Journal History

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Monday, June 27, 2011

Happy Birthday, Van! 14!!!! We were at Jasmin's softball tournament all weekend. I would look at the older girls (13) and think to myself "I can't see Savannah playing softball. I wonder if she ever would have?" I see you still drawing, crafting, painting and making jewelry and dancing at Spotlight.

I am wearing purple today for you! I need to get some pink in my wardrobe. :)

My heart still swells with hurt, pain and ache for you. Such a lovely girl you were.
Such a sweet, good, smart girl.

Love,
Mommy

Friday, February 18, 2011 12:55 AM CST

Hi, Van. I just wanted to write you a quick word of love and tell you how much I miss you. It has been nearly 7 years, since we last touched you. But...I can still feel the curves of your feet and arms. I can still see you whenever you puckered up to grant me one of my bazillion kisses that I asked for daily. I can still hear you telling Jasmin "to quit blowing 'heuh' owange juice breaf" in your face. LOL. It drove you nuts but made Jasmin giggle.

I was just telling Daddy that I have been having a hard time lately when I think about you. I get so sick to my tummy, and I start crying right away. I feel like my heart is going to burst. I miss you so much. I can tell you I still think it is totally so wrong & unfair that you aren't here with us. I am still very sad and hurt. It is unbearable.

I am sure you are always looking down on us, though. And... of course, I have to ask you to send me some good vibes these next few days, while I am in the home stretch before the bar. "Bar mojo" as my friend, Karen, calls it.

Miss you.
Mommy

Monday, October 11, 2010 7:43 AM CDT

Yesterday, was 10.10.10: better known to marathoners and Chicagoans as The 2010 Chicago Marathon. 26.2 grueling miles when you have bursitis in your hip that hurts without doing anything... and just had mouth surgery 3 weeks ago where the site is still a bit tender.

However, Savannah and the Wish kids kept me inspired and going! I ended up raising over $1,700 for the Chicago Make-A-Wish chapter.

Actually, the first 15 miles were, dare I say, a breeze. About mile 15, my hip, which was killing me before the race started, was in such pain- that it was now radiating down to my knee. Luckily, mile 15 - 18 still went ok. But by mile 18, I had to cut back my tempo. I stopped every 2 miles to walk through the water stations and stretch my hip. And at mile 22, when I was shuffling along the homestretch...Lance, Jasmin and our friends were screaming for me along with a zillion other spectators in Chinatown. Thank goodness I listened to others who ran before and put my name on my shirt. I ran that whole thing, but the last mile seemed like it took as long as the first 15. So many spectators, yelled my name that I was doing great. I would look up to give them a thumbs up, and their smiles, their true excitement for you...you knew you could do it.

My adrenalin was pumpin', the crowd radiated energy, runners outfits were laced with stories, and I was running with my fun ladies. From the sidelines, we read lots of fun signs ("They are just toenails" or "Run like you stole something" or "You all are Kenyas in my book" or one of my favorites, "You are my hero, Stranger"). Along the way, organizations played music over speakers, high school cheerleaders did cheers, and spectators sounded blowhorns & cowbells (who couldn't use more cowbell). Runners sported pictures of loved ones, "in honor/memories of," "We miss yous," or funny adages: "18 weeks ago this seemed like a good idea," "We got a case of the runs," or one couples: Husband's "I'm with Janet" wife's: "Steve made me do it" or "I had brain cancer surgery, what's your excuse?."

The presence of charities was undeniable. Charities I've never even heard of, too! The whole day the vibe was inspirational and at times overwhelming but always beautiful. The human spirit is truly beautiful.

Well, in the end, I ran the entire way. I finished at what I thought I would: 5 hrs 40min. Initially, my goal was to do it 5:00. However, after all the injury and lost training time, I was pleased to get there under 6!!! And, in the end, I am so sore. But- I did it!

Now - Make-A-Wish, go grant some wishes!!!!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010 7:20 PM CDT

On June 27th (this summer), Lance's beloved aunt, Mary Lou Markey, passed away from a 2 1/2 year battle with cancer. The day of her passing would have been Savannah's 13th birthday.

I say Lance's aunt, but family and friends would tell you that Mary Lou was like a second mom to him and his siblings. She was like a grandmother to Jasmin and her cousins - not a great-aunt. Mary Lou was not married and did not have children of her own, so you would guess correctly that she never missed a birthday or a special event for Lance, his siblings and their children. She is greatly missed, but I really feel her presence everywhere. I hear her favorite sayings in my mind and heart. I hear her words of wisdom and encouragement knowing they will continue to guide us all. Aside from wise words and always knowing just what to say, Mary Lou's cooking and baking was out of sight! While her wisdom will continue to guide us, her recipes will leave us all stumped and aching for her culinary touch. You see - you just can't replicate her recipes. She was a true scratch cook.

One of Mary Lou's dear friends, Mary Kirby, is starting a memorial scholarship in Mary Lou's name. Shortly after she decided to do this, Mary Kirby told Lance's mom that the scholarship would be in Savannah's memory, too. I wanted to share with you the announcement (scroll below).

Please think of our family as we continue to mourn the loss of Mary Lou and especially considering how quickly the holidays will approach.

Many thanks and blessings,
Amy


FOLLOWING IS THE MEMO ANNOUNCING MARY LOU'S SCHOLARSHIP WHICH THE USDA (MARY LOU'S EMPLOYER) DISSEMINATED:

**********************************************
TO: Illinois County Offices
and District Directors


FROM: Scherrie V. Giamanco, SED /s/Scherrie V. Giamanco
Illinois State FSA Office

SUBJECT: 2011 Mary Lou Markey “Savannah Smiles” Memorial Scholarship


Mary Lou Markey’s family wishes to establish a memorial scholarship in honor of her dedicated 40 years of service to ASCS/FSA and they are beginning it by contributing $500 to the memorial scholarship.

The scholarship is open to all relatives of IL Farm Service Agency employees (past or present, including retirees and deceased employees). Mary Lou’s family will be in charge of the guidelines and the areas of study for the scholarship that will be awarded at the 2011 IASCOE convention in March next year.

This scholarship is totally separate and distinct from the scholarships that IASCOE annually offers.

The reason for the “Savannah Smiles” name of the scholarship is Savannah was Mary Lou’s great niece Savannah Olson, who lost her battle with cancer at the age of 6 1/2, on March 27, 2004. Mary Lou passed away on what would have been Savannah’s 13th Birthday. Savannah is smiling after having received such a wonderful birthday gift.

Counties shall make retired county office personnel aware of this memorial scholarship.

The Lisa Manning Memorial Scholarship is still open for those who wish to contribute to this year’s scholarship award.

Please submit your checks payable to “IASCOE” and mail them to Mary Kirby at the STO and be sure and note that it is for the Mary Lou Markey Memorial Scholarship.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

************************************

Sunday, June 27, 2010 1:55 PM CDT

Happy Birthday, Angel Face. 13th...what would it be like if you were with us now?

We love and ache for you.

Lots of love, Oobs,
Mommy, Daddy and Jasmin

Tuesday, May 11, 2010 12:07 AM CDT

Hi All:

As many of you, I have registered to run the Chicago marathon on 10.10.10! I have been running for 12 years. I started running when Savannah was old enough to sit up in a jogger. Then when Jasmin came along, we had to buy a double-jogger to accommodate both girls.

For the past 5 years, my friend, Megan Gray, has been trying to convince me to do a 1/2 or full marathon. I finally caved! Actually, this year seemed perfect. Megan was joining Team Make-a-Wish, and I thought: what better way to run a marathon than to give back? Savannah had her MAW trip in 2001. What an AMAZING trip! MAW has a way of spoiling their wish kids!! More importantly, a child getting his/her MAW is really a HUGE deal at Savannah's hospital. Every child shares their MAW experience at clinic. Everyone shares in their joy. (I can't tell you how many times I shed tears of joy!) Savannah was no different: her trip really boosted all of our spirits. She was quick to share her trip with her doctors, nurses and friends at Hope.

So, here is my way of honoring Savannah's memory, and here is another way I can give back. I am blessed to have a body that will allow me to run. I am blessed to have friends and family who support my endeavor. I am blessed to have Megan as my fun and encouraging running partner. Truly I am honored to work hard so that other wish kids can experience "spirit re-chargers." Nothing is greater than a smile on a child's face.

Would you join me in helping raise funds to grant another child's wish?

Thank you for your support now & always!
Amy


http://teammakeawish.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=341532&lis=1&kntae341532=E833E3211DC64D789F03046BD94944B0&supId=291093316

Monday, April 26, 2010 8:41 AM CDT

Two weeks have passed since our Hope friend, Elliott, passed away from his 7-year battle w/leukemia. I've said it before a gazillion times, but whenever I think of Elliott, I think of his sense of humor. I think of him coming over to Savannah to put a smile on her face. What a sweet person Elliott was. About a year after Savannah died, I stepped back a lot from the childhood community (too painful - too hard to move on with my grieving process). However, I always followed Elliott's caringbridge page. His mother has continued to blog on Elliott's caringbridge since he died-- journalling their grieving. I always want to write about how her personal experiences mimic many of my own. I totally understand what you are saying! You are not alone!!! But the journalling is about her & not about me. So, I try my best to tell her to follow her heart in her grieving and that Elliott will be missed.

However, the past few weeks have been rough around here. Between Elliott's passing and family medical issues...including Jasmin's own...I am sad a lot lately. I am angry and irritable. I miss Savannah. I miss her. I miss her. I miss her. I started crying at a restaurant the other day. I am crying now. Bleh. It's all the same: you go on and try to live a good life, but you are never the same.

Anyway...Jasmin has been having severe episodes of nausea, irritability (gets irrational) and abdominal pain since the summer. We finally got the dr to send her to GI specialist. They just ruled out hypoglycemia and Celiac Disease. She is being sent for an ultrasound, though, this week. Yuck, on the one hand. But ok - I can do this on the other. Besides, the dr is thinking maybe she is just stressed. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Jasmin loves to be on the go! If you know Jazz, you know she likes to be involved. I guess that means we'd just slow down a bit.

But going to the doctor so much over the past 10 mos has got me thinking and a comment or two he has made to her has me thinking...do the drs think I am nuts? He mentioned that for a 10-year old, she has a fat file. Do they think I am looking for Jasmin to be sick? NO! Of course not. It took 3 years for Jasmin to be FINALLY diagnosed with asthma. I didn't give up on that. It's not like I'm looking for something - or am I??? Well, this morning I was watching the Today show, and they had a family on who lost a baby. (Baby was born ill: I missed what the condition was.) For their next pregnancy, the mom had to be on bed rest for the last 3 mos. The parents said that they took that very seriously, because they knew (learned) bad things can happen. And I wanted to hug them through the TV screen. Hug them for all their dedication and hug them because they get it! I thought -- see- once you've seen how bad it can go-- you fight and advocate for the health/wellness of your other children. If nothing's wrong, GREAT! But if something doesn't feel right, then the Mommy boots are coming on. Fat file = Mom advocates = asthma-related illnesses most of the time. (And some of the time, it's just a virus.)

Here's to some good news for the ultrasound.

Amy

Monday, April 12, 2010 3:31 PM CDT

As Lance & I celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary, we also mourn the passing of our dear friend, Elliott. Elliott was 18 years old and had battled for over 7 years. We first met Elliott's parents while Savannah was going through stem cell transplant. Soon after we ran into each other often at clinic. Those days Elliott was quick to bring a smile to our faces. He was funny and loved to see Savannah smile.

As I pray for his parents as they endure the road ahead, I plan on living out Elliott's legacy by doing my best to bringing a smile to others.

Peace,
Amy

Saturday, March 27, 2010 8:12 AM CDT

I can't believe it has been 6 years, since we last held you, last heard your voice, last touched. I miss you so much. Every day. I don't know how I've made it this long without you except that - we have Jasmin to bring sunshine to our life and that, as you know, your daddy is the best -and so are your grandparents and your aunts and uncles. We are blessed with amazing friends. I am grateful all the time for those in my life.

Jasmin and I still like to play - Savannah would love this dress! Savannah would want to see that movie! I have fun with it and am so glad that Jasmin does, too. I know she misses you a lot. She will ask questions about you. She also will tell me how she lets her friends know that they are so lucky to have their brothers and sisters, despite the headache their siblings seem to be to them.

You are always with us, Savannah. I love you so very, very much. I miss you with all my heart.

Love,
Mommy

Wednesday, December 16, 2009 8:12 PM CST

Many of you know that Savannah was a princess, a girlie-girl, dainty, soft & demure - all that stuff. Jasmin, on the other hand, wasn't so princess-y. Maybe more of tomboy? Tough, a bruiser, "no" isn't an answer kind of gal. She would turned her nose up at Savannah's princess costumes over the years: opting to be Jessie from Toy Story or a Pink Power Ranger or Madeline.

However, Jasmin could dig deep down and find her feminine side. Like her sister, she has always loved clothes. She definitely has a passion for fashion, as they say. But the years have passed, and she has softened up a bit, too. She has been dancing for 7 years (and is good!). While she still has a bit of her tomboy (softball traveling team/basketball) and still has a tough time with no - for the most part she is a bit more flexible.

And so tonight Jasmin brought me back to those days when Savannah was alive and gave me a little bit of comic relief (from finals and holidays sans Savannah)...

Jasmin told me that they are doing a play in her class called "Cinderella Outgrows the Glass Slipper." She hands me the script, and on the front page are the cast of characters. Her part is highlighted: "Sign Walker." I look up at her and her eyes are lit up as if it were Xmas morning, and Santa really has stork capabilities and delivered her a sibling. Trying to match her enthusiasm, I asked her how she was picked for the part and how exciting that of 24 students, she is 1 of 8 participating in the play ( you know: "the more you put into something, the more you get out of it"). She flies out of her chair and starts marching across the kitchen floor with her arm pumping up and down in the air-- all the while exclaiming: "I asked for it!!! You get to hold a ruler with a piece of paper on it that has my lines on it and walk across the stage!!!"

Well, she had me cracking me up. That's Jasmin - why volunteer to be a princess when you could be the sign holder???

Ah...somethings never change. And isn't that just a bit delightful?

Happy Holidays!
Amy

(Jasmin is in 4th grade now. She will be 10 next month. She had just turned four when Savannah died.)

Saturday, November 21, 2009 11:30 AM CST

Basically, you learn to push the pain, void and sadness down. You learn to live life missing her every single moment. You are grateful you have the gift of a surviving child, the strength of family and the joy of old & new friendships.

But sometimes...unexpectedly, a memory surfaces (a new memory!) and you are so happy for a new memory...cuz you just don't get to create memories anymore with her. And then...like a crushing blow, you are reminded that she is gone. And has been for 5 long years. And you gasp for air, because that's what crushing blows do to you.

And then you wipe away the tears cuz you have to go on. And you turn to your surviving child and thank God for sending her to you.

And that's how it is.

Saturday, June 27, 2009 1:38 PM CDT

Happy Birthday, Boo! We miss you sooooo very much. We could never articulate how much we miss you. Thank you so much for the visit Thursday night.

BuT...We are certain you organized and are now celebrating an awesome party! I can't believe you would be 12. I see your preschool classmates: How big they are! How mature! And of course, I wonder about you.

What I wouldn't do for a hug and kiss. What I wouldn't do to hear your voice...your thoughts...your feelings...your dreams and wishes as a pre-teen.

I love you so much.
Mommy

Friday, March 27, 2009 8:38 AM CDT

I miss you every day. I miss you so much. Words don't do my feelings and heart ache justice. I can't believe it has been 5 years since we last touched. The only way I've survived is because of family and friends. I'm sure you hear me telling Jasmin a lot that she is such a gift!

I'm so glad Daddy has the day off, and we pulled Jasmin out of school, and we are with family. There would be no better way to spend this day. I still tell people all the time about how much you valued your time with family and friends.

Hugs and kisses and all the love in the world.

I love you, Boo.

Mommy

Sunday, February 8, 2009 9:20 AM CST

I haven't updated Savannah's site in so long, because I don't think what I would write about has changed much.

I think I am surprised that people still check in on us here. I do know that living with the grief of her being gone gets a bit more bearable every day. Having said that, I still can cry at the most bizarre places and times. Jasmin is doing just great, which is such a blessing! She still talks a lot about Savannah but not as much as she used to talk about her. She was talking to me the other day about Savannah - trying to remember stories.

Next month it will be 5 years since Savannah passed. 5 years since I last touched her. You can imagine how I load up on Jasmin then with hugs and kisses. ;)

Amy

Monday, December 8, 2008 8:38 PM CST

Well, I have been studying my head off for finals the next 2 weeks. (My neck needs some serious massaging - but who said law school would be easy.)

Though I spent 8 hours today studying full force, a moment didn't pass where I didn't think about where we were 8 years ago today. Sigh... Savannah's diagnosis. 8 years ago, really? In some ways it seems like yesterday and in others it seems like years. I suppose it seems so long ago in one way, because it has been over 4 years since we last touched our sweet baby.

Y'know...parents never stop grieving the loss of a child. NEVER. Even when we seem ok...it's there. Of course, many occasions bring it all to surface --- milestones in "if she were alive today she would be [riding a two-wheeler-- fill in blank]" or your surviving child's milestones: "I wish Savannah were here to see Jasmin [get her Bible-- fill in blank]" plus there are holidays, 1st days of school, birthdays, anniversaries (death, diagnosis, relapse, surgeries), dance recitals...you get the point.

The thing of it is you learn to live with it. You realize who you are today is a reflection of being that's child parent -- loving her, caring for her, laughing with her, touching her and battling with her. You know you have not only survived since she left you but that in finding a way to live with her death, you found a way to make life good despite all the pain. And isn't that what she did when she was alive?

I love you and miss you, Oobs. Every day. Every moment.

Mommy

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I miss you every second. I give Jasmin a hug for her - and then a hug for you. How sad I was last night coming home from school - hearing a song that Daddy & I equated with you. I walked in the house, and Jasmin sprung out from behind the fridge to welcome me with a HUGE hug. I felt like she gave me one from her and one from you. We hugged each other so tightly- it hurt!!! ;)

I love you.

Mommy

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 8:26 PM CDT

Dear Vanny,

I don't have to tell you how hard the past year has been on Daddy & me with all the illness in our families.

I'm sure you will be right at Grammy's and Nana's sides keeping watch over them as they both undergo major surgery in the next 6 days. As Daddy & I pray for their safety and swift recovery. Jasmin writes them notes of love and hope.

Love and hope ... yes, they make it all bearable, don't they????

Keep watching over us all, AngelFace.

Love, Mommy

Friday, September 19, 2008 8:48 AM CDT

Happy Birthday, Lance! Savannah is here with you today. I feel it! I had a dream last night, and she was in it ... as if she were alive! It was absolutely wonderful. We both miss her terribly for sure. How often do we wonder what would life be today with her here? She'd be in 6th grade! Unbelievable.

Since Savannah's diagnosis in 2000, neither of us has been the same. Yet, we have each other and Jazz. And every day I say thanks for you two. I want you to know that Savannah is smiling down upon you. She surely sees how you've kept Jasmin and me strong & safe. One day she will tell you herself all that she saw... and all that I already know. You are a gracious and loyal person. You are a giving and devoted father. Jasmin trusts in you and loves all that you do for her. And you give us both the confidence we need to go after our dreams.

We love you.
Amy, Van & Jazz

Wednesday, July 30, 2008 10:21 AM CDT

I miss you, Boo.

Love, Mommy

Friday, June 27, 2008 9:46 AM CDT

Happy Birthday, Sweet Angel Face. I have felt you near and have seen your signs ... from Megan's walk past Savannah Lane to your favorite song on the radio yesterday.

How much you are missed and loved. Sam, Jasmin, Nick & I are excited to spend this special day in a fun way - with Disney and McDonald's included. Just a couple of your favorites!

We miss you so very much, Van. So terribly much, but we know you are happy... and we see you walking in the sunshine peacefully with Bella taggin' behind.

Mommy and Daddy

Wednesday, June 4, 2008 9:23 AM CDT

Senate Passes Allard-Clinton
‘National Childhood Cancer Awareness Day’ Resolution
Washington, D.C. – September 13, 2008 will now be recognized as “National Childhood Cancer Awareness Day” as a result of a Senate resolution introduced by U.S. Senators Wayne Allard (R-Colo.) and Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY).
“Never before in history has the dream of eliminating childhood cancer been so attainable, yet seemed so elusive,” said Senator Allard. “We live in a nation where the effectiveness of treatments and technology offer hope to children who dream of a bright future. Each case of childhood cancer is a very personal tragedy that can strike any family with children, at anytime, anywhere. In setting aside September 13th to recognize this battle on cancer, we continue of our efforts to draw attention to the victims of childhood cancer and the great work of the families and organizations who continue the fight.”
"We have made tremendous strides in the fight against childhood cancer, but far too many children still suffer and lose their lives to this illness. The more we know as a nation the better able we will be to prevent and treat the disease and help those who are battling and surviving pediatric cancers. National Childhood Cancer Awareness Day is an opportunity to reach out to all Americans with the facts about childhood cancer, and this day will be an important symbol of our commitment on all days to find a cure," said Senator Clinton.
Childhood cancer is the number one disease killer and the second overall leading cause of death of children in the United States. More than 10,000 children under the age of 15 in the United States are diagnosed with cancer annually.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

My heart is so heavy and lonely for you. I am sick to my stomach just thinking about how much I miss you. Jasmin misses you so very much and asks lots of questions all the time about you. I knew the day would come when she wouldn't remember you so easily, and sadly it has arrived. She yearns for a sibling and her heart carries an empty hole in it, too. How I wish you two were together!

I'm sure you know how much we miss you. I just felt the need to write you today.

Much love,
Mommy

Thursday, March 27, 2008 12:34 AM CDT

I can't believe it has been 4 years since we last talked and hugged. I miss you so much! My heart aches so badly for you. I can't help but wonder every day what that day would have been like with you in it. We all miss you terribly.

I can't write much, because I will cry, cry, cry. Whatever I say isn't anything new. Just know how much you are missed and dearly, dearly loved.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Saturday, March 1, 2008 10:06 PM CST

MIss you every day, every hour, every minute. You and Jazz would be great together ... How she does my heart good - but still can't help but wonder you two together now at age 10 & 8.

Jasmin misses you and clearly lives knowing how fragile life is. She is very proud of you, Van.

Thanks for all of your signs lately. Got 'em, no problem!

Love, Mommy

Sunday, February 17, 2008 8:45 AM CST

Jasmin and I are growing out our hair to donate for Locks of Love. I've been asking Jasmin for about 4 years if she is interested in doing this, but not until a couple of weeks did she say yes. She asked if I'd do it with her. (My hair hasn't been to my shoulders or longer for almost 20 yrs!)

Megan said she'd join us, too.

We are doing this in memory and in honor of so many who have lost their battle, who are survivors, who are just beginning their battle or who are going through another battle.

I'd list you all - but sadly, they are so many. Too many - and inevitable I'd leave out someone, and I'd feel so terrible.

You know who are - Jasmin knows - I know - Megan knows, and we love you all.

Amy

Sunday, February 3, 2008 11:56 AM CST

The past two months have been grueling - emotionally-- on our families. Lance's aunt was diagnosed with cancer in December. We are very close to her, and I see her as a 2nd mom to Lance and his siblings. She is there for everything and such a huge support to us all. Then last month my mom was diagnosed with cancer.

I keep asking God to watch over us all and pray for their recovery. I've even asked him to send Savannah our way with a sign. I need some faith, hope and laughter.

They both are coping very well, and I'm very proud of them.

Please say an extra prayer today.

Amy

Friday, January 18, 2008 9:20 AM CST

Yesterday was Jasmin's 8th birthday. Of course, she partied like a rock star - and the festivities are far from over. We went out for breakfast, Gramps brought her lunch to school, and we went out for dinner and then everyone came back to our house for cake, ice cream and a little Wii.

Today Jasmin is having a 3 friends spend the night, and we are going to Justice for rock star makeovers. She is very excited about having a slumber party for her birthday this year. Since that's what she really wanted, we had to limit the invitees; but I think it will be a good time.

Overall, we are doing well. Life seems to be going so fast -- I can't believe Jasmin is 8, and in March it will have been 4 years since we last held Savannah. 4 years. You can tell we are doing better, because I don't update as much. Generally, when I update it is because I am not having a good day (tho' some days I don't even update, because I don't want y'all to get the idea that we aren't doing well overall. Truly, everyday is sad -- but Lance & I have learned to live with it - and we are trying to have a good life and find happiness, especially for our darling Jasmin.)

Today, I am having a rough day. I feel nauseous, sad and irritable, but that's always how I am the day after a celebration. Savannah is missed at every single one - and the next day I just feel rotten. Argh!

Hugs to all and an extra one to our friends the Aldriches, whose son Elliott came home recently from bone marrow transplant and other than the usual complications from BMT is doing well. What joy!

Amy

Sunday, December 9, 2007 10:35 AM CST

Hi Sweet Savannah,
How I ache for you. As you know, this grieving has not been any easier on me. I know I can survive it - gosh, I have so far and Jasmin keeps my heart light when it is getting too heavy. I know it is the holiday time, but really, I have been hurting so bad for so long. The holidays don't change it that much. I guess I've learned to live with it ... that's about the only difference in the past 3 and half years. You learn to live with the pain, because you have to, because it is always there.

I wanted to tell you thanks for sending me that AWESOME sign yesterday. It was just like that day I was crying and telling you how badly I needed a hug from you, and then in a minute, Jasmin, who was stingy with hugs/kisses at the time, left playing with her cousin to hunt me down to give me a hug. Yes, it was like that.

As we walked into the Hannah Montana concert, I thought again how you would have loved it. And then 5 minutes later, I had someone tap me on the shoulder -which I figured was someone from our entourage -- and I turned around, and it wasn't someone from our entourage. This woman asked "Are you Savannah's mom?" And I realized it was Amber's mom! We haven't seen your best friend from 3yr old preschool, Amber, since your funeral. And, then, I got it, Van! I did. Thank you so much.

So you definitely aren't missing out on anything. I'm just missing out on being with you during these earthly experiences. I get it --in the end, you, Jasmin, Daddy & I will have eternity to experience many wonderful and amazing things together. You are ok -- and I am good now w/your sign that you there with us, rockin' out!

You are dearly missed. That, though, won't change.

Love you so very much,
Mommy

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Dear Savannah,

We miss you so terribly much. Jasmin was crying for you last night, and I'm sure you know that. She didn't have much to say only she wanted you. How my heart breaks again.

While she was getting her nerves numbed to have a cavity filled yesterday, she started to cry, and I couldn't help but cry, because she never cries while getting her flu shots, etc. Then I looked down and saw how her hands were, and in her right hand I saw yours. She was crying but her hand was placed so soft and delicate, and I saw you in her.

I'm not sure if that was a gift or a sting to the heart.

You are always with us.

Love, Mommy

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween, Van!

We miss you so terribly much. It hurts still so terribly much. I keep having flashbacks of Halloweens with you, and I feel so sad. I wonder what you'd be this year ...

Jasmin's enthusiasm and love for the holiday (it's her favorite, y'know -- well maybe a tie or close 2nd to Christmas) has kept me going, though. Of course!!!! Today will certainly be a busy day for us with parties, trick-or-treating and pumpkin carving.

You are always with us, Savannah.

Love, Mom

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 9:26 AM CDT

Happy Birthday, Lance!

Jasmin and I are thinking about you today. She mentioned to me she forgot to wish you happy birthday when she was up early with you this morning.

I know Savannah is sending you a hug and smile, too. Today would be perfect if she were here, but I know she is with you somehow, someway.

You are an amazing dad and husband, and I hope you know how much we all love and appreciate you. I especially am thankful for your complete and loving support with school. I really couldn't do it without you.

Love,
Amy, Savannah & Jazz

Monday, September 10, 2007 5:45 PM CDT

Our friend, Elliott Aldrich, has just started treatment for leukemia relapse. He a high schooler from Sandwich, IL ... and made Savannah smile a lot when he was going through his first treatment, and she was in for relapse. His mom doted on Savannah, and we felt a connection with his wonderful family.

Elliott is to have a bone marrow transplant most likely around the holidays, and his mom's relatives has started a fundraising campaign called "Envelopes for Elliott." HIs mom gave me permission to post the letter on Savannah's site, and I ask you to give this family your support, as you have given ours.

The idea is so awesome! Show Elliott your support, too! Here it is...
*******************************************

Dear Family and Friends.
I am sending this to ask for you help.
My Cousin Cindy (Lobe) Aldrich has a very sick son. Her and her husband Dan received the news their only child 16 year old Elliott has leukemia.
Elliott has Acute Myelogenous Leukemia, Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia and Myelogenous Syndrome all big names for an Illness that is such that Elliotts only hope for survival is a bone marrow transplant.
With blood transfusions and medications medical bill are mounting. A match needs to be found and even after that happens as we all know the bills STILL come.
It is my HOPE that if everyone I touch puts a single dollar bill into an envelope and mails it to Elliott's Benefit Fund we can collectively help the Aldrich family take care of one (if not more) of these relentless expenses .
If you would-- PLEASE ask your family, friends and co-workers to help as well -- Let's see How many "Envelopes" we can get to Elliott.
Thanking you all from the bottom of my heart ;)
xoxoxo
Terrie

Elliott Aldrich Benefit Fund
c/o Castle Bank
100 W. Church St
Sandwich IL 60548
http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/inputSiteName.do?method=search&siteName=elliottaldrich

Wednesday, August 15, 2007 11:15 AM CDT

I miss you so much, Savannah. I miss you, miss you, miss you. I could say that a billion times, and I wouldn't feel satisfied.

I love you.

Mommy

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 12:51 AM CDT

Concerning Rachel's guestbook entry, I am in law school. (Thanks for asking, LeeAnn!) Because of Savannah's guts and courage and zest for life, I figured I should go for it.

Amy

Wednesday, July 18, 2007 5:40 PM CDT

We love you and miss you all the time. Thanks for the recent visit and support. You know I loved it.

Love,
Mom

Friday, June 29, 2007

Thanks to everyone who wore pink or purple on Wednesday! So many of you called or emailed to tell us you were wearing pink! I can't truly express how much that means to us. Just that small action of wearing pink could have such a ripple effect ... did someone tell how nice you looked on WEdnesday? Then you could say, well I'm wearing in honor of Savannah Olson! ;) And if no one knew wearing pink was a special tribute to our Sweet Van, that's ok, too. Because I know she saw us all wearing our pink & purple ... and she surely was smiling. That is what matters most to us!!!

For those who thought of us, who called us, who sent us cards, who emailed us or who said a prayer or good vibe, many thanks for always. Your support keeps our spirits lifted.

Much love,
AMy

Thursday, June 21, 2007 9:57 AM CDT

In less than one week, we will reach another marker ... Savannah's 10th birthday.

I haven't written in awhile, because the past few months have been so emotional for me. I can cry at just about any thought ... and Savannah's passing constantly is running through my head. (post-tramautic stress? I don't know. Could just be how life is for us who've lost a child ... always pain there.)

The end of the school year was so hard! I saw Jasmin finishing 1st grade, which we never saw with Savannah. And then Jasmin had her big dance showcase on Father's Day, and I was a mess. I can't imagine how Lance must've felt, as we watched Jasmin dance her heart out with smiles ear to ear for each of her dances. How proud we were and yet how much I ached to see Savannah on stage ... and to see her cheering on her baby sister! It's not fair. It's not fair.

Now Jasmin is on swim team, and though I know Savannah most likely wouldn't have joined ... one of her preschool mates is on Jasmin's team. How my heart broke to see Megan grown, while Savannah is still so little in mind (Savannah was very small for her age, anyway). Just not fair!

