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Sunday, March 4, 2012 10:02 PM CST
I hate Sundays. I am not supposed to say that but I do. Sunday will forever be, to me, the day my daughter died.
It's been over 5 years. Five years. It is still so fresh in my mind. I have done everything I can to not be so negative about this day. But, really, how can I possibly make it anything but?? I have tried resting, rejoicing, worshipping, forgetting, remembering. I have tried to pretend it's another day, tried to make it a special day. Tried to make it what is is and deal with it. From the moment I wake up until I fall asleep, I am battling how to make it through the day. But all I feel is restless. I can't sit still. I have no energy to do anything at all but yet have this strange enerygy that allows me no rest. I am sad. Happiness mocks me. My heart is beating so fast, yet I can hardly take a step. I just want Elizabeth back. I hate cancer. I hate that it stole my baby girl from me. Hate that it created such ugliness in our life. Hate that it is still out there, ready to strike again, and again again. And does.
I have a friend who also lost her daughter, and she said once that for therapy she just runs. Runs and runs and runs. I am doing that. Yet the more I run the more tired I feel, and then I am too weak to fight the fatigue that comes from grief. I am tired if I run. I am exhausted when I don't run. When will this end?
Lizziegirl, I love you so much. I so want to be the strong person you were. I miss you so much. I don't know how this happened. I want to go back in time and bring you back to us. Miss you and love you with all of my heart and more...Mama
Saturday, October 29, 2011 0:19 AM CDT
Five years ago today we said goodbye to Elizabeth. I just cannot believe it. In some ways it feels like I was just talking to her, and in others, well, it feels like forever.
Life for us has changed so much. Changes that I know Lizzie would loved to have been a part of...Jessica is a senior now. We are researching colleges, looking into scholarships, taking senior pictures and checking things off the list much too quickly. Before we know it she will be packing her bags and setting out on her new life. It's all happening much too soon.
Abby is in her last year of middle school, but already has one foot out the door. A free spirit, she is always looking for the next great adventure. I can see Lizzie's zest for life in Abby's eyes.
And Kaylie....Miss Kaylie is Lizzie all over again. I swear Lizzie sent some of her spirit into Kaylie. She looks like her, acts like her, sounds like her. There are times she will do something and Joe and I just look at each other, knowing we just heard Lizziegirl.
We all have kept going, somehow. A friend asked me the other day how we are all managing, and I said that "life is good, except..." Everything we do, every big moment, every small moment, there is a feeling of happiness, except Lizzie isn't here...today was fun, except Lizzie wasn't here. Today we enjoyed this...except Lizzie wasn't here. Nothing is exactly right without her. Nothing will ever be quite right again. She was a big, beautiful part of us, and without her, there will always be a void, a sadness, a loss. We all miss her so very much.
Five years ago we said goodbye...and we have spent every moment since remembering, loving, and missing you. We will search the sky for eagles, rainbows, butterflies, angels, anything that will let us know that you are close.
I love you baby girl...more than words can ever say...
Sunday, August 14, 2011 8:44 AM CDT
Yesterday was the 5th Annual Lizzie Stratton Memorial Run (check out the new photos). The day started out beautiful, then as it got closer to start time dark clouds began pushing their way towards us. As Father Matt led us in prayer, a few drops of rain began to fall on our runners, and as they made their way to the finish line a pretty steady fall pushed them to run a little faster. I was so nervous that people would pack up and leave and the run would be over. But they didn't. They waited out the storm, ran through the rain and stayed till the end, showing us their support and love. So much like when Lizzie was sick. No matter what the conditions are, people who love Lizzie and are inspired by her will be there to show that they continue to live life with Lizzie in mind. We didn't get any rainbows yesterday, but we were reminded again of all of the lessons Lizzie taught us. Thank you, Lizziegirl, for continuing to teach us all to live strong, LizzieStyle. Love you baby girl, with all of my heart. We miss you more each day, and can't wait till the time when we are reunited.
A huge thank you to everyone who worked so hard to make the memorial run happen, to all of the people who came out and supported the run, to all who participated, to our sponsors, to Jessica for designing the tshirts this year - the best so far! - to Father Matt who gave the prayer/blessing and helped me take pictures at the finish line, and to Kearney Catholic for allowing us to have this event every year. We are so grateful to each and every one of you!
Thursday, May 12, 2011 11:30 AM CDT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET ELIZABETH
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
"If heaven weren't so far away..."
I'd hug you and never let you go...I'd sit and talk with you...I'd go for a walk with you, sit and watch a movie with you...scrapbook with you, listen to music with you...if heaven weren't so far away...I'd simply be with you...
We love you so much baby girl. We are sending you some balloons today, we are going to eat your favorite meal for supper tonight, and we will remember your sweet spirit, your beautiful smile, your contagious laugh. Always and every day. Happy 19th birthday, angel.
Friday, April 1, 2011 10:53 AM CDT
Happy Carpe Diem everyone! It has been 9 years since Lizzie was diagnosed with cancer. I just cannot believe that number. I sit here at the computer wanting to write something profound and wise, something Lizzie-like, but I just can't find the words. The truth is, life without Lizziegirl is extremely hard. We all continue to carry on with our lives, but each day is met with deep sadness and heaviness.
Today is the annual St. Jude Radioathon. A very dear friend of mine suggested we honor Lizzie's strength by going up to the mall where it is held and being a part of the phone bank. My first thought was, "is she crazy?? I could never do that! Just thinking about the radioathon brings me to tears, I can't imagine actually taking phone calls!" But the more I thought about it, I realized that she was thinking very much like Lizzie would have. Of course it will be hard. But Lizzie faced "hard" everyday for over 4 years, and she never once tried to avoid it. Going up there, being a part of an amazing, touching event would be exactly what Lizzie would do, and did. So, to honor our brave, strong girl, I, along with a few close friends, are going to face the 'hard' and LiveStrong with the Y102 and St. Jude crew. Lizziegirl, this is for you. I miss you more and more with each passing day. Love you, baby girl...mama
Tuesday, January 11, 2011 4:24 PM CST
I am writing this post on behalf of Lizzie, on behalf of every child who has battled cancer, on behalf of every family member who has watched their brother, sister, niece, nephew, son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter or friend go through this horrible journey.
TEAM LIZZIE will be participating in the CureSearch Walk on May 14th in Des Moines, Iowa."The CureSearch Walk celebrates and honors children whose lives have been affected by childhood cancer, while raising funds for lifesaving research. You can help us by encouraging your friends, family, co-workers and community to champion our cause."
In the past, TEAM LIZZIE has not been about fundraising. It has been about raising awareness and spreading the word about our Mighty Miracle, our Lizziegirl, who loved to live and wanted everyone else to, also. And we've done a very good job of that, I think. In May of 2007, 6 friends set out to "run for Lizzie". Just one year later, we had 40 members on our 'TEAM', and now we have well over 100 members strong.
But I think it's time to shift gears a little. Every day a child is diagnosed with cancer. Every day a mother buries her child due to this "bully".
Due to much promotion and recognition, the world turns pink every October in honor of breast cancer awareness. As a result, the survival rates for breast cancer have risen. It's beyond time to turn the world gold, to raise awareness and money to fund research that will go directly to childhood cancer.
Please consider joining our TEAM in May in Des Moines. Even if you haven't been a part of TEAM LIZZIE in the past, you can still join and be a part of this important event. If you are interested in joining please go to the website, email me, or find me on Facebook. We would love to have a huge TEAM LIZZIE showing in Des Moines!
If you would like to help but will not be able to be in Des Moines, you can sign up to be a "Virtual Walker". Or you can sponsor one of our current team members. Thank you for considering this!
http://www.curesearchwalk.org/desmoines/teamlizzie
More info to follow concerning TEAM LIZZIE and turning the world gold (the color for childhood cancer.)
LiveStrong, everyone!
Monday, November 1, 2010 4:59 PM CDT
"If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song..."
Tomorrow is the anniversary of my daughter's funeral...those words still ring untrue to me...how can she be gone? I remember waking up, knowing it would be the last day I would see her, get to touch her sweet skin, hold her small hand...
"...Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no ain't even grey, but she buries her baby..."
We covered her with several blankets...didn't want her to be cold. After I thought, I didn't even put socks on her...what kind of mother am I? She always wore socks to bed...
"...The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time..."
Lizzie lived every moment to the fullest, but she loved living, loved life...it wasn't near enough time.
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar. They're worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’..."
I'm so grateful people still think of Lizzie and are affected by her life. I continue to receive emails from people who tell me they think of Lizzie with every rainbow, every butterfly, every eagle. They say she changed their life, that they'll never be the same after knowing our sweet girl.
"The ballad of a dove, Go with peace and love, Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket, Save them for a time when your really gonna need 'em oh...
...If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh..."
Song words from 'If I Die Young' by The Band Perry
Lizziegirl...I'll be looking for a rainbow tomorrow, and an eagle, and a butterfly, and anything else that will make me feel like you are close by. I'll gather up my tears and sing you a love song. Love you baby girl...
Tuesday, October 26, 2010 1:40 PM CDT
Here we are again, facing this "angel-versary". How it's been almost four years I can't figure out. So much has changed since Lizzie was here with us. Jessica is driving and looking into colleges. Abby is in middle school and has a boyfriend (yikes). Kaylie is Lizzie all over again, and seems to realize it. She talks about Lizzie daily, wants to see pictures of her, talks to her, asks to go the "Park".
There is another sweet little girl fighting the same cancer Lizzie had. She was recently put on hospice. Reading her mother's journal entries, hearing about what she is going through, this time of the year, just completely takes me back 4 years ago. My heart aches with the old feelings of fear, anger, fatigue, and sadness. Here I am, 4 years into my "grieving cycle" and I don't feel any more at peace. The old saying, 'time heals' is a bunch of crap. Each day that goes by is just another day that I didn't get to see my daughter. It's just another day for my heart to break.
Please take the time to hold your children a little closer today. If you can do that, you are blessed. And if you happen to think of Lizzie on Friday, and next Tuesday (the anniversary of her funeral), please do something in honor of our Mighty Miracle, our sweet little angel who loved to live.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010 1:47 PM CDT
Aahhh October. You are such a bittersweet month for me. You hold so many memories, both good and bad. Precious time with my Lizziegirl: going to school together, eating spaghetti and watching Gilmore Girls, lots (but not near enough) of snuggle time, scrapbooking, football games...
We celebrate Jessica's life this month; I gave birth to my 2nd child in October, almost 16 years ago (WOW). I ran my first marathon in October. We took Lizzie's Wish Trip in October. Lizzie's AFP levels were normal and (we thought) she was done with cancer in October 2002. I love the scent of Autumn, the feel of Fall. The way a crisp breeze kisses my skin and sends leaves dancing down the street. The excitement of the upcoming holidays, the anticipation of snow.
But you are such a cruel month too. The date October 29 will forever be the one of the worst days of my life. The day my Lizziegirl was taken from me. As the nights grow colder so do the memories. The pain and suffering, the knowledge that time was getting short. October is the month we said goodbye.
This October is a busy one for us. Jessica is in Color Guard so every weekend we have parades. It's so fun to watch her twirl her flag and march down the street. I'm sure Lizzie is marching right beside her, so proud of her little sister. Jessica will turn 16 on the 12th and we are throwing her a big party - plans are well underway for that. Every trip to Hobby Lobby provides a sense that Lizzie is right there with us, guiding us through the planning, something she loved to do.
We are truly blessed with many reminders of Lizzie everyday; butterflies, rainbows, eagles, roses. But our greatest reminder is Kaylie. She talks about Lizzie everyday. She draws rainbows and butterflies constantly, last week she wrote a letter to her, and sent it up to heaven on a pink balloon (Kaylie's favorite color). She'll look up from what she is doing from time to time and announce that Lizzie is here. She questions God and death and cancer. She is only 7. But she seems to have Lizzie's wisdom.
So, October. Armed with precious memories and life's celebrations, I will face you head-on. I will live my life Lizziestyle, embracing each day as best I can while keeping my sweet angel as close as heaven allows.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010 1:47 PM CDT
Aahhh October. You are such a bittersweet month for me. You hold so many memories, both good and bad. Precious time with my Lizziegirl: going to school together, eating spaghetti and watching Gilmore Girls, lots (but not near enough) of snuggle time, scrapbooking, football games...
We celebrate Jessica's life this month; I gave birth to my 2nd child in October, almost 16 years ago (WOW). I ran my first marathon in October. We took Lizzie's Wish Trip in October. Lizzie's AFP levels were normal and (we thought) she was done with cancer in October 2002. I love the scent of Autumn, the feel of Fall. The way a crisp breeze kisses my skin and sends leaves dancing down the street. The excitement of the upcoming holidays, the anticipation of snow.
But you are such a cruel month too. The date October 29 will forever be the one of the worst days of my life. The day my Lizziegirl was taken from me. As the nights grow colder so do the memories. The pain and suffering, the knowledge that time was getting short. October is the month we said goodbye.
This October is a busy one for us. Jessica is in Color Guard so every weekend we have parades. It's so fun to watch her twirl her flag and march down the street. I'm sure Lizzie is marching right beside her, so proud of her little sister. Jessica will turn 16 on the 12th and we are throwing her a big party - plans are well underway for that. Every trip to Hobby Lobby provides a sense that Lizzie is right there with us, guiding us through the planning, something she loved to do.
We are truly blessed with many reminders of Lizzie everyday; butteflies, rainbows, eagles, roses. But our greatest reminder is Kaylie. She talks about Lizzie everyday. She draws rainbows and butterflies constantly, last week she wrote a letter to her, and sent it up to heaven on a pink balloon (Kaylie's favorite color). She'll look up from what she is doing from time to time and announce that Lizzie is here. She questions God and death and cancer. She is only 7. But she seems to have Lizzie's wisdom.
So, October. Armed with precious memories and life's celebrations, I will face you head-on. I will live my life Lizziestyle, embracing each day as best I can while keeping my sweet angel as close as heaven allows.
Sunday, August 15, 2010 11:11 AM CDT
We had another beautiful day for a run yesterday. So many people turned out to honor Elizabeth in the 4th Annual Lizzie Stratton Memorial Run. We were surrounded by wonderful friends and family, and we celebrated Lizzie's courageous spirit. Thank you to everyone who participated, everyone who drove long distances, got up early, and ran/walked mile by mile, Lizziestyle.
I want to give a special shout-out to my mama, Gale, and my brother, Wayne. They both really wanted to be here yesterday but couldn't, so they held their own Lizzie 5k in New Mexico, completing the distance together. Thanks, guys, for taking Team Lizzie to New Mexico! Way to go!
The highlight of yesterday, besides the beautiful day, the wonderful turn-out, and the chance to be with family and friends, supporting a wonderful school: at the end of the Kid's 1 mile Fun Run, as the kids were starting to come to the finish line, a huge butterfly joined us! It was just perfect, exactly where Lizzie would have been, with the kids. I just know she was there with us, taking it all in, appreciating the way everyone was celebrating her life.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who continue to help us make this day possible - all of our sponsors, our volunteers, our participants. Also, to Moonlight Printing who create our beautiful banners and t-shirts. You guys are the best!
Lizzie, Daddy and I cannot believe it's almost been 4 years. We miss you more each day. We hope you know how much we love you, and continue to wait for the day we get to see you again. Love you, baby girl.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010 5:21 PM CDT
The 4th Annual Lizzie Stratton Memorial Run is Saturday, August 14th at 8:30 a.m. followed by the Kid's 1 Mile Fun Run at 9:30 a.m. Register now to honor Elizabeth and support the school she loved. All money raised will be used to fund activities for KCHS students. Email me for more info. samistratton@hotmail.com
Wednesday, May 12, 2010 7:54 AM CDT
To My Beautiful Daughter, on her 18th Birthday
You are irreplaceable...
"...God not only loves you very much
but also has put His hand on you
for something special."
1 Thessalonians 1:4
You are chosen...
"...Even before He made the world,
God chose us to be His very own through
what Christ would do..."
Ephesians 1:4
You are treasured...
"...God, your God, chose you...
as a cherished, personal treasure."
Deuteronomy 7:6
You truly are as beautiful as God sees you -
and your life is celebrated with love today.
Thanking God for you on your birthday.
from DaySpring Cards
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Elizabeth...
Happy birthday to you...
We love you honey. We miss you so much.
Have a fantastic celebration today, LizzieStyle!
Love, Mama, Daddy, Jessica, Abby and Kaylie
Friday, May 7, 2010 4:04 PM CDT
Dear Elizabeth,
What a whopper of a week we have coming up. Sunday is Mother's Day, which is hard enough, but it's also the day of your high school graduation. Right on the heels of that we have your 18th birthday on Wednesday. I feel like I'm on the edge of crumbling. I went to the store to buy some graduation decorations for your Park. The store was busy with frantic moms, all hurried and frazzled, tearing through the items, checking things off their list. I stood amongst them all and cried. I'm sure they thought I was crazy.
We've been invited to many of your friend's celebrations. Daddy and I talked about it and we just can't do it. I'm so glad they all included us, and I hate not going. I want to be strong like you and do things even though they are hard, and do them with grace. But the reality is, if I go to these parties, I will only be able to cry. And then that would make everyone sad, and they shouldn't be sad. They should be celebrating this huge milestone in their life, excited to take on the next challenge of their lives. So we have decided to stay home and quietly get through the weekend. I hope they all understand. We are so proud of them all, and wish them the best of luck.
So, Lizziegirl, I'm sitting here, remembering all of the years we were blessed to have you in our lives. I shed a million tears for each year we had you, and for each year we've lost. You brought us so much joy. You are missed so very, very much. What I wouldn't do to hear your voice again. I love you baby girl.
Love,
Mama
Monday, May 3, 2010 9:16 AM CDT
What a beautiful day we had yesterday! Lizzie gave us blue skies, a shining sun and wonderful friends to surround us and get us through the miles. It was a great feeling to see so many people running with Lizzie in mind yesterday, so many people lining the streets of Lincoln to cheer on their family and friends, and so many people asking, "Who is Lizzie?"
During the Chicago Marathon, I had Katie, a wonderful running partner and dear friend with me for the first 2 hours. She kept me motivated, pointing out Lizzie signs and helping me smile through the miles. And later, when the pain was overwhelming and each step excruciating, Joe stepped in and ran with me. Surrounded by so many people, it was a strange sensation to feel utter loneliness, but I did. I began to doubt myself, and everything started to break down. And then I looked up, and there was Joe, running beside me, urging me to keep going, getting me across the finish line.
Yesterday, in Lincoln, I was blessed again. Joe and I ran the first half together, enjoying the cheers for TEAM LIZZIE, taking pictures of a darling little Gnome around mile 9, and keeping a quiet company as we got through the miles. Then, around mile 16, when the pain started showing itself again, there was Jacque, another dear friend and wonderful running partner, running beside me, urging me to keep going, helping me through the rough spots.
We also had a little help from a butterfly who danced around us at mile 18 or so.
I feel very lucky to be surrounded by so many people. I just want to thank all of TEAM LIZZIE; runners, walkers, spectators, and family members who support our runners and walkers and spectators. It really means so much to Joe and I to get to continue to spread Lizzie's message of courage, gratitude and faith through our running group. Thanks for making it a great TEAM!
Congratulations to all of our first timers! Especially Jessica, who ran for her big sister, and finished her first half-marathon yesterday! Way to go Jess! Dad and I, and Lizzie, are very proud of you!
Also a big congrats to all who had PR's yesterday, and to everyone who conquered their own goals. We did it, mile by mile, LizzieStyle! Can't wait for the next one!
Monday, April 26, 2010 4:44 PM CDT
TEAM LIZZIE will be lining the streets of Lincoln in just a few more days! We have around 40 runners and walkers, with about 9 of us doing the full marathon. Our 1/2 marathoners will be in our traditional black and white, and our marathoners will be representing the rainbow. Thank you to everyone who has trained and committed to doing this, and to all of our spectators, our 'support crew'. It always means so much to Joe and I, but this year especially. Good luck to all TEAM LIZZIE runners/walkers this weekend! Remember to enjoy the moment, mile by mile, LizzieStyle. Let's go LiveStrong!
Lizzigirl, I will be wearing emerald green this year because it is your birthstone. With your 18th birthday right around the corner, it felt right to wear that color. Remember how every time you would look at jewelry, you'd look for the emerald green rings and necklaces? And when Granny gave you her emerald green bracelet? How excited you were to wear it? I have it now. I take it out every now and then and hold it and remember how your eyes lit up every time you wore it.
I will be running for you, baby girl.Please stay close, if you can. I love you. Mama
Monday, April 19, 2010 1:27 PM CDT
Congratulations to Shari Geiser! She just ran the Boston Marathon in honor of Lizzie! She did it "hill by hill with Lizzie's will". She finished in 3:41:41. Wow! Way to go Shari!
To read Shari's story,
‘Hill by hill with Lizzie’s will’ in Boston
www.kearneyhub.com
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 7:33 PM CDT
Kaylie just came running inside hollering for me. She had been outside swinging and singing 'Sweet Elizabeth' by Jolie Edwards. She said she was missing Lizzie. She looked up at the sky and suddenly "the clouds changed and they became Lizzie and she was holding my hand!"
Kaylie was 3 years old when Lizzie went to Heaven. 3 years old. She is now 6. But her memory of Lizzie is crystal clear. When she colors, she colors butterflies and rainbows. When she sings, it's 'Sweet Elizabeth'. She has dreams about Lizzie coming into her room at night and snuggling with her. We were at Lizzie's Park yesterday and she talked to her like she was there. She told me her hair is still brown and long. I think Kaylie is a perfect example of how to Live life with Lizzie in Mind, and how to Live Strong. She reminds me so much of her big sister at times.
Lizziegirl, I miss you so much I ache. I still cannot believe you are gone. You are my baby girl, and yet you are not here. I love you sweetheart. I hope you can feel my love...tomorrow I will wear yellow and try to remember only the happy times. All my love, forever and ever and more...Mama
I think I'll go outside and seize the day, look up at the clouds, and remember our Mighty Miracle.
Friday, March 26, 2010 8:30 AM CDT
I love this picture of Lizzie. She just looks so relaxed and happy.
Oh how I miss my girl! It's been over 3 years and the pain is still so present. I can't imagine going one more day without Lizzie here, in our lives. It's her senior year, and her friends just had prom. Now they are gearing up for graduation, and whatever comes next. It's so hard to see these kids. I saw some of Lizzie's classmates at Target a few days ago. They were shopping, laughing, texting, etc. I stopped in my tracks and just watched them. Wondering...who would Lizzie be friends with today? Would she have gone to prom with a date? What would her dress look like? Would her hair be long? How would she have worn it?
This is what I imagine...she probably would have gone with her girlfriends, had a great time dancing with them all, stayed up late and had the best time. Her dress would have been fashionable but simple, and she would have worn her long hair in an up-do. Make-up and jewelry on, nails painted, pretty shoes that she would have ditched within 30 minutes. She would have come home, exhausted but excited to share the details with me. Joe and I would have been waiting up. Joe would kiss her goodnight and leave the two of us to talk "girl stuff". Lizzie and I would have sat up, talking, she would tell me all about it. The cute boys, the pretty dresses, who was dancing with whom. The music, the decorations. She would have taken it all in, and cherished the memories forever.
Yesterday and today is the St. Jude Radiothon. This time of the year is so hard...it was 8 years ago that I woke up to John's voice on the radio talking about childhood cancer, never guessing that within days we would be thrown into that world viciously and forever. Every year I tell myself I won't listen, it's too hard. But, as always, I find myself drifting over to the radio and listening for as long as I can before I have to turn it off for awhile.
Next Thursday, April 1st, is Lizzie's Carpe Diem Day. The day she was diagnosed with cancer, the day she chose to celebrate life. We will be wearing yellow in her honor, celebrating life and remembering our Mighty Miracle.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010 3:59 PM CST
TEAM LIZZIE is raising money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation in honor of Lizzie's high school graduation. You can sponsor a runner by giving a certain amount of money per mile that they train for and run the Lincoln Half and Full Marathon, or you can make a flat donation. If you are interested at all, please email my hotmail account or on Facebook, or contact one of our TL runners.
In 2002 the Make-A-Wish Foundation made a dream come true for Lizzie. They sent our entire family to Chicago so Lizzie could enjoy a shopping spree at the American Girl Store. She spent a LOT of money in a very short amount of time, and had so much fun doing it. She was not the girl with cancer, the bald girl, the girl that had to go to the hospital week after week. For that day she was a woman on a mission, complete with a personal shopper and a list. We will always be so very grateful to the Make-A-Wish Foundation for giving Lizzie that wonderful gift, and for treating our entire family so generously to a weekend getaway, full of carefree fun and wishes fullfilled. We are grateful to be able to give back to them in this small way so another family can enjoy the same generosity. Thank you, Deena, a TEAM LIZZIE runner, for coming up with the idea and supplying us with the pledge forms.
Friday, January 29, 2010 7:57 AM CST
The Gap
by Michael Crelinsten
The gap between those who have lost children and those who have not is profoundly difficult to bridge. No one, whose children are well and intact can be expected to understand what parents who have lost children have absorbed, what they bear. Our daughter now comes to us through every blade of grass, every crack in the sidewalk, every bowl of breakfast cereal, every kid on a scooter. We seek contact with her atoms-her hairbrush, her toothbrush, her clothing. We reach for what was integrally woven into the fabric of our lives, now torn and shredded. What we had wanted, when she so suddenly took ill, was for her to be treated. We wanted her to be annoyed that her head had been shaved for surgery. We would have shaved ours and then watch her smile as we recovered together, whatever the nature of that recovery. "Recover" is no longer a part of our vocabulary. Now we simply walk through the noise and debris of our personal ground zero.
A black hole has been blown through our souls and indeed, it often does not allow the light to escape. It is a difficult place. For us to enter there is to be cut deeply, and torn anew, each time we go there, by the jagged edges of our loss. Yet we return again and again, for that is where she now resides.
This will be so for years to come and it will change us, profoundly. At some point in the distant future, the edges of that hole will have tempered and softened but the empty space will remain-a life sentence. It is not unlike a dog who, suddenly hit by a car, survives. The impact is devastating and leaves the animal in shock, confusion, and despair. In time the animal recovers adequately to spend the remainder of its life on three legs. It is not that he is unable, eventually, to function or even to laugh and play. The reality, however, is that on three legs from here on, every step he takes, every action, virtually every breath reminds him of what he has lost. We are that animal.
Our community of friends will change through this. There is no avoiding it. We grieve for our daughter, in part, through talking about her and our feelings for having lost her. Some go there with us, others cannot and, through their denial add a further measure, however unwittingly, to an already heavy burden. This was not a sprained ankle or major surgery that we suffered. Assuming that we may be feeling "better" six months later is simply "to not get it." The excruciating and isolating reality that bereaved parents feel is hermetically sealed from the nature of any other human experience. Thus it is a trap-those whose compassion and insight we most need are those for whom we abhor the experience that would allow them that sensitivity and capacity. And, yet, somehow, there are those, each in their own fashion, who have found a way to reach us and stay, to our immeasurable comfort. They have understood, again each in their own way, that Alexis remains our daughter through our memory of her. Her memory is sustained through speaking about her and our feelings about her death. Deny this and you deny her life. Deny her life and you have no place in ours. That's the equation. How different people have responded to our loss, or not, transcends a range of attitudes and personal histories. It is teaching us much about human capacity and experience, albeit at a searing price. Parents' memories of a lost child sustain that life. It should be the other way around.
We recognize that we have removed to an emotional place where it is often very difficult to reach us. Our attempts to be normal are painful and the day to day carries a silent, screaming anguish that accompanies us, sometimes from moment to moment. Were we to give it its own voice we fear we would become truly unreachable, and so we remain "strong" for a host of reasons even as the strength saps our energy and drains our will. Were we to act out our true feelings we would be impossible to be with. We resent having to act normal, yet we dare not do otherwise. People who understand this dynamic are our gold standard. Working our way through this over the years will change us as does every experience-and extreme experience changes one extremely. We know we will have recovered when, as we have read, it is no longer so painful to be normal. We do not know who we will be at that point or who will still be with us.
There will come a time, quite some number of years down the road, when the balance between the desperate awareness of what we have lost when our daughter died will be somewhat balanced by the warm and joyful memories of what we had with her when she lived. I neither long for nor cringe from that time. It will simply come. We will recognize it-though now it is beyond us.
So, yes, our beloved daughter is gone-a light in our lives gone out leaving blackness for us, left behind, to stumble through. And, while we understand and deeply feel the meaning of our phrase "Now we are it by her only from within," we hope, desperately, that she is wherever the light is. We are trying to understand what this means, as we seek our own way, for the remainder of our lives, to some kind of light. We love our son and are trying to breathe.
We have read that the gap is so difficult that, often, bereaved parents must attempt to reach out to friends and relatives or risk losing them. This is our attempt. For those untarnished by such events, who wish to know in some way what they, thankfully, do not know, read this. It may provide a window that is helpful for both sides of the gap.
Sunday, January 3, 2010 4:17 PM CST
2010. So hard to believe this year is here. It was supposed to be very different. The year Elizabeth would turn 18 years old. The year she would graduate.
As we turn to a new decade, a new year, Lizzie's senior year, we are just 5 months away from the time she is supposed to graduate from high school. We have been robbed of this busy, magical time. I feel bitter and angry, fresh waves of grief washing over me. So, like so many other times, I will turn to my favorite form of therapy: running.
In October a small group of TEAM LIZZIE runners and people that love Lizzie gathered in Chicago to run 26.2 miles in honor of Lizzie's fiery, brave spirit, in honor of the start of her senior year, and in honor of the month she was freed from cancer. Now, as May nears, we will again gather as a Team to run in honor of Lizzie's 18th birthday and her graduation. I have decided to run the Licoln Marathon, along with a few other friends and Team members. We would love to have a large group representing TEAM LIZZIE this year, so if you have any interest in running or walking the full or half, please let me know. And if you don't want to run/walk it, but are willing to line the streets of Lincoln to cheer us, on, we would love that too.
The Lincoln Marathon is May 2nd this year, just 17 weeks from today. Training for the full will begin next week, and training for the half will be the second week in February. We will have a kick-off meeting soon - check for an email from me soon for more info.
Here is an article I'd like to share about some of our TEAM runners.
Grief sisters conquer goal
Sunday, May 3, 2009...Lincoln, Nebraska...7 a.m...the sun is shining and not a breeze blows as 6,500 runners make their way to the starting line for the Lincoln National Guard Marathon-1/2 Marathon. "Just another jog" for some...first time jitters for others. Each runner has their own reasons for tacking this run. Amongst the 6,500 runners were four sisters ready to run the race for the first time together.
Running hasn't always been a goal of these sisters. It all began in 2003 as Shari Grief Geiser, the youngest of the sisters, began running as a hobby and tackled the Chicago Marathon, since then running five 1/2 marathons and another full in Phoenix, AZ, as well as the Market to Market relay race from Omaha to Lincoln. Running became a big part of her life even as some of the family, including the other sisters, labled her "crazy" to run that far. In 2006 Shari's reasons for running became more that just to beat a goal time and get one more medal...it became very personal. In October 2006 some very dear friends of Shari's lost their daughter, then 14, to a very rare liver cancer called hepatoblastoma. Elizabeth Stratton began her battle at the tender young age of 9...and fought every day with a big smile on her face and an infectious positive attitide matched by not many other people. Lizzie had one goal in life...to teach anyone she crossed paths with to live life to the fullest and appreciate the gifts you've been given. After numerous surgeries, procedures, medications and hospital stays...she lost her battle. As her life ended TEAM LIZZIE was created.
TEAM LIZZIE is nearly 100 members strong. Although no money is raised for this cause, remembrance and awareness is the goal. The members, which span six states, run with one goal in mind..."Mile by mile, LizzieStyle". Lizzie never quit, she smiled every step of the way during her "marathon".
Last May 2008, Kathy Grief Rome, joined in as a TEAM LIZZIE spectator due to an injury but was determined to run the Lincoln 1/2 in 2009. She registered, trained and ran strong. Joyce Grief Ellis, too decided a 1/2 marathon was one thing she hadn't tackled in her busy life, so she registered, trained and pulled through the 13.1 miles as well. Patty Grief Jalo began training about a year ago to run a 5K with her daughter Phalyn, an avid runner. Since then she, too, was determined to run her first 1/2 marathon and registered to run Lincoln, Nebraska. They have discussed running as a team in the Dallas Relay Marathon. Patty has already regitereed to run the Dallas 1/2 marathon, and the Phoeniz 1/2 marathon. Shari's next goal is to push for a Boston Marathon qualifing time in the Chicago Marathon in October*.
As the sun shone the sisters made their way through the streets of Lincoln on the glorious May morning and enjoyed what turned out to be a beautiful running day...mile by mile, Lizzie Style.
Article from the Osborne County Farmer
*Since the article was written Shari realized her goal and will represent TEAM LIZZIE in Boston in April of this year. Congratulations, Shari!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 5:59 PM CST
Merry Christmas everyone. We hope you have a safe and joyous holiday. Peace be with you.
Thursday, October 29, 2009 3:49 AM CDT
'Lessons from Lizzie'
1. Always smile.
2. Always have a positive attitude.
3. Never give up - when things get tough, stay in the game and fight.
4. Always take time to appreciate the little things in life.
5.Take time to enjoy every moment with my family. Even if it's just another trip to the store - there is a special time to be shared.
6. Make every moment in life count.
7. Serve others in need.
8. Keep God in the center of my life.
9. Try to touch each person I meet or spend time with in a special way.
10. Whenever I'm not really feeling great or happy, I think of you and it's amazing how my attitude changes.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009 3:57 PM CDT
"The person that begins a marathon is not the same person who finishes the marathon." ~author unknown
The 2009 Bank of America Chicago Marathon was an amazing experience. Congratulations to all of TEAM LIZZIE who ran it.
I've sat at this computer several times today trying to put into words what it felt like to be back in Chicago, realizing a dream that began 7 years ago. I've started typing and then deleted everything more than once. No words can really describe the experience. I can start with amazing, exciting, endless, painful, emotional...but those don't truly touch on what it felt like to be there when the gun went off, when we crossed the start line, when we passed the first mile, when we saw our "curb crew" cheering us on, when we heard "GO TEAM LIZZIE!" over and over again. We also heard "GO TEAM OZZIE!" several times, which means we will be rethinking our tshirt design! ;) What it felt like to be so exhausted that another step felt impossible, and to realize you still had over 10 miles to go. What it felt like to pass mile 26 and realize I was .20 miles from finishing my first marathon. To cross the finish line and get my mylar cover and medal. To see my friends and family who had also finished. Amazing, exciting, endless, painful, emotional...those words don't even come close.
On Saturday, when we drove into downtown Chicago, we drove past a street sign that said "Elizabeth". Two streets down we crossed "May". It felt like a pretty good sign that my Elizabeth Mae was going to be with me. At one point during the run when I was growing very tired, Katie told me to look up. Someone was holding up a lime green butterfly sign that said "You will succeed." I had many conversations with Lizzie during those miles. I know she was with me.
Congratulations to Shari for qualifying for Boston! What an amazing accomplishment! We are so honored to have you represent TEAM LIZZIE in Boston! You go girl! We are behind you all the way! (Far, far behind! ;)
Congratulations also to Laura, Katie, Jerry, Corey, Karla & Phalyn! It was quite a ride, and it's hard to believe it's over.
I guess it's time to start looking for the next adventure! Mile by mile, LizzieStyle. Go TEAM LIZZIE!
Sunday, September 27, 2009 3:24 PM CDT
Two more weeks! We will be in Chicago two weeks from today, HOPEFULLY wearing our marathon medals and limping gloriously from our 26.2 mile victory! I cannot believe it is only 2 weeks away. I hope I will be graced with some of Lizzie's strength.
It struck me today, as I watched the leaves tumbling off the trees onto the ground, how rich in memories autumn is for our family. It was October 2002 that Lizzie was considered cancer free and left the hospital for what we thought was the last time. It was October '02 that we took Lizzie and the girls to Chicago for her Make-A-Wish trip. It was that same month that we all stood on the sidelines and watched the marathoners coming across the finish line in downtown Chicago and I caught the runner's fever.
It was in October when Lizzie grew weak, and our house grew strength from the angels. And it was October 2006 when Lizzie truly became cancer free.
As the wind picks up speed today and brings autumn in abundance, I feel my emotions raging with it. So many memories from this time of the year. Lizzie's freshman homecoming, walking to class in the mornings with my Lizziegirl, walking to the store for necessities (spaghetti!!), sitting beside my baby girl as her body grew weaker, but her spirit became a brilliant fire of hope and faith.
Saying goodbye...picking out the perfect spot at 'the Park'...saying goodbye a final time...
The air is full of all these memories and so many more...I love this time of year and hate this time of year...I want to sit with the memories and lose myself in them...I want to block out the memories and skip ahead to the next season.
But this year I will add another memory. I will return to Chicago, where, 7 years ago, I caught the runner's fever. I will tackle those miles in honor of my sweet Elizabeth, whose own marathon was all uphill and rocky. She climbed a mountain. I dedicate every single mile, every single step of my journey to my beautiful, strong, Mighty Miracle.
Good luck to all of TEAM LIZZIE who will be tackling their own journey in Chicago. Thanks for doing this with me, for my girl, and for yourselves! You guys are awesome!
Good luck to Tammy B. who will be running her first marathon in Denver the week after Chicago, and to Trish and Mike who will be running in Des Moines! Go TEAM LIZZIE! Mile by mile...
Monday, September 7, 2009 5:41 PM CDT
I hit a big milestone on Saturday...I ran 20 miles! I can't believe it! As Laura and I sat down way back in February and planned out our training schedule, I remember looking at September 5th where we had written '20 miles' and thought, I honestly don't know if I will be able to do that. That is a long ways to run. And then training began, and we hit another milestone, 14 miles. I remember watching my GPS unit as it passed over 13.1 miles, the farthest I'd run yet, and felt so accomplished and more confident. Then we tackled 15, then 17, then 18. And that 20 was still there, hovering, making me doubt all the training I'd done, all the confidence I'd built up.
Saturday morning I felt sick to my stomach as I laced up my shoes, strapped on my GPS and camelback, and headed out the door. As several TEAM LIZZIE runners stretched and chatted, I wanted to run...home. Not 20 miles. Just home. Curl up back in bed. To say I was nervous didn't even come close.
But somehow, I got through the first 9 miles. Then the next 5. Around then my body started tightnening up on me, and the doubts came back, full force. Joe, riding his bike along beside me, talked me through the next mile, and the next, and pretty soon I faced the last 2 miles. Another pep talk from Joe, and off I went. Rounding into mile 19, I faced a hill. My body was so tired, and achy, and cramping. I just really needed to be done. Somehow that last mile is always the longest, no matter the distance. Ready to give up, I started talking to Lizziegirl. I told her how tired I was, how long and steep the hill felt. I told her I knew it was nothing compared to the many challenges she had faced. I told her how much I love her and miss her. Her sweet little voice filled my head and heart as I heard her say, "You can do this, Mommy!" Suddenly the hill seemed to tilt and I felt lighter. Joe, on his bike beside me, said, "Do you know you are speeding up, going up this hill?" About that time a butterfly came dancing between us.
I finished the hill, my GPS unit told me I had tackled 20 miles, and my heart told me that I had had help from a very special angel.
Congratulations to Katie, Tammy, Laura and Shari for also getting through those 20 miles! Thanks for running with Lizzie in Mind, and thanks for taking this journey with me.
And here's to 22 miles on the 19th. Mile by mile, butterfly by butterfly...we'll get there. I just know it.
Tuesday, the 8th, is Abby's birthday, and Wednesday is Kaylie's. Happy birthday, girls!! Thanks for being so patient with mommy through all the training and naps!!
Sunday, August 16, 2009 8:42 AM CDT
The morning started out stormy, but just in time for the race, an angel blew away the clouds and gathered in the sunshine, pouring it's warmth down on all the participants. It was a great day for a run. Thank you, Lizziegirl!
It was wonderful to see so many people at the 3rd Annual Lizzie Stratton Memorial Run yesterday. It was just the celebration Lizzie would have planned - friends and family gathering to live strong. Thank you to everyone who came out. I want to thank Laura for the great idea of the balloon release - we had the seniors release green and gold balloons at the start of the race - and Katie and Laura for your help with the signs this year. I was really struggling and you girls got me through it.
I want to share something that some of the seniors wrote for the runner's packets...
Three years ago as we began our high school journey, there was a buzz of excitment throughout the school. Everyone was anxious to meet new students, but the excitment for Elizabeth Stratton was so much more. She came as a regular student intending to learn, but instead became a teacher who taught us all life changing lessons. Even though her time at Kearny Catholic was limited, she made the most of it. She attended classes as often as she could, two hours for three days each week. She lived out her freshman experiences by attending football games, pep rallies and making many new friends.
Now our journey brings us into our senior year. As we near the end of this important time in our lives, we reflect on the beginning and all the lessons we have learned. A great deal of our life lessons were taught to us by Lizzie. As we sat in class or at late night foogball games, we took in everything she had to offer.
She lived her life in faith and taught us to do the same. Her relationship with God was overpowereing and witnessing it strengthened our own. She relied on Him through her struggles and challenging times, which showed us that with God all things are possible. Each one of us became closer with Him and we thank Lizzie for that.
Another life-changing lesson we learned from Lizzie was to seize the day, "Carpe Diem". Lizzie truly lived her life to the fullest, lived day by day, and appreciated each and every moment. She showed us that, especially in high school, it is important to see the silver lining in every trying moment. We need to move past the bad moments and focus on the good things in our lives. She is a perfect example of being positve even when life doesn't seem to go our way.
As our senior year quickly approaches, we realize that we must use these lessons now more than ever. Senior year will fly by and we will use Lizzie's lessons to cherish each day. She helps us embrace our final days as Kearney Catholic students. We will remember her throughout this year as well as the rest our our lives. We will continue to look for Lizzie in all of life's little things: rainbows, butterflies and eagles. As our time at KCHS is coming to an end, we wish she was here to experience it with us, but at the same time we realize that she never left us, but rather stayed with each member of our class deep inside our hearts. We will never forget our class princess and we will finish our journey with Lizzie in mind, living up our senior year LIZZIESTYLE.
"Before Lizzie we were a class, now we are a family."
~Senior Class of 2010
Monday, August 10, 2009 8:43 AM CDT
Well. I made it back to church. I did it. And it was good. But it hurt like h&!! too. I've learned that you just never know where you will get blindsided. Yesterday at church they announced the students who will be confirmed this year. It was, of course, the seniors. And of course, they had them stand up, one by one, and asked us to pray for them. As they called out one name after another, all I heard was that one name that was not being called out. I watched all the girls gather in each others cars afterwards, laughing, teasing, and wondered which car Lizzie would have been in. Or maybe it would be her car all the girls climbed into.
I want to climb into bed and sleep away this upcoming school year. I don't think I can bear the celebrations. I didn't realize this of all things would hurt like this.
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Please keep our dear friend, Charis, and her family in your thoughts and prayers. We love you Charis. One phone call and I will be there.
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Saturday is the 3rd Annual Lizzie Stratton Memorial Run. There is still time to register. Registration forms can be found at Kearney Catholic's website.
Monday, July 13, 2009 2:07 PM CDT
The 3rd Annual Lizzie Stratton Memorial Run will be on August 15th this year. We will be honoring Lizzie's Senior Year of high school. We hope you can join us in remembering our Sweet Elizabeth and supporting Kearney Catholic High School.
Below is a link to the registration forms.
http://www.kearneycatholic.org/activities/lizziestrattonrun/lizziebrochure.pdf
Joe and I have struggled with the idea of "celebrating" Lizzie's senior year, since she won't be graduating. But we want to honor the fact that this would have been a very special, exciting time in her life. We want to acknowledge that time, even though she isn't here anymore. It's been a hard decision; it would be easier to just let the year pass by without thinking about what Lizzie would be doing if she were still alive - planning her future, moving toward independence, spreading her wings. Wondering what colleges she would have applied to, what career choice she would be working towards.
But, as hard as it is think about all of those things, it is even harder to not acknowledge this momentous year. I feel that Lizzie would want us to celebrate what could have been, what should have been. Knowing that her future is now, that she is already independent, she has spread her wings, and she is soaring. Fly high, baby girl.
Monday, June 29, 2009 2:47 PM CDT
We are in New Mexico - back in the Land of Enchantment. We are here to celebrate my mom's Ordination into her church. It's something we have been planning for a long time - several years. In fact, when she first started planning this graduation, she had asked if Lizzie, Jessica and Abby would be willing to sign a song that she wanted to be played at the event. The girls all loved to sign and agreed to it. So, as the big day approached, I was struggling with a lot of sadness knowing that Lizzie would not be here to help in the celebration. I was sitting outside on my mom's patio the afternoon before the Ordination, begging Lizzie to show up. I thought how incredible it would be if an eagle would just swoop down and land on the railing in front of me. I thought, if that happened, it would erase all doubt from my mind. She feels so far away right now, but maybe if an eagle would just show up out of nowhere, I would know that she could still hear me, still be a part of everything. I sat there and just willed that eagle to land.
It never did.
However...
... there is a great big butterfly that seems to follow us around, anytime we are outside.
Also...
...yesterday, my brother, Wayne, and I went for a drive. As we made our way back to town, there on the side of the road was a giant sign with an eagle on it. Turns out Belen (the town my mom lives in) is the home of the Eagles. So, I guess you could say an eagle did indeed swoop down in front of me.
And...
...last night we sat down to dinner and two giant rainbows bridged over the house. We all abandoned our meal to run outside and soak up the colors and possibilities.
A butterfly, an eagle and two rainbows. Thank you Lizziegirl.
We are on our 3rd week of marathon training. 13 runs down, 57 more to go! It's been a challenge training here in New Mexico with the higher altitude. But it's the challenges that make us stronger. Lizziegirl was the perfect example of that.
Congratulations to my mama, for her perserverence, hard work, dedication and strong faith. Yay, Granny!
Saturday, May 30, 2009 9:27 AM CDT
I ran with Jerry! I ran with Jerry!! Sure, I was in an all out sprint, and he was jogging, I couldn't breathe or think or talk, and he wasn't even breathing hard, but I ran with "Uncle Jelly"!! Fifteen miles, uphill both ways...ok, five miles, but still uphill. Ok, a few slight inclines. But still!! Thank you Jerry! It was the highlight of my weekend!
Last weekend we celebrated Joe's Grandpa Kenny's 90th birthday. It was amazing to watch this brilliant, wise, gentle man as he greeted a lifetime of friends, family and memories. It's easy to see where Lizzie got her fight and zest for life.
We spent the weekend on the farm. On Sunday the dads/uncles and grandparents played ball and frisbee with the kids, the moms/aunts cheered and soaked up the sun and laughter. It felt great to be back in Iowa with everyone, but of course, the one big void was not having Lizzie there to join in on the fun. However, we did have a couple of big butterflies that kept making an appearance, so maybe she was there, in some way.
In nine days I start training for my first full marathon! A small group of TEAM LIZZIE will run the Chicago Marathon in October in honor of Lizzie's senior year of high school. It was seven years ago that the Make-A-Wish Foundation sent our family to Chicago so Lizzie could enjoy a shopping spree at The American Girl Store. It happened to be the weekend of the Chicago Marathon and we were lucky enough to see the runners and witness the excitement. As we stood at the finish line watching people come across smiling, crying, laughing, limping, I told Lizzie that I would someday come back and run that race. She of course told me on the spot that I would, she believed in an instant that her mama could conquer 26.2 miles. So, fingers crossed, I will do it this year for her, for what should have been a huge milestone in her life, her senior year of high school. I don't know how well I will do, but I plan on tackling it with the same fight and zest Lizzie had, and of course, Mile by Mile, LizzieStyle...
More info on TEAM LIZZIE, Chicago '09 to come.
Monday, May 11, 2009 11:06 AM CDT
Tomorrow is Elizabeth's 17th birthday. I can't believe how hard this feels. My oldest daughter, my first born child, my baby girl...17 years old. Yesterday I went to the cemetery and sat by her stone and just wondered what kind of birthday she would have wanted...a small one with a few close girlfriends? A big dance, perhaps? Or maybe she would have a boyfriend who would want to take her to dinner. 17. Seventeen. What would she be like at that age? Would her favorite color still be lime green? Would she still love to read? What would her Facebook photo be? I want to know Elizabeth at 17. And 18. And on and on.
When I'm feeling really low a good friend of mine asks me to tell her a funny story about Lizzie. Since Lizzie was always larger than life there are so many, but these are some of my favorites...
When she was maybe a year old, Joe sang in the church choir. Which meant I was left to take care of an energetic 12 month old who loved to talk and move. The priest was of the old school mind that children should be seen and not heard, and if your child was crying or fussing he would stop the mass and wait for you to escort your child out. So there we were one day, Joe singing, Lizzie chatting, and me trying to stay of out of Father's view. Lizzie decided she wanted some cheerios (RIGHT NOW) and grabbed the little container out of the diaper bag. Knowing she wouldn't be able to open it, I reached for it to help her. She thought I was taking it away. A short struggle, and then, right as the song ended and the church was at it's quietest, the lid came off the cheerios container and cereal was launched in many different directions. As the whole grain o's scattered onto that old wooden floor, I think even the angels were silent. I felt the priest's eyes searing onto me, and I knew I had a few Hail Mary's coming my way. And then, into the silence, Lizzie's sweet little voice..."Uh-oh Mommy". Yep, uh-oh.
I don't think we ever took cheerios to church again.
Another time in church, around the same age, she decided she wanted a sucker (RIGHT NOW). Once again, at the quietest point of mass, she belts out her request for a SUCKER!!!! Only at that age her "S" is an "F". Yep. Hail Mary, full of grace...
When she was around 2 she loved to sing the theme song for the movie 'Lion King'. It went something like this..."Akuna Matada....Phrasssseee...." She would wear Joe's cowboy hat and boots and stand in the kitchen singing that over and over again, with a precious little grin on her face, her chocolate eyes twinkling.
Lizzie loved water fights, and she was always trying to get one started. It was officially summer when the hose would come out and she'd shriek with joy as she soaked her Daddy, and then game on...One year she launched an attack on her uncles...we were at Grandma and Grandpa's farm for the 4th of July, and I believe she snuck up on Uncle Jeff maybe? An hour or two later there wasn't a dry spot around.
Like her daddy, Elizabeth was always looking for fun, always wanting to stir the pot a little. I can still see that smile and the look in her eyes as she cooked up an idea.
Lizziegirl...I hope you are still stirring the pot up there in heaven. I hope you keep all the angels on their toes. Knowing you, a party started from the moment you arrived and it has just kept on going. I miss your fun little spirit, your feisty-ness. I don't know what your favorite color would be now. Or if you'd still like to read. If you'd have a boyfriend or be a straight A student. I do believe, though, with everything that I am, that you'd still be larger than life, and you'd still start water fights in the summer.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Lizzie...
Happy birthday to you.
I love you baby girl...
Monday, May 4, 2009 8:32 AM CDT
Way to go TEAM LIZZIE! You all did great! As we swarmed the lobby of the Cornhusker Hotel at 6 am on Sunday, it felt so good to look around at how many people continue to run with Lizzie in mind. Watching you all line the staircase for pictures, Joe and I tried to come up with a better way to say thank you, to show our gratitude, but there are no words adequate enough. Just know that what we feel goes above and beyond grateful. It's amazing to hear, along the course, "go TEAM LIZZIE!! Boy, there are a lot of you people out here!!" It's just awesome to hear.
I know we all run for our own reasons. We all have our own struggles we are working through. It takes a great deal of energy to do this, not just the training, not just the soreness, not just the 5 am wake-up call to get to the 7 am start. Running has a way of making us face our struggles head on. I watch as we all individually push through the mental and physical fatigue to join together as a group that inspires people. Even as we run as individuals, running our own race, we come together as a group, supporting each other, leaning on each other. Even as we make our own journey, we all carry each other through. I think Lizzie is pretty proud of us.
Thank you all. And also, a huge shout-out to Lincoln and all the spectators. Running in Lincoln is a great experience. There are so many people along the course that encourage you, sing to you, hand out snacks along the way, and just give us a continuous push to keep going. You all rock!
Saturday, April 25, 2009 9:25 PM CDT
TEAM LIZZIE - we are just 1 week from our big day!! The Lincoln National Guard Half and Full Marathon is a week from tomorrow! So hard to believe - it's gone by fast. I hope everyone is feeling good and ready for the adventure.
We will meet at 6 a.m. in the lobby area of the Cornhusker Hotel to take pictures. I know it is so early, but the race begins at 7 sharp. By the time we get our pictures taken, walk down to the start, check our things in, go to the bathroom one last time, that hour will fly by.
I can't believe that just 2 years ago I was getting ready for my first half. I was surrounded by wonderful, supportive friends and family who believed in me and loved my daughter. I'll never forget how nervous I was, how doubtful I was that I would ever finish. And then when Molly and I reached mile 11 how amazed we were that it was almost over. We were actually disappointed that it was going by so quickly. And then the rainbows started to form at our feet from all the rain and we felt Lizzie's presense so greatly.
Now, the TEAM has grown so big...almost 100 people in 5 different states. In just 2 years. That can only come from the amazing energy that is Lizzie Stratton. Thank you all so very very much for lacing up your rainbow shoe laces, putting on your TEAM LIZZIE shirts, and running in honor of Elizabeth Mae Stratton. To be able to keep sharing Lizzie's journey with the world is so important to us - we don't ever want her message and energy to fade. Thank you for supporting our family, for remembering our daughter, and for living your life the way Lizzie wanted everyone to: as a celebration and a gift. Carpe diem, everyone.
Good luck next week, and remember to enjoy the journey, mile by mile, LizzieStyle...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 10:53 PM CDT
7...seven years ago...our life changed...drastically...terribly...suddenly...horrifically...what we are now is very different from what we were then...an average family going day to day, basically happy, feeling blessed, bothered by your average stresses but doing just fine, thankful for each other, for the gifts we had been handed...then, bam...a sudden trip to omaha, a shocking diagnosis...and those awful words..."your daughter has cancer". Nothing we had experienced or will ever experience will compare with sitting in that little room with the doctor telling you that your little girl has a very rare form of cancer that normally affects boys 3 years and under. NOTHING. And that was just the beginning. Our journey into the next years was beyond anything I can ever put into words. Beyond anything I hope so many of you will never experience, but so many of you have...
The day Elizabeth was diagnosed with cancer was one of the worst days of my life...followed only by the day that she died. In between those two days are moments of horror, of grace, of laughter, of fear, of courage...it is a day most would like to forget...but not our Lizziegirl...she turned that horrific day into a day of celebration, a day of saying "I am alive, and I am a happy girl." Every year, on April 1st we celebrated another year of victory, not defeat. Of life, not death. We threw parties, we laughed, we loved.
And so tomorrow, in honor of our brave, Sweet Elizabeth, we will celebrate life, not death. We will remember a beautiful girl who embraced every moment, and who lived strong...
In honor of our LiveStrong Girl, we will be wearing yellow and black, the classic colors of Lance Armstrong, and Lizzie Stratton, and everyone, who chooses to live in the moment, to laugh and live and love, and above all else, to Live Strong...
Here's to you, Lizziegirl...we love you so much, and continue to be so proud of you...
By the way...on Sunday we were sent Lots of Eagles...thank you...
Thursday, March 26, 2009 1:20 PM CDT
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ATTENTION ALL TEAM LIZZIE MEMBERS AND THOSE WHO LOVE LIZZIE
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This is Molly Trettel, friend of the Stratton family. Sami asked me to make this posting, on a day that is historically hard for their family.
Today and tomorrow is the 7th Annual Y102 Country Cares for Kids St. Jude fundraiser. If you are in the Kearney area, tune in to Y102 to hear heart-wrenching stories about children battling cancer, families praying for another day, and a community that comes together to help them fight for their lives.
A challenge has been issued on the radio to all Team Lizzie runners and anyone who has been touched by Lizzie's life and all that she accomplished....all you need to do is call 1-888-285-4673 or stop by the Hilltop Mall and make a donation in Lizzie's memory.
Please make a pledge to St. Jude's in Lizzie's memory today. We must do our part to put an end to the unthinkable reality that is childhood cancer.
I have included below the beautiful posting Sami made this time last year, asking people to support St. Jude's so that no other family will have to go through the unimaginable anguish and heartache of losing a child. Anyone's worst nightmare....
Strattons, we love you and we love your lizzie girl, so very much. Miss you like crazy, sweet girl. More than words can say. - Molly
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Sami's posting from March 25, 2008:
Six years ago my alarm went off around 6:30; as I blindy batted at the snooze button, I heard a gentle, sad voice talking about his son who had battled cancer and was now an angel. This man spoke of hope, of fear, of grace; he spoke of a place called St. Judes Research Hospital. Now wide awake, I felt so sad for this family, for John, the voice of the sad, gentle man on the radio, and so very grateful that my children were healthy. After all, those kinds of things didn't happen to us, they happened to other people, right? I went about the rest of my day carrying John's voice in my heart, giving my girls extra hugs, handing them a bit more patience than usual, and, so grateful that we were all healthy, eventually got back into my routine.
Less than a week later we were being admitted to Children's Hospital in Omaha. We watched in horror as a nurse slipped a band on Elizabeth's little wrist, and then on Joe's and mine.
We were THAT family now.
It is a hard 2 days, listening to the stories of struggle and pain, fear and frustration, remembering our own struggles, hearing about victories that we will never experience. I tell myself I won't listen this year. I'll just pretend it's not happening and just won't turn the radio on today. And then it will be over for another year.
But the thing is, it will never be over if we don't listen, if we don't help. We are always in danger of being THAT family. We have to remember, to listen, to fight.
Scott from Y102, John, Gail, all the volunteers, the donators, and St. Jude, God bless you all. Thank you for your dedication, your committment, your grace.
Lizziegirl, we will always remember...
Wednesday, March 18, 2009 5:14 PM CDT
Hello TEAM LIZZIE! We are less than 7 weeks away from our big day - I hope everyone's training is going well. I have put TEAM LIZZIE on Facebook - I encourage all of our runners/walkers to join. It is a great avenue for us all to write about our experiences, share stories and pictures, and encourage each other through the process. It's also a great place for our spectators/cheer squad/support crew to read up on our runners and join in the experience. It is free to join Facebook and easy to navigate.
PLEASE GET YOUR SHIRT/JACKETS TO ME OR KATIE ASAP, ALONG WITH SPECTATOR SHIRT ORDERS. THANKS!
Below is an English paper written by one of our runner's daughter. It is a tender tribute to our Lizziegirl. Thanks, Deena and Megan, for sharing this with us. And, thank you, Megan, from the bottom of my heart, for referring to Lizzie in the present tense. She is still very much with us...
"Living Life with Lizzie in Mind"
My hero is Lizzie Stratton. She is my hero because she put a smile on everyone's face even when she had cancer.
Do you know someone with cancer? Well, Lizzie had cancer. The type of cancer Lizzie had was not cureable. She had to go through chemo a lot. I can't even imagine how it was losing your hair and having to be in a wheelchair. She also had a halo to hold her up. Lizzie fought cancer for 4 1/2 years.
No one can have a heart like Lizzie. Lizzie's heart is amazing! She has the best attitude about everything, especially about cancer. The thing that I remember the most about Lizzie is how she makes everone smile. Lizzie loved God so much I don't have a number for it.
Death is the worst tragedy ever. The death of Lizzie surprised everyone in the community. She died on October 29, 2006. It is hard for me to remember when my hero died. But I know she is a wonderful angel. Jesus needed her up there. I will never forget my hero Lizzie.
I hope you think now that Lizzie is an awesome person. I know I do. I know I will never forget you Lizzzie. Thank you for being my hero.
By: Megan Danielle Sughroue
Sunday, March 8, 2009 3:07 PM CDT
We are 8 weeks away from our big day! I hope everyone is doing well and staying with it!
Several members of TEAM LIZZIE will be out of town next weekend, including Joe and I, so we will not be at the YMCA for our long run on Saturday.
TEAM LIZZIE is now on Facebook. We decided this would be an easier way for our members to post pictures and share experiences with the group. Check it out!
Happy running, everyone!
~Don't let what you can't do interfere with what you can do.~
Anonymous
Monday, March 2, 2009 4:21 PM CST
Less than 9 weeks till the Lincoln Marathon! I hope everyone's training is going well. Thanks to everyone who showed up Saturday for the run. Congrats to those of you who ran your longest distance ever! Way to go - you are doing it - mile by mile!
I will send out an email Friday to let you know where we are meeting for our run on Saturday. Have a great week! Happy running!
"Committment: it means you don't give up!" ~Kaylie Stratton
"We can do anything we want to do if we stick to it long enough." ~Helen Keller
Sunday, February 22, 2009 12:19 AM CST
The Lincoln Half and Full Marathon is just 10 weeks away! For those of you on the 12 week plan, I hope your first 2 weeks of training went well. This week you will do 3.5 on Tuesday and Thursday and 5 on Saturday. Don't forget to cross-train on your non-run days, stretch, and drink lots of water!
For those on the 10 week plan, your first run day will be Tuesday. E-mail me if you have any questions. Good luck!
We plan on meeting at the YMCA in Kearney at 8 a.m. for Saturday's long run - the 10 weekers will do 6 and the 12 weekers 5. Due to the cold temperture, we will run upstairs on the treadmills. Let me know if you plan on being there.
I hope by now you have reserved a room in Lincoln. If not, please consider doing so soon. Rooms fill up very quickly that weekend.
Take a minute to visit www.wearyellow.com. Our good friends Ron and Kathy were in California this past week following the Tour of CA. They paid tribute to Lizzie along the route. Thanks guys! That means so much to Joe and I!
I continue to receive emails from people wanting to join TEAM LIZZIE! Thank you all so much for continuing to make this such a special group of people.
Happy running, everyone! LiveStrong, LizzieStyle!
Sunday, February 15, 2009 3:20 PM CST
I don't go to church anymore. I'm probably not suppose to say that, but I don't. But today, I did. I tried. I've stopped going for several reasons, the biggest being that it is so hard to walk into the church where my daughter's funeral was held, where her precious little body lay in a casket, and the casket stood right there by the entrance. Walking into the church, my eyes go right to that spot. No matter how hard I try to not look there, I look. And then there's the spot where Jolie sang Sweet Elizabeth. And the pew where our family sat for the funeral.
Beyond that, it's hard to go as a family of 5, not 6. Beyond that...well, I could go on but I'll stop.
But today I tried. And for awhile it felt right. It felt good. Then this family came in and sat down 2 rows ahead of us. They had this adorable little girl, less than 2 years old I think. We all watched her and waved talked about how cute she was. Then it happened. One of those moments you just never see coming - the moment when you are doing ok - you are putting one foot in front of the other, you are breathing normally, you are even smiling. And then it hits, out of nowhere, and it just drops you to your knees. That sweet little girl stuck her fingers in her mouth. Mr. Tall Man and Ring Man. Just like Lizzie did. Joe looked at me, I looked at Joe, and it was all over. The tears started and would not stop for anything. Then we realized the little blue dress she was wearing had tiny red roses all over it. And the bottle she was sipping from had butterflies on it. And then the biggie...she had chocolate-drop eyes.
I just sat there and cried. I didn't want to cry. I wanted to keep that good feeling. I am tired of feeling sad, of having Abby look at me with her Daddy's worried blue eyes asking why I am crying. I want to be strong for my girls, and for Joe. But the tears would not stop. That beautiful little girl sat there sucking on her two little fingers just like Lizzie did, with roses and butterflies dancing around her, watching us with those chocolate-drop eyes and the tears just flowed.
I'm not sure if I will go back next Sunday. Or ever again. But maybe I will. Maybe that sweet little girl with the chocolate-drop eyes and the two fingers in her mouth was there to let us know that Lizzie is nearby always. I don't know. I do know that today I walked in to church feeling good, something I haven't felt in a long time in that place. So maybe thats something. Even though it didn't go well today, maybe that is ok. Maybe all I can ask for is moments of peace. Someday, those moments could string together to make up hours, and then days. Maybe. Probably. If I just keep trying.
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The Lincoln Half-Marathon is 11 weeks from today. I hope everyone's first week of training went well. And I hope you know that even if it didn't go well, that is ok. Just keep trying. Mile by mile, minute by minute. Moment by moment. Someday, those miles could string together to make up a half-marathon. Maybe. Probably. If you just keep trying.
Friday, February 6, 2009 1:19 PM CST
Ok, I'm almost afraid to say this out loud..but since I'm typing, maybe I'm safe...I'm out of the boot! (Looks like I passed in onto Jacque though!)
I've been working with my awesome physical therapist for the past few weeks and have seen a lot of progress. I've even been able to run a little this week! Thank you Dusty!
Joe and I are really looking forward to our kick-off party this weekend! As I sit and look at our guest list, I'm reminded again of how much TEAM LIZZIE reminds me of Lizzie's folded cranes...how she discovered the story of the cranes, then learned to fold them, and then started slowly to build up a collection of them. We currently have close to 2000 of those colorful cranes hanging in Lizzie's closet - a reminder of her determination and dedication.
When Lizzie was in the 5th grade her teacher read her the story of a girl with cancer who decided to fold 1000 paper cranes; her culture believed this would bring her luck and good health. The little girl died before she could complete her mission, so her friends and family finished it for her. After reading this story, Lizzie, who was in her second year of battling cancer, was touched by the girl's determination and decided she wanted to try to fold 1000 paper cranes also. Joe and I were afraid that that was a huge goal and didn't want her to think that if she didn't accomplish it, she wouldn't beat cancer. She assured us she didn't think that, she just wanted to have a goal. Her wonderful art therapist at Children's Hospital recommended that Lizzie allow other people to help her reach this goal. She said each crane that someone folded for Lizzie could represent a prayer for her. Lizzie liked that idea so we began what would be the most amazing experience to ever happen along our journey. Lizzie made a sign for her hospital room door (she was in the hospital often for treatments) that read "All who enter must fold a paper crane for Lizzie. Instructions given." Word spread quickly and before we knew it nurses were coming in from other floors to see the 'crane room'. Lizzie very patiently gave instructions over and over again. One day, she was feeling awful from the chemo, but, in true LizzieStyle, she wasn't about to let that stop her, so just kept going. Her wonderful nurse, Anisa, realized things were going from bad to worse quickly and escorted the 'folders' out of the room just in time.
As Lizzie's crane collection grew, Joe and I began hanging the cranes from the ceiling. They danced around Lizzie's bed day and night, surrounding her with the prayers and love from so many people. We decided to have people sign the wings so we could keep track of where they came from. Lizzie's friend Charis decided she would fold one crane for every mile she ran, and she would fold the cranes during class (she was in nursing school at the time). Lizzie always gave her a light lecture on paying attention in class, but then gave Charis a big hug and thank you.
We decided to decorate Lizzie's hospital room with her growing collection every time we went to the hospital, so we came up with a way to store and transfer them between Omaha and Kearney. We hung 10 cranes to a string, 10 strings to a clothes hanger, and Joe got a PVC pipe to hang those onto. Every trip Joe would load up the cranes into the van, then unload them at the hospital. There were got to be so many cranes that it would make a swooshing sound as he walked; the nurses would hear him coming and call out, "Here come the cranes!"
One day, as Lizzie got closer and closer to her goal of 1000, the nurses on her floor decided they weren't going to let her go home until she had all the cranes. We all gathered around the nurses station and spent the afternoon folding cranes. Doctors would line up to ask Lizzie for assistance. It was a precious site to see our beautiful girl patiently showing these higher-education doctors "one more time" - their big hands clumsily attacking the delicate paper.
Lizzie surpassed her goal and yet folded cranes continued to pour into the room and our mailbox, and people continued to stop by for lessons. Those wonderful people and those lovely little cranes kept Lizzie from thinking about how sick she felt, or at least distracted her a little. No matter how tired or ill she felt, she was always ready with a smile and a lesson.
TEAM LIZZIE has grown in a similiar way...we started with a few dear friends, surrounding us with prayers and love, and as word spreads, our collection grows. People who never thought they could run 13.1 miles realize they can, and people who thought they might do it once keep coming back. Like those cranes dancing above Lizzie's head, you all are helping us through this journey. Lizzie's courage, strength and joy continues to spread and surround us, thanks to all of you.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009 11:24 PM CST
TEAM LIZZIE: The kick-off party has been changed to Sunday, Feb. 8th @ 2 pm @ Lizzie's house. Hope to see you there!
What a day...
I will not pout...I will not pout...I will be strong like Lizzie...
