COVID-19 Survivor: ‘I am Infused With an Unbelievable Sense of Gratitude’
Patricia McMorrow | 11.18.20
Bernie Goldblatt’s greatest fears include feeling closed-in—he’s claustrophobic—and being unable to breathe. The 6-foot-4 husband, dad and grandfather, a man of large presence and voice, had to face both fears, and so much more, over four months in 2020 when COVID-19 nearly claimed his lungs, kidneys and his life.
It was April 1 when the newly retired executive director of Adath Jeshurun Synagogue in Minnetonka, MN, went to urgent care with a fever and a cough. Bernie was quickly transported to the hospital by ambulance, where he went from texting and talking on the phone with Leslie, his wife of 45 years, to intubation, an induced coma and being placed on a ventilator.
When he woke up three weeks later, Bernie was too weak to lift a finger, and he couldn’t speak after being intubated for so long. “The medical staff piled pillows high on either side of me and put about three blankets over me,” he said. “I’m claustrophobic and felt like I was buried alive. To this day, I don’t understand how I didn’t lose my mind.”
Bernie’s mind also survived non-stop nightmares, hallucinations and ICU delirium, in which monsters hijacked his dreams and he imagined the deaths of everyone he knew and loved. Such terrors are common among COVID patients on ventilators, according to the CDC, but the virus makes it worse because family members aren’t on hand to provide a calming presence.
Leslie would have given anything to hold her husband’s hand and help chase away the demons, but it was impossible—and not just because of hospital-visitor restrictions. Leslie had COVID, too.
Her symptoms were milder than Bernie’s, but she had a fever, muscle aches and chills, and she lost her sense of taste and smell. She was able to recuperate at home with the family dog and cat, and she had support at a distance from her three daughters, her mom and close friends. But, because of the uncertainty of Bernie’s survival, there was more worry than rest.
On three occasions, doctors asked Leslie to consider “what Bernie might want to do,” which she knew meant, “should he stay on life support?” Each time, her response was, “Yes. He’s going to live.”
Bernie’s vital signs didn’t always reflect Leslie’s optimism and, from her medical training as a veterinarian, she knew he was in crisis. So with no other way to help, Leslie began directing energy toward Bernie’s healing. “Maybe it was just me wanting to believe,” she said, “but I do feel like Bernie received that energy.”
Leslie also was focused on staying in contact with Bernie’s medical team, talking to doctors who sometimes needed her input on decisions, and putting on as brave a face as possible for her daughters and Bernie’s siblings, who were reeling.
That left no energy for responding to phone calls, emails and texts from those hoping for any good news about Bernie. Realizing how much Leslie was managing, the rabbi at Adath, who had worked with Bernie for 20 years, pointed Leslie toward CaringBridge.
“With me also sick at the beginning, I just couldn’t keep everyone updated,” Leslie said. “It was the suggestion of our rabbi, Harold Kravitz, to create a CaringBridge site for Bernie—really for me—and to have someone else do the writing.”
In stepped Ellen Sue Parker, a dear family friend for as long as anyone remembers. She and another friend, Chris Bez, set up the site when Bernie was moved to the ICU, and Ellen Sue began creating updates based on news shared by Leslie. From there, Bernie’s CaringBridge Journal took on a life of its own.
“It was astonishing to me, the breadth of people who took the time to leave a comment or a well-wish,” Leslie said. “People from our childhoods, friends of our children, Bernie’s siblings, co-workers and names we didn’t even know, of people from all over the world. In this time of COVID, where I could have felt so isolated, I did not feel alone.”
Over his weeks in the ICU, nurses would put Bernie’s iPhone to his ear as Leslie sang a lullaby from his childhood. But as Bernie regained consciousness and the ability to breathe on his own, Leslie would read to him from his CaringBridge Journal.
By the time Bernie was released to go home with a wheelchair and walker—four months later, 50 pounds lighter and with a much softer voice still healing from intubation—his CaringBridge site had been visited more than 80,000 times.