I've started to become more involved in the hospital again, after having taken off over a year, because being involved was too painful. I've been going once a month for Savannah's Lunchbox, and I love it. It feels right being back there for this. We feed the families courtesy of Aurelio's Pizza (Joe Aurelio is huge supporter of Hope and brings in enough pizza, pasta & salad to feed the patients and their families and often the staff, too!). But this is more than just grateful parents saying thanks to Hope, we also are ambassadors. I often meet new families who need to speak with someone who has been through their child having cancer. I wish our story had a happy ending, but I hope that because we do go on, that'll be something for them to hold onto. I recently met a family, and the girl is a year older than Jasmin. She told her mom how sad she was for Savannah that Savannah never got to be 7. The children are so remarkable! That girl's comment shows what a gift children are ... they are so compassionate and loving. I love getting to be a part of that.

I did help with a Hope golf outing on Monday, and I now know that is too much for me. I was also an emotional wreck. I don't think I am ready for fundraising or events. I think SAvnanah's Lunchbox is about all I can handle.

This morning I heard a radio advertisement celebrating Hope's 10th birthday. The ad was a young patient writing into Hope thanking them for helping her. Like Hope, she is turning 10 this year, too, and she knows what a big deal that is! Of course, I bawled my eyes out at the commercial, because our Savannah would be 10 on June 27th; however, I smiled at the young girl reaching 10. I truly truly truly always feel this way ... Savannah was robbed but how beautiful for all the children who've made it. I always wish that for families. How blessed they are!

I see in so many families who've had children fight for their lives that they know what a blessing life is. What a horrible lesson ... but I cherish how they continue to live their lives knowing what a gift it is.

Anyway, I've felt Savannah near me lately. The ad on the radio ... a song on the radio almost every day. And even some days I swear I feel a hand on my back or a tug at my skirt. It's comforting on one hand and frustrating on the other ... I turn around quickly to see if she is there ... but of course not.

I didn't write to Lance on Father's DAy ... but I hope he knows that I think he is amazing. I can see all too well how parents divorce over losing a child; you grieve differently. However, I just can't imagine not having Lance everyday to love on me and Jasmin. He takes such great care of both of us. I know how much he misses Savannah, but he keeps going strong so Jasmin and I are ok. He's been Jasmin's number one fan for softball and swim team this summer, and she couldn't have a better cheering squad with Lance as the biggest fan. (Trust me, my mom, my grandma and I can give her lots of hurrahs, too!) But he is there for every softball practice and game to assistant coach ... and he praises her often ... and gently instructs her when she needs it. He stands at the side of the pool during swim meets and claps her along. He tells her she is a true athlete. I know he misses witnessing Savannah being involved in activities ... but seeing him give so much in return to Jasmin does my heart wonders.

I would love to ask any of you to wear pink or purple on Savannah's birthday this June 27th.

As always, thanks for continuing to think of us...

Amy

Friday, April 13, 2007 9:33 AM CDT

It's Friday, April 13th! Jasmin was supposed to have one of her best buddies sleep over tonight, but Z is sick. We hope she is feeling better soon. Z's mom and family have been amazing support to us throughout Savannah's treatment and passing. Jazzy & Z (Mackenzie) met in preschool at our church, and though we live about 1 mile from each other, Jazz & Z attend different grade schools. Jasmin is excited knowing they will go to school together again when they reach middle school.

We made it through Savannah's angel anniversary ok. We actually were in Italy at the time! We spent the week of spring break and the week after in Europe. We had ordered flowers for the altar at our church in memory of Savannah for the Sunday services before her anniversary, and then while we were in Europe, we made offerings at two churches (one the famous Santa Maria del Fiori in Florence) and lit candles for her. It was hard to know what to do when we weren't home. OF course, we spent the day enjoying each other's company and family's company while in Italy. Just how Savannah would do and would expect us to do!

We spent the first week in Italy visiting my Uncle Tom and Aunt Alessandra and their family. The weather was nice, and Jasmin loved the gelato (we had to get one every day!) and the pasta and the foccaccia. American ice cream and foccaccia will never be the same for her. Foccaccia was founded in Genoa where my uncle lives, and it is delicious! Nothing like here. Jasmin had fun seeing Christopher Columbus's house (his parents were the gatekeepers to Genoa) and the Columbus statues throughout the Ligurian area.

The second week we spent in Belgium and stayed with my other uncle and his wife. We visited Namur, Brussels and Brugge. We traveled by car & train and subway! Belgium is beautiful and the people are gracious and kind. Jasmin loved the crepes. ;)

We did take a detour during our trip to Belgium and surprised Jasmin with a day at Disneyland Paris Resort. I don't have to tell you that was another way we honored Savannah. The next day we drove into Paris proper to see the Eiffel Tower.

Well, yesterday was our 10th wedding anniversary. We didn't do much ... dinner at Weber Grill. We figured our trip to Europe was truly our 10th wedding anniversary to each other!

I do have to say that (and Lance knows this) I was a bit weepy yesterday morning, as I reminisced our wedding 10 years ago. The day before our wedding Chicago experienced a blizzard and then the next day it warmed up with rain. The town was a slushy mess. Since then it has been sunny and 70 degrees for every anniversary except for this year! The weather completely mimicked our wedding. We had a lot of snow on Wednesday, and the yesterday, it rained and the town was slushy mess. I thought of how young we were, and what hope we had for starting a family. We have a wonderful life for sure, but I couldn't help but think about how much hope I had ... and how much I miss Savannah. Life is always going to be like that for me. I have so many blessings, but my heart will always have a sore spot for Savannah.

Amy

Tuesday, March 27, 2007 3:34 AM CDT

Hi Sweet Baby Girl,

Not a moment passes where we do not miss and ache for you. We keep going by seeing Jasmin smile and learn; by surrounding ourselves in the love of friends and family (how many wonderful & amazing people we have in our lives!); by knowing one day we will be together again always.

Of course, Savannah, you know my heart breaks. I feel so terrible about many things -- that you had to endure the cancer, that Jasmin lives with parents who have broken hearts. Of course, you know that we always felt Jasmin was our gift ... to make us laugh ... to keep us going, really. We still try to live each day through your way ... seeing life as so beautiful despite all the pain. Some days are almost normal! Some days strangle us with the emptiness of you not physically here to hug and to kiss and to watch grow old.

We will spend today in a special way. (Which you know!) We are giving Jasmin the choice of how to celebrate you especially today. We will later share her decision. I meant to call Nana to see if she could pick up an extra bunch of pink roses for your graveside. I did order the ones for the altar at church, but since we can't be in Springfield to visit your graveside, I'm sure Nana will do something wonderful.

We love you, Baby Boo.

Mommy

Wednesday, March 7, 2007 3:01 PM CST

Well, this is such a rough month for our family with the anniversary of Savannah's passing. We do have fond memories of our last weeks with her traveling through the Bahamas on the Disney cruise and shopping at midnight in Downtown Disney or sitting poolside giggling w/aunts, grandmas, Sam and Jazzy. What a true joy. We remember her last moments holding Nick & Lilly and loving on them. We remember her last visit to Springfield. WE watch videos of her getting Gramps to carry her "in his pocket" and dance along. I don't know who she couldn't get wrapped around her finger!

So, of course, it is at this time that I even ask Savannah more often for a visit! I still haven't had one, but like Tricia wrote in her guestbook entry (which I just read yesterday ... and thanks Tricia, you always find a way to brighten my day) ... Savannah found a way to get through to me. I feel her everyday, I love her every moment, I am her mom, and I am who I am because of her. She is always with me of course, but I love her signs. I live for them, really.

If you live in Downers Grove area, you may have just read an amazing article in the Reporter on a sophomore at Downers Grove North (my alma mater and where Savannah would've attended high school and Jazzy will attend -should we stay here). This young lady started an organization called Hats Off To You. She makes and delivers soft, fleece hats to children who have loss of hair due to illness. The article hit home, naturally. I immediately emailed the journalist thanking her for writing it and introducing us to the org. I asked her to either pass my phone # on to the family or forward them an email I composed which summarized Savannah and our connections w/pediatric cancer foundations and at Hope (I didn't know if they already had been working w/Hope). I hoped I could give her some tips which would prove useful as her organization grows.

Her mom wrote me back today! She also copied me on a email to Lisa, the director of Child LIfe at Hope, with whom Savannah was very close. They didn't have a connection w/Hope and decided to contact Lisa, who is amazing and I had suggested she would be great at helping them. Anyway, Hats Off To You wants to donate 150 hats to Hope in Savannah's memory! Isn't that wonderful? Of course, I emailed them back right away thanking them and saying how humbled we are, as my initial email to them was just to tell them that I think the organization is amazing and wanted to give them some insight to local ped. onc. organizations. What a joy! Bless Hats Off to You! Keep your eyes out for them ... they are going to continue to do great things!

Then as I was responding to the email from Hats Off to you, our (lance & me) song for Savannah came over the radio. Yes, I cried. Then I really thought I was going to lose it, because the next song was the one I chose to represent me for the Illinois Jaycees 2006 Top Ten Outstanding Young People award! I won the award for all of the work I've done w/children's cancer. (I still feel many of my colleagues and friends in children's cancer fight were much more worthy, but Lance still says I totally deserved it. He never says what he doesn't believe, so I'm trying to accept it.)

I always teased Savannah when she was alive that I needed to be constantly reminded on things. We talked a lot about, too, how she was so observant and how I missed a ton of stuff! Since she's died, I always remind her that I need big, obvious signs! Well, she came through loud & clear today.

And to Jasmin's first grade teacher: we can't sign off without sending hugs to you & your family. We know that Savannah is right there.

I LOVE YOU, SAVANNAH!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007 2:24 PM CST

Happy Valentine's Day to our Sweet Valentine.

We bought Jazzy a necklace with a prayer box that has a heart on it with a message enclosed saying what a joy life is in loving her and how she makes every day special. As I was picking it out, I found one perfect for you, too. It made me sad that I couldn't buy it and put it on your neck like I did for Jazz this morning. When I was checking out, the clerk asked me if the girls on my purse are my daughters. I said yes, and she responded like many do "Oh they are so cute."

And then she asked a question that I haven't been asked yet, "how old are they now?" I told her Jasmin is 7 and that you died 3 years ago. I don't know why I told her. I guess I was mad that I was buying for only one daughter when I have 2 li'l, darling Valentines, so I felt the need to share you aren't here.

I sure could go for a hug and kiss! I can't believe its been nearly 3 years.

Daddy sent me pretty roses and candy to work, though. I think he's only sent me flowers to work maybe 2 times before. Did you put a bug in his ear? You must have, because he signed the card from him, Jasmin & Van. YOU never called her Jazzy or Jazz only Jasmin. And you know that Van is our family's loving petname for you. I sure am glad I did get the surprise flowers & candy, because they made me feel awful special today, and I truly felt that all 3 of you gave them to me. That's a great and loving feeling, Van.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO,
Mommy

Wednesday, January 31, 2007 12:04 AM CST

I feel like I am waiting for an exciting and important phone call. That's about how I've felt since most of the time since Savannah's death. For the past 4 or 5 months, I've been asking VAn to come visit me in my dreams (or Jasmin's or Lance's), but she's been busy I guess!

Please pray for our friends, the Smiths' whose nephew was diagnosed with retinoblastoma (tumor of the eye). Their son celebrates his 6th year of surivorhood on 2/7/07 from leukemia. The family is amazing, but they could use your prayers none-the-less.

Please pray for my family, as my aunt was diagnosed with colon cancer last week.

Please pray for our friend as she recovers from cancer surgery.

I'm tired.

Amy<
>

Wednesday, January 17, 2007 9:06 AM CST

Happy Birthday, Jasmin! I am sending you lots of butterfly kisses and sunshine.

Love,
Savannah

December 28, 2006

Happy Holidays! We had a lot of fun and were very busy over Christmas. We missed Savannah running around with her cousins and opening up presents from Santa and looking beautiful for services; but, we managed to find peace & joy in the season, despite the heartache of her and Lance's brother not being with us.

I've uploaded a photo of Jazz taken on Dec 23. She'll be 7 on Jan 17! I can't believe it. She is 2 months older than Savannah was when she died. Amazing. Of course, she is a charming and gorgeous 6-year old, just like her big sis! Check it out on the photo page.

Happy Holidays and may you & yours be blessed in 2007.

Much love,
Amy

Thursday, November 9, 2006 2:43 PM CST

I think often about logging on to update Savannah's site, but really I don't know what to say. She's not here, so what's the point.

I suppose I can tell you that all three of us are doing better since we moved last April. Jasmin has made many new friends at her new school, which she loves. She misses her friends at her old school, but I know she is happier. She knew several kids in her grade at the new school from going to the same preschool, so for her, it was so cool to be with them again. Savannah's best friend, Tori, is at the school, too -- and Jasmin loves running into her.

Jasmin loves to watch a video that SAvannah made about 3 months before she died. She kept watching it this past weekend. Finally, I said to her, "Y'know, we have other home videos." Her interest piqued, she asked me if they were of Savannah, too. She ran to find one, and came back with the tape of SAvannah at age 2. We watched nearly the entire thing that night. If someone who didn't know us, saw the three of us watching it, they'd think we were nuts. I'm bawling and then often, the three of us would break into laughter. This is the first homevideo we've watched of Savannah other than the short homevideo she had made.

Believe it or not, I actually was pretty good at pulling out the video camera then! Of course, I worked part-time and had only Savannah. I've started taping again this past Spring, and I promised Jasmin I would tape her a lot now. We hardly have any tape of her. (Yes, I still have the videotape camera -- I need to move out of the stone age. Maybe I should read the directions on my digital camera!)

Jasmin loved watching SAvannah, and you could see by the way she watched with such intensity that she was bonding with Savannah again. I don't have to tell you that I felt as if someone was ripping out my heart again.

And on that note ...

Please say a prayer for one of my best friends from high school ... her daughter (who will be 5 in two weeks) is in ICU for arteriovenous malformation (AVM). This is a congential defect on the brain, which they just discovered --most go undiscovered until adulthood. The AVM bled on Monday, and she has been in ICU since and most likely will for a few weeks until they can do possible treatment.

That's all for now ...

Until then - THANKS FOR THE LOVE, SUPPORT and PRAYERS. You keep us going.

Amy

Thursday, August 10, 2006 8:28 AM CDT

I miss you, Lovey. We all do terribly.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 7:44 AM CDT

Happy Birthday, Angelface. 9 years! Sometimes I think that your likes would be so different from your last birthday on Earth. But even at 6, you were mature. We celebrated then with a Hawaiian theme, one that you had your eye on for a long time. Jasmin still loves to listen to the fun tropical/summer CD which the Burtons made for your kid party.

You are with me everyday and everywhere I go, Oobs. I think back so often to the days we were all together and how I miss them. Yesterday Jasmin was looking through picture albums, and she said, "Mom, Savannah was such a cuuuuuute baby!" That made my heart smile -which is one of Jasmin's great talents.

I'll try hard not to be sad today, Savannah. But right now, my heart aches for your hugs and kisses (Jasmin is not nearly as generous with those as you were! wink, wink). We are going have a low key today and then go out to one of your favorite restaurants for dinner.

You know we love and miss you so terribly much.

Happy Birthday, Lovie. Sing loud and proud in your pretty pink dress...but don't eat too much cake. ;)

Love,
Mommy, Daddy and Jasmin

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Well, we have moved into our new home and are settling in just fine. All of us love it, and Lance and I are anxious to have the boxes unpacked!

Jasmin hadn't seen the house until the day we moved, so we were excited that she really likes it. Our neighbors are so sweet, and many families came to introduce themselves to us on moving day. Jasmin is delighted that two sisters (the youngest being her grade) live a few houses down.

Saying good-bye to Sunnydale Drive was tough, but luckily we were so pressed for time that Lance & I couldn't pause long. As Lance said, Savannah goes where we go. The 4th bedroom in our home is in the finished basement, and it is painted nearly the same blue as Savannah's room on Sunnydale. Part of it is wallpapered with white clouds, and this reminds us so of Savannah. (Her room was blue, white & yellow with stars & moons.) We are making this her place, and because it is pretty big, we are also using it for Jasmin's playroom. Jasmin loves this, since --as many of you know-- she finds comfort in going through Savannah's things or being in Savannah's room.

So...here we are forging ahead. Thanks for your good vibes.

Love,
Amy

Dear Savannah,
Thank you for the pennies. I love you so very much ... my heart aches. Sending you butterfly kisses.
Mommy

Tuesday, March 28, 2006 7:47 AM CST

Thank you so much to everyone who sent words of encouragement (whether you called, signed the guestbook or said a prayer or good thought).

We went to Springfield for a long weekend and returned late last night. As always, we had a great visit. We spent Savannah's anniversary being bums all morning, and then we went out to lunch. Jasmin & I took a long nap that afternoon after lunch. Honestly, I never know how I am going to feel on these special days (holidays, birthdays or anniversaries), but I know it won't be easy. I was so tired yesterday and just didn't feel good. Today isn't much better ... but I'll be ok. I know that now.

Lance, Jasmin & I had a few moments at the cemetary, too. We bought Savannah's favorite pink roses, and Jasmin picked out a bouquet of pink & green daisies (because they were Spring-like, she says) and a Disney Princess balloon. The weather was cold and rainy, so our time there was short. But I never feel the need to stay around there very long. Savannah is with us ... not there.

Yesterday morning Jasmin asked me if I would lay on the bed with her while she watched a movie. She said I could read my book. I started to read Alison DuBois' "Don't Kiss Them Goodbye." Towards the end of the movie, Jasmin looked over to see that I was half-way through the book (really this was no major feat ... the book is a quick-read). Nevertheless, Jasmin was suprised. Well, we started talking about the book and the author. For those of you who don't know, Alison DuBois is the medium whose life is portrayed in the NBC show "medium." Anyway, I told Jasmin about Allison DuBois' work. Jasmin started leafing through the book to see if her phone number was in there so she could call her! Jasmin 's curiosity about Savannah and desire to have such a connection beyond their sibling bond is the fuel that keeps my heart warm.

I have never doubted that God sent Jasmin to us to keep our hearts light. Ever since she came into our lives, she has been quick to illicit smiles and laughter out of us. Yesterday, she did so many things over & over again to show her gentle and loving ways. As I've said, Jasmin is an observant child. She knew the day wasn't going to be a fun one, and she was so patient with us. (Yesterday, that was a bit of blessing.)

Through Jasmin, I feel so much of Savannah, and I'm so grateful for that. I sometimes wonder if that'll fade, but my gut tells me no.

Love,
Amy

Savannah, I miss and love you so. But, you know that. Keep shining your beautiful light around us. Love, Mommy

Tuesday, March 21, 2006 10:29 AM CST

I can't believe it's been three months since our last update.

As we approach the 2nd anniversary of Savannah's death, Lance and I find we are still so sad but are living more than just getting through. That said, I have crashed from all of the running I did for the first year and half after she died. I was never at home ... trying to fill every moment with activity so I wouldn't feel the emptiness of Savannah not there. REally, running doesn't do any good. The pain is always around. So, I'm tired now. I find myself wanting to be at home as much as possible, and I actually dread going to the mall (recall how SAvannah, Jasmin & I had lots of retail therapy sessions)!

Jasmin has been alright. She is missing Savannah a lot still. The past few weeks have been a bit rough for her, as daily she asks us questions about Savannah. She makes wishes for her sister to come back.

Again, despite the heartache -because gosh, it'll always be there ... we are living. Lance & I are emerging from the stage of just surviving. We've started to work with Jasmin and her fears of sleeping on her own, and we've started focusing on her strengths. She loves gymnastics, and spends her evenings showing us her tricks. She is learning math at home and is fond of reading to us daily. We've finally set up a chore chart for her, so she can earn some money --and she loves checking off her duties as she fulfills them. Let's hope it lasts for a bit! (You know, sometimes it's easier to just do it yourself, and they are kids for only so long!)

Recently, my good friend, Amy, gave me the most inspiring ficitional story and its sequel to read. Amy's timing couldn't have been more right on as I start to feel this change in our grieving. While we are exhausted, we want to enjoy life. Savannah taught us that ... and this is the message of the novels Amy lent me. The story is based on 9-11 and follows a family during that day and the months/years after. The family learns to rebuild and believe in love and life after they lost their father/husband.

So here we are ... trying to do the same. As I said, I have crashed a bit. But the wierd thing is, maybe I didn't really crash but am starting to emerge out of a fog. Lance seems to be doing the same, too. He laughs more and cracks jokes more (reminiscent of his old self). The true kickero is we have decided to move.

We currently are under contract, but it looks like we'll be moving next month to the next town over (Downers Grove). Jasmin & Savannah went to pre-school at our church there, so Jasmin has lots of friends already at the school she'll attend. We are excited! Of course, some moments are rough. But Savannah is always with us. She gave us so much, and she is always in our hearts.

So ... we are starting to feel like we are now writing our own sequel. We aren't closing a chapter, but merely taking from our first amazing story to build our second.

As always, thanks for checking in on us. We love your support and kind words.

The Olsons

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

As always, thanks to those of you who continue to think, pray and check in on how we are doing. What can I say that I haven't said before?

I am so done with this. I just want Savannah back, and it seems the days are getting harder rather than easier. Of course, as Lance says, "this time of year always sucks." (My response was that everything sucks. Pardon our language ... I'm sure many of you have heard us utter worse, though.)

Not only are the holidays tough ... that's a given, but this time of year brings back harsh memories and painful "what if" scenarios. On December 8, 2000, our world was dumped upside down as our sweet 3-year old (just a baby!) Savannah was diagnosed with Wilm's Tumor. I'll never forget the words, "Your daughter has kidney cancer." Five years ago ... what if Savannah never had cancer? I know I am being cruel and hard on myself to think that way, but I just can't help it.

To make things even worse, as if they could get worse ... Savannah's last relapse was on December 12, 2003. We were told we had one last chance to save her, but the odds were against us. Lance & I knew we had only memories left to create with our loving child. But I still can't help but wonder "what if they were able to perform surgery and remove the cancerous lung ... would she be here still today?" Sadly, I think no. I never really felt from the start that Savannah would be with me all my days. I constantly felt as if someone was going to take her out of my arms.

I often feel Savannah was robbed, and I become so angry. I am sad for Jasmin to not have her sister around. She misses her so much, but she tries hard to do her best. Jasmin is still quick to watch Lance & I for sadness, and I hate breaking her heart so. However, I am proud of Savannah & Jasmin for the impact they had on each other's lives. Savannah truly lives on in Jasmin, who mimics Savannah's expressions, who tenderly cares for her sister's possessions and who values her family & friends as Savannah did.

What else can I say that you probably don't know? Honestly, we hurt so much. I am so done with it. Every day is a struggle. I know I'll never be the same, but gosh, am I tired. Lance & I just want Savannah home.

I thank God for bringing Savannah to us, and I pray for Jasmin's safety. Jasmin has been our gift of light and hope, and I sure let her know what a treasure she is (even if she can be awfully stubborn!).

We wish you peace this holiday season, and a healthy New Year.

Amy

Tuesday, September 27, 2005 7:02 AM CDT

Hi Vanny,

I miss you so very much. Every day is filled with new things, and we ache for you to be here to share them with us. We are learning to live with our pain and carry on, but life will never be the same without you here. I think all the time ... SAvannah would be in 3rd grade! With what activities would Savannah be involved? What picture would Savannah have drawn me today? What new toy collection would Savannah be into? (Jasmin has been loving on all the American Girl & Bitty Baby stuff you both have collected since you were 3.) If Savannah were just here, Jasmin wouldn't be so lonely! Even when you were feeling lousy, you still would find time for Jasmin. She talks about you all the time, Savannah.

I was crying for you the other day in front of Jasmin. This is something I try not to do anymore, because it bothers her so much. (Mom, please don't cry, she says.) And I don't want to burden her with anymore pain she already carries. Well, the other day, I couldn't help it. I hurt for you so much. Jasmin asked me if I was alright, and I told her I wanted a hug and kiss so badly from you.

True, many things are a mess. I am so messed at up at dealing with the regular headaches that daily, NORMAL life throws you. I'll get there, though. I know it all takes time. If you were just here, how different life would be. It still can be good, because we have so many wonderful people in our lives. It just will never be the same, and always have sadness.

I love you so much, my sweet Angelface.

Mommy

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Thought I would post an update today, but for some reason, it is just too hard.

We have been busy with family in town ... which has been so wonderful. I can't even begin to tell you how much fun we all have had!

I will update more later.

Jasmin is loving kindergarten, by the way!!!!

Amy

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Hi. If you've spoken to me recently, you know that it isn't been an easy summer. I thought I was the only one of the three of us doing real bad at this time (ebbs & tides), until Savannah sent me on a crazy path yesterday to help myself, which ended up helping Jasmin.

After being referred to person after person, I finally called the Wellness House (a cancer support center). I've known about the Wellness House for over 4 years but never called or made it over there. When they answered the phone, they asked if I was calling about Kids Camp (they apparently thought I sounded like I was 16). I said "no" but asked about it anyway. It's for kids who are affected by cancer (parent, sibling, self), and they have lunch & do fun activities on Mon & Wed afternoon during July. We talked about Jasmin coming (you can go whenever), but I said she couldn't go that day, because we had plans to meet friends at the pool for swimming. We swim every day, and it is Jasmin's all time fave activity. She even has been bumped up to the next age level in swim lessons.

When Jasmin woke up, she heard me on the phone telling my friend about it and kept asking me when she was going. I told her not until Wednesday, but she wanted to skip the pool (what? Jasmin skip the pool!) and go to Kids Camp. She had a GREAT time. They don't talk about cancer but just have a normal, good time.

Jasmin must be having a rough time if she picked this over swimming. Plus she quit napping, and yesterday she went into Savannah's room, climbed in her bed, pulled a blanket up, cuddled up to some stuffed animals, and went to sleep. If you know Jasmin, you know she never goes to bed on her own! I guess a "Savannah cuddle" was what she needed. Me, too.

Amy

Wednesday, July 6, 2005 3:29 PM CDT

A special birthday wish to Brad. Lance -- surely Savannah had the party planned awhile ago. Neither of 'em would miss a party. I know the past few weeks have been rough ... just know I love you, and I'm always grateful we have one another. I'm here for you always.

To All:
Yesterday Jasmin caught her biggest fish yet, while fishing with Gramps at a pond a few blocks away. See the proud fishergirl holding her prize ... in Savannah's photo album. (Sorry, Savannah we love pics of you, but you know Jasmin likes to be in the limelight, too. And a special message to Savannah: Everytime Jasmin goes fishing, I think of the time we went with Jasmin & Gramps to the pond by our house, and you kept throwing your rod in the water whenever a fish would bite! Still makes me smile, girl!)

Thanks to everyone who keeps thinking about us. We love the notes you leave in the guestbook. They really make a difference.

Love, Amy

Monday, June 27, 2005 9:35 AM CDT

Happy Birthday, Sweet Savannah!

Of course, I think about you all the time...and today is no different. Since we woke up this morning (we slept in!), I have run the past June 27ths over & over in my head. Jasmin thinks you'd have a Disney Princess party today...cuz you love Cinderella. I told her that was the theme for your 3rd birthday party! I assumed you'd go Tinkerbell -- tho' an 8-year old would probably be "too old" for that. You were so into Tink before you died, so I had to decorate the cemetary in Tink.

On June 27, 1997 -- your arrival was quite a surprise! (4 weeks early, girl!) You always did things on your terms. I remember rocking you in the hospital room and singing "You Are My Sunshine" ... and just loving you all over. Daddy & I wanted the whole world to know you...we were so proud.

On June 27, 1998 -- you had the biggest 1st year birthday party Central IL has seen. We celebrated at Nana, Papa's and Bossy's. It was awesome ... and you were adorable. This party marked the beginning of your grandeur for partying (organizing, planning & celebrating!). Everyone knows how much you loved a good party.

On June 27, 1999 -- A big, two-year old! We went to Kentucky for the weekend. We swam and boated. I remember you sitting on the floor of the cabin coloring with your aunts. Even at two, you were directing them on what to do!

On June 27, 2000 -- Life had changed so much in a year. We moved into our house just months before, and you were now a big sister! You named your sister, Jasmin after the Princess from "Aladdin" and just loved on her. Of course, you always called her Jasmin ... never by her nickname, Jazzy. By your 3rd birthday, Jasmin was six-months old, and you had just helped her learn to crawl. As I said, you wanted a Cinderella birthday party. Always the princess, Savannah.

On June 27, 2001 -- How many parties did we have for your fourth birthday? Earlier in the month you had completed treatment for Wilms. We were so proud of your hard work and determination! YOu never complained during treatment. I remember on the way to one of your parties, you asked Nana to make sure someone had bought you some instruments for your birthday (those plastic ones at the drugstore. Such a random request from you). And if you were to ask someone, Nana was the one to ask! Of course, she delivered ... and you were delighted!

On June 27, 2002 -- Again ... who says only one party is the way to celebrate? We went to Club Libby Lu with your friends and had a sleepover. You had tons of gorgeous, curly hair for Libby Lu to style! We had the best summer. And you were looking forward to kindergarten.

On June 27, 2003 -- Lots of parties for your 6th birthday. What a rough year you had gone through with treatment for relapse of Wilms. When you were diagnosed with relapse in Sept '02, we didn't even know if you would live until your 6th birthday. But you held true to your promise to Dr. Salvi -- telling him you would beat the cancer for a 2nd time! You finished treatment in April '03 but relapsed just two weeks before your 6th birthday. What tough pill ... Van. But remember being discharged the morning of your 6th birthday? Remember waking up that morning to TWO birthday cakes, your hospital suite & door being decorated, and to lots of presents from the staff???? You walked out of Hope with so much HOPE in your eyes. We partied all weekend long! Lately Jasmin & I have been listening to the Hawaiian CD from your party. She loves "Itsy-Bitsy, Teeny-Weeny Yellow-Polka Dot Bikini" and recently asked why you liked it so much. I told her that the Burtons made it for your kid party. She thought you had requested that song for your CD. You could just see her mind working ... like "how did Savannah know this song?"

On June 27, 2004 -- The first birthday you celebrated in Heaven. We had a tree planting ceremony in the park by Nana, Papa and Bossy's. Then we partied in your honor! But it's never the same without you.

Today, June 27, 2005 -- We are taking the day to relax, Savannah. (It was very hard to buy decorations for the cemetary. I think the store employees thought I was nuts ... and you'd have been mortified! I couldn't stop crying!) I'd so much rather have you here. But I know you are in a better place. How I picture you running and laughing and loving on all the children with you! I see you holding hands with a younger one and guiding them and protecting them just as you loved to do with Jasmin.

Happy Birthday, Oobs. Happy Birthday, Lovie Dovie Baby Bear. Happy Birthday, Angel Face. Happy Birthday, Savannah-Banana.

Happy Birthday, Van.

We love you. Mommy, Daddy & Jasmin

Thursday, June 23, 2005 2:59 PM CDT

This month has been tough. I'm realizing that I can't remember much from the last year...specifically last summer. Things that I should remember, I don't. In addition to that, this month has just been hard. We've been doing so many cancer-awareness fundraisers this month alone that more & more pain surfaces. Each day still is a struggle.

And then...we visit other CaringBridge sites and read how other children are battling Wilm's Tumor and relapsing...and losing their fight. Please say a prayer for Haley's family, as she became an angel on Tuesday. www.caringbridge.org/ne/haleygirl.

So many children are out there fighting, and I hate to think of other families going through what our family has the past 5 years...especially the little, sweet children who fight with all they have to live.