Ok, Lizzie did not get her strength from her mama...and I'm going to pout.
I have a damaged achilles tendon. I am back in the boot, off of exercise, and back to physical therapy...aggressive this time...whatever that means...
In August I discovered I had a stress fracture which put me on the sidelines for Lizzie's 2nd Annual Memorial Run...and kept me there for the Des Moines Half Marathon...but I was a good girl, I took the time off, wore the lovely(*&E^!@) boot, iced, rested, PT'd with the best of them, and then started slowly back, literally 2 minutes at a time...and it still hurt...long story short, here it is January, gearing up for the Lincoln run, and back in the boot.
Please don't get me wrong...I know, really, I do, there are so many worse things out there. I know I am one of the lucky ones...but I want to train so badly for my next run...I want to be on the treadmill with my friends, sweating through the miles, stretching through the aches. And I want to put on my TEAM LIZZIE shirt on May 3rd, join my team mates, and conquer another 13.1 miles in honor of my girl and her courage and strength.
So today, as I sit feeling so sorry for myself, I remember my Lizziegirl, our mighty miracle...I am not nearly as strong as my Sweet Elizabeth...but I will keep on trying. Mile by mile, minute by minute, boot by boot...
Wednesday, January 14, 2009 4:46 PM CST
TEAM LIZZIE: Registration is now open for the Lincoln National Guard Marathon and Half Marathon!
I am so proud to announce we have over 90 members now! Wow!
If you do not see your name on this page, please email me and let me know. AND, if you see your name and no longer want to be on the TEAM, let me know that too.
It's not too late to join - our 12 week training plan starts February 8th. And to motivate you...a few words from some of our runners...
Team Lizzie: This was the best Lincoln Marathon I have run in and the reason was Team Lizzie!! What an awesome experience. I have met so many wonderful individuals due to this team and I just think it is awesome how many people have started to run due to this team. Lizzie will continue to influence us I know. During the race whenever my mind started playing games with me I thought of Lizzie and how strong she was, and then someone in the crowd would be yelling GO TEAM LIZZIE!!!!!! Thank you Stratton's and everyone!!!!! ~Deena Sughroue
Hello Team Lizzie,
I also wanted to say a huge thank you to all the Team Lizzie spectators along the route for the Lincoln half marathon. What an amazing support you all were. What an awesome group of people. Many people also asked me what Team Lizzie was all about. I felt privileged to be running in memory of an amazing little girl. Everyone I shared it with thought it was an awesome reason to have a team. Thank you Joe and Sami for your encouragement and organization of such a wonderful group. Don’t stop now. Keep on running Lizzie Strong. ~Sue Pedersen
TEAM LIZZIE, I just returned from the Lincoln half-marathon and want to voice my sincere THANK YOU to all the TEAM LIZZIE spectators along the streets encouraging us along. YOU were awesome and helped me keep plugging onward. My daughter-in-law told me that she overheard some runners commenting about TEAM LIZZIE and wondering what it was all about . They said “that team has the best representation of all teams and spectators”. Just wanted to let you know that “Lizzie” has created a stir in Nebraska and beyond! I answered several questions about Team Lizzie and even gave the web-site to a man from Illinois who knew a family suffering the death of their daughter Lizzie in a car accident. He wanted to know more about Team Lizzie so that perhaps he could help this family. What a wonderful group of people you all are! Thank you for letting me be a part of such an inspiring group! ~Sue Keizer
I thought today's run was Wonderful, such a great group to be with! Love All of Team Lizzie! ~Jacqueline Burns
I am so honored to be a part of the team. I've read so much about Lizzie on your website and she was an amazing, inspiring and strong little girl. Thanks again, This is such a journey for me, I hope I can finish Lizzie Style. Katie Mcgowen
Let the journey continue...mile by mile...LizzieStyle
Friday, January 9, 2009 1:31 PM CST
TEAM LIZZIE - if you are planning on going to Lincoln in May for the half or full marathon, you need to reserve your rooms now. Several hotels are already full. This is a very busy weekend in Lincoln, so don't wait!
I hope everyone has began running! This is the time to begin building your base!
As always, thank you all for being part of this group. It is just amazing to open up my e-mail and see more messages from people saying they would like to be a part of it all. We started at 7, we are well over 80 now. Way to go, TEAM LIZZIE!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008 9:10 AM CST
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. We had great time in Iowa. It was so cold and there was snow everywhere so Joe and I got to cross-country ski just about every day, and the girls got some good sledding time in. Lots of family and friends, parties and food, and more precious memories made. It was a very Lizzie-like Christmas. We definately felt her there with us, complete with an eagle siting. Thanks, Lizziegirl!
With the new year knocking on our door, it is getting time to gear up for another year of TEAM LIZZIE! Our two big runs planned at this time are the Lincoln Half and Full Marathon the first Sunday in May, and then the Chicago Marathon in October!! I am so excited about that one. It will be my first full marathon, and it was something I told Lizzie I would do someday. Look out Chicago! TEAM LIZZIE is coming your way!
I am so happy to include MORE names to our growing TEAM. Check out the total...so hard to believe we started with 7. I just can't express how important this is to Joe and I. To know that Lizzie's legacy is being carried out through so many inspiring and courageous people...it's just incredible. Thank you to each and every one of you, our runners, joggers, walkers, cheerleaders, and caringbridge readers...we love you. Now...for those of you planning on running in May - training will begin in February. So January is the time to start slowly building up your base...don't wait until February to launch back into running. Check back in next month for an update on training days.
Here's to a healthy and happy 2009. Happy running, everyone!!
Lizziegirl...I sit here, preparing to face another year without you. It seems so impossible to know you have been gone for over 2 years now. It seems like a lifetime, yet, I swear you were just here. Last night, I was making supper and glanced out the window to see your daddy coming home from work. Your sweet voice filled my head instantly; "Daddy's home!!" I am certain you were standing beside me, sampling my cooking, and joyfully saw your daddy pull into the driveway. How many days did you do that, and I loved it. I loved the way you would wander in while I was cooking, and how you would tell me all about the book you were reading, or the show you had just watched. You were always my companion around the house, my little shadow. How I miss that. I think I took it for granted, and now I ache for it.
I hope you are filled with peace, and joy, and freedom to soar. Love you baby girl. Happy New Year.
Friday, December 19, 2008 5:05 PM CST
Merry Christmas Lizziegirl...we miss you terribly and love you so much. Have a fun time celebrating Jesus's birthday. We'll be looking for an eagle while we are in Iowa...
Thursday, December 11, 2008 3:56 PM CST
I wanted to show everybody Tyler's tatoo he had done in May. He had to wait until he turned 18 (Iowa state law). We didn't know he was going to do it, and Jessica found out about it and told us. We were so surprised at first, but then realized it made complete sense. As I have written here before, Lizzie and Tyler had a very special friendship. Of course he would make such a permanent statement. We are so touched that he would do it.
In October Tyler ran his first 1/2 marathon in honor of his friend and cousin. Despite bad knees, it is his first of many TEAM LIZZIE runs. Despite bad knees, he trained and sweat and crossed the finish line for his cousin.
The last time Tyler saw Lizzie, she was in a halo and very sick, yet she smiled and laughed with him. I imagine she was with him when he got the tatoo put on, and I'm pretty sure she was chewing him out while loving it all at the same time.
Tyler - what a special thing you have done. It takes a very special person to do such a special thing. Thank you.
Thursday, December 4, 2008 4:38 PM CST
Christmas time again...this was always Lizzie's favorite time of the year. She'd start playing her favorite Christmas CD by Charlotte Church as soon as the turkey was cleaned off her Thanksgiving plate. As much as she loved to recieve gifts, I know she loved giving them so much more. She kept files on her friends and family; in the files she made notes of what different people liked, such as their favorite candle scent, or favorite cookie. What kind of movies they liked, what kind of books they read.
Lizzie had favorite foods that she requested for this time of the year - cheese balls with crackers (trisquits, just like her daddy), shrimp with cocktail sauce, and of course, pickle wraps! Our Christmas ritual was always the same. Fix our goodies on Christmas Eve, put them in the fridge for later, go to Mass, drive around looking at lights, then come back home to sing songs and munch on our goodies we had prepared earlier. Then set the cookies and milk out for Santa, go to bed. In the morning Lizzie would gather her sisters in her room, quietly, of course, so as not to wake up Mommy and Daddy, then stomp around as loudly as they could, 'whispering' and giggling until Joe and I decided to put them out of their misery. As soon as we released them from their rooms Lizzie and her sisters would bound down the stairs and see what Santa had left for them. Lizzie being Lizzie, she always checked to see if Santa had taken his cookie before she pounced on her packages. And I swear to you, she danced and gasped with delight with each and every package. She took the time to say thank you in between presents, and admired each one before moving on.
One year I decided I wanted more of a 'designer' tree, and suggested not putting up our usual ornaments in favor of a matching display. Lizzie did not like that idea at - she wanted our family ornaments up and fought me all the way - until I gave up on my designer tree and went with the traditional.
This year, our tree is up, donned with all the traditional ornaments that Lizzie loved, and a few new ones - some red roses and several butterflies and rainbows. I cherish our little tree with the handmade ornaments and cute little angel topper that I bought 17 years ago at a dollar store (another one of Lizzie's favorites).
I took a stocking out to the cemetery today. I wanted her to have one this year. The area that we chose for her is very windy and we have lost quite a few items because of that. Afraid that we would end up losing the stocking too, I looked around for a rock or something to put it in to anchor it down. Not finding any, I saw the jar of popcorn Molly had taken out there last month. Putting it in the stocking, I laughed, thinking how tickled Lizzie would be to find popcorn in her stocking, especially Molly's special recipe popcorn!
So this Christmas, when grief and stress threatnen to overwhelm me, I will remind myself to enjoy the ordinary moments and the simple gifts in life...I will remember the thrift store angel tree topper and the stocking with the popcorn in it, and my sweet angel who is rejoicing in heaven.
Happy Holidays, everyone...
Thursday, December 4, 2008 4:38 PM CST
Christmas time again...this was always Lizzie's favorite time of the year. She'd start playing her favorite Christmas CD by Charlotte Church as soon as the turkey was cleaned off her Thanksgiving plate. As much as she loved to recieve gifts, I know she loved giving them so much more. She kept files on her friends and family; in the files she made notes of what different people liked, such as their favorite candle scent, or favorite cookie. What kind of movies they liked, what kind of books they read.
Lizzie had favorite foods that she requested for this time of the year - cheese balls with crackers (trisquits, just like her daddy), shrimp with cocktail sauce, and of course, pickle wraps! Our Christmas ritual was always the same. Fix our goodies on Christmas Eve, put them in the fridge for later, go to Mass, drive around looking at lights, then come back home to sing songs and munch on our goodies we had prepared earlier. Then set the cookies and milk out for Santa, go to bed. In the morning Lizzie would gather her sisters in her room, quietly, of course, so as not to wake up Mommy and Daddy, then stomp around as loudly as they could, 'whispering' and giggling until Joe and I decided to put them out of their misery. As soon as we released them from their rooms Lizzie and her sisters would bound down the stairs and see what Santa had left for them. Lizzie being Lizzie, she always checked to see if Santa had taken his cookie before she pounced on her packages. And I swear to you, she danced and gasped with delight with each and every package. She took the time to say thank you in between presents, and admired each one before moving on.
One year I decided I wanted more of a 'designer' tree, and suggested not putting up our usual ornaments in favor of a matching display. Lizzie did not like that idea at - she wanted our family ornaments up and fought me all the way - until I gave up on my designer tree and went with the traditional.
This year, our tree is up, donned with all the traditional ornaments that Lizzie loved, and a few new ones - some red roses and several butterflies and rainbows. I cherish our little tree with the handmade ornaments and cute little angel topper that I bought 17 years ago at a dollar store (another one of Lizzie's favorites).
I took a stocking out to the cemetery today. I wanted her to have one this year. The area that we chose for her is very windy and we have lost quite a few items because of that. Afraid that we would end up losing the stocking too, I looked around for a rock or something to put it in to anchor it down. Not finding any, I saw the jar of popcorn Molly had taken out there last month. Putting it in the stocking, I laughed, thinking how tickled Lizzie would be to find popcorn in her stocking, especially Molly's special recipe popcorn!
So this Christmas, when grief and stress threatnen to overwhelm me, I will remind myself to enjoy the ordinary moments and the simple gifts in life...I will remember the thrift store angel tree topper and the stocking with the popcorn in it, and my sweet angel who is rejoicing in heaven.
Happy Holidays, everyone...
Thursday, November 13, 2008 8:18 AM CST
I apologize in advance for my negative, but truthful, posting.
What does it mean to pray? When you ask someone, Will you pray for me, what exactly are you asking for?
This morning I was asked to pray for someone, and I thought, really? You want me, someone who God is clearly not listening to, to pray for you? So what does it mean? Are you putting in a request? Are you just putting it out there so you can feel better about the situation? "Well, I prayed for so-and-so. It will all be ok now." Do you really truly believe that by saying, "God, please help Sally get better" that God will say, Oh, well, sure thing. One healthy Sally coming right up. And then, if Sally doesn't get better, what does that mean? God was busy? God was mad at you? God has a "bigger plan"? If that is the case, why do we bother praying, or asking for prayers?? If it is all going to go the way 'it is supposed to' why do we bother at all? Are we just robots, going along on an already mapped out course?
Prayers are a dangerous thing, if you ask me. Reading these caringbridge sites, you can easily find those lucky ones who can say, "Wow, God has been good to us. Our child beat cancer. He really answered our prayers." But you can just as easily stumble upon those that were not so lucky. So does the opposite apply? Was God not good to that family? Why did those prayers go unanwered? Can you really have one and not the other?
Thousands upon thousands dropped to their knees countless times, praying for Lizzie. So, how can our family feel that God has been good to us, that there is any reason at all to pray? We cannot. Asking me to pray for someone is like stabbing me in the heart. Because, let's say I go along with the idea, throw up a request to the all-mighty, and bango, prayer answered. Where does that leave Lizzie? I just don't understand.
So, at this point, I should say, please pray for me and my negative attitude. Roll that dice, and see which way it lands. Blessed, not blessed. It sure seems like a gamble. With great gains, but huge loss.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008 7:14 PM CST
Last Sunday, during church, Kaylie was sitting on my lap, quietly playing. All of a sudden she looks up, turns to me and says, "I see Lizzie!" Her eyes were twinkling, and she seemed so certain. It was much like when one of our friends come over, and she sees them at the door and says, "So-and-so is here!"
There have been many Sundays when Joe will ask her if she sees Lizziegirl, and most days she stops playing, looks around, and then generally points to "God" (the crucifix) and says she's there. She has always been very sincere, and always looks, really looks, before she answers. We always feel closer to Lizzie on those days, and are very grateful Kaylie still has that special bond with her big sister.
But on this Sunday, when SHE was the first to mention it, it really took away any doubts I may have had. Not to mention that it was All Souls Day, and a Sunday, AND the second year anniversary of Lizzie's funeral. It was a heavy morning, walking into church, remembering. But to have Kaylie so naturally and joyously call out Lizzie's name helped to remind us that Lizzie is so happy, so free, and maybe, just maybe, still so near.
Thank you to everyone that called, stopped for a hug, sent flowers, drew rainbows, posted here, and remembered our sweet angel. You keep us going.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008 8:34 AM CDT
Faith
by Lindsay Connely
Everyone contributes a little part of themselves to another person. When someone laughs another person may absentmindedly pick up on their chuckle. When someone smiles it fills another with a sense of happiness. When someone gives another a high five with the feeling of success another person picks up on that habit without even knowing. Everything we do is a ripple effect. One person can change another's way of thinking or actions without even knowing it. People have more power than they think but some choose to take that power and put it into action. Lizzie took that power and was one to change people's lives and their way of thinking.
One value Lizzie definitely had was faith which is one of the values I possess today because of her. Lizzie's favorite quote was "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enought trouble of it's own." This quote means so much to me because I knew it was something Lizzie truly believed in and she helped me believe in it as well. She encouraged me to think that this could be the last day, so always live your life to its fullest and dont leave with any regreat.
Lizzie was diagnosed with a rare liver cancer called hepatablastoma on April 1, 2002. She went through more than some people go through in a lifetime, but she also touched many more people as well, especially our class at KCHS.
How did it all begin? Our freshman year we knew Lizzie would be coming into our class and of course we were excited. We all wanted to do what ever we could to help her and her family as much as we could because they were going through a very hard time with her illness. There are many words to describe how happy Lizzie was on the first day of school with kids yelling her name down the hallway to greet her. It was like something magical had happened and already she was affecting how we were inside. Was it a bright smile, those sparkling eyes, or just the sense that if you were with her anything could happen, or any miracle could happen? It seemed as if God was coninuously giving us signs when we were by her side. It was almost like she was the telescope into what we wanted to see all on our own but just couldn't because we needed that extra distance to find what we were really looking for. We weren't looking for a miracle but miracles just came to us. Lizzie coming to us was a miracle all on its own.
We went through a lot with Lizzie and her family at that time. Late night football games where we just sat around and talked about everything we could thinks of including Gilmore Girls. I remember the day in class where we had to pick what animal we would be and she chose a soaring eagle. We brought her homecoming week because she was too sick to come to school. Our class voted her homecoming royalty. We were able to play with Lizzie's litlle sisters and color rainbows and butterflies with chalk. Crazy signs in the yards, skittles, licorice, and suckers with colors of the rainbow, little notes, rainbow volleyball ribbons, and dedicated football and volleyball games were all to let her know we cared. We wanted to show her that no matter what happened we would be her friend through it all. On Sunday, October 29, 2006 Lizzie's Mom wrote on the website our sweet, beautiful earth angel has her wings. That said it all. Our hearts were broken but not near as much as Lizzie's family. If we were having this much difficulty, how could they be feeling at the moment?
One of the nights after Lizzie had received her wings, we got our class together with different colored flashlights and with Father Matt went over to the Stratton house singing one of the songs that reminded us of Lizzie. Our class just stood outside their house and prayed the rosary. We prayed for Lizzie, prayed for the Stratton family, prayed for the people she touched, for anybody who had to go through the pain of losing a child, grandchild, sister,or friend. We stood in a circle, our hands gripping each other for support. The stars were the brightest they had ever been, and the night was perfectly still. The Stratton's come out of the house and gave us all hugs, and I know it had to mean so much to them. I just stared into the sky for a few moments and instantly knew she was with us. That was the greatest night of my entire life. It's a feeling I know not everyone will feel and some may never feel it. It's the feeling that everything can be so wrong but yet you come together to make something feel right again. It's the feeling that no matter what happens you have to have faith for a new beginning.
Monday, October 20, 2008 8:17 PM CDT
Go TEAM LIZZIE!! I sit here with so many emotions...first of all, yes, to all of his 'fans', Uncle Jeff did participate yesterday in the Des Moines Half-Marathon!! Way to go Uncle Jeff!!! He crossed the finish line with that cocky grin in place, and I am sure Lizzie was dancing around him as he did. I hope he will post, but if he doesn't, I want everyone to know that he did see an eagle along the course, so I KNOW she was so happy to see him out there!!
Along with Jeff, Aunt Lisa completed her first half, and is ready for another one, and so did my nephews, Tanner, who is 13, and Tyler, Lizzie's very special friend and cousin. As did several more aunts and uncles, second cousins, and many friends and family. Uncle Jerry rocked his second race, and Aunt Mimi fiercely pushed past her pain to conquer her second half-marathon!
And Lizzie's daddy completed his 3rd half in one year! Despite an injury he was able to get out there and smile through another 13.1 miles, making his Lizziegirl so proud!
I had to experience it all as a spectator this time; while I really wanted to be out there running, and not watching, it was an honor to see everyone cross that finish line, to see that sheer determination on their faces as they powered through to the end. It made me very proud to be part of such as awesome group.
We had the honor of meeting someone new to the group this time. Chris is the dad of a liver cancer survivor; we have shared emails with this family for a few years, and he decided to join us in Des Moines this year. It was wonderful getting to meet him and welcome him to the group.
Joe and I cannot express what it means to us to have so many people making the effort of training, traveling and committing to TEAM LIZZIE. We love to watch it grow. And we love to be surrounded by such strong, courageous people.
To our first timers, WAY TO GO!! And to our full marathoners, Eric and Amy, you guys ROCK!! What an incredible accomplishment, every single one of you. You are living life to it's fullest, digging deep and living life LizzieStyle!!!
In just a few short days we will run smack into that dreaded 2 year anniversary date, marking the day that we woke up without our Sweet Elizabeth. We miss our girl so much. Although we may smile and laugh, and live and love, not a moment goes by that we don't feel that great loss. Every good moment is followed by, "but Lizzie isn't here."
Sweet Elizabeth, I don't know how to express how much we miss you. What we wouldn't give to go back 16 years ago and do it all again, to have every moment back. We love you Sweet girl. We will continue to spread your message of love and hope, of courage and determination. Thank you for giving us so much, and for teaching us even more.
Happy soaring, baby girl...
Monday, October 13, 2008 4:20 PM CDT
Some thoughts from TEAM LIZZIE member, Shari Geiser.
I sit here wondering just how to begin, what exactly to say. This is tough for me and I truly can't imagine just how tough it is for you, Sami & Joe. With every update we are one day farther away from that last conversation, laugh, smile we all had with Lizzie. We all still check Lizzie's website everyday, once a week, every so often...waiting for your words that seem to flow so easily to make us feel better, more in touch with the Strattons. I guess this makes me realize how much we all need to keep you close. I realize that with each passing day life gets in the way of a phone call, or a visit. Life seems to go back to normal for some, but not for you. Every time I speak with you I realize the pain is not easing with time, in many ways it just gets stonger. As difficult as your days are, you still continue to share your sweet Lizzie-girl with us in so many ways. Thank you for that.
Team Lizzie Rainbow and Team Lizzie Eagle ran this past weekend in the Market to Market relay from the Old Market in Omaha to the Haymarket in Lincoln. Wow...what an amazing journey we all had from start to finish. We all felt Lizzie's spirit carrying us through...we even saw an eagle or two along the way. Starting in the dark and traveling through some of the most beautiful parts of Eastern Nebraska was incredible... breathtaking. Each and every member ran every mile with Lizzie in mind. We all made comments "Lizzie pulled me through that leg"..."I had to call on Lizzie to get through that run". It was a challenge, no leg nearly as hard as what Lizzie went through. With lots of time to think we realized how lucky we all are to have the ability to run, to use our legs, to have our health, to do it for Lizzie. We had so many other teams ask "who's Lizzie?" Each time we told the story we were met with emotions, and encouragement to keep doing what we are doing. We all, at some point in time during the day, told our story that has unfolded in the last two years. We were approached by some who said "we saw you at the Lincoln 1/2...you have a HUGE team!" and we ended our day walking out of the post race shindig with a team approaching us, teary eyed, saying "we love what you are doing...keep doing it." How proud we all were to run mile by mile Lizzie style.
Another race is approaching...the Des Moines Marathon and 1/2 marathon is this weekend and once again Team Lizzie will be there in force! Best of luck to every runner as we tackle another incredible Team Lizzie run. Joe will be running, as well as his two brothers, sisters in law, aunts, uncles, and numerous other family members. Sami...we want you strong and healthy so we hope you choose to cheer!!! I know we have at least one full marathoner among us...go Eric!
Sami...thanks for asking me to update for you. Although not your words, it is from the heart. I know it's just not the same, not reading your words so eloquently written, so we all look forward to your next update.
Once again...good luck Team Lizzie...look for the eagles and rainbows along the way and run every mile with Lizzie in mind! Mile by Mile...Lizzie Style!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008 12:27 AM CDT
I can't believe it's October. I can't believe we are nearing the 2 year anniversary of losing Lizziegirl. My heart aches with every leaf that falls, with every cool breeze that brings whispers of the past, of that October 2 years ago that was so very intense. Of homecoming week, when those crazy, wonderful kids decortated our yard and brought all the festivities to Lizzie. Of football games. Of watching Lizzie lay in her hosptial bed, napping, relieved temporarily from her pain. I remember watching for each breath, wondering if it would be her last. I remember not wanting her to go, but not wanting her to hurt anymore. What an awful tug of war. I remember the sounds of the band as they played outside our door for Lizzie. I remember holding Lizzie's hand, feeling her soft skin against mine. I remember saying goodbye.
In 18 days some of TEAM LIZZIE will travel to Des Moines, Iowa for another marathon. Others will drive to Omaha for the Market-to-Market run in 2 weeks. We run for our Lizziegirl, to celebrate her firey spirit, the one that continues to set the world on fire. Thank you, TEAM LIZZIE, for running, for remembering.
Sweet Elizabeth, so many times someone tells me they saw a butterfly and thought of you. Or an eagle or rainbow, and again you came to mind. What a fire you have lit in people, honey. Daddy and I are so proud of you, and we miss you so much. Help us get through this month. And the next. And the next. Stay close, baby, even as you soar. Love you...mama
Thursday, September 18, 2008 8:20 PM CDT
"Letting go is the hardest thing you can do as parent. You have to settle with the past, engage in the present, and believe in the future...the bond is forever, even as your child ventures out; they will always be with us, we will always be with them. Life is a voyage that is homeward bound." ~from the movie Cheaper by the Dozen 2
Tonight Kaylie drew a picture of our family. In it she included herself, Joe, Jess, Abby and myself. I reminded her that she still needed to draw Lizzie. She said, "oh, I know. I will draw her in the clouds."
I felt like crying. I don't want Lizzie to be 'in the clouds'. I want her to be here, in her room, doing her homework, texting her friends. I want to argue with her about not cleaning her room. I want to discuss colleges. I want to watch a movie with her again. Help her with her homework. Give her advice about her friendships. Take her to get her hair cut and buy makeup. And shoes. I want my baby girl here. Not there, in the clouds.
I know I have to let go. I know she is ultimately home. But she is not here.
As October draws closer, every sound, every scent reminds me of our last days with Lizzie. Those are sacred days. Days we will always treasure, but never get back.
I will try to settle with the past, engage in the present, and believe in the future. And I will look homeward bound, to that day when I get to wrap my arms around my sweet girl once again.
Sunday, September 7, 2008 11:20 AM CDT
The Des Moines Marathon is just 6 weeks away! And Market to Market only 5!! I hope everyone's training is going well. I am out with a stress fracture and really miss the training. Maybe everyone can run a mile or so for me! And add one for Joe, too - he is having calf issues again and his training hasn't been going very well.
We need to have your shirts in the next week or so. If you need to order spectator shirts, please email Beckie, Melissa or myself with that number.
I have tried numerous times to post something about Stand Up To Cancer, the show that aired Friday night. I just can't. It was frightening and moving and I am for once at a loss for words. I have so many emotions in my heart but I just can't seem to express them this time.
Tomorrow is Abby's 10th birthday, and Tuesday Kaylie will be 5. Lizzie was so excited for both of her sister's births (she was 2 when Jess was born and didn't really understand what was happening). With both Abby and Kaylie, she would come up to me and gently put her hand on my tummy and talk to the baby. I also have great memories of her using my tummy as a table; she would put both arms on the top of my mountain-like stomach and look up at me with those gorgeous eyes and smile. She was so excited about the upcoming additions to the family. We always said she would make a fantastic mother. I can only imagine how happpy she is up in heaven, taking care of all the little angels up there.
Lizziegirl, Daddy and I miss you more today than yesterday, but probably not as much as we will tomorrow. The loss only gets larger, and harder. I know you will find a way to be around for the birthday celebrations. How we wish you were here in person, though, helping us plan the parties, helping us celebrate like you always did. We love you, baby girl. Sending hugs to heaven...mama
Friday, August 29, 2008 1:19 PM CDT
I cannot go a day (and I bet you can't either) without hearing that someone else has fallen victim to cancer. What in the world is going on? And what do we need to do about it? There are so many wonderful fundraising efforts out there, and I am grateful for them. But they didn't save my daughter. Or my friend's daughter. Or my daughter's friend's mom. Over 600,000 Americans lose their lives to this epidemic every year. EVERY YEAR. Joe has an aunt who is a cancer survivor. She had cancer over 20 years ago. The same medicine they used for her was used to treat Elizabeth. Different cancers, 20 years apart, same medicine. What is research doing for us? Where is all the effort and money going? Our good friend, Charis, was here last weekend for the Lizzie Run. She is an oncology nurse, and she explained to me that cancer is just very very complicated, and there are so many different variables that it makes it so difficult to fight. Knowing this, WE must fight harder. More research? I don't know. I honestly don't know what the answer is, what direction to start figthing. All I know is, it's time. Is it in the water? The pesticides? The air? The genes? Probably yes, to all, and then some. We must STAND together and FIGHT harder. Cancer is knocking on our doors - it's that monster in the backyard that wants in - and it's up to us to run it out of our neighborhoods, our communities, our world.
Please tune in September 5th to ABC, NBC or CBS at 7 p.m. central - together, let's all STAND UP 2 CANCER.
Friday, August 22, 2008 3:03 PM CDT
Tomorrow is the 2nd Annual Lizzie Stratton Memorial Run. Joe and I are so honored to be a part of such a great school and community, and to have our daughter honored and remembered in this way. I just want to say thank you to all of Lizzie's friends and family who have driven several hours to attend the run tomorrow, and to everyone in the Kearney area who will be there in the morning. It means so much to us.
As we remember our Mighty Miracle tomorrow, we cannot forget the urgent need to fight the horrible beast who took her away from us. Cancer is gaining strength; everyone has been touched by it's ugly fingers; everyone knows someone who has been to battle. It's time we take our research and awareness to a new level.
On September 5th, NBC, ABC, & CBS will be airing a show called 'Stand Up to Cancer'. Log onto the website (www.standup2cancer.org) to get more information on what you can do to join the fight. Please, let's all 'Stand Up to Cancer'. It's past time.
Good luck to everyone running and walking tomorrow. Have fun, take a moment to watch for butterflies, and maybe even a rainbow. And remember, in the words of our Sweet Elizabeth, "Carpe Diem!"
This one is for you, sweet girl. We love you so.
Monday, August 11, 2008 2:56 PM CDT
"Feel the fear and do it anyway." -Susan Jeffers
For many of us beginning our training, this is exactly what we will be doing for the next 10 weeks - feeling the fear but running anyway. There is plenty to fear, after all, even for the ones who have done several half and full marathons. Fear of injuries, fear of not being able to go the distance, fear of letting ourselves down. Yet we grab our ipods, lace up our rainbow shoelaces, and hit the trail. We face our fears, we push ourselves to go farther, faster, we kick back. And we do it in honor of Lizzie, in honor of ourselves.
Yesterday in church Father Matt spoke about the storms in our lives, the struggles we all face. It is so hard to see the beauty of God when the ugliness of evil is all around us, so present and strong. He reminded us that it is easy to have a strong faith when all is going well, to feel so strong and sure in your faith that you can walk on water. Yet there are times when your faith weakens, when the storms grow strong. He told us those are the times when you just keep on swimming. You might not have the strength to walk on water, you might struggle just to keep your head above it all. But just keep on swimming.
TEAM LIZZIE is up to over 70 people. As you face your training runs, on the days when it feels just too overwhelming, remember, "Feel the fear, and do it anyway." And just keep on swimming.
I will be sending out an email in the next couple of days regarding shirt orders, a pre-run pasta feed and post-run breakfast (for the Des Moines runners). If you do not receive this email, it is because I don't have your email. Please send me an email letting me know so I can add you to the group. (Was that confusing enough?!?)
We are meeting this Saturday, 8 a.m. at Cottonmill Park, at the bridge, for a run. Because there are so many different training plans being used this time, there will be no distance signs out or water breaks provided. Please come prepared for your own distance and beverage needs (no whiskey, Mike ;0).
Happy training everyone!
Monday, July 28, 2008 1:00 PM CDT
There is a monster in the backyard. It's invisible. It's silent. It's evil. It's strong.
Lock your doors, board the windows. Hide in the basement. It won't matter. This monster can and will and does slip through the cracks. It sneaks in through the vents. It takes over your body without you knowing. And by the time you do know, all the toxic medicine in the world that will be pored into your body to fight it may or may not keep the monster away. This monster is everywhere. It's in your mom's backyard. It's in your uncle's. In your best friend's. Your best friend's daughter. And it's quite possibly in yours.
Money is poured into research to fight this beast. Millions upon millions of dollars. And still, it gains strength. Everywhere I go, I here of another victim of this monster. One at a time, it's taking over our loved ones. Our friends. Our family. Our future.
What can we do? This monster, cancer, is strong. It fights
without mercy, without compassion. Without fairness. Randomly, it strikes. Hitting that household. And that one. And skips that one.
There is a woman at our church; she has faced the monster for several years now. She is a wife, and a mom. And she is growing weary.
There is a woman at our school; she is about to face the monster. She is a wife. And a mom.
There is a teenager. A doctor. A baby. A husband. A farmer. A banker. A student. A grandma. The healthy eater is not safe. The big-mac regular is not safe. The runner. The couch potato.
It's waiting. What will you do, knowing that it is in your backyard, waiting? Invisible. Silent. Evil. Strong.
All we can do is live each moment, embrace each day and love without conditions. So easy to say, harder to do. So many times we let life get to us. We are tired, stressed, busy. But we have to remember that at any moment, our life can be changed in an instant.
Joe and I have been told, time and time again, how inspiring Lizzie was and is. She continues to touch lives and teach lessons. For that we are grateful. We know that was one of her missions.
Abby found yet another diary of Lizzie's. This one was started the day before we took her to the doctor's office, hours before the monster knocked on our door. She talks about going to the doctor, about receiving the news that she had cancer. She went through the emotions you would expect from a 9 year old - fear, confusion, etc. But after reviewing what was about to happen to her, she wrote, "My goal is to have a good attitude about my situation."
Yesterday Joe and I went for a 4 mile run. It was so hot, 90 degrees and humid. As we neared a hill, one that always wears me out, I told Joe I was anxious about doing it that day. I told him that it always kicks my butt. He told me, "Kick back." That struck a cord with me, and I repeated it as I trudged my way up.
That is exactly what Lizziegirl did to the monster. She kicked back. And in her way, she won. She lived each day, truly lived each moment. She was always, always in the moment. I am so proud of my daughter. She put more into her life that many of us in our 30's and 40's have. And she continues to teach people, to reach people, and to gather us all in, in hope, and in strength.
As we begin training for our next big fall run, I'm grateful for everyone who has joined TEAM LIZZIE, for everyone that continues to check on us and cheer us on. For everyone that has decided to live life out loud, and for everyone who is ready to "Kick back".
Sunday, July 20, 2008 12:37 AM CDT
Hi TEAM LIZZIE! Thirteen weeks from now is the Des Moines Marathon! Next week training will begin for many of you! We are having a kick-off party next Saturday at 6 p.m. at our house. Please let me know if you can make it. We are asking that if you come, you bring a side dish or dessert and your favorite drink. Please e-mail me to let me know if you will be here.
I am getting the training folders ready and will get them in the mail tomorrow.
In addition to the Des Moines Marathon and Half-Marathon, several members of TEAM LIZZIE will be running the Market-to-Market Relay in October. This is a run that starts in Omaha and goes to Lincoln. For those of you doing that, you will begin training the first week in August.
We also have the 2nd Annual Lizzie Stratton Memorial 5k and 1 Mile Fun Run to benefit Kearney Catholic High School on August 23rd. Please e-mail me if you need a registration form.
Joe and I are so happy to announce that as of right now, we have 67 people on TEAM LIZZIE! We stand in awe of you all, embracing the 'LiveStrong LifeStyle', working so hard to live your life to it's absolute fullest. Thank you for standing beside us, helping us spread Lizzie's message around the world.
Sunday, July 6, 2008 5:21 PM CDT
I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe weekend. Check out the new photos - the last one will make you smile!
TEAM LIZZIE will begin training in a few weeks. If you think you will be going to Des Moines for the half in October, I recommend reserving a hotel room NOW. They are going fast. You can now register for the run online at www.desmoinesmarathon.com.
We are so happy to see our team growing! In the photo area I posted a picture of TEAM LIZZIE '07 and '08. It is heartwarming to see how fast people have come together in Lizzie's honor. I can only imagine how happy she is to see it all coming together, to see people reaching for a goal, people trying so hard to be their best, and people living their life to it's fullest.
We have many walkers and joggers on the TEAM, so if you have any interest, please don't be intimidated by the distance. You can do it, it is possible. Between the TEAM's encouragement and energy, and a very special angel helping you along, it is possible.
Remember..."Courage doesn't always roar...sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
'I will try again tomorrow.' " ~Mary Anne Radmacher
Is it your time to try?
Friday, June 27, 2008 1:57 PM CDT
Joe and I recently had a conversation with some friends of ours about grief's time-table. Some people believe the second year is harder than the first; that first year you are in such a daze, nothing about your life is right and you are just trying to figure it all out. Then, that second year comes around, and still nothing is right, but the numbness is wearing off, and, I do believe, it is harder. At least some parts of it. For me, I am learning to live with a certain level of pain; the pain is far from gone, but my heart has adjusted to constant shudders and aches. However, there are still times when I think I am managing, and I round the corner and get hit with a memory; a song, a book, someone calls out to their little girl who happens to be named Elizabeth (that's a tough one you never see coming). Then I'm back on my knees, feeling those shudders and aches more than ever.
My mom, who lost her daughter, my sister, Vickie, 15 years ago, says that that is pretty much how it goes, whether it's the first year, second, or 10th. You learn to live with the loss, with the struggle, and you just move forward. Not on. Never on, because there will always, always, be a huge void in our life without Lizzie. But you just move forward. You face Friday. And then Saturday. And Sunday. And you stay on constant guard, waiting for the next memory to come out of nowhere, and everywhere.
It's hard to believe that this time two years ago, Lizziegirl was here. I think of the hours we spent watching Gilmore Girls, and Friends, and working on those scrapbooks together. Trips to Hobby Lobby to buy stickers. Trips to Target to buy goodies. Our big walk down to Barista's, and then the ride back home in Caroline's truck. All those precious hours of snuggling. She would ask me to lay my head on her lap, and then she would take her hand that she could barely move and rub my back. Spaghetti. Jimmy Johns. More Gilmore Girls. Waking up and hearing that sweet voice call out, "Mommy!!" And that sweet, sweet smile.
Oh, yes...there are those shudders and aches. Stronger than ever...
Sunday, June 15, 2008 9:10 AM CDT
Update: TEAM LIZZIE: here are the dates for training:
If you are following the 12 week plan (beginners & walkers) training begins July 27th.
If you are following the 10 week plan training begins August 10th.
Until then, you should be building up your base, running (or walking) 2-4 days a week.
More info to follow.
Check out the new pictures posted.
end of update.
Happy Father's Day to all you wonderful dads out there!
Lizziegirl always looked forward to Father's Day. Weeks before, she would start coming up with gift ideas, usually home-made. She would sit on the floor in her room and paint, draw, paste, etc, her way to a sweet little trinket. If Joe would walk in the room she would squeal out "Daddy! Don't come in!!" Giggling, she would stuff everything under the bed and come out and scold Joe for peaking.
Then, that morning, she would be the first to throw her arms around Joe, offering him a "Happy Father's Day, Daddy" then hurry off to gather her present.
Joe and Lizzie always had a very special relationship. As Lizzie got older, she and Joe would get in to some deep debates. Joe just knew he was right, Lizzie knew she was right...usually it turned out Liz was right...sorry Joe.
When Lizzie's hair starting falling out, Joe got out the clippers and handed them to Lizzie. Laughing, she gave him a nice mohawk (pictures to follow) before shaving his head completely. Then, when Lizzie was through with treatments and her hair was finally allowed to grow out, Joe's was too. It's still growing. I am sure I can hear Lizzie giggling when people give Joe a hard time about his locks. And when he grumbles about not being able to control it. And when the girls braid it and put it into pig tails (pictures to follow).
Lizziegirl, please let your daddy know you are close by today. He needs his little girl with him. Help him hear your laughter somehow, and feel your sweet little arms wrapping him up in a hug...
Wednesday, June 4, 2008 3:51 PM CDT
Hi everyone! We have had some questions asked about our next big run for TEAM LIZZIE.
We are planning on doing the Des Moines Marathon and Half Marathon on October 19, 2008. Training for the half-marathoners will officially start next month, but this month should be spent building up your base.
Why did we choose Des Moines? There are a couple of reasons; when we first decided to, the run was advertised for October 29th - the anniversary date of Lizzie's death. That seemed pretty appropriate for TEAM LIZZIE. However, the next time we went onto their website, the date had been changed to the 19th. But by then, we had decided it would be fun to run in Des Moines because Joe has a lot of family in that area. So we just decided to keep the plan the same. It sounds like a very fun run, not too big, not too small.
Registration is now open: from now until July 21st the cost for the half is $40, then it goes up to $45.
Please visit the website to get more information and to register. You can also find hotel information there. www.desmoinesmarathon.com
"If you like friendly people, fun activities and well organized events, come to the IMT Des Moines Marathon. It should be on every marathoner's to-do list." - Jeff Galloway, U.S. Olympian and Runner's World editor/columnist.
TEAM LIZZIE continues to grow! We now have an "Iowa Branch" - several of Joe's relatives have jumped on board! In addition, we have had a lot of interest from other people in Kearney, Wisconsin, and many other places. We are so excited to have our TEAM growing - it is a great way to get to talk about our Lizziegirl,to keep her memory and message alive, and to livestrong in her honor.
If you are interested in being a part of TEAM LIZZIE, please e-mail or call me (my e-mail is at the bottom of this page). The only requirements are that you live strong, appreciate each second you are given, and run with Lizzie in mind.
Happy running, everyone!
Saturday, May 31, 2008 9:36 AM CDT
Hello, everyone! Thank you for all your thoughts and concern over the storms. Joe and I are fine. Luckily, the girls are in Iowa with Grandma and Grandpa, so Joe and I were the only ones we had to worry about. It was pretty exciting around here, but we got through it without any damage to our house. As far as we can figure, one tornado went through right to the south of us, hitting one of the hospital offices, and another one went right down the street just north of us, so we are very lucky. We were calling on Lizziegirl pretty hard!
While we escaped damage, a lot of Kearney got hit pretty hard; our thoughts go out to you all.
Monday is Joe's birthday; Happy Birthday to the best daddy in the world!
Monday, May 26, 2008 9:10 PM CDT
Sweet Elizabeth,
We are at Grandma and Grandpa's farm in Iowa...there are so many memeories surrounding this place...we were sitting on the front porch this morning and I was swept away by memories...
I swear I could hear your giggles as you raced around the picnic table as your cousin Tyler chased after you, you in your diaper, holding your bottle, huge smile in place. You were laughing so hard you couldn't hardly stand, yet you waddled quickly round and round the table. Now Tyler is graduating from high school and you are not here.
Jess got to drive the lawn mower today. I rememeber when you got to do that. We have the most beautiful picture of you, sitting on Grandma's lap, driving around the yard, laughing.
I walked around today, looking at the rolling front yard, recalling you tumbling down the green, grassy slope in the summer, sledding down the snow-covered path with your uncles lining the path, cheering you on, daddy at the bottom, ready to catch you.
The tire swing...how you loved to be pushed on that. And Grandma's garden...you always helped her with the green beans...as I walk along a butterfly dances by me, and I know you have joined us here. Remember that huge water fight YOU started in 2004? We had so much fun! Kaylie was a baby, and Grandma and Grandpa had a blanket in the front yard where they sat with Kayliegirl; they told us IT was OFF limits...but everything else was fair game, and boy, did we play hard! I think everything got soaked, maybe even grandma and grandpa!!
Today, Abby found a diary that you kept while you were here...you hid it, and Grandma has been looking for it. It was started, to the date, three years ago. I have a feeling you helped Abby find it. You talked about the fun and love you found here, on Grandma's farm.
Yesterday we walked through the woods with Uhcle Jerry, Aunt Melissa, your cousins, sisters, Grandpa, Daddy and I the other day. We finished off the walk with a dip in the river. Kaylie and Grandma found a little butterfly. It sat very quietly on Grandma's hand for a long time, then decided to fly away. Later, I was walking, and looked down, and there it was, walking towards me. I scooped it up and took it to show Abby; she stuck her finger out and it grabbed onto her and wrapped it's wing's around her finger.
We miss you, Lizzie. You are in every thought, every breath, every rainbow, every eagle, every rose, every tear. We keep you close, baby. We miss you so. We remember, always, and forever...
Thursday, May 22, 2008 11:09 AM CDT
FYI for those in the Kearney area:
Relay for Life Fundraiser
There are two fundraisers: Please join us for one or both.
Feel Free to tell all your friends: all are welcome!
What: Movie and Games
When: Friday May 23rd
Time: 6:30- 9:30
Where: The Connely's #4 21st Ave. Place
Why: To raise money for ellie's team "Just for Elizabeth Stratton" and Lindsay's team "Lizzie's Rainbow Makers"
Bring: Pjs and slippers
What: Pool Party!
When: Saturday May 24th
Time: 2:30- 4:30
Where: The Connely's #4 21st Ave. Place
Why: To raise Money for Relay team "Lizzie's Rainbow makers"
Bring: Swimsuits, Towels, and sunscreen
*Our team will provide enough people to monitor the pool including one-two certified lifeguards.
RSVP- The Connely's Home: 308-236-8959 4connely@gmail.com
Please consider helping these girls out in their fight to find a cure for cancer.
Yesterday Abby's school held their annual talent show. Abby decided to sing Sweet Elizabeth. Now, this is the girl who is pretty shy and has not participated in the event very often. But this year she decided to sing for her big sister. She wore a rainbow skirt, rainbow earrings, and a shirt with a butterfly on it. As she took the microphone she turned and faced Joe and myself. The entire time she sang, she kept her eyes on us. It was the sweetest thing. You could hear Jolie's voice ringing out with Abby's. I feel pretty sure that Sweet Elizabeth was in the room with us, singing right along. Abby girl, I am so proud of you for honoring your sister in such a precious way. You were very definitely LizzieBrave yesterday!
Sunday, May 18, 2008 5:54 PM CDT
While it wasn't the day I would have hoped for, Lizzie's sweet 16th birthday brought some comfort and celebration.
Several of Lizzie's friends stopped by after school to deliver hugs, playtime on the trampoline with Kaylie and Abby, and a large cookie decorated with a beautiful rainbow and butterfly (thanks, girls!).
We decided to have dinner at Red Lobster in honor of Lizzie's love of crab legs, but we stopped up at Lizzie's park first to release some balloons and sing Happy Birthday. As we approached her stone, we saw a giant butterfly balloon twirling and soaring above Lizzie's resting place (thank you Erika and Pat!). And then we saw the cars...Molly and her family made sure Lizzie got her wheels after all...there were 4 or 5 convertable toy cars "parked" at Lizzie's headstone. I can just imagine Lizzie's giggles as she watched the Trettel's putting them out there! And not just one, but many! That is so LizzieStyle!!
And then, as we got ready for bed, Joe and I were in the kitchen, and looked out and saw that Lizziegirl had stopped by to say hi...
After Lizzie had passed away, we were given a solar angel and had put it out at the cemetery. When it became mowing season we had to bring it home. It sat in our living room, but Joe discovered that it didn't work. He replaced the batteries and still, no light would shine from the angel. We gave up and placed her outside in Lizzie's garden, and night after night, Joe would check, and, night after night, no light would shine from the angel.
The night of Lizzie's birthday, the angel was lit up brightly, shining in on us.
The angel lit up every night, until Friday. Now she isn't lighting up again. Lizziegirl must be off soaring somewhere. But it's ok. We know she stays close...
Sunday, May 11, 2008 8:48 PM CDT
When Elizabeth was around 2 or 3, Joe took her to her very first movie, The Lion King. She fell in love with the characters and songs, and quickly memorized, in 3 year old fashion, the words to the main song. She would stand in our kitchen, wearing one of Joe's cowboy hats, singing, "Hakuna Matata...Phrassseee...Means no worries, for the rest of the days...Hakuna Matata...Phrasseese..." Stepping back and forth, she would proudly sing the words, smiling into the camera, owning the crowd.
When she was 12, she requested that just the two of us go to Red Lobster and have crab legs. When I was pregnant with her I CRAVED crab legs (remember, Uncle Jerry?) and luckily we lived in Nevade where you could get them at a good price. It turned out that I passed on the craving to Lizzie, and she was always up for that same meal. So for that birthday, the two of us got dressed up and went to Red Lobster. I was so honored that she wanted to spend the day with me.
Lizzie, I'm having a tough time getting through this one. I just miss your smile, your laughter, your easy way. You always brought sunshine into the room, and now it just feels like a constant gray.
Tomorrow, we will celebrate your beautiful life. We love you, baby girl...we remember, and we treasure...
Saturday, May 10, 2008 0:43 AM CDT
Sixteen years ago I was expecting my first child. My due date was May 9th, and I was ready. Boy, was I ready. I went into labor on the 11th, which happenend to be my 1 year anniversary to my wonderful husband. We congratulated each other and had that lovely frozen wedding cake in between contractions. Twenty four (yes, 24!!) hours later, we were blessed with a beautiful, tiny baby girl. In between tears Joe promised to polish up his gun to protect his precious little one from future boys (those really were his first words!! :)
Now, as we face our baby girl's sweet 16th birthday, I find myself awake at 1:00 a.m. I just cannot sleep. I still cannot believe that our sweet, precious little first born is gone. That she will not be here to celebrate such a big birthday. She should be excited about getting her driver's licence...about her what her boyfriend is getting for her...about what her summer might hold...about what her junior year of high school will be like...I see her classmates, other girls who are her age...their hair is long, they are driving their mom's minivans, they are wondering what college they will attend, they are full of mysteries and thoughts and habits I can't imagine because my baby's life was cut short.
Tonight we took Jess, Abby and Kaylie to see Sugarland. It was a double-edged sword for me because the last time I saw them it was with Lizzie. However, I am so glad we went. It turned into a magical evening, one I am very sure that Elizabeth was a part of...
Abby reminds me so much of Lizzie...and right now she is the same age as Lizzie was when her life was turned around by cancer...Abby has a silent wisdom to her, a special joy that surrounds her, yet a quietness to her that makes you have to lean in, pay attention to...we were at the concert and Abby decided to make her way closer to the stage. As the night went on, she got closer and closer to the center. And Joe and I got a little more nervous...still, something whispered, in me, it's ok, let her go...
Finally, the mother bear took over and I went in after her...I found her on a woman's shoulder, center stage, big smile on her face, bouncing to the beat. As I leaned in to grab her a man tapped me on the shoulder and said, "is that your litte girl?" I told him yes, and he assured me she was ok, his wife was holding onto her...long story short, before the evening was out, Abby was onstage with the opening act getting her picture taken, had her shirt signed by Jennifer herself, and had a wonder-filled, LizzieLike night. She truly seized the day.
And then, as I was thanking the couple who had taken Abby in throughout the concert, I told them that Abby had lost her sister almost 2 years ago and that this was something she really needed and deserved...and the woman who had held onto Abby all evening and had gotten her on stage grabs me and says, "what was your daughter's name??" I told her "Elizabeth" and she goes, "Lizzie?!, I know all about your sweet butterfly baby!"
What a world. Tonight, of all nights, we go to a concert, and in an event center full of people, Abby winds her way to a woman who knew Lizzie, who walked with her during a Relay for Life, and ends up having an incredible night. I'm pretty sure our sweet Angel was working the crowds tonight.
So now, as I lay awake, unable to sleep, thinking of my sweet Elizabeth, and how our world changed 16 years ago, I feel that she continues to walk with us. Not in a way we would have chosen, but still with us.
Dear Elizabeth...I love you so much. I long for what your life could have been...I am trying to trust that what you have now is more magnificent that I can even imagine...Happy Birthday Sweet Girl...thank you for staying near, for soaring low, and for teaching us all to seize the day...
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday Dear Elizabeth...
Happy Birthday to you...
In loving Memory...
May 12, 1992...
Happy Sweet 16...
Tuesday, May 6, 2008 1:49 PM CDT
I am really struggling with this update, and I don't know why. My emotions are all over the place...Sunday was an amazing day, one I will never forget. It started out with a big fat surprise from Joe's brother, Jerry. His wife, Melissa, had been training for the half, but little did we know (because he was very naughty and kept it a secret!!) that Jerry was also training for the half!! As we were lining up on Sunday, stretching and warming up, Jerry takes off his sweatshirt to reveal a TEAM LIZZIE running shirt and running bib! He's been training since last June, the little sneak! He did absolutley amazing, as did Melissa, and I'm sure Lizzie was dancing with joy at the little surprise her uncle delivered! So glad to have you on the TEAM, Uncle Jerry!
Every where we looked Sunday you could see a TEAM LIZZIE runner. As the gun sounded and we ticked off the miles, people cheered us on. Throughout the 13.1 miles, I lost track of how many times we heard, "Go TEAM LIZZIE!...what's TEAM LIZZIE?" Others would run up beside us and ask who Lizzie was, and we got to talk about our Sweet girl time and time again.
It was a beautiful, clear, calm day, full of wonderful supporters, dedicated runners, and Lizziegirl's sweet spirit surrounding us all. Thank you all...all of TEAM LIZZIE who made this the best run yet, all the family and friends that lined the streets encouraging us along...we are so so grateful to the love and friendships that have grown stronger over the past 12 weeks. Way to go everyone!
Lizzie's sweet 16th birthday is on the 12th. I will post pictures of her and of the race this upcoming week. Thanks so much for continuing to check in on us. We value your postings and support.
GO TEAM LIZZIE!! Can't wait for the next one!! (October 19, 2008)
Friday, May 2, 2008 10:40 PM CDT
Well, TEAM LIZZIE! Here we go! Can you believe it??
I am so full of emotions - there are so many people who are running for Elizabeth...some who never knew her, some who knew her so well...and all who seem to get her spirit, her zest for life...thank you all for running for our Sweet girl...for the grandparents who have traveled hours to come cheer us on...for the friends who have cried with us as we trained...for the ones who said 'I can't run but I'll do it for Lizzie'...for the children who put up with our crazy hours and afternoon naps...
Good luck to everyone on Sunday...we love each and every one of you...
Please Note: We are meeting Sunday morning at 6 a.m. in the Cornhusker Hotel lobby and walking to the race together. See ya then!!!
Just remember...Mile by Mile...LizzieStyle...with a Smile!!
P.S. I put this picture on Lizzie's homepage as a reminder of how strong Elizabeth was...the IV pole you see is feeding her chemotherapy...and look at that smile!!!
Monday, April 28, 2008 9:38 PM CDT
Hello Everyone, I am making a guest appearance as the editor of the website. The map of the Lincoln Half is a great resource for our supporters to plan spots to watch us along the route. A piece of advice for our supporters is to stay on the outside of the course because the course can be closed to traffic and you may get caught having to wait for runners to pass. Miles 3, 5, 6, and 9 are good places to watch the runners. The start is hectic with 6,000 people so it is not easy to see your runner start so you may just want to get to a spot on the course. Another tip, runners, give your approximate time per mile to your supporters so they can time when you will be at a certain mile. That will also give them an idea of how long they have to get to another observation point. Traffic and parking get a little crazy near the finish line so give yourself plenty of time to get near the finish line, park, and walk to the finish line in front of the coliseum on UNL campus. For those of you not raised in the Husker Nation, the coliseum is east of the football field.
If you have several family members watching you run, they may consider being at different locations along the course so there is not a great scramble to get to the next location, for example, Dad and the kids be at mile 5 and Grandpa and Grandma be at mile 7, then everyone gets back to finish line to watch. I hope you get the idea.
I think the best places to watch for spectators are between miles 3 and 9 with the exception of the bike path along Highway 2; the police don't want people stopping on the highway to watch and that makes sense.
Above all, plan a observation spot that after your runner goes by you can get to the finish. The finish is the most important.
Sami and I would again like to thank you all and your families for doing this with us. It is such an opportunity to bond with all of you and keep Lizzie with us daily alive and present. Lincoln will be my second half and it is an awesome feeling. Thank you all so much. Joe
Friday, April 25, 2008 11:46 AM CDT
TEAM LIZZIE:
Ok, since we've apparently stepped out of April and back into January (can you BELIEVE it was snowing today????) our outdoor run for tomorrow has been cancelled. If you choose to run inside at the YMCA tomorrow and need a pass, please e-mail me and I'll have one waiting for you at the front desk. I don't think we will plan on meeting at a certain time, so good luck everyone, and let us know how it goes! Hope to see you next Friday at our house!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008 5:17 PM CDT
Hey TEAM LIZZIE...we are approaching our very last long run before the Half Marathon! We will meet at TREVOR'S house (Laura's husband <;) on Saturday at 7:15 a.m. and begin running at 7:30. Please be familiar with your course. We will have water breaks at Jacque's house, Stratton's house and the corner of 56th and N (the last 2 for the 10 milers only).
There are a couple of people who cannot make it on Saturday and plan on being at the Y on Friday morning for their long run. Let me know if you are interested and I can tell you who to look for.
Hope to see you on the course!
Sweet Elizabeth...I was talking to a friend the other day who told me she talks to you when she is struggling through her runs. I laughed and told her she is not the first person to tell me that, and I do also. We got a good chuckle out of how busy you are right now, helping all these crazy people through their training! You must be exhausted!! :)
Seriously, sweet girl, I hope you know how much you continue to inspire people to try a little harder, to reach a little farther, to live a little better. Thank you, Lizziegirl. Miss you so much...
Saturday, April 19, 2008 6:18 PM CDT
UPDATE: Monday, April 20th 12:24 p.m.
Please keep Sandra and Johnny in your thoughts today: they are running in the Boston Marathon right now in honor and memory of their precious Angel Matty (visit/Matty). Way to go, Sandra & Johnny! I've been keeping track of your progress - you are doing great!! Matty is dancing alongside you!!
end of update
14 days, 12 hours, 41 minutes, and 4 seconds left until the starting cannon sounds! (As of 6:18 on Saturday the 19th!)
Can you believe it?? We are just 2 weeks out! It has just gone by so fast this time! For many of our runners, today was the last long distance we will do before the big day - next week those on the beginner plan will face their longest run yet - 10 miles. Today many people on the team ran the longest they have ever run before - that is such a great feeling - way to go everyone!
Thank you Darby for following us in your truck, making sure we were all taken care of!
Jacque - thank you so much for the great hospitality before and after the race - the yummy food was very welcomed after running for 2 1/2 hours! Thank you for putting out that wonderful spread!
And Lizziegirl, thank you for inspiring Daddy and I to keep moving, even when the sadness of your absense is so overwhelming we don't think we can take another step. I love talking to you when I am running, I can just hear your sweet little voice encouraging me, telling me that I can do it. I feel so close to you in those moments...I easily remember your bright smile, your quick giggles, your sparkling eyes. I miss you so much, baby, I can't even express how hard it is to wake up every morning and know you aren't here, that I won't hear your precious voice asking me what we are going to do today.
Stay close, baby...and keep teaching us all how to LiveStrong, Mile by Mile, LizzieStyle...
Saturday, April 12, 2008 6:30 PM CDT
Great run today, everyone!! It was so great to walk into the Y today and see all of those treadmills full of TEAM LIZZIE members! Just can't express to you what this all means to Joe and I. I know there are so many people struggling through various injuries right now. Please, please, take care of yourself. Rest, take a day, a week, whatever it takes, off. Your health is so important; please put that above any training.
As I was in the kitchen tonight getting supper ready, thinking of everyone out there preparing for the big run next month, a precious, priceless memory ran through my heart. In Lizzie's last few months, when she was paralyzed but wanting to go to school, we had gotten her a wheelchair, which, of course, required someone else to push. She was so dependent on Joe and I to do everything. Literally. And for such an independent spirit, so full of life, it was something she really struggled with. Never once complained. EVER. But you just knew. She longed to be able to walk out of the room of her own free will, to feed herself, to call a friend. All by herself, as she once had done, as a 14 year old has the right to.
We had come across a resourse that allowed us to get Lizzie an electronic wheelchair. She still had the ability to use her arms, if you placed them where she needed them to be. We found a chair that fit her perfectly and had a 'steering wheel' that was basically a knob that she could manipulate.
The day they brought that wheelchair to our house...I'll never forget the look in her eyes when she pushed the lever and moved forward. She had the look of freedom in her gorgeous chocolate drop eyes. The smile that spread across her face as she chased me across the room, giggling at her new-found independence again...it was precious, priceless, wonderful...she loved zipping around the house, surprising people at the door when she greeted them. It was absolutely wonderful knowing she had her freedom back.
Unfortunately, it was short-lived, and before too long, she lost complete control of her hands. But for a little while, she got to move of her own accord again, got to be in control for a short while. We got to see that beautiful smile light up the room. She enjoyed the journey, if only for a little while.
How lucky we all are to be able to walk, to run, to move of our own accord, to leave the room if we choose, to walk outside and see the sunset, to run a 1/2 marathon. Please don't sabbotage that ability. Take care of yourself. And enjoy the journey...
LiveStrong, LizzieStyle...Mile by Mile...
Saturday, April 5, 2008 8:39 PM CDT
Update: Thursday, April 10th
Due to the predicted AWFUL :( weather for Saturday, we will be running indoors, at the Kearney YMCA at 7:30 a.m. If you need a pass, please e-mail me and I will leave one for you at the front desk. Thanks!!
Congratulations to Jessica - she had cheerleader try-outs last Thursday and made it!!! Way to go, Jess! I know Lizziegirl is so proud of her little sister!
end of update
Congratulations to one of our team mates - Carla - she ran a 1/2 marathon yesterday. Way to go Carla! Looking forward to running with you next month in Lincoln!
Shelby & Samantha - would you please e-mail me your address? The girls really enjoy getting postcards from you and thought it would be fun to send you some from good ol' Nebraska. Thanks!
TEAM LIZZIE - Another great day! I continue to be inspired by each and every one of you. For those of you who struggled through your pain today, for those who ran an extra mile for various reasons...:) ...for those who are training for the full marathon and did 20 miles today...for those who had family obligations but still found time to get your run in...for those who just could not get your run in but are still very determined to do the half-marathon in Lincoln...you are all running and living LIZZIESTRONG! Joe and I cannot express what it means to us to see you all training, gathering, believing...thank you...
As everyone gathered this morning to start the 8 miles, I remembered a story about Elizabeth that I wanted to share...
When Lizziegirl was little we lived in a VERY small town in Nevada. For a little while we lived by the town's Catholic Elementary School; we would go for walks and take Lizzie there to play in the playground, telling her it was her school, she would go there someday soon.
One day, we were there playing and a small group of kids were also there playing. Before Joe and I knew what was happening, Elizabeth had walked up to those group of kids and was telling them that this was HER school. These kids were looking at her like, who in the world is this kid?? Facing all those older kids, instead of backing down, she planted her hands on her hips, looked them square in the face, and let them know that it was, indeed, her school, her playground.
Ready to run to her rescue should the kids let her know that they, really, were in charge here, we watched in awe as the kids backed down and let Elizabeth have her territory.
Although she was only 3 or 4, she already had a knack for being a leader, for taking on a challenge, for being a tough little nut. Little did we know that we would see that same strong spirit years later as she looked cancer in the eye and said, "This is MY body. I might have cancer, but cancer does NOT have me!" Although cancer was big and the numbers were against her, she never once buckled, never showed fear, never once gave up.
Lizziegirl, everyone running in your honor is trying to show the same fighting spirit. Even when then numbers seem against us, the miles too long, the pain too severe, we never buckle, never show fear, never give up. It's all for you, baby girl. I know it's nothing compared to what you battled, what you suffered, but...I hope you're proud of us...miss you terribly...love you more than ever...mama
Thursday, April 3, 2008 12:06 AM CDT
TEAM LIZZIE: Here is some info on the pre-run pasta feed. Thanks, Jacque, for getting this info for us!
NIGHT BEFORE PASTATHON - Don't Run on Empty! Carbo-load for FREE before the Marathon. Runners, their families and event volunteers are invited to enjoy a free pasta dinner. The 12th Annual Pastathon will be held from 4 to 7 p.m. at the Champions Club, 701 Stadium Drive (across street to the west from Memorial Stadium). No packet pickup is available at the pastathon, but will be available at the Embassy Suites (10th & P Streets) from 9 am to 7 pm.
Ok, TEAM LIZZIE - we are running outside again this Saturday. We will start at the bridge at Cottonmill Park at 7:30 a.m. This is the only run where both plans are to run 8 miles, so we will do an out-and-back course. From the bridge, following the trail out to Yanney Park is 4 miles, turn around there and head back. We will have a water break by the University and near Beckie's house (look for the signs). Hope to see you all there!!
Something to keep in mind as we face the last few weeks of our training...
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." ~Mary Anne Radmacher
Thanks for the quote, Leesa!
Saturday, March 29, 2008 6:35 PM CDT
Great job today, everyone! It was a tough one; I think we hit every single hill in Kearney, AND the wind was against us at every corner! Laura, you are no longer allowed to plan the course!! ;0
Great job, Melissa and Amy! So glad to hear it was a good run for you!
We are one month away from our race! So hard to believe! The training has gone by so fast this time - I think a large part of that is due to having such a wonderful group to run with. It has been great seeing so many people gather together, running, laughing, talking, encouraging. This is just an incredible experience, one I know Lizzie would be right in the middle of, loving every single second of it.
Tuesday is Aril 1st - a day known to many as April Fool's Day - a day of pranks and jokes. But to us, it will always be know as the day Elizabeth was diagnosed with cancer. That entire day we kept thinking please let this be an awful joke. Please, please don't let this be real. But no one ever jumped up and yelled "April Fool's Day!!" Reality quickly set in and we faced a huge, horrible battle, one that eventually took Lizzie away from us.
However, true to Lizzie's style, instead of looking at that day as a sad, unfortunate day, Lizzie adopted Lance Armstrong's motto, Carpe Diem, or seize the day. Each year that she was a survivor, on April 1st, she turned the day into a big "I'm a survivor" celebration. Everyone donned yellow clothes, people sent her yellow roses and balloons...everything was LiveStrong yellow. She had this yellow boa that she wore on that day, and yellow flip-flops, yellow earrings, even yellow nail polish. One year, her last year to celebrate it, we had a party, and our neighbors, Joy and Leesa, made monster cookies with M & M's (the best cookies in the world!). And just for Lizziegirl, they only used yellow m & m's! They had to buy several bags to have enough, but they did it - and the smile it brought to Lizzie's face was priceless!!
A few years before, she had worn that yellow boa to church, and after Mass Father Matt took it off Lizzie and put it around his neck. That of course brought out her sweet little giggle. That may have been the start of their very dear friendship.
So many precious memories that sweet girl gave us. I was thinking today that it seems like around every corner, every moment, I run into a memory, a shared moment with our girl. Today, running past Horizon Middle School, I remembered the year Relay for Life was held there, in 2003. I remembered walking the circle of luminarias with Lizzie. That was the night she stayed up all night dancing with Mrs. Maloley and Ms. Hargens. That was also the year that Joe spent the night with Karyn Dahlke - something he loves to remind me about!! I was 45 months pregnant with Kaylie and went home around midnight; our friend Karyn, also a survivor, decided to keep Joe company. They both claim it was all very innocent. Ha!! :) Well, Karyn claims it was innocent, Joe loves to refer to it as the night he spent with another woman!
That morning Shari got the day started with aerobics at 6 a.m. - Lizzie was right in the middle of it all, sleepy smile in place. Remember that, Shari?
We also ran by Sunrise Middle School today, which Elizabeth attended for 3 years; she fell in love with the teachers and principal's there and developed some great friendships as well.
For someone so young, she really lived a pretty full life. Not nearly as full as Joe and I would have liked of course, but still, she really did live strong with the years she was given.
In honor of our Sweet Elizabeth, Tuesday we will wear yellow, we will take yellow roses to Lizzie's Park, and we will remember a very special angel who continues to inspire many, many people to live strong with the years we are given.
LiveStrong, everyone! Mile by mile...LizzieStyle...
Thursday, March 27, 2008 8:16 AM CDT
Today is the 6th Annual Y102 Country Cares for Kids St. Jude fundraiser. If you are in the Kearney area, tune in to Y102 to hear heart-wrenching stories about children battling cancer, families praying for another day, and a community that comes together to help them fight for their lives.
Six years ago my alarm went off around 6:30; as I blindy batted at the snooze button, I heard a gentle, sad voice talking about his son who had battled cancer and was now an angel. This man spoke of hope, of fear, of grace; he spoke of a place called St. Judes Research Hospital. Now wide awake, I felt so sad for this family, for John, the voice of the sad, gentle man on the radio, and so very grateful that my children were healthy. After all, those kinds of things didn't happen to us, they happened to other people, right? I went about the rest of my day carrying John's voice in my heart, giving my girls extra hugs, handing them a bit more patience than usual, and, so grateful that we were all healthy, eventually got back into my routine.
