As I write this it is hard to believe that in just a few days the 6th month anniversary of Landen's passing will be upon us. It is amazing how much time has gone by since his death. The girls were just starting dance when he was born and they just had their last dance rectial on Friday. The snow has given way to rain, sun, snow again, more rain, and finally some sun. The girls are done with school and I am anxiously awaiting the return of school. Yet it also seems as though time has passed so slow. It feels like just yesterday we were getting his room ready and bringing the really small preemie clothes to the hospital for him to wear. It seems like only days ago I finished his blanket, not months ago. I have often thought of closing down his website but people keep telling me "no don't I like going on there on seeing his pictures" so I have yet to shut it down. I am not sure if we will ever be ready to close this chapter of our lives. It was such a major part of it. John and I get a little better as time passes but losing Landen is something I am sure we will never really recover from. We still have no answers as to what happened and no odds as to whether or not it will happen again. This will not stop John and I, we do plan on trying to have another baby just not sure when. We have seen so many miracles in our lives that it is hard to stay angry or lose faith. Our girls are now our most precious miracles they were sent to us for a reason and we take comfort in knowing Landen was too and that he is no longer in pain. That he is up in Heaven watching over us and I think he is smiling and likes what he sees. Life has gone on in our house the girls continue to amaze us day after day whether it is the stories that Rhianna writes for us, especially the ones about Landen or Mackenzie coming running up to us begging to watch her because she has learned how to do a round off or a front hip circles in gymnastics. They both seem to have adjusted to what happened they still have questions and we do our best to answer them. But they are slowly returing to being themselves. I have recently gone back to doing daycare I only have one little girl but nevertheless it is a step back to my normal routine. I try every so often to re-read the words so many of you have written for my family but find it hard to make it pass the first few before I have to stop. But someday I hope to make it through them all. John and I can never express how much your words meant to us. We are very lucky to have people like you in our lives. We hope your families are all doing well and may you always find your lives truly blessed. Take care of your love ones. John, Megan, Rhianna, Mackenzie and "Landen"
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