Savannah would turn 8 this Monday. She made it to enjoy AND celebrate like crazy her 6th, and I can't believe how her short life made such a difference in mine. What a baby she was...and yet I feel like she was with us for so much longer than she was. For her birthday this year, Lance, Jasmin & I are going to spend the day together - quietly. This is so unlike the previous birthday celebrations! But, we feel this is what we need this year.

Amy

Tuesday, May 31, 2005 12:27 AM CDT

Lance, Jasmin & I went to Springfield for Memorial Day Weekend. We were so busy! We packed up a lot of stuff from his parents' house for the garage sale we are having down there on June 10 & 11. All proceeds are to benefit the Springfield Relay for Life end of June. (Our team name is Savannah's Squad.)

Lance & I were talking on the way home about how much we miss Savannah. He said it hurt a lot watching the grandchildren play together so much over the weekend. He often imagined how much she would have enjoyed it. She never wanted to come home from Springfield...she just loved her family so much. Jasmin is the same way, too.

Savannah would turn 8 this June 27th. Luckily for us the month is so busy with fundraisers and two Relay for Lifes, that we will pretty much honor her memory the whole month...and keep VERY busy while doing it.

Amy

Sunday, May 15, 2005 1:32 PM CDT

I am going to use Savannah's journal to write about the foundation we started. I've told you about it before...it is called Savannah's Second Wish, Inc., and we have formed it truly in Savannah's legacy.

We have two goals. The first is to offer scholarships to eligible, graduating seniors at three IL institutions. The first is my alma mater, Downers Grove North H.S. in Downers Grove, IL (where Savannah would have gone). One of the requisites candidates must meet is they should have been accepted and plan to attend a two-year or four-year insitution of higher learning. The candidate must plan to major in field of health-related study in honor of Savannah's wish to be a nurse when she grew up and in honor of the constant care & compassion her caregivers/medical staff at Hope provided her.

The second insitution is Sacred Heart-Griffin high school in Springfield, IL-- Lance's alma mater. Candidates at SHG must plan to attend 2yr - 4yr institution of higher learning and major in art-related field. This major was selected in honor of Savannah's love for the arts and her gift of drawing. She was such a visual child!

The last insitution is Advocate Hope Children's hospital department of hematology - oncology. CAndidates must plan on attending 2yr or 4yr college but aren't required to major in anything specific.

We've received several amazing applications for the Class of 2005, and it is very hard to choose recipients!

The second goal of Savannah's Second Wish, Inc. is to provide get-aways to children at HOpe whose cancer relapses. Savannah's first wish was to NOT have cancer and her second...to go to Disney World. We were blessed that she was able to do her Make-a-wish trip and to have been able to fund several trips down there as a family later on to cope with her relapses (and to celebrate one successful completion of relapse treatment). Savannah believed every child who relapsed should be given a second wish, too. We are proud that though we are starting off by not necessarily granting wishes, we can fulfill a fun, getaway "mini-wish" trip for a family with a child battling recurrence.

We have two fundraisers planned yet for the rest of 2005, though we intend to add on at least one more. I sent out SAVE THE DATE flyers to many local friends and supporters, and if you received one...please note you'll receive a follow-up postcard with a CHANGE OF DATE for the Woodridge Jaycees "Under Savannah's Big Top" circus. The date is SATURDAY, JUNE 4th. (I put SUnday, June 5. Don't ask...)

For those of you interested in learning more about the foundation or upcoming events, please visit our web site at www.savannahs2ndwish.org. Many thanks to my friend Karen Kosky and friend & colleague, Jason Failla, for designing AND maintaining the web site.

Hugs, Amy

Thursday, May 5, 2005

Oh, thank you all SOOOO very much for your guestbook entries! I have been reading them over & over. Lance & I can't believe how many of you still check in on us, and if only we could, once again, express how much your kind thoughts help us.

Jasmin told me this morning that she misses Savannah. She rarely says it, so it just broke my heart in two. We just want her here...home...with us. I don't know how we've made it so far without her.

Last night Jasmin had kindergarten round-up...and it was so emotional for me. The girls' school is so nurturing and loving, and I just am so grateful for all they did for Savannah. And at the same time, I am so heartbroken that Savannah couldn't have experienced more of Meadowview. She loved learning! Jasmin was absolutely adorable at the end of the evening, though. The principal asked the parents if they had any questions, and Jasmin raised her hand (nearly to the roof of the gymnasium) to say she is very excited about Kindergarten. I only hope her enthusiasm for learning grows.

Happy Mother's Day to all Moms and enjoy the day with your families.

Love, Amy

Saturday, April 23, 2005 9:53 AM CDT

Today is the last session for Jasmin's grieving support group. Her facilitator told me yesterday what a joy Jasmin has been in session. She participates a ton and is so enthusiastic. She said Jasmin has been really working hard on her grieving process, she listens well to the other children and is empathetic in their grieving. Among the many wonderful plans Tommy's Kids has in the sessions, is The Story. The children tell their story one-on-one and then it is created into a book. The children have the opportunity to color pictures to match the words on each page. Jasmin's facilitator said Jasmin's story is very powerful and extremely important to her. I guess unlike most children, Jasmin works on her story every session.

We have noticed such a remarkable, positive change in Jasmin since she started this program last month. I am so proud of her! I told her the other day how proud I am of her and how she has been doing, and her face just lit up with the hugest smile I've seen in a long time.

I think Jasmin is going to have a great summer but really miss Tommy's Kids and school. She asked me to sign her up for lots of fun things...swim lessons, tennis lessons the 1st half, Safety Town (my idea!) and day camp the last half. She wants to do swim team, but I told her she may have to wait until next summer, unless she can swim the entire length of the pool this summer. She is an athlete through & through (just ask Lance & I how much we've done already this spring...tennis all the time, bike riding...).

Me? I'm alright. My friends told me the 2nd year is tougher than the 1st, but you could never prepare yourself for it.

Thanks for checking in and feel free to write a message in Savannah's guestbook. Even if you don't know what to say. Kinda gives us an idea on how many people still read and should we continue on with the journal.

Loaded some pictures of SAvannah in photo album.


Love, Amy

Tuesday, April 5, 2005 9:36 PM CDT

I miss you so much, Van. Jasmin does, too. She talks about you everyday and shares so much about you! Jasmin likes to tell us things we didn't know about...or that we didn't remember. Please watch over her. I tell her all the time that you do! But she needs your tenderness now more than ever. Jasmin hurts and is lonely for you.

I can't believe it has been over a year since we last hugged or talked or kissed. I never knew I could miss someone so terribly much. I know you are in a better place...your pain is over...but ours has only begun.

I love you - Mommy

Tuesday, March 22, 2005 8:44 PM CST

See Savannah's photo album for pictures from Florida. Remember how I said in my previous journal entry that I felt Savannah's presence? Well...I'm forever telling SAvannah to send me big signs. I say, Savannah, you know how blind I am and that I need OBVIOUS signs. (How many times have I said that she was my eyes and my "reminderer").

Well, among the many signs she sent while we were in Florida, the first picture in the album was the best one! We were sad to be leaving Florida that day...happened to get caught in bad traffic (wait...traffic? in Orlando??? no way!)...when this caught our eye. One of Savannah's "signs"!!!!!!!!!!!

Amy

P.S. Amy said I could write a few words on the anniversary of Savannah's passing and I am hoping this exercise will help with the grieving process. I certainly don't have Amy or Lance's ability with words, but little has been said about Savannah before she was diagnosed with cancer and I want to tell a few stories. Amy went to work part time in January of 1998 and I was lucky enough to keep Savannah with me. When she was about a year old, I would go to pick her up and bring her back to my house. Well, she was so funny because already she was a backseat driver...because I did not turn down the same street as her mom did! Later, when she was 2 we started to notice all she saw when she was riding. Already she recognized Eagle, Jewel, Dominicks and Cub food stores in addition to Wal-mart, Target and K-mart. Shortly after Amy and Lance bought their house (Savannah was 2 1/2 at the time), she was pointing out all the pretty homes on the way to and from our house. She was an incredibly visual child. And, very inventive also. I had saved all the dolls from Amy's childhood and 3 of them had an incredible wardrobe. She had such an imagination with them, taking them to school, the park but most of all to violin lessons. Savannah was a shopping person extrodinaire! When she was 14 or 15 months old, Amy and I took her to the mall. Amy was looking in the children's section for some fall clothes for Savannah. Savannah got out of her stroller 3 times, picked up a PINK fleece sweatshirt and kept giving it to her mom (who would promptly hang it back) Well after 3 times we got the hint and bought it. Many times I would say to Savannah "You look sooooooo pretty, like a princess....Where did you get your outfit" She would laugh and say "You got it for me grammy!" I don't think (at least I hope I don't) I will ever stop hearing her laugh and the sound of her voice when she said that to me.

Savannah was a party planner expert. Most parents plan their children's parties.....Amy assisted Savannah in planning hers. They were always a lot of fun and well thought out. She always was consulted when other parties were planned also. Savannah was also one of the most kind, considerate and helpful people, I have ever known. I know that is how Jasmin picked up and is the same now. Whenever I see Jasmin pick up a baby doll and cuddle it I can see Savannah doing the same thing.

Well, I know this is long, but it has helped me a lot. I will never be able to tell you all what you do for us when you sign Savannah's guestbook. Thank you so much....many times your comments make my day.

Savannah's grammy

Sunday, March 20, 2005 2:57 PM CST

Vacation was awesome! The kids were so great and had a blast swimming in the pool all week, despite the unseasonable cool weather. Except for Sunday at Universal, the parks were packed...but again, we had so much fun...and Jasmin loved having brothers for the week.

One of the Wenz's sons got sick down there, so that was a bummer for him, but other than that vacation went by too quickly. None of us were ready to come home!

Of course, a few things set off tears for Lance & me. I missed Savannah a lot, but a few times I felt her there with us.

We'll post some pictures as soon as Lance loads them.

Thanks for your nice thoughts...Amy

Friday, March 4, 2005 7:02 PM CST

The past few weeks have been pretty rough around here. Jasmin is re-learning to sleep in her own bed. After many nights of no sleep, the Olson household has quieted down, and Jasmin has grown to become quite fond of her own bed. Phew. And then, of course, Lance & I were hurting on Wednesday, as recalled so vividly that day exactly a year ago. Dr. Hayani advised us to take our vacation ASAP and that'd we'd only have a month left with Savannah. Lance re-visited the website journal entries from that time, and I suffered a panic attack while at work (thanks to Brooke for helping me!). Savannah was so great that day...happy to know we could go to DisneyWorld and on a cruise. We went home and logged on to see what date we could ship out! She was so mad at Lance for saying we had to wait until Mar 14 instead of Mar 6. Within 10 days she declined rapidly.

Of course, our home has good news. Lance could probably tell you better than I, but I'd say at least twice a week since Savannah died, Jasmin has asked us when are returning to Florida for Disney World or cruise. We tell her it'd be at least another 4 or 5 years. Honestly, I didn't know I had it in me to return so soon, but we are going this month! We are going with our friends, the Wenz Family, whose son is a patient at Hope with Savannah. He and his twin are Jasmin's age, and they are her boys. We are really looking forward to this vacation...it'll be a different twist on our usual Florida jaunts. We're staying in a 5bedroom house and will visit not only Disney but beach & Universal. Jasmin is looking forward to having brothers for the week, and I'm tickled that I finally figured out that Disney is JAsmin's favorite place in the world. I know it is most kids! But for Jasmin it is filled with memories of having her sister, mom & dad to herself without distractions. And of course, that was always the whole point of going in the first place.

Jasmin has been terribly lonely (you know this, too...if you've talked to me lately)...and I'm hoping this trip will ease her pain a bit. We are starting her in a different grieving support group for kids after vacation, and I'm hoping it'll make a difference, too. Yet, I know when it comes down to it, just like Lance & me, she'll never be the same and always ache for the companionship of Savannah.

So...I guess we take the bad and mix in lots of good. We have so many wonderful friends and family on our side...and this year is such a blur as it is...I can't imagine what it'd have been like without you.

The bowling event went great, and I'm so pleased. Again, we are so thankful for all those of you who came out and supported us this past year!

Love, Amy

Wednesday, February 9, 2005 7:43 PM CST

So it never really does end...

Jasmin took ANOTHER visit to the ER on Sunday night. She took a bad "header" while playing with her cousin (just being a kid!). Yikes! She is becoming an ol' pro at this patient-thing herself...

Jasmin split her upper lip and knocked her teeth around pretty good. After attempting to "push" one of her upper teeth back into place, ER doc sent Jasmin home on antibiotics and advice to visit dentist on Monday.

Dentist visit went alright...as best as could be expected, considering she had 3 of her upper teeth pulled. Luckily, Jasmin's fondness for her dentist is still "intact."

This weekend we have the first annual Strikes N Spares for Second Wishes bowl-a-thon for the foundation. Visit the foundation site for more information...we'd love to see you come out!

www.savannahs2ndwish.org

Our love, Amy

Thursday, January 27, 2005 6:11 PM CST

10 months. 10 months have passed since we held you, Savannah...since we kissed...since we joked...since we cuddled you. We love and miss you so very, very much. Our lives are moving forward but with such an emptiness only you could fill! In order to be the best mom for Jasmin, I remind myself everyday, Savannah, of how courageously you lived. The strength you showed is what helps me now, still!!!


Our dear friend & neighbor, Donna, wrote this in a Thanksgiving Day newsletter, and I loved it so much, I wanted to share it with you...(with Donna's ok, of course!). Today seemed like the right day to share it:

...Im soooo THANKFUL for ... knowing Savannah .....
She lost her life to 'cancer' at the young age of only 6 1/2 ...
BUT she taught me so much ...
She taught me how to LOVE more ... how to FORGIVE more
How NOT to judge people cuz you haven't walked in their shoes
AND ... she made me realize just how FRAGILE and SPECIAL life really is
God Bless you my little HERO
Rest in peace sweetie...

Thursday, January 13, 2005 6:51 PM CST

Jasmin has asthma. We had a great visit at Hope today, and Jasmin really likes her new doctor. Dr. Bert was working with Dr. Akhter today, which was even better! Jasmin baked cookies for Dr. Akhter's & Dr. Hayani's offices. We had a nice time seeing Savannah's nurses & doctors.

Savannah's Second Wish, INc. is holding a bowl-a-thon in February to raise funds for the foundation. Visit our web site (it has a new look!) at www.savannahs2ndwish.org for more information. OR read the blurb in the local paper on the event (www.chicagosuburbannews.com). Click on the "bowl-a-thon for pediatric cancer" on the right side of the home page. The article's title refers to research, which isn't true, but I am not complaining because the rest of the article is GREAT and accurate!

Love, Amy

Tuesday, January 4, 2005

Christmas and New Year's were tough. Not as bad as I thought...but still hard. We miss her so much.

Jasmin is going through a tough time right now without Savannah. She actually is admitting to feelings that Lance & I have witnessed in her since Savannah's died. She finally came to me and told me that she plays in Savannah's room because it makes her think of Savannah. Lance & I always know when Jasmin is hurting, because she heads straight to Savannah's room and spends some time in there alone playing. She takes good care of Savannah's things and still separates her things from Savannah's. In fact, she wanted another American Doll this year to be like Savannah. (Savannah has four and she had two...now she has three.) She specifically stated that those dolls were Savannah's and not hers...she does this all the time.

After 9 months, we finally were able to watch a video of Savannah. Jasmin found a home video Savannah had made last year at Christmas and wanted to watch it. I told Jasmin I didn't think I was ready, so she asked Lance. I was in another room when they put the video in, but I could hear Savannah's voice coming through LOUD and CLEAR! My heart tugged...so I joined them on the couch as they cuddled watching Savannah "make her own TV show." We cried and laughed...having never seen this TV show Savannah had made in her room. Jasmin watched it over & over again that night and takes it with her wherever she goes now...wanting everyone to see it. I lost count as to how many times she's watched it. 50 maybe? more?

Of course, Jasmin told us she watches it because she misses Savannah.

Maybe this week she'll do better because school has resumed. I wonder how Jasmin will be in a couple of weeks. Her birthday is on the 17th, and I wonder if the holidays didn't make missing Savannah harder on Jasmin ...like it does for adults.

In the meantime, we'll see how her asthma diagnosis goes. She asked me today if we could bake cookies to take to the doctors and nurses at HOpe when we go for her appointment. She is anxious to visit everyone. Ahhhh...she is such a cutie.

All for now...Amy

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Isn't life strange.

After returning to the doctor's office AGAIN yesterday due to chronic cough (she didn't sleep Tuesday night at all), Jasmin is being referred to a pulmonary specialist for possible allergies & asthma. Not as serious of an illness as Savannah's cancer but certainly another chronic illness...and is still a stinger. Ask any bereaved parent whose child died from medical condition how easy it is to have another child diagnosed with a medical condition. It is traumatic just going in for the flu!!!! ;)

Jasmin's specialist is out of Hope, too. (He has offices in the town next to ours and at Hope.) Lance & I decided that we'll make her first appointment at Hope. Funny how things work out...Jasmin was just asking me yesterday if we could go visit everyone at Hope next week and could we go eat in the "Kids Cafe" (name of Hope's cafeteria). Lance & I believe she'll feel more comfortable at Hope with its familiar surroundings rather than be scared that there is something seriously wrong with her (like Savannah) and that's why she is going to Hope. I think, like Savannah, she believes in Hope and knows it is a safe place.

We shall see how it goes!

In the meantime...still aching for Savannah...still crying...but still knowing she loves us so much and is watching over Jasmin.

Happy Holidays.
the OLsons

Monday, December 20, 2004

Thanks for continuing to send your emails of kind thoughts and for signing Savannah's guestbook. We love to read them. Any stories you have of Savannah please share with us. We'd love to read them on Christmas Day.

Well, the past few days have been far from fun. Jasmin started with a high fever on Wednesday night. We finally took her to the doctor on Friday, and they sent us to the hospital for chest x-ray. Jasmin had one in October, so this wasn't the first chest x-ray since Savannah died. (It still is very weird to write & say that.) They read her results immediately, which showed viral pneumonia, viral bronchitis or asthma. She started a Z-pak, too, and by Sat. afternoon seemed like her old self. (But by this time, Lance was sick with high fevers!)

Sunday came & Jasmin was worse than previous days (high fevers were back). We called her doctor who told us to take her to the ER! Now Jasmin's hospital is different from Savannah's...which can be a good thing because you don't feel like you are going through what you did with Van. Yet on the other hand, it can be bad...because at Hope, we love how they know us!

Hospital decided to draw a CBC, pump her with fluids, do a nose swab & repeat chest x-ray. Jasmin is amazing. I never thought she'd be the same kind of patient as SAvannah. Savannah was rather compliant, but I always thought Jasmin would fight...but no! She always asks how Savannah did "it" (IT being the procedure currently under task). She showed a lot of courage like Savannah and tries so hard to do "it" the way her sister did. If she knew that Savannah had the same procedure, she was significantly less scared (really she was rather brave). Of course, all this makes it easier on mommy, daddy & family. Needless to say, we had our first realization that, yes...Jasmin will get sick, too. I just had hoped it'd be a long time before I heard another I-Med beep. Or see another blood draw...which actually fascinated Jasmin, considering she'd seen Savannah have her blood drawn how many times?

Really when you think about it...us families who've battled chronic illness have a lot more going on than just that disease. Jasmin even asked if she'd go home with the IV in her arm. How many times did she see Savannah come home with her port accessed, so we could run IV meds at home???

Of course, I thank Savannah for, once again, showing Jasmin "something". (She loved teaching her to crawl, to walk, to hold a baby doll...and the few weeks before she died...how to write her name.) I see Savannah's gifts live on in Jasmin.

Alright...so this was supposed to be a quick update! Yikes. I swear I need an editor for my journal entries.

So Jasmin was diagnosed with type A influenza and should be better by Christmas. Phew. Lance is still feeling crummy. Me? This is the most I've done today...fever now myself. And we are thankful this is all it is.

Last, but far from least, a huge thanks to Jason.

Our love, The Olsons

Thursday, December 9, 2004

This is the week Savannah was first diagnosed...4 years ago. She was just 3 years old. Jasmin & I were looking through pictures from that time, and I can't believe what a baby she was! It was so easy to treat her way beyond her years. And then Jasmin wasn't even a year old.

4 years later, Savannah is gone, and Jasmin is alone at Christmas without her sister whom she adores so much. In many of the pictures of those two, Jasmin is looking on at Savannah with such pride. Just like a little one should feel about their older sibling. I'm very proud of the bond they enjoyed.

We are muddling through. Jasmin has the Christmas spirit, which has helped Lance & I more than I could express. I keep reminding myself that she is here, and we try to dote on her as much as we can. I also remind myself daily that Savannah would not tolerate our sadness or having no desire to celebrate. Each day I try to live how she did. Certainly, I cry a lot...but I keep remembering how much she loved life.

Jasmin asked that St. Nick come visit Savannah when he visited her earlier this week. She promised to take care of Savannah things. I suppose it is a bit lonely for her, and this is her way of showing us she hurts. I'm thankful for her memories. She often tells us stories about Savannah that we didn't remember or know about.

We've done a few things already in memory of Savannah for the holiday. Jasmin picked out (on her doing) an angel ornament for the cemetary, and she helped Lance's mom & me pick out a wreath for Savannah & Brad's gravesides. She really put thought into the decorations on the wreaths to fit Savannah & Brad.

We've also made a donation to Candlelighters for her gold ribbon ornament on the tree in Washington DC for children with cancer. Closer to Christmas, we'll make a donation to the scholarship in her name at the girls' preschool and to the hospital.

I long for Savannah's kiss and hug and smile. I can see her smile so clearly, and I treasure it so! I am truly grateful for the support many of you still offer. Your notes and phone calls mean so much...especially since each day brings its challenges in trying to live with the death of our sweet Savannah.

Many wishes for a happy new year...

Our love, The Olsons

Thursday, November 4, 2004 7:29 AM CST

Dearest Amy,

I wanted to take a moment this morning and wish you a happy birthday today. I know you may think that is not a possibility today. It seems we have not many happy days since March 27, more like days. Just days. Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries are just so much harder. I know every day without Savannah is like a nightmare that just will never go away. I know that it hasn’t gotten any easier to take, and to be honest I’m not sure that it ever will, but I hope that you are able to feel Savannah with you today, especially today on your birthday. You know how much she loved these days, planning parties, buying presents, decorating, hosting a party, getting dressed up, setting the table, lighting the candles, singing and dancing. I know that she will be celebrating today.


Thank you for being the greatest mother and wife that I could ever have asked for. Savannah, Jasmin, and I are all lucky to have you in our lives. I know there was only one thing we ever wanted for family and ourselves since December 00, but it was not to be. I just want you to know today how much you mean to me, and although we never got what we wanted for all those birthdays, just know that we did the best we could with the hand we were dealt at the time. I love you so much, and just hope that your day is o.k. I know it will be hard but o.k. is about as much as we can hope for today.

Love,

Lance

Thursday, October 14, 2004 10:18 AM CDT

I didn't realize I never updated on the golf outing. We had so much help with it...I couldn't begin to list all the people who were there for us! It was amazing. Tricia & I had three main goals to hit in our first event...and we are very proud that we hit all three.

I don't really know much about what to say. This week has been a bad week for me. I've been struggling with my grief. My friends who are bereaved parents have agreed with me that this is how it is going to be forever...some days are good and some are tough.

Jasmin is doing better. She isn't having such a rough time with separation from Lance or me. I truly believe that school has played a huge part in this. Jasmin will start choir for church on Saturday, and she is a bit nervous but excited because some of her friends from preschool will be there, too.

Jasmin's other latest & greatest is she wants to know when she will be on TV and how do you get to do this. Needless to say, I'm trying to see if we can't get her signed with a talent agency. I keep telling her it may not happen, and even it she does, it doesn't mean she'll be on TV. She seems to understand the process. I figure, whatever she shows interest in...we'll do what we can to give her a shot at it.

Thanks for checking in...Amy

Friday, September 17, 2004 8:52 AM CDT

The grieving journey is so painful. I hurt so much! It's funny there is no timeframe to this...I know I'll never be the same. I miss Savannah so much. You do things like...remember when Savannah did this? Wouldn't Savannah love this? Savannah would tell you such & such! Savannah would be mortified! Savannah loved you so much. Past tense stinks.

In my mind, I can still feel how it was to touch and hold her. I can imagine the shape of her toes (Rubbed her feet a lot!), the softness of her cheek (like a baby's bum!), and the bony protrusion of her elbows (we loved seeing her eat!). I am thankful I can recall this as if I am there touching her right then.

Last weekend was Lance's sister's wedding. Lance, Jasmin & I were all in the wedding party. Of course, Savannah was to be in it, too. During the ceremony, Rachel (his sister) and Kevin lit candles in memory of Brad (their brother) and Savannah. Definitely a hard moment...but the whole day was fun, and we truly had a great time on this great occasion despite Savannah not being there.

We are still working on the foundation. Our computer was fried a few weeks ago...so we are behind in schedule. (Luckily, our computer consultant was able to salvage most of our docs...including digital pictures over the last couple of years!)

The foundation's first event is on Sept 27 in Springfield, IL. We are having a golf outing. If you don't golf...please still send me an email. We'd love to have you come to the BBQ lunch and enjoy our video & raffle/auction.

Otherwise...please visit the web site my childhood friend, Karen Kosky, designed and maintains for the foundation.
wwww.savannahs2ndwish.org

Thanks to all of you who still think of us. We couldn't have been blessed more with such wonderful friends and supporters!!!!

Love, Amy

Monday, August 23, 2004 8:38 AM CDT

We spent the weekend in Springfield and had such a nice time. Some days are easier than others but Sundays generally are tough altogether.

We went out to breakfast yesterday and then visited Savannah's graveside. We have to start working on the headstone, and Lance has been coming up with ideas. He is very fond of the headstone the Wilson's have for Tyler. I guess that sounds pretty twisted "to be fond of a headstone"...so just chalk that up to "for lack of a more suitable word." The headstone will be for several plots...Savannah's, Lance's two brothers, myself & Lance, and while we haven't talked in depth over it...Lance has expressed interest in it being mostly about Savannah. (Hope he isn't upset with me talking about this on her site...) Anyway, Jasmin & I will be going down during the week shortly so Lance's mom (Nana) and I can meet with the cemetary to get all the guidelines.

The geranium we took out to her site to place with all the many other tributes is still going! I wish I could go back in the next day or two to see it, because I cleaned it up, and we gave it lots of water...and new buds had been forming.

Savannah sent a messenger to us before we were leaving for breakfast...we are certain. This butterfly followed us as we clipped fresh flowers from the back & front. It landed on me at least four times, and I told Jazzy it kissed my nose! The butterfly landed on Nana, Aunt Krissy and Jazzy a few times, too.

I needed a sign...
Thanks for all your well wishes and for still thinking of us.

Love, Amy

Tuesday, August 10, 2004 9:33 AM CDT

I went to Las Vegas over the weekend for Lance's sister's bachelorette party. We had a great time! But grief is always with you...it hit me a few times over the weekend, but I thought I was going to have to be sent to the hospital while we were waiting for our plane to depart on the return home. This was on of the worst "grieving attacks" I've had.

I can't say if my stage of grieving has changed. Maybe I'm really starting to get what just happened to us. Maybe I'm realizing that she isn't coming back. I don't know. Not having Savannah with me every day and every second of that day is very confusing. I have a friend who packed up her son's room pretty soon after he passed from cancer. She had said it was because she kept waiting for him to return. I didn't get it then...but by gosh I understand it now.

Jasmin has changed so much since Savannah died. Sometimes I feel so bad for her losing her sister. Jasmin adored her.

Jasmin has grown a ton! Savannah was one of the smallest in her class, and Jasmin is one of the tallest. I was always the tallest and had such a complex, so I try not to point it out. However, Jasmin has just jumped another shoe size since Savannah died. She is now 1/2 size smaller than Savannah...and she can wear many of Savannah's shoes! I suppose Jasmin is more normal in her growing...I'm sure some of Van's was stunted by all the radiation and chemo.

Ugh, it hurts.

Amy

Sunday, July 25, 2004 10:30 AM CDT

Basically my way of coping has been to go, go, go all day long. I realize this will catch up with me at some point, but I can't stop.

We miss Savannah so much. But I am sure I don't have to tell you that. I feel like I am still waiting to see her. Tuesday will be 4 months. Lately I've been feeling like...what the heck has just happened to our lives? Did we really just go through our sweet 3 year old being diagnosed with cancer only to relapse at age 5 and die at age 6? Did this really happen? I can't really explain it properly...

We went to KY a few weekends ago to do some boating and visit with family. We went with my parents and Lance' sister, Krissy came with us. She rounded out our family a bit. (Our family feels so incomplete...just the 3 of us.)

We did have a great time! We've been trying to do things that Jasmin loves that SAvannah wouldn't have any interest in doing (I know she wouldn't have liked the ski boat or the lake water!)...because then we don't have the same amount of guilt or pain. Another thing that is hard to explain.

While in KY, Jasmin made two wishes in a fountain. One is her usual..."To be the Little Mermaid." But this time she also wished "Savannah would come back." (She likes to share her wishes with us.) Lance & I both said us too. It's not going to happen. We know that. It just feels like she will. All part of grief process I suppose.

Jasmin and I are still working on the dollhouse. We have done some fun stuff which reminds us of Savannah and the children at Hope. Dunkin' Donuts are a big thing in clinic, so we have a box of those on the kitchen counter. Most of Savannah's favorites stock the kitchen (she was very brand=specific, that one!). Also, we will have a copy of her favorite book "Kathy's Hats" on the girl's nightstand. We had about 30 dolls to choose from in the catalog, and we chose "Hope" named after the hospital.

But the most important thing we are doing right now is incorporating a foundation in SAvannah's name. It is called "Savannah's Second Wish, Inc". Savannah's kindergarten teacher (Katrina) was the one who proposed we do the foundation and got us going. Savannah's first-grade teacher, Katrina's sister, and Aunt Tricia and Aunt Rachel are on the board with me. Aunt Tricia named the organizaiton, which we all love. We are going to send Advocate Hope children's hospital patients who relapse on getaways. They will select a vacation from a list...and we will fund and arrange it! Savannah's Second Wish is so appropriate, because:

1) Savannah's first wish was to not have cancer. Her second was ALWAYS to go to Disney!
2) Whenever something happened with SAvannah's treatment, we ran off to Disney. Our family granted Savannah's wishes, after her first Make-a-Wish.
3) Savannah thought kids who relapse should be granted additional wishes.

We are also going to have 3 scholarships for graduating seniors. One will be for Hope, and one for my high school alma mater and one for Lance's. Eligibility includes the grad is going to study at 2yr or 4yr college and fields of study are based on Savannah. My high school is nursing...because Savannah wanted to be a nurse and in honor of her medical staff who treated her always with compassion, respect and made her feel like a special young lady. Lance's high school is art...I don't have to tell you why on that one! (fashionista...illustrator...crafter...etc.!)

We are very excited about our first event in Springfield, IL. It is going to be "Swinging for Savannah: Savannah's Second Wish 1st Annual Golf Charity " held on September 27th. OUr invitations are going out this week and for those who aren't receiving an invitation (not because we don't want you to come...but because many of you can't travel so far...and we don't want you to feel like you must) will receive a brochure about the foundation. We hope to start accepting applications for wish trips commencing October 1, 2005. This allows us at least one year to raise funds.

Please wish us well as try our best to live out SAvannah's legacy of love, hope and giving to all Hope's children who are nothing less than amazing.