As Bernie works to recover the many things that COVID tried to take away, including his breath, strength and voice, Ellen Sue still posts updates. She often writes about Bernie’s progress, and hope, ahead of Shabbat, a weekly celebration of family and gratitude that now has even deeper meaning for Bernie.
“The prayers, the wishes for healing, the positive energy, the kindness of all these people who posted to me on CaringBridge … it affected my survival and my recovery,” Bernie said. “I am infused with an unbelievable sense of gratitude: for being alive, for excellent medical care and for the support of family and friends.”
Start a CaringBridge Site
When you’re going through a health journey, you have a lot on your plate. CaringBridge replaces the time-consuming task of sharing your health news over and over. It’s a free, easy to use online journal for sharing health information with your family and friends.
Don’t go through your health journey alone.
You can stay connected to friends and family, plan and coordinate meals, and experience love from any distance.
All of this is ready for you when you start your personal CaringBridge site, which is completely free of charge, ad-free, private and secure. Don’t spend another minute alone!
Keep up the progress! Attitude is everything! No matter what you always need goals, and I hope you are able to reach them! Good luck!
Thanks for sharing your faith, and experiences with me and others. I appreciate you expressing your compassionate feelings with the group. Praying that God will keep you in His favors.
Bernie and Leslie, so happy you got your lives back from your journey to your own personal hell with Covid 19. It is good to hear you are getting better and I pray your improvement continues.
May God continue to bless you!
Since finding this page as an outlet for my blog, it as allowed me to put my thoughts in order, somewhat. Some days they are scattered, other they are not. Either way, it has been an outlet for me. I hope you get something out of it .
Hi Bernie and Leslie, so happy that you are both on the road to recovery. Sending you strength and prayers for continues progress forward.
Dear Bernie, what an inspiration. Wish i knew about Caring Bridge last year. Unfortunately, I’ve lost family members to illnesses and recently to covid, continued prayers and healing for you and your family
Bernie & Leslie your lives are a testimony to a beautiful love story. So glad you are both recovering, when so many Covid patients have not. People are restless with staying at home, but I Thank God everyday that I am at home and not on a ventilator. I would love to hear updates from Bernie as he has made a miraculous recovery. God Bless You Both.?
Covid is so unpredictable, but with faith and love and energy you can survive. Continued healing…
How inspiring you are, Bernie. My brother is very ill with Covid. This really gives me hope. Thank you.
Bernie, Moshe Spero shared your story with me. Refuah shlaima – to you and yours. And especially a very happy birthday!! You may remember from at least 50 years ago that you and I share a birthday. Moshe Spero reminds me every year!!
Dear Bernie and Leslie,I will spare you the peculiar pathway by which I located you, which quickly led me to various web photos regarding your fascinating activities… and, finally, to this item regarding your debacle with COVID-19. I am so sorry to have learned of your suffering, but gladdened in triple-measure by your recovery, physically and spiritually — thanks to medical science, your personal vitality and courage, your wife and family’s support, and your faith. Though we have not shared a word in more than some 55 years, a classmate is a classmate (and for several years would greet your father daily on the floor of the building in which we apparently both had offices). We here in Israel are doing our best with this plague, though I encounter life-stories such as yours every day, many of which do not have the fortunate turn of events that you are enjoying. But many with your kind of profile have done well, and I wish you continued strength of health, spirit and faith as you push to the end of this battle. The photo of you making Kiddush was very inspiring. Best and warmest wishes from myself and Yehudit (Judy Haas), and Barbara Weisberg Rock.