Less than a week later we were being admitted to Children's Hospital in Omaha. We watched in horror as a nurse slipped a band on Elizabeth's little wrist, and then on Joe's and mine.
We were THAT family now.
It is a hard 2 days, listening to the stories of struggle and pain, fear and frustration, remembering our own struggles, hearing about victories that we will never experience. I tell myself I won't listen this year. I'll just pretend it's not happening and just won't turn the radio on today. And then it will be over for another year.
But the thing is, it will never be over if we don't listen, if we don't help. We are always in danger of being THAT family. We have to remember, to listen, to fight.
Scott from Y102, John, Gail, all the volunteers, the donators, and St. Jude, God bless you all. Thank you for your dedication, your committment, your grace.
Lizziegirl, we will always remember...
Thursday, March 20, 2008 12:11 AM CDT
TEAM LIZZIE: for those in the Kearney area, we will be running upstairs at the YMCA again this Saturday morning (8 a.m.)for our long run. Please e-mail me if you need a pass.
Today was a hard run for many people. I was talking to my sister-in-law, Melissa, yesterday. Last Saturday she had had a great 6 miler - she was pumped up and ready to take on the challenge, and it went well. So on Tuesday, when she faced 4 miles, she figured it would be no problem. However, it turned out to be a very hard run for her. It happens to so many people; after a challenging run you think, anything after this should be easy...well, it doesn't seem to go that way. I think you get geared up for the "hard runs" and so mentally you've already figured out you will be tired, that you'll have to push through the pain. Then, when faced with an 'easier' distance or pace, your surprised to discover that, yep, a mile is still a mile, and it's hard.
The truth is, no matter how long you've been training, how in shape you are, when you lace up those shoes and set out for a run, you really never know how it's going to go. So many things can determine your run...has it been a long week? Did you eat enough/too much the day before? Are you hydrated enough? And the biggest one, in my opinion, how are you emotionally? If you are struggling mentally with something it can drain your energy so fast.
So on those days when you've finished your run and can look back and say, hey that was a great run, be grateful, take a mental note of what your previous day was like, and know that the next run might not be as great, but will be an accomplishment all the same. A bad run is just as important in your training as a good one, because it shows you that you can push through the pain, you can finish.
I feel like this is so symbolic of life. No matter how well planned out our day might be, we all have those days where we are baffled by the struggles, when no matter what you do, you just can't get in that groove, when all you want to do is climb back into bed and sleep the day away. These days are good for us, because, like a bad run, they show you that you will get through it, that the sun will set and then rise again, giving you the chance at another day.
I think of all those days in 2006, when Lizzie had her halo put on, and then broke her arm, and then was told there would not be a cure for her. She could have so easily given up, stayed in bed, and just shut down. But she did the exact opposite; she looked life right in the eye and said "bring it". She chose to go to school, knowing full well she would never graduate. She did her homework, turned in every assignment on time, knowing the grade would not secure her a place in the 10th grade. She was told she was going die, and decided live big in the time she had left.
I'll never forget the day we left Omaha for the last time. She had just had her 2nd halo put on. The doctors had already told Joe and I there was nothing else that could be done. As the nurses typed up the discharge papers, Lizzie asked us when we were coming back and what the plan was, what treatment would they use?
Here was a young lady who had been diagnosed when she was 9 years old. She had gone through so much in 4 1/2 years, so many treatments that made her so sick, and yet here she was, ready for the next plan.
And then, when she realized what the future held for her, she decided that if she couldn't live, she would reach out to others in the time she had left and teach them to embrace their own lives.
And then, on the early Sunday morning in October, as she was walking that bridge from this life to the next, she was already reaching out to other people. We heard her soothing another soul, assuring them that it would be alright.
So now, as Joe and I watch everyone gather in her honor and train through their pain and struggle through their runs, and calling on Lizzie to help get them through, we know she continues to reach out to us, teaching us how to push through those hard days, and treasure the good ones. She's helping us embrace our lives, and teaching us to prepare for the day, whatever it might bring. Easy or hard, we can do this, mile by mile, LizzieStyle. Bring it.
Saturday, March 15, 2008 1:19 PM CDT
Way to go TEAM LIZZIE!! Another amazing morning! No eagle this time, but walking into the YMCA today and seeing all those treadmills full of TEAM LIZZIE runners - it was completely breathtaking! So many people showed up this morning, running with Lizzie in mind, mile by mile. And one by one, as everyone completed their run, you could hear the cheers from their team mates, calling out to each other and high-fiving.
And then there was Father Matt and Joe, who seemed to have a competition going on to see who would fall off the treadmill first...I think Joe won that one, even though he claims he was doing it on purpose...(: Seriously, great job, Matt. So good to have you there this morning!
An amazing morning...one that Lizziegirl would have loved, been right in the middle of it all, cheering and encouraging, laughing and running with everyone, with that beautiful smile lighting up those chocolate-drop eyes. Thank you all so much for being a part of this.
Just 6 more weeks until the Half-Marathon everyone! You are all doing great!
Have a great weekend!
Thursday, March 13, 2008 10:44 AM CDT
Ok, TEAM LIZZIE! Big weekend! For those on the 12 week plan, you'll be running 6 miles! And for those on the 10 week plan - you have a 10 miler on Saturday!
For those in the Kearney area, this Saturday, the 15th, we will be meeting upstairs in the Cybex at the YMCA for the run. I know there are several people who do not like to run on treadmills (Father Matt ;) but it is supposed to be cold and rainy Saturday morning, so we will be taking this one inside. We have one group meeting at 7 a.m. and another at 8 a.m. If you are not a member of the Y, please e-mail me and I will have a pass waiting for you at the front desk (Matt! :).
Since we will be running indoors, please bring your own gatorade and water, and you also might want to bring a snack - a goo, Cliff Shot Blocks, Power Bar, etc.
Can't wait to see everyone! We'll be thinking of all of our out-of-town runners! Let us know how it goes! Good luck! Mile by mile....LizzieStyle!
Thank you Shari and Jacque for the gatorade! I think we are set now for drinks and cups. Thanks so much!
Don't forget to get your shirts to Beckie!
Saturday, March 1, 2008 12:15 AM CST
TEAM LIZZIE UPDATE: Thursday, March 6th
For the long run this Saturday: it looks like everyone is going to do their own thing. Several people will be out of town, it is supposed to be cold, and Jacque, Laura, Shari and I will be working at the Fitness & Health F.I.T. Camp for Women that day at the Kearney YMCA (come join us ladies - it will be a fun morning of sampling different workouts - this is a great chance to try something different and learn some new tips!).
Hopefully the weather will begin warming up and we'll get another chance to run outside together again soon!
Also, Beckie is sending out e-mails about shirt orders - if you don't get that from her, please let me know (I might not have everyone's e-mail address). Thanks, Beckie, for being in charge of that!
Thank you, Katie, for the gatorade donation!
Good luck with your run, everyone! Mile by mile, LizzieStyle!!
end of update.
What an amazing morning!! As I sit and type this I feel so emotional, so overwhelmed with love for all our friends and family who are running with us, and love for our sweet girl who made it out to the run this morning.
The day began just right with a call from Laura saying that she and her husband, Trevor, had spotted an eagle soaring above their house and heading in our direction. Then, upon arriving at Cottonmill, we saw so many cars parked and people warming up and chatting. I said to Joe, "They can't all possibly be TEAM LIZZIE runners, could they?" As we parked, we realized that, yes, they were indeed. We had 26 people there this morning, running with Lizzie in mind! I just couldn't believe how fast our little group had grown, and to see them all out there, on a cold March morning, it just took my breath away.
We all started out together, and by the end Joe and I were the caboose, along with Darby, who rode his bike along beside us all, taking our coats and gloves from us as we warmed up. We had just finished a gigantic hill (okay, a small incline) and were huffing and puffing. At just about the same time, we look up, and there is this beautiful bald eagle, soaring just above us. What felt like slow motion, she swooped in and landed on a tree right there in front of us. It felt amazing and surprising and yet not surprising at all.
Molly had gone up ahead of us, and I really wanted her to see the eagle, and for a split second I thought, I can't yell out to her, I don't want to scare away the eagle. In the next second I heard a sweet little voice say "it's ok, I'm not going anywhere." Joe and I started yelling at her, and sure enough, the eagle stayed right where she was. When Molly realized what we were seeing, she let out a yell, too, and immediately thought, "Oh, I shouldn't have yelled, I will scare her away." But, no, she really was sticking around. We stood there looking up at that beautiful bird for the longest time. She never left. It felt like she was saying, "I'm not about to leave before you do."
We did not want to walk away. Ever. It was so hard to leave that spot. But somehow, it felt ok, too, like she'll be back again. Like maybe she never left at all.
"If you could be any animal, what would you be?" asked the teacher.
"A soaring eagle," Elizabeth replied.
Thank you, TEAM LIZZIE, for showing up today, for running with us, and for living life with Lizzie in mind.
Thanks, Darby, for being our 'domestique' today!
Thank you, Molly and Eric, Rea, Laura and Trevor for the gatorade and water.
Thank you, Lizziegirl, for soaring with us, and for not leaving. Love you, baby girl.
To all of you who couldn't be there today, I hope your run went well. Let us know how you did!
LiveStrong, everyone! And keep looking for those eagles!
Thursday, February 28, 2008 10:53 AM CST
TEAM LIZZIE will meet at Cottonmill at the bridge at 8:00 Saturday morning for our long run (5 miles for the 12 week plan and 6 for the 10 week plan). For those in the Kearney area, we would love to see you out there! Bring something warm to put on afterwards. We will have one water/gatorade stop around the 2.5 mile area. It is an out and back course, so hopefully we will all get to see each other throughout the run, even though all of our times will be different.
For those out of town/state, we will be thinking of you and look forward to hearing how it goes. Good luck!
Thanks, Rea, for the gatorade and water donation!
Remember, tomorrow is a rest day! Several people are suffering from shin splints and sore knees. Remember to take it slow, ease into your run, and stop and walk when you need to. This is an adjustment for your body, but it will adjust, it just takes time, and it is so important to listen to your body. You can do this! Mile by mile, minute by minute...
Sunday, February 24, 2008 1:55 PM CST
Update: Monday: I've talked to a few people who are dealing with some common symptoms of people who are just starting out running. The most common problem is tired, sore knees.
This time last year, when I started training, my knees ached so badly. We live in a 4 story house, so stairs are a part of my daily life. Walking up those stairs my knees would wail at me, begging me to stop running. I did the recommended ice (bags of frozen peas, actually) on my knees, tylenol, and rest when I could. Over time, my knees adjusted to the wear and tear and I was able to retire the pea bags and tylenol (I still rest!!!).
When Joe began training last fall, he encountered the same problems. He comes from a family of problem knees: his dad had both knees replaced in 2002, and both of his brothers have had knee surgeries. So he decided to give it a month, and if it continued, he would stop running.
After a few weeks, his knees stopped hurting and he was able to run without all but the occassional knee pain.
Right now, as you are beginning training, your body is adjusting. Be patient, and don't give up. You are so close...
Just one thing to think about next time you run...
IMAGINE THIS...
You're halfway through a run, but the ramaining distance seems too difficult. Forget the total you still need to cover and try breaking up the segments you know you can handle. For example, maybe it's 2 minutes. Run for that amount of time, saying, "I know I can go two more minutes," then walk for 30 to 60 seconds. You can also try running from one landmark to the next, taking short walk breaks between. Some runners prefer counting steps, telling themselves "50 more steps" until the next walk break. On a really tough day, thinking 'One more step' can keep you moving forward." ~from Runner's World Magazine
Just remember, Mile by Mile, minute by minute...you can do this!!
end of update.
Way to go TEAM LIZZIE! For those of you on the 12 week training plan, you have finished your first 2 weeks of training!!! You are well on your way - give yourself a HUGE pat on the back!
For the rest of TEAM LIZZIE, training begins this week! We will be watching the weather to see if we will do our long run outside or not...I will post here as it gets closer to Saturday.
Joe and I have been out of town, and when I got home and opened my e-mail account, I was so happy to see more inquiries about TEAM LIZZIE. Our little running group just keeps growing. I just know Lizziegirl is so happy, knowing how many people are coming together, running strong, living stronger.
It continues to amaze me just how small the world is, and yet, how many times, because of Lizzie, that circle widens and grows. On Monday, we were in Omaha with our friends, Jim and Bridget, to see Bon Jovi(!!!!!!!). We were having some drinks before the concert at the hotel we were staying at; I see Joe and Bridget talking and pointing at a woman sitting at the table next to us. Joe leans over and says, "Sami, that's Billie!"
Several years ago, we were at a restaurant in Kearney; Lizzie was in the middle of treatment and was beautifully bald. We had just started giving away the yellow LiveStrong bands. So we were at this restaurant, and the waitress comes over and starts talking to Lizzie. Over the course of the meal a friendship was born between those two, and before the night was over Lizzie had taken off her own band and had given it to the waitress. This waitress went on to become a teacher and continued to follow Lizzie's story, posting on the website occasionally.
Now, years later, we sat facing this woman at a restaurant in a town 3 hours away from that first encounter. As it turns out, Bridget knows her, they are related in a way I couldn't quite follow - even though Joe has told me several times...one of those, she's the cousin of Bridget's brother-in-law, or the sister-in-law of her cousin, or her cousin's sister's brother-in-law...you get the idea. Anyway, Bridget confirms that it is indeed that sweet waitress who took the time to listen to Lizzie's story years ago, and became her friend, and put on her band, and chose to LiveStrong, LizzieStyle. Billie. Joe and I approached her and asked her if she remembered us...she looked confused; at the same time Joe and I both held out our wrists and showed our yellow bands. In that instant tears came to her eyes and she threw her arms around us. Just like that, one symbol, one yellow circle connected the dots, with Lizziegirl the center of it all, the reason for it all.
Lizzie, you hoped that, through your battle, others would learn to embrace life...sweet girl, we witness that time and time again. So many people are "living life with Lizzie in Mind". I so hope you are watching us from above and see it all, and know that we all love and miss you so much, and know what kind of an impact you continue to make.
This week, as all of TEAM LIZZIE continues or begins training, we will remember that sweet girl who always wore a smile, who woke up every day and eagerly tackled life...mile by mile, minute by minute...
LiveStrong, everyone! Have a great week!
Sunday, February 10, 2008 12:29 AM CST
Update: Saturday, Feb. 16th
Yay TEAM LIZZIE!! You have completed your first week of training!!(For those on the 12 week plan only) Way to go! That was the hardest week - you will only get stronger from here on out!! Great job!
Joe and I will be out of town next week, so we won't be here for your next long run, but we'll be ready to start our training when we get back. Have a great week, and keep going, mile by mile, LizzieStyle!!
end of update.
Update: Monday, Feb. 11th
Hotels are just about full in Lincoln for that first weekend in May. There are 9 rooms left at the Holiday Inn downtown as of last night. They are offering them at a special marathon rate of $109 plus tax. If you are interested, call the hotel at 402-475-4011. Again, these seem to be about the last of available rooms left, due to the marathon and UNL graduation.
Thanks, Traci, for the info!
End of update.
Go TEAM LIZZIE! We had our kick-off party last night - we had a fantastic turn-out; 26 people gathered in honor of our Sweet Elizabeth, ready to take on the challenge of a half-marathon.
Thank you, Molly & Eric, for opening up your house to us and hosting a wonderful evening!
Including those 26, our out-of-town members, and members that couldn't make it last night, TEAM LIZZIE now has 39 members! Joe and I are so happy to see our group growing so quickly.
It's hard to put in to words what this all means to us...we will never get to plan for Lizzie's graduation, or her wedding, or even her sweet 16 birthday...TEAM LIZZIE gives us the chance to celebrate our daughter's life, her accomplishments, and the lessons she continues to teach us with our friends and family. Joe and I want to thank everyone who has decided to join TEAM LIZZIE, and everyone who continues to check this website and keep "living life with Lizzie in mind".
Some of the TEAM LIZZIE members begin training this week, with Tuesday being their first run day, and Saturday their first long run. I'm sure they would appreciate hearing from our encouraging caringbridge family.
Everybody else will begin training February 25th, with their first run on the 26th, and the first long run on March 1st. That will be our first run as a team, and as it gets closer I will post time and place info.
Good luck everyone! You can do this! Just remember, "Mile by Mile, LizzieStyle" or, as my sister-in-law, Melissa, has decided, "Minute by minute, LizzieStyle". Either way, give yourself a pat on the back for doing this!
Just a few quick notes: We've received our first donation of gatorade. Thank you, Laura and Trevor! Remember, you can drop off any drinks and snacks you wish to bring to the runs at our house (address is on the main page).
Have a great week! LiveStrong, everyone!
Monday, February 4, 2008 12:07 AM CST
TEAM LIZZIE: Training begins next Tuesday (Feb 12th)! Our kick-off party is this Saturday; if you haven't yet, please call me and let me know if you are coming (so we will have enough pasta!).
For our out-of-town members, I have mailed your training packages - be looking for them in the mail!
TEAM LIZZIE has grown so much! I am so, so happy to say that we are up to around 15 - 21 members now (we have a few people who are still thinking about it)!
I want to give a HUGE welcome to our new "Domestique" - Bridget Mahalek! Last year when we trained for Lincoln, Joe rode his rollerblades and skated along beside us, taking our clothes for us as layers came off, opening gel packs, offering chapstick, and giving encouragement along the route. After watching us run, he caught the fever and decided to trade in his blades for running shoes - and we are so happy he did. But we did miss having a "support staff" as we trained for Denver. So, our dear friend Bridget has offered to take his place, on a bike instead of blades. Thank you Bridget! We are very excited to have you join our Saturday morning runs!
I can only imagine how happy Lizziegirl is right now, watching us prepare for another run in her memory, doing our best to LiveStrong, LizzieStyle.
By the way...there is still time - send me an e-mail if you'd like to join us!
Our neighbors own a cabin out at Johnson Lake, and they invited us and our other neighbors out for the weekend to do some eagle watching. It was a nice, relaxing retreat spent with good friends, and we got to see many eagles. On Sunday morning we were having coffee and easing into the day. All of a sudden there was this beautiful eagle, heading, it seemed, right to us. It soared right in front of the deck, so graceful and majestic. It was a nice reminder of how light and carefree Lizziegirl must feel now.
Have a great week everyone, and remember to make the most of every moment you are given!
Sunday, January 27, 2008 1:29 PM CST
FIFTEEN...15...that number keeps swirling around my heart today...it has been 15 months since we last saw our Lizziegirl. She would have been 15 years old...who goes 15 months without seeing their child?? It is just wrong. It is time for her to come home.
I wonder what she would be like had she been allowed to be a normal, healthy 15 year old girl...she would have her driver's permit, and I know she would be excitedly counting down the days to her sweet 16th birthday, when she would get her driver's licence. Knowing Lizzie, she would have been saving money all along, and I bet she'd be talking to her daddy about what kind of car she would buy.
She'd also be talking to me about potential party plans for the big 1-6. That girl always loved to plan parties...I think she got more enjoyment out of planning than the actual party, although she always enjoyed that part too.
15 months...When Lizzie (Elizabeth then) was 15 months old, she loved to suck her fingers...not her thumb, but her right tall man and ring finger. Her hands were always wet and soft because she always had those fingers in her mouth. Except, of course, when she was talking...which she loved to do. So many people would look at her in amazement and say, "How old is she?" She was always a little chatter bug, and never ever met a stranger. Going to the grocery store with her was a social committment; anyone who would stop and talk to her got the full story of her life at that moment. And people loved to listen to her...she was captivating even then.
So now she's been an angel for 15 months. In church today during the eucharistic prayer, our priest said the words that are said at every mass, but today they captured my attention in a new way..."and now we join the angels and saints, as they sing their unending hymm of praise." I thought, wow, that is just perfect for Lizzie. She always loved to sing. I bet she is lead vocalist...(;
Soooo, tucking away my own pain and sadness, I reminded myself that she no longer feels either of those emotions any longer. Now she can just sing...and talk!
Sing away, Lizziegirl! We are listening...happy 15 baby girl...
Monday, January 14, 2008 4:31 PM CST
In honor of our Sweet Elizabeth, we will begin to use this website as our TEAM LIZZIE website. We tossed around the idea of creating a new one entirely, but we all love our caringbridge family and hope that you will continue to follow our journey as we try to LiveStrong LizzieStyle. We are very excited to announce that TEAM LIZZIE is growing by leaps and bounds (no pun intended)! We are up to about 21 members. Next month will begin the new training season in preparation of the Lincoln Marathon and Half-Marathon, which is May 4th.
Through this website I will continue to talk about Lizziegirl's journey and how that has influenced so many people to engage differently in their lives, to look through the rain for that rainbow, to find joy in everything, and to perservere, no matter how great the struggle may seem.
TEAM LIZZIE is a group of people from different states, different families, and different abilities who wish to carry on Lizzie's energy, her love for life and her desire to reach out to people and help them look inside themselves and dig deeper for their goal. We train for half and full marathons together as a team. During our training, when we encounter struggles such as pain and fatigue, we use it as a symbol of what Lizzie went through for so many years. And when we reach milestones we celebrate the victories together, just as Lizzie celebrated many victories in her short life.
We do not raise money for any charity, we only wish to raise awareness; awareness of the ability to choose happiness, awareness of the gifts in our lives and awareness of how lucky we all are to be here, in this moment.
Throughout the next few weeks I will begin posting information and pictures of TEAM LIZZIE. We hope you continue to check in on us and "Live life with Lizzie in Mind!"
Thursday, January 3, 2008 6:45 PM CST
I'VE GOTTA LET MY ANGEL FLY
You proved to me that there's a Heaven
Lord, when You sent her down to me
She was nothing short of a miracle
I swore that baby girl had wings
So I don't understand why You'd wanna take her back
No matter how hard I try
I'm holing on so tight, with all of my might.
But I'VE GOTTA LET MY ANGEL FLY
I've been living in a fantasy
Thinking someday, somebody would call
Saying there's been a mistake, we're happy to say
Your little girl's not sick at all
And I still don't wanna believe
This awful truth I can't deny
But Lord I don't have a choice; I can hear Your voice
Saying I'VE GOTTA LET MY ANGEL FLY
CHORUS:
And I know you give, Lord, and You take away
But I'd give everything I have if you'd let me take her place
Lord, You know just what I'm going through
You're so much more than qualified
You watched Your only Son as He suffered for us
The day that He was crucified
And I don't mean to grieve like an unbeliever
But my meager faith is running dry
So won't You pour out Your Grace like a tidal wave?
'Cause I'VE GOTTA LET MY ANGEL FLY
From one father to another
Would you promise me You'll hold her tight?
Tell her everything's gonna be all right
'Cause You've prepared a place for us in Heaven
And this really ain't our last goodbye
Hold this poor broken man in the palm of Your hand
'Cause I'VE GOTTA LET MY ANGEL FLY
Give me the hope of a thousand rainbows
oh, FLY LITTLE ANGEL, FLY
written for our Sweet Elizabeth by our dear friend, Jimmy Weber
Friday, December 28, 2007 9:13 PM CST
I have a little 'Christmas Miracle' story to share with you all...but first...Jessie's appointment went well...Dr. Mahalek feels there is no infection in her foot, and he wants to just keep an eye on her toe for a while.
This beautiful picture on Lizzie's front page...a few days ago there was a message from a Cameron Moore who had read about Lizziegirl and was touched and wanted to do something nice for us...he drew this fantastic picture of Elizabeth...we started e-mailing each other...it turns out he and his wife were in Nashville a couple of years ago and went to the Wild Horse Saloon where a Ms. Jolie Edwards was performing...for Christmas this year his wife wanted to download some of her songs on her MP3 player, so he went to Jolie's website and tried to download some songs...and somewhere along the line found Lizzie's link...he clicked on it, and began reading about our amazing angel...after reading her story he felt compelled to do something...and now we have this wonderful gift of this beautiful picture of Elizabeth...
Cameron...what an amazing gift you have, and have given us...thank you so much...
And thank you, Jolie, for connecting the dots for us...
Happy New Year, Everyone...May you LiveStrong, LizzieStyle!!
Monday, December 24, 2007 8:37 AM CST
Merry Christmas! We hope you all have a magical day today and tomorrow.
Jess is about the same. We have an appointment this Thursday.
This song was one of Lizzie's favorites, sung by Amy Grant. I think she felt the same in a lot of ways...frightened of the journey she traveled, unsure if she was strong or wise enough, yet she 'offered all that she was'.
We love you Lizziegirl...Merry Christmas, baby.
Breath Of Heaven
I have traveled many moonless nights,
Cold and weary with a babe inside,
And I wonder what I've done.
Holy father you have come,
And chosen me now to carry your son.
I am waiting in a silent prayer.
I am frightened by the load I bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now.
Be with me now.
Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.
Do you wonder as you watch my face,
If a wiser one should have had my place,
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be.
Help me.
Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007 11:11 AM CST
Well, I haven't been very good about posting Lizzie's favorite quotes. It's been a little tough around here - we are still dealing with Jessica's foot, believe it or not. She has been back to the doctor several times, they thought the infection was back, it continued to bother her, and long story short, we started seeing a specialist who discovered that her foot is broken. She is in a boot and crutches with orders to stay off of it and keep it elevated. There is something else going on in her toe; they just don't know what. Soooo....there is a possibility that she will have a biopsy done.
To add to that, we are all missing Lizziegirl something awful. It just isn't right, this life without her.
With all of this going on, it's been hard to get to the website and see her sweet little face smiling back at me. But, I will keep trying, LizzieStyle.
Here is one we really need to keep in mind right now...
"No longer forward nor behind I look in hope or fear; but grateful, take the good I find, the best of now and here." -John Greenleaf Whittier
Friday, December 14, 2007 9:32 AM CST
Today is my sister's birthday. Vickie is an angel also, and she is celebrating her day in heaven. Jessica, Abby, Kaylie and I were talking this morning about what kind of party she and Lizzie were going to have today. We imagine them skipping around a beautiful park, rolling down the hills together, laughing and twirling. There will definitely be music since they both love to dance.
Abby said she thinks the animals will join the party. She said she thinks the animals and people walk and play together in heaven. I asked why she thought that, and she replied, "Because in heaven, everyone is nice." I think she is absolutely right.
Vickie battled kidney problems for many years and only lived to be 32. Lizzie got to meet her one time, when she was just 12 months old. But as Lizzie got older, she seemed to have a connection with Vickie. She was very curious about her, always asking questions about her and wanting to see pictures. This was even before Lizzie battled her own health problems.
Vickie and Lizzie shared the same zest for life, always lived life out loud. They remind me so much of each other in so many ways, and I can't help but believe that Vickie was there to welcome Lizzie to her new home, and they have become very good friends this past year.
Have fun playing today, girls! I love you both and miss you terribly. Happy birthday, Vickie! I will keep a candle lit for you today.
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith." -2 Timothy 4:7
Tuesday, December 11, 2007 5:59 PM CST
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." -Matthew 6:34
Sunday, December 9, 2007 8:52 PM CST
"Failure to prepare prepares you for failure." - Mr. Girard (Lizzie's 6th grade science/math teacher
I thought this quote went nicely with Father Matt's sermon today..."Prepare thee the way of the Lord..." Lizzie was always prepared...for school, for life, for heaven...Lizziegirl, help us all to prepare, for whatever lies ahead...
Saturday, December 8, 2007 6:07 PM CST
"People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said - but they will remember how you made them feel." -author unknown
Sunday, December 2, 2007 7:20 PM CST
In honor of our Sweet Elizabeth, who loves every minute of Christmas, I will try and post one of her favorite sayings each day of December.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
"While there is life, there is hope." -Cicero
Our hearts and prayers go out to the victims and their families of the senseless shootings in Omaho today.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Jessica is doing much better! She was cleared to go back to school. Thank you for all the sweet messages!
"The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer." -author unknown
"The only easy day was yesterday." -Clint Black
Friday, November 30, 2007 5:06 PM CST
We are home! They are going to see how Jessica does on oral antibiotics; we'll see our doctor Monday morning and go from there.
It is so good to be home. It is just amazing how the scents and sounds of hospitals are universal, and how they all just bring it all back. Keep your fingers crossed that Jess gets better this weekend and does not have to go back on Monday.
Lizziegirl, stay close to your sister. She needs you. Love you Sweet girl.
Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:24 AM CST
We are still in the hospital. Jessica is doing better but still dealing with the infection, so she will stay on the IV antibiotics for a couple more days.
Thank you for all your sweet messages. It is nice to know our CB family is still out there.
A HUGE thanks to all of our wonderful friends who have taken care of the girls, picked up kids from school, brought Jessie's homework to her, and on and on. You guys are incredible!
Jess is up for short visits; just give us a call to make sure she isn't in physical therapy or resting. She is in room 3331.
Monday, November 26, 2007 9:26 PM CST
When it rains, it pours...
Jessica was admitted to the hospital this morning. She has a cracked toe (long story) and it has gotten an infection that is resistant to oral antibiotics. She has been put on IV antibiotics and has had a bone scan to see if the infection has spread to her bones. We are waiting on results. She is in a good deal of pain. Prayers and thoughts for Jess are much appreciated.
Thank you to all my wonderful friends who keep coming to the Stratton's side to lend a helping hand.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007 8:37 AM CST
Last Saturday our dear friend, Jolie Edwards, honored our Lizziegirl at an Angels Among Us event in Omaha. Jolie sang Sweet Elizabeth as pictures of Lizzie played on a screen. It sounds as though Jolie did a wonderful job honoring our girl. Thank you, Jolie and Jimmy. Joe and I are both so sorry that we had to miss it.
We are facing our second Thanksgiving without Lizzie, and somehow it feels even harder. Time has not healed, it has only been an obstacle to face without our daughter, sister, friend.
I recently had a conversation with a woman who lost her husband around the same time we lost Lizzie. She mirrored my thoughts when she said that the pain doesn't lesson, you merely get somewhat used to living with a high level of pain.
Last night Kaylie had an ear ache that seemed to get really painful very quickly, so I decided I better take her to the ER. She thought we were going to see our doctor and so she was ok with it. As we pulled up to the hospital she began crying, and asked me if she had to go to heaven like Lizzie. She equated the hospital with death. I quickly turned the van around and came home. I wasn't about to put her through that. She calmed down and is better this morning.
Abby is having dreams that Jessica is going to die, and Jessica continues to be home sick with a virus that just won't go away.
To say I feel like we are all falling apart is an understatement. And I feel like such a failure as a mom because I have no idea how to hold us all together. This is one 'owie' I cannot kiss and make better.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007 8:49 AM CST
At the rising of the sun and at it's going down,
We remember them...
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
At the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring,
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer,
At the rustling of leaves and the beauty of autumn,
We remember them...
At the beginning of the year and when it ends,
Wen we are weary and in need of strength,
When we are lost and sick at heart,
When we have joys we yearn to share,
We remember them...
When we have decisions that are difficult to make,
When we have achievements that are based on theirs,
As long as we live, they too shall live,
For they are a part of us, as we remember them.
-author unknown
Friday, November 2, 2007 10:35 AM CDT
I woke up this morning with such a heavy heart...the anniversary date of Lizzie's funeral...my mind going to places too unbearable...and a little voice told me to grab my camera and go outside...take a picture of the sunrise...and this beautiful picture came through...with that same pink heart surrounding it...I was breathless as I felt Lizzie telling me that she was rid of that cancerous body, that she is happily playing in heaven...
I miss you so much, Lizziegirl...thank you for sending me outdoors to witness the love and light of heaven...love you baby girl...
Friday, November 2, 2007 10:35 AM CDT
I woke up this morning with such a heavy heart...the anniversary date of Lizzie's funeral...my mind going to places too unbearable...and a little voice told me to grab my camera and go outside...take a picture of the sunrise...and this beautiful picture came through...with that same pink heart surrounding it...I was breathless as I felt Lizzie telling me that she was rid of that cancerous body, that she is happily playing in heaven...
I miss you so much, Lizziegirl...thank you for sending me outdoors to witness the love and light of heaven...love you baby girl...
Thursday, October 25, 2007 3:27 PM CDT
BORROWED ANGEL
Sent down to Earth May 12, 1992
Brought joy throughout the world
She brought shining smiles
Made our lives worth while
Roses planted at her feet
Butterflies in her eyes
The wind in her hair
Showing love to all in the air
Battle takes place
For 4 years straight
Stop her it does not
Smiles keep coming through thick and thin
To describe the wonderful plot
God calls upon this precious girl
To announce her job is done
The angels rejoice as the borrowed angel makes her way home
Ten days later she climbs upon the eagles back
Soars all through the sky
Comes to rest on the place where she once changed lives
She knows they will be changed forever
Because of the Precious Borrowed Angel
written by Morgan Peters
in Memory of
Elizabeth Mae Stratton
May 12th, 1992 - October 29th, 2006
gone, but never, ever forgotten...
Monday, October 22, 2007 8:28 AM CDT
Here we go...the week leading up to the 1 year anniversary of our Lizziegirl's passing. I just can't believe it's been almost a year since we got to hold our sweet girl. My mind keeps going back to those last few days we had with her. She was in so much pain. So ready to be let go. There are so many things I wish I would have said to her, so many things I want to go back and re-do. Even though we knew the end was near, you just really never comprehend how very permanent it is. There was this feeling of, if we just get her comfortable, then we will have made it through this rough patch. But for her to get that comfortable, that at peace, she had to leave her body. Now we are left with thoughts unspoken, empty hearts, and so many questions. We are left to carry on without our sweet girl.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007 3:04 PM CDT
Way to go, TEAM LIZZIE! It was a rough one, but we did it. It was so cold Sunday morning, and rained on us the whole time. Angel Lizzie was kept busy as we all talked to our special angel and asked for some of her strength.
This was Joe's first half-marathon and he did awesome! He stayed strong the entire time. It was wonderful getting to run with him - we crossed the finish line holding hands.
This was Sanae's first full marathon and she did it! We are all so proud of her.
Thank you, Lizziegirl, for helping us all through a tough run, for inspiring us every step of the way to keep going. We miss you so much honey.
If you would like to see the interview of TEAM LIZZIE done by Denver's CBS channel 4, you can use the link below.
http://www.cbs4denver.com/video/?id=35366@kcnc.dayport.com
LiveStrong, LizzieStyle!
Thursday, October 11, 2007 11:08 AM CDT
Friday, October 12th, is Jessica's birthday! She will be 13 years old! I can't believe it - a teenager already. This picture of Lizzie and Jess was taken the month we moved into our house in Kearney. The girls had been in Iowa and their Uncle Jerry and Aunt Melissa drove them back so they could see their new house.
I had forgotten about this picture, put it in a box with all the others, and last year my two wonderful sisters-in-law, Melissa and Lisa, put it in a frame for Joe and I as a surprise. They had it sitting in the living room when I walked in. Seeing it again, after all these years, took my breath away. My girls are so beautiful, so full of life and spark. I am the luckiest mama in the world.
Team Lizzie leaves tomorrow for Denver. I'm so proud of our group. Each one of us has struggled through our training this time for various reasons, yet we are going to line the streets of Denver Sunday morning, and we are going to run LizzieStyle, with love in our hearts for a beautiful young lady who always gave it her all. This one's for you, Lizziegirl!
Have a great birthday, Jessica, and listen for your angel! Daddy and I are so proud of the young lady you are becoming, and I know your big sister is too!
Good luck TEAM LIZZIE! Mile by mile, LizzieStyle!
Saturday, October 6, 2007 7:17 PM CDT
Wow, this is a hard month to be in. I thought September was hard, but sitting here, in the month my child died, seems 10 times harder. I sit in our living room, the room Lizzie passed away in, and I can FEEL the memories from last year. The air, the sounds, the scents...they are all the same...only my Lizziegirl is not here with us...she'll never again be with us. It is just impossible to describe the pain.
Next week Joe and I will be getting ready to run a half-marathon. Along with the rest of TEAM LIZZIE, we will be running it for the brave, courageous spirit of Elizabeth Mae Stratton. We will run in honor and memory of an incredible young woman who died way too soon but lived out loud, lived strong, for 14 glorious years. Who taught us all to seize the day. To smile, laugh, and live. We will gather in her memory, and celebrate life, Lizziestyle, in spite of our grief, in spite of the pain of missing this beautiful person who graced our lives.
Lizziegirl, most days I don't want to get out of bed - I am just too tired. Yet when I lace up my rainbow shoe laces and prepare to run, I have an energy within me that I believe can only come from you. I watched you for years struggle through a disease with an uncertain outcome. Every trip to Omaha, every doctor's appointment, every treatment, surgery, scan, and poke, you always made the most of every moment, having fun when you could, holding onto daddy and I when you couldn't. I do that now; I know from your journal that you don't want us to be sad, so we try. We have fun when we can, and hold onto each other when we can't. Above all, we miss you so much honey. Although you taught us so much, we would trade it all to have you back with us. We love you, honey. I hope you can feel our love...mama
Friday, September 28, 2007 8:08 AM CDT
Lizziegirl...there is so much I want to talk to you about. I struggle with my thoughts...tomorrow will mark 11 months since you took to the skies. I sit here watching the sun climb into the sky and wonder where you are right now, what you are doing. Are you that butterfly that keeps coming to our backyard? Are you a busy angel in Heaven, are you resting, or busy playing, making up for all those months you were trapped by the cancer? Do you walk with Mary, snuggle with Jesus? Do you see Aunt Vickie? As your mama, it is so hard to not know what you are doing each day. I want to talk to you, catch up on your life. Share with you the details of my life...
Did you see your crazy daddy and Father Matt last weekend at the football game? I just know you were laughing so hard at those two as they did their 'Blues Brothers' routine during half-time. They were a hit - did you hear the people in the stands laughing? I wonder if you were here in our kitchen, watching as they 'rehearsed'. If you were here, you would have been right in the middle of it, laughing and dancing with them. Or maybe you would have been horrified that your dad was going to be dancing at YOUR school...what would your friends think??? I don't know, I tend to think you would have loved it.
Do you know that in 2 weeks TEAM LIZZIE will head to Colorado to run in the Denver Marathon and Half-Marathon? Do you know that our team has grown to include your daddy and your friend Charis? Do you know that with every single step of our training we all think of you, talk about you, run for you? You inspire us to keep going when we are tired and sore. We all watched you smile through your pain, and it reminds us to do the same.
Do you know that every morning you are missed even more than the day before, and each night we ache to be with you, and the hours in between seem impossible to get through without you. Do you know that you are loved, and remembered. 11 months. 11 years. Every single day, every single moment. Until we meet again...
Friday, September 21, 2007 9:22 AM CDT
this time last year...our sweet Elizabeth was a candidate for freshman royalty...she was so sick, on hospice, on oxygen, in a wheelchair...yet she made it down to the school to join her wonderful classmates...those dear classmates who voted for her, who included her in their homecoming week, even though it meant rearranging their schedules, their day...this time last year, Lizzie was voted freshman royalty and received a standing ovation from her classmates and teachers, friends and family...
Lizziegirl, you will always be our princess, our freshman royalty...we all continue to give you a standing ovation...
good luck tonight, Stars...I am sure a certain princess will be watching tonight...
Saturday, September 15, 2007 2:34 PM CDT
Thank you for all the wonderful birthday messages. We have successfully made it through all the September birthdays in our family! Whew! Next one is in October, when Lizzie's sister, Jessica, becomes a teenager. Wow.
Lizzie did seem to be around for our birthdays...Kaylie told us a couple of days before her birthday that she wanted Lizzie to come to her party. The day of Abby's party, the kids were playing outside and Jess hollers at us all to look up - there are at least 7 butterflies dancing around the kids.
And then on Kaylie's day, a large monarch flew up to the front door and fluttered around a while.
Yesterday Kaylie and I took Lizzie's favorite candy bar up to the cemetery for my birthday, and sure enough, there were butterflies all around us. Later in the day we were in our front yard and saw several. Molly brought me some birthday goodies and as we walked out to her car a large butterfly came dancing around us, flying right between us.
Lizziegirl, do you remember last year, when you planned a surprise massage for me? You were so excited that you couldn't keep the surprise any more and told me about it. The massage was supposed to be for you, but you requested that it be given to me for my birthday. You were always, always doing things like that...always giving, always getting more joy out of doing things for other people. I can still see the excitement in your eyes as you told me about my present. That is why Kaylie and I took you your favorite candy bar...I know you can't eat it, and hopefully in heaven you get to enjoy things 10 times sweeter than any candy bar, but I still wanted to do something for you, the way you were always doing things for other people. I love all the butterflies, sweetheart. We would obviously rather have a hug from you, have you here with us, healthy and whole, but we are trying to appreciate the beauty in the lovely things you seem to be sending us.
Next week is going to be a tough one, baby girl. It's homecoming week at KCHS. Remember last year, even though you were too tired and weak to go, you still wanted to dress up, to participate, from a distance. The first day was character day, or something like that, and you wanted to be 'Rainbow Girl'. We painted your nails every color of the rainbow and you put on a rainbow shirt. There you were, so sick, and yet still showing such spirit. You were so tough, so strong.
Since we couldn't get you to school, school came to you...all of those wonderful kids and parents, decorating our yard and street, including you in the fun, coming to sit with you during class. I'm going to need your help next week, Lizziegirl. The sweet memories are going to be tough.
Your Grandma and Grandpa recently went on a trip; one day they arrived in a town called Elizabeth, and guess what was on the top of the city sign? A statue of an eagle, of course. You just seem to be around us, reminding us of your love, of your reach. Thank you, sweet girl. We all miss you so so much, and can't wait till the day when we get to dance around those rainbows with you...
Thursday, September 13, 2007 8:19 AM CDT
miss you so, baby girl...
Thursday, September 13, 2007 8:13 AM CDT
Tuesday, September 11, 2007 7:19 AM CDT
This time last year...
Molly took Lizzie to school that day...
In Theology class, she was asked if she could be any kind of animal...and she said, "...a soaring eagle..."
If you notice, in the picture, I'm in the background, watching, making sure Molly will take good care of my girl...I'm still doing that, sweetheart...still watching, looking, checking, even if it is in the background...
Miss you so terribly, sweet girl...
Friday, September 7, 2007 11:28 AM CDT
This time last year...
Friday, September 2, 2006 KCHS first home game...
What a night! First of all, congrats KCHS!! They won their first game! And, they had to play in a downpour! Way to go, guys!
Molly, Eric, Annie and Liza met us at our house around 5:30 so we could walk over to the game together. It started raining as we walked down to the school. They had moved the pregame party inside, so we ate dinner and had a great time meeting new families. This is such a great school - it really is more like a big family. So many people came up to us last night to welcome us. Lizzie received lots of 'hi's' and waves, some friends stopped by to talk to her for a few minutes, and Jess was swept away by a group of girls not long after we got there. We didn't see much of her until after the game. Father Matt took a break from serving hamburgers to come over and sit with us for a while, and Mr. Torsen, the principle, sat and visited with Lizzie while he ate his supper.
Because of the rain we decided not to go to the game; we weren't sure how an electric chair would do wet, and Joe and Eric didnt really want to sit in the rain... :) Anyway, we set out to leave - Jody Heeney loaned us her umbrella to cover Lizzie with, and she and the guys took off ahead of us. In the meantime, Liza, Annie, Abby and Kaylie had discovered a puddle of water just outside the gym. They had shed their shoes and were dancing in it and laughing and just having the best time. It was pouring rain and they were spashing, waving their arms around and throwing their heads back to catch a raindrop. Molly and I got caught up in their spirit and caught a few puddles of our own on our walk home! We all fell into the house a wet, giggly mess!
After we got home and changed into dry clothes, the little girls went downstairs and watched a movie, and the rest of us sat around listening to the game and visiting. We live close enough to the school that we could hear the cheers coming off the field. Father Matt stopped by after the game. Jess got home soaking wet but very happy. It was such a great night, with so many unexpected adventures tucked into the evening. These are the days we will remember...
.......................................................................
Just sitting here remembering what we were doing 'this time last year'. September was such an intense month - Lizziegirl was so sick yet she pulled it all together, truly living each day to it's fullest. Something I didn't put in that update, a sweet memory...After we all got home, Molly jumped on the couch next to Lizzie and somehow got a hold of a bag of Oreo cookies. I look over to see them giggling - Molly is feeding Lizzie the cookies and they are just having a ball together. I will always think of that night as 'Oreo Cookie Night'. I can still see that smile on my girl's face, still hear her laughing at something Molly had said or done. Sweet, precious moments.
Tomorrow is Abby's 9th birthday, and Kaylie turns 4 on Sunday. Happy birthday girls. We love you so much.
Thursday, August 30, 2007 3:36 PM CDT
quick update: just 3 hours after I posted, Abby fell and rammed her front, upper tooth back up into her gum. I'm in the market for a bubble for our little Abby - she seems to need to be in one! A HUGE thank you to Dr. Connelly for looking at her and Dr. Heeney for taking care of her on the spot - talk about a house call.
Abby is fine - a pretty big bruise on her lip on the inside and we'll have to watch to see if that tooth comes back down, but she was LizzieTough tonight!!
end of update........................................
It's almost September...so many memories of 'this time last year'. Going to school with Lizzie, football games at KCHS, homecoming week... September in our family means birthdays...Abby's on the 8th, Kaylie's on the 9th and mine a few days later. Last year we bought them a Barbie Jeep - Kaylie was thrilled that she had "wheels like Lizzie now!"
During the days when Jess, Abby and Kaylie were at school and Molly's house, Lizzie and I had so much time together - precious time to snuggle, read, watch tv, scrapbook...how I miss those moments with her. It's still so very hard to believe that she isn't here anymore. There are days that I think we might be learning to live with the pain, and the very next moment a new pain slices through us - it might be a song, or a scent, or a memory - whatever the reason, it feels like the grief just sneaks up on you and knocks you down. A good friend and fellow 'bereaved parent' says that we are battle-tested. That just rings so true - that is exactly how I feel most days, like I've been to battle, and now with every step I take I'm afraid of another attack. I walk cautiously, aware of every threat. Last weekend we had a scare with Abby; we were riding bikes and long story short, she just about got hit by a car. I was behind her and could see it all happening but couldn't do a thing to stop it. She had angels looking out for her and everything turned out fine, but it just brought home how very little control we have on our lives. We can do our best to protect our kids, put helmets on them, make them eat their veggies, but somehow accidents still happen and cells grow out of control. I guess all we can do is "livestrong" and "seize the day".
So, as we begin September and look forward to fall, I will continue to look back on 'this time last year' while moving forward, one careful step at a time, armed with veggies and a helmet, of course...
Wednesday, August 22, 2007 5:58 PM CDT
Sweet Elizabeth...did you see all of those people that gathered for the 1st Annual Lizzie Stratton Run? It was a huge success, sweetheart! So many people were there to LiveStrong, LizzieStyle! Eileen, fresh from chemo, still tired and a little weak, was there, LivingStrong! Morgan and her family came over from Omaha - all NINE of them were there, even little Mae. Morgan was running for you, baby...And Charis drove over from Denver...she ran with me and we talked about how strong and inspiring you are...we talked about your cranes, and how you inspired people even then to learn to fold those paper birds, and through your positive influence, people gathered and helped you reach your goal, which was surpassed by at least 1000...
Your friends and classmates and teachers and even that ornery principal from KCHS were there, running for you, thinking of you...
Father Matt and Father Torpey, Rachel and her family... Grandma and Grandpa drove over from Iowa to run for you, and even got a medal and certificate...Jessica placed 3rd in her age category! And Abby and Kaylie ran the 1 mile for you!
So many people I can't even name them all...new friends, old friends...all running for a great school and an amazing young lady.
It was so moving to look out at the sea of yellow t-shirts, to know that all those people were there to support a wonderful school, an incredible community, and our Sweet Elizabeth. As we were running, we saw people just flying through the miles with ease, and we saw people who were struggling to get through it...I believe you were helping us all...a friend of mine said that this was her first 5K, and she ran the whole thing, and had a smile on her face at the finish line. Someone else told me it was a hard trek, but every time they saw your picture, they were inspired to keep moving.
Your daddy, who has recently started training for his first half-marathon, rounded the corner at the half-way point and felt something he has never felt before during his runs - he had a sensation of becoming lighter; one minute he was running with Charis, Father Matt and I, and the next second, he was ahead of us, and then gone...we couldn't even see him. He told me later he just felt light and the running felt easy.
Did you see all the children? So many kiddos ran the 1-mile Fun Run - it was breathtaking to see them come barreling across the finish line, knowing how you were delighting in their energy and happiness.
And the butterflies...so many of them, right away at the start, and then along the course as I grew tired (I didn't get that 'light' feeling Daddy did...thanks, Liz...(:) We felt you all throughout the course, throughout the morning. We were all living life with Lizzie in Mind...we all miss you so, sweetheart. I love you so much, honey. I keep looking for rainbows and butterflies, angels and eagles!
Saturday, August 18, 2007 5:56 PM CDT
Today was such a great day! We arrived at the Archway bright and early and were greeted by the most beautiful sunrise. We had a great turnout, and just as soon as we started running we were joined by a butterfly!
Thank you all who came out, all who drove several hours to be here, and all who wanted to be here. Thanks for Living Lizziestyle!
I will post more stories later of the run. Thanks for checking in on us!
Thanks, Lizziegirl, for being there with us, and for giving us such a special day!
Wednesday, August 15, 2007 1:13 PM CDT
One year ago today I was lucky enough to be able to escort my daughter to school. One year ago today, Lizzie entered a new school as a freshman. One year ago today, my sweet Lizzie was alive.
I can still remember how the crisp morning air hit my face as I pushed Lizzie's wheelchair down the street. Joe had taken the day off to go with us...we walked into the building and met with that fiesty principal...and then Father Matt showed us around and sat with us in the library for awhile. I can still hear the friendly voices calling out greetings to Lizzie. I was so nervous for her, yet every time I looked into those beautiful brown eyes of hers I saw a calm, peaceful look. She was nervous but wanted to be there. She knew what she was doing. My wise daughter...
Now I see girls her age, friends of hers, driving by on their way to school. I feel such sadness, knowing that if she were alive, if cancer had never invaded her life, she would be a sophmore this year, driving a car, calling friends on her cell phone, possibly dating (if she could have talked her daddy into it - not likely)...all those things a healthy 15 year old girl gets to do. She should be doing that.
This time last year...my Lizziegirl was here...she was a freshman, and wanted to go on crazy walks to Sunmart and Hobby Lobby, and watched Gilmore Girls with me...this time last year...
Saturday, August 11, 2007 3:17 PM CDT
The Lizzie Stratton Memorial Run is just one week away. As it gets closer I find it harder and harder to read those four words together...it's been 9 whole months since we've seen our precious daughter, and life is just so hard without her. We long to hear her laugh, see her smile, look into those wise, deep eyes. Next week will be an emotional one - to know that just a year ago Lizzie was entering the halls of KCHS as a freshman...and now we celebrate her life with this memorial run. I wonder if she knew the affect her short attendance was going to have on all of us - all the friendships she brought into our lives, the support there for her little sister, now an 8th grader, and the sweet memories she gave me as I got to walk beside my daughter during her final weeks at school. It was such an honor to be by her side, to be her 'hands', to watch her study and do her homework. It was a struggle for her to get to school - in a halo, in a wheelchair, no use of her hands. Yet on the mornings she said she would go, she was up and ready for the challenge. I can still see her in her uniform, making me go through her backpack to be sure we had everything..."Notebook?" yes..."Pencils?" yes..."glasses?" yes...always, always prepared, always organized...something I wasn't...I was always forgetting to put one of her books in the bag, or I had left her glasses on the coffee table...but she kept me in line, and we always made it on time to class with all of the supplies...
One of those items that Lizzie always made sure I had in the backpack was cinammon Altoids. Before class we'd each pop one in our mouths and suck on them throughout the hour. I still have that tin of Altoids, haven't had one since. But everytime I open it up and smell that sweet cinammon scent, those sweet moments with my girl come swirling back into my heart.
Now as I help Abby and Jess get their school supplies organized, my heart wanders back to those August/September mornings when we would venture out, down the ramp, onto the street, and through the backdoor of the school. Precious memories...
So, next week we will run for a great school, and one heck of a mighty miracle, my sweet Elizabeth. What an honor to be part of this event. Thanks, KCHS, and everyone in Kearney for your great support, and for your love for our daughter.
Living Life with Lizzie in Mind!
~Sam
Monday, August 6, 2007 5:38 PM CDT
The Lizzie Stratton Memorial Run is coming up fast - August 18th is right around the corner!! So many mixed emotions go through me as we plan for this great event for Kearney Catholic High School. I feel so blessed that Lizzie's name is being linked to this run, and hope that it is an annual event. It is very important to Joe and I that Lizzie's name and spirit remain a strong part of this community. At the same time, it breaks my heart to see my daughter's name accompanied by 'memorial'. I know she is in Heaven, but it is still hard to fathom that she is gone.
I want to thank every single one of you who has told me that Lizzie has inspired you to get out there and train for this run. That means so very much to us. I love the idea of everyone out there Saturday morning, running for our Lizziegirl, running to benefit an awesome school, perhaps struggling but knowing they can do it.
Just a quick reminder, the deadline for registration IF YOU WANT A T-SHIRT, is the 10th. The t-shirts are awesome - designed by Kim Squiers, they capture the spirit of KCHS and Lizziegirl.
Cannot wait to see you all out there, LivingStrong, LizzieStyle, Mile by Mile!!
Friday, August 3, 2007 9:32 PM CDT
Dear Sweet Jeff...yes, get ready for another medical treatment, I'm going to be nice again!!
Yes, I remember Lizzie's laugh...I think of it every single day...there was nothing like it in this whole wide world...something like the prettiest song combined with birds chirping in the early morning breeze...you just couldn't help but feel pure joy when she laughed, and she laughed often! And her smile...you couldn't see it, but when you were talking to her on the phone, she always had the biggest, sweetest smile on her face. Her twinkling, chocolate-drop eyes would be dancing as she listened to your mischeivous ideas and thoughts.
I remember you calling just about every day just to give her something else to think about during the endless days at home when she was so sick...I remember you calling and asking me if that was ok, or if you should just leave her alone...you only wanted to make her feel good and worried about which was the right way to go. You always ended the conversations with, "call if you need anything...I'm only 4 hours away..."
I remember you and Uncle Jerry calling her 'Beth' before 'Lizzie' caught on. I remember an uncle who was devoted to his neice, who would do anything and everything for her.
I remember a sweet little giggle when she delivered the kiss and hug and heard the protesting 'bellow' from her daddy. And I'm pretty sure I can still hear that laughter on the wings of a butterfly...
Ok, Jeff...that is just about as nice as I can possibly be for the rest of the year...
Sunday, July 29, 2007 9:28 PM CDT
Today is the ornery, infamous Uncle Jeff's birthday! Happy birthday, Jeff! We love ya! Happy 35th!! HA! (I'm still younger than you!!)
So many memories of Uncle Jeff and LizzieLou...he may have a big bark, but inside, when it came to his Lizziegirl, he was always a big ol' teddy bear! Sweet Uncle Jeff, who would drive over after work from Des Moines to Omaha when Lizzie was having a treatment...just to rub her legs and talk to her for a few hours...after she had fallen asleep, he would tip-toe out of the room after giving her a gentle kiss and make the 2 hour drive home. Although his visits always meant him getting home late (or early-morning) he did it as often as possible.
He read Harry Potter books and had many discussions with Elizabeth about it...they discussed other books, as well, and he was always sending her books to read. Many debates took place between those two. She loved to challenge him, and he loved to tease her (shocked, anyone??).
When she was ready to let go of this life, he was by her side. While Joe and I rested at her bedside, he sat beside her and prayed for her, and listened as the angels came to claim her.
As much as we harass him, we adore him. Thanks, Jeff, for being an awesome uncle, brother, brother-in-law, and friend. Happy Birthday.
Coincidently, (or not, perhaps) today marks the 9th month to the day that Lizzie went to heaven. A friend of mine told me that she read that the day we die becomes our new birthday in heaven. So, today, alongside her sweet uncle, Lizzie celebrates a birthday as well. She has been an angel for 9 whole months...can you imagine all the work she has done already?? I can only imagine...
Happy Birthday, sweet Elizabeth...we love you...we miss you terribly...but we know you are a busy little angel, and trust that you are happy...
Monday, July 23, 2007 8:11 AM CDT
Jessica, Abby and Kaylie are in Iowa with Grandma and Grandpa (Joe's parents). Ever since we moved to Nebraska nine years ago, this has been an annual event. It started with Lizzie and Jessica going because we had just moved here and were living in a hotel until we could find a house, and I was 49 months pregnant with Abby...ok, more like 8...anyway, the girls were restless and I was hot and tired, so Grandma and Grandpa took the girls to the farm so I could rest and they could play. They had so much fun and couldn't wait to go back the next summer. As soon as Abby was old enough she started going also. Then the unthinkable happened, Lizzie was diagnosed with cancer. Now the summer trips to Iowa meant Jessica and Abby going because Lizzie had surgery, or a tough treatment, or was really sick and needed the house to be quiet. Lizzie was so sad to miss those trips, and Jess had a hard time going without her big sister there to guide her through her play.
And then last year, Lizzie was confined to the couch and that awful halo, and Jessica refused to leave her side, so Abby and Kaylie went up, and Lizzie, Jess and I dove into our Gilmore Girls marathon and scrapbooking afternoons...hours of Jimmy Johns sandwiches, or spaghetti, and our dear friends, Lorelai and Rory. Although last summer was so hard for so many reasons, it will always be one of my favorites...snuggling on the couch with Lizzie's sweet little limp arm caressing my back the best she could as I lay my head on her lap...falling asleep together with the Friends theme song playing in the background as we watched every single season...oh Lizziegirl...I do miss you so...I will always, ALWAYS treasure that summer, every single second. Thank you so much for fighting hard for those last days. I know it cost you.
So this summer, Jess, Abby and Kaylie are back at the farm. There are 3 new kitties that they have each named, and I am sure they are the most loved kitties anywhere. Joe and I are enjoying some time alone, too. On Friday we drove to Cheyenne to see Bon Jovi in concert - a lifetime dream of mine - can I just say...WOW!!!
On Sunday we went for a long bike ride together. Along the path we saw so many butterflies. They truly seemed to be riding along with us. At one point one literally fluttered all around Joe and then danced off. Joe continued to watch it and ended up going off the path. I chuckled and said, for Lizzie, "Pay attention Daddy!!" Joe smiled back and said, "Quit distracting me, Lizzie!!"
Anyone who knows Joe knows he will banter with the best of them, but no one bantered as well as Lizzie...she and Joe were always going back and forth, both with little smiles on their faces, challenging each other to best the other. Hearing Joe call out to her like that reminded me of those fun conversations. I have to believe that little butterfly was chuckling to herself, knowing she had driven her daddy off the path, and had won that round...
We saw many more butterflies before we were done with our ride, and Joe managed to keep the bike on the trail, but I swear she was trying hard to get the better of him the whole time.
It's Monday morning, and the house is empty...I think I might go order a Jimmy John sandwich, put on Gilmore Girls, and sit on the couch and listen for my angel...
Monday, July 16, 2007 1:12 PM CDT
Tuesday, July 17th, is Molly's birthday!! Molly, our dear sweet Molly Mac, who has been such a good friend to us all...who came into our lives and our hearts. We are so blessed with wonderful moments and memories...here are just a few...
One summer day at the pool we happened to run into Molly and her girls, Annie and Liza. I had just gotten a part-time job and was looking for a babysitter for Kaylie. She offered to take her on Wednesday's, my long day, and refused to take any money. Kaylie instantly fell in love with Molly and every day would ask, "Molly's House today, Mommy??" When Lizzie couldn't go to school for various cancer-related reasons, she also started going to Molly's on Wednesday's. The deal was, she still had to do her homework, and she because she had missed so much school, she required a tutor, but didn't want one. Since Molly is a math whiz, she agreed to be the tutor.
However, whenever Lizzie and Molly got together, Molly morphed into a teen-ager herself, and I don't think too much tutoring took place! When my day was done and I went to pick the girls up, Molly's kitchen counter was littered with popcorn and People magazines, Jolie Edwards was almost always playing in the cd player, and Molly and Lizzie could be heard giggling and talking. Lizzie treasured those days with her friend. In fact, we used to jokingly fight about who's friend she really was, hers or mine!
Then came the days when Molly would come over and watch movies with Lizzie, and they would break out the cookie dough, and with a bite here and a bite there, go through half a tube! I'm not sure who looked more sheepish when I walked in the door!
I remember well the day Molly went with Lizzie to school. I watched as they strolled down the street together, Lizzie in her wheelchair and Molly with the backpack thrown over her shoulder. I can still hear their laughter ringing out. They looked like two best friends going to highschool together.
Another day, Lizzie and Molly sitting on the couch eating oreos and giggling.
Then, the saddest of all days, when Lizzie said she was ready to let go, I called Molly to tell her she needed to come say goodbye...her husband, Eric, answered the phone and said, "she is already on her way." Without being told, Molly had sensed that she needed to come to her Lizziegirl.
When she arrived, she walked over to Lizzie, who was letting go and had her eyes closed...Molly whispered, "Have fun in Heaven, honey..." Lizzie opened her eyes and gave Molly the sweetest smile...it would be her last smile, and it was all for Molly...
Mighty Molly, who held us up as we planned Lizzie's funeral, who walked with us as we chose the casket, the land, the dress. Who ran with me, step for step, on my first half-marathon in memory of Lizzie, even though she was capable of running much faster.
Molly, who continues to cry with me, laugh with me, and calls us when she sees a rainbow. We love you Molly. You are a treasure, a blessing, a friend. Have a great birthday, and be sure and watch for a special angel. I think she will be celebrating her good friend tomorrow as well.
Thursday, July 12, 2007 8:26 PM CDT
Update: Friday 10:30 PM:
I was really missing my sweet girl today, so I went out to her Park to sit with her. I took some of her favorite angels from her collection in her room and a green rosary to wrap around her flower vase. I was sitting beside her grave, telling her how I am struggling to believe, and pleaded for a sign..."if you truly are near, please send me a butterfly right now!"
This white buttefly comes zipping by me for a moment and then is gone. At first I feel grateful, and then I get greedy. I say, "that is not enough!! I want you right here with me!"
At that moment, a giant yellow butterfly comes floating by and makes a huge circle around me. And then, in my mind, or perhaps my heart, I hear, "I am all around you..."
I looked out in amazement and saw 3, 4, 5 butterflies dancing all around me.
I sat and watched the butterflies dance for a while before I left. Even though I still felt sad, a peaceful feeling had come over me.
Tonight, Joe took Jessica and Abby to see the new Harry Potter movie. Kaylie and I stayed home, and decided to go for a walk. Kaylie rode her bike as I walked along beside her. As we got to the the end of our street she said she wanted to go to our church, which is just down the block from where we live. As we approached the church, Kaylie announced that she wanted to go inside. So we parked the bike and tiptoed into the quiet darkness. She marched right over to the holy water and crossed herself and then said she wanted to go in and sit down. It was really, really dark in there, and being that she is only 3, I figured she would change her mind rather quickly.
We walked in and right away landed in the spot where Lizzie's casket had been placed for viewing. I held my breath and let my feelings wash over me. Kaylie grabbed my hand and said, "Come on Mommy." Surprised at her bravery (this is the child that still requires a night light) I followed. We walked about half-way in and sat and said a prayer for Lizzie. Then Miss Kaylie took my hand and said, "I want to go up to the front." My eyes had not yet adjusted to the dark, so I followed her lead, still amazed at how willing she was to travel onward. She walked right up to the front, circled around, and then said, "ok, I'm ready to go now."
It was amazing. It was like she had a specific reason for being there, for walking where she had walked. I couldn't help but marvel at her faith, so to speak, to walk in darkness and not be afraid.
My sweet young babies...so wise, teaching me daily how to live.
So many symbols today...the many butterflies, Kaylie leading me into the darkness and not being afraid...is this Lizzie trying to tell me somtehing?
end of update.
Thanks, Molly, for posting about Kaylie's dream. It does seem like Lizziegirl is staying so close to her little sisters, which is so very like her...always a mother-hen, and at times, more mothering than me!!!
One more example...
Today, after the sleepover, Abby and I were sitting outside on our patio eating lunch. A small white butterfly danced by us, and Abby called out, "hi Lizzie!!" She then turned to me and said, "Mommy, Annie and I decided that the white butterflies are Elizabeth, the small yellow butterflies are Haley (Lizzie's sweet friend, fellow cancer fighter, who is with her in Heaven...ne/haleygirl) and the Big yellow butterfly is God."
Wow. I sat there is silence, struggling not to cry. She then said..."and the big yellow one flies by us a lot, so I think God is around us a lot."
Ok. Wow. Wow. Abby...my sweet, tender-heart little 8 year-old, soon to be 9, who reminds me more and more of Elizabeth. What a profound thought to emerge from such a young age. I have a hard time grasping/believing, and yet here she is, calling out to her sister as the white butterfly goes by...
Thank you, Sweet Elizabeth, for taking such good care of your baby sisters...and for staying close...love you so much, baby girl...keep soaring...
Monday, July 9, 2007 3:10 PM CDT
Before going to New Mexico I was so afraid of leaving Lizzie behind, even if it was just her little body. I just didn't want to get too far from her Park for too long. But once I got to my mom's, and our little butterfly started coming around, and I could still feel her with us, I relaxed and felt a small piece of my heart healing. Just knowing that no matter where I go, perhaps she will follow gave me some peace. Once we got back home, I actually dreaded going back to her Park, seeing her name written on that stone, with her picture smiling back at me. Being away, I had felt her spirit, and it didn't feel like she had left us completely. So to go back to the cemetery was a reality check...oh yes, there it is...we really did have that funeral...she really is gone.
But I needed to go up and check on her, so the girls and I bought some yellow flowers today and drove up there. Kaylie and I have made that trip so often that she recognizes the streets now. I hadn't said anything to the girls about going, because Abby always gets upset. I thought I would just drive up quickly and leave the flowers before Abby could get too sad. Well, as we got closer, Kaylie calls out "Mommy, are we going to Lizzie's Park?" Little stinker! I said yes, but assured Abby she didn't have to get out.
Abby did stay in the van but Kaylie joined me. It always amazes me to watch Kaylie there. She walks around the stone, softly singing and playing with some of the items that have been left there. It almost feels like she is really in tune with Lizziegirl still. My mom is reading this right now saying, 'She is, children are!!' But it really does feel like there is a deeper level of understanding for her, and I love to just sit back and watch her. She is rarely sad there, and almost always sings and dances and plays. I like to think that Lizzie is sitting beside me, watching her baby sister being so happy, and loving it. She was so afraid that Kaylie would forget her, but I just don't think that will happen.
As we were driving away, our little butterfly danced around us once, then flew off...I couldn't help but smile...it was like she was saying, "see mommy? I am still with you. I will always be with you..."
Thursday, July 5, 2007 6:27 PM CDT
I am very excited to announce that on August 18th the First Annual Elizabeth Stratton Memorial Run/Walk will take place in Kearney, Nebraska!! All money raised from the run will be used to fund activiities for Kearney Catholic High School students.
Although Lizzie attended KCHS for only a couple of months, she loved that school, and all the people in it. By attending for a short time, she gave us an long-lasting gift - a family of wonderful friends.
When Lizzie attended school there, she was paralyzed, in a wheelchair and couldn't move even her arms. She was in a halo and her face was swollen from all her meds. She felt ugly and insecure (although she was more beautiful than ever), yet she bravely faced being the new kid. And the students and staff took her on as one of their own, as if she had been going there forever. Students opened the door for her, took her homework up to the teacher, and included her in their visits. Several of them came to the house to hang out with her. As she was wheeled down the halls toward her classrooms, you could always hear students calling out 'hi's' and 'good to see you, Lizzie!' It may have been a short attendance, but it was a wonderful experience for her, and a blessing for our family.
So now we will have a run/walk to memorialize that sweet, brave, strong girl and benefit the school she loved, the school that was so good to her, and continues to be good to us. Please join us in remembering Elizabeth, and support an incredible school in the process.
If you are interested, I have registration forms, or you can log onto the school's website and print one off. There will be a 1 mile Kids Fun Run, and a 5K run/walk. Pre-register by August 10th for only $15 and receive a free t-shirt. There is also a family rate (up to 6 people) for only $45.
The schools website is http://www.kchs.esu10.k12.ne.us/.