Love, Amy

Tuesday, July 6, 2004 9:34 AM CDT

The following is an excerpt from an article in the Naperville Sun :

"The goals of the American Cancer Society are to reduce the cancer death rate by 50 percent by the year 2015 and to improve the quality of life of those suffering from cancer."

Dr. Bill Hartsel, director of Oncology for Advocate Good Samaritan Hospital, spoke these words at the Wood Grove Relay for Life all-night fund-raiser June 18 and 19 at the Downers Grove North High School track.

This was one of 45 Relays for Life that took place in Illinois that weekend. Nationwide, 3,800 relays will take place this year.

About 105 teams of at least 10 members each pitched tents and joined in a 12-hour marathon that raised about $251,000 to help find a cure for cancer. Cancer survivors opened the event with a survivors' lap as the song "Hero" filled the air. Caregivers, families and friends joined the survivors during the second lap, while Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath My Wings" provided an emotional lift.

For many of the participants, their presence was in memory of a loved one who had succumbed to cancer. One group of 30 honored the passing of young Savannah Elizabeth Olson with a themed memorial tent named "Savannah's Secret Garden." Savannah, 6, died on March 27, after a three-year battle with kidney cancer that eventually attacked her lungs.

Her longtime baby sitter, Megan Gray, a junior at Illinois State University, organized this flower-filled tribute to Savannah, which included four generations of family and friends. Amid the colorful flowers surrounding the memorial tent was a sign that read, "You're one step closer to heaven in a garden."

"Savannah loved flowers," said Savannah's great-grandmother, Lois Wiley from Rock Island. "She helped her mom plant a garden every spring. This spring, it was a lot harder for her mom to plant the garden alone. That's how the theme 'Savannah's Secret Garden' developed for this tribute."

"She was a real fighter," Gray said. "No matter how sick she was, she kept going and lifted all of our spirits."

Sunday, June 27, 2004 2:54 PM CDT

The poem I wrote and read at Savannah's tree dedication ceremony today:

Dear Savannah: A Wish on Your 7th

I sat down to recall your past birthdays,
And how we celebrated them all.
In the kingdoms of childhood cancer,
Birthdays really are rare,
So princesses & princes celebrate with grand flair.
With cakes, treats, ice-cream and presents galore,
Each birthday tops the year before.

As we honor how you’d be 7...
Without you here, with you in heaven…
I wonder about our plans for celebration.
Can we do justice to your courage and passion?

With no toys or dolls to bring
As gifts, we come here instead
With poems to read, a song to sing,
A tree to dedicate and a plaque to give
To remember the amazing life you lived.

And I’ll even add in a birthday wish list of my own…
One that doesn’t bloom or is written on stone.
One that just comes from months of missing you.
One that includes many of your loves and dreams, too.

(Yes, I suppose we’ll do alright, Savannah,
Tho’ hurting still so much since you took flight.)

What I wish for -- it’s easy, you see --
Is for you to be giggling as Uncle Brad
Bounces you away on his knee.
I wish for no such phrases as “a chance to get
Some normal kid fun,”
Because everyday is filled with races
To see how fast you can run.

I wish you plenty of opportunities to play
On the field kicking a soccer ball,
To attend Girl Scout camps or
Dance in a ballet recital.

I wish you a pink, 2-wheeler bike, a smooth
Pavement on which to ride
And many, many friends peddling at your side.
I wish after you bike, you & your friends
Swim laps and dive off the boards all day
And have lots of parks (whether red, blue or yellow)
At which to swing, slide & play.

I wish you cuddles with Teddi
During your times at rest,
And funnel cakes, Tilt-a-whirls and
roller coasters like at the fest.
I even wish you photos with
Minnie, Mickey, Pooh and pals, too.
With Tink and Cinderella thrown in the view.

I wish you long, lush curls
In your hue of choice which bounce
As you do dance, skip and twirl.
I wish you jars full of lightening bugs,
And that Mrs. Timble gives you
Especially needed Grandmother hugs.

I wish you to hold childhood cancer clubs
Where no one hurts or cries,
But is only concerned about
Tickets for an outing to see the Cubs.

I could go on listing all I wish for you, Savannah,
And I’m sure I’ll think later on
Of all which I forgot.
Heck, I think I could wish for you the world
And that still wouldn’t be a lot.
Just know I could never have been more
Proud of all you had done.
In my eyes, Savannah, you definitely won.

But wait, I will close with
This one, last wish today --
And simply put -- until we meet again
May joy & comfort be surround you every day.

Happy Birthday, Oobs...Love, Mommy

Monday, June 21, 2004 7:01 PM CDT

This weekend was pretty darn tough. Friday night was Relay for Life, and at the opening ceremonies one of the village trustees spoke about Savannah and how she led the last two survivor laps. Jana & Kara took Jasmin and her friend, Alex, with them to lead the survivor lap. Alex is a patient at Hope and a leukemia survivor. It was awesome to see all of them up there...of course it hurt that Savannah wasn't with them, as usual. But I was so proud of all of them and that pretty much kept the smile on my face.

Our campsite was awesome and our teams did such a great job. Our team was named one of the top 3 sites for our awesome decorations. Thanks to our team Captain, Meg, for all her work and to Jana for keeping team #2 in shape. You two are amazing young ladies. And I love you both.

Saturday & Sunday was Jasmin's dance recital. It is quite the show, with ages 4 - 18. Jasmin was in her element on stage, and we laughed at how she would push her way through fello dancers to wave to the audience during the curtsy. Too cute! The show was dedicated to Savannah's memory, and it was a bit tough without Savannah there...but everything is tough without Savannah.

Our love, The Olsons

Thursday, June 10, 2004 11:08 AM CDT

We are preparing for a busy summer around here. On June 27th (Savannah's birthday), we will be dedicating the tree in the park in Lance's hometown. The plaque is done, and it is beautiful. I'll have to take a picture of it and post it.

Thanks for all you who sent in a story about Savannah. I love hearing them! And to those of you who still frequent her site, thanks. I know that many times once the child has passed, people stop visiting the sites (and that's ok. I understand completely!), but we are grateful for you to keep visiting us.

Jasmin is missing Savannah a lot. We've been keeping busy with plans all day long until we collapse in bed at night. Jasmin's been playing a few songs over & over which remind her of Savannah. She is happy and content, but I know she is missing her big sister. She also hurts because Savannah wouldn't let Jazzy hug her towards the last few weeks.

Jasmin is sleeping alright...I'm not.
Thanks to all of our friends who keep calling us to do stuff to keep us from drowning in the heartache.

Love, Amy

Thursday, June 3, 2004 3:12 PM CDT

I updated Savannah's journal earlier today, so if you read that I was adding in pictures from last year's Relay for Life and checked it out, you'd know the pics loaded up in a huge format. You'll see I've resized them now! If you didn't see my update from earlier today, go ahead & read it. it is actually short!

Also...Jana is another Hope oncology patient. She babysat Savannah & Jazzy a few times, and she also sang two lovely songs at Savannah's funeral. Jana is in remission and off-treatment!

Kara is my hairdresser and currently undergoing radiation for relapse from breast cancer. We are rooting her on & planning a benefit for her this summer! You know, we love the benefits! They are such fun, uplifting parties!

Amy

Thursday, June 3, 2004 9:42 AM CDT

Just wanted to pop in to say hi to everyone. We are busy preparing for Relay for Life this year. Savannah & Jana always led the survivor lap and held the survivor banner for the past 2 years, and so it will be hard not seeing her do this. Savannah wanted to stay the entire night this year, too.

I am going to start putting up new pictures on Savannah's home page of her over the past couple of years. Check out her photo album for past Relay for Life pics.

Love, Amy

Sunday, May 30, 2004 5:10 PM CDT

I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday weekend with friends & family.

Lance, Jasmin & I are in Springfield for the weekend. Every 4th of July since 1994 or 1995 (we never confimed which after much discussion), Lance's best friend has held annual parties and puts on a really great & fun fireworks display. This year, Stu decided to change it to Memorial Day weekend to avoid the usual humidity & BUGS July brings.

We took Jasmin (age 4) and our nephew, Sam (age 3), with us last night to the party. And as we expected, Jasmin had fun with the sparklers & the other kids but stayed inside during the fireworks. Sam, unexpectedly, enjoyed the fireworks. I went back & forth between watching the fireworkds and staying inside with Jasmin (Lance's sister, Krissy, and her friend, Kate, were playing inside with Jasmin, too). At one point, when I was outside, Lance, his other best friend, Alan, and I were chatting and reminiscing a bit (sp?) while watching the show. Alan's mom, Connie, heard us and would pipe in every now & again.

Anyway, Connie remembered that we didn't make it last year, because Savannah was in treatment (again), but she reminded us of the year before. I was so glad that she told us what she remembered, because I can't remember what happened yesterday let alone 2 years ago. She told us that we all had been outside eating & playing, and the kids kept asking when the fireworks would start. We kept saying "soon" when all of the sudden the first boom of the display sounded! She said Jasmin jumped off the picnic table and headed for the house as fast as she could. Connie said then her granddaughter & Savannah (who both wanted to watch the fireworks) ran after Jasmin to console her. Alan's mom said they sat by her on the couch telling her it was ok.

I don't remember any of it, but I just loved hearing it.

Anyone who remembers a story about Savannah, please, I invite you to share with us in her guestbook, tell us when you see us or send us an email. We LOVE hearing them.

Thank you, also, for all those of you who called or wrote to express how much you enjoyed my last journal entry. I had a really hard time deciding whether to post or not (a great personal risk, I felt). I wish I could tell you how much it means to me, but I can't find the words.

Our love,
Amy & Lance

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

The following update is really long. I wrote it the night after the Ribbon-cutting Ceremony for the new pediatric cancer center at Hope. I have debated with myself all week whether I should post it or not, but I have decided to go ahead and do it for many reasons. 1)for Savannah, obviously. 2) I wrote it in the middle of the night, when I find if I have to write...that's when it'll happen (you know, the ol' can't sleep thing). 3) well, in the last week many of you have expressed how much you enjoy reading Savannah's web site and many have encouraged us to publish the journal. I've decided that if many of you think that, then our writing can't be all that bad! Love, Amy

*********************************************************************

May 19, 2004

Last night was the Ribbon Cutting Ceremony for the new Keyser Family Pediatric Center. I knew it was going to be hard attending, but I had to be there. I could not miss it. Mostly, because I knew attending was something I had to do for Savannah. That's pretty much the only reason I attended...for her. We watched the center being built from day one. In fact, she was in-patient the day of the Ground-breaking Ceremony in October 2002.

Lance couldn't go. He initially responded he would, but when it came time to go, he wasn't ready to be back at Hope without Van. He hasn't explicitly expressed that was the reason, but I know it. So Megan said she'd go with me, and I'm thankful she did.

Of course, to say the event was emotional is a grand understatement.

Once the speeches began, I pulled out the reserve of Kleenex I am wont to carry with me. Dr. Sulayman reminded us of how much the patients value Dr. Hayani & Dr. Salvi; how when the doctors walk in the room, the children light up. I nodded in agreement, as I wiped the tears away. Savannah loved them. She played her tricks on them; hiding under covers when the entered her in-patient room during rounds, pretending she was a black-belt in karate to keep them at bay, bringing in treats to share but saying impishly they couldn't have any. And, then, of course, she almost always greeted them with a smile (only a fever would keep that smile down). Savannah would even give them one of those rare hugs she stashed away. Yes, she adored her doctors.

A time or two during the speeches, I called upon every ounce of strength I had to keep me from falling to floor screaming out in agony and crying an amount of tears I have building inside. The first time this happened, my friend (a fellow Cancer Mom), stepped over to my side, asked if I was ok. I think she gave me a little rub, or someone behind me maybe? All I know is an angel certainly sent her to my side, because I relaxed as quickly as I had surged.

The second time I felt the same energy rise, the speeches had ended, and we were about to begin the tour of the new center. Again, my emotions were pounding on the door to be let out, while I fought back so hard to keep my faculties in check and my body still. I wanted to burst out through the lobby doors to the valet circle, which Savannah & I had crossed a gazillon times, and scream her name at the top of my lungs. (It's not that I am trying to repress my grief, it's just that I do have some decorum! Ha ha.) Yet, once again, my angel had sent a friend, and Savannah's favorite resident tapped me on my back and gave me a comforting squeeze. And then the lined formed behind him...others came to give me a supportive and reassuring hug.

I knew then, I had done what Savannah wanted and needed me to do for her.

I enjoyed the rest of the evening. I told a few people how Savannah would have loved to see her tile on the wall. I had designed it the Wednesday before she died (the morning she died was the morning of the tile painting). We were in the day room a/k/a the chemo room for Savannah?s transfusions, and she was resting comfortably. I remember trying to figure how the heck to sum up a child?s life in one small tile. Though she was still with us when I drew up the plans for it, I knew it would be her memorial on the tile wall.

As I watched Savannah rest for awhile that afternoon, what to include in her tile became so clear to me, and I actually was frustrated with myself for not coming up with the details immediately. What else is there which could symbolize her life better than Mickey ears, a princess crown, a butterfly, a flower and childhood cancer ribbons surrounding her name? I guess maybe a Math book, too? Ha ha.

After I was completed my first draft, I showed Nurse Jenny to get her opinion. She knew Savannah better than most at Hope, as Savannah and Jenny had a bond. I felt she would let me know truthfully if it represented Savannah. Jenny loved it, and because she knew Savannah was too ill for us to paint the tile on Saturday morning, Jenny immediately offered to paint Savannah's tile. She & her husband, Matt, went down that Saturday morning to paint their own tile and Savannah's. On their way home, they tried calling us to tell us how it went, but Savannah was failing, and we didn?t answer the phone. The next day, I opened my email to see a picture of it. I am going to try to load a picture of it on Savannah's site. It is awesome.

Aside from seeing Savannah's tile in place on the reception wall and becoming close to needing to be institutionalized myself last night, I was able to sit and talk with another nurse we were close to and very fortunate to have as our own Olson advocate. To sort of sum up our conversation, Kelly told me that she always knew Savannah was here to teach us rather than us care for her and would finish her work one day and be gone. I was so relieved to hear her say that, because (and this is something with which my mom struggles), I know that.

Some of this I've already said, but because of how much Savannah has transformed me, I have to repeat it. When I was carrying Savannah, I knew she was special. Ok, every child is special...especially if it is your child. I know that, too. Bear with me. The feeling I had when I carried Savannah was there even before I knew I was pregnant. Looking back, it is easy to recognize, of course. I'm not sure when I exactly started to realize that what I was feeling was not the normal first-time mom "I'm going to have the best baby ever!" but rather "this child is different from the rest." I think it was probably when I was around six months pregnant with her.

I cannot explain this feeling. I knew Savannah was going to have an enormous impact on society. Though a loose translation at best, the words I'd use to give the slightest indication of how I felt would be I could compare this baby to the President of the United States.

Whoa! I am sure you think I am crazy. Ok, I thought I was, too. Yet, I had this gnawing feeling that this baby's life was going to be instrumental. I knew the baby wasn't going to be the President of the United States, but I kept going back to this comparison. I knew I'd never be able to comprehend this baby's effort and result.

And then when Savannah was shy of two years, we were cuddling in bed, and as I was running my fingers through her hair, I remember feeling an urgency to tell her that I knew she was sent to take care of me. I told her she was my guardian angel.

I am sure some of this seems coincidental in hind-sight. But I always felt without hesitation that Savannah had many gifts.

As soon as Dr. Salvi told us on December 8, 2000, Savannah's ultrasound that morning showed a mass he thought was kidney cancer, I sank. I was crushed for my sweet preschooler, and I didn't hear another word he said. And that feeling about her? About her life having an impact beyond my comprehension? Well, I felt that question...that feeling....really that VOID...slowly start to fill up, but not all the way, yet.

In the years to follow, I came to rely on Savannah in many ways. She was so visual, and I deferred to her for opinions on clothes, colors, and even home décor! She had the knack. She had "the touch," if you will. I didn't have to school Savannah in rights and wrongs, and I often felt that she took care of me more than I did of her. Savannah seemed so worldly and sophisticated. I couldn't believe how much she knew and observed and understood about life. Savannah continued to show and teach me about patience, diligence, acceptance and compassion. I have said it before, but I saw her resiliency and her zest for life, and whole-heartedly I believed her view was the only place in which to live.

And for seven years, I let this delightful being guide me. And because I believed in Savannah's gifts, I fought so hard to keep them alive. Each time she recurred, I bounced back from the shock quicker than the time before, and I fought with a maddening and bitter resolve. My only thought was "She was so many gifts to share!" And I couldn't imagine the world without her gifts.
But at last in December 2003, when her right lung filled with at least five tumors, and the outlook became grim, I felt a renewed -- no -- a new hope. My first reaction wasn't to cry out to family and friends the cruelty of it all (as true as it was and always will be) and how the world is being robbed of her gifts, but I felt like I had finally "gotten" it. I knew she had defined her legacy. She was going to leave her gifts behind, and whoever got it by now, great...and whoever didn't, will. (I hope.)

I would be awful selfish in saying or seeming to say Savannah was waiting for me to "get it" in order for her work to be finished to leave. I just think it happened that way. For thirty-one years, I battled with myself, thinking and believing I didn't know who I was. I always remarked on how much Savannah amazed me, because even at such a young age, she always knew who she was, and she never fought it or denied it, as many people do, but she was so confident about it and ran with it.

Really, though, Savannah showed me that I knew who I was all along. I do have favorites! And I'm not just Average-Amy.
So for that, I am indebted to Savannah forever. (I should emphasize here that I don't believe for one second Savannah's sole purpose was for me to understand who I am. I am just saying that this was one of the great gifts she gave me.)

And then, of course, I am ever-grateful to Savannah for teaching me that life really does go on. Despite all the pain and heartache, good does happen. Good does exist. We cancer moms have a saying "Welcome to the club with the best people you never wanted to meet." We've learned from our kids that the human spirit is an amazing thing. We lean on one another, and we value all we have and have learned from our kids. We can achieve even with limitations, we can soar even with a bruised wing, and we should love without fear and abandon. Often I tell those I care about how I feel, because not only do I know how precious their lives are, but I want them to know how much they mean to me.

Savannah was the teacher and the giver, and I was the one who needed to learn and to receive. People continue to tell me what an amazing mom I am. But I don't see it or understand it that way. I see it and understand it and feel it Kelly's way. Savannah was sent here to teach. I had the easy part...just being her mom, allowing her to be and loving her unconditionally.

I suppose one might argue that I am grasping at anything to make sense of Savannah dying. Perhaps I haven't even passed the shock phase of her death. I can see that. Well, who knows what I'll be feeling hours, days or weeks from now. I am sure I'll feel bitter and angry at some point, but I know I'll always believe Savannah's mission was to guide and her legacy was to show life really has no limitations and to enjoy it and each other.

All three of us ache for Savannah so badly. Jasmin asks every day to listen to music or read books which remind her of Savannah. I just want to smell her breath, rub her cheek and give her a hug. I know that life will never, ever be the same. But I also know, from a brave, little teacher, that it can be good. And with that, I bid you good night and bow my head graciously to Savannah and Jasmin, for bringing and sharing their precious gifts.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004 6:54 PM CDT

Hi. Well, I still can't believe we are "here". I swear, this sounds so creepy and awful and cold and lonely...but when we received the scan results in December, and saw our friends die from Wilms', for months after, I felt like Lance, Jazzy, Savannah & I had just been moved to a new line. We were standing in this long line holding hands, having just come off another long line of cancer families. This new line branched off in two directions -- one direction was one end to cancer & the other...remission. And I kept seeing our friends veer left, and I wanted them to veer right!!! And I knew we were going to veer left. But we couldn't get out of the line...and yet, we knew they'd be waiting for us when we got there.

Hmmmm.

And to those families who have walked the path before us, or who are just veering left along with us...Gosh, can I just tell you thanks for all your support? I have the hardest time getting on our cancer kids web sites ( my funk thing -- remember from past recurrences????). And y'all are amazing. I just can't say enough. I thought the first club we were in stank, but this one...forget it.

To those families who are battling away or who are in remission...or off treatment...I know you are living with your own pain, and y'all keep coming in to check in on us. Here's my thanks.

And to those who are friends old or new...thanks, too. Van was amazing, and I wish everyone had the chance to meet her. (She had her days 'course.) But she was my sweeeet, sweeeet baby.

Mother's Day -- ugh. Tried. Ugh. Even for Lance it was awful. Next year? We'll be poolside and soaking up some sun, me thinks.

Hugs to you all. You guys are the absolute best. No doubt.

Amy

Thursday, May 6, 2004 2:41 PM CDT

I guess you could say things are getting tougher around here. I swear I miss Van more every single day. I hurt so much I couldn't even tell you. I must be coming out of shock.

On April 21st, SAvannah's school held a tree-planting memorial ceremony in her honor. The tree is a Bradford Pear, in honor of her love for flowers and blooming trees. The whole school attended, and each of the first graders in her class tied a pink ribbon to the tree. Also, Mrs. Masek & Ms. Leppert (Savannah's kindergarten & first grade teachers) presented the school with a piece of Savannah's artwork beautifully framed & matted along with her dates. The picture was one I selected which I thought truly represented Savannah. It was the title page to one of her many stories she was writing. Not sure if it was a rough draft or the real thing, as she had it in a folder with many copies. It is entitled "The Little Bug Went Walking" and she had pictures of a butterfly and a bug. The colors were bright & cheery (pink & purple of course), and it had her name on it.

Yesterday, Jazzy & I were presented with the framed announcement of the Savannah Olson Memorial Scholarship to be initiated at the girls' preschool (also our church). Lance & I are so honored by this, too. The announcement, donation slips & thank you notes are all designed on what else? Flowers & butterflies.

Savannah would be so honored by this.

We have more tricks up our sleeve for honoring her fight (and victory, I believe...wow! What a legacy!). I will share them with you when we have a bit more work done. Savannah would be very proud of what we have planned.

Jasmin is doing much better with her separation anxiety from Lance & me. She misses Savannah more than she'll tell us. I can see it when she mentions things they did together...or when she goes into Savannah's room to play...or when she parades around in Savannah's wig. I know, tho', Jasmin is soaking up all her time with Lance & me. I think she is making up for all the time we spent at the hospital.

Jazzy & I visited Hope for the first time last week, and it was an emotional reunion. Yet awesome at the same time...and Jasmin walked away with a present (of course).

Just want to take a moment to recognize those families who have lost loved ones. My friend, Bob, lost his mom on April 25. He's back home in CO now...but am thinking of him a lot. His mom was a staunch supporter of Van's.

Also thinking of Mason's family. Mason passed away on Monday. I'm not saying he lost his battle to Wilm's, because as I said earlier...they've won in my heart. www.caringbridge.org/ky/mason_d.


And sending out huge hugs to the Smith Family. Kassisdi passed away this weekend (also at age 6). She & Van fought the last year and half together at Hope battling relapse after relapse for Wilm's. They'd play and laugh and show off all their princess stuff just like 6-year old girls should be doing.

Hugs and hugs to you all.

Amy

Friday, April 16, 2004 2:04 PM CDT

Last weekend, the Woodridge Jaycees held a benefit for Savannah. Our neighbor, Donna, co-chaired the function, and though it was initially planned with the hope that Savannah could attend, we were delighted to know that the Jaycees planned on holding it despite her death.

The evening was so awesome! As I addressed at the benefit, the event felt more like a celebration of her life rather than a fundraiser. So many of our friends & family were in attendance...along with many we didn't even know. I don't know the final count...but they were turning over tables for the spaghetti dinner like crazy. Savannah would have been proud to see so many come out in support of her. Lance & I, along with our families, were once again amazed at the support and, as always, so grateful.

Donna sent out an e-newsletter post-benefit, and she gave me her approval to post some of it on Savannah's site. Here are clips from it:

==========================================================
...ON TOP OF SPAGHETTI ... A Song for Savannah turned out even better than I dreamed it would. I am going to refer to the evening as 'BITTER - SWEET'. It had it's moments of laughs ..... and of course it had many, many moments of tears. Not tears of sadness though, I felt Savannah there with us, so they were tears for the life she lived...

...Every table received a few memorial sheets on Savannah also. The front window blinds were open to let the sunshine in. I made 20 stars ... 10 red and 10 white with her name brightly shining on the red ones and we had them hanging from the ceiling on opposite colored ribbons...

...My little Savannah ... my "HERO" was honored in a way that only she deserved. I DID feel her there. For as weird as it sounds, and maybe it was because I was tired, BUT when I was taking the large picture of her off the big screen TV to give to her parents I felt really warm for a minute. IN MY MIND I WANT TO BELIEVE THAT SAVANNAH HUGGED ME. I know she was SMILING from above free and without pain... I feel a sense of closure now to what has been a very difficult time for me over the past few weeks. I needed Savannah to know just how SPECIAL she was, and like Jim Cihak says all the time: "Parents should never out live their kids"...

...I want and need to send out a special shout and thanks to my boss RICH MOORE whose heart is as big as Texas. He not only donated the use of the CCH, [but] he donated allllll of the food, and then went out at 7pm the night of the benefit for more because we ran out...

...We had a little time after the benefit was over for kiddy karaoke and it was fun. Savannah's sister "Jazzy" sang and put a smile on everyone's face...

...Keep a SMILE on your face
and a SONG in your heart
and
God Bless Savannah
Fly Free...

...Love ya all
.......... Donna
===========================================================

Quite a tribute to the evening, isn't it???? Anyway, just plugging along here. Please take a moment to visit the other cancer fighter sites. Your messages & support make such a difference! (You can find links in Savannah's guestbook.)

We love you & miss you always, Savannah.

With love,
Lance, Amy & Jasmin

Thursday, April 8, 2004 9:00 AM CDT

We are missing Savannah soooo much. I feel her everywhere I go, and it feels so good when Jazzy talks about her. Jazzy heard me talking to Savannah the other day (she has heard me talk to her before this), and she asked me why I was talking to her if she wasn't there. I said because we still can. So we chatted a bit about talking to Van, and when Jazzy was satisfied, she turned to her side with a lip gloss in hand, reached out and asked Savannah if she wanted some. Jasmin has been giving us so many smiles...and we keep letting her know how good she makes us feel.

The local paper ran an article last week on Savannah's fight and the upcoming benefit this weekend. They are going to run another article on her this Friday, because lots of people have been asking about the pink ribbons tied to the trees. The photographer came out to my friend's house yesterday to shoot pictures of the kids tying ribbons to a tree...all the kids whose moms did the ribbons at school and down our street were in the picture. Jazzy was in it, too.

Honestly, Lance & I have so much catching up to do from the trip, the last week of Savannah's fight (we were at the hospital out-patient 3 of those days for all day), and from the chaos of arrangements & services to keep us preoccupied & busy. Yet even with all the catch-up, I really don't know what to do with myself. Our lives revolved around her medicine schedule, her hospital visits, her hospice visits, her requests to just be held...and it seems so strange to not give this care to her. I think a lot about all she did to win this battle, and I'm not mad or bitter (yet!) she had cancer & lost...I just am so incredibly proud of her for always stepping up to the plate ready to hit a homerun.

Many of you have written what an inspiration our family has been to you. The only thing I hope is that you live in the way Savannah lived...keep going despite the bad turns...keep positive...keep smiling...and keep seeing the world as beautiful.

I love you so much, Savannah. Mommy

Sunday, April 4, 2004 8:09 PM CDT

I don't really know where to start with my update. Savannah surely is smiling down on us, tho'. Have you noticed flowers blooming and the sun shining?

Savannah's services were lovely. I soaked in everything I could...the songs, the tributes, and the messages by the officating. We were so grateful for those who came far & near to honor and celebrate her life. She truly touched many lives, and she left such a legacy.

I miss her terribly...but gosh, am I thankful that such an awesome person was my child...to take care of, to smile at, to hold, to love and to laugh with...And the things that I always wanted for my children, they have. They know how much they are loved and they are so quick to return and bestow it on others. Savannah loved being with her family and her friends. She loved inviting others into her life, and she was outspoken about how much she valued her time with those she cared about.

I'm also so proud to share:

Savannah & Jasmin's preschool will be doing a memorial scholarship in Savannah's honor. Savannah's elementary school, Meadowview, will be planting a tree & tulips (one of her favorites) on the school grounds in Savannah's honor. Lance's hometown will be also planting a memorial tree at the park in town. Savannah loved nature...and she loved planting flowers in the spring. Her "thing" with Lance was to take care of our garden (she loved picking tomatoes), and they planted a few perennial gardens and lots of tulips this past fall. (A couple started peeking through the morning of her funeral service.)

Our neighborhood is lined with pink ribbons and so is Meadowview school.

Thank you to every one who has posted on her site, who has called us, who visited us and who attended services. We have found so much comfort and strength in your support. Many thanks to everyone who contributed in making the celebration of her life so beautiful. I was afraid we wouldn't do her justice, but you all showed us how she soared.

Love, Amy & Lance and Jazzy

Tuesday, March 30

Lance & I and our families invite you to wear pink or purple this week in honor of Savannah. And along with our families, we thank you for your words of support and encouragement. Every message brings us comfort.

For those of you who cannot attend services but are with us in spirit, Lance & I invite you to join us in tying a pink ribbon around your tree in remembrance of Savannah.

Thank you, Savannah, for teaching us that despite limitations, we can achieve...and that despite so much pain, the world is beautiful.

We love you so much,
Mommy & Daddy and Jasmin

Thursday, March 25, 2004 9:49 AM CST

I had trouble getting pics up of Savannah, Jazzy & cousins. Lance was able to post pics of Disney cruise.

Savannah slept all day Sunday, Monday & most of Tuesday. She went back to hospital yesterday for platelets & red blood transfusion, again. Her port had been bleeding. She will return tomorrow for counts. I won't even tell you what her counts were on Mon & Wed, because they were disgustingly low!!!

Savannah had a bit more energy last night. For the first time in many days, she asked me to hold her. (And this is generally what she wants me to do.) It felt so gooooood. She woke up this morning for about an hour but is back asleep. My mom has been driving Jasmin to & from preschool and having playdates at her house for Jasmin. Mom is here right now, so I could shower and update Savannah's site. I do NOT like to leave her alone.

I am trying to get her to go see a movie or do a Target run to buy a photo album and some frames for our Disney pictures. I doubt she'll feel up to it...but I want to keep trying to get interest piqued. She feels so lousy, and it hurts sooo much. I am so grateful she felt great on her trip!

I have posted above two, upcoming fundraisers for Savannah. Woodridge schools have Family Fun Night every year, and this year Meadowview will be including a raffle for Savannah's medical fund.

Thank you to Meadowview Student Council for hosting another Day for Savannah!

Love, The Olsons

Tuesday, March 23, 2004 10:09 AM CST

Our trip was awesome! We made so many memories to last a lifetime. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to read your messages the day I logged on to update her site (while on the cruise). We just had such an amazing trip. Jasmin didn't want to leave, and she has told me again this morning that she wishes we were in Florida.

We arrived home late Sunday night after an eventful trip home. Monday, Savannah & I spent all day (from 8a.m. to 7pm) away from home at the hospital, as she needed two transfusions & one antibiotic.

Savannah is resting comfortably today. She truly had a wonderful vacation. We had planned to bring her home after the cruise on Thursday, but she asked if we could go on to Disney World, as we had initially planned. Saturday night, we wanted to bring her home, because we knew she needed to be transfused. She wouldn't leave! I even asked if I could run her to the local children's hospital, but she wouldn't hear of it. She told us she wasn't going to any hospital but her own, and she wouldn't leave Florida until her plane was scheduled to leave!