Berie my story mimics yours. I am having a horrible time. I coded 3 times during my stay in the hospitalLook for my story on here also eliscovidrecovery
Bernie, on 12/2/2020 I began my 28 day stay in ICU with Covid. I have been home for 23 days and we are both on the road to recovery with our loved ones by our side. We can do this! PS – I can cry at the drop of a hat. Listen to your doctors and keep moving. Love and prayers – Tom Taylor
Thank you so much for telling your story . It gives our family much hope . We have a family member battling this virus since December. The information we received from the caring bridge has helped so much.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey. May the Almighty grant continue being your guide and strength
Dear Bernie and family,Thank you for sharing all the struggles you have experienced. It is an inspiration to hear all the progress that you have made. My congratulations to you and your family. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.Hugs, Holly
Thank you for sharing Bernie’s amazing journey & triumphant to restored health & on the road to a full recovery! God bless his wife Leslie, family, friends & hospital staff for their extraordinary efforts & support! It does take a village!
Thank you so much for sharing this story. My family is going through this awful disease right now with my sisters husband, Herb Houser. He is in the Methodist Hospital ? n Indianapolis, In. We too have ask for so many prayers. He has congestive heart disease, and the Covid has attacked his lungs where he was put on the ventilator a few days age. His kidney function is in distress as well. Your sharing this story has given me hope that in time we too can share his successful record story, but right now we have a love way to. Please pray for Herb, my sister and their two children.
This story practically rhymes with what my family is going through with my sweet Mother-In-Law, Kim. I usually log on to Caring Bridge, leave an update, read some comments and move on.This morning I was compelled to stay a while and read your story.It gives me such hope. Thank you for sharing. I’m so happy Bernie is home and LIVING again!
Thank you Leslie for sharing Bernie’s recovery and yours. Best wishes for a wonderful 2021.
BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL STORY, WELL DONE. MAZEL TOV TO BERNIE AND LESLIE! YOU FOUGHT THE FIGHT, AND RECUPERATED. NOW YOU HAVE IN HAND ALL THE WONDERFUL WISHES OF FRIENDS AND STRANGERS, THANKS TO CARING BRIDGE, AND RE-READING ONE OR TWO EVERY DAY WILL CONTINUE TO BOLSTER YOUR SPIRITS. I WISH YOU A LONG, HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER; BERNIE, DON’T EVER FORGET HOW LESLIE PULLED YOU THROUGH. FUZ
This is the message I was hoping for, you’re home!Continued prayers and very positive thoughts.Hugs and love, Auntie Merle
Thank you so much for sharing your story of faith and hope during such a difficult time. You have given me hope for my son, who is at the place you were 4 months ago. It is so hard not to be able to see him, and encourage him in person.
After my 18 yo daughter being almost intibated and myself in the hospital For COVID…I realize the struggle that it brings. We are recovering now but it has taken months away from our family and friends and we are so blessed to have had people bring us food and check in and pray for us. I’m so glad you are recovering
Very inspiring, thank you for sharing, reading this, I believe, seems to make us all a bit stronger and more more able to cope with our own difficulties. Happy for you and your family….
you sound…wonderful…. as this 82 yr old Shabbat-celebrating Grandmother living in the Mtns of Coloradowrites…while searching for the Caring Bridge site for my 14 yr old Grandson Brody Michael Huber with a brain tumor…may God Keep you in the best of health Bernie. I will pray for you if you offer one up for my Brody. Heal-well, Vicki
you sound…wonderful…. as this 82 yr old Jewish Grandmother living in the Mtns of Coloradowrites…while searching for the Caring Bridge site for my 14 yr old Grandson Brody Michael Huber with a brain tumor…may God Keep you in the best of health Bernie. I will pray for you if you offer one up for my Brody. Heal-well, Vicki
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story of hope and faith. May God continue to bless you and your family.
What an inspiring testiment to your faith and love! Thank you for making your story public. God bless you with continued healing and HOPE in Him!
Grateful, sir! You are a walking miracle!
Your story and venture with COVID and recovery is so gratifying and heartwarming. In these times of COVID news every day it is such a blessing to hear of your healing journey and the support that you have from all over the globe. I include my prayers for healing each and every day.