Can't wait to see you there!
Lizziegirl, this one is for you, baby!
Wednesday, July 4, 2007 1:40 PM CDT
Happy 4th of July!! I was struck with a sweet memory today. I may have posted this story already, but it is worth telling again.
Four years ago, Lizzie was undergoing some treatments, so Jess and Abby went to Iowa to spend some time with Joe's parents. Kaylie was yet to be born. It was the evening of the 4th, and we had been watching movies inside all day, allowing Elizabeth to rest and stay out of the heat. It was starting to get dark, and so we decided to venture outside. Lizzie and I sat on our steps together watching Joe light fireworks from our driveway. He was lighting something, and thought it went off faster than it did. He shot out of the driveway, scrambling to get away. Anyone who knows Joe knows he is pretty layed back, hard to shake up. Well, the sight of that firecracker lighting up shook him up alright...he ran out of the driveway like the thing was chasing him!
Lizzie and I laughed so hard, and he looked at us like he was 'Joe-cool', and had never even been bothered. I can still hear Lizzie's sweet laugh ringing out, calling out to her daddy, saying, "it's coming to get you daddy!!" We almost fell off the steps we were laughing so hard.
Can you imagine the view from heaven on the 4th of July? I bet it's pretty spectacular.
We are back from New Mexico. We had a wonderful trip. And we felt Lizzie with us the whole time. We even saw an eagle. One morning, Kaylie was missing Lizzie more than usual, and she asked me when was Lizzie coming back to us. I told her she had to stay in heaven, and Kaylie started crying. I picked her up and took her outside, thinking, 'Ok, LizzieLou. Your little sister needs you right now." I had just got the thought out and our large yellow butterfly came dancing by us. Kaylie instantly calmed down and said, "Mommy, Lizzie is with us!" Thank you Lizzie...we love you honey. We will be sending rainbows of light up to you tonight!
Please be safe everyone, and keep 'Living Life with Lizzie in Mind'!
Friday, June 29, 2007 11:18 AM CDT
Thanks for checking in on us! We are having a wonderful time...it does feel very wrong to be here without Elizabeth, but we have had a few signs that she is close by. We were sitting out on the patio one morning and a big, beautiful butterfly fluttered around us. It swooped by us, circled around and came back. This continued for awhile. Mom said that they have had butterflies coming around, but never had one stayed as long as this one did.
Two days ago we went into Old Town in Albuquerque to do some shopping. We went to the same restaurant we had gone to two years ago with Lizzie. As the waitress led us to our table, we all realized that she was leading us to the very same table we had sat at then. Jess pointed out where Lizzie had sat, and that they had played with some Indian dolls we had purchased. We then realized that all the light fixtures were decorated with, yep, rainbows. We were literally surround by dozens upon dozens of rainbows. As if that wasn't enough, a picture on the wall was of roses in multiple colors...rainbow roses...and then to top it all off, on the wall looking over us was a large picture of Mary. So, as sad as it was to be back at that same spot without our sweet girl, it did feel like she was around us.
It's been so good to be with my mom. We have been swimming, running, shopping, and indulging in lots of Mexican food. Boy, I'd forgotten how good green chili is! Today my big brother is coming up and will spend the day with us. He just bought a new Harley and I think I might get to go for a ride!!
Thanks so much for checking in on us, and letting us know you are out there still.
LiveStrong, LizzieStyle!!
Friday, June 22, 2007 3:37 PM CDT
Thank you all who took the time to sign the petition. It is so important to start putting more focus on childhood cancers.
We leave tomorrow for New Mexico to see my mama. The last time we were there was 2 years ago...we went to Chimayo, hoping to find a miracle for Lizzie. That trip filled us with such hope, such faith. We knew Elizabeth was going to beat cancer.
Now, we will go on a trip without our sweet girl. I have this strange anxiety about leaving her behind. I know that her spirit is no longer in her body, but I hate the thought of being so far away from her Park. Her little body, the body I carried in my tummy for 9 months, the body I gave birth to, the little body I held and rocked and snuggled with, that is there, in that cemetery, and I feel torn up about being so far away from her.
I know we will have a wonderful time. It will be so good to be with my mom again. Joe and I are going to do some running while we are there, to condition ourselves for our next half-marathon, which will be in Denver. We are all ready to get away and relax and have fun.
So, Sweet Elizabeth, I'm sorry we are leaving, but Molly promised to go up and sit with you while we are gone. I hope to see lots of butterflies and rainbows, and maybe even an eagle or two. I hope that you will find us in New Mexico. ...I'll be looking...love you so, sweet girl...mama
Tuesday, June 19, 2007 7:34 PM CDT
This weekend I received an e-mail from a friend at Children's Hospital in Omaha. It contains startling, sad facts. Please take a moment to read through this, and to sign the petition. It only takes a minute, and you just might save a child's life by doing so. Thank you!
"...children with cancer continue to be treated primarily with drugs that were developed 20-30 years ago. Scientifically, researchers have reached an era where new types of ‘smart drug’s can be developed to treat cancer at a genetic level. These new types of cancer treatments have started to be developed for adult cancers and have showed great promise for cure. Children with cancer need these types of new drugs to give them HOPE for a complete cure.
Current debates in both the House and Senate could eliminate such future development of targeted drugs for children with cancer and other rare diseases. In order to protect biotech development of such essential biologic products, Candlelighters will continue to receive support of families, friends, and co-workers through the signing of the following petition located at:
www.candlelighters.org/petition.stm
A Petition to Congress to Preserve Innovation and Support H.R. 1956, the “Patient Protection and Innovative Biologic Medicines Act of 2007
Because the survival rate of childhood cancer has not changed in the last decade.
Because treatment for children with cancer has not changed significantly in recent years and we are eagerly awaiting a major breakthrough.
Because current toxic therapies are not a solution for children with cancer as they cause lifelong health problems including second cancers.
Because biologic products are among the most promising and effective medicines for the treatment of serious and life-threatening diseases, like childhood cancer.
Because it is vital that we spur innovation for pharmaceutical companies to invest in the development of these life-saving drugs.
As supporters of the development of new targeted therapies for children and adolescents with cancer, we petition Congress to support H.R. 1956, the “Patient Protection and Innovative Biologic Medicines Act of 2007;” legislation that creates a pathway for “follow-on” biologics but establishes an appropriate balance between reducing cost, ensuring safety and providing incentives for innovation.
Please forward to other listservs, to friends, families, and colleagues and ask them to sign the petition as well!
Thank you!"
The Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation
Thursday, June 14, 2007 9:40 PM CDT
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU DAD'S OUT THERE!
My sweet little Kayliegirl, so much in tune with her big sister, Lizzie...we were outside playing tonight...all of a sudden she stops the game of catch and says, "Oh, I want to say hi to Lizzie!!" She goes running over to a little angel we keep in our front yard...the angel is laying on her side, reading a book. Kaylie leans over, gives the angel a kiss, and comes over and resumes the game...at that moment a butterfly comes dancing by us, flies around the angel, Kaylie and I, then flies off into the sunset...we blew it a kiss and said, "we love you, Lizziegirl!"
Yesterday morning Kaylie got in bed with me and the first words out of her mouth were, "I miss Lizzie."
Later in the day, she said, "Mommy, why did Lizzie have to be killed?" So full of emotion and anger and sadness, I couldn't give a good answer. I just hugged Kaylie. A moment later Kaylie says, "Oh, yeah...Lizzie had to go because she wanted to be with God."
This all from my very wise little 3 year old...sweet little Kaylie who was mothered so lovingly by her big sister, Sweet Elizabeth...
Friday, June 8, 2007 8:49 PM CDT
"I can't find the words to pray
I'm a little down today
Can you help me
Can you help me
I feel a million miles away
And I don't know what to say
Can you hear me
Anyway
What I need is for you to reach out your hand
You have taught me, no matter what you'd understand
Lord move me in a way
I've never seen before
'cause there's a mountain in the way -
and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move, or move me
I've looked everywhere to find
A simple peace of mind
I can't find nothing, on my own
So I gotta leave myself behind
Take up this cross of mine
Give away everything I hold onto
Lord I know
the only way is through this
Lord I know
I need you to help me do this...
- sung by Jimmy Weber on the 'Because we Believe' cd
When Lizzie was less than 2 years old and learning how to speak, she used the words, "pookie please" for "excuse me". Never sounding like 'excuse me', Joe and I always wondered what she was thinking or where she had gotten her interpretation. Never-the-less, it was so darn cute, we still say it today. We miss her so much. It's still so hard to believe our sweet little girl is now longer with us...we won't tuck her into bed tonight, or greet her in the morning with a hug. So hard to fathom our sweet girl being gone...
Tomorrow is the CureSearch walk in Omaha. Many of our friends will be walking in memory/honor of a cancer fighter. God bless you all...we will be with you in thought...for more info go to Jake's site...ne/jakieboy.
Today I was sitting outside on the patio talking to a friend of mine and our little butterfly came back and sat with me for a bit...
Miss you so, Sweet Elizabeth...life just isn't right without you, baby girl...
Monday, June 4, 2007 2:38 PM CDT
We received a very special surprise on Joe's birthday...we were all sitting on our back patio and this little butterfly started dancing in and around us all. For the longest time it just seemed to be around, and after awhile, Abby couldn't handle it anymore and started putting her hand out, hoping it would land on her. We had asked her not to try and catch it so she wouldn't damage it's wings. It didn't take long before it was landing right next to Abby, getting closer and closer every time. It would fly off, and then land near Joe, then take off again, then come back and dance around Jess. It continued this for a long time. Just when we thought it was gone, it would come back. It landed in Abby's hand more than once, and on Jessica's leg. At one point it landed on the concrete and Abby put her hand down next to it and the butterfly actually approached Abby, walking right up onto her hand. We couldn't help but wonder if this was Lizziegirl, putting in an appearance at her Daddy's birthday dinner.
What made the moment even more magical was that right before we had gone outside, Kaylie told Joe that Lizzie was proud of her for wearing her rainbow shirt that 'Lizzie's Rainbow Makers' had given her. Joe asked her how she knew Lizzie was proud of her and she said that Lizzie told her. She went on to say that Lizzie comes to her at night and rubs her face and sings to her...something Lizzie did when she was alive. Kaylie told us that Lizzie is happy.
Wow...and then, today Kaylie picked up her pretend cell phone (a rock) and said she had to call Lizzie. I heard her talking a little later I asked her what she was doing and she said "talking to God". As if this is not enough, a friend of ours who had been a friend of Lizzie's e-mailed me and told me that on Sunday she put in 'Sweet Elizabeth' and her 7 month old daughter started singing along, and was turning to look at something, and would smile and giggle and talk to seemingly the air.
Elizabeth loved children, and it just makes perfect sense that she would still come and see her sister and sing to her at night, and her friend's baby, and all of the other babies. Children seem to be more sensitive to angels. On Friday a friend of mine brought her 2 month old baby over for a visit. She told me that she had taken her baby up to Lizzie's Park so she could let her baby 'meet' Lizzie. Her other son heard her making the introductions and questioned her. She told him that she wanted Lizzie to know the baby, and at that her oldest son said, "but mom, they already know each other. They knew each other in heaven."
How I envy the wisdom and ability these children have, the connection they seem to have with 'the other side'. Is this what Jesus meant when He said to be childlike in our beliefs? I am sure trying, but in the meantime I will treasure hearing about the conversations and visits, and I will enjoy the butterflies that dance around me.
"After passing back to spirit, they are able to be closer to you than they could in physical life." -Eric John Pierson
Wednesday, May 30, 2007 6:57 PM CDT
"If we do not live, speak and think in the language of enchantment, including naming angels and recognizing spirits...then the soul will go out of our lives and communities, and we will wonder why nothing seems to hold together and nothing seems to have value anymore."
-Thomas Moore
"Imagine your angel is sitting opposite you right now. Close your eyes, breathe in deeply and imagine your angel's golden light of love is filling your heart." -Margaret Neylon
"It is only by going through difficulties that we become strong. By opening up to love when we are facing such trials we can understand that we are not alone but have the unconditional support that we need from angels." -Margaret Neylon
"Serenity is ours when we allow the angels to quiet the turbulent forces of life and leave our souls in deep stillness." -Terry Lynn Taylor "Angel Days"
"The perfume of a summer rose lingers
in the folds of angel's wings." - Author Unknown
"Pay attention. Listen and say thank you throughout the day for divine guidance, thoughts of encouragement, and for all that goes well. They are brought to you on the soft rush of eternally loving wings." -Lynn Fischer
Friday, May 25, 2007 6:45 PM CDT
Memorial day weekend...it's been about 7 months since our Lizziegirl flew away. When I was in college I was taking a psychology class and we covered the different stages of grief...although I can't remember them all, I know that right now I am in the anger phase...I feel so very angry that my beautiful daughter is gone, that her life was cut short, that she had to suffer so greatly. I feel angry that she had to wear a halo, such a horrible contraption, and then was paralyzed. I feel angry that there is no cure for cancer. I feel angry that I have to say I have 3 children to avoid THAT conversation, when I have 4 children. I am proud of my 4 daughters, and I want to claim every one of them. But if I do that, it always leads to a conversation that nobody wants to hear.
I am angry. I am emotional. I ran into a good friend of mine today at the store, and mid-way through the conversation, I broke down. My poor friend didn't even see it coming. We were having a perfectly normal conversation, and the next moment I was crying. It comes out of nowhere, and everywhere. The sadness, it just envelopes you, swallows you, takes you under. You can't breathe, you can't surface.
However, in the midst of all the pain, I think of Elizabeth, suffering silently, walking so bravely, so strongly, towards her destiny. I know I have to be LizzieStrong. She wanted there to be a reason for it all, and I will try to continue to find that reason for her.
Next week the American Cancer Society Buffalo County Relay for Life will take place. In honor of our Sweet Elizabeth, the freshman class at Kearney Catholic has put together a team, raising money and awareness to fight the horrible beast that stole my daughter. I am so proud of these kids, out there raising money, holding fundraisers, living strong. Lizzie is so proud of them. I cannot express how grateful I am to each and every one of them.
To see what the amazing KC freshman class are doing in Lizzie's honor, go to...
http://buffalocounty.kintera.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=191372
click on 'Lizzie's Rainbow Makers' under Team Rank.
For all of you out there who will honor and remember loved ones lost this weekend, here's to you. God bless you...
Wednesday, May 23, 2007 4:59 PM CDT
I love hearing from everyone about how Lizzie continues to influence their lives. Although she was scared and sad about her future, she believed God's purpose for her was to teach people, to reach people. How very happy she must be to know that people are 'living life with Lizzie in mind', that through her they are stronger. I can just see her dancing so happily as Molly played her tennis match, as Mr. Haas's class created a rainbow for a classroom project, as Abby's class made roses for her park. I have to believe that she knows that she has changed people, that her suffering was not for nothing. Thank you, all, every single one of you, for keeping Lizziegirl in mind as you go throughout your days. You are fullfilling my Sweet Elizabeth's wish.
God bless...
Friday, May 18, 2007 9:42 PM CDT
Today Abby's class walked up to Lizzie's Park and placed hand-made roses on her grave. Abby tied a sign on Lizzie's tree. What a sweet gesture from Abby's classmates...to walk up there and gather around Lizzie...Lizzie who loved children, who had children come and get her to take her to heaven...how very appropriate to have children come to her and bring her flowers at her grave. Thank you Mrs. Whittaker. What a great, sweet idea. You made Abby very happy, and Lizzie, too, I am sure.
Thursday, May 17, 2007 1:45 PM CDT
We saw a big, beautiful rainbow last night. I've never seen a full rainbow, and this one was big and bright and so breathtaking. I could hear Lizzie's voice as she claimed, 'we made it to the top of the rainbow!' I can only begin to imagine what it must all be like, that heavenly bridge reaching from one world to the next.
We got through the weekend. Saturday was hard but we kept busy blowing up balloons and folding rainbow paper cranes. We made 15 of them and took them to the cemetary and hung them on her tree. The wind was blowing and it seemed like they were flying around. It was hard to celebrate her birthday like that, at the cemetary, but at least we were doing something. Then Sunday hit, and when I had 3 children climb in bed with me on Mother's Day, it was so sad not to see Lizzie joining in wake-mommy-up ritual.
It just isn't getting any easier. There are days I feel like we are learning to live with the pain, but then a song will come on the radio, or Abby will do something that is just so 'Lizzie' that it takes my breath away and knocks me to my knees. I still can't believe she is gone. It is just so so wrong. This time last year we were in Hawaii and Lizzie was learning how to snorkel, and now we go to the cemetary to visit with her. How in the world does that even begin to make sense??
Saturday, May 12, 2007 10:03 AM CDT
some precious moments...
when lizzie turned 2 we blew up a ton of balloons and stuffed them into a net which we placed up high in our living room ceiling. our friend, john, took lizzie for a walk so we could get it ready. when she walked into the house we released the balloons. lizzie looked up in wonder and exclaimed, 'balloons, john, balloons!!' i can still hear that sweet voice...
when she was 5 we had all her friends wear their swimsuits and piled them all on our trampoline with the sprinklers underneath, shooting up sprays of cold water. i can still hear her laughing as she and her friends bounced and tumbled. later we had a pinata that none of the kids could break, so our friend, diana, who is one tough chic, grabbed the bat and let loose a fountain of candy. she was the hero!
when lizzie turned 8 she wanted to go to whiskey creek where they sing and clap for the birthday person and deliver a huge slice of cake and ice cream. the look in her eyes was priceless as she took in that mound of chocolate and syrup. her eyes lit up as the waiters sung to her, and her daddy's voice carried well above theirs as he sang to his baby girl.
when she became a teenager we threw a huge birthday bash with her friend rachel (ne/rachelberreckman), whose birthday is may 13th. tons of people and presents, laughter and love.
when she turned 14 we flew to hawaii. we flew out of kansas city on the 13th and so we drove down on the 12th. her neck was already hurting her, but she was determined to make the trip. i think she knew it would be the last time she celebrated a birthday here on earth.
so many treasured moments. but not nearly enough.
lizzie lou, today, for you, we will eat chocolate chip cookie dough and watermelon. we will remember the delight in your eyes every time you celebrated another year, another moment. i can still see you dancing down the stairs, so happy and full of life. we love you so much sweetheart.
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you.
happy birthday, sweet elizabeth...
happy birthday to you...
Saturday, May 12, 2007 10:03 AM CDT
some precious moments...
when lizzie turned 2 we blew up a ton of balloons and stuffed them into a net which we placed up high in our living room ceiling. our friend, john, took lizzie for a walk so we could get it ready. when she walked into the house we released the balloons. lizzie looked up in wonder and exclaimed, 'balloons, john, balloons!!' i can still hear that sweet voice...
when she was 5 we had all her friends wear their swimsuits and piled them all on our trampoline with the sprinklers underneath, shooting up sprays of cold water. i can still hear her laughing as she and her friends bounced and tumbled. later we had a pinata that none of the kids could break, so our friend, diana, who is one tough chic, grabbed the bat and let loose a fountain of candy. she was the hero!
when lizzie turned 8 she wanted to go to whiskey creek where they sing and clap for the birthday person and deliver a huge slice of cake and ice cream. the look in her eyes was priceless as she took in that mound of chocolate and syrup. her eyes lit up as the waiters sung to her, and her daddy's voice carried well above theirs as he sang to his baby girl.
when she became a teenager we threw a huge birthday bash with her friend rachel (ne/rachelberreckman), whose birthday is may 13th. tons of people and presents, laughter and love.
when she turned 14 we flew to hawaii. we flew out of kansas city on the 13th and so we drove down on the 12th. her neck was already hurting her, but she was determined to make the trip. i think she knew it would be the last time she celebrated a birthday here on earth.
so many treasured moments. but not nearly enough.
lizzie lou, today, for you, we will eat chocolate chip cookie dough and watermelon. we will remember the delight in your eyes every time you celebrated another year, another moment. i can still see you dancing down the stairs, so happy and full of life. we love you so much sweetheart.
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you.
happy birthday, sweet elizabeth...
happy birthday to you...
Thursday, May 10, 2007 12:51 AM CDT
Saturday is Lizzie's birthday...she would have been 15 years old. Her friends are getting their learner's permit for driving...they have boyfriends...they are thinking of college. It is so unfair that she is not here to do all those things.
I went into labor with lizzie on mine and Joe's one year wedding anniversary. We ate our frozen year old wedding cake in between contractions. Twenty four hours later we were graced by our Sweet Elizabeth.
That was 15 years ago...how in the world??? The time just went too fast. In a blink of an eye, she was taken back into heaven.
My sister-in-law, Melissa, said that Lizzie was such a Sunday girl. She loved going to church, was always saying the rosary, always reading the bible, memorizing scripture. Although she was born on a Tuesday, she was always a Sunday girl. While Tuesday's Child is full of grace, which is so appropriate for Elizabeth, the fact that she went to heaven on a Sunday seems just as appropriate. I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and she told me that Catholics believe that the day we die is our new birth day...the day we are born into our new home, our new life. So, in that way, Elizabeth is now a Sunday's Child.
Sweet Elizabeth...we miss you so much. It will be the hardest thing yet to wake up on Saturday and not have you here. We will find a way to celebrate your beautiful life. We will find a way to show how grateful we are for that wonderful day God allowed us to have such a beautiful child. And while it was just way too short a time, and I am still mad at him for taking you back, I am so grateful that He trusted your daddy and I with you. You taught us so much in your short life. We are so blessed with sweet memories.
Light up those skies, sweetheart! I hope you have a great birthday bash up there!! We love you so...
Monday, May 7, 2007 11:02 AM CDT
WE DID IT!! SO MANY EMOTIONS, SO MUCH GRATITUDE...I am so grateful to my wonderful friends who trained with me, got me through my emotional and physical challenges, who ran with Lizzie in Mind...you guys were the wind beneath my wings. SO GRATEFUL for our families and friends that made the drive over to cheer us on...Mom and Rod from New Mexico, Jerry and Melissa and kids and Anna Mae and Wayne from Iowa, Shari, Sara, Jaci and Bridget from Kearney, you ALL were AWESOME cheerleaders!!! Other runners along the course began to look for these guys, they were so present along the way. Joe and Jessica, for being there along the path, and of course, Elvis, for your performance...again, people along the way received a big pick-me-up when they came over the hill at mile 10 and there was Elvis!
GRATEFUL to Molly to being with me every single step of the way, for singing "It's Raining Men" as the rain poured down on us, and for being such a part of my first Half-Marathon.
And so very GRATEFUL to my sweet Elizabeth...I felt you every step of the 13 miles. I know you were soaring along with us all, so happy to see the lime green shirts, the rainbow balloons and umbrellas, I know you felt the love of everyone there, sweet girl. I miss you, and I hope you know, honey, that your mama finally did it! I ran the race, just like we talked about. Love you honey...love you all so much...thanks to everyone, near and far, who got us across that finish line...
Mile by mile, LizzieStyle!
Wednesday, May 2, 2007 3:55 PM CDT
This is it...just four more days...Sunday is the Lincoln Half-Marathon. We will be running for our Sweet Elizabeth, for her dreams, her wishes, her struggles. We'll be "Running with Lizzie in Mind", and we'll run LizzieStrong. We'll be looking for rainbows and eagles along the way! Thank you, Lizziegirl, for inspiring us all to keep going through the hard times, for teaching us to reach for those stars. Thank you for leading us, and thank you for loving us. You are a fighter, and you have taught us all how to LiveStrong. Here's to you, Elizabeth, our sweet angel! Come fly with us, baby girl!!
"If you ask her why she is still running,
she'll tell you it makes her COMPLETE.
I run for HOPE.
I run to FEEL.
I run for the truth, for all that is real.
I run for your mother, your sister, your wife.
I run for you and me, my friend.
I run for LIFE.
Remember her..remember me...
We will be running as we have before,
Running for ANSWERS
Running for MORE.
I run for LIFE!" ~Melissa Etheredge
Monday, April 30, 2007 9:30 AM CDT
hi everyone...thanks for keeping lizziegirl and us in your thoughts yesterday...i think we all felt a little lost all day...we were all a little grumpy, a little edgy, a little sad. there were moments of peace, though...abby saw several butterflies, joe, jess and kaylie saw a rainbow. i am sure she was nearby, probably rolling her eyes saying, 'come on guys, quit being so unhappy!'
joe worked so hard yesterday - he has been working on taking down the ramp we had for lizzie, and he finished it yesterday. we planted our roses and made an official lizzie garden in the area she planted in last year. we have a total of 17 rose bushes! so funny, if you consider the fact that joe used to HATE rose bushes! before we realized the connection of roses and Mary, he couldn't stand the things. now we have them all over our front and back yard! i'm pretty sure miss lizzie is getting a good chuckle over that one!
at the end of the day we went to lizzie's park and sat with her for awhile. she has a new neighbor out there, and seeing the fresh cut grass and new flowers felt so sad, and reminded me once again that it has been 6 months since we were out there, choosing a spot for our daughter. now the grass is growing in over her fresh sod, making it even more permanent and real. i know, though, that with each day, her heavenly wings grow stronger and more beautiful. she is living strong.
have a great week, everyone...livestrong, lizziestyle!
Monday, April 30, 2007 9:30 AM CDT
hi everyone...thanks for keeping lizziegirl and us in your thoughts yesterday...i think we all felt a little lost all day...we were all a little grumpy, a little edgy, a little sad. there were moments of peace, though...abby saw several butterflies, joe, jess and kaylie saw a rainbow. i am sure she was nearby, probably rolling her eyes saying, 'come on guys, quit being so unhappy!'
joe worked so hard yesterday - he has been working on taking down the ramp we had for lizzie, and he finished it yesterday. we planted our roses and made an official lizzie garden in the area she planted in last year. we have a total of 17 rose bushes! so funny, if you consider the fact that joe used to HATE rose bushes! before we realized the connection of roses and Mary, he couldn't stand the things. now we have them all over our front and back yard! i'm pretty sure miss lizzie is getting a good chuckle over that one!
at the end of the day we went to lizzie's park and sat with her for awhile. she has a new neighbor out there, and seeing the fresh cut grass and new flowers felt so sad, and reminded me once again that it has been 6 months since we were out there, choosing a spot for our daughter. now the grass is growing in over her fresh sod, making it even more permanent and real. i know, though, that with each day, her heavenly wings grow stronger and more beautiful. she is living strong.
have a great week, everyone...livestrong, lizziestyle!
Thursday, April 26, 2007 4:50 PM CDT
Update: Saturday, April 28th
My Sweet Lizzie Lou...This time six months ago you started your journey into heaven...I remember the day you were born...you took your time coming into this world...24 hours of labor...just like when you went to your new life into heaven...just about the same time...hearing you talking to the angels...hearing you discover the rainbow, the bridge....so much like when you came into this world, you went out...except I couldn't wait for you to be born, and I dreaded the moment you would leave us...I miss you, honey, so much...I want you back, in our our lives...when I run, I feel you with me...when I struggle, I think of your struggles, when I run free, I think of you soaring...next Sunday we will run 13.1 miles for you...Molly and I, Eric, Laura and Trevor, Senae, we will all be running in your memory, for you...tomorrow we will plant roses in your honor, in loving memory...we will go to your park and sit with you...I love you, baby girl, so very much...hope your six months in heaven have been glorious...
Congrats to our niece, Shelby, who will celebrate her First Communion on Sunday...I know Lizzie is celebrating in heaven, Shelby!! We love you.
End of Update.
This Sunday will be the 29th, making it 6 months to the day that our sweet Lizzie flew away. I can't wrap my heart around the fact that it has been half a year since she took her last breath. There are days I still expect to come around the corner and find her sitting on the couch, waiting for me to join her in a 'Friends' marathon, asking for spaghetti or cookie dough.
In her honor I am posting some of her favorite scriptures and quotes. Here's to you, Sweet Elizabeth. You are missed dearly. I will be at your park on Sunday, and we will plant a rainbow of roses in your garden spot. Love you so, sweet girl...
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” -Matthew 6:34
“If you can?” said Jesus. “ Anything is possible for him who believes.” -Mark 9:23
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”-Romans 12:12
"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.” -Psalm 31:24
“The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?“ Psalm 27:1
“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30
"Rainbows would never be rainbows,
If sunshine had never met rain.
No one would ever need comfort,
If there was no sadness or pain.
But life holds both sunshine and showers,
the days aren't always bright and fair.
So look through the showers for the rainbows,
You'll always find hope shining there." -unknown
Fly high, sweet girl.
Friday, April 13, 2007 8:43 AM CDT
Three weeks from this Sunday, I, along with Molly and several other good friends from Kearney, will lace up my running shoes and run my first ever half-marathon.
Elizabeth's wish trip was in Chicago, a major spending spree at the American Girl Place. We happened to be there the weekend of the Chicago Marathon. We decided to drive over and watch the event. For me, it was a life-changing event. I had always been interested in running, thanks to my mama's influence. Watching those runners glide over all those miles, determination in their faces, sweat flying off their trained bodies, hours of running, thousands of participants, I caught the fever. I knew I would someday return to Chicago and be one of those runners.
I came home and started training. Elizabeth was my biggest champion. She was finished with chemo treatments, in remission, and knew what it meant to fight for something. She was telling me constantly that I could do it. When I would get back from a run, she was right there asking me how it went. She baby-sat her sisters so Joe could go with me on my long runs and be my coach. When I was sore and doubtful, she told me she believed in me.
In January 2003, I completed 8 miles, my longest distance yet. The following week we discovered that little Kaylie would be joining the Stratton family. Needless to say, all training stopped. Two months later, Lizzie's cancer markers began climbing, and we began the cancer battle all over again.
Last year we watched as Molly and Laura and Shari worked out their training plan for the Lincoln Half-Marathon and talked about their runs. Side by side, Lizzie and I began to dream once again about me doing the half-marathon with the girls someday. Once again, she became my champion, telling me I could do it, that she believed in me. Listening to Molly talk about the race and how she did it for Lizzie, that Lizzie got her through the tough parts, I once again caught the fever. I knew I wanted to run, someday. However, the only place I wanted to be right then was by Lizzie's side. We had our own daily marathons, racing through Gilmore Girls episodes and Friends series.
As a teenager, my mama was a huge influence on me. A single mom, working full time, she would come home from a long day of working as a counselor. She could easily have put on her jammies and tuned into the tv. Instead, she reached for her running shoes. I watched as she donned her workout gear, laced up her shoes, and headed out the door, either to the gym to pump iron or grabbed her bike and headed for the mountains. She always encouraged me to join her.
Now, as I train for the Lincoln Half, I feel Elizabeth's and mom's influence. As my weekly miles grow, my long runs become more challenging, I know Elizabeth is pulling me through those tough spots. When I grow tired and sore, I remember my mom coming home and lacing up those shoes. I remember Lizzie throwing her walker to the side because she knew she could walk without it.
If you are in the Lincoln/Omaha area, please consider coming and cheering us on. It will mean so much to us to see you on the side, knowing you are there in Lizziegirl's memory. We will have special balloons and bandanas for you to wave in the crowd to show your support.
The run will start and end at the University. Again, it is May 6th at 7 am.
This run is for you, Lizzie, and you, mom, and for all of you out there, fighting for something you believe in.
Sunday, April 22, 2007 6:13 PM CDT
We did it! It was brutal at times, but we kept Lizzie in mind and put one foot in front of the other - so slowly at times, but we kept going. I thought of Lizzie's struggles, of Eileen's battle, and fought through it. As Molly and I strode towards our finish line, we both felt Lizzie with us so strongly it brought us to tears. We felt something, a shift in the air, an unseen energy...she was there. Joe took video of us, and in the video, there is a rainbow. Of course. She was with us. No doubt.
Today I walked into church...ok, limped, into church, and there is Eileen. In church. Just had surgery. Just had chemo. And is in church. So very LizzieTough. Just like Lizziegirl, she was smiling and happy - no one at all would have guessed what her last 3 days, last 3 weeks, had held. I am so very proud of her. So in awe.
Thank you, Eileen, for keeping Lizziegirl's spirit alive. And thanks, Molly, for matching me step for step in this run. It means the world to me.
Lizziegirl, next week marks 6 months. Half a year. How in the world? We miss you so much. Thank you for staying close. Love you, baby girl...
Friday, April 20, 2007 11:57 AM CDT
Tomorrow our running group will run 12 miles. That will be my longest distance before the half-marathon on May 6th. I'm excited, nervous, and ready. I know somewhere above my angel will be soaring with me.
Yesterday a dear friend and faithful caringbridge reader started her first round of chemo. Throughout her entire ordeal she has remained LizzieStrong. Eileen, tomorrow's run is for you. You are beginning your journey, mapping out your own half-marathon of sorts. As I hit every mile marker I will think of you finishing every treatment. As I get stronger throughout the path, I will think of you becoming healthy and whole, stronger and stronger. Every time I get tired or sore you and Lizzie will get me through. And as I cross the finish line, I will picture you at the end of your treatment, not only a survivor, but a thriver. You are so LizzieTough - we love you dearly. Let me know when you run out of snacks, K??? :)
I also want to take just a second to mention our unsung hero...Joe has graciously taken on the "roll" of 'Domestique'. He rollerblades beside us during our long runs, carrying a backpack full of discarded gloves, shirts, energy gels, water bottles, and a slew of other things. As the miles increase, his backpack gets heavier and heavier. He's our one man support team. Lizzie got her toughness from her daddy, no doubt.
Thanks, Joe, for riding along beside us. We couldn't do it without you. You complete the team.
Here's to 12 miles!!
Friday, April 13, 2007 8:43 AM CDT
Three weeks from this Sunday, I, along with Molly and several other good friends from Kearney, will lace up my running shoes and run my first ever half-marathon.
Elizabeth's wish trip was in Chicago, a major spending spree at the American Girl Place. We happened to be there the weekend of the Chicago Marathon. We decided to drive over and watch the event. For me, it was a life-changing event. I had always been interested in running, thanks to my mama's influence. Watching those runners glide over all those miles, determination in their faces, sweat flying off their trained bodies, hours of running, thousands of participants, I caught the fever. I knew I would someday return to Chicago and be one of those runners.
I came home and started training. Elizabeth was my biggest champion. She was finished with chemo treatments, in remission, and knew what it meant to fight for something. She was telling me constantly that I could do it. When I would get back from a run, she was right there asking me how it went. She baby-sat her sisters so Joe could go with me on my long runs and be my coach. When I was sore and doubtful, she told me she believed in me.
In January 2003, I completed 8 miles, my longest distance yet. The following week we discovered that little Kaylie would be joining the Stratton family. Needless to say, all training stopped. Two months later, Lizzie's cancer markers began climbing, and we began the cancer battle all over again.
Last year we watched as Molly and Laura and Shari worked out their training plan for the Lincoln Half-Marathon and talked about their runs. Side by side, Lizzie and I began to dream once again about me doing the half-marathon with the girls someday. Once again, she became my champion, telling me I could do it, that she believed in me. Listening to Molly talk about the race and how she did it for Lizzie, that Lizzie got her through the tough parts, I once again caught the fever. I knew I wanted to run, someday. However, the only place I wanted to be right then was by Lizzie's side. We had our own daily marathons, racing through Gilmore Girls episodes and Friends series.
As a teenager, my mama was a huge influence on me. A single mom, working full time, she would come home from a long day of working as a counselor. She could easily have put on her jammies and tuned into the tv. Instead, she reached for her running shoes. I watched as she donned her workout gear, laced up her shoes, and headed out the door, either to the gym to pump iron or grabbed her bike and headed for the mountains. She always encouraged me to join her.
Now, as I train for the Lincoln Half, I feel Elizabeth's and mom's influence. As my weekly miles grow, my long runs become more challenging, I know Elizabeth is pulling me through those tough spots. When I grow tired and sore, I remember my mom coming home and lacing up those shoes. I remember Lizzie throwing her walker to the side because she knew she could walk without it.
If you are in the Lincoln/Omaha area, please consider coming and cheering us on. It will mean so much to us to see you on the side, knowing you are there in Lizziegirl's memory. We will have special balloons and bandanas for you to wave in the crowd to show your support.
The run will start and end at the University. Again, it is May 6th at 7 am.
This run is for you, Lizzie, and you, mom, and for all of you out there, fighting for something you believe in.
Monday, April 9, 2007 8:12 PM CDT
Thank you for all your uplifting messages. I am so glad Lizziegirl was felt by so many people this weekend. During Easter Mass Joe turned to me and said, "Can you feel her? I feel her. She is Here!" I, too, felt her presence. There was a change in the air, an energy to the room that shouted Lizziegirl. I know she was with us. It was bittersweet, yet so very good.
We went to Lizzie's Park and had a little visit, and then went to Molly's parent's house for an adult egg hunt (yes, adult egg hunt, with a trophy for the winner - huge fun, and VERY competitive!!) and Easter Dinner. It was so wonderful to be part of such an awesome family. We truly felt part of it and had such a good time. Except for the fact that Elzabeth was not with us, it was a wonderful day. We are blessed with wonderful friends, ones we consider family. I have a feeling Lizzie was dancing around, laughing, as the silly adults went charging after those eggs(Molly!!). We missed you, baby girl, so much. But we can just imagine what kind of celebration you had with Jesus. The ache is still there, no doubt. But we know you are with us, just in a different way now.
Have a wonderful week, everyone...LiveStrong, LizzieStyle!!
Friday, April 6, 2007 11:44 AM CDT
It's funny how our perspective on life has changed since Lizzie went to live with the angels...I was telling Kaylie that we were going to dye easter eggs this weekend. She gets this horrified look on her face and says, "Our easter eggs have to go to heaven?!?" I changed my wording to 'color' easter eggs, and convinced her that our eggs were not going to die.
Everywhere we go, Abby and Kaylie see rainbows. It may just be a combination of three colors, but they see a rainbow. In Abby and Kaylie's room a CD was laying on Abby's dresser. When the light hit it, it cast colors on her ceiling. Abby looked up and said, "A rainbow!! Hi Lizzie!!"
We see a bird and strain to see if it is an eagle. I bought spaghetti for dinner tonight and on the package is a red rose. Jessica said, "Mom, look! A rose on Lizzie's favorite food!!"
Everywhere we go, everything we do, we are seeking out signs that Lizziegirl is still with us. Everything is symbolic. I was writing to a friend yesterday about missing Lizzie and how I thought she was still nearby, and the song by Lonestar, "I'm already there" came on the radio....'take a look around...I'm the sunshine in your hair...the shadow on the ground...the whisper in the wind...I know, I'm in your prayers.' It felt like Lizzie was telling me, "Yes, mommy, I AM here. Just be still and feel me!" I hope so. A lifetime is just too long to go without having her with us.
As we face our first Easter without our Lizziegirl, we will be looking for the rainbows, the roses, the eagles. As we approach the miracle of Jesus rising from the dead, we will be still and listen for signs of Elizabeth, and we will believe.
Have a blessed Easter eveyone.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007 4:27 PM CDT
Thank you all so much for 'Livin' Life with Lizzie in Mind', on Sunday and every day. I had several people share their pictures and stories with us. It means so much to know that Lizzie's spirit still lives on in so many of you. We love to read about the plants you planted, the balloons you released, the yellow clothes you wore...all of it. Thank you, thank you.
We had a nice day. Hard at times, good at times. I'm glad it is behind us.
Thank you for all the beautiful yellow flowers and balloons. Judy, your yellow crane table runner arrived right on time. It is beautiful...thank you so much. Receiving all the gifts in Lizzie's memory brought a lot of warm, YELLOW sunshine to our day.
LiveStrong, everyone...LizzieStyle!
Lizziegirl, I hope all those balloons coming towards you made a beautiful site! We miss you, Sweet girl! Love you so much...Mama
Wednesday, March 28, 2007 11:18 AM CDT
Update: Saturday, March 31, 2007
We have had some people asking when we are planning on doing the balloon release on Sunday. It means so much to us that you want to do a balloon release in Lizzie's honor at the same time we are. Thank you for your unending support.
We are going to try and be at the cemetery around noon where we will sprinkle yellow rose petals around her grave. The actual balloon release will be done at a different location, at a place that Lizzie loved to run and play and hang out. Right now the plan is to do the release around 2:00 central time. Thank you for wanting to join us 'in spirit'. I know Elizabeth will delight in seeing all the yellow balloons reaching for heaven. Can't you just see her dancing among them? Can't you just hear her laughing as they float up towards her? Let's flood the skies for our Lizziegirl!!
LiveStrong, everyone, LizzieStyle...God bless.
End of update.
Five years ago our daughter was diagnosed with a rare cancer - a cancer so resistant to chemotherapy, radiation and surgery that it would eventually take her life. Elizabeth was 9 years old, almost 10, in the 4th grade when she was diagnosed. The day after Easter Joe and I took her in to the doctor's office. Her tummy was swollen, but we thought for sure it was baby fat. We truly thought we were overreacting, we just wanted to make sure everything was fine. Not once did I think it was cancer. We walked into the clinic at 8:oo in the morning. Ten hours later we admitted Elizabeth to Children's Hospital in Omaha. In a matter of hours, in a matter of seconds, in a heartbeat, our entire world changed. Our future took on a terrifying pattern of tumor removal, another tumor discovered.
Through it all, Elizabeth kept her chin up. With a sword in hand she battled fiercely, slaying tumor after tumor, smiling through the sickness, making friends with nurses and keeping her doctors on their toes. She laughed, she lived, she thrived. She said only once, "I'm tired of fighting, I'm ready to quit." That was October 28, 2006.
In all those years of battling, she turned every negative into a positive..."I have to be stuck in a hospital bed for 3 hours for a blood transfusion? Ok, bring on the movies and popcorn, everybody pile in bed with me and let's party!!...I'm going to lose my hair, again? Ok, let's go buy some cool bandanas, one in every color!...I have to have a 2 hour PET scan ON MY BIRTHDAY?? Ok, but we are going to Macaroni Grill afterwards, and I'm getting dessert!...I have to wear a halo?? Ok, can we decorate it?...Another surgery? Ok, let's do it...No more chemo? No cure? Ok, let's make the most of today!"
Instead of hating the day she was diagnosed, she borrowed Lance Armstrong's attitude and turned it into a day of celebration - a day of seizing every moment, of living every second. A day to say, "Look here, I may have cancer, but cancer does NOT have me!!"
I have been struggling with what to do this year, this first LiveStrong Day without our Lizziegirl. In her memory, in her honor, I felt like I should do something, have a way of marking the day, just like she did. The fact that it falls on a Sunday seems very significant. But every time I would start to plan something it just didn't feel right. It finally hit me this morning - the reason why I can't get anything planned. Seems very obvious now, but dear Unlce Jeff will be the first to tell you I am a little slow...
When Lizzie was alive, of course it was a day to celebrate. She was a survivor. She was with us, alive and happy. But she is not alive and happy anymore. The day that was once a symbol of hope is now the day that we discovered my baby girl had cancer, and that cancer killed her. Of course I don't want to mark that day anymore. Lizzie won't be here, wearing yellow, and that huge smile that lit up her eyes. She won't be here to remind us to LiveStrong.
So, in memory of our sweet girl, we will scatter yellow rose petals at her grave and have a quiet balloon release later in the afternoon. We will remember a young lady who taught so much to so many, and was taken from us way too soon. We will mourn the day cancer came into our lives.
I invite everyone to remember our Sweet Elizabeth on Sunday in your own way, and maybe do something special in her honor.
Words from Lizzie...
"Everyone who has heard those words...You have cancer...knows the heart-wrenching fear that follows. It is the most terrifying thing you could hear. The unknown. Cancer is like a huge monster...When I think about my journey, though, I think not only of the terrifying events, but also of the 'happy' times. For every bad memory, I can think of at least one good memory...I have learned from and grown from my journey..."
We love you, sweet girl. We miss you so.
Monday, March 26, 2007 8:29 AM CDT
Sweet Matty - we love you, angel boy. I know you are flying with my Lizziegirl, free and laughing, not worrying about cancer anymore.
Fly high, Matty. Fly high, but stay close...
Sunday, March 25, 2007 9:49 AM CDT
Way to go tri-cities!!! In two days, over $96,000 was raised for the St. Jude Radiothon!!! Thank you all so much!! We are one step closer to finding a cure. Because of all of you.
It's been 5 months since our sweet girl was taken from us. Taken by the beast called cancer. 5 months since she was robbed of her chance at life. 5 months since we have heard her sweet voice. A parent that was speaking during the fundraiser said that anyone who has said that time heals, has never lost a child. How true that is. The days just get harder and heavier. I've said it before, but it's like she has been on a very long trip and it's time to come home. Just time to come home, back to us.
Next Sunday is April 1st...a cruel twist of fate that her Carpe Diem Day happens to be on the day she died. I don't know what we are going to do to mark that day. It's so hard to think about having any kind of celebration.
To close with a happy note...Shari had her baby! Jake is a healthy, handsome little guy. Congrats, Ryan and Shari! You are so blessed, and so is Jake.
Tomorrow a good friend of ours and a faithful caringbridge reader will go in for surgery. Please keep her in your prayers...Lizziegirl, we need the results to show no cancer, we need those doctor's scratching their heads saying, huh, not sure what's going on, but it's all good!
We love you, Sweet Elizabeth. Sure could use an eagle-siting today, baby girl...
Thursday, March 22, 2007 8:10 AM CDT
In 2004 we participated in our 2nd St. Jude Radiothon. Scott and Billy interviewed Lizzie, and we went to the concert afterwards. It was that night that another gift was sent to us...Mr. Jimmy Weber was opening for Jolie that year. Once again, we were introduced to who would become a champion fighter in Lizzie's battle, and a lifelong friend.
Although Elizabeth never went to St. Jude's for treatment, her main oncologist once worked at there, gained knowledge and practice there, and continued to call on them for guidance throughout Lizzie's treatment. They do so much for children's cancer. Please tune in today to Hits 106 and Y102 to listen to life-changing testimonials. Be prepared to have your life changed...hearing those stories will truly change your perspective on life. For those not in the Kearney area, you can go to krny.com and click on St.Jude 2007.
It was also in 2004 when Jolie surprised Elizabeth by calling her onstage and performing with Jimmy a song for the first time...called Sweet Elizabeth. I wish you all could have experienced that moment. They sat down on the stage and as Jolie began singing those precious words, Lizzie looked into Jolie's eyes with such love...they both began to rock back and forth slowly...you have to understand, this was a complete surprise, Lizzie had never heard those words before, and they are such tender words, such a testomony to her life. It was amazing. I really believe that the audience melted away for a few minutes, that it was just Lizzie and Jolie. It was in the purest sense a love song. So beautiful...
Good luck to Scott and Billy, John and Gail, and all the other volunteers who will be at the mall today and tomorrow, bringing awareness and raising money. Thanks so much, guys, for all your hard work.
"Sweet Elizabeth...I have never felt more alive than when I'm by your side.
And with every breath I thank God for you, and God knows it's true,
that I've been blessed, because I've met His precious gift...Sweet Elizabeth..." ~Jolie Edwards
Lizziegirl, I miss you so much, honey. The days are just getting harder and harder. I want you back home with us. I want to hear your laughter, experience your smile, hold you in my arms. Stay close, baby. I need you so much.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007 8:11 AM CDT
It is St. Jude week here in Kearney. So many memories arise from this time...in 2002...I had never heard of St. Jude, or thought too much about childhood cancer. I woke up to my alarm set to Y102, and instead of music, a man's voice was telling me about his son who had battled cancer; a warrior who battled mightily, and who was now in heaven. With a heavy heart I listened to this man talk about how we had to find a cure for this beast called cancer, this beast who had taken his son, and so many others, and who wouldn't stop until we stopped it. I listened as he asked listeners to call in, donate money, help the fight. I turned off the radio with tears in my eyes, and a sadness I had never felt before. And a fear, mixed with gratitude that my 3 daughters were healthy. It was less than 2 weeks later that I learned that Lizzie had cancer. And that man on the radio - I would learn that his name is John, and that he and his wife would be our friends and guides through our own sad journey. Now our family knows far too much about St. Jude, and cancer, and battles.
And the next year, in 2003, that same man would ask if Lizzie would be the featured St. Jude Child. He invited our family to the concert that would be given after the radiothon. That night changed our lives. Lizzie was introduced to Tim Holcomb and got to go on stage and sing with him. And that was the night a little blond bombshell came into our lives...Tim was opening for Jolie Edwards. She wanted Lizzie to come onstage with her as well, and asked John to bring her backstage so they could meet each other first. Little did we know that that beautiful, talented blond would become one of Lizzie's best friends, and a dear friend to our whole family. And little did I know that that little blond would plant her cute little rear end on my husband's lap and sing an Elvis song to him! :)
Jolie would become a champion player in Lizzie's battle - coming to the clinic to sit with us as we recieved good news and bad news, laughed with us, cried with us. Asked Lizzie to introduce her at one of her performances for St. Jude, and sang at Lizzie's funeral.
We will always be grateful to John and Gail, and St. Jude, for introducing us to this wonderful friend, and for all the other wonderful friendships that have come from the radiothon. And we will continue to champion them through their fundraisers. Through them lives have been saved. However, we still need a cure. There are still too many children being diagnosed daily. There are still children facing countless surgeries to remove tumors, and there are still children losing the battle.
Please consider calling in March 22 and 23, or going onto the website, to donate. Anything you can give will help. You can go to krny.com for more information.
I have so many more memories and pictures from St. Jude radiothon concerts that I will continue to share this week. But for now, I have to get Kaylie ready for school. Have a great day. Thanks so much for checking in on us.
LiveStrong, LizzieStyle!!
Thursday, March 15, 2007 1:40 PM CDT
Calling all prayer warriors: it is with such a heavy heart that I ask for your help.
I have found out that a couple of friends here in the Kearney area have been diagnosed with cancer. One is a relapse, and has been told with treatment she has five years to live. She is a mother, a wife, a friend. And a fighter.
Another friend is new to cancer, and faces surgery soon. She is a mother, a grandmother, a friend. And a fighter.
These women were both loved by Lizziegirl, and I know she is up in heaven pulling some strings with the Big Guy. They have a battle ahead of them, but they are armed with LizzieStrength.
And Matty, sweet little Matty. He is just not doing well, and Sandra is having to walk through hell right now, making plans and thinking of things that no parent should ever, ever have to think about. We should never have to think about body bags, death certificates, caskets. Final goodbyes, last kisses, last breaths. Please stop by and tell her you are thinking of her...visit/matty...they have horrible days ahead of them, and knowing that people are out there helps.
Please keep these gladiators in your prayers, in your thoughts, in your hearts.
Cancer is becoming all to common. It strikes out at random, no one is safe. We have to do something. We have resources, we have money, we have intelligence. Why don't we have a cure????
Next week Y 102.3 will be hosting their annual St. Jude Radiothon. On March 22 & 23 they will be raising money and awareness for childhood cancer research. They will be on air and at the mall. There will also be a concert featuring two artists, one of which is Tim Holcomb, who invited Lizzie on stage to perform with him a few years ago when she was the St. Jude Child. If you are in the area, please consider tuning in to the radiothon and donating to the cause. So many children are battling right now. We have got to stop this monster. We need research. There isn't a lot of research being done specifically for childhood cancers. St. Jude is one of the leaders. Please show your support, and help out these kiddos. Our dear friends, John and Gail, who have an angel in heaven, work hard every year to bring this to the area. Let's help them out.
Lizziegirl, please be with all these people. We need you to storm heaven for them, honey. They need an angel like you to help them through these times. We love you, honey. You have taught so many people some important lessons - please continue to be with us all.
Visit krny.com for more information on the St. Jude Radiothon taking place in Kearney March 22 and 23, and caringbridge.org/visit/matty to give Matty's mom an uplifting message.
Thanks, everyone.
Livin' Life LizzieStyle...
Wednesday, March 14, 2007 2:00 PM CDT
Sitting here missing my Lizziegirl so much. Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I swear I heard her sweet voice call out "Mommmyyy!" and I saw an image of an eagle and rainbow. Oh, that sweet sound, how I ache to hear it again, every day. No matter where we go we seem to encounter rainbows or eagles or butterflies, or all three. I went to the chiropracter this morning, and since Abby and Kaylie are on spring break, they went with me. We walked into the room, and there on the wall is a picture of a huge eagle, arms spread out wide, and soaring. I don't know if I would have even seen it - I was too intimidated by the contraption the doctor was asking me to lay on - but Abby noticed it right away, and it felt like Lizzie was there with us.
And now, of course with St. Patty's day approaching, there are rainbows everywhere. At the YMCA last week Abby and Kaylie bought 2 rainbow slinkies, and on and on. I know Lizzie is everywhere, soaring close by, but it just isn't enough. I want my baby girl back.
I think physically we are all finally better. Jessica is back in school and in track now. She's putting those long legs (well, as long as they can be with Stratton genes in her!!) to work and plans on doing long distance running. She is doing great. This is her first week and she comes home sore and tired, but gets up and does it again the next day. Way to go, Jessie Rose!! Daddy and I are so proud of you!!!
As for myself, well, while Lizzie certainly didn't get her toughness from her mama, she must have gotten her unique health problems from me. I've been struggling with this ear infection, which finally cleared up, but my hearing still hasn't come back, so I went to an Ear/Nose/Throat doctor, and found out that half of my eardrum is gone. Just gone. So, if it doesn't regenerate in 2 months, we will discuss surgery. At least, that is what he thinks. I'm ok with the partial hearing thing. Like I said, Lizzie didn't get her toughness or bravery from her mama.
With April and May fast approaching, we are making plans for a few Lizzie events. For her Carpe Diem Day, April 1st, Molly had the idea of having a Yellow Balloon Release. We will post the time and more information as it gets closer.
Also, we are running the Lincoln Half-Marathon on May 6th in memory of our sweet girl. If you are in the area, we would love to have you come and line the streets with cheers and rainbow balloons. I will post more on that later, also, but please put that date on your calendar. It would mean so much to have you there to cheer us through those 13.2 miles!
Have a good week, everyone, and keep your eye to the sky for rainbows and eagles! You never know, it just might be an angel watching you!
Saturday, March 10, 2007 8:04 AM CST
Update: March 11, 2007 Congratulations, Jenny and family!!!! You had your baby!!! We are so, so happy for you!! And a girl! I have a feeling Angel Lizzie is dancing around Heaven right now!! We love you guys!! Cannot wait to see your newest family member!!!
end of update.
Lizzie was always one for a gathering. She loved nothing more than to have a bunch of friends over, hanging out, just being together. She was always looking for a reason for a party, and then, once she had the ok from Joe and I, set out to plan the best 'get-together' ever. She absolutely loved planning the menu, writing out lists for appetizers, desserts, the whole thing. Then the theme, and decorations, and party favors.
This time last year she was planning her Carpe Diem party. April 1st was Lizzie's Sieze the Day day, the day she was diagnosed with liver cancer. Instead of hating that day, she embraced it, and turned it into a reason to celebrate. Last year was her 4 year anniversary. She poured over the details, writing out the invitations herself, and the menu, and then we hit Hobby Lobby for decorations and party favors. Everything was LiveStrong yellow, and party favors were folded paper cranes that she made herself. Our dear sweet friends, Joy and Leesa, made their incredible Monster Cookies, which include m&m's. For Lizziegirl, they bought 4 pounds of the candy and sorted out just the yellow ones. Everyone wore yellow, and gathered around on that special day to celebrate the life of one incredible young woman. I can still see her in her yellow boa, yellow shirt that Molly helped her pick out at the mall, and the yellow roses in her halo. She was beautiful, and so happy to have family and friends around her, helping her celebrate her life.
That girl loved a party, she loved life, and she loved living.
I was on my way to Lizzie's Park yesterday, and a good friend stopped by unexpectedly as I was leaving. She asked if she could ride along with me, and I welcomed her company. It was a beautiful warm sunny day. The birds were singing and the sun warmed us as we sat on the grass by Lizzie's grave. We sat and talked for a long time, and laughed, and cried, discussed life, death, motherhood, and of course, Gilmore Girls. I needed that quiet friendship just then, that friend, that spot, that moment, more than I realized. I didn't realize it, but I think my little angel did, and doing what she always loved, gathered friends together to celebrate life. Thank you, Lizziegirl, for getting Jeannie over here yesterday.
As we get closer to April 1st, I am struggling with ways to celebrate that day, LizzieStyle. I know she would want us to do something. She would want yellow every where, and roses, and people. She would want celebrations, not sadness. I am going to need your help, Lizziegirl. It's going to be another tough day. Stay close, k, baby?
Tuesday, March 6, 2007 12:46 AM CST
hello everyone...thanks for all your messages. i think i am finally turning a corner, although i still can't hear out of my left ear. however, with hurricane kaylie in the house partial hearing loss is a blessing!!
now, though, poor jess is really sick. on one of our trips to see the doctor about our ear infections, we were strongly encouraged to get the flu shot. being terrified of needles, we both refused. guess we should have listened to him. jessie has the stomach flu complete with dry hacking heaves. she can't eat or drink, and i'm worried about dehydration.
on sunday kaylie had an alergic reaction to some walnuts - she broke out in hives and starting coughing and sneezing. she is still struggling through that. like i said, we are a fun bunch. i keep wondering what's around the corner, but my wise friend theresa told me not to ask. she's got a point.
on a happy note, we had a good weekend, despite a few obstacles. our dear friend, mr. jimmy weber, was in town with the Air Force Band. they performed saturday night, and after the concert he came over to our house for a visit. it was so nice to get to sit and talk to him. we hadn't seen him since he was out last fall to give lizzie a personal concert. he brought his guitar and gave joe some more lessons, and they both jammed to some bon jovi together. it was a great evening.
and then sunday...sundays are still so hard, will always be, i imagine. it's hard to go to the church where lizzie's funeral was held, and it's hard to go to the church where lizzie had her first communion, where she worshipped, and sang, and laughed, and believed. and it is so hard to worship on the day that she was taken from us. but we went, and father matt's sermon was exactly what we all needed to hear. he talked about how hard it is, and yet how important it is to believe God not just in the good, easy times, but the hard, horrible times as well. just because God feels out of reach doesn't mean he is. we just have to reach a little further sometimes.
we walked out of church feeling like lizzie had been there with us, and still missing her dearly, yet comforted.
and then, that afternoon, lizzie showed us that she is indeed still with us, still nearby. we just have to reach a little further now. three eagles payed us a visit, soaring above our house, circling, circling, just floating above our house. three eagles!! it felt like lizzie was saying, 'look guys, i'm here, and i brought friends!!'
oh, lizzie lou, it is so comforting to think that maybe, just maybe, you are the one responsible for all the eagles all of a sudden, that maybe you are still looking out for us, you just have a different view now. we miss you, sweetheart. we love you. keep soaring, darling girl. and keep close...
as our adopted daughters at kchs have stated in the guestbook, the stars took state!! congrats, girls, at being state champs!!! way to go!!
Thursday, March 1, 2007 3:51 PM CST
just wanted to do a quick update...i am still struggling with a this darn ear infection, too weak to get up and do much, so that leaves me with a lot of time to think...yes, jeff, a dangerous hobby. i know.
first of all, i want to say a big thanks to brenda marshall for bringing dinner last night, and molly tonight. and molly for picking abby up from school today because i was too dizzy to drive. and karyn, for keeping kaylie longer today so i could rest.
and hannah, for taking the girls to the pep rally last night. i hope they weren't too much trouble for you. and kailee, for your sweet messages and for bringing kaylie the teddy bear today. she loves it, and is playing with it right now.
and, now, for tyler. my sweet nephew. jeff asked me to give you a hard time, (shocked, anyone??) but i'm going to do something worse. i'm going to embarass the heck out of you...
first of all, yes, you are one handsome devil. you were an awfully cute young boy, too. i remember the summer when lizzie was just over a year old, and we were all at Grandma and Grandpa's farm, sitting on their covered front porch. just another one of those lazy summer days. lizzie was in nothing but a diaper, and had only been walking for a couple of months. i don't know how it started, or who started it, but i just remember that all of a sudden you and lizzie were racing around the picnic table. lizzie was holding onto her bottle, and as she drank from it, a little smile began peeking out around the top of it. you started getting a little closer, and so she also picked speed. before we knew it, you two were making fast circles round and round that table. and lizzie was giggling so hard, she could barely stay on her feet. oh, that laugh came out so crystal clear, so true. like a song. the twinkles in her eyes and yours mirrored each other. oh, how she loved her cousin tyler.
and then, as you both got older, and you would let her hang out with you in your room, listening to 'cool music'. you made her feel cool, and almost the same age.
and later, when she was in the hospital for a chemo treatment, and you and jeff would make the 2 hour drive from des moines. she was sick, losing her hair, her appetite, and that sparkle in her eyes. you walked in the room and plunked down on the hospital bed with her and, being your lovable, goofy self, got her to eat some, forget about the chemo, and brought that sparkle back into her eyes.
and, then, last summer, when she was trapped in that halo and wheelchair, hanging onto life by a thread, and you and andrea drove over to get her mind off things. and, being your lovable, goofy self, got her to forget her troubles for a little while, and brought that sparkle back into her eyes. remember those hats, and shoes, and sunglasses? bright pink and obnoxious if i remember right. and she laughed. that beautiful, crystal clear sound, so true. like a song.
yep, you are a handsome devil. lovable, goofy, and one fantastic cousin. thanks for making our lizziegirl laugh, so many times. for hanging out with her, for looking beyond the cancer, and for just being you.
good luck to the kchs girls, who are going to state this weekend. we won't be there to cheer you on, but i'm pretty sure a little angel will be dancin' around you.
Sunday, February 25, 2007 8:29 PM CST
hello, everyone...i've signed onto the website 3 times today, written a whole update, then erased it all. today marks 4 months since lizziegirl flew off into the sunrise, and i feel like i should say something, but nothing feels right. the fact is, we are all missing her so much. today's pain feels just as sharp as it did on that quiet early morning of october 29th. we miss our lizziegirl. like a sharp knife twisting oh-so-slowly, the pain gets worse by the day. we want her back. we cannot fathom any more days without her. we just want her back. in our lives, in our days, in our moments. we just want her back. our faith has been shattered, we are weak, and we hurt.
thank you for all your wonderful messages. we are all slowly getting better - i'm pretty sure abby will go to school tomorrow, not sure about jess yet, and hopefully by tuesday i will be back on the treadmill, perhaps at a turtle's pace, but back.
as for my sexy nurse, he has been wonderful, taking care of us all without question or complaint. and nancy, he wants you to know, it's just jeff's insecurities coming out - he's used to it...he's been dealing with it all his life...
please stop by jake's website (ne/jakieboy). his mama, kellie, has some startling facts for everyone, something we should all be aware of. if she has updated, please take a moment to go back into the journal history.
have a good week, everyone...livestrong, lizziestyle!
Thursday, February 22, 2007 8:55 AM CST
We are a very fun bunch over here at the Stratton household. I am still sick - I've been to the doctor's twice, on two different strong antibiotics and painkillers for an ear infection. I also have jaw issues and have to go see the dentist. Jessica also has an ear infection and this morning Abby woke up with swollen glands. Poor Joe, he has been running around taking care of us, pulling double duty, taking time off from work to cater to his girls. I have to say, I think he missed his calling. He makes a spectacular, not to mention sexy, nurse!
Thank you, Shari, for the chicken noodle soup! It was exactly what we needed. And we loved the rainbow cookie! It's so pretty, we can't bear to cut into it!
Our doctor said he wasn't at all surprised to see us in his office. He says this is a normal course of grieving; our bodies are tired from all the emotions and will eventually ask for a break, one way or another. Soooo, here we are.
With all this time to lay around thinking, I have been doing a lot of that concerning Lizziegirl. I've been stuck in bed for 2 weeks. I have felt so frustrated because I am supposed to be training for a big run this spring. Not to mention that Joe has had to take off all this time from work. I can't help with the cooking, cleaning, child care, nothing. If I get up, pain goes shooting through my ear into my jaw. So I have been in bed. Knowing that soon the medicine will kick in, the infection will go away, and I will be running the household, and the training miles, once again.
Lizzie was stuck in bed (or the couch) for 4 months. She didn't have a choice. She just physically could not get up and walk away. Each day brought more pain, and no amount of medicine was going to take it away. And yet, she smiled. She lived. I stand here in awe of this young lady. This picture on the website was taken 20 days after she wrote in her journal that she felt her journey was almost over. And yet, if you look in her eyes, she looks so happy. At peace.
"I just pray to GOd that when my time comes, I will be enfolded in His arms of love and peace, and comfort, and remember no more...I also pray He will protect my family from depression and sorrow, and help mend their faith and love in one another. God, please hear my prayers..." ~Lizzie
Oh, Lizziegirl, we miss you so much. So very much. You were such a teacher all your life, and you continue to teach us. We love you, baby girl...mama
Saturday, February 17, 2007 8:07 AM CST
Last Saturday, when we were in Denver, we went to Old Chicago for lunch. We walked up to our table and noticed a circular rainbow with a cross in the middle of it on the table. Looking up, we saw the reflection came from a stained glass window above the booth. It was beautiful, breathtaking. We looked around and realized that ours was the only booth with a stained glass window above it. In fact, it was the only stained glass window in the restaurant. After we had ordered we noticed that our rainbow was starting to fade, so we grabbed the camera and took a few pictures, but it was too late. We took a picture of the window instead (the picture above) and felt grateful that we had been at the right place at the right time and were able to see the beautiful reflection that we felt was placed there by a very special angel.
That evening was the wedding, and for some reason, walking into the room decorated with candles, soft music playing, people dressed up, I felt incredibly overwhelmed with emotions. I was missing Lizzie, wishing so badly that she was there to see Charis and Jim get married. After they exchanged vows and were greeting people, we stood back and watched Charis allow Jess, Abby and Kaylie to cut in line and receive a huge hug. When Charis bent over and took Jess in her arms, something snapped in me - Lizzie missed it. Lizzie was not there. I started crying and ran out of the room. Nice, huh?? A room full of happy people, and who is that crazy lady crying? Anyway, I got myself under control, gave Charis a big hug, and we all found a table and sat down. Joe went out to the van to get our gift, and he came back in and told us to get to the window.
There, shining down on the church, on us, on Charis and Jim, was a...you got it...a rainbow! Just this streak of color, right there. Our Sweet LizzieLou letting us know she was there, she had seen it, and she was still close by.
And then...driving home...Joe hollers, 'get the camera' and comes to a screeching stop on the side of the interstate. There, right there, is an eagle. It turned and looked at us a couple of times, then spread it's wings and soared away.
Thank you, Miss Lizzie, for letting us know you are still watching out for us. We are lost without you, but always feel lighter when you show us your free, lively spirit. Love you, baby girl.
Thursday, February 15, 2007 10:09 AM CST
hello...sorry i haven't updated in a while...i am battling a sinus/ear infection and have slept the past 3 days. Joe, my hero, has been Super-Daddy, taking on the role of taxi driver, chef, maid, mom, dad, nurse and possibly 'Dora' (or maybe Diego) so I can sleep. I want to share the stories of our trip, but am just not up to it just yet.
Thanks for checking in on us. LiveStrong, LizzieStyle!!
Sunday, February 11, 2007 10:14 AM CST
update: monday, 8:00 pm
we are home. thanks for all your prayers for marty. they were going to let him go home tonight. his spine is chipped, not fractured, and his shoulder's are fractured. he is in a brace, but will not require surgery.
marty is one year and 2 days older than lizzie. he is very lucky to be alive. he won't be playing hockey any more this season, or snowboarding, but he is alive. thanks again for all your messages. they mean so much to us.
end of update.
update: monday, february 12
my nephew, wayne's son, marty, was taken to the emergency room last night. he was injured in a snowboarding accident. he is at a level 1 trauma hospital here in denver, and he has a fracture in his spine and shoulders. we are waiting on more news. please keep him and wayne in your prayers.
end of update.
hello, everyone...we are having a wonderful time. the wedding was so beautiful - a lovely ceremony, and charis was a gorgeous bride. she asked jess to dance, and they were quickly joined by abby and kaylie. kaylie, following closely in her big sister lizzie's footsteps, was the ultimate dancing queen. she danced every single dance, and had a few moves that captured the attention of many.
it has been hard to not have lizziegirl with us. she should have been there to celebrate. she was so happy when charis got engaged. however, we have no doubt that lizzie is letting us know that she is nearby. we have had many lizzie sitings. driving down here we saw several eagles. then the gift shop in the hotel we are staying at seems to feature eagles - they have eagle t-shirts, stuffed animals and statues.
i have more stories i want to share. we have witnessed a couple of unusual rainbows. we can just feel our lizziegirl's presence. it's not nearly enough, but at least we have that.
but i better go get ready for the day. we are planning a day of play, and then we are going to go hang out with the newlyweds for a little while. i will update more when we get home.
today is my brother wayne's birthday. happy birthday, big brother!! love ya!
thanks for checking in.