The trip definitely wiped out Savannah, but neither Lance nor myself would change anything. It was awesome.

Will have pics soon. Until then, I am going to try to post some pics of Savannah & her cousins.

And many, many thanks to the angels at Encompass.

Love, Amy

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 1:48 PM CST

Helloooo from the Bahamas! LONG UPDATE FOR YOU~

We have so much to share with you that we don't even know where to start...

The morning of our departure commenced with tired but eager princesses. Savannah felt lousy but still wanted to leave for the cruise. Lance & I were both nervous about being away from home, but as I said before, we knew the magic of Disney would lift her spirits.

As you know, whenever we offer Savannah a wish to cope with her battle, she chooses Disney World. Her Make-a-Wish was Disney cruise & Disney World. To celebrate ending her first relapse treatment, we took her to Disney World per her request. And then when she relapsed again, we hopped on a plane with a little help from Mrs. Masek (her kindergarten teacher) and stayed for a few magical days at the Boardwalk in Disney. We swam and swam and swam... and met lots of characters! So Savannah's wish this time to take another cruise & visit Disney World only made sense.

The plane ride was nerve-racking, to say the least. Savannah didn't do well during descent (Sp?), and we had the EMTs meet us. I suspected Savannah would be furious at us for all the special attention. (We were the first to deplane, we were greeted by firefighters, and we were the entertainment of choice for many travelers.) However, she sat on my lap, allowed them to check her pulse ox, and took in about 5 minutes of oxygen. After that she felt much better and was ready to roll. She never complained or scowled. And she told us it didn't bother her to have so much attention...which generally she hates! YEA, Savannah!

Anyway...as for the rest of the cruise...Savannah is anxious to get going in the morning, so we rise early (before 7 a.m.!). Jazzy loves swimming and making friends, while Savannah sits by Lance & me on the deck enjoying a treat or drink. Savannah has only been in the water once, and that was today. She is still very sore on her right side, and she is afraid one of the kids swimming will bump her. And on top of that, her swimming suits (we have 3 -- all ranging in sizes from 5 - 7/8) don't fit her properly. Her stomach is incredibly distended.

However, to make up for the swimming fiasco (which Savannah doesn't complain about), Lance & I have spoiled her rotten. Lance took us into Nassau yesterday for some shopping...and Savannah had a blast. We didn't think she'd go into Nassau, but we were glad she did (what girl turns down Shopping). It gave her a change of scenery.

Savannah has been eating pretty much every meal and in-between. She likes seeing the characters and even spent some time at Castaway Cay today. Jasmin loved the beach there!

Lastly, Savannah is being treated as a special guest on the boat. We've had many perks to go along with the trip!

Mostly Lance & I have really noticed how well she is doing on this trip. It has been hard on her, but since we've been taking it at her speed, she is appreciating as much as she can. Jasmin has been such the supportive sister. She is letting us go at Savannah's speed without a fight.

Thanks for all your messages!

Love from the Bahamas,
Lance, Amy, Savannah & Jasmin

Saturday, March 13, 2004 2:51 PM CST

Lance & I brought Savannah home from the hospital last night. She is still in pain, but we are waiting for Vioxx (sp?) to be delivered to relieve it. She has two pain patches and morphine by mouth, but because she says her pain is on her right side in her bones and skin, the Vioxx should do the trick. She is on a med for fever (tumor-related).

Savannah has made two trips to Toys R Us and one to Target since she came home last night. She and Jazzy had their own mini Christmas!

As of the time I am writing this, we are still scheduled for our cruise. We will just play the duration of the trip by ear. Savannah is doing everything she so to go, and tho' we don't know how great she'll feel, our hearts tell us that seeing Mickey & Cinderella, the ocean and some sun will lift up all of our spirits...but hers especially.

Here's to our Sweet Savannah & Jumpin' Jazzy and a little mouse called Mickey.

Thursday, March 11, 2004 6:22 PM CST

Savannah was hospitalized this afternoon for fever. She is on oxygen, and she will be having the usual work-up -- blood draw for labs, chest xray & blood cultures. Fever is spiking to 103F and probably due to tumor. Yesterday she was in a lot of pain, but we finally got that under control in the early afternoon. She is pain now, and so her the dosage for her pain patch (which she went back on Tues p.m.) will be increased tomorrow.

They are trying to get her better for her cruise...but it'll be a close one. We have prepared her for missing it, but we will still try to get her to Disney somehow. To say my heart is breaking in two is the understatement of the year.

This trip will be Savannah & Jazzy's 5th trip to Disney and their second Disney cruise...please say a prayer that they make it. Disney has always been Savannah's favorite place, because all she is there is a normal kid. And for Jasmin, it is her favorite place, because her family is with her having fun.

Will keep you updated. Thanks for all your dinners, gift certificates for dinners, kind notes & messages, medical fund donations and Jazzy-sitting/playdates. We'd never be able to fully express our gratitude for your dedication to our family.

Love, Amy

Monday, March 8, 2004 10:30 AM CST

This past week was better for Savannah. Lance's sister came up with Sam for a few days, and we went to the mall and zoo (again, per Savannah's request!). Then we spent the weekend with the Olsons in Springfield. Savannah felt ok on Saturday morning, so we did some *vacation* shopping (read on to find out more about our trip!). That afternoon & evening she was in some pain. The rest of the day and on most of Sunday, I just sat and held her.

Today she is just wiped out but is in a pretty good mood (her moods have been upbeat for most of the time anyway). But what is really keeping Savannah happy is our get-away...

Lance, Jazzy, Savannah & I are off to a Disney cruise for 4 nights in the next week. Then we will spend 4 days in Walt Disney World with most of our family! My mom & brother, Lance's mom, aunt, 3 sisters and Sam will be meeting us in Orlando when we return from our cruise!

Thanks for your well wishes. Savannah has been a trooper through it all!

Amy

Sunday, February 29, 2004 7:05 PM CST

Savannah's thrush nearly is cleared up...thanks to the new prescription of Mycelex!!!

Despite Savannah still being exhausted and a bit icky, Lance & I are delighted to report the following AWESOME news (in no specific order, of course):

1) Savannah hasn't run a low-grade fever in a few days
2) Savannah was up for a quick mall run on Friday morning (yes, she was WIPED the rest of the day & night)
3) Savannah, Jazzy, Lance, Megan & I spent all of SAturday afternoon at the ZOO!
4) Savannah's Nana & Papa made a surprise visit on Saturday!
5) Savannah ATE ice cream on Saturday and asked for another mall trip! (Savannah is skin & bones "literally-speaking".)
6) Savannah asked for a third mall trip on Sunday. On Sunday she ate more ice cream, a piece of pizza (ok...it was small) and an half of slice of her favorite Italian bread.


Savannah is exhausted as of this time I am writing. Actually, I am logging off now, since Savannah is asking us to put her to bed.

But HEY! Savannah had the best two days in about 3 weeks, and Lance & I are so proud of all her hard work.

Love,
Amy

Thursday, February 26, 2004 3:05 PM CST

Savannah isn't doing a heck of a lot better. She is mostly on the couch and isn't eating. She has been fighting thrush for nearly one month, so today Dr. Salvi gave her a new prescription. Hopefully once that and her acid reflux (from the tumor) are under control, she'll have an appetite.

Today is "A Day for Savannah" at Meadowview School. Savannah's school continues to be extremely supportive in her battle. The "day" is spear-headed by Savannah's kindergarten teacher (last year), and the staff encouraged students to wear a hat in honor of Savannah having "to wear one for the last year and a half." Despite Savannah rarely smiling this week, the news of this special day at Meadowview brought a sweet, shy smile to her face.

Off to hold my sweet Savannah.

Amy

Sunday, February 22, 2004 6:46 PM CST

Savannah was released Friday afternoon. We sure are happy to be home, and Jasmin has informed Lance & me several times that she missed her family, and she loves her family. She also told me that she found a picture of Savannah & me, and she would look at it and "have a tear."

Savannah is not feeling great at all (from that tumor which keeps growing fast -- we're waiting for radiation to kick in). Friday's return of the fiesty Miss S has faded away. Savannah's been on the couch since Friday night except for when she goes to bed at night. She hasn't eaten but drinks a little. She hasn't complained of any pain from the tumor, but her tummy has been bothering her. She catnaps throughout the day or else asks for me to hold her. Lance & I are sad to see her this way, so we skip showers...were relieved to have dinner delivered tonight...and called Grammy early this morning to come by to help out with Jasmin, so Lance could do household stuff, and I could hold Savannah (or vice versa).

Tomorrow Savannah has radiation, and she will be going every morning this week. She'll also have clinic tomorrow, and most likely a platelet transfusion.

Lance & I are doing our best to keep Savannah's spirits up...you can see she wants to feel better and is tired of feeling lousy. Let's hope she feels better very soon!

Amy

Friday, February 20, 2004 8:33 AM CST

Amazing what just a few hours can do for Savannah!!! She woke yesterday morning a bit on the fiesty side, so I knew she had turned a corner! HURRAY!

Savannah was awake for most yesterday, except for a early evening nap. She played a lot with Child Life & her nurses...it seemed we were busy all afternoon with visitors, which was awesome. Savannah cracked a bunch of smiles and was back to her ol' self...teasin' her doctors & nurses.

We are waiting for Dr. Salvi to come by for his morning rounds with good news that Savannah can go home. She did really well overnight...only asking once since the patch was removed for a dose of morphine.

And on a side note...I taught class last night! ;) I have a new goal to help keep me focused with something else other than the recent developments with Savannah's cancer...the yoga instructor is helping me learn to do a proper handstand. We practiced a bit last night, and I sure was winded! I know...I am crazy!

here's to a great weekend for our little Miss S! Thanks for all your sweet messages. As always, they mean the world to us.

Love, The Olsons

Thursday, February 19, 2004 2:38 PM CST

Thank you for all your messages of warmth & caring.

Savannah was doing pretty yucky the past 3 days. Crummy from radiation & chemo. Her fever finally subsided yesterday morning...tho' she ran a higher temp a few times during the day, none qualified as "actual" fevers. Savannah received a platelet transfusion yesterday, and like the two days before, she slept ALL day & night.

I tried to teach a pilates class last night. (I didn't teach any last week, but I taught two on Tuesday night. The last one didn't go too hot, as I ended up cutting class 15 minutes early due to a stomach filled with stress!)
Anyway, I was less than 10 minutes to the center to teach, when I just broke down and turned the car around to come back to the hospital. That's kinda how things have been going for me. One moment I am fine, and the next I hurt. I just needed to be with Savannah.

One day at a time has turned into more like one hour at a time.

Tho' Savannah is on TPN (IV nutrition), antibiotics, immune booster, and oxygen as needed -- dictated by her not by the pulse ox machine at this point now, since she her sats are around 92%, Savannah should BE GOING HOME TOMORROW! As long as she does well overnight, she'll be sprung after radiation treatment tomorrow.

Savannah's pain patch was to be changed today, but we (her oncologist, Savannah & me) decided to see how she does without it. If she needs any painkillers, they'll administer IV as needed. The patch was removed at 10a.m., and the effects will last another 10 hours. So far she is comfortable.

Savannah still is coughing and complains of a very dry throat. At least she doesn't have a fever & is relieved of pain.

Lastly, the game plan is still day-to-day. One step at a time...

Will update as news progresses--
Amy

Wednesday, February 18, 2004 9:03 AM CST

We found out yesterday that one of our friends, a long-time battler, Brock Barnard passed away on Monday. I wanted to ask you all yesterday to please leave a note of support on his web site, but I couldn't get to the computer because Savannah is still crummy.

Brock's mom has helped me thru a lot with dealing with Savannah's cancer. I always felt Brock was an inspiration to us...he was a go-getter, and the family rallied around him with lots of love & humor.

Lance & I are very saddened, and we know that many of our other on-line friends are aching, too. In the last 4 months, we have lost a child close to us each month. It sucks.

www.caringbridge.org/in/brockbarnard

Our love to the Barnards...
The Olsons

Monday, February 16, 2004 7:45 PM CST

Just a quick note to let you know how Savannah is doing today.

Savannah has been asleep all day. She was awake around 10a.m. for about 45 minutes for radiation mapping, and then she woke again at 2p.m., and we watched TV, chatted and played a board game. She went back to sleep at 3p.m. As of now, she is still resting.

Many reasons play into her all day sleep...the most obvious being her body fighting. The second is she had a super surprise this weekend, as Lance's family came up for a visit! So she was active on SAturday evening and Sunday with them around! (It sure made her weekend.) The third reason is she didn't get to sleep until 1.a.m. last night, as the staff had a hard time getting her pain under control for the first time. (She is ok now). The fourth reason is she started another fever today. The fifth reason is she had a dose of Benedryl at 4p.m., and the last being the chemo making her just plain yuck.

Savannah should be going home by Friday. But she was moved from her room to an isolation room today, since she is now neutropenic (i.e.,her white blood count is near zero). Her doctors are hoping she can go home once her pain is under control...sending her home more for emotional support rather than her being really ready medically. Does that make sense? Lance & I would do a lot of home health for her there. She can go home before Friday if we so choose (barring fever is down), since we can do pain meds & antibiotics, Oxygen (yes, she's on oxygen now...she prefers it, actually) & neupgen at home.

Other than that...doing ok. Just giving lots of love to each other.

IF YOU HAVE BEEN IN CONTACT WITH ME AT HOPE AND NEED TO REACH ME...PLEASE USE x3561 SINCE SAVANNAH WAS MOVED TO NEW ROOM (RM4044).

Amy

Sunday, February 15, 2004 12:32 AM CST

Savannah is starting to feel better. We expect she'll be inpatient until Tuesday.

Savannah was hospitalized for the same reason as last month...fluid from the tumor. Her fever is gone, but she is still on antibiotics & fluids. Her cough is still pretty bad, but she finished out her chemo on Friday, so we are waiting for it to set in to alleviate the fluid. Savannah has been asking for morphine for the pain since Thursday. She has about 2 doses within a 24 hour period.

Palliative care came in today to talk to Lance & me. She will have two doctors who work in conjuction with Dr. Salvi & Dr. Hayani. All of us will benefit from the program, as the girls will have music & play therapy, while keeping Savannah's pain under control. Lance & I will have a support system, too. Don't ask how we are holding up, because I'll start crying.

Savannah starts radiation palliative care tomorrow. We'll meet again with Dr. Morgan for a mapping session, and then her treatments should begin on Tuesday. Savannah is up for it.

We don't know if she'll have any more chemo. This all depends on how this last treatment this week does.

Thanks for all your support.
The Olsons

Wednesday, February 11, 2004 10:12 AM CST

Savannah had out patient chemo on Monday and Tuesday. Monday night she started to feel not so well. She has a cough and was pretty much miserable, complaining of aches and body pains. She woke up Tuesday still not feeling well, she went to clinic and had chemo, and slept most of the day.

She spiked a fever, 101 to 103 or so yesterday afternoon, and again was feeling sick.

She was admitted last night. She is currently at Hope, had a fever last night and again this morning. She is having IV anti biotics and tylenol, and had another chest x ray last night.

We are waiting to see if they will continue with the chemo while she is inpatient, or wait and see how she feels.

Unsure of the cause of the fevers, maybe tumor related or a virus. I think she has picked up a bug of some kind, but we will wait and see.

As always, thanks for your continued support.

Lance

Friday, February 6, 2004 1:32 PM CST

CT SCAN RESULTS
We are home from Savannah's CT scan and clinic this morning. Savannah's CT scan shows the tumors in her right lung have grown, which we already knew from the chest xray last week. This is a bummer, but her left lung looks good! The cancer is contained to the right lung only. Savannah will have her next round of chemo on Monday. We are continuing with the new chemo, since she has had only one round of it, and the oncs can't really assess after this first round...ESPECIALLY considering the amount of fluid she had at her last CT scan in January.

SAVANNAH FEELS GREAT
And yet...I also am thrilled beyond my wildest dreams to report that Savannah is doing awesome. Whenever people ask me how she is, I say, "WEll, it's a two-part answer." First, the cancer absolutely bites (I know, nice mouth, eh?), but then, Savannah is happy. She enjoyed a few playdates this week, she visited school yesterday, and she is excelling at her studies. Kudos to the 100s on homework assignments, Savannah, and on the A you received on your spelling test! In the month since the scary admit in early January, Savannah learned to tell time and started her multiplication tables. She loves math!

Every morning Savannah wakes with a smile. Each day is a gift, and she knows that...even if she doesn't say it, her actions sure do. She loves life and sucks in as much good as she can. Savannah & Jasmin are still reeling from spending last weekend with Lance's family, and they even sat front row for Toy Story 2; Disney on Ice! There is so much opportunity for a 6-year old, and our Savannah is loving it all. And from this, I draw my strength and fortitude.

NEWSPAPER ARTICLE
Lastly, please visit our friend, Elliott's web site at www.caringbridge.org/il/elliott. We met Elliott's parents when he was first diagnosed last year at Hope while SAvannah was undergoing her first stem cell. Elliott's mom, Cindy, has been such a support to me, and Elliott's humor has made many, long clinic days more fun. Elliott leaves for his Make-A-Wish this weekend, and the Beacon News wrote an article about it. The story is on Elliott's site and in today's paper on page A3. In it, you'll also find a bit on our Miss Savannah. Hugs to our Stars!

Love, The Olsons

Friday, January 30, 2004 8:18 AM CST

Thank you to every one for your notes of encouragement to Savannah! I just finished reading them to her, and she loved all the entries!

Liz...she was happy to receive an playdate invitation from Gracie, so I'll call you soon!

Jo Ann...the cookies were hit! Dr. Salvi had a couple and gave us a compliment on them. Of course, we gave credit where credit was due! Savannah ate about 7 herself!

CHEST XRAY RESULTS
Dr. Salvi tracked me down before Savannah's clinic visit with him to report the xray results. He stopped me with a smile! Savannah's lungs have recovered from the hospitalization earlier this month! Her lungs are clear of fluid and infection...which is amazing news! We gave each other a high five!!!!

But...the right lung still has the large mass at top of it and now they see a small nodule at the base of the lung. However, he doesn't know whether this is new or not, because the fluid would have masked it on the last set of scans (earlier this month). And, the left lung has an infiltrate. Savannah will have a CT scan next week to see if the infiltrate is tumor or something else. So, we can't measure the success of her first round of chemo, because the last set of scans (taken the day prior to round 1 of chemo) showed her lungs full of fluid.

Next Monday, Savannah will also go in to see if her counts are high enough to start round 2 of chemo. If so, she will have 5 days of infusion OUTPATIENT.

LASTLY, after a long day in clinic, SAvannah came home to nearly 2 hours of tutoring. WHERE she scored a 100% on her reading comprehension exam and learned to tell time! Lisa, her tutor, was amazed at how quickly she learned it! Of course, Lance & I knew she was ready to tell time for about the past 8 months, but she had to do it in her own time. That's our Savannah!

Thanks again for all your prayers!

And by the way, the girls have a playdate this morning! ;)

Signing off as A Mommy Filled with Hope,
Amy

Thursday, January 29, 2004 7:08 AM CST

Jazzy's birthday was nearly two weeks ago, and it seems like we just celebrated. I can't keep up! ;)

Savannah is doing great. She had a platelet transfusion at clinic on Monday, but her white blood count was high -- which we love!

She has been doing much better emotionally. Savannah became very angry & aggressive when we learned of her relapse in December, while Jasmin became very sensitive. Savannah has been more of herself since Jasmin's birthday. The only other thing that makes me sad lately is she talks about how Jasmin has lots of playdates, while she has to go to the hospital. Having a playdate is tough, because she has to have a high white count...plus she is usually exhausted by the time the first graders come home from school. Arranging playdates while she was in kindergarten was much easier. Savannah has been asked on two playdates in the past couple of weeks, and we just have to hit the timing right, so please think good vibes for her!

Lastly, Savannah has clinic this morning. She will have a chest xray to see if the chemo is starting to do some work on the tumors. Of course, many of you know that unfavorable Wilm's has mutated to become chemo-resistant (the are other chemo-resistant childhood cancers, too). However, we are hoping that this agent --Topetecan-- which she has never had and is new to treating Wilm's recurrence will do the trick. Savannah's breathing has improved, and Dr. Hayani had said we'd know before the scan after her first round of chemo whether it is working or not. I am feeling pretty positive for great results today!

As always, thanks for your kind posts to Savannah. She feels better from your encouragement.

Amy

Monday, January 26, 2004 10:15 AM CST

This will be a quick update.

Things have been going o.k. for Savannah. She has been feeling o.k. for the most part. Just hanging out and waiting for counts to recover from the last round of chemo.

She has a clinic visit today, and we will update soon.

Thanks

Lance

Thursday, January 15, 2004 8:35 PM CST

Savannah is doing a bit better. She hasn't run a low-grade fever today! And she ate some food today and a bit yesterday...which makes Lance & me happy, since she had lost some weight.


The oncology clinic is closed on Wed., unless a patient needs some medical attention which can't wait until Thursday. Yesterday was the first Wed Savannah's spent out-patient at Hope. While she was getting her chemo, Dr. Hayani came down to check her out. This must've been the best visit she's had (despite how many times she has teased him & Dr. Salvi), because he gave her the OK to go to the American Girl Place and Ed Debevic's today. Ok...so Ed Debevic's is the running joke between Savannah & aome of her medical staff at Hope. Let's see, she has been there 4 times since October. We went to AG to pick up presents for Jazzy's birthday...but as you can imagine...the girls walked out with a few extra-special treats. It was an awesome day, even tho' we had just done this about 3 weeks ago!

Lastly, the big news around here is Fannie May closing. Lance & Savannah are discussing buying out all the vanilla cremes! Savannah doesn't have much of a taste for chocolate now, but I am certain once those taste buds changed, she'd be emptying the freezer should we stock up on some butter cremes!

As you can see, we are finding all the ways we can to smile & laugh around here. And we are doing a pretty great job at it. ;)

Bye for now,
Amy

Sunday, January 11, 2004 11:36 AM CST

Jazzy has finally agreed to come with Lance to the hospital! Savannah & Jazzy painted some Care Bear figurines, and it was awesome to see them together again. Anyway, once Savannah's lunch tray hit her room, Jazzy was askingif she could eat the soup (despite having arrived just 30 minutes ago after stopping for breakfast on the way down to Hope)! So, since Savannah can't stand the smell of hospital food (or any for that matter), I am out in the waiting room with Jasmin so she can eat the soup...hence, I decided to take advantage of some computer time and update Savannah's page.

Savannah is doing much better today. They started chemo last night, and she'll be in today for chemo. Tomorrow she will be released after chemo, and then we'll return on Tuesday & Wed. for outpatient chemo.

The girls are having fun now...back to planning Jazzy's birthday on Saturday. We started planning last week but were interrupted by Savannah's sudden hospitalization! Of course, we are delighted that Savannah can participate in the festivities this weekend (and you know us Olsons...one party for a birthday girl is not enough!).

Thanks for your concern and prayers. We feel your support and are comforted by it.

Amy

Saturday, January 10, 2004 3:33 PM CST

We had a snowstorm last Sunday in the Chicago area. Did you know? I think it must have been sent especially for Savannah, Jasmin & their friends, so they could jam in lots of sledding (which we did!) before Savannah had to start working hard again.

So, Savannah may or may not have pneumonia. She may or may not have an infection. She definitely has a lot more fluid and tumor since Monday, per a chest xray on Thursday morning.

After long talks with her oncologists, we have decided to not do surgery. The cancer is growing too fast...faster than they expected...and surgery would put her in danger. I could go on and tell more, but you get the picture. It was a tough choice to make initially, and a long shot even then, but she is much worse than Monday...ok...you get the point, and I am having a hard time continuing to make it.

We have opted to start chemo today. Savannah is feeling better. Her fever is not constant like it was Thursday and Thursday night into Friday morning. She doesn't require oxygen as she did last night and thru the night. She is running on her own at about 98% oxygen sat. Sometimes today she hits 99% on her own, and she told Lance & me today that she is trying for 100%! (See our little fighter.) Her breathing is labored, still, and she has pain in her back from the tumors & fluid, but she doesn't want any pain med., so I don't know how crummy it really is. She was sitting up last night & today playing. She is nauseous, tho'.

This new chemo may or may not work. They don't know...but Lance & I decided to go for it. Savannah knows we aren't doing surgery, but she hasn't asked why. She knows we are going to try chemo, but she hasn't asked anymore questions. Tho' she thought she could do surgery, she is glad she isn't having it now. She does want to go for the chemo.

Please know we have been taking into account her feelings. This is her body! I am certain many of you wonder this & that about her treatment, but of course we don't post every encounter or discussion we have on her treatment. You should know that we respect her wishes, and we have always been forthright with her. So, we will answer her questions as they come. We should know within the month if the chemo is doing anything. This is her last hope. We do feel confident that the next move is best for Savannah. We have always done the best we can for her & Jasmin. That's our job.

We will update soon...maybe when I can write with a clear head. Yeah, right. I haven't had a clear head for at least 3 years.

Cancer sucks.

Friday, January 9, 2004 11:05 AM CST

This will be a quick update,

We received approval for the PET scan yesterday, however when Savannah woke up yesterday morning she was running a fever, about 100.8.

We called the docs, and she was sent to the ER, where she spent the better part of the day waiting for a bed. She was admitted, chest x ray shows possible pneumonia.

So she is at Hope, getting IV antibiotics, she seems to be feeling o.k.

We will update soon,

Thanks

Lance

Wednesday, January 7, 2004 9:46 AM CST

Hello and Happy New Year to everyone,

Savannah had a high resloution CT scan on Monday. The scan confirmed that the main tumor in her right lung is growing, it has doubled in size since her last scan in mid December, as well as the presence of several other nodules in the same lung. We met with the surgeon yesterday to discuss removal of the right lung.

The surgeon advised us that he can perform this procedure, and that recovery time, risks, and what not will be about the same as her other two lung surgeries. He wants Savannah to have a PET scan (positron emission tomography), before he performs the surgery. This scan will give us a very clear picture of what is going on in Savannah's lungs. The concern here is to make sure that there is no cancer in her left lung. If the left lung looks clear, which it has on all CTs before, he advised us we can they decide on what our next step will be. Wether or not to proceed with this surgery ? The thinking is that if there is tumor in the left lung, we probably should not proceed with the surgery, as it will not have any benefit.

Savannah is feeling o.k. She is complaining of some pain in her right chest,a result of the tumor. We have Tylenol with codine, but she hasn't asked for any yet. Her energy level remains high, she hasn't had chemo since December 5, and her counts are looking good.

The scan is scheduled for tomorrow, pending insurance approval. We will update as soon as we know anything.

Lance

Monday, December 29, 2003 8:04 PM CST

We hope you all had a lovely Christmas. We spent Christmas in Pennsylvania with my uncle and his family and my parents. (I am going to try to upload some photos...so please go visit the photo album for new pics.) Savannah & Jazzy were relieved that Santa received their email in time to know they would be in Yardley, PA and not Woodridge, IL or Cantrall, IL. And, they both were very surprised and thankful for the EXTRA presents (that they didn't ask for) which Santa brought with him. Let's put it this way, Savannah & Jazzy have just started their Bratz collection, and oh what a collection they have!

Among other gifts, they have more stuff for their Bitty Twins and each have a new American Girl doll. Plus MORE Barbie stuff. Oh...if you were at our house now you'd hear the every-parent-post-Christmas-lament..."We are we going to put it all?" But, we are happy they enjoyed themselves and that we can do it for them. And that we have them to spoil!!!!

We had a great time on our trip. It was a nice vacation from reality. I call those trips "my pretend life"...of course now we are back to reality and hit clinic early tomorrow morning. We did visit NYC for a day. It was so jammed down there, but we SAW so much. Per Savannah's request, we visited the Statue of Liberty...and that was neat having her ask me what it was for. Plus we saw Ground Zero. I'd like to say that was very moving for Lance & me...but there are no words to describe it. I wish we could have spent more time reading all the memorials and signage. Savannah knows about 9/11, and she asks me so many questions about it. I told her it is so hard for her to get why Daddy & I were so moved to be there...I know she wants to understand it, and I am proud of her for appreciating its magnitude.

Lance & I have a few parties to attend on New Year's Eve, and I'll be the first to admit that we often wait too long to spend time out together (just the two of us). Our friends remind us we need to get out...well, we are opting, once again, to stay in...just the 4 of us. As Jazzy sez "We can be a family, then." Jazzy's favorite thing as of late has been to have family hugs and cuddles on the couch. Savannah is excited to go shopping for all the appetizers, dinner & noise-makers!

Happy New Year to all. May your 2004 be blessed with family, love & health.

The Olsons

Tuesday, December 23, 2003 11:00 PM CST

I did an update this afternoon...so if you missed it check out "past journal entries".

And make sure to check out the new pics of our rock stars!

Happy holidays,
AMy

Tuesday, December 23, 2003 5:13 PM CST

Savannah had clinic this morning. Her counts are decent...on the way up. She missed a platelet transfusion by a hair...phew! We had a lot to do today and no time for transfusions! (As we say here at the Olson household..."we are on a tight schedule, people!")

Savannah, however, had a blast at clinic today. Our Christmas gift to the oncology staff was a pizza party (Dr. Canner...if you are reading this with your new cat eyes, sorry you missed out! SAvannah missed you there but is anxious to see your new eyes!) She had fun teasing Dr. Salvi and nurse Jenny that they couldn't have any pizza. Then after Savannah & I were done eating, and Dr. Salvi hadn't had any yet...Savannah went on the search for him to tell him "hey, there's only one piece left!" Of course, there were about 3 whole pizzas left! She was a total prankster at clinic today, and THAT...how comfortable she is there...is like one of the best gifts of all right now.

She'll start a new chemo after holidays.

While Savannah is having fun (well, I am, too), I have seriously had brain meltdown. I've forgetten so many things in the last two days...meat for the spaghetti sauce, Christmas presents at Nana's which I bought in Springfield for Christmas day. I got to the mall and realized I had left my purse at home plus the shoes for Lance I needed to return. Well, SAvannah will tell anyone how she needs to remind me about everything!!! ;)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS from the CRAZY OLSONS!

Monday, December 22, 2003 1:45 PM CST

hi Friends.

We went out of town this weekend to celebrate Sam's 3rd birthday and to have Christmas with Lance's family. The girls were spoiled, spoiled, spoiled...but we all loved every minute of it. Among many, many other gifts, JAzzy got a set of drums, while Savannah rec'd the electronic guitar (with amp & mic) she wanted! So...that's where the rock star references in her guestbook came from!

The best part of the weekend was spending it together. The girls had so much fun with their cousins Sam (3), Nick (6 mos) and LIlly (6 mos). Of course, they both now think they are professional caregivers...they just want to do everything they can for the babies! ;)

The countdown is still on...but luckily Christmas yesterday with Nana, Papa, Bossy, et al kinda eased the suffering from the anticipation.

Happy Holidays,
The Olsons

Friday, December 19, 2003 5:37a.m.

Thank you all for even more kind words of support. Last June when Savannah relapsed I didn't get on the computer for months (remember?). But now I find that this is my lifeline again...and I thank you all for reaching out to us.

Savannah has an early clinic appointment today, and so we'll be talking more about Savannah's next step. We have some options...will let you know once Lance & I have decided. Right now...we all are prepared to fight.

Savannah is feeling alright. Her white blood count is still low, and her platelets have dropped, so she'll get a tranfusion today. She is a bit tired but has been busy at home (house arrest, you know!) playing Groovy Girls, reading books (she & I "snuck" to the library!) and doing her homework. She had a great tutoring session on Monday. She loves it!