Such resilience. Wonderful story about hope and love. Thank you for sharing. Hoping the healing continues with each day.
Bernie and Ellen,You don’t know me but I read all this and felt led to write. Such a long journey. But so glad to hear you are improving and doing well. Wonderful. God bless you all. Hugs… Kendra from Indiana ?
I am so grateful to read how well Bernie is doing !! & Leslie too. I didn’t realize Leslie had the virus too !! Thank G-d you are both doing so well. Your story is one oh hope inspiration & faith !!! May G-d bless you all !!! Please get 100% healthy & stay that way !! We love you all !!! Love Stu & the Buffalo Boyars !!!
Came across your posting and happy to hear Bernie has made this remarkable recovery. God still has other plans for him. God bless.
Praising God for the power of prayer. I have a loved one that is on life support and it’s killing me. Thanks for a encouraging post! God Bless
Dear Leslie and Bernie,We are so thrilled for your return from home and for your wonderful recovery from this horrible illness! 4 years ago I developed Guillian Barre, in which I eventually developed respiratory failure and was placed on a ventilator and next received a tracheotomy, as I did very poorly on the ventilator. After 3 1/2 months I was able to recover. I understand how disarming it is to feel so helpless! My husband was an incredible help as were the thousands of people who prayed for me! I’m so happy to continue to pray for you both as you make a full recovery from this difficult time! May God richly bless you and give you both love! Warmly, Katherine Brock
Leslie & Bernie,Your story is not only inspiring, Godsend for me and my family.Four days ago, after talking to my dad, my mom, my wife, and I agreed to my dad being placed on a ventilator after fighting for almost a week, for each breath. When I talked to my dad, my heart sank when I heard him say, ‘I’m exhausted, son. I can’t keep going up and down. With the ventilator, I can rest and get better.’I always imagined that I would have the perfect words for my dad if/when ‘the time’ came. Words failed me and all I could muster was, ‘Dad, I love you! I’m so grateful to God that I could be your son.’ To which my dad responded, ‘No son. Thank you for being who you are, the best son a dad could have.’It sounds so cliche writing it out, but it may be the last words I heard. I’m holding on to them like gold.I run a nonprofit organization so it’s hard to get away, but I read how Leslie was sending energy to Bernie. I took a moment to close my eyes today and do the same. I was hoping I might ‘talk’ to my dad and guide him to peace, to be here with us.Silence.And then the doctor called. The news isn’t good. But the doctor isn’t giving up. We’re grateful. But I can’t/don’t want to believe that it ends with a cliche exchange.But your story gives hope. Again, thank you for lighting our very dark days with not only a story of recovery, but also of hope, faith, and the power of intention. Thank you, again.
WOW ! Quite an inspirational story involving a loving wife, great Faith, and the inclusion ofCaring Bridge. I think this is a healing module for sure. Thank you for this Service. May we notneed it but if we do it is a blessing!Ethel Janok
A beautiful story, beautifully written. Thank you for speaking with such force about faith and hope at this time when we all need both. It’s inspiring.
What a beautiful story of love and healing! Wishing everyone all the best.
Sending strength to you and your amazing family.
Wishing you continued healing.?
Wow! You and your wife are amazing!! I have a girl friend of 40 years who was not as fortunate as you. I am SO thankful that you have survived the Covid ordeal. I will keep you in my prayers as you recuperate to 100%. Happy travels to you when you are able to get be back on the road again! Have a blessed Christmas season.
Bernie… thank you for sharing your story of recovery. Your perseverance and family support is inspirational! May God bless you and yours as you continue to heal. Prayers going up!?????
Bernie – I have followed your progress from afar. I never had any doubt about your recovery knowing the fighter that you are & always have been. I am looking forward to when we can get together in person again! keep up the fight & here’s to a Happy 2021 for you & your entire family!
Bless your soul. I wish you strength and patience. Keep the faith, Papa God is good. Mary in Colorado.
Praise the Lord for healing your body. He is not finished with you yet!
