <karriekathleen@yahoo.com>
- Monday, July 3, 2006 1:38 PM CDT
Hi from LANCE'S MOM :)
I just want to say thank you for visiting Lance's page and the outpouring of love to him and to me, I can not even tell you how much it means to me and also Lance's family who loves him dearly and misses him every waking moment.
God Bless you all, and have a happy and SAFE 4th of July holiday!
Hugs!
Justine, mom to angel Lance www.caringbridge.org/page/lance <justine.saylors@mac.com>
- Saturday, July 1, 2006 0:19 AM CDT
I cannot imagine what it would be like to experience a loss like this, but I think the page you created is beautiful and a reminder to us all of how precious life is.
Rachel Johnson <rjohnson@earthlink.net>
Greensboro, NC USA - Friday, June 30, 2006 8:19 PM CDT
Hello, I came across your site via the i-tunes store. I too lost my son to cancer only 9 short months ago and the pain is still so deep. I am active duty Air Force & currently deployed to Southwest Asia in support of Operation Iraqui Freedom and wanted to download some songs that gave me alone time to mourn my son and your mixes were perfect. It is very sad that their as so many parents suffering the loss of a child. I heard a saying that I am trying to prove wrong but many days feels true "when you lose a parent you erase the past and when you lose a child it erases your future. He was my one and only child and God I guess needed him more than me but boy that means he needed him pretty bad. I am so glad I found you, my son too has a site www3.caringbridge.org/ne/cavion , feel free to visit anytime and may God Bless you and heal your pain.
Danielle
Saudi Arabia - Wednesday, June 28, 2006 11:43 PM CDT
I, like many others learned of Lance through iTunes. What a remarkable mother you are. As a mother myself, I feel such sorrow for your loss and such anger as well. The songs you chose brought out strong emotions and thru your journal and the pictures, it just was so touching. I learned a valuable lesson that you probably never intended on teaching, but that is that I will value and cherish my childrens lives, even the three year old tantrums. Simply because tomorrow is not guaranteed. I am very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your life and Lances life with so many others.
Rebecca Morgan <sunnybecca@hotmail.com>
Santa Rosa, CA USA - Tuesday, June 27, 2006 9:41 PM CDT
After reading your journal and listening to the songs you chose in Lance's memory, I truly believe you were the best mother that your precious son, Lance, could ever have needed or wanted. You'll be with him again one day..when it's time. Thank you for such a loving and touching story...I will pray for you and your family. What a handsome and caring boy!
Kathleen Austin <kathtype@aol.com>
Castleton, NY USA - Sunday, June 25, 2006 1:30 AM CDT
Found your site through iTunes. So sorry for your loss but try to remember this separation is only temporary...you will be together again in a far better place!
Ronnie <engine9119@bellsouth.net>
Mt. Pleasant, SC USA - Saturday, June 24, 2006 8:18 PM CDT
Typing through my tears, I wish you and your family peace of mind. Your beautiful boy has been a gift to all of us who are reading your story...thank you. From this Mom of boys, to Lance's Mom, I'm sending a huge hug and all the best.
Nancy
Baltimore, MD USA - Saturday, June 24, 2006 3:13 PM CDT
Thank you for sharing your beautiful son with me. I will look very much forward to meeting him someday.
Gaylene Clark
Honolulu, HI - Friday, June 23, 2006 8:11 AM CDT
Justine, I was guided to Lance's page through iTunes. What an amazing boy! God's most precious gift is the children he gives us. God gave you Lance because he knew you were strong, and he knew you would provide the love and care that Lance needed. You have (and continue to) fulfill God's wishes. God will reward you by reuniting you with your son. The short time you are without him here on Earth will be meniscule compared to the time you will have with him in Eternity. God bless you and your family. If I could give you a big e-hug, here it is...
TJ
Atlanta, GA - Tuesday, June 20, 2006 9:03 AM CDT
I am so sorry for your loss. Your son's story is so touching. I can't imagine what you are going through since I'm only seventeen and have no children of my own, but I have lost several members of my family to cancer in only the past five years. The one thing that comforts me is knowing that they are no longer in pain and are with God. It is obvious from your son's story that he is a good soul and is now at peace. You and your family are in my prayers.
Cali Elliott
Magnet Cove, AR - Tuesday, June 20, 2006 4:00 AM CDT
i am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how it feels but I am praying for you!
g.r.
- Sunday, June 18, 2006 9:50 AM CDT
Your son is amazing. He must have gotten that from his mother.
Mario Durand <mariodurand@hotmail.com>
Oak Park, ca usa - Sunday, June 18, 2006 1:16 AM CDT
I just came across your itunes playlist and read your story. I just finished with a moment of prayer for you. Prayer works as you already know. God bless you.
Jeff Downs <downs4@insightbb.com>
- Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:15 PM CDT
I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine any pain greater than that of losing a child. I'm so sorry.
You've created a beautiful and moving tribute to your son. It will take time, but you and your family will heal, Lance wouldn't want it any other way.
Good night and God bless.
Sara <gunga4@hotmail.com>
Jefferson, OR USA - Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:29 AM CDT
I just came across your site and wanted to say I am sorry to read of your son's passing.
Tina & Lance <lancejrmommy@comcast.net>
- Monday, June 12, 2006 9:27 PM CDT
Hi. I saw your i-mix on Itunes, and Lance seeme like a real gem. Stay strong, and some day, you will be able to see him again.
James Owens
- Monday, June 12, 2006 9:54 AM CDT
I can't imagine how much love, braveness and strenght there must be in this family. I am sitting here crying and I never even knew Lance. I hope he is in a better place.
Daniel Stamm
Los Angeles, CA USA - Monday, June 12, 2006 7:55 AM CDT
Hi,
I saw your iMixes on iTunes and all of the songs were so inspirational so I decided to Check out Lance's story. He seems so inspirational as you are yourself. I hope you reach as many people as you can and when i am an adult and have children I hope I can be half as great a parent as you are.
Truly Inspired,
Jordan
Jordan Dodderer <JTownStud_09@hotmail.com>
Johnstown, OH United States of America - Saturday, June 10, 2006 10:05 PM CDT
I, too, found your site through your iMixes, which are beautiful. Lance died one hour, to the minute, before my daughter was born. I like to believe that maybe their souls met somewhere along their journeys. Thank you for your story, and may God always comfort you when you need it most.
Michelle <michmeehan@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, June 10, 2006 1:47 PM CDT
Lance is a beautiful soul. I know one day you'll be with him again. Thank you for allowing me to visit, the poems and stories are so touching. I couldn't stop crying. I wish you peace and comfort for all of your days. Bless you!
Kim Rigsby
Leesburg, va - Friday, June 9, 2006 9:36 AM CDT
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