Savannah currently is also writing a book of her own entitled "The Little Bug Went Walking." She is on page three, and this is must be her mastepiece, because she redid the title page about 4 or 5 times (I lost count!). ;) I am very proud of her and her diligence!

Please remember all the children who fight. If you see a family who has signed Savannah's guestbook and left their URL, please take a moment to visit them. You'd be surprised at what a networking the cancer parents have built. We depend dearly on them for their guidance, love and support.

And most importantly, please remember little Cam who earned his wings earlier this week. Please visit this special little guy via his web site at www.caringbridge.org/mt/my.little.cam

Amy

Saturday, December 13, 2003 3:00 PM CST

Savannah is in the hospital right now with neutropenia (her white blood count is so low --0.1 when normal range for average person is 10.0 - 12.0). She developed a fever on Thursday morning while we were waiting to be called back for clinic appointment. She was admitted from clinic then and has been on IV antibiotics since. Luckily, Savannah's fever only lasted a short while on Thursday, so she has been feeling good the past two days. Yesterday & today we have been playing many games of BINGO and the new Cat in The Hat Fun-in-a-Box. Right now, she is working on her homework.

Tomorrow Savannah will have a CT of her chest & abdomen for progress update. I believe that the results will be awesome, and I know God is saving our baby.

We hope Savannah will be released later tomorrow or early Monday morning.

Please, as always, we ask that you say a prayer for Savannah. She still has so much to do here.

Love, Amy

Monday, December 8, 2003 6:25 PM CST

Savannah was discharged on Saturday morning. She is home now and she is feeling o.k., not the greatest but at least she is home. It seems that the chemo is wearing her down more and more as we progress with this treatment.

Jasmin is ill, but her doctor says it is just a cold. We can't really keep her and Savannah apart from one another, so we will just keep our fingers crossed that Savannah doesn't pick up anything from Jasmin. Savannah's counts will be dropping this week, so we will be watching both of them very closely, and if Savannah's recent trend continues she may very well get a fever later this week and be admitted.

It was three years ago today that this nightmare began, December 8 is the day that Savannah was officially diagnosed. This is the day that we were told our daughter has cancer, but if your child has to have cancer, this is the ONE you want them have (This is what we were told). That sentence seems strange to write, but that IS what we were told. December 8 is the day that Savannah's innocence was stolen by this beast. The day that her normal childhood was taken from her.

To Savannah, We love you, you are the toughest, kindest, bravest, most loving child ever, and it is from you that we draw our strength as we continue on in this battle.

As always, please continue to pray and thanks for your continued support.

Peace,

Lance

Friday, December 5, 2003 1:47 PM CST

Savannah will be going home tomorrow morning. And she cannot wait...she was terribly homesick last night.

Savannah & I have been keeping busy with Christmas crafts, homework, lots o'episodes of "Full House" (thanks to a videotape care of Grammy), and playing baby dolls. We've been busy with boardgames, too, and Savannah has learned to play Connect Four, Aggravation (remember THAT game!!!), and the real Yahtzee (not Yahtzee Jr) this admission!

Savannah and I have also been on-line a lot doing some Christmas shopping. The girl has great taste in gifts!!!!

Love, Amy

Wednesday, December 3, 2003 3:47 PM CST

Savannah is doing great. She had an awesome Thanksgiving and past two weeks out of the hospital. The week before Thanksgiving, Savannah, Jazzy & I went with my mom to my grandmother's and visited my brother, too (who attends U of Iowa just one hour west of my grandmother). We rented movies, ate out at Savannah's fave 50s/art deco diner and shopped.

For Thanksgiving Lance & I took the girls to Springfield. We visited a lot with Sam & Nick (their cousins), and we even helped babysit Lily (their other cousin)one night! One day we spent at The Festival of Trees where we ate & ate and did some crafts. The girls had an awesome weekend.

We returned on Sunday and started to decorate for Christmas...and as hard we tried to finish, we just couldn't get it all done. Monday we came in for clinic & Savannah's counts were up enough for chemo, so she was admitted. Savannah will be in for chemo until Saturday morning.

Savannah & Jazzy are having fun looking thru all the catalogs to see what they want for XMas. Once again this browsing is a testimony to their DIFFERING personalities. Jazzy just likes to look while Savannah's list grows exponentially (sp?)!! And of course, we all want to indulge the kids the best we can. I am having fun with her ever-changing "most important" or "most favorite" items!

This week is the week Savannah first started to really present with the cancer 3 years ago. The next week will be sad for me, because I was with her that entire time. I'll never forget her response to me when on day 2 of her "illness" I said to her "don't worry...you just have the flu," and she responded (at age 3.5), "No, Mom. This isn't just the flu."

I am forever amazed at how introspective and observant Savannah is. She understands a lot more about life and others than I do.

I have to close by telling you this story that Savannah & I shared last night. She had me tears; though I suspect many of you simply will find it endearing. Our exchange paraphrased as follows: (paraphrased only because I have the sketchiest memory EVER!!!!)

Me: Remember Sat.night at Nana & Papa's when you, Jazzy & I were laying in bed watching TV, and I fell asleep?

Savannah: Yes. You and Jasmin fell asleep, and I stayed up for the whole movie!

Me: You did! No way!

S: Yeah. I turned the TV off myself. But I went in to get Nana to turn off the lights.

Me: YOu did? That was very sweet of you not to wake up me to do that. I was so wiped out.

****following is the line that sent the tears a-flowin'****

S: Yes. And I even fixed Jasmin's pillow. She still had her two pillows propped up, and her head was falling off, so I fixed it for her!


Anyway, this simple act proves again how tender Savannah's heart is despite all the knock-downs. One day I hope to learn from this!

I love you, Savannah & Jasmin for all you give me and your daddy and each other. (As you can see in the pictures...they are devoted to one another.)

Amy

Tuesday, November 18, 2003 12:20 AM CST

Savannah was sprung from Hope yesterday. Her white blood count is still very, very low. We will continue on neupogen injections, and try to limit her contact with the outside world.

Other than that she is feeling quite well, it was a long 5 day stay at the hospital, as for the most part she was feeling good.

Thanks for all of the nice comments about the pictures.

We appreciate any and all encouragement.

As always, thanks for your continued support.

Peace

Lance

Thursday, November 13, 2003 9:39 AM CST

Savannah had been feeling well until last night. She spiked a fever, and was admitted. Her counts were very low when she was at clinic on Tuesday.

We have added a few pictures, so check them out and let us know what you think.

Peace,

Lance

Thursday, November 6, 2003 3:56 PM CST

Savannah's CT scan has been post-poned until after her NEXT round of chemo. Her back pain subsided Tuesday morning, so oncs are confident it was muscle pain. (I am TELLING you her hospital bed was a bit stiff even for me the first night here!!!)

Savannah is resting now from chemo, so I need to return to her. She has been keeping up on her homework despite feeling really run down from chemo. She is going home tonight and very excited about that.

Amy

Tuesday, November 4, 2003 11:58 AM CST

Savannah was admitted for chemo on Sunday. She should be released on Thursday.

Savannah & Jazz were absolutely gorgeous in their flower girl gowns & gear on Saturday. And, of course, they hit all their cues right on! We are always so proud of them, but we truly beamed at how graceful they were despite being nervous to do their job in front of hundreds of people!!!! Congrats to Jana & Eric, again!!!

Savannah is going down either today or tomorrow for CT scan of chest & abdomen. She is complaining of her back hurting where her surgery was in June. Could be muscle pain?? Anyway, pls say a prayer for positive results.

Thanks to all who check in on Savannah. Lance regularly checks in on our friends who are battling (tho' he doesn't sign often), but I am horrible. I think of you all so much.

Much love,
Amy

Wednesday, October 22, 2003 11:46 AM CDT

Savannah had a clinic visit yesterday, and her counts are high enough for chemo. However, Dr. Salvi is holding off on admission for chemo until Nov. 2. For those of you who don't know, Jazzy & Savannah are going to be flower girls in my mom's best friend's (Kirsten) son's (Eric) wedding on Nov. 1st! (Got that???)

So, Dr. Salvi told her he wants her to have a ton of energy and fun for the wedding and chemo can wait. She doesn't have to return to the hospital until then. Savannah is very appreciative for the break from the hospital.

Congratulations to Aunt Rachel & Kevin on their engagement. We are anxious to hear about the latest details planned!

Happy Halloween!

Love, The Olsons

Sunday, October 12, 2003 9:05 PM CDT

SAvannah is AT HOME! She has to have IV antibiotics at home for 7 days...but she is HOME! (And her white blood count is still awfully low, she is on house arrest...but wait, she is HOME!)

Please say a prayer for the families whose children are battling, relapsing or failing in their battle. And please go donate blood or platelets!!!

Love, Amy

Saturday, October 11, 2003 12:01 AM CDT

We learned on Thursday that Savannah was septic (i.e. infection in her blood). The infection is strep-pneumoni (sp?) and, thankfully, is highly treatable. She has been on 3 IV antibiotics since 4:00a.m. Wednesday morning, and we are waiting to see if she can be released today or tomorrow. She will go home on IV antibiotics for about another 7 days, and then she will be switched to oral.

Savannah ran a high fever until Thursday night, and she has had two transfusions since Tuesday morning. We suspect she may need another this afternoon. She is in great spirits and has been teasing me all morning!

Jazzy is down in Springfield with Lance's parents. Lance is going to drive down today to bring her home. She is doing great...loving school (she has lots of friends we hear...wait! not our little social butterfly!) and enjoying her dance studio.

Thanks for all your good wishes.

Love, Amy and Savannah

Wednesday, October 8, 2003 2:44 PM CDT

Savannah had clinic yesterday, she received a platlet transfusion. When she returned home, she was not feeling very well.

She wnet to bed with a slight fever. Amy checked her temp at midnight and it was 103. We called the doctor , and were advised to get her to the hospital. They did not have any beds available on the floor, so Savannah and Amy spent most of the night in the ER. They did at least have a bed for Savannah there.

Savannah checked into her room today on the fourth floor. We will update as soon as we know what is going on, but she will probably be in for the next few days for IV antibiotics.

Peace

Lance

Friday, October 3, 2003 10:04 AM CDT

Hello!

If you've read Savannah's guestbook, you'd know that we took a trip to Disney in September. When Savannah was in-patient in early September for fever, I had a chance to speak with her kindergarten teacher (from last year). Her parents wanted to donate their points from their Disney vacation club membership so that we could take the girls on a nice get-a-way. They donated three nights at the lovely Boardwalk hotel!!! Of course, we grabbed the chance at returning to Disney (tho' we had previously told the girls our next few vacations would be to somewhere we haven't been!). We had such a fantastic time those four days. Savannah even tried Space Mountain! She said she won't go on it again until she is 10, but Lance & I were so proud of her for trying it! She must have gotten some sort of kick out of it, because she tells everyone who asks how Disney was that she tried Space Mountain!

Jasmin was just happy to meet so many characters again. She could let Cinderella's mice hold her all day.

Savannah was released on Tuesday from chemo of 5-day inpatient stay. She hasn't been to school since the Friday (Sept 19) b/4 we went to Disney. Next week, we'll be meeting with her school to discuss her attending school part-time and still having the benefit of a tutor come into the home a few hours / week.

We are off to Springfield this weekend for 8th annual fundraiser in Lance's hometown which his family organizes. Savannah is very excited about the S'Mores kits she helped me buy & put together yesterday. She is going to sell them to raise money for the fundraiser. She wanted to do this b/c there is a bonfire at evening time, so the kids can roast marshmallows & have s'mores. And Savannah wants to handle the money all to herself with just a bit of help from mommy!

The 4th Annual Hearts for Hope Halloween Ball is October 25. It is so much fun...costumes or evening attire. Last year our table went as SAturday Night Live characters (Lance was Father Guido Sarducci, and I was Mary Katherine Gallagher). This year our table is going to be Dr. Suess. Lance is going to be The Grinch, and I am going to be Cindy Lou Who. If you are interested in attending (it is SUCH a fun night!), please let me know. There is a silent auction, a live auction, tarot card reader, palm reader & characturist (sp?).

Well...I'm being paged by the ever, active Miss Jasmin.

Hugs,
Amy

Saturday, September 6, 2003 6:00 PM CDT

Savannah's last inpatient chemo stay went o.k. It was a long one, 5 days, and she was really ready to get out of there. She was released on a Tuesday night at about 10:15 P.M.. She started school the very next day. This girl is amazing. She made it through her first three days of 1st grade. She is enjoying it.

She was ready to head back to school after the Labor Day weekend, however she spiked a fever on Tuesday and had to be admitted. She stayed at Hope until Friday and received IV antibiotics as well as blood and platlets (twice), her counts are still very, very low. She was released with the understanding that she is under house arrest for the time being. She is taking it o.k., and she says that being at home is better than being in the hospital, even if she can't have any visitors or go anywhere.

Savannah had a chest CT scan while she was inpatient and the news is good (we think). The tumor in her chest has shrunk significantly from the chemo. There was another
spot, which they are unsure of what it is. It could be scar tissue, fluid, a nodule, or possibly new tumor. Dr Salvi is unsure but he feels positive and says the shrinkage is good news, and at least shows that the chemo is having a positive effect.

Thats all for now, as always thanks for your continued support, and please pray for quick recovery of counts for Savannah, so that she can get back to school, where she belongs.

Peace,

Lance

Friday, August 22, 2003 1:58 PM CDT

Savannah is being admitted for chemo today. This is going to be a five day stay, a change from the rotation of 3 day stays she has been having. The doctors want her to get a little higher dose of cyclophosphamide, so she will be inpatient for 2 additional days.

She has been feeling quite well recently and the girls spent the day Thursday at Kiddeland, they had a blast.

On Monday, I took the girls to their first ever major league baseball game. The Chicago White Sox had a cancer survivor night, and POPS provided free tickets to the game. It was quite nice. There was a parade of survivors before the game. We were able to go onto the field, and circle the track before the game. Pretty cool. The girls had a great time, they enjoyed the food, and they were really paying attention to the game. We stayed until the fifth inning, which was longer than I anticipated they would want to stay.

When we got home from the game, I turned it on tv, and we watched the end. Frank Thomas hit a 2 run homerun to win the game in the bottom of the ninth inning. The home run was right down the left filed line, and I told the girls "I think that ball landed right where we were sitting." They did a slow motion replay of the homer, and sure enough, the ball landed on a bounce, and the guy sitting in the seat directly behind where I was sitting, caught the ball. All in all it was a great time, and I am glad the girls were able to experience it.

We will update when Savannah is released. From what we know, they will probably do a CT scan a few weeks after this round of chemo, and we will know a little more then, as far as what is going on in Savannah's lung.

As always, thanks for your continued support.

Lance

Monday, August 11, 2003 3:49 PM CDT

I can't believe the summer is nearly over! When Savannah isn't in-patient, we've been spending two days out of the week in clinic. The days there are long -- no matter how quickly they try to move the children thru. Last week Savannah had platelet transfusions each visit. On Thursday she returns, and we are planning for a long day with 2 transfusions for red blood & platelets. I'd say about 1 out of every 2 visits we stay for transfusion.

Tho' Savannah's white blood count still hovers around the neutropenic state, we headed down to Springfield for a visit. Lance & I decided the girls had been holed up enough, so we took them & Krissy to the state fair on Saturday. We didn't stay nearly as long as I had planned, but the girls still had a good time. They pooped out pretty early on since it was so hot.

Savannah starts school on Aug. 27, and Jazzy starts on Sept. 11. Savannah is excited about 1st grade and is nearly done with her school shopping. I don't know how often she'll be able to attend due to chemo, low counts, etc., but we will get to that when we need to.

Enjoy the remaining weeks of summer!

The Olsons

Tuesday, July 29, 2003 4:36 PM CDT

The past week has been busy for us. My uncle Tom came in from Italy for an extended visit, as well as my other uncle Chuck, his wife, Sigrid, and my two cousins, Justin (17yrs)& Alix (14yrs). My grandmother and brother were both here, and we had such an awesome time. Unfortunately, SAvannah was admitted for chemo on Thursday and stayed until late Saturday night. Generally, she doesn't "mind" the hospital admissions, but this one was sooooo tough on her, because everyone was in town. We made the best of it, as everyone made some visits to see her, we played with her friend Matt a/k/a Bubba, who is in for stem cell transplant, AND we beat it out of there as fast as we could Saturday night.

Savannah knew she was being discharged Saturday night, but when they came in with the news she'd be there even later because she needed a blood transfusion, she kept a mindful eye still on the clock. Since she knew she was leaving after her transfusion, she kept asking Bubba's mom & I how much longer she had left. Of course, the transfusions take 3 and half hours, and she started asking after 15 minutes! Though it frustrated her, Liz & I were tickled by her efforts to get out of there!

If you've read Savannah's guestbook, you would know that she has a marriage proposal already. Well, I gave her a little tease, because at age 6, she has two spirited, fiesty fighters who are vying for her hand. Bubba did a mini proposal himself during this last admission! It seems, tho', that our Savannah has her eye on another little chap. Of course, I personally think all three of her "boys" are awesome. But keep this all under wraps, since she would be absolutely mortified if she knew I were announcing this to all of you!!!!!! (I try not to encourage her about "boyfriends" or who she likes, but at times she'll just come up to me and confide a little secret crush. :> )

Savannah, Jazzy & I are off to Springfield tomorrow morning for an overnite stay. It'll be short, but we all are anxious to see everyone.

Hugs to all!

Love, The Olsons

Tuesday, July 22, 2003 3:45 PM CDT

Check out the new photo from the POPS (Pediatric Oncology Parent Support group) picnic. You can see Dr. Hayani in the background. Savannah is just steps away from him and gearing up for the super soaker battle!!!

You all have been so supportive and instrumental in our fight. But many families don't have that. If you read thru Savannah's guestbook postings, you'll see that someone found her from the www.chubbychica.com web site. From their site, you can "adopt" a caringbridge.org pediatric patient, and then you drop in to check on them just like you do us. If this interests you, please consider doing it!

Hugs & butterfly kisses to Cameron who lost his grandmother this past weekend.

xoxo, amy

Monday, July 21, 2003 2:54 PM CDT

Savannah was not admitted for chemo. Her platelets are too low, and Dr. Hayani isn't sure if she'll even be ready on Thurs. Her counts are so long in recovery b/c of her second relapse treatment, especially the tandem stem cell transplants. (all parts of her treatment having knocked the socks off of rejuvenation.)

We will continue to enjoy the time off, as her other counts are ;ookin' good.

xoxo, amy

Sunday, July 20, 2003 10:50 AM CDT

Hi Family & Friends,

Savannah will be admitted tomorrow for chemo. She has been doing GREAT! She needed a platelet transfusion last Monday, but since then her counts have really climbed, and we've been getting her out & about now. My uncle Tom, who lives in Italy, is visiting this week...so we've been at my parents the last two days. Yesterday we all went down to Lincoln Park Zoo, and the girls had a blast. (They both adore Tom...it is hysterical to see them enjoy playing "tricks" on him...like sticking up his shirt the baby snakes Jazzy purchased from the zoo gift shop.)

The last few days have been filled with much joy & laughter. Savannah for once has told us that she does not want to go into the hospital tomorrow. (She's having too much fun at home.) I can hear Savannah & Jazzy outside right now with Lance. They are riding her motorcycle. I think hearing the two of them playing together is my most favorite sound.

We played a bit last week with friends and the girls were so happy. Savannah and Jazzy also caught the tailend of Jack's birthday party, and even though we had to beat it there from clinic and only had 30 minutes to enjoy it, as she climbed in the car to go home, SAvannah turned to me with a huge smile and said,"I know we weren't at the party for very long, but I had a great time."

That is a testimony to her spirit. She sees the glass half full.

And Savannah has been doing that a lot lately. She turns to me a lot to tell me how much fun she is having or what she really is enjoying. I swear it makes my heart swell up.

Many of you have asked me how I am really doing...or have said to me that you figure I am having a hard time b/c Lance is doing all the updates. It is strange, b/c I find that I am really content most of the time. I've just noticed that things which used to fuel my energy for the fight now seem cumbersome & overwhelming. Like getting on the computer or fundraising for the hospital. Even last week I cried both MondaY & Tuesday nights b/4 I left to teach Pilates classes. (Luckily Lance & I decided for me to keep these night classes, tho' I dropped my other two morning classes & my WEd. office job.) I really do need just those few hours away and the recharge of Amy time.

Some days I cry. Most of the time I laugh. Family, I swear, is my best medicine.

I feel many things. I feel anger for Savannah & Jazzy being robbed of so much normal kid time. I feel sad for seeing her little body filled with scars. I feel hurt for all our kids who face this. And I feel scared for the future. I have these feelings but generally, I've become very good at pushing these feelings to the side. Lance & I are doing our best to give Savannah & Jazzy what we can. As much normalcy and happiness as we can. Hugs & kisses are given in abundance, too. I find that those I feel so many emotions, I try so hard to see what we have. And we have a lot. We have two daughters who love so many people and so many things...and who given us many gifts. Savannah loves life. And you can't help but be driven by her zest for it.

OH!!! I should log off now, but I can't close this without saying...Lance failed to tell you that SAvannah had several parties for her birthday! The hospital gave her one the night before, and then one that morning (They came in her room to sing happybirthday). She was surprised by cakes & gifts...She had a family party at home that night, and then a party the next night at Nana & Papa's. And then a kid party two days later. Now if that isn't celebrating! She received so many wonderful gifts. The best part was just being with friends and family.

Thursday morning we have more family coming into town, so we are headed to Wrigley for a game. It'll be interesting. Go Cubs go!

I gotta get Lance to post the pics of Savannah in his Cards jersey & Hat, and then the picture of her in the Cubs hat Dr. Bert (a/k/a Dr. CAnner) gave her for her birthday. (You know Savannah revels in their rivalry.) ;)

XOXO,
amy

Monday, July 14, 2003 6:18 PM CDT

Savannah has been feeling o.k. the past week. She went to clinic this morning, and needed a platlet transfusion. She has been going to clinic, twice weekly. Her counts are still low, but seem to be on the way back up. We continue with neupogen injections, probably through Friday. She was scheduled to be inpatient chemo later in the week, but more than likely it will be next week.

We attended the POPS picnic this weekend. Savannah and Jasmin had a very nice time. Savannah had fun, she really enjoyed getting Dr Hayani with her super soaker. It is a very nice event, this year both Dr Salvi and Hayani attended. It is fun to see all of the cancer kids (just kids in my book), get a chance to have some fun in the sun, and get back at their doctors with water guns.

Nurse Jenny and her fiance Matt came over for dinner last night, the girls had a blast. We played some baseball in the back yard. Savannah told me I had to go into the house and return with 2 Cardinal hats and 2 Cub hats, and we had a little batting practice. It was fun.

Savannah's spirits remain high, she really is the most amazing child. She doesn't seem to sweat the fact that she has to get a shot every day. She handles it all like a true champion, and we couldn't be more proud of her. When we made the decision to continue with the chemo. Amy and I sat down, and Amy asked me what I thought of, when it comes to Savannah, the last 6 months. I told her, I thought of all the things Savannah has accomplished, school, reading, flower girl, just being a a happy kid. Amy felt the exact same way. We didn't remeber 2 months in isolation during her stem cell transplants or low blood counts, or anything else that goes along with cancer. We remember the happy times we have spent as a family. Don't get me wrong we remember all too well the horrors Savannah has had to endure, but to us, she is our first born child, and soo very special to us and it just seems the things that stick out in our memory are the good things, so we continue to fight. We will not give up, we can't.

Love

Lance and family

Friday, July 4, 2003 9:02 PM CDT

Happy Fourth of July to everyone. We hope you are all having a safe and fun filled holiday weekend.

Savannah is doing well. She was released from Hope on her birthday, last Friday. The week was filled with many birthday celebrations, we have been busy.

Other than the daily neupogen injections, there isn't a whole lot going on right now. Savannah has been feeling o.k., she does seem to tire easily, but with naps here and there, she recharges and is ready to go.


We spent the day at Amys parents, Savannah and Jasmin were in and out of their bathing suits and the kiddie pool several times, they had a blast. We had a very nice day, topped off by a Cardinal victory over the Cubs. All in all, a very nice holiday.

With love,

Lance and family

Wednesday, June 25, 2003 8:35 AM CDT

Savannah's CT results were o.k. Her abdomen appeared to be clean.

Chemo started last night. She will have chemo for three nights and should be released on Friday, in time for her birthday.

The chemo (ICE) consists of Ifosfamide, Carboplatin, and Etoposide. She has already received doses of carboplatin and etoposide, and she responded well to these drugs, they showed good results in that they shrunk and eventually got rid of the tumor in her lung before, however that tumor did come back, so we are apprehensive to say the least. Lets hope the addition of ifosfamide does the trick. The plan is to do 2 rounds of chemo, 3 day inpatient stays every 3 weeks, with clinic visitis, x rays, and CTs inbetween. It looks like we will have to do neupogen injections as well. Savannah was not happy to hear about those, as her broviac line was removed, so we will have to give her shots at home. This just stinks for all of us, but we will do what we have to do.


Savannah is feeling quite well now, she has recovered very well from her surgery. She is not on any pain medications now, except for some occasional tylenol. Her spirtis remain high, and she knows that she has a very rough battle ahead.

We hung out last night at the hospital, with Jasmin. Savannah is working on a "great big book of everything", tracing and coloring pictures of animals from every letter of the alphabet. We actually went outside last night for a while, as the weather is very hot up here right now, and I think she needed the fresh air.

On a lighter note, Dr. Canner seems to be converting her into a Cubs fan, which is just unacceptable. We need to get Savannah home, so I can instill some of that Cardinal pride back into her.

Love

Lance and family

Tuesday, June 24, 2003 10:32 AM CDT

To clear up some confusion out there, Savannah is ready to come home, however she has not been released from Hope.

She had a CT scan early this morning and we are awaiting the results.

We anticipate that Dr. Salvi will want to start chemo as soon as possible, maybe today or tomorrow, depening on how her chest looks.

We hope that Savannah will be released in time for her birthday on Friday, June 27. She will turn 6.

As always, thanks for your continued support and prayers.

Lance

Monday, June 23, 2003 1:39 PM CDT

A quick update to let everyone know what is going on with Savannah. Savannah is feeling much better, and ready to come home. She was removed from both oxygen and her pain pump yesterday. She is up and walking the halls.

Savannah is having a chest and abdominal CT scan today. We pray that the abdominal scan comes back clean and that the cancer has not spread through her abdomen. An x ray on Saturday showed that her lung is coming around.


As for what is next,

We have discussed everything with Savannah and her doctors, and we will proceed with the chemo. Please pray that this combination works. The ICE will consist of 3 drugs, 2 of which have already been used on Savannah.

As for Savannah, her spirtis are high, she is ready to come. We will regroup and prepare to wage war once again.


A special thank you to the North Shore Rods, Chuck and Wanda Neilsen, who has gratiously donated the proceeds from their Charity Car Show on June 21, to Savannah's medical fund. The car show was awesome and although Savannah was unable to attend, she was there in spirit.

Love

The Olson Family

Friday, June 20, 2003 1:19 PM CDT

Savannah seems to have turned the corner today.She was up and out of bed last night, and had a sponge bath. She had an uneasy night of rest, as she has to contorl her pain meds herself, which is hard to do when you are asleep.

Her chest tube was just removed, and although she wasn't very happy about it (the morphine), helped. We are sure she will be much more comfortable without the tube.


Savannah seems to be feeling much better today. She is up and around her room a bit, and using the bathroom. She is such a trooper, when she tries to get out of and into bed, she doesn't want any help. She is trying to do everything she can, on her own, and only askes for help after trying with all of her might. She is talking a lot more and there is force behind her words. Savannah is still oxygen dependent, and there really hasn't been much change in her right lung over the past 3 days. The doctors are somewhat concerned, but we feel she will be fine once she gets moving around. We are working with her on taking slow deep breaths to get that lung fully inflated and functioning to its capacity.

We miss Jasmin, but know she is in the best of hands with the crew in Springfield. This is all so unfair on Jasmin, but we know she "gets it". She is 3 years old, but she knows what is going on , she understands. On Wednesday Jasmin spent much of the day with us here at the hospital. She was in the room when Savannah got of bed and walked across the room. I was telling Savannah to take baby steps. Jasmin was watching Savannah, and when Savannah made it across the room, Jasmin said " You did a great job". And then Jasmin went into the bathroom with Rachel, and,asked her "Why does Savannah have to take baby steps ?". Rachel explained that Savannah was sore from surgery. Jasmin looked at Rachel and said "Thats o.k., I can be the BIG sister today ". Pretty deep for a 3 year old, I'd say.

Love,

The Olsons

Thursday, June 19, 2003 5:20 PM CDT

Savannah seems a little better today, maybe. She is still in some pain. The pain managemnet team removed her epideral this morning, as they felt it wasn't "working for her". She complains of pain in her back whenever she is moved or tries to sit up. This afternoon, Savannah was given a PCA pump, which she controls to give herself fentanoyl to control her pain.


She is still on oxygen, but her breathing continues to improve little by little. She has had a pretty quiet day, no visitors just me and Amy. I think she needed a quiet day just to rest. We haven't really pushed her too hard today, we are going to get her up and out bed in a while, and walk around her room. She does not feel up to walking the floor just yet.

Her catheter was removed today, so she will have to get up to use the restroom and hopefully her chest tube will be removed tomorrow.

As always, thanks for your continued support.

Lance and family.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003 6:35 PM CDT

Savannah was released from ICU yesterday morning and sent to the 4th floor. We were quite suprised at the short stay in the unit, but she seems to be much happier on the floor, with all of her favorite nurses, who provide the best care in the world. We really couldn't ask for more helpful, supportive, competent, and not to mention compassionate care for our child. Savannah is much loved and well cared for here at Hope.


As for Savannah, she is getting better with every passing moment. Her oxygen levels are somewhat of a concern, but its to be expected with her surgery. She is wearing a mask for oxygen and they are dropping the levels slowly. She still has a chest tube and catheter, but we are thinking of removing the cath tonight. This will make her have to get of bed to use the bathroom, but this is a good thing. The sooner we get her up and moving, the sooner her lungs will begin to recover, and that will get her home sooner. She sat up quite a bit today, and we just had her up and sitting in a chair in her room for about 30 minutes. She wasn't happy about it, but Dr. Canner did manage to get a smile out of her, a much needed smile I might add.

I feel by tomorrow Savannah will be up and walking. I plan to take her on a lap around the floor tomorrow. One day at a time, thats how we are taking it.

We would like to thank everyone for their support through these tough days, you all mean more to us than you know.

Love,

Lance and family

Monday, June 16, 2003 11:59 PM CDT

Savannah had a thoracotamy this afternoon. She is currently resting under sedation in the peds ICU at Hope, they gave her a thorasic epideral which seems to be keeping her pain under control. She looks beautiful, considering the procedure.

As for the results, they are not good. I knew it was a bad sign when Dr. Hayani came to see us in the surgery waiting room, before the surgery was over and asked us to come into the consultation room.

When they opened Savannah's chest they did indeed find the tumor that was present on the CT scan, however there was more. The beast has raised its ugly head once again. There was another tumor in her chest wall that they thought was fluid on the scan. The tumor was not on her lung or attached to anything, but it was there none the less. The surgeon removed this mass, or "scrapped it out", as she put it to us, and then closed Savannah up. While we had thought the recurrence of the cancer was localized to one lobe in her lung, it is not. It has spread.

Needless to say, we are devastated. After all that Savannah has been through, the chemo, the raditaion, the chemo again, stem cell transplant, more raditation, how can this be ? This cancer is relentless.