So happy for the positive outcome. I am impressed with will to overcome COVID.
You may not remember me, but I certainly remember you. I live in Austin and know your brother and sister-in-law. Your story is remarkable. I followed it as much as I could thru David. I wish you and Bernie a refuah sh’lemah, a complete healing of body and spirit
I enjoyed reading your story of hope, faith & continued restoration of health. God Bless you both as you continue down the healing path from CoVid. Thank you for sharing. Merry Christmas!?
What an amazing story of faith of BOTH husband and wife! May God continue to bless your faithfulness to Him with health, healing and love overflowing for each other. I pray for continued healing
Thanks be to God. Our God shows mercy.
Y’all don’t know me, but I praise God for the work He hss done and is still doing in you! Many more blessings, I pray, on you and your family….Abundantly, exceedingly, beyond anything you could hope for!
My My My! Ain’t GOD GOOD! Thanks for sharing your husband’s remarkable journey! You Have Faith as a Mustard Seed! May GOD Continue Blessing You All During This Difficult Time with This Continuous Pandemic! Our Nursing Practitioner, Susan Borinsky wasn’t as fortunate, she succumbed to COVID-19. Her Husband Mark Chronicled her journey on Caring Bridge so Beautifully and Courageous…yet His Beloved Bride passed away ? Again Tjanks for Sharing Y’all Journey with all of us! ??????
So glad you had a strong advocate and are on the mend.
My mom is battling for her life right now, God allowed me to read this random story that I never would have stopped at before! They considered putting her on a ventilator but she declined. Thank you for sharing your story, this brought me to tears! God bless you all!
Thanks for sharing……COVID-19 is REAL……So glad you both made it through!!
So very thankful for your progress and that you are back home with your sweet wife. God does hear our prayers and He is ever present with us. Praying for your continued recovery?❤️?
Amazing story! Thankful for a hopeful outcome!
I just read your story aloud to my husband Jeff and we both had tears. He was in the hospital for 38 days with Covid-19. When he came out on July 1, he was so weak he could scarcely hold a fork to eat. He had lost 30 pounds and looked like a skeleton, as he slept much of the day and struggled to use a walker. However, he has made a miraculous recovery and is almost entirely back to normal even as the doctor continues to monitor his heart. He is back to walking 2 miles a day. I had a milder case of Covid and missed him so much during that time after our 44 years of marriage. Writing for Caring Bridge allowed me to pour out my emotions and feel the love of our friends, family and even strangers. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Bernie and Leslie! God is merciful and Jeff is now starting to enjoy his retirement after more than 40 years in the ministry. I want to say, hang in there, anyone who is going through this hell! It takes time but beautiful healing can occur!
Thank you for sharing your story. Our son is no longer Covid positive, but is critically ill from the effects of Covid. We are entering week 6, and we don’t know how much longer his recovery will take. Our daughter-in-law was overwhelmed by the outpouring of concern, but she couldn’t keep up with the calls, texts, and emails. Our son’s Caring Bridge page has been a blessing to her as she navigates this horrible disease. My prayer is that our son will soon be able to share his Covid story and bless and encourage others as yours has me this morning. As I finish this post I am praying for you. Praying for complete healing and restoration of your body, mind and spirit. And as Hanukkah begins this week, I pray that God’s Light will shine brightly through you and your family.
The Dorfman family sends all their love and are so happy you are with your family again. God bless and have a healthy and wonderful New Year. Your the best!