Monday, February 5, 2007 9:52 AM CST
Update: Matty received devastating news. Sweet Matty, only 7 years old. Cancer really, truly sucks.
Please pray for Matty and his family. Pray for understanding, for peace, for time. Precious time.
I feel a new wave of anger, of sadness, all over again. Somehow, we just have to find a way to beat cancer, to stop this horrible beast, before it takes any more children.
end of update.
I am pretty sure my little angel is flying furiously around me right now demanding I take this picture off her website...but I couldn't help put it on...isn't she so adorable??? That look in her eyes, knowing she was doing something she shouldn't but almost challenging someone to catch her. That never changed - she was always mischievious, always teasing...always had that wonderful twinkle in her chocolate-drop eyes.
We will be heading to Denver on Friday to attend Charis and Jim's wedding on Saturday. Charis was Elizabeth's student nurse in 2003, and like everybody else, one day with Lizzie and she was hooked. Now she is our dear, sweet friend, and we love Jim just as much and can't wait to see them get married. But I will never forget that day we met Charis...I was pregnant with Kaylie, and after sleeping on the lovely hospital cot, with Joe, I was not feeling my best...yes, grouchy, ugly, fat, you know how it goes...I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day, and I could hear our new nurses come into the room. I could hear two chipper voices talking to Lizzie and Joe, animated and lively. Lizzie was laughing, Joe was laughing, and I was in the bathroom, fuming at my expanding waistline, horrible hairdo, and swollen feet. In my hormonal state, I just KNEW those nurses were flirting with my husband. Yes, those cute, young, thin, laughing nurses were making a play for Joe. I came out of the bathroom and very grumpily met them, and after they left made a rude comment about how they stayed in the room just a little too long, they were a little too loud. After all, this was a hospital, surely they had other patients to see, and it was early in the morning, they should have been sensitive to the fact that some people were still sleeping. Well, did I ever get a scolding from Lizzie. She was very taken with the student nurse and informed that she was very nice and they were just doing their job!!
It didn't take long for me to see that she was, once again, right. That student nurse became very devoted to her little patient - coming into the room on her breaks to play a round of Phase 10, or to fold a couple of paper cranes. And when she graduated from nursing school and became an oncology nurse at the Lied Center, she would visit Lizzie on her days off, or after work. She would always greet Lizzie with a smile and hug first, and then check to make sure the nurses were doing everything right, and if they weren't - look out - she made sure that changed! Always looking out for our Lizziegirl.
When Charis was still in school and Lizzie was attempting to fold 1000 paper cranes, Charis would take paper and pass it around to her friends during class, and instead of taking notes, they would fold cranes! I can still remember her bringing Lizzie the cranes they had folded - Lizzie was careful to thank her first, but then delivered a lecture herself on how Charis should really have been paying attention to her teacher instead of folding paper!! That's our Lizziegirl - always keeping people in line! I can only imagine how she is running heaven now. Only Lizzie would get away with lecturing Jesus...and somehow, she would be right, and He would listen!
Now we continue to be blessed with Charis and Jim's friendship. And I just know Lizziegirl will be there on Saturday, dancing around as they exchange vows.
Please keep Matty in your prayers today - he is at the doctor's and is in need of good news. He and his family have traveled a hard road, and they need a miracle. Please pray for that miracle. (visit/matty)
Thursday, February 1, 2007 2:36 PM CST
i heard on the radio this morning the release date for the next harry potter movie or book - i'm not sure which one they said - i was taken by surprise. it felt like somebody had taken ice and poured it into my heart, into my veins. lizzie was a huge, i mean, huge, hp fan. she began reading the books in the 3rd grade, not just once, or twice, but dozens of times. she begged joe, jessica and i to read them with her so we could discuss the chapters. and then, of course, the whole time we would read it, she would constantly question us...daddy, what chapter are you on?? daddy, did you read the part yet where harry...mommy, have you started the 3rd book yet?? and her friends, sara and kaitlyn, who were equally obsessed, went to all the movies together, usually more than once if we let them. it seems like a couple of movies came out in november, when granny and papa were here for thanksgiving, and they went to a few of the movies with lizzegirl as well. anyone who would listen would get the latest summary on the what was going on in harry potters world.
ironically, it would be the last movie elizabeth would ever watch. that horrible saturday, when she was in so much pain, and we were waiting on the morphine pump to be delivered...we had all cried our goodbyes and were gathered around her bed...all the uncles, grandma and grandpa, molly, jill, they all took turns soothing jess, abby and kaylie, sneaking in to tell lizzie they loved her one more time...lizzie was in so much pain, begging to be let go, and somebody suggested we turn the tv on, a distraction was so desperately needed. harry potter filled the screen...it was the featured film of the night. lizzie didn't have the strength to watch it, but we turned it up and she listened to it. about that time the pump arrived, and she settled into the movie and was finally able to relax. how very fitting that movie came on, that lizzie was able to watch parts of it a final time...
somehow it just doesn't seem right that a new book or movie be released now. how can a new version come out without lizzie here to get excited about it? it should just all stop, right? no more...the end.
oh, lizzigirl...some days are so much harder than the others...i miss you so much.
Monday, January 29, 2007 9:06 AM CST
thank you all for your thoughts on heaven. and for keeping lizziegirl in mind yesterday, and today. like anisa said, it is so hard to believe it has only been 3 months, and it is hard to believe it's already been 3 months. it feels like she was just here, that if i walk into the living room she will be on the couch, waiting for me, and will greet me with 'Mommy!!' in that sweet voice, with that sweet smile. and yet, the past 3 months have been a whole lifetime without our sweet girl. so hard. so unimaginable. how can she not be a part of our lives anymore? how can she not sit down to dinner with us, or fight with her sisters, or hog the popcorn bowl? or sing a lullaby to kaylie, or read to abby and giggle with jessica? or give joe a hard time, with that twinkle in her chocolate-drop eyes? it just isn't right.
last friday i was trying to explain to kaylie a saying, and of course i can't remember what the saying was, but she was taking it literally, and i was telling her that some things aren't meant to be taken like that, that they mean something else. all of this to a 3 year old, who, granted, is incredibly smart, gifted even :}, but just wasn't getting it. everything to a 3 year old is literal. and trying to explain it otherwise is very hard to do. she just looked at me like i had really lost it, and these days i tend to agree with that, so i dropped the subject.
i was explaining this conversation with joe, and in his infinite wisdom, said, perhaps, to god, we are like 3 year olds...maybe it is hard for us to really comprehend heaven, and eternity, and the afterlife. so he explains it in a way that we can grasp, but that explanation might not be the full story, because we are just not capable of that level of understanding.
wow - lightbulb moment...or as oprah would say, i had my 'a-ha' moment. to god we are toddlers, learning how to take on our world one step at a time, advancing our learning as we mature. but only in heaven will we be able to fully comprehend what it is really all about. kaylie has much to learn in this world, but can only learn so much at a time, and only after learning basic steps first, then building on that knowledge. that is what we are doing, learning the basics, and then building on that knowledge, adding more levels, until we are finally able to understand it all.
joe, you are amazing. thank you for making it all make sense, like you always do. love you.
thank you for all the comments on the headstone. i've had a lot of requests for more details, so i will post some more pictures. thanks for wanting to know.
have a wonderful week...
Friday, January 26, 2007 8:10 AM CST
as sunday approaches, marking 3 long months since sweet elizabeth's spirit left and flew away to heaven, i've been thinking more and more about heaven. are it's streets really paved with gold? are there really golden gates marking it's entrance? is it one specific place, or is it everywhere? i've been reading and researching, and there are of course so many thoughts on it. and the answer almost always ends up, we don't really know, but we will someday.
i wonder, too, what a day in heaven is like. our lives here are so structured - get up, have breakfast, go to work/school, lunch, chores, tv, hobbies, supper, bedtime. monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday. 12 hour days. 14 hour days. vacations or breaks in between, but basically we stick to a similiar, familiar format, from sun up to sun down. what do they do in heaven? does elizabeth and all the other little angels have to be in bed at a certain time? does mary come in at 9:30 and say, ok, sweeties...lights out...do they have heavenly beds? do they need to sleep? eat? do they play? or spend their entire days praying, or bringing other spirits home? do they have days, or do days and nights exist together? what is elizabeth doing right now, right this very moment?
so many questions. parents everywhere usually have a pretty good idea of what their children are doing for most of their waking hours. i don't know what elizabeth's days are like anymore. joe and i had to surrender that knowledge to god, and i don't like it. i want to know she is well fed, and rested, and happy. i want to know what her days are like, what her moments are filled with.
today molly and i are taking our girls to lizzie's park to build snowmen and create snow angels for lizziegirl. we are all struggling a little more than usual this week, and this feels like a way to be close to lizzie. i will take pictures and post them later.
i have a favor to ask of you all. last year when lizzie requested verses and quotes from her caringbridge family, you all were so wonderful and supportive, sending her so many beautiful ones. she put them all into two beautiful scrapbooks, and they brought her much comfort and joy. however, we never finished the second volume. so now, i turn to you. any verses, or quotes, on heaven, that you would be willing to post, i will use to finish her book.
once again, thank you so much for all the prayers for wayne. he had a rough day yesterday - he has an infection in his arm where they put a central line in, and his other arm has a blood clot from all the times they tried to insert a needle into his veins. he was feeling pretty bad yesterday. but other than that, he seems to be recovering from the surgery and is anxious to get back to work.
have a wonderful weekend. and if you think of it, maybe do something special in memory of our angel on sunday...god bless you all...
Monday, January 22, 2007 8:16 AM CST
Tuesday...update on Wayne:
8:00 hello everyone...wayne is out of surgery and everything went very well!! they were able to remove his thyroid, and do the biopsy, and from what they can tell so far, the mass is NOT CANCEROUS! He is in recovery now and will be moved to a regular floor soon.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for checking in on us, and for all the prayers. We really appreciate it. God bless you all...
end of update.
2:00 they just took wayne in for surgery. he still isn't stable, but his thryoid is getting so large that it is putting him at risk for stroke or heart attack. the doctors feel that it is riskier to wait than it is to go ahead with surgery.
this is a risky procedure, in part because of his blood pressure and heart rate. they will also try to do the biopsy at the same time. please, please pray for my brother. pray that his body is able to handle the surgery, that his heart rate doesn't go any lower, that they are able to remove his thryoid, do the biopsy, and that he gets through it all with strength.
end of update.
1:30 He was not able to have surgery as planned this morning...last night his blood pressure spiked and his heart rate slowed way down. He was moved into another room so they could moniter his heart rate, and won't do surgery until he is his heart rate is normal.
Thank you for all the continued prayers. God bless...
End of update.
Last night we ran into our friend, Lanny, and it reminded me of this story...
Lanny runs a car dealership with his partner, Tim. We had just bought a van from them, but it hadn't come with a cd player, so Lanny was going to install one for us. Lizzie and I took the van to the car lot, and Tim told us it wouldn't take long, if we wanted to just wait. We decided we would, and started wandering around the cars. Lizzie's favorite color was lime green, and she always dreamed of owning a convertable volkswagen bug in that color when she was finally old enough to drive. There in the lot was a lime green bug. She let out a cute squeal and ran over to it. Tim caught us peeking in the windows and told us the door was open, go ahead, sit in it! Oh, Lizzie about burst! She threw the door open and climbed in, pretending to drive it. Bless Tim's sweet heart, he saw the joy in her eyes, and knowing we were not there to buy that car, he walked over to me and handed me the keys and said those magical words..."Why don't you take her for a spin?"
Lizzie's mouth hit her shoes, and she all but threw me in the car. Oh, she was so excited - all giggles and oh my goshes and oh I want one of these!!!! and can you believe we get to go for a drive, mom???
We did indeed take that baby out for a spin...we hit Highway 30 gleefully, opened the sunroof, cranked the radio, and lived LizzieStyle for several glorious miles. I wish I could have captured the joy that filled that car. Lizzie's eyes twinkled, her laugh competed and won with the blaring music, and I saw a glimpse of the teenager who might have been, behind the wheel of her first car. Although I was the one who was driving, she might as well have been - she absolutely loved every minute of that ride. What a wonderful day. Thank you, Tim. I don't think you realized what a gift you gave my baby girl that day, what a precious memory you handed me. Thank you.
Wayne will have surgery tomorrow morning. The plan is to remove his thyroid - it is getting dangerously large - and if possible do the biopsy at the same time. Lots of prayers, please.
Sweet Elizabeth - we are nearing the 3 month mark of the day you soared to heaven. I miss you so much, sweetheart. I just want you back home. Daddy got up early to shovel the driveway yesterday morning, and he watched the sun rise as he did it. It seems you were with him, as he saw many rainbows in the snowy dawn. Thank you, sweetheart. Remember how you used to hear him outside and quickly get dressed and go out and keep him company? You were always so good at that - keep at it now, honey. Stay close, and keep us company. We love you...mama
Thursday, January 18, 2007 2:10 PM CST
Good news! Wayne's white count is up! It was at zero, needed to be 500 before the doctors would do the biopsy. Today it is at 600! So now the next step will be to get the biopsy scheduled - will probably be next week now before they can do it. I will keep you posted. Thank you for all your prayers.
I've been thinking about what Jolie wrote about Lizzie and pasta - the girl did love her pasta! Everytime we would be in Omaha for a doctor's appointment, we had to go to Macaroni Grill for lunch, and she would get the 'make-your-own-pasta'. Joe always offered to split it with her, and she would almost always eat the whole helping! Joe would be left with a few bites and the bread! Even Dr. A and Anisa would tease Lizzie about her love for pasta.
At home, when asked what she wanted for supper, or lunch, she would say, 'Spaghetti'. And then she started eating it for breakfast. One time when Grannie was here, she was heating some up for Lizzie's breakfast, and mistook some homemade salsa for spaghetti sauce. Elizabeth took one bite and about spit it right back out at Grannie!
And of course, there is Molly's spaghetti. Whenever Molly and Eric would have us out for dinner, Molly asked Lizzie what she wanted to eat - and it was, of course, 'spaghetti'! It got to the point where I was accusing Molly of only being able to cook the one dish...and Lizzie would scold me and tell me to be nice. Always the adult, and always looking for the next pasta meal.
This past summer we started eating the boxed Kraft spaghetti. In fact, that is what we were after when we made our field trip up to the grocery store last fall- Lizzie in her wheelchair and me huffing and puffing our way home with the torn bags. It was after school, and I asked her what she wanted for lunch, and of course, it was spaghetti! I told her we didn't have any, and jokingly said, we could walk to the grocery store and buy some. "OK", came the instant rely. I will never forget the way we giggled our way up to the store, and giggled our way back. Anything for spaghetti...anything for my Lizziegirl. It was the best spaghetti I will ever eat in my entire lifetime.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007 7:56 AM CST
"From the beginning, we're all looking for a happy ending..." -Sugarland
"I can't stop you...you're a wheel all ready rolling. I can't keep you...you're a bird on a wire, you're about to fly..." -Jolie Edwards
These two songs keep swirling around my heart. Even though Lizzie suffered so much her last few months, and certainly her last few weeks and days, when Heaven opened it's doors to welcome her in, her ending here on earth really did seem like a happy ending for her. I can still hear her voice saying, 'Wow, oh wow. Look at the rainbow.'
There was something else about that night, something I had forgotten until Jeff reminded me (I am forever grateful he was in the room that night). As Elizabeth was talking about making it to the top of the rainbow, she started talking to another soon-to-be angel - encouraging this little one to come with her, reasurring her it would be all right. Even as she was new to her own wings, she was already helping someone else. That is just so like her..."I can't keep you, you're a bird on a wire, you're about to fly..." It does seem like she was ready to fly, ready to spread those wings and soar. So even though our arms ache to hold her, our hearts ache to hear her sweet laughter, I try to remind myself that she did indeed seem born to fly.
Today I am struggling, missing my Lizziegirl so much. This pain is so raw, so unyielding. I could see in Joe's eyes last night he was in the same place. It's odd how you can go along fairly strong, and then out of nowhere, it feels like she just left, and we are saying goodbye all over again. We just want our Sweet Elizabeth back.
I talked to Wayne yesterday. His white count is just not moving. He is taking Neupogen shots, but so far they aren't helping. As soon as his white count is up to 500, they will go ahead with the biopsy. He is restless and worried about his job. Please keep him in your prayers. The guy really deserves a break.
Sunday, January 14, 2007 6:12 PM CST
thanks so much for all the encouraging thoughts...
we had a wonderful weekend. friday we were blessed with a new friendship - one that was sent by an angel, i believe. we had dinner with sue and monty fread, their son, kalan, was a friend of lizzie's and is a freshman at kchs. this family is so wonderful, and we had such a good time with them. they had invited a good friend of theirs to dinner as well. this woman is the pillar of strength and grace, and i feel blessed to have met her. she lost her teenage son tragically and very suddenly to a car wreck 7 years ago. she never got to say goodbye, and actually came upon the crash. if this isn't enough to bring one to their knees, 2 years ago her husband passed away, from cancer. her son and her husband, within 5 years of each other. she has every reason to give up on life, every reason to pull the covers up over her head and stay there. instead she seemed strong, confident, faithful. she told joe and i to believe in all of our lizzie signs, that they are real. she also told us that it does get better.
we have been told that before. but hearing it from this woman, who had been through a terrible storm, not once, but twice, who is still looking for the rainbows, the sunshine, despite the destruction, somehow drove the truth a little deeper into my soul. i'll never forget looking into her eyes and seeing, no, feeling, a truth i haven't felt in a while. thank you, lizzie, for leading us to this wonderful woman. and thanks, fread's, for a night that was truly a gift.
and then saturday, our jolie and family drove over to kearney! it was so so so good to see them all...this is the first time we've seen them since the funeral...we took them to lizzie's park; it was cold and snowing, the wind was blowing. there we were, huddled around the gravesite. such a sad moment. yet i know lizzie was dancing around us, so happy that our families were together. we came back home and molly and her family joined us for dinner, and again, i could feel lizzie dancing and skipping around us, so joyful and happy that her two special girls, jolie and molly, were with her family.
jolie and marty were supposed to come over a couple of weeks ago, and at the last minute had to reschedule, so when reports of a snowstorm started to litter the radio broadcasts, we were all a little anxious. even as the edwards were leaving town, snow was falling and the roads were a little slick, and marty was having doubts about the trip. then he looks up, and there is an eagle, soaring above them, telling them to get to kearney!! and we are so glad they did. it felt like another healing step to have them here, to remember, to cry, and to laugh.
lizziegirl, you are missed, so much, sweetheart. you have touched so many people, and we all love you so much. there will always be an empty spot in our hearts, in our lives without you.
thanks so much for all the prayers for wayne. mom's doing a great job of keeping everyone updated, but i'll let you know what happens this week if she doesn't. god bless you all - have a wonderful week...sami
Friday, January 12, 2007 8:30 AM CST
In my doubt, and struggles, I did what my wise daughter did when she doubted, during her struggles...I turned to scripture.
According to dictionary.com, prayer is "a devout petition to God".
According to the bible, prayer is
"pouring out the soul before the Lord." -1 Samuel 1:15
"converse of the soul with God" -Easton's 1897 Bible Dictionary
..."drawing near to God" -Psalm 73:28
I'm trying...I'm just not nearly as wise and strong as the angel on my shoulder. But I do believe, I do have faith. I'm trying...
Thursday, January 11, 2007 12:51 AM CST
Wayne is still running a fever, still weak. His white cell count is dangerously low - he has to wear a mask if there is any outside contact. From what the doctors can tell, the medicine he was on for his thyroid may have caused the pnuemonia. Apparently with this lovely medication there is a 1 in 2000 chance it could kill him. Nice. The doctors failed to tell him that when they put him on it. Can you say 'lawsuit'??? However, another complicating factor is he has had Crohn's Disease for years and has been on medication for that, which may have caused the thyroid problem, of could be the culprit for the problems he is currently having. Basically, his body is weak. And the medicine seems to be the enemy.
They won't do the biopsy until the pneumonia is gone. I don't know if I believe in praying anymore - didn't get Lizzie too far, but I don't know what else to ask for...positive thoughts? A miracle? A lining up of some magical stars in the universe?? I don't know. I am just so tired of watching the people I love hurt.
Sweet Elizabeth - baby girl, if you have any pull - your Uncle Wayne sure needs healing. I hope you can let him know that he is loved, that there are so many people waiting to make sure he is ok. Love you honey. Miss you so much I ache.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007 8:20 AM CST
update: thank you for all your thoughts. nothing much has changed...wayne still has a fever - he has pneumonia and is too weak for the biopsy so that has been postponed. the hospital he is in is so full he isn't able to be in a room - he is still in the er. When i have more info I will post it.
i just want to say, we appreciate our caringbridge family so much. even though lizzie is no longer with us, you still check in on us, still care, still pray. thank you. i knew if i posted about my brother, you would circle around us, just like you did. it means so much. thank you. thank you.
end of update..........................................
My brother was taken to the ER last night with a high fever and problems breathing. He was set for surgery today, a needle biopsy. He has a mass the size of a walnut near his heart. After he was taken in last night, some more scans were run and another mass was found in his lungs. Please keep him in your prayers. And my parents. They lost a daughter 13 years ago, a granddaughter 2 1/2 months ago, and now this. It is just too much.
Lizziegirl, please watch over your Uncle Wayne. Take care of him, sweet girl.
Sunday, January 7, 2007 12:16 AM CST
Update: Please pray for Angel Mia's family. On Saturday they said goodbye to their sweet girl, to the same horrible cancer Lizzie had. It breaks my heart to read about her struggles. Her family really needs your prayers now. Please stop by and offer words of comfort to this family. visit/princessmia
Another family to keep in your prayers - their son Matty also has hepatoblastoma. They could use some positive thoughts their way...visit/matty
There are just too many precious children hurting, struggling. So very hard to understand. As you go about your day, remember how very blessed you are for every second you have healthy children. It is a true gift, one that can be lost in the shuffle of life...
end of update.
Hello everyone! I finally found my way to a computer!! We have missed reading your messages every day. We are out at Johnson Lake right now with our good friends and neighbors, Ron and Kathy. And bless their souls, they have internet! :>
We came out here to relax do some eagle watching, and we were not disappointed. Big, beautiful, graceful eagles are soaring all around. Our other neighbor and good friend, Joy, also came and brought her nice camera, so I will post pictures later as soon as I have them from her.
This has already been posted in various forms, and Molly talked about it at the Vigil, but I want to tell it again...
As you know, Lizzie was paralyzed the last months of her life, but still very much wanted to go to school, with me at her side being her hands. One day I was unable to go, so we asked Molly if she would escort Lizzie, which she did. That day in Theology class the students were asked if they could be any animal, what would they chose. Without any hesitation, Lizzie told Molly she would be a "soaring eagle". Which, knowing how bound she was to that darn wheelchair, made such sense. She loved to dance, was always skipping and moving. So of course she would want to spread her wings and soar.
Time went on, and that horrible day came - we were to meet at the funeral home and plan the burial for our baby girl. Such a horrible thing to have to do. We still had to choose pictures for the slide show and a dress for Elizabeth to wear. Our hearts were so heavy. Molly had arranged for Abby and Kaylie to go with her mom for the day, and was outside putting them in the car, and she cames barreling in the house, saying, well, shouting, "There's an eagle! Hurry, there is an eagle out here!!" We all rushed outside. And there, right in the middle of town, right over our house, is this big, beautiful, soaring eagle. Just gracefully floats over our house and then heads off toward the west. So unusual to see an eagle in town, and many people have told us they have never seen one in town. Sure felt like a sign from our Lizziegirl.
So then the day of the funeral arrives. Again, with heavy hearts we prepare for the worst day of our lives, and again, Molly comes running in, this time downstairs, to where I am getting ready. She and Joe have these big smiles on their faces. Molly had remembered her day with Lizzie at school, the day Lizzie told her she wanted to be a soaring eagle. And since that day, eagles have been appearing, on days when we are stumbling, and we are lifted up, on eagles wings. Knowing, somehow, we are receiving a sign from our Sweet Elizabeth.
So this weekend, watching these eagles, is somehow reassuring. I don't know how the afterlife works, what form our spirit takes on when it leaves our body. I don't know if Lizzie is still nearby, or behind those golden gates. But wherever she is, whatever form her spirit has taken, I know without a doubt, she is soaring. She is free.
We are doing fine. We have electricity, and heat, and hopefully by the time we get home we will have internet again. But so many people are still without power, and heat. We are so hopeful that changes soon.
Please keep my sister, Kim, and brother, Wayne, in your thoughts. They are both, as Anisa indicated, having some health issues. Wayne will have surgery this week. We will be thinking of you, Wayne. We love you both.
Friday, December 29, 2006 3:19 PM CST
Sweet memories surround me as 2006 is winding down. When I think back to this year, it will be with great sadness...the year we watched Elizabeth go through 3 surgeries, 2 halos, a broken arm, and paralysis. The year we lost our beautiful daughter. But just as the entire cancer journey, as difficult as it can be at times, can also hold such blessings and beauty, there was also lots of laughter and happy moments in 2006. Here is one of my favorites...
Joe has been known to get after the girls for collecting water bottles in their rooms. He is constantly telling them to take them out to the recycling bin. Elizabeth was not immune to his lectures. One day, she was downstairs in our room, and she came upstairs laughing. "Daddy has a whole bunch of water bottles on his side of the bed!" It was true - he had neglected to take his own advice and remove the bottles from our room. Eyes sparkling with a sassy twinkle, Lizzie went through the house and collected every water bottle she could find and then stacked them up in Joe's nightstand. They were jammed in so tightly that they would come spilling out the minute he opened the doors. She also littered them around his side of the bed. She came upstairs and waited for his reaction, giggling in anticipation when he got home. She got her point across and got a good chuckle out of her daddy. I will never forget how she laughed and danced around the room as we heard the bottles clanging to the floor. And Joe's exasperated, "HEY!" knowing immediatley his daughter had busted him.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006 7:19 PM CST
Thanks for checking in on us, and all the messages of encouragement. We got through Christmas. Joe's parent's were with us, and that helped so much. For Kaylie's entire life Grandma and Grandpa have been here at least once a month, if not more. When Lizzie went to Heaven and Grandma and Grandpa left for Iowa, Kaylie had a hard time understanding that they would come back. To a 3 year old, it's pretty hard to understand the difference between Heaven and Iowa (it is for Joe, too...). So she was so very happy to see her Grandma Mae and Grandpa Wayne. As were we all. It will be very sad to watch them leave again.
So we got through our first Christmas without our Sweet Elizabeth. All day long I was wondering what happens in Heaven on Christmas. What kind of birthday celebration do they have for Christ the King? Does Mary run around the month before, planning and preparing for her son's big day? Do the angels decorate the skies, the stars prepare to shine brighter? However it is done, I'm sure Elizabeth was right in the middle of it all with that beautiful smile and twinkling, chocolate-drop eyes.
I've had several requests to put a picture of Elizabeth's stone on the website. Thank you for wanting to see it - that is really touching. I will, they are still waiting for her photo, when they get that on I will post pictures of it. Again, thank you for being so supportive. We do love to go into Lizzie's room and look at our maps and see just how many of you are out there and care. Molly and Eric have told me that we have 533 towns in the US alone...wow!! Keep signing in - we love to hear from you. God bless...
Sunday, December 24, 2006 9:35 PM CST
To my Sweet Elizabeth,
Daddy and I can only imagine what kind of Christmas you will have this year. As sad as we are, as much as we miss you, we know you are having a truly glorious celebration this year with Jesus and Mary. Every year, you are the first one to wish every one a "Merry Christmas!!" in that sweet, sweet voice, the first to start buying gifts, the first to start celebrating. How lucky Jesus and Mary are to have you there, to help plan a blow-out birthday party, LizzieStyle!! Oh, what a party you will have up there! Our loss, but surely Heaven's gain! We can hardly blame God for wanting you back. But oh, do we miss you, sweetheart. It just isn't the same without you here. Jessica's wish this year is for you to know she loves you and misses you, Abby wanted to leave Santa a rainbow cookie that Kalan had given us, and then she said, no, wait, I want Elizabeth to have it. And little Kaylie is always talking about what good friends you are with Mary. You are in all of our hearts, baby girl. Always. We love you, sweet girl. So much...
Merry Christmas, Angel.
loving you always,
Mama
Saturday, December 23, 2006 2:33 PM CST
Last night we received a gift from The Trettel Family that is difficult to categorize how much it means to us. They presented us with a map of the world and a map of the US. On each map, using a rainbow of pins, they put a pin from all the different countries that have been represented on the website and then on the US map all of the towns/states that have been represented. In all, they used 400 pins for the maps and it is overwhelming to see the magnitude of Lizzie's reach in the country and the world. We want to thank Molly and Derek(Eric) for the wonderfull gift. In turn, we want to thank all of you that check on the website and offer us your support through cyberspace. It is absolutely amazing to see visually your support.
Thank you for your continued support and may you all have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!
This is my first entry ever on the website because Sami is busy cooking fudge and we wanted to update the site. I want to thank all of you that support us and especially for helping Sami. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting her feel your support which allows her to share what is happening in our life.
Again Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Joe
Simply, Thanks.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006 7:53 AM CST
Elizabeth's headstone is done. What a horrible sentence. I was taken by surprise yesterday - I went out to sit with her for a while, and there it was...my baby's name in stone. Even though Joe and I agonized and planned every detail, something about seeing it out there, so permanent, just knocked me off my feet once again. Theresa, thank you for coming out and picking me up. Love you.
It is beautiful. We put one of Lizzie's butterflies that she drew in the 2nd or 3rd grade on it with a poem about butterflies, and some of the words to Jolie's 'Sweet Elizabeth'. A rose, her favorite verse (therefore do not worry about tomorrow...)and a picture of Mary holding a rosary. And of course, a rainbow. All so very Elizabeth. My Sweet Elizabeth.
Kaylie now points to Mary and tells everyone that she is Lizzie's friend. How profound for my little three year old. Seems to be as wise as her sisters (gets it from her mama, of course).
Tomorrow is Uncle Jerry's birthday. Uncle Jerry, aka Uncle Jelly, aka the sweet Uncle, is Elizabeth's Godparent. He and Lizzie have always had a special bond. From the time I was pregnant with her, and he would put his hand on my tummy to feel her move...I swear they were already communicating. When she started school Jerry began teaching Lizzie math - fractions when she was barely learning multiplication. But she loved it. She would sit and tackle each problem gleefully, and then he would praise her progress, and she'd ask for another. I'm pretty sure she is up there in heaven, teaching other little angels some math facts. Can't you just see it..."I know you can do this, we practiced yesterday..."
On October 28, something made Jerry get in the van and drive over to Kearney. He had planned on making the five hour trip from Des Moines on Sunday, but something made him come over a day sooner. He got here just in time to say goodbye to his niece, to his goddaughter. To his math partner. Sunday would have been to late. Yep, he and Lizzie have always communicated on a special level. I believe they always will. Uncle Jerry, we hope you have a wonderful birthday tomorrow, and know that a special little angel will be celebrating in the skies, just for you. We love you.
Monday, December 18, 2006 1:03 PM CST
Not much to report - we are just trying to get through this. We miss our Lizziegirl so much.
Saturday, December 16, 2006 4:30 PM CST
We have used some of the memorial money to purchase gifts for the patients at the Cancer Center in Kearney, where Lizzie was also a patient. Today we filled 49 gift bags - one for each patient currently receiving treatment. It was sad to see all the bags, knowing there are that many patients at just one hospital, in one town. Just a drop in a very large, horrible bucket. So many people in the battle. It just isn't right. But the moment was also heartwarming, knowing, hoping, at least, that maybe we will bring a little comfort to the patients during the holidays. I know Elizabeth would have been very happy to be a part of it.
This is getting harder. Each day takes us farther away from our Lizziegirl. Each day is one more day to wake up without her beautiful smile and laughter filling the house. One more day to get through. Our hearts are heavy, our arms are empty. The memories aren't enough. We need our baby back. Elizabeth carried her burdens with such strength and grace, rarely complaining. We are trying to do the same, but find ourselves stumbling, weak and weary. We just want our Lizziegirl back.
Thursday, December 14, 2006 11:41 AM CST
This morning Kaylie told me she can't see Lizzie in her heart anymore. Oh, the ache that spread through to my own heart. In some of her writings Elizabeth said she was so afraid that Kaylie would not remember her...Abby and Jess had more time with her, more memories to build, but Kaylie is so young, in time her memories will probably become dimmed. We want to do everything we can to help Kaylie remember, so when she said that this morning, Joe and I talked to her about looking at pictures and remembering all the fun times she had with Lizzie. Sometime this fall I had recorded Lizzie and Kaylie 'dancing' together. Kaylie, who had wanted to dance with her big sister, sat on Lizzie's hospital bed in the living room, laced her fingers through Lizzie's limp little hand, and started swinging their hands back and forth. Both girls were singing and 'dancing' together. What a precious moment. So I played that for Kaylie this morning, to remind her of that happy time with her sister. At one point during the recording I zoomed in on Lizzie - she realized it and looked right at the camera and smiled her beautiful Lizzie smile - right at me. Oh the pain, fresh and raw, of seeing that beautiful smile again. God, I just want her back so badly. This physical, aching longing is too much. This is just impossible, trying to go on with our lives without our Lizziegirl. How can we? She was so much a part of who we are. We are a family, and now that unit has been broken. It is missing a huge piece that can never be replaced or fixed. Instead, it just keeps getting bigger, more jagged.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 1:47 PM CST
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOLIE!! Hope you are having a great day. We love ya!
Sure seems like Miss Lizzie had quite a few things to say (or as Jeff would say, quiet a few things, hehehe). That girl always had a lesson to teach, and it looks like she is far from being done. Thank you, Nancy, for sharing that with us.
This seems like a good day to share this. I found it in one of her notebooks. She was always writing something, always had a notebook close by, and now those words and pages are treasured messages. This one was apparently a story that she was working on, sometime this summer, after she was losing function in her hands. It's obvious that she wrote it using the wrist contraption Joe came up with. I have a feeling she wants me to share it with you. I did not edit or change anything - it is the original, in her own words. Enjoy, and believe...
A cool breeze was blowing through Lily Stevenson's open window as she slowly opened her eyes. Groggily she looked at the clock. It was 3:00 in the morning. As she slowly became more awake, she noticed a white light glowing in the corner. Lily felt a wave of peace wash over her partially paralyzed body as the white light glowed brighter.
Lily's heart was pounding, but she wasn't scared. She felt so calm and happy that she knew she need not fear this soft, comforting light. She held her breath as she watched the light take the form of a person. But this person, Lily knew, was not ordinary.
The first thing Lily noticed was that it was definatley a woman. She had shoulder-length caramel brown hair that framed a face so beautiful it can't be described. Her eyes were almond shaped and as green as the grass after a long spring rain. But the thing that set her apart from humans were the pair of snow white wings folded on her back.
"An angel!" Lily thought. Robed in white the beautiful angel sat on the edge of Lily's bed.
"Hello, Lily. My name is Melody. I was sent to comfort you," the angel said.
written by Elizabeth Mae Stratton
What a comforting message for her to leave us. She never told us she had written this. As I said, I found it among all her other writings. To find it, and to know that she must have been seeing angels for awhile, and wasn't scared, but comforted. Wow. What a tremendous gift our own sweet little angel has given us. Thank you, Lizzie. We miss you so much, and love you beyond words. Keep teaching and guiding us, honey, we are listening...
Sunday, December 10, 2006 9:10 PM CST
Thank you all who lit a candle, said a prayer, joined us tonight to remember, honor and love our sweet elizabeth, all the angels, and their families.
we were surrounded by wonderful friends...sue, monty, kalan, brenda, kenzie, hannah, joy, leesa, ron, kathy, molly, annie, liza, dick, kristy, tiffany, lexi, ashley...they all came and circled around our family. it was just as lizzie would have wanted it...we lit the candles, and then the kids began playing and the adults were visiting. after a while we all moved inside and had a few beverages, and it reminded me of lizzie's carpe diem day party...the anniversary date of her diagnosis. instead of being sad on this date every year, elizabeth chose instead to celebrate life. we had parties, celebrations, and fun, fun times. lizziestyle. well, we did a version of that tonight. friends coming together, being with one another, laughing, loving, and celebrating a beautiful life.
thank you all so much, for remembering our lizziegirl, and for helping us get through another anniversary date, this time, instead of being sad, we were celebrating. thank you...livestrong, everyone, lizziestyle...
Saturday, December 9, 2006 12:54 PM CST
This Sunday marks week number six. How is that possible? Joe is setting up luminarias around our front yard. We will light them tomorrow night in memory of Lizzie and all the other children out there who have left us way too soon. On Sunday, December 10th, the Compassionate Friends, along with many other organizations, will observe the 10th anniversary of the Worldwide Candle Lighting - a day set aside each year to honor and remember all children who have died. At 7 p.m. local time, candles will be lit for one hour in remembrance of the children gone, but never forgotten, creating a wave of light around the world.
Perhaps on Sunday you will join the 'wave of light around the world' and light a candle for them, our Sweet Elizabeth, and all the families who are struggling with loss this year.
********************************************************
It feels like we take one step forward and two back. I was doing so well yesterday, so strong, and then I received a call informing me that the concrete has been poured at the cemetery. Raw emotions flooded through me, it felt like I lost her all over again.
Kaylie and I went out to see it and I felt better after visiting with Lizzie for awhile. Then last night we went to a basketball game and we were introduced to someone that wanted to know if we had someone playing in the game. We said no, and she said, well, I didn't think you looked old enough to have a child this age. I felt stuck. I wanted to say, 'but we do, we have a daughter in the 9th grade...had a daughter in the 9th grade...The words got stuck in my throat. I didn't want to have 'that conversation' with this woman I didn't know. But I felt like I was betraying Elizabeth by not talking about her, by not claiming her. The moment passed, and all I could think was 'I do have a daughter this age!! I do!' I am proud of my daughter, proud of my angel on shoulder, and why didn't I say that??
We got through the moment, just like all the others. We ended up having dinner with Leesa and Joy and had a good night. The emotions are just all over the place. Like a very wise young lady once said, "Life is a roller coaster ride."
One more thing...Uncle Jeff...
Is it 'quite'? Is it 'quiet'? Perhaps quite quiet? Perhaps spellcheck next time?? And, it certainly appears you and John and plenty of time on your hands yesterday.
And John...Lizzie was closer than sisters with Molly and Jolie. Pretty sure she would NOT be siding with you two ornery things. In fact, I wouldn't put it past a certain little angel to do some haunting if the badgering continues...
Wednesday, December 6, 2006 4:15 PM CST
Leave it to Lizzie to choose to leave
On that very day when the dawn
always seems the brightest to me.
With no cloud or raindrops in sight
There is nothing in the sky
To bend the light.
Lizzie's ploy, Oh what could it be?
It must be to teach you and me.
The lesson I guess is to force us to look
For all those rainbows that
She and we can dream up
In everything that we can see
From the leaves on the trees but most
Importantly in the people that be.
With refraction aside
The feeling and meaning
That these 'bows provide
Will allow us to view life
Through Lizzie's Loving Eyes...
written by Terry Torson
Tuesday, December 5, 2006 9:18 AM CST
According to the infamous Uncle Jeff, I have way too much time on my hands, so I will keep this short and find something to do, (perhaps think up ways to torture a certain brother-in-law??) but I just wanted to say thank you to Amanda the Panda. In November we received a large box filled with presents, one for every day from December 1st through Christmas. The instructions were for everyone to take turns opening a gift. What a wonderful idea! It has helped the girls tremendously - each evening they know they get to sort through the presents until they find the right date. As you can tell from the pictures I posted, the presents have brought many smiles already. Thank you, Amanda the Panda, and the wonderful person responsible for giving them our names. God bless you.
I have included a link at the bottom of the page if you would like more information on Amanda the Panda.
Ok, Jeff, I will go find something to do. Jolie, if you are reading this, his comment was aimed at you too! Have at him!
Sunday, December 3, 2006 9:54 AM CST
Five weeks...they keep adding up. Each day gets a little harder to bear. It's like she's been on a trip and it's time for her to come back. My arms ache to hold her.
Another mother told me it's been 27 months since her child passed away. 27 months. I can't imagine. It reminds me, in a sad, reversed way, of the way I kept track of my pregnancies...I'm five weeks pregnant...five months pregnant...just two more weeks and the baby is due! Except the countdown is backwards, taking me away from the day I last held my baby girl, instead of taking me to the first day I would hold her.
I have such a hard time with Sundays now. I suppose I always will. For the past several months, Sundays were the days when Lizzie and I stayed home while Joe took the girls to church. We would update the website together while watching the food network. Or I would give her a bath and paint her nails, put some jewelry and makeup on her. She loved to wear make-up and pretty clothes. I imagine her heavenly robe is something like we can never imagine. I can just hear her saying, "now my wings really should match my gown...and do you happen to have any earrings that go with it?"
Oh, Lizziegirl, I wish they had cameras in heaven, and you could e-mail me a picture of you. I miss you sweet girl. So very much.
Thursday, November 30, 2006 9:49 AM CST
Thank you all so much for all the memories...they helped so much. I'm printing them off, matching them with pictures, and putting them in a memory book. So, please, keep 'em coming...
Lizzie's journey with cancer was a terrible battle, full of pain, sickness, struggles and tears. Yet through it all, she believed it was never in vain, she felt God had chosen her to teach a certain lesson in this life, and teach it she did. So many people have been touched by her grace, her struggles, and her strength. I feel that lesson is not complete without everyone knowing the final chapter. However, even as I say final chapter, I know I am wrong, I know Miss Elizabeth has many more lessons in store for all of us...still, I want to share her journey home with you all, in hopes it will bring comfort, strength and faith to you, as it has to me...
Hospice nurses will tell you that when it's time to go home, the person making the journey will often have one foot in this world, and one foot in heaven. Hard to imagine, but we certainly witnessed it with Elizabeth. On Saturday, the day before she died, I believe our living room was filled with angels. At one point she was talking to a little boy, asking him what his name was. Joe and I looked at each other, and Joe asked her who she was talking to...she very clearly said, "That little boy right there, Daddy."
And then that night, after the morphine started and she was finally comfortable, and we decided we had better try to get some rest, not knowing how the night would go...Abby had gone to Molly's house, because she did not want to watch her sister die, and Grandma had taken Jessica and Kaylie to bed, and Grandpa and Jerry went downstairs. Joe and I layed down on the couch together beside Elizabeth, (she was in the hospital bed that had been in the living room for awhile), and Jeff took the floor. You could tell he wanted to give us some time alone but wasn't about to get too far from his girl. We all settled in, the room was dark, we had some soft music playing. And then the most amazing thing happened...the angels began gathering around our Sweet Elizabeth.
So many memories of Elizabeth include her either dancing or playing with children. So what happened next makes perfect sense, yet it still takes me by surprise when I think of it...
Elizabeth began her journey to heaven with children - and dancing, and singing. She was talking to children, saying "Come on, guys, over here!" And she was singing the Bear Hunt song, you know the one...'I'm going on a bear hunt...can't go under it, can't go around it, better go over it!'. Her voice was light, and happy, and she was playing, finally, playing. After months of only sitting, she was finally able to get up and play with those kids again! And then..."Oh, look! We made it to the top of the rainbow!" Our Sweet Elizabeth made it to the top of the rainbow, to the top of that bridge between here and heaven. And we were blessed enough to be able to witness it. No matter how weak my faith might be at times, I have not doubt there is a heaven, and that Elizabeth is there, surrounded by children, singing and dancing. And of course she's also busy gathering up all the angels to paint beautiful rainbows for us all, and sending eagles and butterflies down to us, to remind us that she is finally, finally, able to dance and sing again...
Elizabeth took flight around 4 AM Sunday morning...she finally got to see the sun rise again, and she rose with it, and flew to her glory, in heaven...
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 6:07 PM CST
Wednesday marks another painful 1st...it is the one month anniversary since Elizabeth took flight. I don't know how it has only been a month, and I don't know how it's already been a month. We miss our sweet girl so much.
In memory of our beautiful angel, I am asking a favor. My sweet friend Molly had the wonderful idea of sharing memories of Lizzie - that really helped to read the ones that were posted. I am dreading tomorrow, and I think that reading any memories you have of our sweet girl would help us get through the day. If you were blessed enough to know our angel while she was here, please post any stories you might have. Thank you...
Monday, November 27, 2006 9:51 AM CST
Grief is such a strange thing. You go along, fairly strong, and out of nowhere it knocks you off your feet, leaving you with a staggering pain and completely breathless. It's been 4 weeks now, 4 whole weeks since we saw our beautiful angel, and it still takes me by surprise at times. I still feel like she will be sitting on the couch when I walk into the living room. And she's not. And it hits all over again. She's gone. How is that possible? How am I a mom that has buried her child?
Elizabeth loved Christmas so much - I will say that a hundred times over the next month - but she did. She started crawling on Christmas day. She spent an entire month inching herself any way she could towards the Christmas tree, towards all those bright packages. And just when she got close, I'd pull her back, give her a boring toy to distract her. But then minute I turned my back, she started the journey again, inching, scooting, and finally, Christmas day, she got it - she was crawling, and look out - was she ready to move!!
We are slowly taking Christmas decorations out, carefully going through the piles of glittery goodies we have collected over the years. Every item reminds me of Lizzie. We have decided not to use our decorations this year, it would just be too hard. So we have been collecting rose, angel and cross ornaments. But there are a few things I still want to put out, like the tree skirt, and the Nutcrackers the girls love, things like that. So last night I was sorting through things, and BAM out of nowhere, it hits. I had been so careful, just guarding my heart. And laying there, Elizabeth's stocking. So hard to see that stocking. The girls each having matching ones, with little kitties on them. I always wanted to buy fancier ones, but Jess and Lizzie protested loudly - they love those simple stockings. So there it was - her stocking. She won't be here this year to tear through it on Christmas morning, or to poke it every time she walks by, to see if someone has put anything in it, and then giggle as I swat at her hand. She was always the first one to make gifts and put inside the stockings. She loved giving more than receiving. She planned what to buy everyone, always saving her money and buying things well before Christmas, and then asking for wrapping paper so she could wrap them up. She delighted in giving people gifts.
I hope she knew that she was our gift. And I hope God knows how lucky he is to have this angel with him at Christmas this year.
Sweet Elizabeth - I miss you so much. I thank God for you...I hope your Christmas is magical this year, baby girl. No more crawling or sitting for you - now you can soar.
Saturday, November 25, 2006 2:44 PM CST
My busy little angel has done it again! I have been struggling so much today - just feeling restless and irritated, generally unhappy and unable to feel good. Our neighbors, Leesa and Joy were outside putting up Christmas lights, and I was in the living room, writing thank you's, and all of a sudden Leesa is at the door motioning for me to come outside. Smiling, she points up at the sky - there is this beautiful, bright rainbow, right above our house. It's in a straight line, not the usual shape, but a rainbow nonetheless (when did our Lizziegirl ever do anything the traditional way?). I ran in and hollered at the girls and Joe and grabbed my camera. When we got out there, it was still there. Just this breathtaking rainbow, shining down on us.
Thank you, Sweet Elizabeth. I miss you so much, honey. You knew I needed a sign from you today, didn't you? It's not the same as having you here, but still comforting to know you are close by. We love you, angel. Keep making those rainbows for us, baby.
Friday, November 24, 2006 11:13 AM CST
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Hopefully you are still surrounded by family and friends, enjoying a day off.
We started the day by participating in the Turkey Trot at the YMCA. Abby and Kaylie ran the 1 mile fun run, along with Liza, Annie, and lots of other fellow 'trotters'. Lizzie's friend Hannah ended up carrying Kaylie for half of it, then Molly carried her the other half. But Abby ran full force.
Jessica, Joe and I ran the 2 miles. Jessica took 3rd place!! She did awesome! She blew past the finish line with a smile on her face! We are so proud of her. She is already talking about the next race.
We ended the day with Molly, her family and her parents, Grandma and Grandpa Mac. It was a beautiful way to spend the day. They welcomed us into their family with open arms.
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Thank you for all the responses about the bracelets. I've had a lot of questions about them, so here is a little explanation.
Elizabeth and her friend and fellow cancer fighter, Rachel Berreckman (ne/rachelberreckman) began making bracelets about 1 1/2 years ago. The bracelets contain 11 colors, each representing a different type of cancer. They also are made with rosebud beads. They are $20 each, and the money raised goes towards making C.A.R.E. (Cancer Awareness and Relief Effort) packages which contain gas and food cards, a calendar, a journal, an angel visor clip and bios on each of the girls. The packages are given out to patients at the Cancer Center here in Kearney.
Lizzie and Rachel loved knowing they were making a difference and felt so good knowing they were helping people out. Everytime it got a little overwhelming and I talked about not doing it any more, Lizzie talked me out of it. She said it was so important to keep reaching out to people, to keep helping people. So, in Lizzie's memory we will continue making the bracelets and keep reaching out to people.
A few weeks before Elizabeth died, I was wearing my bracelet and Lizzie looked at it and said, "Mommy, our bracelets are rainbows!!" She was so excited about that. We never planned it that way, but there it was, rainbows and roses...Lizzie's Legacy.
Some of the memorial funds will be used to make Christmas gift baskets for patients receiving treatments during the holidays. It is hard enough to have to go through treatments anyway, but no one wants to be sick at Christmas time. Lizzie loved the holidays, and I know she will want us to bring some holiday spirit to the patients. This is for you, Lizziegirl!
I also want to take a minute to say Congratulations to Rachel, who finished her treatments on November 2nd. We are so happy for Rachel and her family. They helped us through so many tough times. Lizzie and Rachel fought cancer side by side, and carried each other through the rocky journey. LiveStrong, Rachel!
Wednesday, November 22, 2006 7:53 AM CST
I love hearing about the memories...thank you...keep em' coming. Another of my favorite memories at Thanksgiving was in 2001 (I think). Granny and Papa had brought one of those singing turkeys, Joe thinks it sang something like 'Staying Alive' and then gobbled obnoxiously. Jessica and Elizabeth loved it, and played it over and over again. Joe grumbled a little bit louder each time it sang out, which only made those two mischievious little girls do it again and again. I can still hear them giggling, more at 'grumpy daddy' than at the turkey. But oh how I remember them dancing and giggling with that turkey. I can still see Lizzie, with her long brown hair flowing and chocolate-drop eyes twinkling as she skipped and wiggled around the kitchen! And Jessica, looking up at her big sister, and loving the happiness that surrounded them.
Oh, Lizziegirl, tomorrow is going to be tough. But we are going to spend it with a wonderful family, one of your favorites - Grandma and Grandpa Mac - and I have a feeling there will be lots of laughter and silliness. We will try not to be sad, try to be happy, as we 'Live Life with Lizzie in Mind'.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone. Count your blessings, treasure the memories, and maybe even dance with a singing turkey if you get the chance!!
Monday, November 20, 2006 12:09 AM CST
Kaylie and I went to Lizzie's Park today. We put a couple of different decorations out, and told Lizzie how much we miss her. It breaks my heart to think of her little body out there - it is so cold. We put two blankets in with her, but it's just not enough. I want to wrap her up in my arms. I miss my baby so much. It's been 22 days since we've talked to her, since we've held her, since we've looked into her chocolate-drop eyes. I just want time to stop. I don't want to go 23 days without her. Someone told me it takes about 5 years for the pain to ease. Five years! I can't imagine 5 weeks, 5 months. How can I go five years without her?
Sunday, November 19, 2006 1:01 PM CST
We had a great time last night at GOLD. It was wonderful to see so many people there, people we have recently been blessed with, and so many dear friends who have been by our side for years. We had fun bidding on a few things, but my favorite item was the gift box, which you can purchase throughout the evening, not knowing what is inside. The box might contain diamond earrings, Husker tickets, money, etc. Everyone opens the boxes at the same time. I opened my box and inside is an angel ornament, 'Angelica'. What a priceless gift. I knew my angel was on my shoulder the entire night.
Today we celebrate LiveStrong Sunday. We will count our blessings and remember our beautiful angel. We will thank God she is soaring among the stars, free from pain and cancer, and we will mourn our loss of this sweet, wise daughter, sister, friend.
We love you, Lizziegirl. Today marks 3 weeks since you took flight. How we miss you, angel. So glad you are no longer confined to the couch, and to cancer, but filled with such an aching need to hold you once again.
Saturday, November 18, 2006 7:21 AM CST
Joe and I are going to GOLD, as you might have read. :) For those not from Kearney, this is an formal, annual dinner and auction put on by Kearney Catholic High School. Lizzie and I talked about this day a lot, she was so excited for us, really wanting us to get to go out on a 'date'. Molly, Elizabeth and I talked about what dress I might wear, how I would wear my hair, etc. Lots of silly, giggly, girl moments were spent talking about it all. After she died, I decided I didn't want to go any more. If she wasn't here to enjoy the moment, it wasn't worth doing. And I'm just not in a partying mood.
But then I started thinking about all the times Miss Lizzie didn't feel like doing something. She put on that smile and did it anyway, and had a great time. I found a letter from her saying that almost a year ago today she knew God wanted her home. And she was ready to go home. Yet she stuck around for a whole year, a year of hell, with radiation, two halos, spine surgery, a broken arm, arm surgery, a trip to Mayo Clinic, and eventually paralysis. She knew God wanted her home, yet she continued to fight, continued to meet people and grace their lives, continued to touch people in ways that alway left them a better person. She could have said NO to radiation in Omaha. She could have said NO to spine surgery. She could have said NO to Mayo Clinic. But she always said YES. Always kept going. No matter what. She went on to a new school, and not only met wonderful new friends, but gave Joe, the girls and I a wonderful 'family' at Kearney Catholic. She knew she wouldn't graduate from high school, wouldn't even finish the school year, yet she went to school and even did the homework. She never ever took the easy road. She was a mighty warrior.
And so tonight, instead of curling up on the couch with a movie and bowl of popcorn, I will slip into my party dress, put on my dancin' shoes, and go celebrate a beautiful life with a beautiful 'family'.
This one's for you, Elizabeth...I hope you will be right there with me...maybe you can even get your daddy to let me bid on something! I love you, sweet girl. Thank you for making me a stronger person.
Today is my daddy's birthday...hope you have a great day, dad...love you.
Thursday, November 16, 2006 3:31 PM CST
The memories are starting to wind their way back into my mind, much like you all said they would. Painful and sweet, they circle around my heart and grab on. Elizabeth loved Thanksgiving - everything about it...the meal, the company, the anticipation of Christmas. Just like my sister Vickie, Elizabeth could hardly wait to put in that first Christmas cd. She tackled the holidays much like she tackled every day, with gusto and a huge smile.
Traditionally my mom, step-dad and nephew come to Kearney, I cook a big meal, we have a week-long party, and end the week by exchanging Christmas presents with them. Truly celebrating the holidays in a Livestrong Style.
My mom collects statues of Santa Clauses, so last year we decided to buy her that great big, animated Santa from Walmart. Lizzie was staying home from school and so one day we decided to set up the santa so when Granny opened it, he would be all ready to go. It was just me, Lizzie and Kaylie. We were giggly with excitement as we took him out of the box and plugged him in. We couldn't wait to show Granny what we had bought. Lizzie's eyes were sparkling, and I remember her dancing around the kitchen, impatient with me for taking so long to get it set up. We were busy trying to read the directions when Kaylie comes wandering into the kitchen, reaches out and pushes the on button. Santa starts waving his arms, bellowing out 'HO HO HO!' Kaylie was so startled she took of running, arms waving, fleeing the living room. Lizzie and I laughed so hard, we were rolling on the floor, dizzy with excitement and Christmas spirit.
Wow, do I miss that girl. She brought such life to our home. Lizzie, how in the world are we going to get through the holidays without you? I just may have to go buy another Santa, and listen for your laughter in his songs.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006 5:29 PM CST
I know I have already updated today, but I feel so connected to Elizabeth when I am on her website. It was a tough day today. Just missing her so much. I felt stuck today. I had a thousand things to get done, but I seemed to wander from room to room just spinning my wheels. I finally gave up and took Kaylie to Target - shopping is a form of therapy, right?? But again I wandered the store, not really needing anything, and nothing jumped in the cart either. Every thing appears dull - much like when you fall in love and everything seems vibrant and alive, now everything feels colorless and lifeless. All I want to do is curl up on the couch and sleep.
Joe went back to work today, and the girls were all in school. My first day all by myself. The house was so quiet, the spot on the couch where Lizzie and I snuggled so many weeks was oh so empty.
Last night Father Matt was here, and he told us that in the past few months and especially weeks as Lizzie grew weaker and more tired, he pictured in his mind God cradling Elizabeth in His arms. What a comforting statement. I wanted to share that with you all, knowing that so many of you are missing our angel, and that image would bring you comfort as well. Even though she couldn't walk or move, this child that was always so full of life, always dancing or skipping or moving, God was picking her up, wrapping her in His care, and preparing her for the day when she would indeed fly free.
Sweet Elizabeth, this hole in our lives seems to grow bigger by the day. It sure feels like there is a lot of life to get through before we can be with you again. We miss you so very much, sweet angel. The only comfort we have is believing that you are finally able to dance again. Fly free, sweet angel. We love you so...
Tuesday, November 14, 2006 7:57 AM CST
I give you this one thought to keep -
I am with you still - I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the sweet uplifting rush,
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone -
I am with you still in each new dawn.
~author unknown
we miss you, sweet elizabeth...
Sunday, November 12, 2006 4:20 PM CST
Two weeks...how in the world has it only been two weeks since we lost our baby girl??? Surely it has been years, except wasn't it only yesterday I heard her laugh? Held her sweet little hand? Looked into her chocolate drop eyes?
Today in church Kaylie looked at me and said "I miss Lizzie. I don't want her to be in Heaven any more. When will she be at our house again?" And then she just kept saying over and over "I miss Lizzie". I didn't know what to say to her. I gave the usual, she's in heaven, she's still in your heart, blah blah blah. So very inadequate words for our 3 year old. When church was over I just couldn't get home fast enough. I didn't want to talk to anyone, or have anyone ask how we were doing. I just wanted to get home.
This afternoon we were unpacking our set of LizziePlates and Lizzie's picture fell out of one of the boxes. Kaylie picked it up and said, "Mommy, what does Heaven look like?" Such big, heavy-hearted questions. So hard to answer.
Our wonderful Molly passed on a lovely tradition that we will start tonight. Her family has LiveStrong Sundays. They eat off of their LizziePlates and talk about all of the blessings in their lives. Lizzie was so good at seeing the beauty in every single thing she did. So in memory of our beautiful angel we, too, will celebrate LiveStrong Sundays. And in honor of our angel, maybe you might decide to do the same.
LiveStrong, LizzieStyle...
Saturday, November 11, 2006 7:23 PM CST
We are back from Lincoln...we drove over to cheer on the KCHS girls volleyball team at state. The girls played hard and well - great job girls - I am sure Lizzie is smiling down on you all.
It was a hard drive to make - one of the many firsts that we will have to make. We have made so many trips in that direction over the past 4 1/2 years. To not have Lizzie in the van with us was so hard. However, it was good to be with our wonderful KC family. There were rainbow ribbons, shoelaces and balloons everywhere in memory of Elizabeth. So good to see Lizzie's spirit alive in all of those kids and their families.
Now we are back home trying to take it one day at a time. There is such a hole in our lives now. We miss our Sweet Elizabeth so much.
Thanks for checking in on us. We love to read your messages. Peace be with you all...
Sunday is Granny Gale's and Grandma Mac's birthday - Happy Birthday you two - we love you both!
Thursday, November 9, 2006 11:09 AM CST
"You can do it, Mommy - just one step at a time..."
Lizzie's voice comes back to me as Joe and I struggle to take each new step. Maybe some of you will remember a journal entry I posted this past summer...Joe and I had gone on the roof to watch a storm gather to the east. Lizzie was sitting out on the swing, doing what she loved most - writing and drawing. When it came time to climb down the ladder, I felt frozen with fear, afraid to take that first step out onto the ladder. Lizzie sang out to me, in that sweet voice - "you can do it, Mommy! I know you can...just put one foot down, then another. Before you know it, you will be safely on the ground! Daddy is right there, holding you, and you can do it!"
My wise, strong daughter. I can feel her calling out to us now, "You can do it - Mommy and Daddy - hold onto each other...just one foot down, and then another...soon you will be safe..."
Just one foot in front of the other. We can do this. Lizzie said so.
Thank you all so much for the outpouring of love, messages and support. God Bless!
Tuesday, November 7, 2006 4:20 PM CST
everything is wrong. nothing feels right. i miss my baby girl so much. my arms ache to hold her, i feel so lost right now. tonight is gilmore girls night- we are supposed to snuggle in on the couch, me as close as i can get to her, her rubbing my back the best she can with an arm she can't quite move. i miss my baby. i don't want her to be an angel just yet. i don't want her to be in pain, but i just want her to be my teenage daughter who watches silly tv shows with me, who argues with me, who laughs with me. i don't know how to do this. i just want her back.
i'm not sure what happened today. everything was ok. we drove to holdrege where the stones are kept. we walked in and among all the stones there is one that seems to jump out at me. i look over at joe and he is looking at the same one. there is a single yellow rose on it. just like the ones in her halo on her homepage. no other yellow roses in the store. it just seemed to be calling out to us. almost like lizzie had snuck in before we got there and placed the rose on it, as if to say, "this one, mommy and daddy." then we are introduced to the man who will carve the stencil onto the stone. turns out he is the man lizzie and rachel presented their very first CARE package to at the cancer center a year and a half ago. he remembers meeting lizzie and rachel. he walked us through the process and talked to us about what we could do. it was very comforting to know that someone who had met lizzie, who is a cancer survivor, would be seeing to her headstone. then we discovered the name of the headstone is called 'mountain'. it seemed perfect. we talked about the layout, and everything was fairly decided. we drove home feeling that we had made the right decisions. joe treated me to lunch and we came home. and i hit a wall. i don't know why. i feel like i am just now receiving the news, it feels so fresh and raw. i don't want to pick out a stone. i don't want to have my baby girl's name engraved on a headstone. i just want her back.
Monday, November 6, 2006 3:58 PM CST
Another tough day of decisions...Joe and I began the very difficult task of picking out a headstone for our baby girl. Of all the decisions to make, this one seems the hardest. There are so many possibilities - color, shape, size, what pictures, what verses, do we want it polished or not, and on and on. We finally decided to take another day to think it through. Tomorrow we will drive to Holdrege where they keep the stones so we can see what they look like, instead of trying to get an idea from a picture. In the meantime we drove through the cemetery and tried to get some ideas. We just want to get this right. It will mark the place where our sweet angel has been layed to rest; we want it to be a symbol of who she was, who she still is.
On Thursday as we were driving to the grave site, little Kaylie was on my lap, and she wanted to know where we were. We have struggled to explain the situation to her. She is only 3, and we explain heaven as a place of happiness, with God, Mary, and Jesus. Yet we are all wandering around crying and sad. I'm sure she is confused. So when she asked that question, I knew I had to explain things in a way she would understand, yet be ok about going to, because I know we will spend a lot of time there. I told her it was Lizzie's park, and she quietly seemed to accept that answer. As we pulled up to Lizzie's spot, Kaylie took a deep breath and said, "Ohh, Lizzie has her own tent? Wow!!"
I think she will be ok with us going to Lizzie's Park now.
And so now, the final step in this process, picking out the stone for Lizzie's Park. Please pray for whispers from Elizabeth tomorrow as we try to make this desicion.
Joe and I spent some time decorating her spot today. We hung a shephards hook with some wind chimes by her, and wrapped a rainbow ribbon and a butterfly on it. I posted a
picture.
Thanks for all the wonderful messages. Our heavy hearts are a little lighter every time we read a loving, tender message from you. God Bless.
I love you, Lizziegirl...miss you so much, honey.
Saturday, November 4, 2006 10:24 PM CST
so hard to believe it's been a whole week since i tucked my baby girl in for her last night on this earth. if only i'd known... oh the signs were surely right there in front of me - she even asked me the hardest question i will ever have to answer - "mommy, how do i die?" but even as i am telling her how much i love her, how if she will only relax, jesus will come take her home, i am believing in my heart she only needs a good nights sleep, and when she wakes in the morning, we can have a good snuggle and talk. oh, if only i would have just said a few more things. a week ago today was my very last day with my baby girl, and i can't even rememeber every part of it. there should be in my memory every second recorded, yet i can't recall it. i've asked joe today, what did we do on our last day with our baby girl. it is so important for me to recall our last day, and yet i can't. i can only remember tucking her in, coaxing her to relax, telling her i love her. and thinking, in the morning, i will tell her this, and this, and this...yet our morning together never came. instead it became a week of mourning, a week of remembering, a week of saying goodbye.
i want to take a minute to express how grateful i am to father matt. he took the time to go over every step of the services with us. i had it in my heart that i wanted this last thing i planned for my angel to be perfect. i agonized over every song, every verse, every reading. at one point i even tried to change some words to a verse in the bible (seriously??) and he oh so patiently guided me towards a different verse. when i couldn't decide on what i wanted, he left to his next appointment and patiently told me what step i needed to take by the next time he would be over. what should have taken an hour took more than a day, and he never complained, just guided me gently. how many times he told me, 'just one step at a time.' thank you, father matt, for being not only a priest, for being a friend on the days i needed it most. joe and i will always be grateful to you.
good night, my sweet angelgirl. your daddy and i miss you so much. our arms ache to hold you. as we face our first milestone tomorrow, a whole week without you, know that you have been with us every step of the way. we will keep looking for rainbows, for that soaring eagle, for your radiant smile. we love you, baby girl...
Saturday, November 4, 2006 8:18 AM CST
“ IT IS ME “
REMEMBER ME WHEN YOU LOOK UP AND THE STARS KISS YOUR EYES.
WHEN YOU LOOK AT A FLOWERS VELVET INSIDES, AND BREATHE DEEP IT’S ESSENCE AT SUNRISE.
WHEN YOU LOOK AT A BABBLING BROOK, HEAR MY LAUGHTER THERE.
KNOW THAT I AM WITH YOU IN ITS DEEP POOLS, WHERE FISH PLAY.
BE AT PEACE IN THE SERENITY THAT SURROUNDS YOU TODAY.
KNOW THAT I CARE, AND AM WITH YOU ALWAYS.
REMEMBER ME WHEN YOU WAKE AT DAWNS EARLY HUSH, AND HEAR THE BIRDS SWEETLY SING.
I AM WITH YOU TODAY IN ALL THAT IT WILL BRING.
WALKING BESIDE YOU IN EACH THING YOU SEE, AND ALL THAT YOU DO.
FEEL MY PRESENCE WITH YOU.
WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH THE WOODS ACROSS THE SOFT MOSSY CARPETS OF GREEN, BREATHE IN THE DEEP WOODED SCENT, WHERE ALL WILD THINGS GROW.
I AM IN EVERYTHING AND I KNOW…
YOU WILL FEEL ME THERE, CARESSING YOUR FACE AND YOUR HAIR.
REMEMBER ME AS THE WIND BLOWS AROUND YOU IN RUSTLING LEAVES, SWIRLING UP YOUR SLEEVES.
UNSEEN IT IS THERE, ALTHOUGH YOU CANNOT SEE…
IT IS ME.
I CANNOT BE WITH YOU, THOUGH I WANT TO BE.
BUT YES I AM WITH YOU IN ALL THAT YOU SEE.
FEEL MY LOVE AND KNOW….
IT IS ME!
Author: VERN - VERONE MILLER-VON MILLER
Friday, November 3, 2006 4:15 PM CST
Way to go Stars!! Thanks for keeping Lizzie in your hearts! You are forever in ours! YOU inspire US.
Please take a minute to read a great article in the sports section of the Kearney Hub (www.kearneyhub.com). (I'm sorry - I don't know how to do links.)
Thanks to all who attended the funeral service. It was a beautiful farewell for our sweet angel. We are doing okay; it's a sad day without our angelgirl, but we continue to be uplifted by your messages, by the outpouring of love from our KCHS family, the community of Kearney, and our families. Thank you for checking in and circling around us. Keep looking for rainbows...and if you see a soaring eagle, be sure and tell Lizzie 'hi' for us...
Thursday, November 2, 2006 7:24 AM CST
Funeral service will be held at St. James Catholic Church today at 10:30 AM, viewing beginning at 9:30 AM.