We are currently weighing our options. The Doc is advising us to proceed with the ICE (chemo protocal), but at this point it is all sooooo much to take in. The thought is always there as a parent of a child of cancer, what if ? What if it comes back ? What will you do , what can you do ? But when it is all laid out for you, its too much to take. We will wait until Savannah is feeling a little better from this surgery and then we will discuss everything with her. She is a very intelligent child and quite capable of making decision that will affect her future, we have always been up front with her, and she knows this is serious business.

Please continue to pary for a speedy recovery for Savannah. We'll try to update soon.

Peace,


Lance

Sunday, June 15, 2003 9:47 AM CDT

For those of you who are returning to Savannah's site after not reading any posts for awhile, you should know that we received confirmation on Friday, June 13th, that a nodule is present in Savannah's right lung.

Because this sucker keeps showing up in the same place (this is the third time), her oncologists are sending her into surgery tomorrow (that's Monday, June 16th) to remove that upper lobe. Savannah will then be placed on the ICE protocol. ICE represents the three chemo drugs used in the treatment.

After a few quiet talks, and then another talk with Dr. Hayani, Lance & I have decided to proceed with this plan. We know that other Wilms' cases similiar to hers, where recurrence is localized, have been cured. Of course, i should clearly state (but hope you have already inferred) that this plan is not just something her oncologists want to do or come with. They do consult with precedence obviously, and most importantly with the National Wilms Tumor study group who researches & designs the protocols.

Dr. Hayani said to us their goal here is still to cure her. So she hasn't been turned away, and we aren't talking prolonging life.

As we have for the last two & half years, Lance & I are working together to fight for her, we have discussed now & the future, and we are on the same page. We believe in her team of doctors, and we are so thankful that she can stay at Hope.

Savannah is sad to go into surgery tomorrow, but I explained her options...and let her make her mind up on her own. She told me after that, she could do it again...We are trying to let her keep some control. I just feel absolutely rotten for her. I reminded her with a hug & kiss that Lance & I didn't bring her into this world so that she'd have to fight to keep her life...but because we wanted to enjoy life with her. Well, we are going to keep doing just that!

I remind myself of all that she has accomplished in the last two months (let alone 9!). She is reading and learning to ride a two-wheeler...and she is smiling.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there! Give 'em lots of hugs & kisses today! To Lance: I love you so much. I'd never had guessed when we met back in our crazy college days that together we'd have to pick up so many pieces and keep trudging through life with hope. You are the best.

Love, Amy

Friday, June 13, 2003 10:58 PM CDT

The nightmare has returned. CT scan confirmed a nodule is in Savannah's right lung (upper lobe) again.

Savannah is prepared to fight again. Lance & I are devastated. Jasmin is crushed b/c I cry a lot. Trying to stop all the tears, but the ache in my heart is unbearable.

We did make it to the Relay for Life and truly enjoyed our evening with friends/supporters & friends/survivors. I can't wait to post the pictures, because Savannah & Jazzy were into EVERY event going on. Savannah & Jazzy left around 9:30p.m., and I started to walk but couldn't take it, and I left at 10:30p.m. Had to be with Lance & my girls.

We are talking about heading to Springfield for the weekend. Savannah hasn't seen her new cuz, Nick, yet. And I think it will be quite awhile b/4 she can head down again.

will post more as things develop. In the meantime know that Savannah is a happy child full of love & life.

Amy

Friday, June 13, 2003 8:36 AM CDT

We had our clinic visit yesterday. Tho' Savannah's lungs sounded clear, Dr. Hayani sent us for chest x-ray anyway. Pneumonia (in left lung) has cleared up...(can you sense a huge BUT here?)...

BUT, a suspicious shadow in her right lung is present. It is in same place as the first "tumor" last March. Remember the "relapse scare"? The shadow is very faint on her chest x-ray last week, but this week it is more clear. It is about 1/2 inch, and we are now on our way to Imaging Center for CT scan.

Will let you know how it goes as soon as we can.

Sorry to announce it this way to many of you who deserved a phone call...but I was a mess yesterday and did my best to do things which were distracting. We took the girls on a shopping spree (you know shopping therapy was a must), had dinner at my folks, went out for ice cream & stayed late to play at my folks.

I know you all are praying and sending good vibes, so allow me to say THANK YOU!!!!! now.

Love, Amy

Wednesday, June 11, 2003 4:32 PM CDT

Well, Savannah is recuperating from pnuemonia! Tomorrow she sees Dr. Hayani, so hopefully she'll get a thumbs-up. I, on the other hand, have come down with something (strep, maybe?) and am on antibiotics now, too. Will this weather ever stay normal so that we are also???

And to update you all on the discipline issue, seems that by using the old positive reinforcement does the trick. If we let them have their favorite food throughout the day, they are happy (take away the Reese's puffs cereal from Savannah or the Reese's peanut butter cups from Jazzy, and they know we mean business about no hitting!). My body is recovering from all the pummeling at last!

Think of us as honor & remember all of our friends who have fought valiantly against the Beast, as our team walks in the Relay for Life this weekend. We will post pictures!

Love, Amy

Monday, June 9, 2003 10:59 AM CDT

First, I have to announce with such pride the newest addition to the Olson side of the family...Lance's sister, Tricia & her husband, Fred welcomed their second baby boy on Friday. We can't wait to give you kisses, Nick!! :)

Second big announcement...Savannah has pneumonia. She was diagnosed on Thursday. She has been resting & taking her medicine, but she is bored with staying in, and I feel bad for her, because it is summer (tho' the weather is still springlike). Savannah has been occupying herself with painting & computer games & movies, but she aches to swim.

I feel very drained lately, and so does Lance. Parents of children who have an illness have such a battle with how to discipline their children. You feel guilty for punishing or setting rules, though you know it's in their best interest for life outside of the illness. Well, Lance & I are experiencing now the repercussions of our leniency. (Savannah & Jasmin, we know have had it rough...so we've given in A LOT.) Anyway, we are having to pick up the pieces, set new rules and stick to them!

This weekend is our Relay for Life. I suppose knowing this coming up is starting to set the waves of emotion in motion. Savannah will be walking the survivors' lap, and she already knows she wants to wear her I Am a Survivor t-shirt which her nurses gave her at her end of chemo party during her first treatment.

Ok...so we'll check in later.

Love, Amy

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

Not much going on with us! Savannah was awful stuffy this morning and had a headache (no fever), so I asked if she wanted to stay home from school to rest...but she said "No Way!" There is too much going on at school! ;)

Say...did you check out the pics from Disney? Lance just added in a new one. He & Jazzy are on a "Star Wars" poster as Luke & Leia!

Looking forward to an AMAZING holiday this weekend...Savannah feels great, the sun is out (tho' where's the hot part?), and we anxiously await the arrival our newest niece/nephew. I swear everytime the phone rings, I hope it's news that Tricia is at the hospital!

Have a safe & fun Memorial Day weekend!

Love, Amy...who is sending out **special hugs** to April.

Friday, May 16, 2003

Savannah's scans came back clear! Beautiful! Thanks for always sending good thoughts, saying prayers and keeping up with our Sweet Savannah.

Hugs,
"Doin' the Happy Dance" Olsons

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Lance has uploaded some Disney pics, so check 'em out!

Savannah has a CT scan of the chest & abdomen tomorrow. Yes, I am stressing. Have had a few dreams. Cry a bit here & there. I keep trying to think good vibes, because hey! The girl already has her 6th birthday party planned. We bought most all the decorations for her Hawaiian Tiki Party last weekend. I know it'll be like this forever...I'll always worry right before scan time.

Savannah is reading now! Each day she reads at least 7 - 8 times to us throughout day. We picked up a bunch of readers from our library, and she loves to read to us. I love seeing her confidence grow & to see how pleased she is when she sees how her efforts pay off!

Well...will post the results of her CT scan as soon as we can. She'll visit her oncologists right after the scan, so we'll know right away. Argh...my stomach is in a knot.

Amy

Saturday, May 10, 2003 7:13 PM CDT

Our family wants to send out a HUGE THANK YOU to Savannah’s elementary school, Meadowview in Woodridge, for organizing and holding a benefit to raise funds for her medical fund. The third graders & kindergartners are involved in a service project together every year, and this year, they decided their project would be to help Savannah! They held a Jump-a-thon on April 26th, and our girls had a great time. Of course, all of their friends were there, and we liked getting to meet some of the teachers we didn’t know…and to see how responsible and respectful the students are at Meadowview.

Savannah had fun jumping rope while Grammy turned the rope for her (Aunt Kissy & I rotated as assistants to Grammy). The day was gorgeous, and we had a blast. Savannah’s friend & classmate, Jack, won two of the raffle prizes, and with his mom’s encouragement, he gave both to Savannah! We decided the six of us (Savannah, Jasmin, Jack, his sister, Tessa, their mom, and myself) would enjoy the Superrosa gift card together and had lunch last week. Savannah invited her best friend, Gaby, to come, too, but Gaby was just having a lousy week with a cold.

Thank to Savannah’s teacher, Mrs. Masek, for all her dedication to the success of their service project. And many thanks to the other teachers and volunteers who gave their energy & time!

Thank you, Meadowview!

Tuesday, May 6, 2003 9:13 AM CDT

Savannah had the greatest time at Disney! We had such a blast, and I can't tell you how uplifting it was to regroup/reconnect as a family again! Jazzy had us smiling the whole time just giving us all lots of love...and Savannah was so grateful for her trip. We went to Magic Kingdom three times and of course we visited Animal Kingdom and MGM Studios (Savannah would love it if ya'll knew that she "bought out the Star Wars gift shop" there!). We spent one day at Seaworld, where we had the pleasure of dining with Shamu. That was the best part of the day!

We also had fun swimming at our resort's pool (and we made lots of friends), and we even spent the day at Typhoon Lagoon water park! Savannah & Jasmin didn't want to leave. Oh, and of course we have to brag at how proud we are of Savannah for venturing out to learn more about how to swim on her own. As many of you know, she HATES getting her face wet. But she learned how to doggie paddle and is practicing the breaststroke (or the froggy swim, as she affectionately refers to it!). We kept telling Jazzy how proud we were of her for sharing her swimming toys with the other kids.

Jazzy returned home with a hair wrap, and Savannah returned home with many gifts for herself & her friends. Of course, Jazzy picked out a few things, but she just isn't a shopper like Miss S. Jasmin is very pleased to show off her hair wrap, so if you get to see her...don't hesitate to comment on it!

Lastly, Lance & I were so overjoyed at the girls' enthusiasm (ok...so we WERE at Disney World!), and every day at least twice a day we told them how well they were behaving (maybe only two scraps!). They were real troopers...thank heavens for the strollers.

Needless to say and yet despite how exhausted we were when we returned, Jazzy & I didn't want to leave. Savannah was ready to come home to Bella.

We will post pics ASAP!

Love, Amy

Tuesday, April 22, 2003 5:23 PM CDT

I should be updating more frequently, because when I log on finally to write you all, I have so much to share!

I am so psyched to report that Savannah is doing just great at school! She has been working so hard at home (without our urging) to catch up, and because of her diligent effort and swiftness in catching up (WOW! she was counting along with the rest of class on day 3 of her return!), Savannah is anxious to learn to read. Lance & I always felt she would be an early reader (her vocabulary at age 1 was pretty large...hey, allow me another opportunity to brag here! It's what I do best!). Anyway, we hadn't pushed her at all; obviously due to the relapse treatment. Well, here she is today, practicing reading to us and loving to write "site words" in the notebook she asked me to buy her one day in Target (and for those of you who know our Shopping Princess, the notebook was ALL she wanted that day!). Dare I say we are bursting with pride at our achiever.

On with the good news, Savannah is still a bit timid around those she doesn't know super well. But, we have been working on branching out in the world. You know, having new playdates and encouraging other relationships (old or new) to flourish.

Seems our days since the return to "normal" are filled with so much going on! Where does the time go? The three of us crashed this afternoon cuddled up on the couch for a long nap. The past few weeks of normalcy took their toll (hey, this is great...we just jumped in too hard!).

Lastly, Savannah has the countdown on for our trip to Disney. We are leaving next Wednesday and are so anxious for the time together!

Thanks for keeping up with Savannah!

Love, The Olsons

Monday, April 7, 2003 3:47 PM CDT

Hi, Friends!

SAVANNAH HAS COMPLETED TREATMENT FOR HER RELAPSE! Our sweet baby graduated on Friday, April 4th with smiles, cheers & hugs!! (Oh, and DONUTS for all completed the celebration, of course!).

We are so proud of Savannah. I don't have to tell you that. The last 8 months have been a ride on the emotional rollercoaster (not something I would wish on anyone), but we did it one day at a time, and we made it. SHE MADE IT!

Savannah RETURNED TO SCHOOL today! I went with her, and spent the day at her class to help ease her nerves. Lance & I hope that by Friday, she won't "need" me anymore. Going to school is a bit rough on her, because she feels less confident in her abilities as a kindergartnerer. She notices what the other students know, and she feels embarrassed because she is behind. Basically, all this means is when they do Calendar and other activities as a GROUP which require singing and counting out loud (AS A GROUP), she notices they know it & she does it. Lance & I remind her they've been doing this together everyday for many months, but she has always wanted to excel in whatever she does, and we can tell her constantly how well she has kept up, but it won't matter to her until she can sing along with her classmates. I imagine by Wednesday or Thursday she'll be clapping along...but until then I will go there to make her feel more comfortable, and Lance & I will continue to reassure her that she is smart & Capable and that we are very, very proud of her.

One thing that Savannah did miss was being the VIP of the week, so when she returned this week, it was her turn. This was neat, because filled out some information about herself over the weekend to present to class. I just love how well she KNOWS herself! You know...it was questions like "what is your favorite food?" A: Pizza. Or Q: Who do you admire? AN: My nurse Jenny. Q: What is your fave animal? A: dolphin. Fun questions like that.

Well, the most special part about VIP is that you are asked to write an autobiography. Lance & I explained what it is to SAvannah, and then we told her we couldn't help her figure out what to write, but we would help her spell the words. Savannah wrote:

"I went to preschool in Downers Grove. I was diagnosed with cancr when I was 3. It relapsed when I was 5. I have beaten cancer twice. I have a three year old sister named Jasmin."

I was really amazed at how she recognizes what a part of her life cancer is. And that she knows what triumphs she has achieved in such a little amount of time. It's not that I want cancer to define her, but I really don't want her to forget how much it has made her who she is today...and who she will be tomorrow.

With never-ending gratitude and Hugs & LOve,
Amy

Friday, March 28, 2003

Pictures from the wedding are on the site now! I am horrible & shrinking images others send me, so please excuse how gigantic they are!

Love, amy

Thursday, March 27, 2003

Heeeeeelooooo!

Lance & I are excited to report so many wonderful things! Savannah had me on the horn this morning making a round of calls to let everyone know about her clinic visit this morning!!!

*Our Miss Savannah's blood counts look GREAT!
*Dr. Salvi loved to see that she gaining weight steadily! (I hope so, considering the girl-who-never-eats has been on a 6+meal a day regimen!)
*Our Sweet L'il Fighter is handling radition like a true champ! She is the best patient ever, and so far her energy hasn't dropped.
*The best news...Dr. Salvi gave us the go-ahead to schedule an appointment with the surgeon to REMOVE HER BROVIAC central line! (Yea...now she can take normal baths and go swimming even!)
*And following up to the best news...we can start to plan our celebration! Dr. Salvi gave us the green light to go on vacation "as soon as she recovers from radiation"!

Celebration, you ask? What celebration? Our family is heading to sunny Florida for our own make-a-wish. Savannah doesn't qualify for a wish to be granted from a wish organization, because she already had one, so Lance & I told her we'd go on vacation when she was all done to her destination of choice. After much deliberation between California & Florida, Savannah picked Disney World...LET THE PLANNING BEGIN!

I can't believe how quickly the last 7 months have gone. Many days I just want the time to slow down, because I feel like I can't savor our days like I want to. Other days, I am so thankful for all we've been given.

Of course, I don't have to tell you that our Flower Girls were gorgeous. They played their roles beautifully. Jasmin, as you may suspect, managed to do her own thing during the wedding ceremony. You know...she walked in-between April & Chris and the Minister while they were exchanging vows. She tramped up to the choir loft, and she eventually decided that the best way to get down from the altar to go back to her pew was to slide down the stairs backwards. I believe many people told me they had a nice view of underwear (thank goodness I dressed in her appropriate panties that day...decorated with pink & red hearts!).

I can't wait to post pictures. We are working on it!

Signing off with a huge smile and truly I am full of love & happiness and gratitude...

Amy

Tuesday, March 18, 2003 8:00 AM CST

Hello everyone,

Its been a while since our last update, but things have been going quite well. Savannah is feeling fine, and is getting along with her normal five year old life. Her appetite has been great, she is eating a lot, and seems to have recovered much of her energy.

We met with the radiation oncologist last week to discuss her radiation therapy. She was scheduled to begin this week, however both Savannah and Jasmin are to be flower girls this weekend in April's wedding so we are putting the treatment off until next week (they will have to mark her chest with a marker, and that is not compatible with her dress). She will have a week of radiation treatments, and the dose is small (about 900 units total).

As always, thank you for your continued support.

Lance

Friday, February 28, 2003 2:05 PM CST

To All of our Favorite Cheerleaders:

Savannah was released yesterday with the BEST news that her scans are CLEAR!!! Yea, SAvannah!

I have to remind you all here that her initial prognosis with the relapse was poor...but she has fought tough (like all of our cancer kids do), and she has fought with brevity & perserverance (did I spell that right?).

I don't have much time to write more, because SAvannah & Jazzy are asking to go outside & play with the weather also looking up, but I have to apologize to my many on-line friends to whom I haven't corresponded with lately. As you've probably guessed, I hit a "funk" (you-know-what-it-is!) for a few weeks. I think I am coming back around...

To all of our friends at Hope: we hope the children we have come to love are released soon...and we thank all her doctors & their staffs for helping Savannah through. You all know how much she loves each of you!

Lastly, please light a candle in honor of our children who fight. We are saying an extra special prayer for our friends the Wisniewskis. Joe lost his battle to leukemia on February 21. He relapsed the same day last March as Savannah did (her relapse scare, remember?). And he fought tough only to relapse again in January.

Again, thank you all for your support.

Love, The Olsons

Wednesday, February 26, 2003 1:05 PM CST

Hello everyone,

A quick update to let everyone know what is happening with Savannah. Well, not much to report actually. Savannah is still inpatient at Hope. We had hoped she would be discharged earlier this week, however she has spiked a few small fevers, so she was put on IV antibiotcs. Also we are awaiting her counts to reach an acceptable level.


Savannah will be having a chest CT done before she comes home, with possible abdomen as well. She will not drink the contrast (I dont really blame her for that), so they will have to place a tube through her nose to administer the contrast. With her counts being so low, they don't really want to have to use the NG tube, so we will wait and see what happens on that front. We all have our fingers crossed for some good news and clean scans.

Savannah is so ready to come home, and Jasmin and I are ready for everyone to be home together. We have bonded over the last few weeks, but I can tell she really misses her mommy and sister.

As always, thanks for your continued support and prayers.

Lance

Monday, February 17, 2003 2:01 PM CST

Dear Friends,

Savannah's transplant was this morning around 10:30a.m. She pulled through like a champ (of course!). This time she didn't react to the preservative like she did last time (vomitting). She took about an hour and half nap, having fallen asleep just in time to see Daddy arrive right before the transplant. Remember they give her Benadryl, and it knocks her out.

Savannah has eaten nachos this afternoon (yes, nachos) and a bag of chips (she is on chips the past few days). I will be stocking our home tonight with nachos for Savannah & mint choc chip ice cream for Jazzy, as they both are "on" new things.

Jazzy had a fantastic time in Springfield this past week. Lance brought her home last night, and we hear Sammy was NOT happy about this. I am going home tonight to see her, and Lance will be staying at the hospital.

Thanks to all of our family & Friends for setting up special playdates & events for Jazzy while we are separated. She is happily playing away her day with Tessa.

I have to run back to Savannah now.

Amy

Friday, February 14, 2003 2:27 PM CST

Hello everyone,

Sorry it has been a while since we have updated the page, but things have been busy and hectic. First of all The Benefit for Savannah was a huge success. We had an awesome turn out, more people than we expected. Savannah and Jasmin had a great time bowling and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.

We would like to thank everyone who attended and donated. I think Savannah was really suprised to see so many people come out and support her in her fight. She knows this is serious business and we feel she was touched by everyones kindness.A special thank you to Meagan, Jana, and Dana for all of thier hard work in planning the benefit. You guys did an AWESOME job.

Savannah was admitted on 02/11/03 to Hope for her second stem cell transplant. She is to have 5 days of high dose chemo (which will end tomorrow), a day of rest on Sunday and then the stem call infusion on 02/17/03. Isolation starts today, so it will probably be 2 weeks before she is discharged.

Thats all for now. Happy Valentines Day to all of my girls Amy, Savannah, and Jazzy. I love you guys.

Lance

Friday, January 31, 2003 at 09:08 AM (CST)

Hello everyone,

Things have been going well as of late. Savannah was discharged from Hope on 01/20/03. She has been feeling well and aside from a few antiboitcs that she has to take, she has few complaints.

We went to see the Princesses on Ice show this week at the United Center, and both Savannah and Jasmin loved the show. It was nice to get out as a family and see both of them having a good time. A bit of normalcy.

Plans for the benefit are going forward and Savannah will be able to attend. She is very excited.


As of now the plan is for Savannah to be admitted on 02/10/03 for her second stem cell transplant.

As always, thanks for you continued support.

The Olsons.

Sunday, January 19, 2003 at 11:04 AM (CST)

Savannah has been asking for the morphine less & less now. In fact, this morning was the first morning since Tuesday that she didn't need it!

Her oncologists are going to run another test to see if she has C-diff. still, because they need to know whether to send her home tomorrow on the antibiotic orally or whether to discontinue it.

THAT'S RIGHT...SAVANNAH IS GOING HOME TOMORROW! SAVANNAH IS GOING HOME TOMORROW! GO, SAVANNAH! GO, SAVANNAH!

Savannah's counts are awful low but are on the rise. We are waiting to find out when she can have visitors, because the poor thing needs some friends to come by!

Savannah has been in the hospital for 20 days.
She has been in isolation for 14 days.
She hasn't been able to have visitors for 10 days.

AND SHE IS GOING HOME!

Make sure to check out the new picture of Grammy & Jazzy at Daytona Beach yesterday. Jazzy celebrated her 3rd birthday at Sea World in Orlando on Friday...HOW COOL IS THAT??? On Thursday they had spent the entire day (of course) at Disney World, and Jazzy took a picture with Mickey! Jasmin & Grammy return home on Tuesday, and I can't wait until we are all together again. ;)

Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 01:16 PM (CST)

Since I am updating Savannah's web site, you may have guessed that Savannah has sent me away from her room! She continues to improve. She played a lot yesterday...asking her few visitors (medical staff) to color with her! She had her nurse Nicole coloring all day yesterday, and she even had Dr. Bert coloring with her, too!
We don't know how much longer she'll be in isolation...her counts are still bottomed out...so she enjoys when the staff can come in her room and spend some time with her (as great as Mommy & Daddy are, she needs a break from us, you know!).

Today Savannah is painting her windows with her nurse, Jen, and they are having a ball. I, of course, had to practically beg to join in the fun. Savannah wanted to reserve it all for just the two of them, but she finally caved and allowed me to color four things. I also had to follow strict coloring directions! ;) She's a hoot.

Thanks to everyone for continuing to check in on us. The raffle tickets for the 50/50 are being printed this weekend. We are selling them at $1 each or 6 for $5. If you are interested, send me an email, and I will forward you the mailing address.

Keep Smiling, Savannah! We love you! You are the BEST!

Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 09:51 AM (CST)

Well, as quickly as Savannah became ill, that's about as quickly as she has rebounded. Last night I updated that she was really crummy, but it seems she hit her turn-around day a bit earlier than expected!

Savannah fell asleep around 7:30p.m. last night and rested soundly throughout the night except for the two, nightly trips to bathroom. She woke this morning at 7:30a.m. -- too early for me! Her spirits have perked up, and she hasn't run a fever since 5a.m. this morning.

I feel so much better than I did last night, and I know she is on her way back up. She has even kicked me out this morning, as she was want to do prior to falling ill with the infection! In fact, there is a chair sitting outside her room in the hall with a sticker on it, "Please save for Savannah's Mom." My special chair for times of banishment! She is playing happily with her nurse as we speak.

Well, I am certain she will crash this afternoon, but hey! She is up!!! This is BIG!

Luv, Amy

Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 08:04 PM (CST)

Savannah has cediff. I don't know if I am spelling this right, but it is an infection which immune-suppressed patients get -- especially transplant patients. She has been on three IV antibiotics since last night, and they have added another to her list. She is also on TPN (Total Parental Nutrition) which is IV nutrition, because she hasn't eaten in days. Blood cultures haven't shown any sign of infection -- which is good.

Her fever is hanging on, but the infection (inflammation of her colon) is easily treatable with the antibiotics. Savannah continues to be bedridden, and because she hasn't had relief of her constant stomach ache since Sunday morning, she is receiving morphine every 4 hours. She is seeming to perk up a bit, tho'. You know Savannah! She tried three times today to "do something," but she was too wiped out. She has been sleeping a lot today, because the morphine makes her sleepy, which is good, because her sleep was so disrupted since Sunday with her tummy ache.

Basically, her stomach pain and her fevers are due to the cediff. Let's see how quickly it will go AWAY!

Tho' Savannah's oncologists prepared us for her being sick this week, this is still tough emotionally. I am so sad for her. I hate this.

We've been talking about what we will do after this transplant and after she is done with treatment totally. Having fun plans perks her up a bit. She wants to be able to go to her fundraiser and to the Disney Princesses on Ice show. And for her wish trip after this is all done...we are heading to California! (So she says now!)

Well, please keep praying that Savannah pulls through quickly!

Amy

Monday, January 13, 2003 at 05:24 PM (CST)

Hello everyone,

A quick update on Savannah. The past 2 days Savannah has not been feeling very well. She stays in bed most of the time, she gets up to go to the bathroom and that is pretty much it.

She has a low grade fever now, and that is not good news as it is a sign of infection. We are waiting to see if they will start her on IV anti biotics. Her blood counts have bottomed out, so it is very hard for her to fend off infections or bad germs.

Up until the past few days she has been doing very well. The doctors are very pleased with her condition and how well she is tolerating the treatment.

Please continue to pray for Savannah and for a quick release from the hospital.

As always , thanks for your support.

The Olsons.

Thursday, January 09, 2003 at 02:36 PM (CST)

Well...Savannah's transplant went smoothly this morning! Dr. Salvi actually performed the infusion. He ran two bags of her stem cells directly into one of the lumins (tubes) from her Broviac line (her double-lumin central line which actually hangs out from her left breast-bone. Her port-a-cath is in her right breast-bone).

Savannah had received Benadryl and a steriod prior to transplant, so she was asleep when Dr. Salvi began the infusion. She woke up right away (not sure if it was from a few extra people in her room, or because she started to feel the infusion). Both Dr. Salvi & Dr. Hayani had told us previously that she could experience nausea, vomitting, fever and chills. She did vomit immediately after the second bag was infused, and then she fell back asleep for about an hour.

Savannah woke up to Daddy's return from the grocery store. He bought her some doughnuts, and she's eaten one! Isn't that great? She hasn't spiked a fever (yet), and her other vitals continue to be normal. We expect her counts to rebound within 10 days...and until then, she will be 1-to-1 with her floor nurse for strict watch over her reaction to the transplant.

I can't say it enough...SHE IS AMAZING!

Lastly, please mark your calendars! Savannah's babysitters Megan Gray & Jana Bendick, along with my next-door neighbor from childhood, Dana Justis Bukala, are planning a fundraiser for Savannah's stem cell transplants. They have planned a bowling party for her on Saturday, FEb 8 from 2 - 4p.m. at the Suburbanite Bowl in Westmont, IL. Pizza...raffle...and lots o' fun, and we are hoping Savannah will be able to attend for awhile! More details to come...

Until then...thank you for your prayers and vigilance! We are so grateful for your support.

Love,
The Olsons

Saturday, January 04, 2003 at 01:23 PM (CST)

Hi!

I've been trying to get on the computer the past two days for an update, but each time I come out to the waiting room, the computer is occupied!!

Jazzy is on her way for a visit, and I expect her any minute now, so I'll be brief...

Chemo is going smoothly. Savannah is doing all her work to keep the bad germs away...and she keeps on smiling!! Thanks for all your prayers and well-wishes. We are still moving just one day at a time (maybe even a bit slower), and I couldn't begin to tell you how proud Lance & I are of Savannah and her will to do this. Of course, she has her moments of "wanting to go home" or "wishing she never had cancer" but if she didn't have those moments...I'd be worried, eh?? Just a bit of normalcy...

Anyway, that's all for now!

Love, Amy

Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 09:08 PM (CST)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Savannah's infection LOOKS & FEELS much better! Dr. Hayani is aiming for Thursday to start chemo. We're all a bit relieved that the infection is clearing up...just overnight!

Savannah had a great day today. We played & crafted plus a family friend, Jana, visited (Savannah & Jazzy will be her flower girls in her wedding next November. She is engaged to my mom's best friend's son...). Jana brought some gifts including some sparkling grape juice. We toasted a lot today. And tonight we celebrated the New Year with a yummy dinner from Leona's and LOTS more sparkling grape juice, as Daddy brought in two bottles. We've gone thru 4 bottles! Grammy & Gramps came down with dinner and cake, and we enjoyed their visit so much! Savannah has been all smiles since they arrived, and I can't believe how quickly the evening has gone by...each time I see her smile, my heart soars.

Happy New Year!

Love, The Olsons

Monday, December 30, 2002 at 07:39 PM (CST)

Well, Savannah was admitted at 9:00a.m. this morning. She had an awful nice break from Hope (10 days!), and we enjoyed spending Sat. night with my dad, while my mom is at my grandmother's tending to her & her other bad knee! Sunday I cleaned the house, washed EVERYTHING we planned to bring with us for stem cell (sterile & clean environment is a priority!), and packed, packed, packed. Lance took Savannah out to "spend" a gift card and for lunch at Savannah's favorite cafe (she "doesn't like fast food anymore!"). So, she did a lot during those 10 days, and hopefully we made up for all the time she will spend in-patient. (OK...so we could never completely make up for it!)

Jazzy & Savannah's sitter, Megan, came over last night to visit and help us pack for admission. They painted their nails and played McDonald's. And this morning she returned bright & early (7:00a.m....too early for the Olsons!) to help us out. Megan came with us to the hospital and stayed all day. I hope she knows how much she helped calm our nerves!

Savannah had been such a wreck herself yesterday between the time she returned from her "date with Daddy" and the time Megan came over. She was unusually hyper and often told us how she wished she "never had cancer." Of course, we concurred but told her we couldn't think that way...we had to keep fighting. With a beaming smile, she responded and reminded me of how she told Dr. Salvi she would beat it! The fight was back on! Hurray, Savannah!

Today has been touch & go. She is already ready to come home, and I had to once again remind her that this was only day 1 of a probable 30 day stay (ok...so they told us about 3 weeks...but you always have to tag on a buffer. As her nurse put it, it's much better to go home earlier than expected than to be let down & have to stay later than you planned!). I told her we had to buckle down...we cuddled a bit, and she seemed better.

