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Jun 23-29

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Hello Everyone,

I have reached a place in the recovery process where Shay and I both thought it would be a good idea if I participated in this process of updating folx (which at the beginning, I did not know was happening).

So... I am back to a space where my memory is working, and my balance is normal (since I couldn't walk by myself at the beginning of this process, and even when I could, my balance was very hard to manage.). I do not remember any of my time in the hospital, nor do I remember the first couple of weeks being home. If you visited me, thank you so much for coming, and I can honestly say that I do not remember. Whatever I said to you, I probably meant it, as in my conversations, I've discovered that I spoke the things I thought about and normally didn't share out loud like they were the simple truth.

I spoke to my doctor about whether or not I could drive, as well as what she thought about me stepping back into teaching/acting. She suggested starting everything like it was a test, to see how I could handle it. The drive around the block went... okay. I discovered that I couldn't focus at all when I looked in the side mirrors. It was like my brain couldn't process the info fast enough. But with a little practice, I overcame that. With an audition, my short term memory had trouble holding onto words, and putting them together in sequence was difficult. I've done 3 now, and they have exponentially gotten better. Then with teaching, I normally work with multiple companies at once, teaching at a variety of schools. I've still been working with one, and I must say, that while the beginning was hard, it has helped me improve the most in terms of memory and cognitive function. It greatly helped with the process of healing (cuz apparently my brain remembered Shakespeare and language quite well, even Spanish which was weird)! So, I'm back to a space where I may attempt to see how I can do with a second school.

For those of you that helped financially, thank you so much. That money, at this point has gone to treatment related expenses (even with insurance, the difficulty of what is covered and what is not was exponentially difficult), and has helped cover some of the expenses associated with regular bills that I need to cover here at home.  During the recovery process, I had to be replaced on a film I had booked and had begun shooting, so I lost work was in recovery while I would've been doing the things that would've contributed to my finances. Literally, I did not know there were this many people that cared, and I am SO grateful for the help and encouragement we've received.

Shay has been traveling quite a bit this past month which has been hard, but I have been taking it as a time for reflection and focus on myself.  I'm not at 100% yet, but I feel like I've reached a solid 80/85%. As my doctor, and Shay have said, repeatedly, I need to not rush to process of recovery. I'm still learning spaces that my brain still has some healing to do, and resting & practicing more self care then I did before. And if you see me up on social media in the middle of the night... maybe remind me that I should be sleeping 😉 

I love you all, thank you for your support and love.

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