*****************************************************
hi baby girl - i have a favor to ask - i am so afraid of letting you go today. i don't think i can do it. this entire week i knew that no matter how hard things got, i could still seek you out and give your sweet little cheeks a kiss, touch your hair once again, hold your hand. but today i have to let you go. i'll never again feel your soft skin, smell your sweet, 'chocolate' hair. so the favor...please carry me through this, my sweet angel. i'm the mama, i should carry you, but right now i am feeling weak and need you to carry me. i love you, elizabeth. and i can't wait to see a rainbow today, a soaring eagle, and i'll know that your spirit flies free. soar, baby girl, soar...
Monday, October 30, 2006 5:21 PM CST
Update: Tuesday, October 31, 2006
A block of rooms have been reserved at the Holiday Inn Express thanks to some dear friends. Rate is $49. 308-234-8100
For those of you who might not know, tomorrow at the 5:30 Prayer Vigil there will be an opportunity for friends and family to share stories and memories of our Sweet Elizabeth. We would love to hear about your experiences with our sweet angel. A picture slide show will be shown. Please come and share your love for ELizabeth with us.
End of Update.
*******************************************************************
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, they are getting us throught this very difficult time.
The following will be held at St. James Catholic Church.
3801 Ave A
Kearney, Ne.
Wednesday, Nov. 1
2:00pm - 5:30pm Viewing
5:30 - 6:30 Prayer Vigil
Thursday, Nov. 2
10:30am - funeral
Hotel rooms may be limited - if you plan on staying in Kearney you may want to make reservations soon.
"Among God's best gifts to us
are the people who love us" - unknown
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10:02 PM
...hi, my beautiful angel. thank you for getting us through this tough day...so many hard decisions to make today, yet you somehow walked us through each and every step, making every choice a little easier to make. you have been a busy little angel, dancing around, giving us signs of your love. every time we fell and didn't think we could possibly stand up again, there you were, showing us that you are still very much with us. i'm not saying any of this is easy, but we certainly felt you with us, all day, every moment, guiding us, loving us. thank you, my sweet angel.
we picked out a beautiful spot for you today at the cemetery. after a rainbow passed right in front of us, your daddy walked right over to a pretty spot right beside a tree and said, this is it. right here. the sun will shine on her all day. it is perfect.
i hope you saw all your friends surrounding us today, holding us, praying with us. they all love you so much, just as we do. we miss you so, sweet elizabeth. thank you for sticking around today. i'm sure we could hear you laughing in the wind. i know we saw you soaring above the house, on an eagle's wings. and so many other times, you were here today, carrying us and guiding us. lifting us up. good night, my busy little angel. i love you so...
Sunday, October 29, 2006 9:45 PM CST
my baby girl...oh how i miss you. there is so much i never got to tell you. so much i still want to do with you. my arms ache to hold you. how can i never hold you again? how can i never hear your laughter again, or see your smile? i never knew pain could hurt so bad, could be this raw. i just want to feel you in my arms again. oh, how i miss you, sweet elizabeth. my sweet, sweet elizabeth. i don't want to go to sleep and wake up without you. when i woke up this morning, you were still here. tomorrow i face my first day without you, and i don't think i can do it, sweetheart.
can you feel the love, darling? so many people love you, but not half as much as your daddy, sisters and i do. you are forever in our hearts, forever in every sunrise, and sunset. in every rainbow. in every butterfly. in children's laughter. with every beat of our hearts.
"...where you go, i will follow, anywhere, that you tell me to. if you need, you need me to be with you, i will follow you, where you lead..." that's our song, baby girl...
we will always love you, sweet elizabeth.
Sunday, October 29, 2006 7:19 AM CST
our sweet, beautiful earth angel has her wings.
Saturday, October 28, 2006 3:36 PM CDT
not much new to say. jill spent the morning working on lizzie, trying to get her comfortable. she prayed with us, cried with us, and sat with us. she called in another nurse, marcia, sometime during the morning, and together they worked with dr. pottoff, trying to figure out what to do. dr. pottoff came to the house and talked to elizabeth. we've changed some things around but she is still uncomfortable and restless.
joe and i feel so broken. nothing seems to be working, not even prayers. "my god, my god, why have you abandoned me?"
thanks for checking in on us.
Saturday, October 28, 2006 8:17 AM CDT
long night, even longer morning already. i know you all are praying, but i don't know what else to do but to ask for more...lizzie is extremely uncomfortable. jill has been here since 5 am and is trying so hard to make lizzie more comfortable. please, please, pray for mercy for my baby girl. she is hurting so much she is panting and has bouts of delirous moments. please, god, where are you??
Friday, October 27, 2006 5:35 PM CDT
update: 11:15 PM
just wanting everyone to know that our sweet lizzie lou is resting comfortably right now. our wonderful, dedicated jill was here a little while ago - did i mention today was her day off, and she has been here 4 times today?? lizzie has been having problems with her catheter, and jill was here taking care of things. i'm not sure if things are better, but we got to the point where joe and i were fussing with the tubing, worrying and trying to figure out what to do, and lizzie said, 'it's fine, please put the covers over it and sit down!' she just wanted to forget about things for a while and relax. joe and i looked at each other, stunned for a minute, and then collapsed in a fatigue-induced laugh. here we were, fretting, and she was telling us to 'chill'! leave it to our lizzie lou!! to quote jill, "god love her!!"
sweet dreams, everyone, and god love you all...
end of update.
_______________________________________________________________
just a quick update...lizzie is resting comfortably now. anisa was on the case and got her some meds that seem to be bringing relief. good ol' anisa - we love you so.
we have spent the day by her side, carolyn, molly, father matt, grandpa, grandma, jeannie, joe and i, taking turns talking to her or just sitting with her. uncle jeff is on his way, he couldn't stay away from his girl another minute.
at one point today when she was sleeping the sun light was streaming in the window and shining on her face. carolyn whispered, 'isn't she beautiful? i can just see her without all the hardware on, she is just simply beautiful.' It did indeed seem like a more intense light shining on her, and she was indeed radiant. as always. our sweet, glorious earth angel.
thanks for all the messages...god bless...
Friday, October 27, 2006 7:57 AM CDT
update: 11:35 AM
Our hospice nurses have been here taking care of Elizabeth. She is agitated and keeps saying she just wants to sleep. We gave her an anti-anxiety medicine and she seems to be resting more comfortably now.
It's so hard to know what to pray for. We only want peace and mercy for her, but are finding it difficult to tell her it is ok to let go. When I said those words to her this morning, I don't think they came from me. Someone else was helping me along, guiding me to do what needed to be done. Ever since the doctors sent us home in June, I keep waiting for them to call and say, oh, we made a mistake, Lizzie is fine. I guess we have come to the point where I need to let go of that fantasy, but, wow, is it hard. We have fought so hard for 4 1/2 years, and this is not the outcome we were fighting for.
Sorry for babbling. Thank you all for circling around us. I will update more later.
One more thing - Jessica, if you are reading this at school, please know that Lizzie is fine, we are taking care of her, and we will call you home if that changes, ok? Remember our deal. We love you, sweetheart...
end of update
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We need our prayer warriors once again...Lizzie had a bad night. Her arm hurts, hur tummy hurts, and a slew of other problems. This morning she told me she is tired of fighting and wants to let go, is trying to let go, but can't. Please pray for peace for my baby girl, and strength for all of us who love her.
We have given her some morphine and she is feeling somewhat better. She is talking to Joe and a little more animated.
Today is Grandma Mae's birthday - please wish her a happy day.
Thursday, October 26, 2006 10:31 AM CDT
Update: I liked Roberta's idea of a family picture - we will take a current one this weekend and post it. I love this picture of Elizabeth - that beautiful smile just shines, doesn't it??
end of update
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Thanks for checking in on us. Not much new to report. Lizzie is doing ok, just very tired. She sleeps quite a bit now. It's a dreary day in Kearney, so no rainbows today. However, we have brought in all the rainbows the 'Red Room' preschool class made and are planning on attaching them to strings and hanging them from the ceiling so Lizzie can see them. Who needs the sun to make rainbows when you have all of the wonderful people out there who love Lizzie?
Lizzie slept all night; it was little Kaylie who got Grandpa up during the night. She was up using the 'little girls room' and Grandpa thought he better check on her. Other than that, it was a good night for all.
Hope you all find a way to create a rainbow for yourself today, in honor of our Sweet Elizabeth! Peace to you all...
Wednesday, October 25, 2006 8:39 AM CDT
Invasion of the Rainbow Angels...
Last night our yard was 'invaded' by three nurses from the Cancer Center! Sara's daughter, Emma, and her preschool class at the YMCA and some of the other nurse's kids (Emilee) made rainbow signs for Lizzie! Sara, Laura and Andie, nurses who have worked with Lizzie over the years, brought them over yesterday and decorated our yard with the bright, cheerful colors! We put some in Ron and Kathy's yard so Lizzie can see them from her bed (thanks, Ron and Kathy, for letting us borrow your yard!)
As the yard was being decorated, Lizzie smiled and said, "Invasion of the Rainbow Angels!" Thank you all so much! They are beautiful!!
I have instructions to let everyone know that Grandpa did not wake Lizzie up last night!! :) They both slept all night! (Good job, Grandpa!)
Lizzie is feeling ok this morning, a little tired still (Grandpa says it's from cheering the Cardinals on last night). She's going to stay in her bed today and take it easy. Thanks for keeping her in your thoughts. Have a great day!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006 10:13 AM CDT
Not much to report. Lizzie was very tired and uncomfortable yesterday. She woke up with a smile this morning, though, giving Grandpa a hard time about waking her up, again, at 4 and 6 AM.
We moved her to the couch so she and I could get some snuggle time in. She is more comfortable today, just tired. Before she drifted off to sleep, she was smiling. What a beautiful site to behold. Prettier than any rainbow...
Monday, October 23, 2006 10:14 AM CDT
Yesterday was a great day! Father Matt delivered a beautiful Mass; he spoke about some things that had been bothering us lately. It was wonderful to have Mass at home, all together. We haven't celebrated a Mass as a family in a long time. It was very uplifting and reassuring.
Anna Mae and Wayne drove over yesterday; they came to lend a hand and spend some time with the girls. It's a relief to have them here. Granny was here last week and left a hole when she went back to New Mexico. We love you, Granny!
Last night Molly, Eric, Annie and Liza came for dinner. Lizzie was able to sit up and enjoy their visit. It was good to have them over.
Grandpa gave Joe and I the night off; we have been taking turns sleeping on the couch so we can be near Lizzie. Grandpa offered to do it (actually, I think Grandma volunteered him!) and we took him up on it. Lizzie slept all night. In fact, around 4 am Grandpa woke up and felt nervous because he hadn't heard from her yet, so he woke HER up!! She was fine, and fell back to sleep right away. Ironically, Joe and I both woke up around 2:00 and couldn't go back to sleep. Isn't that the way it always works??
In spite of a full nights sleep Lizzie is pretty tired today and restless. She isn't really hurting or feeling bad, just not feeling good either. The sun is shining, though, and our rainbow maker is casting beautiful rainbows all around us. So hopefully after a nap we will see that beautiful smile emerge again.
One thing I want to say before I sign off...I am terrible at getting thank you notes out - always have been, and much worse now. However, we are so grateful for ALL of the wonderful gifts that you all send Lizzie - the rainbow chimes, the rainbow of butterflies that we have hanging above Lizzie's bed, the cards, jewelry, the meals you have cooked for us, the donations, and on and on. I am so afraid to leave something out, but please know that Lizzie delights in all her gifts, and we are grateful for them all. You all continue to put a smile on our Sweet Elizabeth's face. Thank you.
Have a glorious day!
Sunday, October 22, 2006 11:08 AM CDT
Happy Sunday! Elizabeth had a good night and is feeling GOOD!!!!!! She is sitting on the couch, and that beautiful smile is shining!! yea!!!
Not sure if it was the medicines, the infection, or what, but whatever the reason, she has made a big improvement. Thanks for all your prayers and messages!
We had a good time with the Torson's yesterday. Although Lizzie napped for a good deal of the game, she woke up every so often and discussed the score with Mr. Torson. Even in her foggy state she was able to keep up with what was going on. She is a true Husker Fan! Sorry, Uncle Jeff and Jerry!!
Father Matt is on his way over to do Mass for our family. What a treat, our own, personal Mass!
Thanks for checking in on us, and for loving our Lizziegirl. Have a glorious day!
Saturday, October 21, 2006 9:03 AM CDT
update: 12:55
lizzie is resting. she still feels a little unsettled but more comfortable now. jill and mr. torson are here, watching the game with us and keeping an eye on our lizziegirl. jill spent the morning with the doctors and decided on a different mix of meds. hopefully we've got the right potion now. thanks for the prayers.
end of update.
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just a quick update - lizzie had a restless night but made it through. she really scared us last night - she told each of us how much she loved us, and made joe promise her she would see him in the morning. she was so afraid to go to sleep, poor baby.
our wonderful hospice nurse is here now, talking to the pharmacist, trying to decide if a medication is causing problems and what to do about it. our sweet jill, she is supposed to be off this weekend, but read our update and called first thing this morning. she is the best. and she is working hard at getting our lizziegirl more comfortable.
thank you all so much for all the prayers, messages and check-ins. you all bring much-needed comfort to us.
i will update later and let you know how she is doing. god bless...
Friday, October 20, 2006 6:10 PM CDT
update: shortly after i posted the journal entry, i heard lizzie saying the rosary. she said she was feeling strange again and needed to stay awake. joe and i sat down beside her, and together we prayed the joyful mysteries while watching the sun set. it was a beautiful moment. she is just amazing - she is taking a half-a-dozen drugs at least that cause sleepiness, and she was still able to recall all of the joyful mysteries. she is so spiritual, so faithful, so strong. thank you, god, for this precious gift, our sweet elizabeth.
end of update.
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tough day today...lizzie has been weak and tired, and gave us a little scare this afternoon. she called out to me, and said she felt like something was happening. she felt like she couldn't wake up fully and stay awake. her eyes were glazed over and i could tell things just weren't right. luckily, molly was here and called joe to tell him he needed to get home. we gathered around her bed - she asked us to keep talking to her to keep her awake. i cannot express the feelings that went through me. i've never been so afraid in my life. joe got home and joined us on the bed where we sat holding hands, and talking. over the course of the afternoon lizzie seemed to get stronger. we are thinking that maybe of the meds she is on for her tummy spasms is causing some strong side effects. we are going to back off of those a little and see if that helps. and pray for more time with our sweet elizabeth.
Thursday, October 19, 2006 3:42 PM CDT
Roberta, I love that story you posted. It is something we should all strive to do. When I was pregnant with Lizzie my sister Vickie told me, "When the baby naps, you nap, when the baby is awake, be with the baby. The dishes can wait, and so can everything else." How I wish I would have listened to her, and not worried so about having a clean house, or a perfect figure. I wish I would have spent more time just being mommy to Lizzie when she was a baby, instead of letting all those other things clutter up my time. What I wouldn't give to go back and do it all over again.
I've been thinking a lot about the Holy Mother these days. How hard it was for Mary, to be told, in a dream, that she was pregnant (HOW'S THAT?!) and her baby wouldn't be just any baby. I mean, can you imagine it? And then, after all that she experienced with her son, to watch Him be nailed to the cross, let me say that again...NAILED to the cross. How it kills us parents when our children are hurting, we rush for the bandaides, for the sure-cure hug, anything we can to make the tears stop and the 'boo-boo' to go away. There wasn't a bandaide around that Mary could have used on Jesus. His pain would not go away with a hug, she couldn't wipe His tears away. She could only watch him suffer. Joe and I feel like that so many times as we watch Lizzie suffering. She, too, is nailed to her own cross, with screws literally going into her head. No bandaides can take away the tumors, the paralysis, the frustration and pain. Mary was so unfailing with her faith. I wish I could say the same for me. I visit one CB site after another, and just have to wonder, why?
Sorry for the drama. We are having a good day. Lizzie is feeling fairly well for the most part. Jolie was here and we had a nice, easy visit. She painted Lizzie's nails and treated us to lunch, and we watched a movie together. It was so good to see her again - I know she has been missing Lizzie, and Lizzie has been missing her, too.
So why the drama? Not sure. Just something that has been eating at me lately. We have statues of Mary all over the yard and house, we pray the rosary, but lately I have been thinking about her more as a 'mom' than the 'holy virgin'. How scared she must have felt, how alone, giving birth in a stable, away from her home. Then, watching her son growing up; we are told that Jesus was like any other young boy, mischievious, even naughty sometimes. Can you imagine, Jesus in time-out?? How strong Mary must have been to be a mother to Christ. And through it all she stayed strong in her faith, believing, knowing, that there was a reason for it all. That if she was just patient enough, the reason would be revealed. God, please give me the patience to have your reason revealed. And strength in the meantime. Amen.
Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:06 AM CDT
Well, apparently what happens in Vegas, does NOT stay in Vegas. Uncle Jerry, my sweet, quiet, supportive brother-in-law...I guess it really is the quiet ones you have to watch out for...
Lizzie had a better night and woke up feeling pretty well this morning. She is a little unsettled this morning, but looking forward to a visit from Ms. Jolie Edwards today. We are planning a fun day of manicures/pedicures, movies, and who knows what else!
And just for the record, my head did not turn in a COMPLETE circle, Uncle Jerry. Perhaps half a circle, and the guards didn't even look twice. And the shrimp cocktails were for the baby. Clearly.
Have a glorious day, everyone!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006 11:24 AM CDT
update: 8:19 PM
Lizzie has a urinary tract infection. She is on (more) meds and is still really tired, probably from her body fighting the infection, along with everything else. We are not taking phone calls right now except from our hospice nurse. We are all just tired and spent. Thanks for all you do for our family. We love you all.
End of Update.
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Lizzie had I had a long night. She was restless and couldn't get to sleep. Sometime during the night she asked for an anti-anxiety pill. Well, it worked - the poor girl is gorked. She can't hardly wake up, and keeps falling into a deep, troubled sleep. Joe stayed home so I could take a nap this morning, and Jessica is home with a tummy ache. We make quite a group - the sleepy mom, the gorked daughter, the sick daughter, and the rock-star dad! (Keith Urban is in the CD player, I am sure we will be serinaded today as Joe morphs into KU.) Abby and Kaylie were able to escape the fun and are at school and a play date.
Something I need to clear up - Uncle Jeff: IT WAS ONE TIME, ONE TIME, THAT I LOST MY COOL DUE TO LACK OF FOOD! I was pregnant with Lizzie, and we were lost in Las Vegas. I hadn't eaten in weeks (something you could try sometime) due to morning sickness and I needed food NOW. The other times I have had temper tantrums was most likely due to the presence of a certain brother-in-law!
Wow, I feel better now. Hope you all have a wonderful day! Thanks for all the encouraging messages. Oh, Aunt Lisa, I won't discuss Gilmore Girls since you are not caught up yet, but you might not want to read the guestbook for a couple of days!! :)
Tuesday, October 17, 2006 10:00 AM CDT
Better day today. Lizzie is more comfortable. Thank you for all your wonderful stories, messages and prayers.
Thanks, also, for letting me have my temper tantrums. No matter how much I rage, you all still come back and tell me it's allowed, even expected. Thank you. Have a glorious day...
Monday, October 16, 2006 2:03 PM CDT
Today is Father Matt's birthday - Hope our favorite 'Elvis-look-a-like' has a wonderful day!!
Lizzie is having some tummy troubles. This weekend she started feeling like she was locked in a 'crunch' position, as if she had been doing constant sit-ups. She felt better on Sunday, but is hurting again today. Unfortunately, we seem to have stumped the medical community once again (that's our Lizziegirl!) and no one seems to know what to do to ease the pain. We tried a heat pad, but because of the steroids, Lizzie's skin is sensitive and didn't handle that too well. Poor Lizzie. If it's not one dang thing, it's another. We just get the tumor pain under control, and now this. You have to hand it to her, she has that exasperated smile on her face, and just shrugs her shoulders, as if to say, "what do ya do?" I can think of a few things I'd like to do right now, but I probably shouldn't mention it on the website. I just feel so angry. I mean, really, can't the girl get a friggin break? Please?
Sunday, October 15, 2006 8:45 AM CDT
A dear friend of ours from California recently sent Lizzie a letter, and I wanted to share part of it with you. It was such a sweet, gentle 'love letter'. This friend lived in Reno when we did, and has known Elizabeth since she was 4 years old. Here is what she wrote...
"I've learned so much from you, and I just want to take the time to say thank you. I refer to everything I've learned from you as...
'Lessons from Lizzie'
1. Always smile.
2. Always have a positive attitude.
3. Never give up - when things get tough, stay in the game and fight.
4. Always take time to appreciate the little things in life.
5.Take time to enjoy every moment with my family. Even if it's just another trip to the store - there is a special time to be shared.
6. Make every moment in life count.
7. Serve others in need.
8. Keep God in the center of my life.
9. Try to touch each person I meet or spend time with in a special way.
10. Whenever I'm not really feeling great or happy, I think of you and it's amazing how my attitude changes.
You're amazing, Elizabeth!"
***********************************************************
Just wanted to share that with you all. Have a great Sunday!
Saturday, October 14, 2006 12:41 AM CDT
Needing your prayers, again...Lizzie in not having a good day. She isn't really hurting, just not feeling right. Please send her lots of love and prayers. We are so grateful for the good days, and feel so blessed with so many of those. It is hard to watch her suffer, yet, through it all, she still has moments of happiness, moments of peace. As one of so many who love Elizabeth so much, I am greedy and want nothing but good days. I just have to pray hard for as many as we can get.
The students and staff at Kearney Catholic made Lizzie a beautiful quilt, and everybody signed it. I will post pictures of it soon. Thanks so much, KCHS, for all you do for our family!
Friday, October 13, 2006 10:16 AM CDT
Lizzie woke up with a smile on her face this morning, giggling and asking for a 'stepped on, sat on fried egg'. That twinkle was back in her beautiful, chocolate-drop eyes! So good to see. Yesterday was a tough day on her, she struggled with her pain, but our wonderful Jill was here, helping her through it. And today, a smile on her face and laughter in her heart. Can you feel the rainbows?
The picture today on the homepage is from Kaylie wanting to 'dance' with Elizabeth. I put her on the bed, and she carefully picked Lizzie's hand up, laced their fingers together, and gently moved their hands back and forth. She and Lizzie started singing as they swayed. It was the sweetest sister moment, one that I wanted to capture and freeze forever.
Thank you for all the wonderful messages for Jessica - you made her day!
Thursday, October 12, 2006 8:43 AM CDT
Today is Jessica's golden birthday - 12 on the 12th! Happy Birthday, JessieRose!!
Lizzie is feeling good today. Just a couple things to clear up: stepped on eggs are eggs that have been fried in tons of butter, first having been broken in the shell, stabbed with a fork multiple times, then fried, thrown on the floor, stomped on while dancing to the fantastic sound of Jolie singing Midwest Girl, then, finally!! we get to actually eat them! Oh, the heavenly taste!! I think I want some more!! oh, wait...that's a Girl Scout cookie!! of course, you know this is an Iowa fantasy.
from Sami: my mom wrote the above. She fancies herself as a great writer of fiction. More like science fiction.
Seriously, it is a beautiful fall day; the sun is shining, promising many rainbows from our rainbow maker. They are beginning to dance around the room, their beauty unmatched by anything except the fall leaves dancing outside our windows as the breeze blows them around, and even more so...by our Lizzie's beautiful smile as she watches the dancing colors.
Thanks to all our prayer angels! Your love keeps us going!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006 8:21 AM CDT
good morning, all our prayer angels!! this just in from Lizzie: last night was a better night and we just figured out that she was out of sorts because she didn't begin her day with Mike and Mike as usual!! Watching them this morning, she realized what an important part of her day they have become! :0 She's having eggs, fried and stepped on, with cornbread and honey for breakfast. She's smiling - I think I even heard a little giggle. That's our Lizzie!!! She makes her own rainbows!! Thank you for you prayers! They lift us up and keep us going. ~love, granny
Tuesday, October 10, 2006 9:17 AM CDT
update: 9:31 PM
Lizzie is hurting - can I say how very hard it is to watch her hurt? No child should ever have to feel like she is feeling now. No parent should ever have to sit at that child's side, so helpless to soothe and 'kiss better'. I want to rip that tumor out of her arm, out of her spine, out of her precious body. It is just so so wrong. She is so faithful to God, so strong, so believing, and here she is, seemingly so abandoned. I don't understand why children are allowed to feel such pain. Please help me understand. There are no smiles on my baby girl's face right now. No sun came out today. No rainbows.
My prayer, my plea, for tonight: please, God, let my SweetElizabeth have sweet, easy, painfree dreams tonight, and wake up feeling refreshed and happy. And pain-free. Amen.
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Lizzie isn't feeling great today. She has been having nightmares, and wakes up feeling scared and tired. Her arm is bothering her more today, also.
The sun never came out yesterday, so no rainbows from nature, but rainbows are being brought to her regardless...Abby's class made her a rainbow book; page after page of beautiful, colorful rainbows. Father Matt brought Lizzie a rainbow crucifix and rosary. A caringbridge reader sent Lizzie a rainbow maker, which creates hundreds of tiny rainbows when the sun shines on it. And of course, all the rainbow stories that we love to read about.
Please send lots of prayers our way for peace and comfort for our Sweet LizzieLou...
Monday, October 9, 2006 9:28 AM CDT
It is a beautiful fall morning here in Kearney - there is a gentle rain falling from the sky, the air is crisp and leaves are dancing around the yard...we are hopeful for rainbows today when the sun breaks through.
Lizzie is feeling good this morning! She had a good night's sleep and woke up pretty much pain-free. She hasn't used her oxygen all morning. Little gifts delivered...
Kaylie is sitting on Uncle Jeff's lap right now singing 'Sweet Elizabeth' to Lizzie. Such a wonderful picture they make.
Hope everyone has a good day - take a minute to dance in the rain and look for rainbows...
Sunday, October 8, 2006 8:58 AM CDT
Lizzie is doing well. She is feeling pretty good these days. After her big day on Friday she slept the rest of the afternoon. Yesterday we had a little Cyclones/Husker Football party. Leesa and Joy came over, Mr. Torson was here, and we even had a guest appearance from Elvis!! (Rumor has it he is a Kearney resident!) It was a fun evening, Grandpa and Grandma were here to support Joe as he was badgered by crazy Husker fans! (Anisa - Joe was disappointed in your silence!)
Even more Cyclone Fans are pouring into Kearney to support Joe - Uncle Jerry is here now, and Uncle Jeff and Aunt Lisa are on their way. Granny is coming tomorrow to help us celebrate Jessica's birthday on Thursday. We are looking forward to a fun week. Thanks for checking in on us!
Friday, October 6, 2006 9:40 AM CDT
Update: 1:19 PM
She did it! Lizzie won freshman royalty!! Yea!! She made it to the pep rally - it was tough, but she did it, LizzieStyle!! I wish every single one of you could have been there to see it! They called all the freshmen candidates out, annouced the parents, and then called out the winners! Lizzie received a standing ovation! I cannot tell you what that felt like, to look up and see everyone standing and clapping for our Lizziegirl! What a feeling - talk about friendship on fire!
Thanks KCHS - parents, students, staff, everyone, even you, Mr. Torson (even if you are a microphone hog!) :)
Congratulations to all the candidates! You all rock!
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"Love is friendship on fire."
This is a line from the movie 'A Perfect Man'. It is so appropriate for how we feel about our community, our school, all of you out there. We love you all.
I woke up this morning to the happy chatter of giggling kids and moms, decorating our yard. What a wonderful way to wake up - such joyous sounds. Friendship on fire.
Yesterday was a good day, Lizzie felt better and was pretty comfortable. Today she isn't feeling as great. She is thinking about going to the big Pep Rally at 12:30 - Father Matt pulled some strings and arranged for the Freshman Ceremony to take place then instead of after the game tonight. Hopefully Lizzie will feel up going.
Thanks to all of you for decorating our yard, and the band for stopping in front of our house and playing the fight song for Lizzie. You guys are the best!
Tuesday, October 3, 2006 6:36 PM CDT
Update:Wedneday, October 4 10:45PM CDT
Not a great day, in fact, a pretty lousy day. We put Lizzie on oxygen today, and moved her into an electric bed. Hard day, hard decisions. Thanks, Molly and everyone, for giving Lizzie a rainbow today, running all over town to do so, Steph for going shopping for a Futon, and the wonderful people who paid for it, and everyone, everyone who made this day as easy as possible on us.
Lindsey, thank you for bringing Lizzie the colors of the rainbow every day.
Thank you, every single one of you reading this, being in our lives on every level, and carrying us. Please pray for peace for Lizzie.
End of update.
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For the first time, I feel at a loss for words. I am exhausted, emotional, angry and sad...with wonderful moments of happiness thrown in. I feel like I keep saying the same things - Lizzie is hurting, Lizzie had an off day. Even a good day for Lizzie is a bad day for most. Yet, like John said, what he wouldn't give for some of those hard days back. So I put 'Friends' or Gilmore Girls on and snuggle in as close as I can to my Lizziegirl. Right now we just enjoy each and every single moment the very best we can. We have wonderful friends running around town, going to the grocery store, renting movies, taking Kaylie for the day, sweet classmates decorating our yard, and on and on...anything and everything to help us just enjoy this second. And for this second, right now, Lizziegirl is comfortable. Thank God.
One note of real happiness in our household right now...Elizabeth has been voted in as a candidate for Freshman Royalty. She's had the crown for a while, now she has a shot at the title! :) Friday is the big day, after the game there will be a ceremony and we will find out then if she receives the vote. It is such an honor, and I cannot thank all of you enough who voted. You guys just continue to be wonderful.
Another note of happiness, and an example of how connected we all are...remember our wonderful,ornery principal, Mr. Torson? His wife, Mrs. Torson, is our wonderful, ornery hospice nurse. Cosmic Connection? The Universe at work? Yet another Miracle thrown our way? Yep. Absolutely. We love them both, and they both love our Lizzie. Such a comfort for us, to have them both in our lives. And that is the last nice thing I say about you, Mr. Torson!! :)
It's almost time for Dancing with the Stars and Gilmore Girls. Time to snuggle in as close as I can to my Lizziegirl and enjoy this moment. On a serious note, I think it might be time for Jerry Springer to go home, and I hope Loralai comes to her senses and takes Luke back!!
Ok, so apparently I wasn't at a loss for words! Go figure!
Love you all...
Monday, October 2, 2006 7:15 PM CDT
It's Homecoming Week at KCHS! This morning we were greeted by a decorated yard, a 'girl' dressed up as a Superhero(the theme for the day), a sidewalk that had been 'chalked' and green stars leading from our house to the school. It appears some people have been very busy!! So cool, thanks everyone, for including Lizzie in the festivities!!! She loves it!!
Last night we were happily surprised to see Morgan Peters and her dad pull up into our driveway! Morgan painted a rainbow on Lizzie's fingers and toe nails, and just hung out while Matt played with Kaylie, Jess and Abby. It was so good to see them.
Today Uncle Jeff drove over from Des Moines. Funny story, and he asked me not to post this, but anyone who dishes it out like he does deserves a great big serving of it himself!!! So, this morning he is leaving bright and early, around 4 am, and gets to the gas station to fill up, and realizes he put on two different shoes!! He was afraid to face us like that (can't imagine why...) so he went home and changed. Okay, Anisa, it's all yours...
Charis came from Denver to spend the night with us. It's always so good to have her around.
Hannah, Kenzy and Rachel 'brought Lizzie some homework' from school. Lizzie really enjoyed their visit.
We had another visit with our hospice nurse. Lizzie is having an off day - not really hurting but not feeling good either. She feels like her throat is closing up, a very real possiblity considering where the tumor is. Please pray for peace for our sweet elizabeth. She just does not deserve this.
Thanks for checking in on us - we love you.
Saturday, September 30, 2006 1:27 PM CDT
Jimmy Weber came to see us today - it was so wonderful to have him here. He sang several songs to Lizzie, and he and Joe played a couple of songs together. He asked Lizzie to sign his guitar, which she did. He sang "Somewhere over the Rainbow" to her - wow - bring out the Kleenex. It was so beautiful. He also sang "Sweet Elizabeth", and some gospel songs he has recorded for a church in Omaha. It was unbelieveably awesome. Jimmy, thank you so much for coming to see us. We love you, and will be praying for a very safe trip overseas. You are the best.
Lizzie is still not feeling great. We just can't seem to get her comfortable. Poor thing, it's so hard to watch her struggle. She has been so brave, it just seems like she deserves some relief. Please God, wrap her in your arms and comfort her.
Please take a minute to stop by Jimmy's website and wish him well on his deployment to entertain our troups. Be safe, Jimmy!!
Friday, September 29, 2006 9:44 AM CDT
Last night we admitted Lizzie into the hospice program. It was a hard decision to make, but the right one. She is already more comfortable, and slept all night last night. Our hospice nurse is a tender soul whom we already love and trust. She told us her main goal is to ensure that every day is a good day for Lizzie. No matter what the future holds, she will help us LiveStrong, LizzieStyle!
We are loving hearing about all the rainbow sitings!! Thank you, thank you for sharing them with us! And thanks for being a rainbow to us.
Thursday, September 28, 2006 9:10 AM CDT
Like a rainbow, the past 24 hours has been full of vivid, unique colors. Yesterday afternoon Lizzie was having difficulties breathing. She got pretty scared and said she felt like something was changing, something was different. I held her, we talked, and after a while she felt better. Father Matt came over and sat with us, and that always makes Lizzie (and me) feel better. After he left, the girls came home from school, Karen and Molly came over, our sweet massage angel came over and worked on Lizzie for a while.
Then last night, Kenzy, Hannah and Rachel came over and had dinner with us. They watched Gilmore Girls, ate pizza, and talked. It was so, so good to have the girls here, laughing with Lizzie. Thanks, girls!!
During the night Lizzie started hurting again, and this morning she is in a lot of pain. Her arm hurts and she just cant get comfortable. So hard to watch her hurt so much. A nurse once told us that Lizzie has a very high pain tolerance, so to see her face scrunched up in pain, and the tears welling up in her eyes...it's too much.
Thank you for all the rainbow stories. We love to read about them. Thanks for being a color in our rainbow.
Lots of prayers our way today, please.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006 9:53 AM CDT
Good morning...just a few thoughts for the day...first and foremost, yes, last night was the season premiere of Gilmore Girls!! We TiVo-ed it and am sure will watch it several times today. There are several points that need some serious evaluation. Such as, why, why, didn't Lorelai hop in that truck and drive away with Luke?? What was she thinking?! Also, what was with Logan putting off a visit from Rory until Christmas?? Really, these are thoughts we must all ponder...
Second (and possibly last - be nice Jeff)thought for the day - I think we may have to rethink the 'ornery' status of Mr. Torson. He and Sister Debbie were going to allow some of Lizzie's classmates to come over during class to visit with Lizzie! As much as it pains me, I have to say, that was awfully sweet of him!! :) (Must of been Sister Debbie's influence!!)
However, due to the heavy load of drugs we are giving Lizzie these days, she was feeling a little too sleepy for a visit. She is very excited about seeing them tonight, though. They are planning on coming over and hanging out for a while. Such a good group of girls.
Well, as I am typing this, the mailman delivers a package from Joe's high school buddies. Inside there is a green (Lizzie's favorite color) license plate that says "I love Gilmore Girls - 'Oy with the poodles already'." Lizzie bursts into giggles, she remembers the scene clearly - it's apparently a Lorelai-ism. And a note from the guys..."Wouldn't want an unlicensed wheelchair at school! The principal might get mad! The Band"
Mr. Torson, I think you are getting a reputation!!
Thanks guys - you made Lizzie's day! Haven't seen her smile like that in a while.
She is still struggling with the pain a little. Today it's her right leg that is causing some problems. Looks like it's time for some Gimore Girls pondering and a massage for my Lizziegirl.
Have a great day!
Tuesday, September 26, 2006 9:34 AM CDT
Happy Fall everyone. This bible verse is Lizzie's favorite. She asked me to put it on her website. She is finally feeling good, pain-free for the most part. Unfortunately, all the drugs that make her feel better also make her so so tired. But at least she isn't hurting.
Lizzie also chose the background on her website, because of the crosses. She is such a spiritual young lady.
Not sure if she will make it to school this week, but she is really missing all her friends and is hoping to have them all come over sometime this week. What do you say, girls?
We are turning in her electric wheels today. It was so fun watching her scoot around, independently, but her right arm has grown weak and she just isn't able to drive it.
Thanks for checking in on us, we all love to read your sweet messages.
Saturday, September 23, 2006 8:44 AM CDT
Update: 9:30 pm
Just wanted to let everyone know how Lizzie's day went. After I updated, Joe and I decided to go outside and mow and tend to the yard. Lizzie thought she might want to try going outside for a little bit to enjoy the fresh, autumn-like air and sun. Joe wheeled her out, and she sat and watched him take down our sunflowers. After I finished mowing we decided to wash her hair, and after that she felt good enough to stay out a little while longer. We had all been craving pumpkin seeds, and Abby and I had bought a couple of pumpkins at the store yesterday, so we decided to carve those babies and roast the seeds. We all gathered around on the patio and dug in. According to Kaylie, "Lizzie doesn't have any hands, so she has to just watch us." So funny the way she perceives things. We were scrapping the other day, and we came across a picture of Lizzie starting middle school. Kaylie said, "Mommy look, Lizzie doesn't have any hair and SHE IS STANDING!" It made me realize that all of her memories are going to be of Lizzie with a halo, sitting on the couch.
Anyway, we sat outside, enjoying the warm sun, carving the pumpkin, and talking about fall. It was a great afternoon. She was pretty wiped out and was asleep by 7:30 tonight. Father Matt stopped by to check on her, and she woke up with a warm smile for her favorite friend. He brings her such comfort. So nice to have you around, Father Matt. Thank you for taking the time to be with us.
She seems to be feeling ok. We just gave her her meds - we are trying a new one on top of all the others tonight - and Joe is tucking her into bed. I'm praying for a good nights sleep for her.
Jess has a volleyball game tomorrow. She practiced so much today that her arms are bruised. We are so proud of you, JessieRose, for throwing yourself into this new territory and trying so hard. We know the game will go well, and you will have a great time.
Thank you all so much for checking in on us, and for caring so much for our Lizziegirl.
End of update.
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Update: Sunday 1:00 - Lizzie is still having some pain. She feels good for a while, then can't seem to get comfortable. She's not sleeping well at night. We'll see what happens today...
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Lizzie had another tough night. She was up around 1:00, then at 4:00 I heard her crying through the moniter. Joe went flying upstairs and grabbed her Lortab. She was in so much pain that she was panting. Joe got her medicine in her, then moved her arm around and got her in a more comfortable position.
The sound of my baby girl panting and crying through her pain. Joe flying up the stairs. All in the silence of early morning. What terrible sounds. God and I had it out. Why must my baby girl hurt so much? We go to church and read about the almighty, all-powerful God, and then you read one Caringbridge site after another, children hurting, suffering, dying slowly, or dying much too quickly. Why must they suffer? Why is the pain allowed?
Well, the storm cleared, Lizzie slept, and woke up smiling and happy. That girl just continues to amaze me. She greeted me with a smile and "what are we going to do today, Mama?" I had wanted to stay in bed, pull the covers over my head and stay there, but she wakes up eager for a new day. Right there, that is the Glory of God. There was suffering, but He pulled her through. And gave her a new day to reach out and grab, eagerly.
I still don't understanding the suffering, the pain, but I can see all the angels that God sends us to comfort us, to bring us through. All the prayers, the rainbows, the miracles. That is where we see Him. That is where He is breaking through the suffering and bringing comfort. I don't believe He wants us to hurt, but when we do, He sends us little rainbows with the promise of peace.
Here's hoping we can all reach out and grab our day, just like our Sweet Elizabeth.
We hope to get Lizzie rested up this weekend so she can go back to school on Monday. We have both missed seeing all those wonderful kids, the teachers, and maybe even that ornery principal...I don't know, THAT could be pushing it a bit!! :)
Have a glorious weekend! Go out and grab it, LizzieStyle!!
Thursday, September 21, 2006 12:36 AM CDT
update: Friday,12:40 pm
lizzie is more comfortable. the morphine increase only made her drowsy, but didn't do too much for the pain. joe and anisa worked out another plan to increase her nerve pain medicine, as well as increase her steroids and add another pain med. we will see what that does. as of right now she is feeling better. she has an ice pack on her arm, and had some streaks of pain radiating up and down her arm for awhile, but that seems to have subsided.
thanks to all of you who are watching over our sweet elizabeth. we love to read about all the 'rainbow sightings' and prayers. we couldnt do this without you.
end of update.
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update: 9:50pm
lizzie is still struggling with her pain levels. we have decided to increase her morphine, and if that isn't doing the trick by tomorrow afternoon, we will try something different.
it is so hard to watch her struggle through the pain. she is such a trooper, putting on a brave face in spite of it all. please, God, let her have a peaceful, restful night.
Once again, I want to say thank you thank you to our mighty molly. she came over today and finished a project i had started then couldn't finish, then brought us lunch. then, she went through abby and kaylie's clothes, organized them into seasons, folded and put them away, and cleaned their room. all you moms out there know what a HUGE job that is, yet she is reading this saying, "it was no big deal". then, as if that is not enough, she took on our insurance agency, dealing with a house problem, just so i wouldn't have to deal with it. molly, having you around today kept me from feeling alone and scared. having you on our side gives me strength and courage to face the day. thank you. we love you.
end of update.
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lizzie is feeling better. she woke up feeling good, then started hurting again. anisa called and we are working on some different pain control methods. lizzie is still hurting but more comfortable.
molly brought us lunch and ran some errands for us, grandma mac took kaylie, and lizzie and i are snuggled up on the couch, watching gilmore girls (thanks, steve!) and the rain fall from the sky.
thank you for all your prayers. keep em' coming. we have to make the decision to start hospice if we can't get lizzie's pain under control. really dont want to do that, please pray for guidance on our part as well as the doctors and pharmacists.
god bless you all.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006 9:55 AM CDT
update: 8:45 calling all our prayer warriors...lizzie is hurting...we have given her all the pain meds we can and she is still hurting. please pray for comfort and peace for our sweet elizabeth.
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Another red flag day...Lizzie is tired and her arm is still bothering her. She wasn't up for school today, so we are going to take it easy and watch some Gilmore Girls.
Jessica is on the volleyball team, and today will be her first game - GOOD LUCK, JESS! WE ARE CHEERING FOR YOU - CAN YOU HEAR US??? WE LOVE YA!! GO JESS!
Tuesday, September 19, 2006 10:44 AM CDT
Today is a red flag day. Lizzie has been sleeping all morning...she is pretty wiped out. Her arm is giving her some trouble too. So today will be a quiet day here.
For all you 'Gilmore Girls' Fans, today is the day! Season Six is in stores now!! Yea!
Monday, September 18, 2006 5:32 PM CDT
This sign can be found on the back door of Kearney Catholic. I think I recognize Mr. Torson's work...
Friday, September 15, 2006 11:09 AM CDT
Update: Saturday: Lizzie finally got to go to a football game! Some strong storms hit Kearney in the afternoon, and we thought for sure we would be staying home once again. But by 6:30 the clouds cleared, the sun came out, and the storm rolled on by. Abby attended a Starlet Dance Camp and got to do some cheers before the game and at half time. The last time we did that, Lizzie and Jessica participated and Abby was a baby, just 4 days old. This time, Jessica helped out the cheerleaders and Lizzie attended the game as a freshman...
It was a great game - KCHS won!! Lizzie was surrounded by a bunch of her friends - they giggled and talked for much of the second half. It was so neat to see her with a group of friends, laughing and chatting and being a freshman. Thanks, girls!! You are the best.
Have a great weekend!
End of Update.
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Today was a great day at school - we have one more reason to love Kearney Catholic. We had just sat down in Theology, and several football players came into the room and walked over to Lizzie. They thanked Lizzie for being a fan and presented her with a jacket that had 'KCHS Stars Football' on the front, and on the back they had the number 1 and 'Lizzie'. They told her that she was #1. The entire class started clapping. What a moment. Thanks, guys, for taking the time to do this for Lizzie. YOU guys are #1. Good luck tonight!!
After class the principal met us at the door again - this time he told Lizzie they had installed a security device in his office so he could 'keep on eye' on her at all times. I dont know about this guy...I think I will be keeping my eyes on HIM!
Lizzie is feeling "pretty good, a little tired, but happy." We are looking forward to a relaxing weekend.
I keep forgetting to say this...last week Steph and Lexi came over and painted our living room and dining room for us. It feels so good to have that done. Thanks, girls, so much!
God Bless and have a great weekend!
"Life is God's novel; let Him write it." -Isaac Bashevis Singer
Wednesday, September 13, 2006 4:02 PM CDT
Update: Thirty some-odd years ago tomorrow, my sweet mama had her fourth child (by far, the most superior one!). I just want to say, Happy Labor Day, Mama, and I love you.
For my birthday, Lizzie made the arrangements for me to have a massage done here at the house. She made sure Molly would have the girls, and asked our sweet massage therapist to work on me today. Am I the luckiest girl in the world, or what?
She is doing better. We came home today and snuggled on the couch all afternoon, watching Gilmore Girls and Friends. It was a wonderful day. I am so very blessed.
Please be nice to me, Uncle Jeff. As you can see, John has already given me a hard time...
End of Update.
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Lizzie is having a tough day...she made it to Theology but was ready to leave early. Her right arm has been bothering her, making it harder and harder to 'drive' her wheelchair. I had to do it for her going into school - usually she makes it through school and I have to drive home - so I knew she was hurting. She couldn't balance herself enough to 'sit up' during class, either. She just seemed off today. She told me she feels like she is losing the use of her hands. So here she is in class, feeling yet one more possible loss, and her teacher, Sister Debbie, comes up and asks her if she is having a tough time today. Lizzie smiles and says, "yes, but I feel good, so it's ok." Oh, Lizzie. I just wanted to swoop her unto my lap and rock her. She was hurting, and scared, yet put that brave face on and saw that the glass was half-full. I don't know how she does it.
I finally have one complaint about Kearney Catholic, and I'm afraid it's a big one. As we were going into class today, we were met by the principal, whom I had really liked up to this point. He said hi, and told Lizzie he was waiting for her today to make sure she didn't cause any trouble. I told him that I was back, no more Molly, and Lizzie would behave herself. You know what he said?? "Well, Lizzie, I guess you won't have as much fun today with mom back!" HUH??!! Wont have as much fun?? I am just as much fun as Molly! And to think I liked this guy! Just goes to show you, no school is perfect! :)
Monday, September 11, 2006 9:34 AM CDT
Update: The girls did great! Lizzie felt good all through both classes, and even took a test in English! I did hear, however, that the principal met them at the door and claimed that there had been reports of Lizzie doing 'wheelies' in the hall and leaving skid marks on the floor! Hmmm, Molly's influence, perhaps??
End of Update.
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Look out Kearney Catholic...Miss Molly Mac is back in high school!! Lizzie is feeling good and up to going to school today, and I had some things I had to do, so Molly agreed to take Lizzie for me. Good Golly Miss Molly! I'm not sure the walls will still be standing after today!! :)
Lizzie's pain has subsided and she is feeling better. Thank you all so much for your prayers and encouraging messages. Thanks for lifting us up once again.
I will update later after the two schoolgirls get home...
Saturday, September 9, 2006 9:42 AM CDT
Update: 4:06 pm Lizzie is not feeling very well again. This afternoon she started experiencing pain down her neck, spine, right arm. Please say an extra prayer for her that this pain passes.
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"These are the days we will remember..." What a great morning. We woke up to a beautiful rain. Lizzie is feeling better - her eyes have that beautiful twinkle in them once again. Kaylie climbed up into Lizzie's lap this morning and snuggled with her, while we remembered what was happening 3 years ago. Grandma and Grandpa looked through the girls scrapbooks that I have been putting together, and we talked about each of the girls births, baptisms, first communions, etc. Such a beautiful, easy morning. Such a great way to start off a birthday celebration.
Abby had a great time at her birthday party last night. Nine giggly little girls, running through the yards, tearing through the presents, and lovin' life! These are the days! One more party today, and then mama has the night off. Grandma and Grandpa are babysitting tonight so Joe and I can go on a date!
With all this rain, I am sure we will catch a few rainbows today! Hope you do too! God Bless!
Friday, September 8, 2006 2:43 PM CDT
Lizzie did not make it to school today - she's feeling tired and her arms are hurting. She's been napping for a while, so hopefull she will wake up refreshed and ready to help Abby celebrate her 8th birthday!
Wednesday, September 6, 2006 2:27 PM CDT
All is good in the Stratton home...Lizzie went to school today and did fine. Her arms and legs bother her if she is in the chair too long, but she gets through it. She really has gotten the hang of driving - you should see her zipping through the crowds at school! I'm pretty sure she is ready to tackle the mall now! As we were leaving school today the coach of the girls volleyball team stopped us and asked Lizzie if she would consider being on the team. She could sit in on meetings, go to the games and help keep score, etc. I'm not sure if Lizzie is up to it, but I was so touched by the generous offer. People just continue to open their arms and circle us in.
This feels like such a big week; Kaylie started preschool yesterday, she had her first day of dance class by herself today (we took a mom-and-me class last spring), and then the two big birthdays at the end of the week. Grandma Mae and Grandpa Wayne are coming in today to help celebrate with us. As I have said before, fall always has whispers of change on it's breezes, but this year it feels even more so. Jess will be helping with a CCD class this year, Abby is walking to school, Kaylie going to dance by herself, and Lizzie taking life by the horns, holding on tight. All of our little girls, growing up. Wow - Joe is REALLY getting old!! :)
Another change...I officially resigned from my job at Women's O & P. I haven't been to work in so long, and while Jim and Mandi would have let me stay on indefinitely, I didn't feel right doing that to them. I need and want to be here with Lizzie. However, I am grateful to Mandi for giving me such a great opportunity to work for her. I learned so much and made a great friend in the process.
Lizzie is busy reading and Kaylie should be home soon. Thanks for checking in on us! God Bless!
Monday, September 4, 2006 8:59 AM CDT
Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend. It sure feels like fall here. The girls and I love this time of the year; September is birthday month here at the Stratton house. Abby will be 8 on Friday and Kaylie will be a whopping 3 on Saturday. Yep. Two birthdays back to back - I will be busy this week baking cakes, decorating rooms and wrapping gifts! The excitement of the birthdays add to the wonderful chill in the morning air, the sound of dancing leaves as they fall to the grass, and feeling of something new in the air.
Lizzie is having a good weekend. Joe's brother Jerry and his family are here. The cousins have had a good time jumping on the trampoline, playing games on the playstation, and tossing the ball around in the backyard. Aunt Melissa and Uncle Jerry have kept Lizzie company inside. After her big day on Friday, she has been pretty worn out and too tired to go outside. It's been nice having everyone around. Yesterday Lizzie's 4th grade teacher surprised us with a visit. Mrs. Lewis moved to Oklahoma a few years ago, and we have missed her terribly. It was great to see her.
Hope everyone has a glorious week! Go catch that rainbow...
Saturday, September 2, 2006 10:57 AM CDT
What a night! First of all, congrats KCHS!! They won their first game! And, they had to play in a downpour! Way to go, guys!
Molly, Eric, Annie and Liza met us at our house around 5:30 so we could walk over to the game together. It started raining as we walked down to the school. They had moved the pregame party inside, so we ate dinner and had a great time meeting new families. This is such a great school - it really is more like a big family. So many people came up to us last night to welcome us. Lizzie received lots of 'hi's' and waves, some friends stopped by to talk to her for a few minutes, and Jess was swept away by a group of girls not long after we got there. We didn't see much of her until after the game. Father Matt took a break from serving hamburgers to come over and sit with us for a while, and Mr. Torsen, the principle, sat and visited with Lizzie while he ate his supper.
Because of the rain we decided not to go to the game; we weren't sure how an electric chair would do wet, and Joe and Eric didnt really want to sit in the rain... :) Anyway, we set out to leave - Jody Heeney loaned us her umbrella to cover Lizzie with, and she and the guys took off ahead of us. In the meantime, Liza, Annie, Abby and Kaylie had discovered a puddle of water just outside the gym. They had shed their shoes and were dancing in it and laughing and just having the best time. It was pouring rain and they were spashing, waving their arms around and throwing their heads back to catch a raindrop. Molly and I got caught up in their spirit and caught a few puddles of our own on our walk home! We all fell into the house a wet, giggly mess!
After we got home and changed into dry clothes, the little girls went downstairs and watched a movie, and the rest of us sat around listening to the game and visiting. We live close enough to the school that we could hear the cheers coming off the field. Father Matt stopped by after the game. Jess got home soaking wet but very happy. It was such a great night, with so many unexpected adventures tucked into the evening. These are the days we will remember...
Friday, September 1, 2006 10:51 AM CDT
Lizzie has wheels! Electric wheels! Look out Kearney - she's motorized and mobilized!! Yesterday her electric wheelchair was delivered and she used it to go to school this morning. She did great. It was funny watching her 'drive' down the hallways at school...it was the parting of the Red Sea all over again! After English class I stayed to talk to Mr. Ross for a minute and I look over, and Lizzie is gone! She was already out in the hallway, making her way through the crowds! This morning she wheeled herself over to the door and waved goodbye to Joe. It's so wonderful, watching her gain some independence again.
We are looking forward to going to the first football game tonight, and the tailgate party beforehand. Good luck tonight, Kearney Catholic!
Have a great weekend!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006 1:32 PM CDT
She did it! Another school day! She did great...in English the class has to read 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. Being the hungry reader Lizzie is, she was very excited to get her book today.
Last night we had bible study and one of the 'bullet points' in our workbook had a statement that struck me, and I wanted to share it with you..."Those God uses greatly seem to greatly battle fear." Lizzie is all over that statement. God certainly is using her for greatness; she is a true light that is shining for so many people. How many times has someone written here on her site how they are strengthened by her courage, carried by her strength, and enlightended to God's presence? She truly is a 'mighty miracle', a big bundle of toughness all packed into a little body that has been through war. Her journey has not been easy, yet she faces fear head on, battling mightily, gracefully, and powerfully. Lizzie is our gladiator, leading us toward God and heaven.
As strong as Lizzie is, and she is so strong, her battle could not be fought without her army behind her...all of you out there, checking on us, feeding us, praying with and for us...you are all our armor, our swords and our shields. Thank you for fighting this battle with us. You make our Lizziegirl strong. God is using Lizzie for greatness, and through YOUR greatness she is strong.
Monday, August 28, 2006 11:58 AM CDT
Yesterday was Grandpa Wayne's birthday - hope you had a great day, Grandpa!! We'll have a party for ya when you are here next!!
Also, I think I left one very important person out of the 'thank you's' for the Gilmore goodies...Annie, thank you so much for making that happen! Lizzie loves all of her goodies!
Lizzie made it to school today. We went a little early and took a couple of AR tests in the library, then on to class. By the end of Theology her legs were hurting but we decided to try English. We stayed for about half the class and she just couldn't take it anymore, she was in a lot of pain, so we came home and got her comfy on the couch and Lortab-ed up. She is resting now, still a little uncomfortable but better.
It's a wonderful fall-feeling day in Kearney...we have leaves falling in our backyard, the air is crisp and it smells like rain. What a glorious day!
Anisa and Grannie, see photos to answer your question. :)
LiveStrong, everyone!
Saturday, August 26, 2006 7:38 PM CDT
We have had a busy few days...Thursday afternoon Charis drove over from Denver. We had a great time visiting with her; we have missed her so much since she moved. Friday morning Lizzie woke up feeling really tired and a little off, so we didn't go school. Instead we just took it easy, watching Friends and Gilmore Girls. Jess was home also, not feeling well since Wednesday. Then in the afternoon we received a package from yet another wonderful angel out there; a goodie bag full of 'Gilmore Girls' stuff!! An autographed picture of Rory and Lorelai Gilmore, or Alexis Bledel and Lauren Graham, with a really sweet message from both ladies!! Also, some cute 'Dragonfly Inn' shorts and a 'Gilmore Girls' top, and a shooting script!! Needless to say, that perked Lizzie up a little! Thank you Janice, Shawna, Jolie, Alexis, Lauren, and everybody else that made this happen!
Today Lizzie and I decided we wanted to get out of the house for awhile, so we went up to Hobby Lobby and Hastings, and then went downtown and had lunch at the French Cafe. We hit a couple more stores and then came home. It was a great day.
Jess is feeling better, but not looking forward to all that homework that she faces!
Thanks for checking in on us!
Wednesday, August 23, 2006 4:12 PM CDT
This quote above Lizzie's picture is one that David Schwimmer e-mailed to her. I think it fits Lizzie pretty well.
She had a great day in school. Her theology class seems tailor-made just for her - we...I mean they...are studying sacramental awareness. It's all about learning how to stop and smell the roses, being aware of God around you and in every part of life. It's a great class with some terrific lessons.
In English the kids took a spelling test today, and we discovered that both Lizzie and Abby are studying homophones (is it bad that I may have spelled that wrong?? sorry, Mr. Ross!) Abby was delighted, and Lizzie somewhat horrified, to learn that they had some of the same words! Abby thought she was pretty hot stuff to be a 3rd grader with freshman words!! :)
Walking home after school Lizzie was saying spaghetti sounded good for lunch. I told her we didn't have any, but since we were already walking, we keep just keep on walking and 'run up' to the store. haha Did I mention I was kidding? She thought that sounded pretty good, though. Again, walking!!! But she was serious, so that is what we did. Just walked on up to SunMart and bought way too many groceries that I had to carry back! I'm pretty sure we made a funny sight - Lizzie bouncing around in the wheelchair and me juggling three sacks, trying to keep the wheelchair on the sidewalk and Lizzie in the chair! It was fun, giggling our way along 2nd Avenue! And, I earned my right to a big bowl of pasta!
Lizzie is getting a massage right now and the house is quiet, so I am going to scrapbook.
Thanks for checking in on us! God Bless!
Monday, August 21, 2006 2:52 PM CDT
Lizzie has another school day under her belt. We walked into the building and were met with several smiling faces and friendly hellos. We even got to see Jessica in the hall! Lizzie eagerly attacked her assignments and is ready to tackle her homework now.
Colleen took Kaylie today. She had a lot fun eating lunch at 'Donald's' and swimming at the pool. Lizzie and I had a quiet, restful afternoon. We ordered Jimmy Johns and watched Gilmore Girls. Not sure if life gets much better than that!
God Bless!
Sunday, August 20, 2006 8:28 PM CDT
For English Lizzie had to write a paper on who she is. I wanted to share it with everyone...
My name is Lizzie Stratton and I am a four and a half year cancer survivor, and I am going to tell you about myself.
I was born fourteen years ago on May twelfth in Ely, Nevada to Joe and Sami Stratton. I have three younger sisters: Jessica, who is eleven, Abby, who is seven and Kaylie, who is two. I have three cats named Miracle, Shadow, and Salem. We have lived in Kearney for eight years.
When I was nine years old, I was diagnosed with a rare liver cancer called hepatoblastoma, a cancer normally found in boys under three. I then started an intensive twelve weeks of chemotherapy. I had the first of six surgeries in July of 2002 to remove the tumor on my liver. Ever since then, I have had many more chemotherapies and surgeries. Because of my cancer, I have met many wonderful people. One person is a fellow cancer survivor, who helped me and my family start something called the C.A.R.E. fund, which stands for cancer awareness and relief effort. My friend Rachel and I make bracelets and sell them to raise money for this fund. We use the money raised to make a "survival kit" for cancer patients at the local cancer center. In the survival kit are gas cards, food cards, a notebook, a calendar, an angel visor clip, and biographies and pictures of Rachel and I. I really like doing this because I know how much it helps people.
Some of my hobbies include reading, writing, and scrapbooking. I have read all of the Harry Potter books multiple times, and also enjoy the Nancy Drew series. I also enjoy science fiction novels and would say fiction is my favorite type of book. However, I like to read any type of book. Currently I am working on a scrapbook that I'm filling with my favorite quotes and verses. My favorite verse is "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." These are the things I like to do in my spare time.
Over the past four and a half years, I have learned a lot of great life lessons and have grown deeper in my faith. I have learned to live every day to its fullest, and to enjoy everything 10 times more than you normally would. I have also grown closer to the Holy Mother. My family and I draw a great strength and comfort from Mary and the rosary. We even collect statues of Mary. In our front yard we have a statue of Mary with two rosebushes behind it. It looks really neat!
I like to spend time with my family and friends and love to eat. My favorite food is spaghetti. I like roses and my favorite animal is a cat. I also like seafood, school, and television. My favorite television show is Gilmore Girls. My favorite school subjects are History and English. My least favorite subjects are Geography and PE. I don't like most kinds of nuts and I hate bananas. I also don't like bugs, sushi and fighting of any kind.
My goal for life is to it impact and change as many people's lives as I can. I want as many people as possible to know how important it is to enjoy life as much as possible. I feel like I'm supposed to help people to see how important it is to enjoy what you have when you have it. I love helping people, and I think the more people, who can enjoy their lives more the better the world will be. I believe that you never know when things can change, so you need to enjoy things while you have them. Carpe diem, or seize the day!
My name is Lizzie Stratton, and this is who I am.
Friday, August 18, 2006 10:53 AM CDT
Warning...long, emotional journal entry...
YEA, Elizabeth!! You did it!!
I have so many thoughts, please bear with me. I have so much to say, I would use Lizzie's speaking program if I thought it could keep up with me...
I have to say it...I love Elizabeth. She has such a positive energy about her, and carries herself with such grace. She successfully attended her first day of classes as a freshman! And what a day! There was yet another mix-up in class times, so we got to school and were told that 3rd peroid had already started. yikes. Now we have to walk in late. Which we did...the kids were quietly writing at their desks, and in we come....quickly get to our seats, and all is well. Theology first. There was a lecture, I took notes, we did the assignment, class dismissed. All good. On to the next class, English now, and this time we are one of the first in the room. We go to the back, hoping to go unnoticed. Ha! When do Stratton girls ever go unnoticed? (easy, Jeff) A couple of girls approach us and introduce themselves...wow. When I was a freshman (the first time) it was uncool to have a name, much less tell someone what it was! Ok, so far so good. In walks Mr. Ross, whom we have already met and been briefed on by Molly, who knows him. Right off the bat, he comes over and takes Lizzie away from me and moves her into the front of the room. He wants her to introduce herself, tell everyone what she likes to do and what her favorite subject is. Ok. Lizzie just wanted to kind of melt into the crowd. Did I mention we sat in the back of the room? I'm shaking in my seat, knowing Lizzie is well aware of her puffy cheeks and tummy, and not feeling too good about her apearance these days, and there she sits, front and center, facing her new classmates. What does she do? Rises to the occasion, of course! She smiles that thousand watt smile, tells everyone her name and some info about herself. Then Mr. Ross says before everyone else itroduces themselves to her he wants to open up the room for questions. Does anyone have anything they'd like to ask Liz? Ohhhh. I want to run up to the room, grab her and flee the building. The first hand goes up, I hold my breath, waiting for the obvious, painful, why are you wearing that thing, why are you in a wheelchair, why is your mom with you...The young lady smiles and asks..."When is your birthday?" What? Did she just ask that harmless question? The next one, what is your favorite color? huh? I bury my hands in my head and want to start bawling. I love these kids!!! They are asking normal, everyday questions, making Lizzie feel totally at ease. They are getting to know her. Her. Not the cancer. Her. I love these kids. And I love Mr. Ross. He knew how to make us feel welcomed and part of class right off the bat. It was a great great day. The kids showed nothing but compassion and kindness. The classes were interesting and the teachers were wonderful. We can do this! We are doing this! Yea, Elizabeth!!
One more thing I want to say...Good Golly Miss Molly...Our Mighty Molly Mac, who is walking beside us so closely on this journey, step for step. She helped get us down the ramp and out the door, leaving us with a funny story this morning to help still our nerves. Molly, who has taken Kaylie for the day so Lizzie and I can rest this afternoon, and will have Kaylie on Wednesdays and Fridays as long as we need her. Molly, who has arranged meals to be brought in Monday-Friday so I don't have to worry about cooking. Molly, who matches me tears for tears when we have a bad day, and a good day. Molly, we could not do this with out you. We love you. Thank you.
Time for lunch and Gilmore Girls! Have a great day! Thanks for all the great messages, and for walking beside us on this journey.
One more thing...aunt lisa - we will have that iowa corn tomorrow. I'm sure it will be good, but won't match Nebraska's sweet corn! Go Big Red!! :)
Thursday, August 17, 2006 5:23 PM CDT
Lizzie just had a massage and is resting. We have an angel who has floated into our lives and offered to give Lizzie massages twice a week. She is a wonderful sweetheart who wants to remain unnamed, so I will respect her wish...but I want to say how wonderful she makes Lizzie feel and how much we appreciate her.
Last night Gas-Station-Steve, Kellie and the boys drove over from Omaha. Their son Jake is a cancer survivor and went through treatments the same time as Lizzie. It was wonderful getting to see them. Steve brought Lizzie a bag full of his favorite gas station foods...nachos, beef jerky, mountain dew...yum! They sat with the girls while we took Abby to Open House. Abby loves her teacher and classmates and was very excited about her first day of school. Jessica had a great second day today, and is looking forward to her first back-to-school dance tomorrow night. We may have to lock Daddy Joe in a room - not sure he will let her go...
Joe's Aunt Lois and Uncle Denny came to see us today. They live in Iowa and drove over for the night. They brought with them some Iowa sweet corn from Uncle Jeff and Aunt Lisa...I guess we will see if it as good as Nebraska's - don't count on it!!
Lizzie is a little anxious about going to school tomorrow. Please send her encouraging thoughts in the morning. We will go from 9:15-11:00.
We love you all!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006 11:21 AM CDT
Lizzie's first day of high school! So many emotions running through my mind and heart. She was in the 4th grade when she was diagnosed. Here she is, starting high school. I feel sad that she is still battling, still suffering...grateful that she is still here, and wants to go to school...sad and angry that we have to dress her and send her to her first day in a wheelchair, yet still so very grateful that she is here with us. Wouldn't trade this moment, yet envisioned her freshman year so differently.
And then there is Jessica. I didn't know someone could look so good in a uniform. I just have to say it - the girl is gorgeous. Her hair is so long, her legs are tanned and endless, and her eyes twinkled with excitement as she walked out the door. I have never seen her so confident on the first day of school. My baby girl is growing up.
I love Kearney Catholic. Father Matt met us in the office and after we got Lizzie's schedule he showed us around, introducing us to teachers and students. He took us into a few classrooms and wow do those kids respond to him. It was so impressive to watch him walk into a room and see the kids stop what they were doing and give him their full attention, yet at the same time feel easy enough to joke around with him. The teachers were all so nice, and students approached Lizzie with smiles and greetings. We took her into the library and got her started in the accelerated reading program, which she will love. The library was cool and quiet and allowed Lizzie some time to rest and regroup. I am still amazed that she is doing this. She has so much on her plate right now, and it took real effort to get her there this morning, emotionally and physically, yet she fought for it. She truly is our gladiator.
Somehow the schedules got mixed up and our timing was off, so by the time 3rd period started (Liz will go to 3rd and 4th period classes) Lizzie was pretty tired, so we came home. So she didn't actually go to her classes, but put in a good first day nonetheless. Friday we will try it again, knowing the schedule a little better. It is nice that we live so close to the school - you can literally see the back door from our front steps. I watched Jess walk into the building this morning. There is something about knowing that she is right there, instead of dropping her off and driving away.
After our full morning Father Matt walked us home - it was very comforting having him right there with us, knowing he was there to help. He and Lizzie have become pretty special friends.
Miss Lizzie is ready for lunch and Gilmore Girls - better go! God Bless!
Monday, August 14, 2006 9:09 AM CDT
Happy Monday, everyone! Hope everyone had a great weekend. It rained here in the morning, which makes us all break out into song..."it's raining on sunday, stormin' like crazy..." Speaking of which, Aunt Lisa and Kensy, no worries...our beloved KU still has his lustrous locks! He is even using hair gel these days!! hehe (I'm probably in trouble for posting that!)
Lizzie is feeling good...her right arm was bothering her yesterday, which, of course, makes us all a little anxious, but she is feeling better today. We talked about it and realized that she has been using that arm quite a bit, writing, reading, eating, etc. So it is hopefully just muscle soreness.