I am thrilled that your wife certainly of your survival never gave up and pulled for you when you didn’t have the strength to do it yourself. That was a long time to be intubated. I am glad you have received the fresh thrill of being alive. which certainly sounds wonderful. The long term isolation and social distancing has made for a whole lot of humdrum waiting it out. So this evening, as you celebrated Shabbat , I sense the miracle and joy of survival and am happy with you. Maybe we all need to have a caring bridge site to renew a thankful spirit. G_d continue to strengthen youChar
How wonderful! I’m so happy and encouraged by your story. My husband, Al had a major stroke 4 weeks ago tomorrow (on 11/7/2020). He finally left the ICU & came to a regular hospital room at University Wisconsin Hospital in Madison yesterday. He will go to a special care nursing facility on Wednesday and then once his tracheostomy is healed in and stable he will will be moved to a long term care facility that is about 40 miles closer to our homeThough your experiences were dealing with recovery from Covid and Al’s is from this stroke, I find so many similarities. None of Al’s family or friends are able to be with him either because of Covid precautions. To compound Al’s problems of isolation, he is essentially deaf in his right ear and hearing in his left is very compromised. He does have a hearing aid for the left ear and only a few weeks before his stroke, had a cochlear device implanted for the right ear. However, because of his complicated recovery, his hearing devices were set aside and forgotten. As he came through all of those difficulties and was under so many medications, the staff was still not very encouraged about his long term prognosis, saying that he seemed to not show much interest in staff helping him or in responding to them. It was eventually realized today that he had these hearing devices and merely needed new batteries and charged batteries. If only I could have been visiting him all along, I could have made those devices known long before. Being an hour away it just hadn’t occurred to me that this was playing such a part in the low expectations the doctors had for him. I know it isn’t a “magic bullet” for all of his health issues, but I can’t wait to see how much this will help Al to be able to participate in his care!!He’s had so many procedures performed it’s hard to remember them all. The angiogram, PIC line, intubation tube 2 times, the procedure to drain fluid from on his brain, the feeding tube in his nose, the tracheostomy that eliminated the intubation tube & the G Tube that eliminated the nasal feeding tube. I had the similar experiences and feelings about the procedures when medical staff would call to ask permission for and the occasional doubts that plague the person making those decisions—What quality of life will my loved one have? Will I regret those decisions in the future? Will I wish I hadn’t agreed if it eventually results in only machines keeping my loved one alive? What would my loved one have chosen if it were up to them? However a strong faith in God and my belief that He has brought my loved one thru all those hurdles, given my husband’s strength and determination. I CANNOT IMAGINE GIVING UP!! The immense load taken off my shoulders when my son set up Al’s CaringBridge site is priceless. It is an invaluable gift to be able reach so many family, friends, and friends of family members all at once through a single posting to CaringBridge!! To hear it from me, so everyone gets the same news at the same time is invaluable. Not needing to make an unmanageable number of individual phone calls is such a blessing. I will hope and pray for your continued healing and improvement. May God continue to help you recover. Thank you CaringBridge!!
Keep up the food work. Y’all are making it. Hugs
Very, very impressive!!! So happy you’re all able to be with each other and celebrate the awesome progress!!! Major love to your family!!!
Thank you so much for your story as I read it was as if I was reading my husbands story he also went to ER on sept 27 and was put on vent and was on for 18days and then into reg room for a day and half then back to Icu on vent for another week with pneumonia he finally went to rehab and came home on Nov 13th as you look back months gone by but he is finally on the road to recovery my daughter was our caring bridge and she documented everyday for our family and friends. Again thank you. Deborah Gillis
Beautiful! Thanks for posting.
What a fabulous story of the bravest person I know, so committed to survive. And certainly for good reason – family. This is a story that cannot be forgotten. I’m so glad all the details have been either. Congratulations is just not enough.Stan
What an incredible journey of strength, determination, gratitude, prayer, and so much love. I’ve been following along and praying for you all and am so pleased to see such a happy outcome. Bless you all and may Bernie continue to heal and get stronger each day!! Lots of love, Heidi Winer
Libby, my heart goes out to you and your husband! I know what a long and winding journey this can be. I wish you strength and a full and complete recovery for your husband.
Thanks for sharing your story. I am reading it as my husband lays on a hospital bed on a ventilator and what you describe here is what was describe to me. His medial team is telling us the many scenarios that he might have to carry.