This will be my last journal entry in "Matt's Miracle." Today marks 1 month since Matt spoke his last words to me. Those words were "I love you." As I struggle to get through each day I continue to be thankful for the love he had for me and I for him. We shared a love that many people go a lifetime and never experience. It was real, it was deep, and it was unconditional. I take comfort in knowing that Matt is without pain in heaven. He now understands why his life on earth was cut so short. I don't understand, and probably won't until I join him there. But for now I find some peace in knowing that Matt is well and experiencing the wonders of heaven. Dustin and Tesa are full of questions. Their questions are amazing to me. One very simple question that has been asked by both of them is, "who will be our daddy now?" My response is always, "Daddy is still your daddy and always will be. He loves you and watches over you from heaven." Matt loved our kids with everything in him. I will continue to talk to them about the exceptional father that he was. My hope is that in time even Taylor and Jordyn will realize the magnitude of the love their daddy had for them, and still has for them from heaven. So for now we will just keep living one day at a time. The pain and heartache is extraordinary. So many dreams are shattered. God is my strength. I continue to see His hand in our lives. He has hand-picked people to love and care for me and the kids in Matt's absence. I am very behind on thank you's, but please know how thankful I am. Each and every act of kindness means so much. I am confident that Matt is especially thankful from above. And now one last time on this site I will say thank you. Thank you for your support and prayers. Thank you for walking this journey with us. And truly that is what it is...a journey. Our life on this earth is just the journey to heaven for all those who love the Lord. And so...as sad as I am to do it without Matt, my journey here continues. Jackie
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