Lorie Miller posted a song a few days ago, 'Angels Among Us' by Alabama. We have always loved that song but had forgotten about it. After reading her post, Lizzie started giggling. Strange reaction...apparently it sparked a memory of one of our many trips to Omaha. We were nearing Lincoln and listening to Froggy 98, the country station in Lincoln. Lizzie was anxious about her check-up and asked Joe to call in and request 'Angels Among Us'. We were all quiet, nervous and a little stressed. He gets through to the request line and says, "would you play 'Angels in the Outfield'?" Lizzie and I catch his mistake and burst into giggles. He doesn't understand why we are laughing, and is a little annoyed, and then the lady on the phone starts laughing and corrects him. He gets this little embarrassed smile, mumbles something Joe-style, and hangs up. Lizzie and I are still in fits, chanting, Angels in the outfield?!?! We never did get to hear the song, but the tension in the van eased up quite a bit after that!
Thank you, Lorie, for reminding us of that moment and making Lizzie smile!!
Hope everyone has a glorious day!
Sunday, August 13, 2006 0:32 AM CDT
This is a picture of Lizzie when she was about 8 years old. It's a picture of a picture, so the date is wrong, and there is a glare, but I wanted to share it with everyone. I love her beautiful smile...
Today was a good day. Joe took Lizzie and the girls outside before it got so hot and picked tomatoes, then sliced them and put them in the dehydrater. That is Abby's favorite snack. Kaylie, Abby and Lizzie ate as many as Joe dried, and were sopping wet with juice by the time they were done! After that Lizzie decided the sun and fresh air felt pretty good so she stayed out for awhile while Joe did some 'honey-do's'. She was pretty wiped out tonight and went to bed early.
I've said it before, but thank you all so much for all your wonderful messages. Lizzie sat at the table in her wheelchair this morning, reading through what you all have written, and she just smiled the whole time. Thank you. You bring us joy and hope.
Friday, August 11, 2006 4:03 PM CDT
Miss Lizzie is taking her second nap of the day, and Kaylie is resting as well, so I have a few minutes to update. I've been wanting to write about this subject for awhile, and this seems like a good time.
Some time ago our sweet friend, Steve Lazoritz, suggested to Lizzie the idea of making rosaries. His wife knew how to make them, and she would be able to teach Lizzie. She thought that sounded like a good idea, so Steve's wife came to the clinic one day while Lizzie was receiving a treatment. She brought different colors of beads, as well as all the other supplies needed. It didn't take long for Lizzie to get the hang of it, and she was off and running. She has made many, many rosaries since, giving them out to our troops overseas, friends in Nevada for a donation for the C.A.R.E. fund, and many others.
A few weeks ago Molly's parents, Jim and Kathleen, (who have become our kid's Kearney grandparents) were planning a trip to Africa and asked Lizzie if she would make rosaries so they could hand them out as gifts. It was about that time that Lizzie was losing use of her hands and was unable to do this, so Grandma Mae, Grandpa Wayne and Jessica decided to be Lizzie's 'hands'. They made about 20 rosaries, and then had Lizzie pray over them. These were the rosaries we gave to Kathleen and Jim. They passed out all but one rosary, keeping the last one for a reason they weren't sure of. They packed up the rosary in their bag, and then, again for reasons they weren't sure of, at the last minute, took it out and put it in their carry-on bags. The rest of the story will be in Kathleen's words...
"On our very long way home we got delayed in Chicago at the airport. We were visiting with a man that strangely was from South Africa, now a U.S. citizen and living in Florida while traveling to Nebraska on business. While visiting he told us about his ten year old daughter who was very, very sick and how he and his family were dealing with it. He had a great faith in God and shared some of his thoughts. He told us he especially found comfort in the scriptural reading of Matthew 18, verse 10. I told him about a very special young lady named Elizabeth. I gave him the last rosary that I had with me...
So they were delivered to many, thousands and thousands of miles away.
Lizzie you touch so many people. These are only some of them."
Why did Kathleen and Jim hold onto that last rosary? What made them take it out of their bags and keep it with them? Why would they meet someone from Africa in the Chicago airport who has an ill child?
Look, closely, and you will see angels all around...
Thursday, August 10, 2006 4:46 PM CDT
As you all have read, Jolie and I threw a surprise slumber party for the girls last night! We had matching jammies, every kind of junk food there is, movies, nail polish, music (Jolie Edwards, of course!) and lots of giggles and silliness! We had a lot of fun...John, you will be happy to know that Joe survived all the girls, he even maintained a firm sense of masculinity! His nails remained unpainted, he escaped the pigtails, and no make-up was applied!! We didn't stay up all night, so it really was a 'slumber' party!!
Lizzie is pretty worn out from all that partying, but in good spirits. We took it easy today, watching several episodes of 'Friends'. Sadly, we have finished watching all of the episodes of Gilmore Girls, and have to wait until Tuesday nights now. I'm pretty sure we are suffering from withdrawal!! One night a week, and only a measley hour!!
Jolie - thanks for driving out and spending time with us! You are missed already! We love you!!
Wednesday, August 9, 2006 11:30 AM CDT
Tomorrow there is a benefit for Children's Hospital at Village Pointe Shopping Center from 5-9 p.m. Tickets are $25 per person, 10 and under are free. Lizzie's plate will be for sale, there will be a street fair, magic show, fall fashion show starring some 'Shining Stars' and fellow fighters from Children's, a silent auction and food sampling. It will be a great time for a great cause. You can call 402-955-6851 for more information.
Yesterday went really well. We have decided that Lizzie will go to school 3 days a week from 9:30-11:30. She will take Theology and English in school and do independant study for the rest of the subjects. They are being very accomodating and compassionate. We loved Sunrise Middle School, the staff and students, and are sad to be leaving them, but are looking forward to our new adventure at Kearney Catholic.
Jolie is coming today, we are looking forward to a fun time with her. Lizzie is feeling good and ready for some quality Jolie-time.
Tuesday, August 8, 2006 8:16 AM CDT
This is another collage of Lizzie - did you notice that beautiful smile in every picture? She has always had that beautiful smile...
Yesterday Carolyn came over and watched Narnia and scrapbooked with us. We made a page for Jaci, a page for Carolyn, and then I took Marianne's advice and made a page of Lizzie's baptism. It was a pretty emotional day, I think Carolyn and I cried throughout most of it. Today we have a meeting with the principal of Kearney Catholic, Jessica and Lizzie's school. Lizzie thinks she wants to try going to school. This just blows my mind. She gets tired so easily, needs assistance with every move she makes, and has been told she can skip school this year, and yet she wants to go! Her determination and will is just amazing! One more amazing thing; she has asked me, her mama, to go with her and be her 'hands'. At the age where most kids are wanting to pretend they don't have parents, Lizzie is asking me to 'tag along'! I am so honored. Do you think they make uniforms for 30-somethings-year-olds? BE NICE, UNCLE JEFF!
Hope you all have a wonderful day! Happy Birthday, Papa Rod! Big hugs from Nebraska!!
Sunday, August 6, 2006 1:22 PM CDT
Update: I just found out it is/was also FunRob's birthday...you know, the crazy Crane guy from 6th floor!! Happy Birthday Rob! I hear you are the Krane King now! I may make you prove that!! hehehe
If you can, please stop by haleygirl's site (ne/haleygirl): Patti posted a beautiful picture of our Lizziegirl and her wonderful Camp friends. Always thinking and praying for you, Patti and family!
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This page is of Elizabeth Mae when she was a baby. I got this idea to put together a few collages so everyone could catch a glimpse of our Lizziegirl. Her light has always shown; when she was less than a year old and we would go into the grocery store, she would reach out and grab somebody's attention, even then a deep soul able to capture one's heart. People would start talking to her and just be mesmerized by the light in her eyes. Joe said "She is going to change people; I don't know how, but she is." Boy has she.
Today is Anisa's birthday...Happy Birthday, Anisa!!
Friday, August 4, 2006 8:59 AM CDT
Good morning! This is Lizzie and I'm giving it another try! Hopefully it will go well! :-).
Yesterday, as you know, we went to Hobby lobby and Hastings. It felt good to get out of the house, and it was really fun. I got four new books in a series that I'm reading, and I started one this morning. They are really good!
Today, I think my friend Eileen is coming over to make a scrapbook page with me. That will be fun! Other than that, I'm not sure what we are going to do. Probably watch Gilmore girls! :-).
Well, I hope everyone has a good day! Remember to enjoy every second of every day.
Love,
Lizzie
Thursday, August 3, 2006 2:47 PM CDT
We went shopping today! We are working on a special project for 'Gas-Staion-Steve' and Father Matt and needed to go to the store. So all five of us Stratton girls got Lizzie in the van and went up to Hastings and Hobby Lobby. It took way more energy than I remembered...2 year olds can really move fast! But we did it, and now we are recovering with a few episodes of, what else...Gilmore Girls!
We had a great day yesterday with Anisa and her kids. Lizzie and Anisa made 3 scrapbook pages (which Joe wasn't too happy about those last two, Anisa!!) :> Abby and Kaylie sweet-talked the kids into playing cards with them. Actually, we kinda shamed Brian into playing cards; it was that or Barbies! hehe It was fun to see Anisa as 'mom' instead of 'nurse'.
Well, better get to work on those projects! Have a great day!
Wednesday, August 2, 2006 8:28 AM CDT
LIZZIE CAUGHT A RAINBOW!! It rained here last night, and then this big, beautiful rainbow appeared in the sky! Joe picked Lizzie up and carried her outside so she could see it. I don't ever remember seeing so many rainbows before, especially not this time of the year. In the 8 years we have lived here July/August are the driest times of the year. But this year we have seen several rainbows. Hmmmm, the mama in me is saying these are just for my Lizziegirl! :)
She is feeling much better. She was able to get more comfortable last night and slept well. She is up smiling, reading her bible, looking forward to seeing Anisa. It is supposed to rain some more today, maybe we'll see another rainbow!
Hey Jeff - I think I'll take another shower today...two days in a row!!! I don't like to brag, but I'm smellin' pretty good these days!
Please visit villagepointeshopping.com to see the 'Children's Hospital Shining Stars' flier featuring Lizzie and several other 'fellow fighters'. August 10th is the benefit for the hospital.
Tuesday, August 1, 2006 10:47 AM CDT
Update: From now on Uncle Jeff will be banned from the website due to his very bad behavior. And by the way, I do shower daily, and that pain in the ___ has his name written all over it!! Apparently someone hasn't had his happy pill today!
Please keep Sister Mary in your prayers. She was recently diagnosed with luekemia and will begin aggressive treatment in Chicago. Sister Mary is a breast cancer survivor who was being treated the same time Lizzie was receiving her radiation treatments at the Kearney Cancer Center. She has become a dear friend. We love you, Sister Mary, and are holding you in prayer.
I have had several requests to see the sunrise page, so I tried to download it...the glare from the page makes it hard to see, but maybe you can at least get the idea.
Lizzie is feeling pretty tough today. She tried updating the website with her DragonSpeaking program, 'wrote' a whole page, then somehow it all got deleted before she could post it. Then while I was in the shower, her leg started hurting and she couldn't move it, so she got scared, feeling alone and in pain. Needless to say, I won't let that happen again. She is feeling defeated today, and the pain in her leg is preventing her from getting comfortable.
Last night Gail and Schy came over and Gail massaged Lizzie's legs and feet for a while. Her feet get so swollen and tender. Thanks, Gail...she really enjoyed the extra TLC!
Abby is at work with Joe and I have to take Jessica to the doctor for her 7th grade physical today, so Molly is coming to hang out with Lizzie and Kaylie. Tonight we start a new bible study and we are doing it here at the house so Lizzie can participate. She's really looking forward to it.
Thanks for checking in on us - God Bless!
Sunday, July 30, 2006 11:49 AM CDT
This morning in church Father Matt told us that God doesn't come into our lives to necessarily heal our physical ills or take away our troubles; instead He sends an abundance of spiritual blessings and miracles to comfort us in our times of need. Wow. Did Father speak right to us or what? While Lizzie has not been healed, we have definitely been sent an abundance of spiritual blessings and miracles...all of you checking in on us, lifting us up with prayer. Lizzie able to paint rainbows and roses. Mary's presence in our lives. Nurses that have turned into dear friends. Friends that have become like family. Family that travel hours and miles just to sit with us and give us comfort. Surgeons that have appeared after we were told the tumor was in a place that couldn't be operated on, giving us more precious time with Elizabeth. The list is long, so miraculously, blessedly long...and continues to grow by the minute.
One example of a miracle...(this is a long story - bear with me) one afternoon we were showing Father Matt Lizzie's scrapbook. We came across a page that Karen Carlson had done with Lizzie. They had chosen a picture of a sunset that Joe and I had taken in Hawaii one night. The girls were tired from a long day and wanted to watch tv. Joe and I decided to walk down to the cliff and watch the sun go down. It was a 3-minute walk from our room, so we left Jess in charge, grabbed a bottle of wine, and off we went. We had just taken a picture of the beautiful sunset when Jess came running over to us. Lizzie was in a lot of pain and needed some pain meds. We went running back to the room to find her grasping her rosebud rosary. She was hurting so badly and praying the rosary, asking Mary to help ease her pain.
The last night we were in Hawaii we were watching another sunset and I remembered being told once that if you pray to Mary while taking a picture of a sunset, she will appear in the picture.
When Karen and Lizzie were making their page, Jess noticed a pink heart in the middle of the sunset. We commented on how pretty it was, and Karen even mentioned something about it when she signed the back of her page. That was the last we thought of it, until a couple of weeks later; as we are showing Father Matt the page, Joe gets up and runs downstairs. He comes back up with a picture of Mary. In the center of Mary is the Immaculate Heart. The same heart that is in our sunset picture. The rays are the same, the heart is identical. While we were taking that picture, Lizzie was pleading with Mary, and she appeared to us. The Immaculate Heart of Mary...just one example of a mighty miracle and blessing in our lives.
Thank you all for being one of our blessings and miracles.
Saturday, July 29, 2006 8:46 AM CDT
WOW. You all are amazing. Thank you all for your wonderful, supportive, understanding messages. You have no idea what they all mean to me.
Yesterday was a nice, quiet day. Karyn took the girls to the park in the morning, so Lizzie and I got in a few minutes of Gilmore Girls. We are becoming true junkies; we need a hit every day!! Gail took the girls swimming around 1:30 and Molly came and sat with Lizzie so I could do some shopping - Andy, I used the gift certificate from Hobby Lobby to buy some sb supplies. Father Matt stopped by and we talked him into staying for supper (Annie, the spaghetti was yummy - good job!). It was just a nice, easy day.
Lizzie slept well last night. She is reading her bible right now and feeling good.
Today is Uncle Jeff's birthday - 29 again!! Have a great day, UJ! We love ya!
Friday, July 28, 2006 8:23 AM CDT
Hello everyone...sorry I haven't updated in a couple of days. Hard to believe it's been a week already since we "got jacked up on caffeine and drove across yards"!
Lizzie has had a busy couple of days. On Wednesday some Camp CoHoLo friends drove over and made a scrapbook page with her. Paige, Kayla and Morgan each made a friends page. It was so nice to see them, but a little bittersweet seeing those beautiful, healthy girls laughing about camp, and seeing Lizzie sitting there, unable to feed herself, or walk, or hold a book anymore. I'm afraid I was completely selfish and didn't enjoy the visit; instead I felt sorry for myself and my family. I'm not proud of that. I am so happy for all the wonderful, healthy kids our there that beat the horrible cancer beast, yet a small part of me screams, why not Lizzie too? Or Haley, or Skylar, or so many of those little angels that are dancing in heaven right now? I just want to say I'm sorry to Paige, Kayla, Morgan and their moms for not being around while you were here. I appreciate you wanting to be with Lizzie, and making that drive over, and for your friendship.
Yesterday Sarah, Katelyn, Jessa, and Logan came over and made a page, and last night Theresa brought us dinner and made a F.R.O.G. page. We have started a second book, by the way. The scrapbook project is quickly becoming like the cranes, anyone who comes in the house has to make a page. What do you say, Dr. A? Think you can make one?
Lizzie's left arm, the one with the tumor, is hurting her. The tumor is large, and seems to get bigger by the day. Her arm burns and tingles despite the numerous pain medications she is on. Joe and I feel so helpless...we can't seem to take away the pain. Last night I was cleaning her halo posts while she was sitting up reading. All of a sudden she just fell over, on her left arm, where the tumor is. Just like that. I was right there, but couldnt reach out fast enough to stop her. We keep her propped up with pillows, but they had shifted and weren't providing her with enough support. She was unharmed, I was able to sit her up without her getting hurt, but it hit me hard that she is so vulnerable, so helpless. It is so very unfair.
Despite the pain, she continues to wake up each day with a bright smile, and ask, "What are we going to do today, Mommy?" She looks forward to Gilmore Girls, and scrapbooking, and visiting with wonderful friends and family. Despite it all, she manages to LiveStrong, each and every day. She is teaching us all to seize the day and grab those beautiful, bright rainbows!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006 8:11 AM CDT
RED FLAG DAY. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING.
Thank you for all your wonderful messages. I want to let everyone know, Lizzie is fine; however, she is much more tired these days. She just wears out so easily now and cannot handle too much company at once. We love all of you and know that you all want to see Lizzie. In addition to the red flag/ green flag system, we are asking anyone wishing to stop by to call first; that way we can let you know if she is up to a visit. Thank you so much for understanding and loving our sweet Elizabeth. We treasure each and every one of you and the way you are all our other wing, helping us fly through this journey.
A couple of things I have been wanting to get posted but haven't had the chance. A couple of fun things happened last week, another case of angels in Lizzie's corner...A sweet caringbridge friend by the name of Shannon sent Lizzie Dierks Bentley's PILLOW! It a soft, beautiful brown, and I'm hoping contains some of his sweat or drool. Ok, a little over the top. But still...Thanks Shannon!
Also, Liz received an autographed picture from Keith Urban!! No sweat or drool on that one, but awesome still the same!!
Just a couple of examples of how you all are embracing our Lizziegirl! Thank you!
Have a wonderful day! God Bless!
Tuesday, July 25, 2006 11:42 AM CDT
TODAY IS A RED FLAG DAY. PLEASE, NO VISITORS. THANK YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GAIL!!! WE LOVE YOU!
Monday, July 24, 2006 9:27 AM CDT
We had a great weekend! Aunt Lisa, Uncle Jeff, Tyler, Tanner and Uncle Denny arrived early Saturday morning. They came with breakfast in hand - a princess cake for our princess, another cake and two different flavors of ice cream! After we all satisfied our sweet tooth, Lisa replenished our supply of pickle wraps. Tyler worked on a sb page with Lizzie. He brought a picture he had of him and Lizzie with Jeff when Liz was 14 months old. Could be the best page yet... Then the guys decided to modify our ramp; it was a little too steep and slick. They spent the afternoon working on that while the rest of us watched Gilmore Girls and just hung out. Lisa did up all our laundry - thank you, Lisa! We feasted on KFC for dinner and then they decided it was time to get going. It was a great day.
On Sunday Lizzie and Joe went to church and then Kensy and her family stopped by. Kensy worked on a page with Lizzie. They decided on a Keith Urban page - they used quotes from some of his songs. It turned out really nice - they did a wonderful job. After they left the Berreckman's came over and visited with us for awhile. We never got a page made with Dave; Lizzie was wearing out by then. It was good to see them, though. Rachel, we'll be thinking of you Tuesday as you are getting your cast off!
Around 4:00 Grandma, Grandpa, Abby and Kaylie arrived! Wow, was it good to see our little Stratton girls again! I'm pretty sure Abby grew about a mile - must be due to that Iowa sweet corn Aunt Lisa raves about!! :)
It is so good to have Abby's giggle and Kaylie's smile back in the house!
Lizzie is sleeping right now; she is pretty worn out. I think a Gilmore Girls marathon will be in order this afternoon. Grandma and Grandpa are cleaning the house top to bottom for me right now. They have to leave tomorrow around noon. With such a short visit, I should be able to avoid a migraine this time...hehehe
Hope everyone has a great week!
Friday, July 21, 2006 1:45 PM CDT
Glorious day!! Today is one of those days that you just know is a gift from God. He looked down on us this morning and said, "Those girls need a special day."
Molly had this great idea to walk down to Barista's. Lizzie thought that sounded pretty good, so Molly, Annie and Liza came over, we got Lizzie loaded into the wheelchair, and Liza in the stroller, and off we went! After testing out the new ramp, we made our little parade down Central Ave. It was pretty rough going, and Lizzie was hurting pretty badly by the time we got downtown, but she did it! Carolyn and Chunk met us there, and we all sat outside and enjoyed the fresh air and yummy drinks. It was so nice! Lizzie decided it was time to go, and the walk back seemed a little too daunting, so we all loaded up in Carolyn's truck and came home. As you can tell by the pictures, she 4-wheeled it right up to the front steps...you should have heard us all giggling at the thought of what Joe would do to us for trashing the yard! (Sorry KU :)!) It was a great outing with some great friends!
When we got home, there was a package waiting for us. It was from Janet, an Art Therapist at Children's Hospital, and good ol' Rob, our friendly, crane-makin' Child Life Specialist. Inside was a mobile of cranes. Someone at Childrens had the cranes and wanted to give them to someone special. Janet thought of Lizzie. They are hanging in our living room - you can see them from the front yard. They are so pretty, and when a breeze comes through the window, they dance around. They brought a beautiful smile to our Sweet Elizabeth!
Hope everyone has a great weekend! Reach for that rainbow!
Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:19 AM CDT
I wish you all could see our sweet Lizziegirl right now; she is sitting in her chair, writing a letter. Joe has come up with this contraption that allows Lizzie to 'write'; he wrapped an ace bandage around her wrist, then put his I-pod holder over that, then stuck a pen in that. When Lizzie moves her hand, she can write! She has this wonderful, determined look on her face.
She is still feeling good. Although she seems to tire easily, she is eager to do things and is looking forward to seeing her Aunt Lisa(yes, the naughty one who is trashing NE sweetcorn!!), Uncle Jeff and cousins this weekend, along with her sisters on Sunday. We are missing those little Stratton girls!!
We now have a ramp set up off our back steps. Nurse Sara from the Cancer Center, her husband, a couple of hard-working guys, and Builders Warehouse made it happen. Now I can take Lizzie for walks, we can go shopping, she can sit outside, we can go shopping, she can go to church, we can go shopping, and anywhere else a lot easier now! She greeted me with a smile and "Can we go for a walk?" first thing this morning! Thanks So MUCH to everyone that made that ramp a possibility!
Last night Mark and Karyn stopped by with a wonderful gift for us...they had Lizzie's rose picture framed for us! It is so beautiful - it has center stage on the living room wall so we can all be graced by it's beauty. Thanks guys, for doing that for us.
Have a great day! Thanks for checking in on us!!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006 9:10 AM CDT
"Good morning! Yesterday mom and I had a quiet day just the two of us; we made a scrapbook page together. It looks really cool and it was really fun! After that we had lunch and watched 'Gilmore Girls'. Then mom made four pages for the Hawaii SB. Marianne brought us a yummy dinner, we watched 'Friends' and relaxed. Today we are going to make a rainbow sb page and hang out.
I am muuucch better! Today is going to be a good day! Hope everybody has a good day. God Bless!" Lizzie
"Marianne, the cd you gave us brought Lizzie a great deal of comfort. She listened to it while she was falling asleep. Joe and I could hear it through the moniter, and it brought us comfort as well. Thank you so much! Also, I cannot begin to thank you for the housekeeper offer. What a tremendous gift, and a burden off my shoulders." ~Sami
Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:06 AM CDT
Elizabeth is doing better. She is still tired and weak, but feeling much better. Jess went to work with Joe, so it is just Lizzie and I today, I think we will keep the red flag out so she can rest. Thanks for checking in on our girl!
Please take a moment to stop by AngelHaley's site (ne/haleygirl). Her sweet mama put together a beautiful slide show of our beautiful girls! Thanks Patti!!
Monday, July 17, 2006 9:46 AM CDT
LIZZIE IS REALLY SICK. WE ARE REQUESTING NO VISITORS TODAY. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING. I WILL UPDATE AS SOON AS SHE IS BETTER.
Sunday, July 16, 2006 10:07 PM CDT
Elizabeth had a great, full weekend. After Jolie, Marty, Quaid and Lane got here, Lizzie decided it was time to hit the mall. Mimi, Jessica, Jolie, Lizzie and I tore up the stores, while all the guys went to Cabela's. We all met back home and ordered pizza. Erika stopped by for awhile. It was a great day at full-speed ahead. Thanks, Uncle Jerry, Aunt Mimi, and the Edwards clan for making the drive to come see us! You made our day!
Today, however, was a little different. Lizzie got to feeling kind of tough this afternoon, and towards the evening she started getting sick to her stomach. She got sick several times before we were able to unearth some Zofran (an anti-naseau drug) from our personal little pharmacy (our kitchen). She is finally resting on the couch. I didn't sleep last night due to some allergy issues, so Joe is staying up with her. Hopefully they will both be able to rest tonight.
Saturday, July 15, 2006 10:23 AM CDT
Lizzie went shopping!! Yesterday Shari came and picked Lizzie, Jess and I up and we all went to Target! Elizabeth woke up feeling restless and bored. So when Shari called asking if we needed anything, we jumped at the chance. We were gone about 3 hours and had so much fun! We were all wiped out after that wonderful shopping spree, so we came home, ate Jimmy Johns and watched Gilmore Girls the rest of the afternoon. Lizzie was tired but very happy.
Last night Molly brought chili and cinnamon rolls for dinner; we talked her, Annie and Liza into staying for awhile, and Father Matt joined us for dinner as well. Then he and Lizzie made a scrapbook page together. We had so much fun. It was a wonderful day!
Aunt Mimi and Uncle Jerry are here, they arrived last night. Uncle Jerry is working on his scrapbook page and Aunt Mimi is pampering Lizzie, putting makeup on her. Jolie, Mythical Marty and the boys should be here soon. Should be a great weekend!
Father Matt - remember, your page isn't done yet!! You better come finish it!! :}
Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:40 PM CDT
{Check out the new photos!}
Lizzie drew this rose two days ago! Remember, she cannot open her hands or spread her fingers anymore, or control them. Yet she sat up and drew this beautiful rose.
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Lizzie had a good day today. After Abby and Kaylie left with Grandma and Grandpa I was hit with a migraine (pretty sure it was father-in-law induced! :>), so Joe came home to take care of his girls and we all had a "Gilmore Girls" marathon. I think Joe is getting hooked! Then I went downstairs to rest and Karyn and Katelyn came over for awhile. Katelyn and Lizzie made a page together and Karyn took Jess to the mall.
This evening Father Matt came over and sat with Lizzie. They are planning a page together, so they talked about that, and Liz showed him some of her pictures she wants to use in her scrapbook. He is going to come back over tomorrow to start working on it. While he was here a beautiful rainbow appeared off to the southeast. Joe picked Lizzie up and carried her to the door so she could see it. A nice message of hope from God.
Lizzie is tucked into bed now, she is pretty worn out and has a headache, but had that beautiful smile on her face as she drifted off to dreamland...
Good night and God Bless.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006 8:23 PM CDT
Lizzie slept quite a bit today. She was just really wiped out. She perked up once her daddy got home though, and now she is all smiles! She is sitting up reading her bible.
Grandma and Grandpa are leaving tomorrow and they are taking Abby and Kaylie with them for a few days. It will be very quiet around here. I am pretty sure Liz, Jess and I will watch a few Gimore Girls and Friends episodes.
Thanks to all of you for all the wonderful messages! We love to hear from you!
Wednesday, July 12, 2006 1:31 PM CDT
Today is a red flag day; Lizzie is tired. She is really struggling today, frustrated with relying on other people to move her, feed her, tend to her every need. She desperately wants to write/draw/type, but has no control of her hands anymore. She tries so hard to keep that smile up. So many of us, in her position, would never smile, or laugh. But she does, so many times. I don't know how she does it.
Please keep sending her messages of hope and strength.
Monday, July 10, 2006 7:29 PM CDT
"Today was a wonderful! I woke up early and had Dad put me in the wheelchair before he went to work; I spent all morning at the table reading my bible and working on a scrapbook page with Grandma. Then I was put back on the couch by 'SuperMom'! We snuggled and watched 'Gilmore Girls' all afternoon. Then mom and I made two more SB pages. Then mom read some "Nancy Drew" to Jess, Abby, Kaylie, Grandma and I. It was a great day! God Bless! Love - Lizzie"
Tonight Eileen Frieden (Marc's mom :>) stopped by with a beautiful rose blanket that she had made for Lizzie, and one for Miracle (although Kaylie is convinced it is for her!) She looked through the scrapbook with Lizzie and promised to come back and make a page with her.
Lizzie is tired from her big day, but happy. She caught a few rainbows today!!
I just want to add a couple of things here. We have had some wonderful things happen to us in the middle of our storm - so many things, I can't even begin to list them. A couple of things though, that I really want to highlight, our silver-linings, so to speak...
A friend of Angel Haley's, Roberta Turnbull, has started a 'distant' scrapbook, for those wanting to scrapbook with Lizzie but too far away to do so. She put together a 3-ring binder and filled it with quotes, verses, beautiful pictures, and empty holders with the promise of more pages to come. What a gift - not only for Liz to see this book, but to look forward to 'mail-time' every day. We received new quotes today, and is was so thrilling for us to pour through them and then add them to the book. We have never met Roberta of any of the other people who are adding to this wonderful book. Yet she reached out and did this for our sweet Elizabeth.
The other wonderful gift to us is Father Matt. He is a priest at St. James and has taken the time to stop by the house several days and just hang out. He has been know to play Barbies with Kaylie and Abby, or just hang out and talk. Most importantly, though, he brings comfort and peace to Elizabeth. He provides strength to our family, just by being here. Thank you, Father Matt.
These are only two out of so many. The list is long...Molly, who stops by with a coffee and a hug, and lets me weep to her on e-mail at night, Leesa and Joy who stop by just to say hi, grandparents, aunts and uncles who drive hours to be with us, friends who stop to make sb pages, and bring us meals, and on and on. Thank you all. We couldn't be doing this without you. We love you. God Bless you. ~Sami
Sunday, July 9, 2006 7:47 AM CDT
Happy Sunday! Lizzie is going to church today! This will be the first time in a couple of months. We are so excited!
Yesterday was kind of a low day. Elizabeth is struggling emotionally and physically. Each day brings more challenges. She is completely dependent on having someone move her. Any position change requires assistance and her upper body is very unstable. Her body aches from not moving, while at the same time has no feeling. It is so difficult to watch her go through this. However, what nature has taken away God has enhanced in faith. She spends hours reading her bible and takes great strength from her spirituality. She treasures all the wonderful verses, quotes and poems from all of you.
Grandma and Grandpa will be here this afternoon. It's been a long time since they have been here and we are all looking forward to seeing them.
Have a wonderful Sunday! Hope you catch a rainbow today!
Saturday, July 8, 2006 9:55 AM CDT
IT'S CHRISTMAS IN JULY!! Yesterday we received a package in the mail from some of Granny's friends. We let the girls tear into it this morning...WOW! The girls had so much fun opening present after present, and a card to each of us with spending money. Of course, Jess and Abby loved that part, but it was Kaylie's reaction that was the best...she was holding a $50 bill in her hand, not really knowing what it was. She asked me to read the card. When I got to the words, "Please use this gift to go shopping..." her chocolate drop eyes lit up and she exclaimed, "SHOPPING?!" Oh, it was priceless! Gran, I'm so sorry you missed it!
After everything was opened, Lizzie says, Wow, it's just like Christmas!! Thank you, Carolyn, Landon, Frank, Jo, Gail and Tommy, for giving us Christmas in July!! Lizzie is so excited to start watching 'Gilmore Girls', and she loves her Angel. Thanks so very much!!
Yesterday was an exciting day around here! Lizzie and I went for a walk!! Shari helped Liz into her wheelchair, and off we went! We walked up to, where else...Hobby Lobby and Hastings! We shopped for about an hour, and then walked back home where Joy got Liz back in the house. It was wonderful! Lizzie kept saying, "We are doing it, Mommy, we are outside, going for a walk!!" It was wonderful!!
We also received a nice massage from a therapist who is a friend of our dear Gail "Kugel"'s. She came to the house and worked on some of Lizzie's sore spots. She was so relaxed she fell asleep. Then it was my turn. What a great treat after our nice walk.
We are planning a nice quiet weekend together. Lizzie wants to make a SB page with Joe and also with the girls. And I might take an afternoon nap! Hope everyone has a glorious weekend!
Friday, July 7, 2006 8:05 AM CDT
As you can see, we got the wheelchair. Lizzie got out of the house and even went for a 'walk'! We all paraded down the street, all the way down to the hospital trail and back. She kept saying how good it felt to be outside...it was a perfect night - a gentle breeze, not to warm -a true blessing from God. Lizzie got to catch her own rainbow last night!!! Thank you, God!
Thanks, Joy, for posting the pictures and helping Joe manuever Liz around last night!
Wednesday, July 5, 2006 8:05 PM CDT
Update: July 6th: OOPS!!! I knew I was going to do this - I left out a VERY SPECIAL VISITOR yesterday...Theresa 'Froggy' came over and massaged Lizzie's legs for A LONG TIME!! :) We love ya, Froggy!! Also, after I updated, Leesa and Joy stopped by for awhile.
Today is red flag day...Lizzie is feeling pretty tired. Have a great day...go catch that rainbow!!
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Today ended up being a green flag day! Lizzie is still pretty tired, but really bored. I wasn't able to get a wheelchair, but hopefully that will change tomorrow. She is really wanting to get off the couch, and out of the living room. Can you imagine, a whole month in one room?
Sarah came over and made a scrapbook page with Liz, and she had a few other visitors. Mrs. Stelling stopped by and bought the 100th 'Sweet Elizabeth' cd!! Kellie, I need more cd's!!
Barb and Sara, nurses from the Cancer Center, stopped by today. The CC has a Healing Garden and they are asking their patients to help them make stepping stones for it. Lizzie was their first one! After she put her foot and hand prints in them, I helped her decorate them. We were honored that they asked her!
John and Gail came by, and when John found out that Lizzie was out of ChocoChip Cookie dough Blizzards from DQ, he quickly restocked our freezer. Thanks, John...even though you left us 'old people' out!
Shari brought us a yummy dinner and bottle of wine (thank you, shari!!) and Molly brought me a goodie bag full of clothes from Old Navy, just to brighten my day!
As you can see, we are so so blessed with dear friends who are bringing us such comfort, and will and are doing anything and everything just to bring us a moment of joy and to lighten the load. We ar so so blessed.
Wednesday, July 5, 2006 9:13 AM CDT
Not sure if today will be a red or green flag day. Lizzie is feeling blue and restless, and has some sore body parts. I think we will try to get a wheelchair for her today, just so she can get a different view for awhile.
Yesterday Lizzie painted a beautiful rainbow, and I think she wants to try to finish it today. She is amazing - she can hardly use her hands, yet she sat there for a good hour and created a masterpiece. Rainbows, as you know, are a sign of God's promise to us that He will always be there for us, that even though we may have to weather some storms, He is always there, waiting to bring beauty and comfort to our lives, to carry us through.
Hope everyone has a great day, and maybe even see a rainbow! God Bless.
Tuesday, July 4, 2006 9:28 AM CDT
Happy Red, White and Blue Day! Yesterday was a fun day for all - Jess and Abby went to the lake with Carolyn and Kaylie went with Molly. It was just Lizzie, Gran and I. Lizzie and I snuggled up on the couch and watched 'Gilmore Girls'. It was a wonderful, quiet day - I got to snuggle with my Lizziegirl - that is absolutely the best feeling in the world!
Then about 4:00 in the afternoon Jean, Rachel and Ben Berreckman drove over from Holdrege. It was so good to see them! Rachel and Lizzie worked on a SB page together - they made quite a pair; Liz with her issues, and Rach has a broken arm and is wearing a cast! Somehow they got it done, giggling the whole time. Jean made a page also, and Ben and Kaylie worked on puzzles. It was a great afternoon.
Today will be quiet...Lizzie is tired and has requested a red flag day. The Messbarger family brought over a lot of fun fireworks, so we will set those off tonight, grill bratwurst and make homemade ice cream. David Schwimmer suggested strawberry!! May have to give that a try! :)
Have a great day!
Sunday, July 2, 2006 7:33 PM CDT
WOW!! Another FANTASTIC weekend! I don't even know where to start, and there is no way I can fit it all in, but will try to highlight...first of all, we talked all the aunts and uncles into staying the weekend. This is the first time all the brothers have been together since Jolie's concert last summer. We all had so much fun, playing, working on the scrapbook (we even talked Uncle Jeff into doing a page!), and just hanging out. The uncle's carried Lizzie's fancy chair outside so she could watch the firewoks Joe set off last night. It was so good to have everyone around. Aunt Mimi and Aunt Lisa scrubbed my kitchen down and went through my fridge, labeling and organizing everything. Aunt Mimi did laundry, Unce Jerry vacuumed, and everyone just made everything shine!!! Such a nice burden off my shoulders...thank you all so much for your hard work!!!
Today Jolie drove over and spent the day with us. She made an incredible page for the SB, and helped Abby do a little page for herself. It was so wonderful having her here. It was very brave of her to show up with all those ornery Stratton boys around, but she did it!! :)
So this afternoon we are sitting around, and Lizzie's cell phone rings and she startes talking. Her eyes get very big, and she is smiling and looking at us all, and smiling some more. A whole conversation is taking place and we don't know who she is talking to. Then she says, "Yes, I love to watch 'Friends'." An excited little energy goes through the room. She finishes up the conversation, hangs up, and SQUEALS "I JUST TALKED TO DAVID SCHWIMMER!!!!!!" The room erupts! Absolutley erupts!!! Then she asks for her computer, he said he would e-mail her some quotes for her scrapbook!! She goes on, and sure enough...there is an e-mail from him! He had to have hung up the phone and gone right to his computer!! It was amazing, and made Lizzie so so happy!! She was a big fan before, I think we will live, eat breathe 'Friends' from here on out!!
It has been such an incredible week - all our friends and family stopping by, giving Lizzie an incredible energy. However, she had a big drop tonight and is in need of some quiet time. She was sitting up trying to type on the computer, and started falling forward and couldn't stop herself. It finally hit her that she is losing control of her body, and it really scared her. She finally shed some tears, something that was much-needed. She is exhausted. So, this week we are adopting the red flag/green flag policy. If there is a red flag hanging outside our door, it means we are in need of some quiet time, no visitors please. If the green flag is out, we would love to have you come in and visit. I will also try to post it on the website daily. We love all of our company, thank you so much for making time to come see us. However, Lizzie is fighting a big battle now and will need quiet times. Thank you all for supporting us and loving our Sweet Elizabeth!! Have a wonderful week!
Friday, June 30, 2006 6:12 PM CDT
"This morning about 10:00 Aunt Lisa, Uncle Jeff and Tanner arrived and kicked off a very fun weekend! Uncle Jeff helped me move my legs around and massaged my legs around while Aunt Lisa played with Kaylie and Abby. We hung out and talked and then Karen Carlson came over and worked on 2 pages with me. That was so fun! Mr. Fuller stopped by for a few minutes. Now Aunt Lisa and Uncle Jeff have the kids at the pool so we thought we would take a minute to update. I'm feeling good, and loving reading all the verses and quotes from you. I love to work on my scrapbook!! Thank you, have a great weekend, and God Bless!! Love, Lizzie Lou"
Thursday, June 29, 2006 8:52 AM CDT
It continues to be wonderful/crazy around here! People continue to pour into our house, bringing a wonderful source of energy to us. After I updated last, Gail 'Kugel' came over and did a scrapbooking page with Morgan and Liz. Jenny worked with Abby and Kaylie on their own pages and Jess worked on our Hawaii memory book. On Tuesday Granny arrived sometime in the afternoon, Mrs. Maloley, Ms. Hargens and Mrs. Wheelock stopped for a visit yesterday afternoon, John 'Kugel' popped in for a quick visit, Carolyn and Chunk spent some time with us, Leesa and Joy came over for 'happy hour' last night, and Tyler and Andrea came in from Des Moines for the night.
Now all the kiddos are piled on the couch playing x-box and Granny is fixing Lizzie some of that wonderful Trettle spaghetti, so I have a couple of minutes to update.
Lizzie is doing so well. Her spirits are incredible. This scrapbooking is giving her an energy that I haven't seen in quite awhile. There is a light shining off of her that radiates onto anyone that comes near her. Thank you to all of you that have spent time looking up verses and quotes and sharing them with her. I can't tell you what it feels like to log on and see all the wonderful words from you. You continue to carry our family.
So, another favor...Lizzie is wanting to do a page on family. If you know of a verse or quote having to do with that, could you pass it onto us? I wish everyone could see this wonderful book you are helping her create. This project is becoming a little bit like the cranes...anybody that comes to see us is inticed to sit and create a page. We have started writing on the back of each page who worked with Liz that day. It's wonderful!!
Ok, now that I have written a book, I will go. Uncle Jeff and Aunt Lisa, be careful on the road tonight...we cannot wait to see you!! Tyler and Andrea are behaving themselves...they are keeping the girls happy and entertained...I don't think I am going to let them leave!! You should have heard Lizzie laughing at Tyler last night. And when Andrea was playing x-box against Tyler, and losing, Joe was quietly coaching her, and when she 'killed' Tyler, the whole room cheered and Lizzie giggled so hard! Thanks for sending them our way! I will post pictures later of some of their 'play time'.
Love you all!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006 1:23 PM CDT
WOW!! What a crazy, fantasic couple of days!! So much has been happening, I'm afraid I might leave something out...Sunday our kitchen ceiling caved in, so Sheri and Ryan came over to help Joe dive into that project. While the men were hard at work, Lizzie showed Sheri her Book of Verses and Quotes. It turns out Sheri is a big scrapbooking fan and has tons of supplies. So Monday morning she brought over bags and bags of goodies for Lizzie to use. In the meantime, Molly stopped by with a huge supply of spaghetti that Eric had made for Lizzie, and Erika brought over a great book of quotes and some fun scissors. Molly came back over in the afternoon and she and Lizzie started in on the first two pages of the 'Book'. Jess and I went shopping and bought Lizzie a fancy lift chair. Yesterday afternoon Leesa and Joy came over, Lori and Kate stopped by to buy a 'Sweet Elizabeth' cd. Last night Bridget, Jeremy and their girls stopped by, Mike, Shannan and their kiddos were here, and Erika dropped by to see what Lizzie had gotten done with the scrapbooking. My dad and his wife, Betty, drove up from Oklahoma to see us. We had a great visit with everyone.
This morning, we had a great surprise...Morgan and Jenny Peters drove up from Omaha to spend the day with us!! We quiety shuffled Morgan over to stand in front of Liz...she was holding a single red rose. Lizzie saw her standing there, and let out this excited little squeal!! It was so cute - she was so happy to see Morgan! Morgan is a cancer survivor who met Lizzie at Camp CoHoLo, and they have become great friends. Her mom, Jenny, and her day, Matt, have been through their own tough journey. Morgan was diagnosed with cancer when she was five, and years later their son, Charlie, was diagnosed when he was five. They have been an unlimited source of strength for our family. Just like today, when they 'dropped by' to see how we are doing.
Ok, so Morgan hands Liz the rose, and Jenny says "We have one more gift for you, Morgan let's go get it." I go into the kitchen to get a vase for the rose, and all of a sudden my dad is telling me to forget the vase, and I walk into the living room and there are roses EVERYWHERE!! They brought 10 dozen, beautiful roses of every color! The scent and beauty of the moment was overwhelming!! As most of you know, roses have special meaning to our family, and Jenny and Morgan wanted to surround Lizzie in roses!
Now they are all sitting on the floor with the scrapbook supplies spread all over, and are knee-deep in the project (see new photos). What a fantastic, crazy day!! This is what it means to LiveStrong!!
Sunday, June 25, 2006 9:36 AM CDT
From Lizzie: "Goodmorning! Yesterday was a fun and busy day! Mom, Jess and I got up and went to Hobby Lobby and bought stuff for 'Lizzie's Book of Quotes and Verses'. We got roses, crosses, pretty rose paper, fun scissors, etc. and started in on a group project! Last night Charis and Jim stopped for a visit on their way to Denver. We had a good time and wished they could have stayed longer. Right now Daddy, Kaylie and Abby are at church. Today we are going to work some more on the scrapbook and enjoy each others company.
Hope everyone has a good day...God Bless!"
A word from 'Mama'...I have hestitated to write these words, but Lizzie and I have talked about it and feel it's time to let you know. While her spirits are as strong as ever, her little body is starting to fail her. It's getting harder and harder for her to use her hands, and walking requires a lot of assistance. The doctors in Omaha have told us there is no more they can do for her. We are praying hard for a miracle for our little angel on earth. We have tried several 'natural cures', and many many 'traditional' ones, the cancer is just very strong and resistant. However, we have not given up, for we know "where there is life, there is hope." And Lizzie has a LOT OF LIFE IN HER!
Hug your loved ones close, and enjoy every moment of today...
Saturday, June 24, 2006 8:50 AM CDT
Good morning! Miss Lizzie just woke up and is sitting here beside me on the patio. It is a beautiful, cool morning, the birds are chirping, the grass is damp from a midnight rain, and the whole weekend is stretching out before us! Lizzie is requesting a trip to Hobby Lobby, and Charis and Jim will be here later on today.
Just thought I would let everyone know how Lizzie is doing. Yesterday Sarah spent the day with us, hanging out, making bracelets, and just keeping that beautiful smile on Sweet Lizzie's face! On Thursday Joe set up a little painting center outside on the patio and Lizzie sat out there all day and painted this beautiful picture of a Hawaiin sunset! She worked so hard on it - I can't tell you how wonderful it was to see her feeling good about something! It is a great work of art...I will try and take a picture of it and post it.
Thank you all so very much for all of the wonderful verses and quotes! You have inspired Lizzie and helped her through this hard time yet again. Yesterday she asked me to print out all of the journal entries so she could make a scrapbook out of all the verses. God Bless you all! Keep 'em coming!
Have a great weekend...hug your loved ones close and enjoy every minute of today...these are the days!!!
Thursday, June 22, 2006 9:30 AM CDT
Good morning! This verse is another one of my faves. It's a verse that I turn to when I need help.
Yesterday was kind of a bum day. Mom got out of work for the week (yeah!) and so we just vegged. It was just what we needed. Something really cool happened yesterday! Kevin Sharp called and talked to me! He is a country music singer who is a 15 year cancer survivor. He sings the song "Nobody Knows It." He is so nice! He talked to mom for a while and then I got to talk! It was neat.
Well I don't think that there are any big plans for the day, but Dad and Mom are both home today, so it should be a fun day. I hope everybody has a good day! Love, Lizzie
*********************************
Here is the link to the website where you can purchase Jolie Edward's 'Sweet Elizabeth'!
www.inthearmsoffriends.org/pages/sweetelizabethcd.html
The cd's are $6 ($5 for the cd and $1 for shipping); all of the proceeds will be given to 'In The Arms of Friends', a wonderful organization that, among many things, assists patients and their families at the H/O Clinic that Lizzie has been going to for the past four years.
For anyone in Kearney, I have some copies here at the house for sale as well. Thank you for your wonderful support of this generous organization.
Saturday, June 17, 2006 9:18 AM CDT
Wow, what a great day Lizzie had yesterday! I am sure she will update later, but I wanted to let everyone know how she is doing. Jolie spent the day with us yesterday. The girls had so much fun...Jolie has become a great combination of a second mom/really cool aunt/awesome older sister/the best friend you've ever had to the girls. After she was here for awhile, Lizzie decided she would like to go to the mall. THE MALL! So Jolie, bless her heart, loaded up ALL 4 STRATTON GIRLS and off they went. I honestly don't think she knew what she was doing!! :) Anyway, they came back about an hour later loaded down with bags full of goodies, preztels for lunch, and smiles on their faces! They settled in and watched High School Musical, then painted their nails and did some internet shopping. Jolie stayed all day. It was so wonderful to see Lizzie feeling so good and having such a wonderful time. Thanks, Jolie, for taking the time to come to Kearney. Good luck tonight at your concert...we wish we could be there!! We love you!!
Just a quick note...I just want to say a huge thanks to all who made the phone call from Ashley Tisdale happen. You made Lizzie's week...she is still glowing from it!
Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:20 PM CDT
OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY COW!!!! I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH ASHLEY TISDALE! She is my favorite character from the disney channel show, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and also one of the stars of the best movie ever made, High School Musical!!! AND SHE JUST CALLED ME! AHHHHHHHHH! LOL! She was talking to me and asking me if I liked High School Musical, and if I watched the Suite Life, and she said, well I'm on the set RIGHT NOW! Then we got cut off, and a few seconds later, someone calls and says, Lizzie, this is Ashley's mom, and she has to work right now, but she will call back you back later.
AND SHE DID! She said she is praying for me, and everything, and she was really nice!! AND THE COOLEST PART IS, SHE HAS MY CELL PHONE NUMBER!!!! LOL!! Now that we are done talking, I keep thinking about all this stuff I wanted to talk to her about, but that was just so cool! Wow, I'm still just so excited! And mom said that CAST MEMBERS from disney channel might call, so I might be talking to more people! Yesterday, I got a signed High School Musical movie poster signed by Zac Efron, Corbin Bleu, Monique Coleman, Ashley Tisdale, Lucas Grabeel, and Vanessa Anne Hudgens! They also sent me the the special encore edition of the movie! Wow im still floating! Wow good day! im floating! ha ha ha! God Bless! Lizzie
Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:18 PM CDT
ASHLEE TISDALE JUST CALLED ELIZABETH!!!She is the blond in 'High School Musical' and 'The Suite Life of Zack and Cody'. Yesterday Lizzie received the movie (HSM) and an autographed picture of the cast. Today the phone rings and Abby answers, politely asks who it is, thrusts the phone to Liz and shrieks, "IT'S ASHLEE TISDALE!!!" The line was broken up, and the call got lost a couple of times, but she kept calling back. Then, after a third loss, Ashlee's mom calls and says that Ashlee was on the set of Suite Life and had to go but would call back later. Wow! The energy level in the house shot up, and Lizzie was smiling from ear to ear!! With all the excitement, poor Gran and Papa were lost as to who this person was, and couldn't get a calm answer out of anybody!! It was quite a scene! Now, everytime the phone rings, I'm sure it will be a fight to answer it!!
Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:43 PM CDT
Lizzie went shopping today! Granny, Jessie, Kaylie, Lizzie and I all went up to Hobby Lobby, grabbed a wheelchair for Lizzie, and off we went! Granny and the girls had a ball picking out yarn and beads. It wiped Lizzie out, but she did it! This is the first time she has been out of the house since we got home from the hospital. Yay, Lizzie!! We are so proud of you, Lizziegirl!
Sunday, June 11, 2006 8:31 PM CDT
Lizzie had a good weekend. Charis arrived Friday afternoon. Lizzie taught her how to crochet, they watchted Friends, and just hung out together. Lizzie really enjoyed having her around. Yesterday Uncle Jerry, Aunt Mimi, Cody, Shelby and Chase pulled into town. All the little cousins had fun playing together. Today Lizzie taught them all how to make rosaries. It was a full weekend. Tomorrow Granny and Papa arrive for a visit.
Lizzie is feeling okay...her pain is being managed fairly well. Her arm still hurts and her jaw hurts off and on. She seems to have adjusted to the halo pretty well. She's keeping busy watching tv, crocheting and reading.
Hope everyone had a good weekend...thanks for checking in on us...God Bless.
Friday, June 9, 2006 1:56 PM CDT
And the answer is...BARREL! Ok, Marty, we've had many requests for more riddles! Keep 'em coming!
Lizzie had a big day yesterday...Sarah spent the afternoon here. They had a good time just hanging out. Then Kensy and her mama stopped by for awhile. They were on their way to Comstock. It was good to get to talk to them.
Charis just arrived and is going to spend the night. She and Liz are planning a big slumber party tonight! Joe's just very happy his dad is here so there are at least 2 men in the house!
Kellie - thanks for the compliment...wow! How much do I owe ya?
Love - Ginger :)
Thursday, June 8, 2006 11:35 AM CDT
BTW: Anybody thinking they might have the answer to 'Mythical Marty's" Riddle, please e-mail me...we will reveal the answer...as soon as Marty tells us what it is!
Just a quick update to let you know what Lizzie has been up to...Molly came over yesterday loaded down with several episodes of 'Friends' on DVD and strict instructions for Lizzie to complete them so she could move on to season 4. She informed Lizzie that her homework this summer is to watch all 10 seasons, including the trivia questions at the end! She's a tough one, that Molly. Lizzie got her back, though, when she started in on rosary-making lessons! Though perhaps a little overwhelmed at first, Molly turned out to be a very good student, completing four rosaries yesterday. She's coming back today to take the girls swimming, we'll see what her family thought of her first attempts!
Last night was Abby's very first dance recital! Erika treated Abby and Jessica to a beauty day; they got all glam-ed up and fancy! Abby did a wonderful job, as did all the girls.
Lizzie slept well last night, but woke up in some pain this morning. Sarah is coming over in a while to hang out. I imagine she and Liz will try to get some 'homework' done!!
Nicki stopped by yesterday with a scrapbooking kit and lots of fun stickers, papers, etc. Lizzie is excited to tackle that project. We have about 250 pictures from Hawaii, so that should keep her busy for a few days!!
Thanks for checking in on us!
Tuesday, June 6, 2006 2:51 PM CDT
Lizzie took a nice long nap this morning. She is still pretty bored. She thought she might be able to crochet so I ran to Walmart and bought some bright yarn for her and she started into that project after she woke up.
Tomorrow Molly is going to come over and make Rosaries with us and watch Friends. That is giving Lizzie something to look forward to.
We are all in a serious funk. Joe struggles to go to work, I want to sleep all day, and Lizzie is finding it hard to keep her mind busy. Jessica is taking a pottery class and is really enjoying that, and Abby has a big dance recital tomorrow so this week has been crazy with practices and dress rehearsals. Thank God for Erika, who picks her up and takes her to rehearsals, and helps me stay organized with what needs paying when and what costume goes with which practice. Couldn't get through this week without her. And Molly, who takes kids to the library and stops by for a visit, just to keep us going. As always, our friends are circling around us, carrying us through this time when we just don't have the strength to walk.
Monday, June 5, 2006 2:54 PM CDT
As Jessica wrote, we are home. It felt very good to sleep in a bed last night, and to be home with the girls, and to see all of our wonderful friends again.
Lizzie handled the trip home well. Joe padded the van with some foam and pillows, and she was able to sleep a little. She's doing ok today, a little sore, and a little bored. She doesn't quite feel up to doing anything, but has gotten tired of watching tv and playing PSP and PS2 games. Still, I feel it's a good sign that she is bored.
Thanks for all your messages!
Saturday, June 3, 2006 9:47 AM CDT
Update: Sunday 3:30 PM
Hi! This is Lizzie's sister, Jessica. Just wanted to let everybody know, they are finally home!! You go Liz!
Update: Sunday 9:30 AM
We are outta here!!
Update: 8:30 PM
Lizzie had a great morning; she laughed her head off at silly cousin Tyler doing, well, Tyler things. Then she thought she wanted to do a little shopping in the gift shop, and Aunt Lisa was all for that, so we put her in a wheel chair (Liz, not Aunt Lisa) and down we went. We saw a few friends along the way and bought a cute little toe ring for our princess, and then she kind of hit a wall. She started feeling sick so we headed upstairs and by then she was pretty tired. Kellie, Steve, Jake, Brandon and Ben Berish stopped by, along with Anisa, they had just completed the CureSearch walk. It was a whopping success, over $50,000 was raised!! Then Charis and Jim stopped by for a quick visit. By then Lizzie was pretty tired and needed a nap, so everyone left. We all konked out until about 5:00 - I guess we were tired. Now tonight she is feeling sick to her stomach and hurting again. She is eating some mashed potatoes in hopes of soaking up some of the meds in her tummy.
I think we will try to take off in the morning while she is feeling well. I just want to get her home with her sisters, kitty and grandma. There really is no place like home.
Jessica - it was so good to Instant Message you tonight. Get a good nights sleep, sweetie. See ya tomorrow!!
End of Update.
Good morning! Elizabeth has turned a corner! I wish you could see her! Aunt Lisa and Tyler and a friend of his are here and Lizzie has totally brightened up...she is laughing and joking, and throwing stuffed animals at Joe. Aunt Lisa is cheering her on, and Joe is telling her she needs a better release point...whatever that means.
She is starting to say she wants to go home soon, too. WOW!
Pat and Erika...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING US THAT YUMMY DINNER LAST NIGHT! YOU MADE OUR NIGHT!
Gotta go, it's getting pretty rowdy in here!
Friday, June 2, 2006 9:54 AM CDT
Update: 8:30 PM
Not too much to report. Lizzie felt pretty tough all day and took a long nap this afternoon. Jolie is back in town (yea!!) and sat with us awhile. This afternoon Dr. A and Anisa stopped by and helped us sing to KU and had some cake. Then some very good friends from Kearney sent us some supper from Macaroni Grill (no shrimp, Molly!). Joe opened his presents and cards, and Julie stopped by. Lizzie's friend Morgan is here now, and Jolie and Marty are on their way up.
I think Lizzie is getting stronger. The poor thing is on meds for pain, meds to help her go potty, meds to coat her stomach from all the meds she is on, meds for the arm tingling, and meds for the tumor pain. It's ridiculous, but if it keeps her comfortable then it is worth it.
Still not sure when we will make it home. Just getting out of bed wipes her out. But she is getting stronger every day.
Thank you for all the wonderful birthday messages!
Goodnight, Jess, Abby, and Kaylie...sweet dreams...we love you very much!
End of Update.
Good morning! Lizzie just woke up and is feeling ok. Anisa was in and removed one of her "bells and whistles". One more step towards getting her home. Her arm is still bothering her, but they brought in a sling so hopefully that will help her when she walks.
Our dear sweet Angel Julie stopped by this morning with a chocolate cake, addressed to the "surfer dude", a decadant breakfast, coffee, plates, yellow roses and candles! I was just sitting here wondering how to make this day special for Joe, and in walks Julie! How wonderful is that??
Thank you for all the wonderful birthday messages! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KU!! WE LOVE YOU!!
Jessica, Abby and Kaylie, it was so good to talk to you this morning! Love you, miss you!
Thursday, June 1, 2006 6:00 PM CDT
Lizzie walked today! Yea, Lizzie!! It was really hard for her to do, but she did it anyway! We are so proud of you, honey!!
Dr. A wants her pain under control before we go home. Her left arm hurts so bad, we keep hot pads on it and that helps for awhile. I just don't know when she will feel up to making that journey home.
We had a full day of visitors. Sweet Kensy and her daddy were here. Dr. Lazoritz, Dr. Espisito, Dr. Bowdino and Anisa, Uncle Jeff and Tanner, Hanna and Sharon, Julie, Christi, Steve, Jean and Rachel. It was so good to see all of you! Thanks for taking the time to stop and sit with us awhile.
Lizzie thought that boneless buffalo wings from Applebees sounded really good, so Uncle Jeff and Tanner just left to pick that up. Hopefully she will be able to eat a good dinner tonight. I think tomorrow might be a big day for getting her up moving more, and getting rid of some of her many tubes.
I want to take a minute to tell my mama that we will all be cheering her on on Saturday as she graduates from Ministerial School. We wish we could be there with you, but will be in spirit, no doubt. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, MAMA!! I love you.
I will update more tomorrow. Thanks for all the great messages!
Jessica, Abby, Kaylie and Grandma - we miss you so very much and can't wait to see you! Love you!
Thursday, June 1, 2006 7:36 AM CDT
Good morning. Not much new to report. Lizzie is still hurting. Her arm is really bothering her. The doctors were in this morning and said they want to start weaning her off the IV morphine and move to oral meds. They also want her to start eating and drinking more. She's not real impressed with that idea. Should be an interesting day.
Her spirits are understandably the lowest I have ever seen them. It is so hard to see the light fading from those beautiful hazel eyes.
The light is also fading from Joe's eyes. He has always been our rock, but he is struggling now. Tomorrow is his birthday. Maybe a few happy messages for our 'surfer dude'?
Molly, you sweetheart, so good to see you yesterday. You brought much needed strength. As always.
Aunt Mimi, Julie & Todd, thank you for coming up yesterday. It always helps to have you around.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006 1:34 PM CDT
Update: Lizzie made it through the procedure and is resting. She is having some pain around the back left screw site, but the nurses gave her some Benadryl so she could be more comfortable. More later...
Update: Lizzie is still experiencing pain. Her left arm is bothering her, the vest is pushing into the tumor. She is feeling numbness and tingling in her arms and is uncomfortable. They put her on some steroids in hopes of bringing some relief.
Her next procedure is at 2:30. The doctors will tighten the four screws in her head and check the alignment of her neck; there was some question about that being off. We will be here another night at least.
Thank you so much for all of your messages. Please keep them coming, you have no idea how much comfort that brings us. It doesn't feel quite so lonely up here knowing you all are out there.
End of update.
This is from Lizzie's grannie. Sami asked me to update her site. Lizzie is being admitted into the hospital. She is in a lot of pain from having the halo put on again. The doctors told us that the tumor in her arm is larger than they thought and her spine is losing bone. We know that Lizzie is always in your prayers; please continue to pray for our Lizzie, for comfort, for ease of pain, for peace. And I add, please continue to pray for Joe and Sami as they sit vigil by the bedside of this beautiful child. Please pray for peace and comfort and support for these two wonderful parents and for the entire family as their journey continues. As they said, we are proud of Lizzie's grace, her brave spirit, her willingness to stay in the fight, and battle oh so bravely. She is the definition of living strong, our baby girl. Peace be with you... And her grannie Gale adds: Lizzie, you are so beautiful to me, your bright spirit, your courage, your positive attitude, your desire to live life to the fullest in the face of so many negative forces - you are my role model, you are my bright and shining star. I love you, my Lizzie.
Friday, May 26, 2006 4:57 PM CDT
Not a good day...the tumor is progressing, wrapping around her spine and growing around the graft, and there is a new mass. Her spine is unstable and slipping, that is what is causing the pain. The halo is going back on next Tuesday. Her AFP levels are climbing, 49,000 (they were 16,000 a month ago). She is scared and hurting.
We are still in clinic, but will get to come home tonight. She has been told to stay laying down, so we will just take it easy this weekend. Her spirits are low...please send her some words of encouragement. Please pray for peace.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006 9:18 PM CDT
We are home. It was a great trip. Lizzie hurt throughout the entire trip, but did as much as she could. As I said before, we all sat through scuba diving/snorkeling lessons, and then Jess tried her hand at scuba diving and loved it. She didn't even hesitate, just got right up there with all of the adults, put on that heavy vest and equipment, and then down she went. It was great to see her doing something so new and adventurous. Then the instructor took Lizzie and after a few medical questions helped her put the mask on and then she snorkeled! I couldn't believe it...there she was, brace and all! She came up with a smile on her face like I haven't seen in awhile.
The rest of the trip was spent exploring different beaches, shopping areas, places to eat, and other sites. Hawaii is a beautiful place, so lush and green. We were total tourists, the girls and I bought sarongs the first day and wore them and our bathing suits everyday. Joe fit right in with his long hair and easy attitude, and it wasn't too long before the word "dude" started showing up in every sentence he spoke!! We took about a thousand pictures. All in all it was a great time.
However, it is so good to be home. Kaylie was up at 5:30 every morning, so we saw a lot of sunrises!! We have concluded, though, that as beautiful as the sunsets are there, they don't compare to our wonderful Nebraska sunsets!
Liz is in a lot of pain now. The trip was hard on her, but I feel there is something else going on. In her words, "things aren't good anymore". We are supposed to go to Omaha Friday, I hope we can make it that long. Please keep her in your prayers. She has a hard time walking at times, and is on pain meds all the time. Please pray for peace, comfort, and healing for our sweet Elizabeth.
Ron, Kathy, Leesa and Joy, thanks for welcoming us home "Wednesday Night" style!!!
Monday, May 22, 2006 2:56 PM CDT
ALOHA! Today is our last day here!! We are having a great time...Liz has snorkeled, Jess went scuba diving, Joe and Jess went kayaking...lots of swimming, shopping, and eating. We are all a little browner, a little tired, and sad to be leaving the garden island. But, Lizzie is getting pretty tired and sore and is ready to be back with her kitty. Our flight leaves tonight, we'll be in Kansas City tomorrow night, and back in Kearney Wednesday. Aloha!
Wednesday, May 17th 10:20 PM CDT
Hi Everyone! Well, the Strattons are still gone and we all miss them VERY MUCH! As Sami mentioned before they left, we all need to remember to ask Scott and Billy at Y102.3 play Sweet Elizabeth on the radio! I've included a link to a sample of the song below. Once you get there, just scroll down a bit and you'll see where you can sample the song. You will be able to buy the CD soon on Jolie's website. Check out the link below!
"Sweet Elizabeth" by Jolie Edwards & Jimmy Webber.
The proceeds are being generously donated by Jolie & Jimmy to 'In the Arms of Friends', an organization that supports, among many things, Children's H/O clinic where Lizzie has been going for the past 4 years.
HURRY HOME STRATTONS!! WE CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO GET BACK!!
Tuesday, May 9, 2006 12:57 AM CDT
WHOOHOOOOO!! LOOK OUT KAUI, STRATTONS ARE COMING TO TOWN!!!
JUST TALKED TO DR. BOWDINO, HE SAID ALL LOOKS GOOD, SHE IS HOLDING HER OWN, AND TO GET OUT OF TOWN!!! YOU SHOULD SEE THE SMILE ON LIZZIE'S FACE!!! WHAT A BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!
THANK YOU ALL FOR THE PRAYERS AND MESSAGES.
Monday, May 8, 2006 4:13 PM CDT
Just wanted to let everyone know that we are still waiting to hear from Dr. Bowdino. I have two calls in to him, and just talked to his nurse. They received the disk with the x-rays, but he is in surgery all day and hasn't been able to look at it. He might call us tonight, but most likely tomorrow. It is so hard to sit and wait, and of course, every time the phone rings I jump for it.
Lizzie is feeling pretty tough today, she got sick this morning, and is still pretty sore. Please pray for comfort and healing for her. We love her so much and just want her to feel good.
Jolie, Jimmy & Laura - thanks SO MUCH for driving SIX hours to support our Relay for Life. Joe and I want to apologize for some of the things that took place that night. Please know that there were many people there that are HUGE fans of yours (the Strattons being the biggest fans)and loved every minute of your concert. You guys are the best - we love you!!!
Saturday, May 6, 2006 1:16 PM CDT
Last night was the Relay For Life and that was pretty fun. I started getting VERY sore near the end but we stayed for the Jolie/Jimmy/Laura concert and that was great!!! Thanks a bunch you guys for coming so far and doing that for us!!! It was a great concert and everything went well!
Well this time next week, we will be ready to board a plane for L.A.! Thank you to Mr. and Mrs. Chavanu for giving us the opportunity too go on this trip, it is so cool!! Also, thanks to Nikki Rezac for being involved in getting this trip, you rock!! Trettel family, thank you for being willing to take care of our cats while we are gone!!
Well tonight is the last night of chemo! We will find out about the x-rays on Monday hopefully, so PLEASE keep praying for everything to be good so we can go on our AMAZING trip!!!!
Oh, and thanks to Jimmy for coming all the way to Kearney on his birthday to perform for the Relay!! Hope you had a Happy Birthday Jimmy!!! We love you 3!!
Everyone have a great week! God bless!
Love, Lizzie
Thursday, May 4, 2006 9:13 AM CDT
ALOHA!!! IN ONE WEEK FROM SATURDAY, ALL SIX STRATTONS ARE GOING TO KUAI, HAWAII!!!! We will drive down to Kansas City on May 12th(my birhtday!), stay overnight there, and then on May 13th, we will fly to Chicago, then L.A., and then Kuai!! We will spend 9DAYS! in relaxful bliss! WHOOO-HOOO! We will spend 7 days in one resort near the beach, with horse-back riding, and snorkling, etc., and then we will spend 2 days in a ocean-front suite, that is on a cliff over-looking the ocean!! It will be so much fun!!!!!
Tomorrow is the x-ray, so everybody please pray for everything to look the way it's supposed to!! Well, I'm gonna go learn the hula! HA HA HA! God bless!
Love, Lizzie
Friday, April 28, 2006 7:44 PM CDT
Whoooooo-hoooooooooo! IT IS OFF! THE HALO IS GONE! YEAH!!!
Today was a pretty good day! The x-ray of my neck hadn't changed much if at all, but Dr. Bowdino said that we have to take me out of it some time. So we are going to try it! Next week we have to get x-rays to send to him, and unless something changes, we will not have to go back for a month!
Well, we also found out that the Revlamid isn't working anymore. My AFP, which was 5695 last time, was 16,000 this time. On Monday we will start a new chemo, Temozolomide. It is a pill, and I will take it 5 days, every 4 weeks.
Well, right now, all I'm going to think about is how good it feels to have my neck free! Oh I feel so good!
Well, Abby is looking way to old in that beautiful first communion dress. It just doesn't seem like she should be a second grader!! This weekend should be fun!!
Well I think I think I'm going to turn in early tonight, as my neck muscles are tired! I haven't had that feeling in so long, that it feels funny!
Good night, and God bless!
Lizzie:)
Thursday, April 27, 2006 7:50 AM CDT
Well, it's finally here. A month seemed like forever, and now here we are, one day before Omaha again. Tomorrow is going to be interesting.
My stomach is performing the familiar flips and I'm starting to get nervous. In one day, I could get my halo off! Oh I am so hoping I will!!!
Grandma and Grandpa are coming today, and then Grandpa is leaving on Saturday for Des Moines to see cousin Cody's First Commnion, while Grandma stays here for Abby's! Uncle Jeff and Tanner are coming hopefully on Saturday, and that's it for our family!!
Well please pray that the pain I'm having is just from the halo shifting and nothing else. And everybody cross their fingers for halo removal in about 29 hours!!:)
Lizzie:)
Tuesday, April 25, 2006 8:11 AM CDT
Oh my gosh. I know its supposed to be April showers bring May flowers, but what about snow??!??
It is actually snowing right now and some places are supposed to get like 2-3 inches!!
I like snow in the winter, but in the spring, nope!
Well it is now 3 days till the big doctors appointment!!! Everbody cross your fingers!!!:) I'm having some pain in my shoulders and arm and stuff so please pray that everything is fine there!
Well, I hope everyone has a good week, and God bless!
Lizzie
Saturday, April 22, 2006 9:24 AM CDT
We FINALLY got the Revlimid on Thursday, and so I started that Thursday night.
Today is a beautiful day, and I am going to spend much of it outside!! I love spring! It is my favorite season! Everything is coming to life, and the weather is perfect!!
Well, the big doctors appointment is one week away, and hopefully this time next week I won't have a halo on!!! YEAH!!!!
Well Abby's First Communion is one week from tomorrow, and she is getting VERY excited about that!
Prayers go out to all cancer patients being treated, in remission, and all those who have earned their wings.
Go outside, and enjoy the day, because no one knows how life will turn out. God Bless! Lizzie
Wednesday, April 19, 2006 9:16 AM CDT
Lizzie is still fighting some allergies or a cold. And she seems to have passed in on to me, now, so we are both dragging. Kaylie is happy, though, because we are both too weak to fight her for the remote control, so it's one Blue's Clues episode after another, after another...
We are still waiting to get the Revlimid. It is always such a battle to get it here. Hopefully it will get here today and she can get started again. Other than that, we are just hanging out, trying to get better and counting down the days until she gets her halo off!
Please take just a moment to stop by Jolie Edwards' website and tell her hi! She has a big day coming up next week and would love to hear from you! (jolieedwards.com)
Monday, April 17, 2006 10:06 AM CDT
Update - 4:52 - Lizzie's hemoglobin, white blood count and platelets are all great! She will start her Revlimid again tonight (if we get it) as scheduled, and then go to Omaha on the 28th. End of Update.
I hope everyone had a safe and happy Easter yesterday! I know the Stratton's did!! The Easter bunny was very generous this year, and I think I lucked out the most with the complete first season of Friends!! I really like that show because it makes me laugh, and so now whenever I'm not feeling good, I will be watching those episodes!!
After church, we went out to eat brunch at the Captain's Table with our friends, the Baacks. We even got to see my 4th grade teacher, Suzy Lewis there, who moved to Oklahoma and whom we haven't seen in a while! It was really neat to see her!
Well, today I have to go get my blood drawn at the Cancer Center, because we have to get counts to make sure I can continue with the revlamid treatment. Mom and I are a little nervous about what my counts are, because I have a cold, and we are thinking that maybe I'm having trouble fighting it off because my counts are low. We will see! Will update later! Hope everyone has a great day!! Oh, and not that I'm counting or anything, but only 11 MORE DAYS UNTIL POSSIBLE HALO REMOVAL!!!! :) Love, Lizzie
Monday, April 10, 2006 5:04 PM CDT
Today has been another beautiful day!! Spring is definatley here, and I have spent the past few days planting flowers and pulling weeds. I have discovered that I really like to garden!! Jessica and I are reading the book, The Secret Garden, and we really enjoy the story. Well, I decided to plant my own flowers, and so Mom went out and got me some beautiful flowers!!
Today I also started piano lessons again with our neighbor, Kathy. I was taking them before I was diagnosed, and then I had to quit. Now Jessie, Abby, and I are taking lessons!!
I hope everyone has a good week, and God bless!
Love,Lizzie
Thursday, April 6, 2006 11:43 PM CDT
What a night! We just got back from the concert and I should go to bed but I am just too jazzed!! I don't even know where to start...first off we got to meet Jolie's friend, Kensy. She is such a sweetheart. She is just a little older than Lizzie, and shines just as much. So we get to the Quest Center and the radio guys bring our tickets to us. They asked Jolie if the seats were okay...Jolie read off, "Row 6"...yes, those will do!!! Then, they hand over another envelope...Meet and Greet passes to 'Sugarland'! Holy cow! So we get to our seats (center stage, btw) and Jolie is asked to go up and introduce Sugarland, where she proceeds to mention Lizzie and Kensy's names and blows them kisses. Jennifer comes on stage and is just awesome, so pretty, fantasic voice, great stage personality. After their part is done, we leave to go meet them. Unfortunately, we had to miss Dierks, but what do you do? So we line up and out walks Jennifer. She is just gorgeous and so sweet. She asks Lizzie about her halo and enourages her, and we get our picture taken with her! So great! By this time Dierks is done, (darn) so we get ready to hear Kenny. He put on an awesome show. Everything you would imagine and more. He is right there in front of us many times, and at one point he looked right at Liz and waved!!! He sang for a long time and Liz was getting tired, so we started to leave, but he kept on playing so many good songs. Uncle Kracker showed up for a few songs, too, and we finally decided we had had enough. The crowd was getting pretty rowdy. We are walking out, through a quiet, semi-desserted hallway, and Jolie goes, "There's Dierks!" We look up and THERE'S DIERKS!! RIGHT THERE, IN THE FLESH. I stop in my tracks, my mouth hits the floor, and about that time HE MAKES EYE CONTACT WITH ME!! HOLY COW! Okay, sorry Joe, but this guy is HOT! He is talking to someone else but sees Lizzie and WALKS OVER TO US! Holy cow! Turns out he knows Jolie, and introduces himself to us. Then he bends over and starts asking Lizzie about the halo. He sees her necklace that is loaded with medals of several Saints and comments on how many people are praying for her, and says she can add him to that list. WOW! He tells her that he can tell she has a good spirit, that it really shows. What a great guy! We got our picture taken with him (he touched my shoulder!!!) and we will put them on the website tomorrow. Derks made our night. He is such a good, down-to-earth guy. When he was talking to Liz he was so sweet and sincere.
We had a wonderful night. Lizzie beamed the whole time, and giggled and danced and sang. It was wonderful to see her and Kensy having such a good time. Thank you Jolie for including us in this fantastic night! And thanks so much to 103.7 for the tickets and passes. You guys rock!
Thursday, April 6, 2006 8:58 AM CDT
Well, thanks to Jolie, Mom and I have to drive back to Omaha today.Thanks to Jolie, MOM AND I HAVE TICKETS TO SEE SUGARLAND, DERKS BENTLEY, AND KENNY CHESNEY IN CONCERT IN OMAHA TONIGHT!!!!!
Jolie called mom at work yesterday and said that she had some tickets and asked if we wanted to go!! Mom said yes, and now we are packing and getting ready to go!! We are going with Jolie and her friend Kenzy. Can't wait until tonight!!! lol! God Bless- Lizzie
Saturay, April1, 2006 9:01 AM CST
"Sweet Elizabeth..."
Did you know when you smile
I feel sun on my shoulders
I feel soft grass beneath my feet.
Did you know when you smile
I feel wind blowin' through my hair
there's magic swirlin' in the air...
I swear
Lizzie when you smile for me
I see life differently
I see all it can be...
Sweet Elizabeth...
I have never felt more alive
Than when you're by my side
And with every breath
I thank God for you
God knows it's true
That I've been blessed
Because I've met this precious gift
Sweet Elizabeth...
I have never felt more alive than when I'm by your side.
And with every breath
I thank God for you
And God knows it's true
That I've been blessed
Because I've met his precious gift
Sweet Elizabeth...My sweet...
Sweet Elizabeth...
~Jolie Edwards & Jimmy Weber
www.jolieedwards.com
Friday...
The roller coaster ride continues! We left the house at 7:30, were at the clinic by 10:00, where Anisa breezed through accessing Lizzie's port and drawing her blood. Anisa, we love ya! Jolie and Charis met us for lunch, where we celebrated Charis's new engagement (YEA!) and got the yummy details of Jolie's recent trip to Jamaica. Then we were at Dr. Bowdino's office for x-rays by 12:15. He was a little concerned about the redness of the screws, and said the back left was a little loose, but the x-rays showed significant healing. Just one little area needs to heal still, but he thinks by next month, he will be able to REMOVE THE HALO! WHOOHOOO! He did start her on a bone-growth stimulator, which will, well, stimulate bone growth.
After that fantastic news we went back to the clinic for an arm x-ray. While we waited for the AFP results we visited with Dr. Lazoritz, Christi, June and Anisa. Finally about 4:00 Dr. A called us back. The AFP levels are up, around 4000 points from Febuary. Not great news, but Anisa talked to us about the possible why's and reassured us that this wasn't bad news, just more 'wait and see' news.
We go back April 28th.
The highlight of the day, though, is that Jolie gave us a copy of "Sweet Elizabeth", the song she wrote for Lizzie and sang to her at the St.Jude concert last year. We will have a link to Jolie's website telling you how you can buy a copy if you wish. Jolie's awesome husband, 'Mythical Marty', designed the cover of the CD with a close-up of a rose. Roses have significant meaning to us, as they tie us to Mary.
Happy Carpe Diem Day, and be sure and LiveStrong today and everyday!
Tuesday, March 28, 2006 12:03 AM CST
April 1, 2002 - Lizzie's Carpe Diem Day. Hard to believe it but it has been almost 4 years since that awful day. But Lizzie is here, showing us all how to truly LiveStrong. So much has happened in the past 4 years, we have met so many wonderful people along the way, have learned tremendous lessons in 'living out loud' and ridden that rollercoaster at full speed ahead! Six surgeries, 5 tumors, 3 different types of radiation, Los Angelas, Mayo Clinic, the Med Center, Clarkson Hospital, Kearney Cancer Center, and our true 'home-away-from-home', the H/O Clinic in Omaha. Countless chemo and a few experimental drugs, a halo, a rod, and something in her neck, I'm not sure what. Whew!!! Only 4 years??? More like 20! Yet through it all, Lizzie has danced and laughed her way through it with the grace of an angel and the spirit of a care-free child. I dont know how she does it. She just continues to shine, and laugh, and live life to it's absolute fullest. Lizzie, baby, you are amazing!! We love you so much!
We hope you will help us celebrate Lizzie's 4 year anniversary by wearing yellow on Saturday, to show that we can all LiveStrong!! And remember to seize the day!!
Please keep her in your prayers Friday. We have to see Dr. Bowdino to see if her neck has healed at all and we are any closer to taking the halo off. Then we have to see Dr. A for a check-up and blood draw to see if the AFP levels have gone down. She has been on Revlimid for 1 1/2 rounds now, so please keep those fingers crossed and the prayers coming! We are so grateful for all the messages and good thoughts.
P.S. I added new pictures yesterday.
Friday, March 24, 2006 11:08 AM CST
Well, the snow is melting and the sun is shining again. What a great 'season finale' mother nature gave us. Now the flowers will get a much needed drink so they can bloom for us!
Lizzie never made it outside; she was understandably nervous about slipping and falling. She is very content to stay in and watch tv, work on her laptop and answer e-mails and read her website messages. The 4th quarter has begun at school and she has been working everyday for a couple of hours at a time on her homework. She really wants to get caught up so she can move on to the 9th grade in August. (How is it possible that my baby girl is almost a high-schooler?!?!)
Her cold is almost gone, although she gets these horrible sneezing fits still that just rack her entire body. Not fun with that lovely halo on. But she is feeling good and has that beautiful smile back in place!
One more week before the big appointment in Omaha. Please pray for good news!
Monday, March 20, 2006 8:54 AM CST
Good morning! Wow there is a lot of snow today! Jessie and Abby don't have school and Dad is not going to work. We are supposed to get 12-15 more inches of snow today, and almost everything is closed! It is so pretty!
My cold is getting better but now I've passed it on to Mom!
1 month ago today was my arm surgery. We were talking about that this morning and it just seems like it has been longer than a month.
Well, we're not going any where today. We are going to be getting out board games it sounds like, and maybe make some cookies! It should be fun.
Please keep Jake Beresh(link below) in your prayers because he has scans today, weather permitting!! :)
Hope everyone has a good day, and God Bless!!
Lizzie
Sunday, March 19, 2006 7:41 AM CST
It is a winter wonderland here! We woke up to snow this morning with the promise of more to come! Uncle Jerry, Aunt Mimi, Cody, Shelby and Chase are here visiting this weekend, and we have plans to build snowmen and make snow angels all day!
Lizzie is doing ok. She has been fighting a cold, but is slowly getting better. She had blood drawn Friday, and everything was great! We have plans to go to Omaha on the 31st to see Dr. Bowdino and Dr. Abromowitch.
One big milestone to report - Lizzie can play her viola with the bow again! If she sits on the couch with pillows to prop up the instrument, she can play! The look on her face the first time she played a complete song was priceless!
We are off to play in the snow!
Thursday, March 16, 2006 2:18 PM CST
Happy St. Patty's Day!! Lizzie received a card from her Granny that we thought was pretty appropriate and wanted to share with you. Here it is...
All you need to know about life, you can learn from a Leprechaun...
~life is too short for long faces
~when you're happy, SING!
~when you're sad, SING LOUNDER!
~if you can't find a rainbow, paint your own.
~no one ever outgrows the need for warm hugs, special dreams, or a WEE BIT OF MISCHIEF!
~if you are feeling BLUE, wear LOTS of GREEN and think HOPEFUL thoughts.
and our favorite one...Quit trying to catch a Leprechaun, and just BE ONE!!
HAVE A GREAT ST. PATRICK'S DAY! and don't get pinched! We love ya!
Tuesday, March 14, 2006 9:25 AM CST
I just posted some new pictures. You have to check these out! Saturday night I had just taken Lizzie to her friend Sarah's house, and the doorbell rings. Jessie calls from the living room, "It's some prom kids!" Huh?? Joe and I went to the door, and standing there are two very handsome young men in tuxedos. Behind them are two beautiful young ladies in gorgeous gowns. And behind them is this extended SUV limo. It's not only parked in front of our house, but is also stretched across Leesa and Joy's driveway. I'm telling you, this thing was huge! Anyway, one of these handsome men is John Anderson, the wonderful high school senior who held the fundraiser for us in January. He is an exceptional person. Joe and I have been so impressed with this guy. While organizing "Lizzie Stratton Night", he and his friends stopped and checked on Lizzie several times. These kids have hearts of gold, and are so compassionate. I just can't say enough about them.
Okay, so on the night of their prom, these guys decide to stop and see Lizzie and show her their limo. Since she wasn't here we offered to show them where she was. We would drive over in the van and they would follow. Abby and Jess hopped in the limo, Joe, Kaylie, Johh, Jared and I jumped in the van and drove over to Sarah's house. John and Jared went to the door and asked for Lizzie. I will never forget the look on Sarah's face when she came to the door! She looked right past the studs standing at the door and saw the limo! It was funny! Then Liz came out, and her jaw hit the ground! It was so cute! Lizzie's other friends joined them and gathered around the limo, taking pictures and saying hi to the kids.
I can't get over the fact that here it is, Prom Night, and these kids took the time to stop and say hi. They made our night! Thank you, guys! You are the best!
Saturday, March 11, 2006 8:27 AM CST
Well another beautiful day has dawned in Kearney! :) Last night I went to my friend's birthday party and had a blast! We watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (of course!) and we laughed so hard! It was the first time for me to be away from Mom and it was scary at first, but I had fun. It has been a long time since I was with my friends and it felt really good to see them all again. I hope everyone has a good day and enjoys the wonderful weather!:0) God Bless! Love,
Lizzie
Wednesday, March 8, 2006 11:27 AM CST
I am happy to report that I have nothing to report! We are just resting, recovering, and enjoying each day. I can't tell you how good that feels! The latest Harry Potter movie was released yesterday, and Lizzie is a big fan, so I ran to the store and bought it for her. She has been saving her money and holding her breath for this day...huge fan that she is. So yesterday she watched that, and then finished the 6th book for the 3rd time. Yesterday afternoon she got her Harry Potter Legos out and sat on her bedroom floor and played with those. As small as this all seems, I am sitting here crying. To see her doing something so normal as sitting on the floor and building legos - it is good beyond belief!
Joe has been doing some PT work with Lizzie, and she is making amazing progress. She can straighten her arm, bend her arm, and lift it almost almost parallel to the ground. She has not had any pain meds in a week.
Sooo, beyond HP and PT, NOTHING exciting is happening here - and we will take it!!
Thanks for all your messages!
Monday, March 6, 2006 11:26 AM CST
We just got back from seeing Dr. Pottoff. He removed the bandages and said everything looked good. He also looked at the halo screws and said they looked good as well. Whew! I think we were all a little worried about how today would go, but Dr. Pottoff is so nice. He put Lizzie at ease right away, was gentle during the bandage removal, and even talked to her about school and life. Liz feels much better about things now. The incisions look great. There are 4 in all, 2 medium size ones and 2 small ones. He put a bandaide over them, but said nothing more needs done. Lizzie said it feels "really weird" to have the air hitting her arm after being covered up for a good month.
Yesterday Lizzie went to church, and then we went to Molly and Eric's house for dinner. Even though she is pretty worn out today, I think it felt pretty good to get out of the house for awhile. Not too sure about school this week, she gets tired pretty easily. I think more r&r is needed.
Thanks so much for signing in - she checks almost daily. She loves to hear from you!
Friday, March 3, 2006 3:24 PM CST
Whoohoo! Big day! Lizzie went to school! Sunrise Middle School had yet another fundraiser for our family (they have been so generous to us). They held a competition, called 'Hillbilly Horseshoes' during 10th period. In order to play the kids had to pay $2. To watch they had to pay $1. Jessica told us that the teachers were wondering if Lizzie was feeling up to coming. At first Liz was pretty aprehensive, but I could tell she really wanted to go. We had to be there at 2:30. Throughout the day she was pretty nervous, but she did it! She walked into her school and was greeted by so many people who have missed her. Sunrise is such a wonderful school, and everyone greeted her with open arms. Many of her friends gathered around her, talking and hugging. It was SO GOOD to see her back in that environment. On the way home she said that she thinks she is ready to go back for a couple of hours a day!
Thank you, SMS, for all you have done for our family. You have been wonderful to us.
Thursday, March 2, 2006 4:52 PM CST
Lizzie is doing so well! We went to Wal-Mart today armed with a long shopping list, and she walked the entire time. She was pretty worn out by the time we got home, so she rested a little bit. Then this afternoon Jessica brought home some school work for her, so she has spent the rest of the day catching up on that. She is also getting registered for high school. HIGH SCHOOL!!
Her post is slowly getting better. We are still holding our breath, but I really think it is improving. We go to the doctor here in Kearney on Monday, so he can look at it then. Thank you for all your prayers...we can feel them!
Thanks to Leesa and Joy for taking this awesome picture. They took several good ones, so I will be putting them in the album gradually. Enjoy!
Monday, February 27, 2006 8:22 AM CST
What a difference a week makes! This time last Monday Lizzie was in a lot of pain and unable to move her arm, and anxious about surgery. Today...the sling is off, she is moving her arm, and feeling so good! Thank you Dr. Espisito!!!
Yesterday was beautiful here so Liz ventured outside and carefully, slowly, walked up and down the sidewalk with me while Kaylie pushed her baby in the stroller. Jessica and Abby were riding their scooters and Joe roller bladed up and down the street. The birds were singing and everyone was happy! I cannot express how wonderful it felt to do something so normal, so easy. For just a few hours we weren't so concerned with medical issues, we were outside enjoying life. Our neighbors, Leesa and Joy, joined us on the front steps, and it all just felt so good.
However, I do have one little worry nagging at me and I just have to ask that you center your prayers around it for a while...Lizzie's right front post (the halo screw that goes into her head) is a little red. Dr. Bowdino said that if it gets infected he will have to remove the screw and put a new one in a different spot. All while Lizzie is awake. Joe and I are keeping a very close eye on it and treating it with peroxide often. Please pray that this heals on it's own and does not get infected and need moving. Needless to say, this would be traumatic for Elizabeth.
It is supposed to be almost 70 today, so I think we will have to venture outside again. Have a great day!
Please take a minute to check out the new photos! Thanks, Leesa and Joy, for being our photographers!!
Saturday, February 25, 2006 8:53 AM CST
We are home. We arrived yesterday about 5:30. Lizzie did well, the trip wasn't too tough on her. She didn't sleep all that well, I think she missed those wonderful nurses on 6th floor! At one point she woke up and discovered her leg sticking out of the bed (the nurses used her leg to take her blood pressure)!
While we were gone a package was delivered to our family. We opened it this morning. It was from one of our dear friends from Nevada, Sean Laycox. He is a Chinook heavy lift helicopter pilot and is currently serving in Afganistan. He and his crew presented our family with an American Flag which was flown "during a combat mission...in the face of the enemy to honor you...from those of us on the front lines in the War on Terrorism, We salute you." We cannot express how honored and touched we are to receive this incredible gift from Sean and his crew. There they are, away from their families and lives, risking their lives, and they take the time to think of our family. Thanks so very much, Sean. It means the world to us. We will hang the Flag with pride.
Thursday, February 23, 2006 9:17 AM CST
Lizzie slept all night last night! I woke up feeling like I did when she was a baby and had slept all night - panic! Is she okay, did I sleep through something?? But no, she just slept all night. She hadn't had any pain meds for about 9 hours so she was pretty sore and swollen, but after taking some Lortab she is doing better. She got and up and took a walk last night and felt sick to her stomach and developed a headache and burning in her lungs, so we came back to the room pretty quickly. She perked up around 9:00. We iced her arm and tried to elevate it. The doctors assure us that is all normal.
Today will hold more resting and recovering, and maybe another walk or two.
I have a funny story I would like to share with you. As hard as it is to be in the hospital and watch Lizzie go through so much, there is always someone around doing something to bring a smile to our face. Usually more than one someone, and more than one thing. Well, this time has been no exception. On Monday, while Liz was in surgery and we were waiting, Rob, the Child Life Specialist on the 6th floor, came over to say hi. Rob is a great guy, very lovable and fun, always going out of his way to make people happy and comfortable. We are always after him to make a crane. A few years ago, he struggled with the traditional folded origami crane and just cut and pasted one instead. Lizzie, of course, loved it, but everyone else continued to harass him. So, Monday night, after surgery, we walk into our room, and there, on the table, is this enormous "crane", made out of several boxes and hospital tape! A note from Rob says this is his latest attempt at origami! Everyone is booing and laughing, and Lizzie opens her eyes, smiles, and says, "I love it!!"
Well, this bird is so big that it is getting in the nurses way, so Joe uses hospital tape to hang the thing above one of the chairs, the one Joe sleeps in. We joke about how it will fall down on him during the night, and maybe a nurse or two might have to make that happen. So the next day I am sitting in the chair, working on the computer, and the bird comes crashing down on me! ME!! As soon as we see Rob I give him a hard time about how his bird attacked me. Well, first thing this morning he walks in and hands me a bright yellow hard hat!
You just never know when a big, cardboard bird might come crashing down on you!! And Rob has yet to make a traditional folded crane, but we will get him yet!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006 3:02 PM CST
Lizzie had another good night and is feeling pretty well. Her left hand has been feeling stiff and sore so today she slowly unwrapped the bandage up to her wrist. Her little hand was swollen quite a bit, but those fingers came out wiggling! All on her own she has been gradually stretching her arm out, then bringing it back in. Two days ago she was in surgery, now she is moving her arm more than she has in weeks!
Dr. Bowdino stopped in last night and said no adjustments to the halo were needed at this time. Yea!! He wants to see her back the last week in March.
Lizzie has been selected to paint a design for a Peggy Karr plate! On August 10th the Village Point Mall in Omaha is hosting a fundraiser for Children's Hospital, and Peggy Karr is creating a new line of plates for the occasion. Lizzie was asked to paint the design! The design will not only be on plates, but postcards and posters also. She is sitting up painting right now. She has also been invited to attend the red carpet event on the 10th! We are very excited for Miss Lizzie! What an honor!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006 5:51 PM CST
Lizzie has had a full day today. She is pretty sore from her incisions, and the muscles that were cut into are tender. They made four incisions in her upper arm. Her hemoglobin levels are low so she is getting a blood transfusion right now and napping.
Some of Joe's high school friends drove over from Des Moines to meet Lizzie today. It was fun watching them banter with Joe. They brought some great pictures of a high school Joe, which I'll be sure and post later...<-: They are a great group of guys. They brought Lizzie and her sisters a Playstation2 and several games, which brought out that beautiful smile of Lizzie's. Thanks, guys!!
Jolie was here for awhile today as well, and Morgan Peters and some of her family stopped by for a quick visit. It was a good day. Lizzie is recovering really well, getting stronger by the minute.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006 7:50 AM CST
Your prayers worked! Thank you thank you! Lizzie woke up shortly after I updated last night, and she was smiling! She had a great night. She actually got up and out of bed around 3:30 this morning. Her pain meds are few and far between, by her choice. She is eating bacon for breakfast right now. Amazing! I will update later and let you know how she is doing.
Monday, February 20, 2006 8:40 PM CST
Well, here we are again. We are in the room and Lizzie is resting. She is pretty agitated and unhappy right now. She got sick a few times after the surgery, which isn't pleasant anyway, but with a halo and bandaged arm it really isn't fun.
Dr. Espisito said he wasn't able to remove too much of the tumor; it was long, hollow and brittle. When they put the rod in her arm they had to push some of the tumor up to make room, which isn't great news. The neurosurgeon team stopped by and said they did some x-rays and her halo looked a little off and might need adjusting. Dr. Bowdino is supposed to stop by and talk to us about it.
The morning started out badly. There was a mix-up with the computer orders and when they drew blood they didn't get all the information at once, so Lizzie had to be stuck 3 seperate times within 20 minutes. Not a great start to a tough day. Needless to say, her spirits are pretty low, so when you say your prayers tonight please ask that she be filled with comfort and peace. She is so strong, but been through way too much.
Molly - thanks for updating the website. Sorry I had to hang up on you.
We love you all - thanks for checking in on our girl.
Monday, February 20, 2006 5:42 PM CST
Hello. This is Molly Trettel, a friend of the Strattons. Sami called and asked that I give a quick update to the website, to keep everyone updated on how Lizzie is doing.
Lizzie is out of surgery and in recovery. Sami and Joe are waiting to see Lizzie and have very little information from the surgeon so far. What they do know is that they were able to put a rod in her arm, with a screw at the top and a screw at the bottom. The tumor was pretty long and the bone in her arm is "like an eggshell, very brittle and frail".
That was all Sami was able to tell me before the surgeon walked up and she had to quickly get off the phone, hopefully to learn more and for her and Joe to get to go see Lizzie.
I hope we will learn more and we can pass that along to all of us who are praying for sweet Lizzie.
Friday, February 17, 2006 12:16 AM CST
Just talked to Dr. Espizito (pretty sure I am spelling that wrong). He is an orthopedic surgeon at Children's Hospital in Omaha. He has been looking at Lizzie's scans and feels that surgery is really our best option. The bone probably won't heal with the tumor in it. He feels he can make an incision where the tumor is, remove as much as possible, then insert a steel rod into the bone to secure it. After a couple of weeks post-op Lizzie should not have to wear a brace or sling or cast. This feels like incredible news, scary but hopeful. It's all being done so fast that all my thoughts have not had time to collide just yet, but right now this feels like a good thing...
Surgery is set for Monday the 20th at 1:30. We have to report in to the CARES unit at 11:30. Another big week so soon after so many big weeks, it feels a little overwhelming.
Lizzie is handling the news with the grace that she always does. Her eyes are wide and a little frightened, but there is a beautiful smile on her face. She is ready for the next battle!
Thursday, February 16, 2006 7:20 AM CST
Good morning! Lizzie had another good night. We have moved her into Jessica's room since she has the double bed and Lizzie's is just a twin. Jess easily offered her room to her big sister. It seems to be working. We prop her up with pillows and she doesn't move all night. Joe or I have been sleeping with her, but she sleeps pretty soundly so I'm not sure how much longer we will have to do that. Her new medicine seems to make her pretty sleepy. It also is making her legs ache, which was a possible side effect. We go in for counts tommorrow. Hopefully all will be good there.
The orthopedic surgeon called last night. He feels something can and should be done to stabilize that arm. He said the the tumor might prevent the bone from healing, and it is still weak. He is sending her x-rays to some other bone specialists to see what they think. I feel really mixed about this. On one hand she is comfortable and I don't want to put her through more tests, surgeries, etc. But I sure don't want her to break it again. What I want is for this medicine to kill the cancer completely and have her whole and healthy.
Monday, February 13, 2006 8:35 AM CST
Lizzie had a great day yesterday...she had several visitors. Father Matt brought us Communion and prayed with us for awhile, then entertained us all by playing Barbies with Kaylie. Carolyn stopped by with Chunk, Lizzie's therapy dog. Then Lizzie's close friend, Sarah, came over and spent the rest of the day with us. It was so theraputic for Lizzie, I haven't heard her laugh so hard in a long time. She and Sarah had so much fun. It was good for all of us to see her happy.
We received her Revlimid on Saturday and she took her first dose that night. So far so good. We sent her x-rays to Omaha so the orthopedic surgeon there can look at them. There is a good chance we won't need to go to Omaha right away, instead we will just let her arm heal and go back for her 4-week check-up. We are keeping our fingers crossed!
She didn't sleep too well last night and is a little tired this morning. But, she is sitting up watching High School Musical(again) and eating spaghetti(again). She has a smile on her face and is ready to tackle the day!
Thursday, February 9, 2006 2:21 PM CST
Elizabeth was taken by ambulance to the emergency room last night. I was cooking supper and heard her crying in her room. I knew with a sickening feeling something had happened. Joe and I flew upstairs to find her lying on the floor on her fragile arm. We called Anisa who told us to call 911, which we did, they were there within hours, or most likely minutes. Lizzie was in a great deal of pain. She had been putting on makeup and tripped on a cord. Just minutes before she had been in the kitchen, telling me that she had written up a schedule for herself to get into a routine during the days. She asked if she could join her bible study that was meeting in the next hour. She was feeling so good, ready to join the world again, and now she's down again. It's just so hard to understand why.
She has a broken arm. The break occured right where the tumor is. The doctors set the bone and put her in a splint. They kept her overnight to keep her comfortable, and we are home now. As long as she doesn't move the pain is tolerable. As soon as she can tolerate the 3 hour drive we will go to Omaha to make sure her neck wasn't injured in the fall, and to meet with the orthopedist.
Wednesday, February 8, 2006 8:55 AM CST
Good morning! Just wanted to let everyone know how Lizzie is doing. It is so wonderful to sign on and see how many people are out there thinking of Lizzie. Can't tell you what your words mean to all of us!
She is feeling pretty good. She gets tired pretty easily but I keep telling myself that is to be expected after spine surgery. She spends her time reading and watching tv. She has completed a few homework assignments (without mom having to tell her to!). A good friend of ours has been sending her prayer cards and she has built up a pretty large collection, so todays project is to organize those into a scrapbook. But first, we are being treated to a pedicure this morning! My boss and friend, Mandi, arranged to have her sister Kayla come to our house to pamper us today! Lizzie is looking forward to that! (and so is mom!)
Have a great day!
Lizzie's Line for the day:
"Where there is life, there is hope..."
Friday, February 3, 2006 6:25 PM CST
We are back in Nebraska! We saw Dr. A today and decided to start a new thalidomide analog. Lizzie can take it at home and will need to be checked only every 4 weeks, with weekly blood checks at home.
We have to keep a close eye on her arm. Although the doctors at Mayo couldn't offer any good solutions, they did warn us that it is fragile and can and will break easily. They want x-rays done every 2-4 weeks.
It was a rough week. We had to hear some tough things from the doctors there, things Lizzie did not need to hear. So, it feels good to be back with Dr. A, Anisa and everybody at Children's. Home sweet home!!
Thank you for checking in on us. Joe's grandma printed out some of the messages and brought it out to the farm so we could read some of the responses. Seeing your words and prayers lifted us up.
Thursday, February 2, 2006 9:36 AM CST
This is Sam's mom again. Joe, Sami and Lizzie (and Grandpa Wayne) met with the doctors at Mayo again yesterday who decided after many x-rays and tests, that there was no good way to stablize Lizzie's arm with surgery. Also, the oncologist there couldn't give them anything they can't get in Omaha, so they are meeting with Dr. A. Friday afternoon in Omaha. They will stay in Charles City one more day with Grandma and Grandpa Stratton and head for Omaha Friday morning.
They'll be back within internet and cell range tomorrow (Friday) morning.
Thank you for your continued support and prayers; you are our angels.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006 8:30 AM CST
Good morning. This is Sami's mom again. I just heard from Sami. They have an appointment this afternoon with the doctors in Mayo. They want more x-rays and tests; the doctors are leaning toward surgery, but haven't decided yet. If they decide on surgery, it won't be until Thursday. They are also meeting with a radiologist to find out if radiation is a possibility.
There is no internet or cell phone coverage where Sami and Joe are, so they can't receive or send calls from their cell phones. If you've tried calling them on their cell phones and haven't reached them, that's the reason. They appreciate your concern and your calls, but can't receive them.
Thank you for your continued support and prayers. It helps us to know how much you care.
Monday, January 30, 2006 5:18 PM CST
This is Sami's mom, Gale. Sam and Joe have no access to internet so I'm updating for them.
Lizzie, Sami, and Joe met with doctors at Mayo today. The doctors say that further tests are needed before they decide if surgery is necessary. They meet again tomorrow and will know then what will be done.
Friday, January 27, 2006 7:16 PM CST
Quick update - we just got home and are kind of fried, but just wanted everyone to know that we are taking Lizzie to Mayo Clinic. We have an early morning apointment on Monday so we will probably take off tomorrow sometime to break up the 9 hour trip. We are consulting with an oncologist and orthopedist on what the next step should be. We are fairly certain that surgery of some type will be done next week to stabilize her arm to prevent it from breaking.
Thanks for all the wonderful messages - we love reading them!
Thursday, January 26, 2006 7:41 PM CST
We are in Omaha again. Last night Lizzie started saying that her arm (where the tumor is) was hurting. This morning I gave her a bath and was putting lotion on her and she flinched when I touched her arm. During the rest of the morning it continued to bother her, especially when she put pressure on it or used it at all. She wasn't feeling right and just seemed off. I called Anisa and ended up talking to Dr. A. She thought that an x-ray was in order and felt that it would be better to evaluate her in Omaha. So Joe came home, Molly came and got Kaylie, and we were in Omaha by 3:30. Lizzie had several x-rays done and then we met with an orthopedic surgeon. He said that the tumor was weakening the bone and putting Liz in a "pre-break condition" and needed to have surgery soon. He ordered a brace and sling for her arm and said he would contact our surgeon.
It is hard to think that just 2 weeks ago Lizzie was getting out of spine surgery, and now here we are, facing yet another surgery. I know God has a plan, but it is hard to see where he is going with this one.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006 1:08 PM CST
Lizzie is getting stronger every day. Today she had a little outing with Molly, Annie, Liza and Kaylie. They went to the library and read for a little bit. She is tired but feeling good. Yesterday she stenciled some roses in her room, and we hung up the new cranes that we made in the hospital last week. (Anisa, your Husker crane amazingly made it home, and is now soaring with the others!)
We have had some interesting reactions to the halo Lizzie is wearing. Ranging from open rudeness to complete compassion, our favorite so far comes from our little friend Annie, who is in kindergarten. She told a friend of hers that "...her best friend Lizzie had surgery and is now wearing a halo." She went on to tell her friend that while the halo was kind of scary at first, she realized that it had saved Lizzie's life, and so now "I like it." Wow. Annie, as you can imagine, is a pretty amazing child, and sees things a lot of adults miss.
A few challenges have risen with the halo, (pardon the pun!) the funniest being sneezing! Lizzie has discovered that sneezing while not being able to move your upper body is not a fun experience! Another time she got stuck in bed and had to call me to come get her. It was 7:30 in the morning and the phone rings. I grumbled to myself, wondering who was rude enough to call that early, and Lizzie is on the line, giggling, asking for help! I went into her room to find her flat on her back, unable to move! She had the silliest grin on her face.
However difficult this new path has been, Lizzie has found a way, like always, to walk it with grace, faith, and even humor.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006 4:18 PM CST
Hey everyone! This is Lizzie and man does it feel good to be home! Today was a great day-I was able to eat and drink even a little and I am feeling awesome! Let me tell you, being home is just wonderful! It is so good to see everyone and be able to be apart of everything. We go back to Omaha on February 3rd to meet with the neurosurgeon and with Dr. A so 2 whole weeks at home! YIPEE!!!!! That is always good news! I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have been praying for me and to everyone who helped out this last week. It was a tough one and it helped a whole bunch to have people there to support us. May God be with you all and bless you!
Love,
Lizziegirl :)
Tuesday, January 17, 2006 6:47 PM CST
We are home! The doctor came in this morning and said it was an "amazing recovery" and Lizzie could go home if she felt up to it. He said "I'm very impressed, you are very tough." That's our girl!
We got home about 3:00 this afternoon. We are all wiped out and looking forward to sleeping in our own beds tonight.
Monday, January 16, 2006 7:34 PM CST
Lizzie had kind of a rough day today. She woke up feeling tired but got out of bed and got dressed, brushed her teeth and went for a walk. The physical therapist met with us then and had Lizzie doing some exercises, one of which was walking completely independently (very scary for mom!). Then she kicked the ball in the hallway for awhile before she decided to rest. This afternoon she developed a pretty bad headache and felt sick to her tummy, so we closed the curtains and turned off the lights and we all took a long nap. Joe woke us up around 6:00. She is feeling better but still seems quiet and tired.
Sunday, January 15, 2006 8:13 PM CST
Another good day...Lizzie had a little bath this morning, then I put on her make-up and got her dressed in some of her new clothes. She wanted to go for a walk after that so off we went! After a few steps she decided she'd had it with her walker, so before we knew it the walker was tossed aside! She made a full lap and a half around the floor, then back to the room so she could rest. This afternoon Jolie and her family came over so Lizzie decided she was up for another walk. She made it back down to the gift shop for some more shopping (shocker!) then rode to the skywalk. Several friends stopped by to say hi. It was a very full day, and she is feeling sore and tired now, and ready for a good nights sleep.
Saturday, January 14, 2006 1:56 PM CST
Quick Update:
Right after I wrote the last update, Lizzie went for a long walk! She did an entire lap around 6th floor with her walker, and then wanted to go for a ride in her wheelchair. We went down to the gift shop and she did a little shopping even! Less than 48 hours after surgery, and she's walkin' and shoppin'!!
End of Update.
Well, no chicken nuggets yet, but Miss Lizzie is sitting up and sipping on soup and nibbling on popsicles. This morning she got out of bed, walked a few feet with her walker, and then sat in her wheelchair. We went for a quick walk around 6th floor, and then back in the room where she felt like staying in the chair for a little while. I painted her nails and she requested one of her new robes and furry socks to be put on. She is feeling good enough to be shooting Daddy dirty looks as he harasses the nurses. I think she's even a little bored. We are making progress!
Friday, January 13, 2006 10:23 AM CST
Goodmorning! Lizzie is doing well. She was able to rest some during the night, but about 1 am she asked that we pray a rosary of thanksgiving. What a spirit! Here she was, laying in bed with screws in her head, an incision in her throat and she wanted to thank God for getting her through the surgery and blessing her. Wow.
The docs want her sitting up and walking today. We have met with our case manager and will see a physical therapist and occupational therapist. She has a big day ahead of her, but will tackle it with grace.
The surgeon told us that he was unable to remove most of the tumor. We probably won't do anymore radiation and I think we are done with the chemo also. Dr. Abromowitch said she has some other ideas in mind. Please pray for guidance and wisdom and miracles.
Thank you for signing in and praying for our Lizzie! We love you all! Your words cheer us up and keep us going! God Bless you!
Thursday, January 12, 2006 3:00 PM CST
UPDATE at 10:29. This is Kellie Beresh again updating. Lizzie is done with surgery and is doing well! She got up to a room in the ICU a little before 8. They were able to remove a good portion of the tumor and she has no paralysis. She is awake and when we went in and saw her she was asking for chicken nuggets and smiling. She is tired and her throat is very sore.
Lizzie wanted me to make sure I told everyone that she says hi. What an angel this girl is. She is in there thanking everyone for coming as she is laying in the bed. I did tell her that since I posted about her surgery there were tons of guestbook messages on her site. She got a huge smile and Sami did too. Please keep the messages and the prayers coming. The address to the hospital is below. Not sure how long she will be in the hospital, but they do have plans to move her to a regular room soon and get her up. Thanks for checking in on Lizzie and again keep the prayers and messages coming. I'm sure Lizzie will love to read them very soon!
*End of Update*
This is Kellie Beresh, Jake's Mom and friend of the Strattons, updating for Joe and Sami who are with Lizzie here in Omaha at Children's Hospital. After an MRI late yesterday afternoon, it was decided to take Lizzie in for emergency surgery today as the tumor was spreading the vertebrea in her spine too far foward. This was putting Lizzie in danger for paralysis. Joe came into Omaha last night. They took Lizzie into surgery at around 2:45 today and had estimated surgery taking around 3 hours. Sami wanted everyone to know what was going on, and I will continue to update the site as we get more news. Please keep Lizzie and her family in your prayers.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006 11:00 AM CST
Lizzie has been admitted to Children's Hospital in Omaha this morning. Her throat is hurting so much because of the radiation that she can't eat or dring anything, or take her medications, so she has become dehydrated. At Children's she will be given medication for the pain and to hydrate her so that she will not lose nutrients and energy.
Radiation has been suspended for the week so that she can rest. As soon as she's able to travel, Lizzie and Sami will return home to Kearney. In the meantime, she will be at Children's Hospital.
Please continue your prayers for Lizzie, Sami, Joe and all the girls.
Thank you!
Monday, January 9, 2006 8:25 AM CST
We get the day off! Dr. Zehn's nurse called and said they need to rework some numbers and wouldn't be ready today...one more night in our own bed!!
After a tough night on Friday (Lizzie's throat hurt so badly she was crying...and she never cries. She coulnd't take her pain meds so her neck pain was catching up with her) she rallied and had a great weekend. She actually nibbled at some pizza toppings and italian ice! And with an extra day off she will be even stronger going into her week. This morning she is all smiles and is promising Kaylie she will play "Dora the Explorer" with her! Adios!!
Friday, January 6, 2006 2:35 PM CST
Home again...feels like we were gone a lot longer than four days somehow. Lizzie is feeling better on one hand...the pain in her neck and arm is lessening, but now her throat is hurting so badly she can't eat or drink and is losing weight. The doctors gave her some pain meds for her sore throat, but they didn't work, so today they gave her something stronger. We have tried cough drops and gum and suckers. One thing seems to help one time and then not the next.
She had a CT done today to see if the tumor has shrunk at all. The doctor couldn't see a lot of change by looking at the scans, but will do further studying and let us know soon.
Tuesday, January 3, 2006 8:00 AM CST
Well, we leave today for week number 3. Yesterday was spent with wonderful friends. In the morning John and Gail stopped by and spent some time with us, remembering wish trips and treasured moments, and last night our good friends Molly and Eric stopped by and had supper with us. Halfway through the evening Ron and Kathy knocked on the door and joined us for a glass of wine. Here we were, facing another week of radiation, and suddenly surrounded by dear sweet friends. Instead of worrying about what the week would bring, we were laughing and feeling good. It is our friends and family that call, that show up, that always keep Lizzie in prayer, that are getting us through this. Signing on to the website and seeing so many people who care, coming home to goody bags provided by caring teachers, students and staff at the schools, knowing how much people care. Eating chinese food with Molly and "Derik". It goes on and on. As we go through our week, knowing that you all are out there pulling for us will help us get through. Lizzie is feeling strong and good and ready for her battles ahead.
Annie and Liza - tell your mama Amazing Amanda is safely put away, and all the cameras are turned off...take care of our kitties and don't forget to hug them everyday!!
Friday, December 30, 2005 5:17 PM CST
Two down - three or four to go! This week was much better - the whole family got to go, and thanks to the GoodFellows, we all stayed at the Embassy Suites, so it was like a little vacation, with daily radiation thrown in! Now we are home for three whole days, and it feels so good!
Lizzie is still in a lot of pain, but is okay as long as she is laying down. She tried swimming once or twice, and that felt good as long as there wasn't anyone in the pool to make too many waves. The highlight of our trip was Wednesday night. We went to Cheeseburgers and Paradise where Jimmy Weber does Open Mike Night. He invited Jessica, Abigail and Kaylie up on stage to sing Brown Eyed Girl to their mama. They did a great job - look out Jolie! It was so much fun to listen to him, and was just the break we needed.
Happy New Year to all of you! Hope 2006 is full of blessings and treasured moments!
Thursday, December 22, 2005 10:36 AM CST
It has been quite a week. Lizzie's pain got really bad Monday driving to Omaha, so the doctor's switched her pain meds. But by Tuesday it was not any better and maybe a little worse so they put her on steroids and gave her a wheelchair. By Wednesday the pain was unbearable. I took Lizzie to Children's H/O where Anisa gave her a morphine shot which finally relieved the pain. We also met with an orthotics specialist who put Lizzie in a neck brace, and that also helped immensely. I was feeling completely overwhelmed being the sole care provider, and so we called our angel, Jolie, and she met us at the clinic and stayed with us all day. She and her husband, Marty, offered us their home, so while Liz received her radiation treatment I packed up our things and checked out of the Lied. We moved into their warm, loving home and that has been more theraputic than the morphine! The Edwards boys, Quaid and Lane, have been keeping Liz company, watching movies and just hanging out. And then there is the lovable puppy Rufus who also lives here. He must have sensed Lizzie's pain because he immediatley took up residence on her lap, snuggling and bringing out that beautiful smile that has been missing.
We have two more days of radiation and then get to go home for Christmas! We can't wait, it has been so hard to be away from Joe and the girls.
Have a wonderful Christmas!
Thursday, December 15, 2005 11:46 AM CST
Well, we are FINALLY home. We ended up staying in Omaha through Thursday morning - Elizabeth had a CT simulation done Wed. afternoon and the horrible mask fitting. It is a large plastic-like net that fits very snuggly over her face - she will have to wear it every day for radiation. She said it was pretty tight and didn't feel too great. Then last night she had an MRI done at the Med Center, and that was also to get things set up for radiation. Right now the plan is to start on Monday, if they get all the planning done. Liz and I will make the trip back Monday morning and then come home Friday evening. We will do this for the 5 to 6 weeks they are predicting it will take.
To the Sunrise Family - THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR LETTING LIZZIE SLIDE ON HER HOMEWORK. She is feeling overwhelmed right now, as can be imagined, and she has also started back on chemo, which has always made her feel tired, but when added with the pain killers she is taking fairly often, her energy level is pretty low right now. So THANK YOU, so much.
It makes her feel good to read what everybody is writing - thanks for keeping her spriits up.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005 9:50 AM CST
2:20
Update: Just talked to Dr. A - due to the location and fragility of the tumor, she feels that it will be best to have radiation done here, at Clarkson, under her and Dr. Zehn's care. We are supposed to begin making plans to start Monday. We are still waiting on the results of this morning's scans, and after that we will go back to Clarkson to talk to Dr. Zehn about the details of the next 6 weeks.
Yesterday's meeting with Dr. Zehn, the radiation oncologist from Clarkson, was encouraging. He feels that radiation is worth doing and is checking into having it done in Kearney. We will talk to Minnie today after Liz has her CT scans to see what she thinks the next step will be. A lot will depend on what they find with these scans. If there are other tumors, then he will want to rethink it. Scans are at 10:45 - please keep your fingers crossed.
Last night we had dinner with some dear, sweet friends. We took over the upstairs area of the Upstream, with Steve, Kellie and kids, Matt,Jenny and Morgan and Patti, Hannah and Kevin. It was great to see everyone, very theraputic to be together. Morgan stayed the night with us and she and Lizzie had a ball!
I will update you when we know more.
Friday, December 9, 2005 9:58 AM CST
A devastating blow yesterday...Lizzie has a tumor surrounding her C5 vertebrae, which is putting pressure on the spinal cord. This could cause her to be paralyzed if left too long. However, the tumor has grown around some of the arteries, making complete tumor resection impossible. The neurologist we met with yesterday told us that while surgery is possible, recovery will be extensive, requiring Lizzie to wear a stabilizing device called a halo for 3 months. He won't do the surgery if we dont have a chemo that will remove the remaining tumor.
Dr. Abromowitch is going to be talking to some specialists at the Med Center today to see if there is someone there who is willing to try surgery. She also wants to find someone who might be willing to do high-dose radiation directly to the site. She will call us today as soon as she knows more.
The tumor has caused the vertabrae to collapse, putting Lizzie in a lot of pain, so we need to find something soon.
Needless to say, the tumor in her arm has taken a backseat for now.
Jolie Edwards, our guardian angel, hung out with us all day yesterday, holding us up, crying with us, and just giving us strength. Thank you, Jolie, we love you.
After a very long day yesterday, we decided we needed to be at home (there was some question to staying overnight in case we could do surgery immediatley) with our girls and grandma and grandpa. It was late and we didn't want to take the time to stop and eat, so our dear, sweet guardian angels, Dr. L and Dr. A snuck some food out of the medical staff Christmas party. They brought it up to the H/O clinic and let us have our dinner there, afterhours. We can't thank them enough.
Kelli, Steve and Matt, it was so good to see you guys. Thanks for the hug, Kelli. It was much needed.
I will keep you posted.
I just want to say a quick thanks to Dave and Jean Berreckman. They held a fundraiser for Lizzie, and purchased her and her sisters a LiveStrong Laptop with the proceeds. You guys made Jessie and Lizzie very happy. We love you guys.
12/10/05 QUICK UPDATE
We have an appointment with a doctor at UNMC Monday the 12th at noon. We don't know anything about him - Anisa called Friday and said he would be willing to see us. Then Tuesday Liz has to have some more scans done at Children's first thing in the morning. Please pray for guidance and strength, for us and the doctors.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005 3:22 PM CST
Well, we didnt make it to Omaha today - we are snowed in! A big storm that shut down the entire town of Kearney hit here Sunday night, with blizzard conditions that kept us off the roads and indoors for a few (too many!) days!! So we missed our appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. But Anisa, as always, to the rescue! She made sure Lizzie's scans got sent to him anyway, and after looking at them he feels that he can do the surgery!! He will resect the area where the tumor is, removing the left humorous bone, do a fibula graft, and replace the missing bone with the fibula. Wow. This guy is my hero. We will meet with him on December 12th. In the meantime, Lizzie will have a full-body MRI on the 8th at Children's to make sure there are no other tumors. We will also do another AFP check and treatment of some kind.
Liz is feeling great - we all bundled up and went outside today and made a snowman, and she giggled and threw snowballs at me the entire time! It felt so good to see her cheeks so rosy and to hear that laughter!! Once again, she just amazes me!!
Saturday, November 26, 2005 3:39 PM CST
Another disappointing check-up...on the 18th we ran another blood test and found out Lizzie's AFP is back up a little. Dr. Abromowitch ordered an MRI, and reported the tumor has grown an inch longer since her last scan.
Because Elizabeth gets horrible mouth sores the doctor decided to hold off on the Avastin and just do the chemo this time, to see if it makes a difference. She started on the 19th, and so far so good. This is a bittersweet victory, though, because the Avastin seemed to keep the AFP in check. We'll just have to see...
We take Liz to see an orthopedic surgeon at the Lied center in Omaha on the 29th. Hopefully he will have some options in mind. We hate the thought of putting Liz through yet another surgery, but maybe we'll get it and be done this time.
Lizzie's spirits are pretty low. She's tired of all the medicine, and tired of all the appointments, and tired of feeling sick. Most of all, she's tired of cancer.
Tuesday, November 8, 2005 4:36 PM CST
Good news from Omaha!! We had an AFP check last Friday and found out they are still going down!! From 3665 to 3193!! What a fighter that girl is!
She had 2 weeks of chemo and another treatment of Avastin. Feeling pretty well, she has some nasty mouth sores again that just wont leave her alone. But she is able to go to school and participate in her youth symphony. She and Jessica had concerts all weekend in Grand Island. She was pretty worn out by Sunday but enjoyed every minute of it, and is already looking forward to next semester. You go girl!!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005 2:34 PM CDT
Well, Lizzie was finally cleared for her chemo treatment yesterday - she took her first dose last night. Last Wednesday she was able to take her Avastin, and everything went fine. The chemo is making her feel rotten again, she is home from school today, hangin out with Mom at work. We are hoping to stay on top of the mouthsores this time. Not yet sure when we will check back in at the H/O clinic.
We had a great weekend. Our favorite Nashville star, Ms. Jolie Edwards, performed at Platsmouth High School on Saturday, so we road tripped to Bellevue with several friends and family members. Jolie put on a great concert and even invited Lizzie up on stage with her, along with our friends Rachel, Annie and Vannessa. What an unbelievable night! It felt so good to see Liz up there singing and dancing - totally living strong!! Thanks, Jolie!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005 10:50 AM CDT
AFP levels are once again stabilized - 3665 (3633 2 weeks ago). We are trying to keep this in a positive light, but after such a great report at the last appointment, it felt like a blow. I am so tired of these shades of gray, but am greatful that the levels aren't up. Lizzie herself feels defeated. She has terrible mouth sores that are preventing her from eating and feeling good. The doctor prescribed 3 different mouth rinses that are taken 4-5 times a day. Until the sores are gone we will hold off any treatment.
Wednesday, October 5, 2005 11:19 AM CDT
One year ago today Elizabeth Mae had hip surgery! It was her 4th major surgery and we were told she might have a slight limp for the rest of her life and would have difficulty running. Yesterday in PE she ran for 10 minutes straight, and when prancing around school, home and everywhere else there is absolutely NO LIMP!! Way to go Lizzie!! We are SO PROUD of your strong, sassy spirit! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!
Monday, September 26, 2005 2:48 PM CDT
GREAT NEWS!!!! AFP levels are DOWN!! Two weeks ago they were 4629, today they are 3633!!WHOOHOOO!!! She has only had two out of the scheduled three weeks of the new chemo, and already it is KICKING BUTT!!! Also, I forgot to mention in the last update that the 'tumor' she had in her shoulder does not exist - it was just a miscommunication between doctors somehow. SO! Good news all over the place!
Lizzie is feeling good, she is able to go to school and participate in orchestra. Her arm pain is all but gone. What a fighter!!
**Please keep our friends Kellie and Steve in your thoughts - Jake is having some tests done this weeks and they need all of our positive thoughts and prayers.
Friday, September 16, 2005 8:30 AM CDT
More good news on the 12th!! AFP levels are dropping! Down to 4629! The docs are happy but still searching for something more aggressive to get rid of those darn cells. SO, Lizzie has started oral chemo - VP16 taken twice a day at home. It's the liquid form and tastes terrible and is making her feel rotten - she has not gone to school since Wednesday. It's a 21 day protocol and everyday she feels a little bit worse. She is only on the 3rd day so poor baby will have a long month I'm afraid. We just have to have hope that it is worth it.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 9:40 AM CDT
GREAT NEWS! The AFP levels are stable! They went from 4540 to 4705. After doubling every 2 weeks for several months, this slow climb tells us that something is working. AND the tumor in her arm is smaller!! WHOOHOOO!
One note of bad news is that we did discover she has a tumor in her shoulder, and has for a couple of months now. Somehow in the confusion of all the tests we were never told about it. (Perhaps a blessing in disguise?) Anyway, that one is NOT growing.
She had another treatment of Avastin, and did very well. Felt a little worn out after the Zofran and a 2 hour scan (go figure) but is in school today and doing well.
Thank you thank you thank you for all the prayers and positive messages!
Wednesday, August 24, 2005 9:26 AM CDT
Lizzie's treatment went very well - no side effects at all! Her arm has quit hurting and she feels great. School is going well - she is taking high school spanish this year and is enjoying the challenge. It's so good to watch her throw that back-pack over her shoulder, toss her red hair back, and prance toward her day. She is so strong!
As most of you know, Lizzie was on the news last Friday, she was interviewed about her bracelets. We haven't seen it yet, but are waiting on a tape from Julie. As expected, it has brought in many orders. I have been experiencing a certain lack of enthusiasm concerning the bracelets lately and was not excited about filling more orders. However, I was blessed with a phone conversation recently with a mom from the H/O clinic. She was placing a bracelet order, and we started talking about her child who has had a long battle with cancer. Her attitude was strong and positive, and it just blew me away, and picked me up, giving me a much needed boost. Here is the thing. I am just amazed at how so many parents and kids keep going, with a smile on their face and a song in their hearts. I have had a hard time not feeling sorry for myself and my family these days, while shaking my fist at fate, and then I get on the caringbridge website, or get an unexpected phone call from an mother, and everyone is so positive and happy to have another day. You all are wonderful! All of our friends and family that call and/or write on the website, all of the strangers that enter our lives - thank you so much for teaching us that each day is such a blessing, and that every cloud out there really does have a silver lining.
We go back to Omaha on the 30th for a treatment and MRI. I will let everyone know how it goes! Keep smiling!
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 1:32 PM CDT
The National Institute of Health has not been in contact with our doctor yet, but the specialist in L.A. that we took Liz to last year had a drug in mind. So we are in Omaha right now while Lizzie get her first dose of Avastin, an antiangiogenisis drug that is supposed to stop cell grow. It takes 90 minutes and is given through an IV. Possible side effects are queasiness and headaches, high blood pressure and maybe some protein in the urine. Anisa will keep an eye on her and if all goes well, we might get to do this in Kearney next time. It's given every 2 weeks.
Lizzie's arm and shoulder are really bothering her, and the reality of her situtation is starting to have it's way with her. She's pretty down right now, but I'm hoping school will take her mind off of everything.
Tuesday, August 9, 2005 7:58 PM CDT
Yesterday's appointment brought more disappointment. Lizzie's AFP levels are still rising - up to 3960 now, inspite of the chemo. We will abandon that protocol. Our doctor is contacting the National Institute of Health to see if they have any ideas on what to do next.
Sunday, July 31, 2005 8:32 PM CDT
Lizzie, Jessica and Joe got home Wednesday. Elizabeth's ANC went from 0 on Sunday to 420 on Wednesday to 4200 on Friday!! She is feeling good and is so happy to be out of the hospital! Having her buddies Jolie and Charis come hang out with her helped pass the time, though. Thanks, gals!!
Jessica finally got to see what hospital life is like. She was a real trooper though and hung in there. I think she was pretty happy to get home and sleep in a real bed!!
We will take Lizzie back to Omaha for the big check-up on August 8th. Keep your fingers crossed that we have found the magic potion at last!!
Sunday, July 24, 2005 6:15 PM CDT
Lizzie's last appointment showed another jump in the AFP levels, doubling once again in 2 weeks. The tumor on her arm was no different, so some scans were run and some areas on her ribs lit up. We decided to stop the Thalidomide and start a new chemo protocol. She had 5 days of treatment in Kearney with a 2 week break planned afterwards. The treatment went well, she felt mildly sick and tired but nothing too bad. We sent her off to Camp CoHoLo where she had a great time. Be sure and check out the great pictures at campcoholo.com, click on photo gallery.
However, when Joe picked her up from camp today, he was told to take her in to the emergency room at Children's Hospital in Omaha. She had an inflamed area on her knee, and since her immune system wasn't as good at it needed to be she had to be checked out right away. Upon arriving at the ER she had a fever of 100.4 and her white count was extremely low, so she was admitted to the hospital and put on antibiotics. The inflamed area was drained. She experienced an allergic reaction to the antibiotics and was given benedryll.
We are not sure when she will get to come home just yet, the fever continues to hover around 100 degrees.
While this is a small setback, we need our little girl home with us, so please pray extra hard for our little 'Miracle'!
Wednesday, July 6, 2005 8:36 PM CDT
On our last visit to Omaha we were met with discouraging news - Lizzie's AFP levels doubled - up to 1037. Since our trip to New Mexico was already planned and payed for (thanks Mom & Rod!) Anisa told us to plan on coming back July 11th for another appointment. Lizzie will have some scans on that day, and of course, a blood draw. We will also discuss chemo options and try to make a decision on our next step.
So we packed up and flew to Albuquerque where we have spent the past few days enjoying Granny and Papa, Uncle Wayne, and cousins James and Martin. It's been a relaxing, fun-filled time.
Today, however, was incredible. We all drove up to a place called Chimayo, a place where miraculous healings have taken place. It is a sanctuary in northern New Mexico with a special place called the pit, where holy dirt can be found in a tiny room containing a hole in the ground. This dirt contains healing powers. Statues, stories, pictures, rosaries and discarded crutches line the walls of the sacristy room leading up to the pit. Our journey today cannot be described with mere words, but needless to say it was a powerful day filled with emotions, healings, and the Holy Spirit. We will have our digital expert and beloved friend, Dave Berreckman, post pictures as soon as we are back in NE.
We have two more days in the Land of Enchantment, and then will return home to our latest members of the family, Miracle and Shadow, Lizzie and Jessica's new kitties. They are missed terribly! (Thanks Berreckmans for kitty-sitting!! We miss you too!)
May God bless you with His healing powers.
Friday, June 10, 2005 3:52 PM CDT
Yesterday Joe and I met Elizabeth, Jesssica and Abigail in Omaha for a check-up. The girls had spent two weeks with Joe' parents in Iowa. They had so much fun on the farm, but I think they were pretty happy to see Mom and Dad. We were VERY HAPPY to see them. It was pretty quiet without them!
Lizzie's AFP levels continue to climb, up to 581 now. Dr. A wants to keep doing what we are doing for now, and we go back on the 26th. Lizzie feels great and is looking forward to going to New Mexico to see her Granny and Papa next week.
Saturday, May 28, 2005 8:51 AM CDT
Lizzie's appointment on Thursday revealed that her AFP levels are still climbing slowly, up to 416, but the tumor itself has not changed much. We will increase her Thalidomide and go back to Omaha on June 9th. After the appointment Elizabeth, Jessica and Abby left for Iowa. Joe's parents live on a farm in Charles City, and it's a summer treat to go spend a couple of weeks with Grandma and Grandpa. Because of treatments and surgeries, Lizzie has not been able to go for the past 3 years. But this year it worked out, and the three are having a great time. True to her beautiful personality, Lizzie is Living Strong!!!
We had a wonderful birthday celebration, with around 100 family and friends showing up. Rachel and Lizzie were smiling all night, and their feet never touched the ground! The next weekend we had our Relay for Life, where Queen Lizzie passed on her crown to Rachel! We are excited and happy to have our new Queen!
Please keep our girl in your prayers, she is healthy and happy, and we want her to stay that way. God Bless!
Sunday, May 8, 2005 6:25 PM CDT
We took Elizabeth to the doctor on Thursday, the 5th. Her AFP levels went up a little, to 307. She has been complaining of her arm hurting, so Dr. Abromowitch decided to do a STIR MRI. After an hour and a half, an area on her arm showed up that made the doctor think that she might have suffered a break(she fell while ice skating a few weeks ago at a birthday party), so they ordered a plain x-ray. This revealed that her arm was not broken, instead, it is a tumor that is causing the pain.
At this point Dr. A doesn't want to do surgery since Lizzie is feeling good and we don't have any chemotherapy available at this time. So she will continue to take Thalidomide, and will also start taking Celebrex, which is a pain killer commonly used for arthritis. They have had some accidental success with it in some cancers. We go back to Omaha on the 26th.
Other than her arm hurting and being a little discouraged, she is in good spirits, looking forward to her big day on Thursday - the big 1-3!!! Thank you to everyone who has e-mailed her or sent cards - you bring a smile!!
Joe and I went on a 'retreat' this weekend with our good friends, Dave and Jean Berreckman. Their strong faith and compassionate spirits coupled with several healing masses have renewed our spirits and given us the strength to LiveStrong. We know that our time is different that God's time, and Lizzie has much to do in her life...she will win this battle!!
Tuesday, April 26, 2005 9:27 PM CDT
We found out today that we will not be going to the National Cancer Institute. There is nothing they can do for Lizzie that has not already been done. Dr. Abromowitch wants to see her back on May 5th for another protein check. For the next couple of months we will just keep an eye on her AFP levels and see what happens. For now, we are looking forward to Lizzie's 13th birthday, which we will celebrate with our dear friends, the Berreckmans, and look to the future with hope and faith. LiveStrong!!
Saturday, April 23, 2005 6:03 PM CDT
Lizzie had a check-up and some scans done in Omaha yesterday. The blood test revealed that her AFP levels are continuing to rise, up to 238. The scans were inconclusive, so Dr. Abromowitch wants Joe and I to take Lizzie to the National Cancer Institute in Washington D.C. We will find out more info next week. We have used all the chemotherapies we can, so this is the next logical step in our journey. Lizzie continues to LiveStrong, with her infamous smile in place, sagging only a little under this horrible weight that has been given to her. We know that God's time is different than our time, and we are keeping the faith!
Saturday, April 9, 2005 9:31 AM CDT
Hello everyone! We had an appointment in Omaha on Thursday. Lizzie had to meet with the endocrinologist,last month the doctors checked her thyroid because she was having some burning sensations in her toes.We found out her thyroid is underactive. Not by much but just enough that they want to start her on medication for it. After we met with the endo people we went down to the lobby and Lizzie and her friend Rachel were interviewied for their C.A.R.E. bracelets! That was fun and the girls really enjoyed it.
Later we met with the doctor and found out Lizzie's AFP is back up to 115. Her liver enzymes are also elevated. We have to go back to Omaha in two weeks for another AFP check. Meanwhile, on Monday in Kearney we have to go to the cancer center to check her liver enzymes-which might be elevated because she had a virius this week. Hopefully that is all that is going on and no tumor. Best wishes to everyone and we hope you all have a good weeknend!
P.S. Please stop by Haley's website and wish that beautiful girl a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Tuesday, March 15, 2005 7:38 PM CST
We had good news in Omaha on Thursday! Lizzie's AFP was 25! Basically her AFP (which was 24 last month) didn't go any where so we go back on April 7th for another checkup. She continues to take Thalidomide and Dr. A. might up her dose to 200 miligrams next month. Lizzie is kept very busy with school and with theatre practice for the up coming play she's in. This month will probably go fast but we will enjoy it! Take care everyone!
The Strattons
Wednesday, February 16, 2005 6:05 PM CST
We went to see the nuerologist yesterday because Lizzie has been having some toe burning which the doctors think might be connected to the medicine she is currently on. She just had to have some nerve testing and everything turned out fine; she just doesn't have any refluxes in her arms or legs. The doctors think that that is because of chemo and she will get them back. We have to go back every three months now to see the nuerologist but we are going to try and schedule Omaha visits and nuerologist visits on the same day. So now we don't go back to Omaha until March 7th! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, February 13, 2005 1:06 PM CST
We got some AWESOME news from Omaha on Feb.7th. Her cancer marker levels went from 77 to 24 in two weeks! 0-15 is normal! We have to go back and see a nuerologist in Omaha on the 15th because she has had some toe burning that her doctors think might be related to a medicine she is currently on. They just want to do some nerve testing to see if it is due to this med. or not. Other than that,we don't see our doctor in Omaha until March 7th. She has been in school for the past three weeks and she is loving it!
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