The hard part is that we've pretty much already lost our buffer zone, and we've been here for only 12 hours. Savannah was to start her first day of seven days of chemo today. On Monday, January 6, her oncologists were to infuse her stem cells. However, her broviac line (central line or "tubies") are severly infected. She had started an oral antibiotic last Friday after I had noticed the infection, but it seems worse today, and Dr. Salvi said she shouldn't have been so tender. She is oozing so much! Dr. Salvi discontinued the oral antibiotic, and he is starting her on IV antibiotics, and once the infection is cleared up, they will start chemo. We don't know how long this will be...it is a "wait & see" game.

Savannah's counts will drop dramatically from this hard-hitting chemo, and she will be in isolation as soon as it drops. So until then, she can roam about the floor and visit the playroom. The biggest risk with the stem cell transplant is infection, so of course we want the broviac cleared up before this all starts! This whole bit is so scary. My nerves are frazzled, but Lance brought me a coffee maker for her room so that at least I can drink good coffee (the hospital's is awful).

Please continue to pray for Savannah. Cancer stinks!

Amy

Sunday, December 29, 2002 at 10:29 AM (CST)

Happy New Year! We hope everyone had a lovely Christmas. Savannah and Jazzy sure did! We went sledding a bit, enjoyed a party...and I even was treated by Nana & Bossy to an evening of indulgence (a massage and pedicure at their fave salon). Lance & I were able to get out with some friends...and Jazzy & Savannah had the best time with cousin Sam!

Tomorrow SAvannah will be admitted for stem cell transplant. She will be in-patient for at least three weeks and most of it will be spent in isolation. Many people have been asking what they can do for Savannah other than pray! Savannah cannot receive any live plants (fruits...flowers...etc.,), but if you would like to send something, Lance & I would like to suggest a gift card to Michael's (we visit there often during in-patient stays). She blows through her crafts from there like crazy, and she loves to do them! If you would like to make some other type of donation, Lance & I are in the process of setting up an account for her where you can send your donation directly to her bank. This should be done by the end of this week, hopefully. Most importantly, we hope that you will continue to pray for her.

Please feel free to call us at the hospital. All of her hospital information is listed on this page. Thanks for all you do!

Love, Amy

Sunday, December 15, 2002 at 09:40 PM (CST)

We are home from our weekend. Savannah had so much fun! We had a pizza party (family!) at Aunt Tricia's on Friday night with lots of playing, singing and dancing. Just ask Savannah what kind of dancer her Uncle Fred is! ;) Of course, Sam was SO happy to see Jazzy & Savannah -- it was priceless!

All the girls (there were 9 of us!) went to see a local performance of "The Christmas Story" on Saturday night. Savannah had a great time, and now she wants to keep watching the movie...so "Life as a House" and "Attack of the Clones" are on the backburner. The weekend was just what Savannah needed. (She didn't want to come home!)

Savannah has clinic early tomorrow morning, and I think she'll receive a platelet transfusion, because of all the bruises which popped up over the weekend. And if she is transfused, at least she'll get a nap in!

Hope everyone is enjoying the spirit of the holidays...

Amy

Friday, December 13, 2002 at 11:00 AM (CST)

Hi!

Savannah is doing great!!! She had a platelet transfusion yesterday morning in clinic. We arrived around 8:00a.m. and didn't get home until about 12:30p.m. It was a long day for Savannah, but her white blood count was up, so we spent some time at the mall afterward (probably not a completely smart thing to do...but she needed to get out of the house and go somewhere other than the hospital!). Anyway, Savannah slept for most of the morning in clinic...she is given a steriod and Benadryl about an hour before her transfusion to avoid reaction from the donor platelets, and she always is knocked out within 5 minutes from the Benadryl! ;)

We return to clinic on Monday morning to see how her platelet count is doing...the expectation is she will need another transfusion.

On a "spirit of giving" side note, we've been contacted by a car club in the south suburbs which would like to make Savannah the recepient of their annual charity this year! They hold a car show in the summer in Darien and funds raised usually go towards a children's wish organization, but this year they've decided to give to a single recipient. A member of our church actually referred Savannah to this car club, and so our church will be involved as well. We are so excited that Savannah has been asked!

And lastly...but most importantly...a special thanks to the Pickering Family for all of their support.

Lots of love...we are off to Springfield this weekend for a get-away! A MUCH needed get-away!

Love, Amy

Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 03:29 PM (CST)

Savannah's fever is gone! And...she is feeling much better. Today's clinic visit went fine, except that Savannah has to return on Thursday (rather than Friday) for a platelet transfusion -- she had two last week! The only good thing I can say about going so much is that she loves it there. ;)

Hope you all are getting ready for the holidays. I'm still trying to figure out where 2002 has gone!

Amy

Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 09:35 PM (CST)

Hi Everyone,

I tried to update last night, but Jazzy somehow managed to delete my entry...and I was too tired to re-write it. Savannah was actually released Friday night, and she was able to attend the Oncology Dept.'s holiday party. I didn't think she'd be able to go, because her counts were still bottomed out, but she asked Dr. Salvi if she could go "if she wore her mask"! She had the best time, and so did Jazzy. Most all of their friends were there, so they were happy.

Savannah started a low-grade fever last night, and she is complaining again, like she did in the hospital this past week, that her throat hurts. Her glands are visibly swollen, so after paging Dr. Hayani twice this weekend, he decided to start her on another antibiotic at home. Lance and I are constantly monitoring her fever, as it is gradually going up. We hope that she makes it through the night without it spiking.

Keep up your prayers and good thoughts for our Little Miss S.

Amy

Friday, December 06, 2002 at 07:42 AM (CST)

Hello everyone,


A quick update. Savannah is currently at Hope, she spiked a fever on Tuesday and was admitted. She wasn't feeling very well at all, and was even complaining of a sore throat. They are giving her IV antibiotics and keeping an eye on her. As of yesterday, she is fever free and feeling better.

However, now she is having some problems with her central line. Nothing serious, the area around the line is really irritatted. Its red, raw, and looks to be very painful. They changed her dressing last night, and have decided to keep it open (covered with gauze and tape) for a few days to let her skin heal, before covering it up again. Also her counts are still very low. So we thought she would she would be discharged today, but it looks like she may be at Hope through the weekend.

On a more festive note, it looks like the stem cell transplant will not take place until after the Holidays, which is great news.

Thanks for your continued support,

Lance and Family

Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 10:17 PM (CST)

Many parents of children with cancer will tell you that one of the most important parts of treatment is who is treating your child. The staff at the hospitals becomes part of your extended family...and often you pray that your child will bond with someone on the hospital staff...and when you see it happen, then you encourage it. The caring is just as crucial as the drugs.

I told you earlier about Savannah's fondness for one of the residents at Hope (a major milestone in Savannah's acceptance of the relapse...she generally talks or responds only to certain nurses (and she is quite selective of the nurses...those with whom she will readily accept into her life.) So, as a parent you encourage any sort of bonding between your child and the medical staff. because the hospital is a second home, and many children are reared without knowing that most homes exist without hospitals as part of the daily routine. Well, here we are...a few select bonds formed, which brings me to the only reason I am posting tonight. Please see the new picture uploaded, which is of Savannah and her all-time FAVORITE nurse, Jenny.

I wish everyone of you could meet Jenny. I don't know how it happened...I don't know if she has such an amazing bond with all the cancer patients (I've seen in her action...and she is meant to care for kids). But, whatever it is, Savannah is her number one fan. Without Jenny, I don't know how we'd have made it through Savannah's first treatment, her bowel obstruction, her first "relapse" and now this one. We LOVE you, Jenny!

So check out their picture from the Make A Difference Halloween Party. Thank you, Jenny, for all you do. (And if you are reading this...including the "cups of coffee"!!!)

LOVE,
Lance, Amy, SAvannah & Jasmin

Monday, November 25, 2002 at 02:49 PM (CST)

Savannah seems to be recovering well from this round of chemotherapy. I am surprised at the amount of energy she has...she has been playing and spent today at Grammy & Gramps'. Generally, she is on the couch for three days following her treatment.

We were discharged from the hospital a bit later yesterday than expected, as Savannah's central line showed signs of infection. Luckily, she didn't have a fever, so she was sent home with an antibiotic. (Oh...and by the way, for quite awhile now, Savannah takes her medicine agreeably! We are so proud of that!)

Amy

Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 02:37 PM (CST)

Savannah was admitted on Friday for chemotherapy. This stay was rather uneventful (which is a blessing). Savannah has become rather fond of one the residents, who loves to visit her and has nicknamed her "Ernie". Not quite a befitting nick-name, but it's a sweet story. When he first met her, he told her Savannah is a lovely name, but she told him she didn't like it. So he asked what he should call her. She just smiled but wouldn't answer (those of you know her, would have thought she'd have said "Sarah"). Since she wouldn't answer, he asked if he could call her Bob or Ernie. She still didn't say anything -- just giggled. Well, Ernie seemed to stick, and Savannah refers to him as "Dr. Bert" when he isn't around. Savannah won't necessarily talk to him, but she sure loves the extra-special attention!!!

Jazzy has enjoyed visiting Savannah at the hospital, too. Lance & I crack up at how she knows her way around. She knows which buttons to press on the elevator and where to go for all the different treats! She loves having her vitals checked when Savannah is having hers checked, and she thinks it's pretty cool to go for rides on Savannah's hospital bed. Having her involved in Savannah's in-patient stays & clinic visits has really helped in her coping process with Savannah's treatment.

Well, we are getting ready for Savannah to be discharged. Savannah hopes to be feeling better this week from chemo than she usually does post-treatment, because her kindergarten class is celebrating Thanksgiving on Tuesday, and she hopes to go. (Generally the four days following chemo are tough on her.)

That's about all for now.

Amy

Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 08:27 AM (CST)

Well, Savannah & Jasmin saw "The Santa Clause 2" and loved it. They keep asking me when it is coming out on video, so they can buy it for home!

Savannah was to be admitted for chemo on Tuesday, but her platelet count was too low, so her chemo has been delayed. We weren't surprised her chemo was delayed (in fact, I didn't even pack for admission), because she was starting to really bruise the few days prior to Tuesday's clinic visit. She goes in tomorrow for count check again, and should her counts be up, then we'll be admitted for chemo.

Savannah has enjoyed her few days off, and though I really don't care for delay in chemo, the break was needed. Savannah went to school yesterday! And we are getting ready to go again this morning. So life has been about as normal as it can be for families with childhood cancer!

Amy

Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 09:43 AM (CST)

Savannah is home! She was released yesterday afternoon, and boy, Jasmin was so elated to see her! Jasmin ran to her for a hug, and she gave Savannah a little backrub and asked if she was feeling better.

Now the two are dancing away to their "Lizzie McGuire" CD, and I feel life is so goooood, because this is how it is supposed to be.

Our next adventure is to get Savannah's counts back up so we can go see "The Santa Clause 2." Savannah will go into the hospital next Tuesday for chemo, and then she'll have her stem cell transplants (Dr. Salvi & Dr. Hayani are thinking she'll have two) right around the holidays. She'll be in isolation for about 6 weeks (that could change, of course). So, keeping all that in mind, we'll continue to make each day at home the best we can. I don't know why that would change though, because as a parent, that's your job, isn't it...making the best of each day????

Keep on rallying! And Thanks for Signing her Guestbook! We LOVE to read your posts.

The Olsons with the "Dancing Feet"

Monday, November 11, 2002 at 01:39 PM (CST)

I don't know how or where to start, because I am walking around with my head in the clouds...

Savannah had her CT scan this morning at 9:00a.m. I stumbled with weak knees along side her, trying to comfort her fear of having an IV inserted for the contrast and trying to calm myself to be steady for her scans. As soon as we entered the imaging center holding room, we received our second good news of the day, Savannah wouldn't need an IV, because the tech could use her Broviac line for the contrast. Yea! No owwwwies! Savannah just responded with a smile...

Our first good news of the day was that Savannah had made it through the night without spiking a fever. She had fallen asleep after taking a dose of Tylenol for the slight fever she was still hanging on to late last night.

But the real good news of the day was when Dr. Hayani came in only 2 hours after her CT scan was complete. I was relieved in a way to see him, because I didn't know how my nerves would handle waiting for the scan results until his usual rounds-time (4:00 - 5:00pm). Of course, the relief was easily taken over by trepidation & those cruel "what-ifs". Dr. Hayani generally won't reveal the results from any scans until the end of his exam with Savannah...but this time he let Savannah and I know right away that her scans looked BEAUTIFUL! Savannah beamed, and I screamed!!! I nearly jumped over Savannah's bed to hug Dr. Hayani, but I restrained myself. He told Savannah that it was because of her hard work and that she did it! I told Dr. Hayani he "made my day...no, wait my year!" He took me to see her scans, and he's right...the scan is beautiful. You can't see the tumor. WAY TO GO, SAVANNAH!

Savannah reminded me that she "told Dr. Salvi she would beat the cancer." I said, "You're right! You KEPT your promise!" (Keeping promises is our thing, you know.) Lance & I and her family let Savannah know how proud we are of her. She knows what the results of the scan means, and I have to tell you that this girl is no kidder. While Lance & I are considering the two options for the remainder of her treatment, Savannah has had her say. I must tell you that she has chosen the tougher of the two roads...the path Dr. Hayani has suggested...and though both paths show Savannah being hospitalized for Christmas, our Savannah responded, "That's ok! Don't you think Santa can bring my presents here? Don't you think I can celebrate here?" Of course you can! (Personally, I know we'll make the best of the situation, and this isn't an issue anyway, because her scan is BEAUTIFUL!)

Oh...2002 is looking up. And 2003 just might be the year of the Olsons!

Hugs and good vibes and many thanks to God, our Hope team, and our faithful supporters,
Lance, Amy, Miss S, and Jazz

Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 01:35 PM (CST)

You know the old adage: "Tomorrow is another day" ?? It's true! The venting session I had in my entry last night seemed to help a bit, but mostly it's because Savannah is being admitted for fever. We are leaving for the hospital now...

Will let you know how she does.

Hugs to everyone...

Amy

Saturday, November 09, 2002 at 07:20 PM (CST)

Savannah's week was relatively normal. She had a long playdate on Thursday, as she & Jasmin spent the day with her classmate Jack & his younger sister, Tessa. I couldn't believe how nicely they all played together! I had to laugh, though, because Jack got our own PRINCESS to play dinosaurs & Star Wars! Guess what movie the girls & Lance are watching now? Yep, Star Wars!

On Friday, Savannah had clinic (she goes twice / week), and her counts have bottomed out, so we are on house arrest. Well, she is isolation, but I like to call it house arrest! She & Jazzy are having fun, at least. Tonight they played camp-out, and I overheard Savannah taking Jazzy to get her jammies on. That's our Savannah...always wanting to help Jasmin & take care of her. Did you know that Savannah truly helped Jasmin learn so many things like crawling & walking?

The past few days have been tough on me emotionally. Though Savannah had another night of tutoring on Friday where she worked so hard (she is learning to read!) and though she is playing a bit more than usual when her counts are low, I can't help but be a stressball. This is not fun. Your child having cancer is nothing like your child having strep or the flu. It isn't. You see the daily reminders are gut-wrenching. Savannah is bald. Savannah is gaunt. Savannah is railthin (she's lost at least 5lbs since diagnosis). Savannah lasts for about 15 minutes and then needs breaks on the couch. She needs a lot of holding, and I can't stop with the kisses. I feel like I can't get enough of her.and then I look at Jasmin and wonder what is going on in that impish two-year old mind. When I was pregnant with Savannah, many people asked the usual question if I was hoping the baby would be a boy or girl. My response was that I honestly didn't care, but I just wanted a healthy baby. I'm going to sound like a martyr here...and it's not my intention...but did you know that while I was pregnant with her I never drank caffeine except for one can of pepsi, I stayed away from sweets and fat & grease...no chips...no french fries...because I wanted to do what was best for the baby. For her. What happened? and why should a child who is so determined in all that she does have to endure the pain of cancer? I don't understand, and I know we aren't meant to, but that doesn't soften the bitter pain.

I don't think its fair for her. I keep wondering why does this have to be her childhood. Why am I so bitter and why does she continue to find the fun & beauty in life? I'm learning a lot from her, but I still think the cards dealt are lousy. I heard a saying last night, and if you were up late watching "While You Were Out," then you heard it, too:

I don't play the cards I want. I play the cards I'm dealt.

Trying to keep reminding myself of this. Trying to stay upbeat to keep Savannah chugging along as she has. It's so hard, though. It's so hard to have to say no to her for anything...because you are so d#*m afraid. But I have to, because if we all kept indulging her every wish & whim, we'd be telling her that there is something to worry about.

She hasn't brought up anymore questions on death lately, which is good. That tells me 1)she accepted my answers & our two conversations went well (phew) and 2)she hasn't been thinking about it as much. How lousy that a 5-year old feels the need to question her own mortality. That is garbage (ok...would have rather used an expletive).

Savannah is excited about the holidays, and I am just hoping her counts are ok so she can enjoy Thanksgiving. She keeps asking what we are doing, but we won't really know until closer to then. I just hope she isn't in the hospital like last year.

I know this wasn't the most uplifting journal entry, but somedays you get tired of lifting up other's spirits and you just need to get out the hurt inside. I vent often enough to my good friends who are cancer parents, but I thought you guys might want to know, too, that we aren't necessarily always giggles & smiles here.

Please say two prayers tonight for two children who need you. One is our Savannah...as always...and the other is our friend, Cameron, who was treated for Wilms' Tumor, too. Cameron lives in Missouri, and his mom has been an amazing support to me. Cameron & his parents sent Savannah the matching purple hat & purse she posed with in one of the pictures we posted on-line recently. Savannah's favorite story of late is how Cam's mom had him try on the hat to see if it was the right fit, since the two are close in age! Savannah thinks it's a riot that HE had to try on her GIRLIE hat! We've just learned that Cam was diagnosed with diabetes I on Thursday. We are sending hugs & hugs.

Amy

Monday, November 04, 2002 at 01:03 PM (CST)

Since I last posted, we've been busy. I realized I should really post when Lowri's emailed me this week to say hi and tell me that she hadn't quite figured me out yet...do no postings mean we are too busy having fun or too busy dealing with garbage. I told her that she did figure me out! No new entries could mean either!! I suppose that isn't really fair to many of you who only know about Savannah's daily condition through our journal entries.

Savannah was in-patient last week for chemotherapy. She actually tolerated this round very well. She didn't sleep through it like before, and I found we were so busy at the hospital doing FUN things! We made crafts, we played board games and we went to TWO Halloween parties. One of the Halloween parties was put on by Make A Wish for the oncology patients. That was fun, because SAvannah was able to see all of her friends while she was in-patient. The other party was an in-patient party put on by Hearts for Hope. They had a magician and the patients went trick-or-treating throughout the halls. I, of course, cried.

Savannah was then released later that afternoon on Halloween, and we went home to trick-or0-treat with our neighbors. I didn't think SAvannah would feel up to it, but she was a power trick-or-treater!

Savannah did go to her Make A Difference day Halloween party at Pepper Construction. The party was awesome! The children entered in raffle prizes, ate lots of food (burgers, cotton candy, popcorn & ice cream), were face-painted, painted pumpkins & won prizes for playing games!

We have posted pictures of SAvannah in her costumes. Yes, costumes. She was the Holiday Belle for the Make A Difference Day Halloween Party, and she was Sleeping Beauty for Hearts for Hope in-patient Halloween Party and for trick-or-treating. What can I say...her sister wore two costumes, too! Jasmin was a witch for the Make A Difference party, and she was Snow White for trick-or-treating. That's our girls.

Since Savannah's release, we've been sick around here. Savannah was sick from chemo, and then Jasmin had the flu. Savannah caught the flu, and now I have it! I'm not sure if Lance's superior immune system escaped it, as he said he was a bit off this morning himself.

Savannah's next CT scan is November 12. Please say your prayers that the pictures are beautiful. This is still so scary for us all. Go get 'em, Savannah!

Saying a special prayer for our friend, Amber, who is in ICU after her operation. Amber had Wilm's Tumor as a child, and now as an adult, her body is rejecting her liver transplant.

Enjoy the new pictures!

Our love, The Olsons

Friday, October 25, 2002 at 07:57 AM (CDT)

Savannah is feeling much better this week, except for this morning she woke up so stuffy! She did have to have a platelet transfusion on Tuesday, and today we go into clinic to check on her counts again. Savannah's scheduled for chemo again next week (she'll go in on Tuesday).

Savannah and Jazzy's Aunt Tricia and cuz Sam came to visit for a couple of days. We had so much fun! Of course, it never fails, whenever the three of them get together, one of them gets injured. Usually, it's Sam, but this time was Jasmin's turn. She hurt herself climbing out of Sam's pack-n-play (her first, and, I believe, her last attempt). And then when we went out for lunch, as she climbed out of her chair, she slipped & slammed her head into the corner of the table. Her eye is black & blue. Needless to say, we spent yesterday afternoon in the pediatrician's office. But don't worry, our spunky Jazzy is doing fine this morning.

Savannah's teacher, Mrs. Masek, came by for a visit last night, and she & Savannah had a nice time. Mrs. Masek invited Savannah to come to school this morning for a little visit. (Her classmates miss her so much!) Savannah said she'd come, but this morning she was no desire to go. She won't tell me much other than she never wanted to go, and she never liked school. Lance & I talked, and we know this is not her, so we still have this issue to manage. Savannah needs to be comfortable with anything in her own time, and we know this, but it is so strange for her to say she does not like school. I believe it is part of coping with the cancer.

I have to go. The girls are beckoning!

(Oh, please say a prayer tonight that Savannah will go to the Halloween Party which Pepper Construction is holding for the oncology kids tomorrow. She has a beautiful costume, and we know she'll have a blast, but who knows with her. One minute she wants to go and the next she screams she'll never have anything to do with Halloween -- which is one of her favorite holidays!)

Amy

Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 09:12 AM (CDT)

A special message for Savannah's Uncle Brad who passed away a year ago today. A poem for all who loved him...

If I be the first of us to die,
Let grief not blacken long your sky.
Be bold yet modest in your grieving.
There is a change but not a leaving.
For just as death is part of life,
The dead live on forever in the living.
And all the gathered riches of our journey,
The moments shared, the mysteries explored,
The steady layering of intimacy stored,
The things that made us laugh or weep or sing,
The joy of sunlit snow or first unfurling of the spring,
The wordless language of look and touch,
The knowing,
Each giving and each taking,
These are not flowers that fade,
Nor trees that fall and crumble,
Nor are they stone,
For even stone cannot the wind and rain withstand
And mighty mountain peaks in time reduce to sand.
What we were, we are.
What we had, we have.
A conjoined past imperishably present.
So when you walk in the woods where once we walked together
And scan in vain the dappled bank beside you for my shadow
Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across the land,
And spotting something, reach by habit for my hand,
And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you,
Be still.
Close your eyes.
Breathe.
Listen for my footfall in your heart.
I am not gone but merely walk within you.


(I don't know who wrote this but read it on another child's web site and thought it to be lovely.)

Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 01:25 PM (CDT)

Well, the past two days have been better for Savannah. Though she is house-bound, we are happy to report she has been off the couch playing! Aunt Timi sent Savannah a Disney Princess game, and Lance & I have lost count at how many times we've played since Friday night. Just another one of those things...if it makes her happy, then it makes us happy. (We both had to say no to playing a couple of times, because we did have to get dinner on the table, as Jazzy was already in meltdown mode. However, neither of us felt too guilty about it, because we'd only played about 25 games between the two of us!)

Savannah wants to wish her Great-Grandmother a Happy Birthday!

Thursday, October 17, 2002 at 08:28 AM (CDT)

Hi Family & Friends,

The past week has been a bit better. Savannah still fights a bit with her medicine, but she is coming around. We don't have to chase her around for an hour anymore!

School is a different story, and it breaks my heart to tell you that Savannah has missed every day this week. Of course Monday school was closed for the holiday, but she missed Tuesday for clinic. She didn't go yesterday, because she felt too sick. (She did stay in bed all day.) And this morning, I thought she'd go, but she's still in bed, and she woke up two hours ago. Savannah will miss tomorrow, because the kindergartners have a field trip to Johannsen Farm, and she can't be around all those germs. (Luckily, she wasn't disappointed but just asked if we'd take her when she could be around them. I don't think I could handle another tear this week, so I'm thankful she wasn't visibly upset!). Truthfully, tho', Savannah is extremely constipated...so I don't blame her for feeling crummy. I won't get into details, but at last the med is working. (According to Savannah just now, "I guess poopin' medicine & the popcorn did help.")

The good news is she is eating! Her breakfasts are huge (a pancake or two) while her lunch is nothing, but dinner is alright. Lance & I will take anything! We all know what a poor eater she is.

Tomorrow Lance's office is holding a Childhood Cancer Blood Drive in Savannah's name. They also will be selling gold ribbons. Thank you so much to Cathy and all those who are helping her! You know what I say: Donate Blood! We hope the drive is successful!

That's all for now. I have to resume to my duties. (My day is broken down by: holding SAvannah, chasing Jasmin, holding Jasmin, getting Jasmin to nap, holding Savannah, chasing Jasmin, holding Savannah, holding Savannah)

Amy

Thursday, October 17, 2002 at 08:28 AM (CDT)

Hi Family & Friends,

The past week has been a bit better. Savannah still fights a bit with her medicine, but she is coming around. We don't have to chase her around for an hour anymore!

School is a different story, and it breaks my heart to tell you that Savannah has missed every day this week. Of course Monday school was closed for the holiday, but she missed Tuesday for clinic. She didn't go yesterday, because she felt too sick. (She did stay in bed all day.) And this morning, I thought she'd go, but she's still in bed, and she woke up two hours ago. Savannah will miss tomorrow, because the kindergartners have a field trip to Johannsen Farm, and she can't be around all those germs. (Luckily, she wasn't disappointed but just asked if we'd take her when she could be around them. I don't think I could handle another tear this week, so I'm thankful she wasn't visibly upset!). Truthfully, tho', Savannah is extremely constipated...so I don't blame her for feeling crummy. I won't get into details, but at last the med is working. (According to Savannah just now, "I guess poopin' medicine & the popcorn did help.")

The good news is she is eating! Her breakfasts are huge (a pancake or two) while her lunch is nothing, but dinner is alright. Lance & I will take anything! We all know what a poor eater she is.

Tomorrow Lance's office is holding a Childhood Cancer Blood Drive in Savannah's name. They also will be selling gold ribbons. Thank you so much to Cathy and all those who are helping her! You know what I say: Donate Blood! We hope the drive is successful!

That's all for now. I have to resume to my duties. (My day is broken down by: holding SAvannah, chasing Jasmin, holding Jasmin, getting Jasmin to nap, holding Savannah, chasing Jasmin, holding Savannah, holding Savannah)

Amy

Tuesday, October 08, 2002 at 10:41 AM (CDT)

Savannah was released from Hope on 10/05/02 and was able to attend the Burgoo festivus in Cantrall. Needless to say everyone was thrilled to see her, and she had fun for the few hours that she was able to be there.

On Sunday we had a visit from a home health nurse who instructed us on how to take care of Savannahs new line and also administer the Nuepogen. The process is quite easy and it keeps us from having to give Savannah injections. It is a welcome change.

Savannh was able to attend school this week (Monday and today). She was very apprehensive about going. We were sure it was due to her hair, but she ended up telling us it was because of her tubes. I assured her that no one knows about the tubes and that her friends just want to see her. We convinced her to go. Amy actually went to class with her and read a book to the class (Kathys Hats). The book is about a young girl who goes through chemo therapy. I am sure that helped. When Amy left the room, she said that Savannah was doing fine. All of the kids were very happy to see her.

We have had some troubles getting Savannah motivated to take her meds and go to school. We must tell you that this is the hardest thing we, as a family, have ever had to deal with. We struggle with the balance of discipline, medicine, school, love and just being a kid. It is soo hard. There are things which we cannot bend on with Savannah (medicine) and things which we can make deals with, but walking that line is so very tough. I hope everyone can understand what I am saying here. Savannah has fought us and continues to fight us on a lot of issues. It is not fun at all. I understand her point(she was happy, healthy loving life and school, and now she is bald, sick,and has 2 tubes in her chest), but at the same time there are things that we MUST do to battle and continue battling.It is so hard to find that line between parent, friend and bad guy. There are times when I feel horrible with what we have to do, but at the same time I know we must do whatever it takes to keep Savannh healthy. It is not easy.

Savannah will be admitted to Hope today for her second round of chemo. It should be a 3 day stay. We will let everyone know how it goes.

Thanks to everyone for their continued support.

Lance

Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 04:43 PM (CDT)

Savannah's surgery went fine yesterday...we always sweat those out. She is resting today with the help of medication. It takes a lot to keep her comfortable, so she generally is in & out on the second and third days following surgery. So far she is managing with dosage every two hours, and we haven't had to call in the Pain Management Team for a pump, as we have in the past.

Lance is down here to stay with Savannah tonight. She is Daddy's girl the past few days. I think she must have called him four times before he showed up yesterday morning for her surgery. And when she woke up this morning and from her afternoon nap, she asked both times when would Daddy be here. For once, she has no reservations that I go home to spend some time with Jasmin. Generally, she would balk at this idea and let me know that I must love Jazzy more than her (of course, she knows this isn't true...and I know she doesn't really feel this...her way of telling me she is mad).

Savannah's been receiving lots of cards and gifts, and she delights in hearing "You have mail" when Daddy shows up! Her latest toy she is "on" is Barbie Rapunzel. Within the past two weeks, she has completed the collection...save one Kelly doll. She loves mail!

Jasmin came back yesterday, and she all she wants is her sister! "I want my sister. Where is my sister?" I glow at their bond, but it pains me to have to keep them apart. Jasmin understands so much, but she just doesn't know why she can't even lay in bed with her. Savannah is in isolation still. And Dr. Salvi is still playing her schedule by ear...hopefully she will start harvesting tomorrow, but it looks more like Friday...and if that isn't possible (because her counts are rockbottom), then he may send her home for the weekend. I haven't mentioned this to her, because we never know what will change, and she knows we don't make promises we can't keep!

Thanks to all of you who "counseled" and rooted me on the past two days. You know who you are, and you know how much I hurt. Thanks so much...Today was a new day.

Our love,
The Olsons

Monday, September 30, 2002 at 07:35 PM (CDT)

We love reading Savannah's guestbook! She likes to hear what everyone writes. Right now she is battling a bit of emotional turmoil with one of her major obstacles to overcome is how disruptive this has been to her life. She misses her friends and her school terribly, and Grammy was happy to report to her this evening about the messages from her school. It's strange how different this treatment is compared to last...aside from the prognosis being that much poorer, she has grown a ton in 18 months. She knows now what she is missing out on...she misses her family---especially Jazzy---she misses going to Nana, Papa and Bossy's, and she misses Bella. She doesn't think it's fair she is in here rather than OUT THERE...well, who doesn't??? The past two days have been another rollercoaster of emotions for her...

,,,But the times she is happy are amazing. She loves to play science with the syringes (no needles, of course) and water or play doctor with bandages, gloves & syringes and anything else she can find in her room. She is now playing campout party on the floor in her room. Lance brought down my mat so I could do Pilates, and she is camped out on it now!!! Her room is decorated with picture after picture, and she has painted terracotta pots, birdhouses and rocking horses. We should purchase stock in Michaels!!!

Anyway, her surgery was postponed until tomorrow. She was happy about that. She had two transfusions yesterday, and we expect stem cell harvesting won't start until at least Thursday now, because her counts still haven't recovered.

Jazzy returns home tomorrow from her trip to Springfield. She was adamant on Saturday that she "go to Papa's now!" when she woke up Saturday morning. We are excited to see her, and Savannah will be thrilled to have Nana and Bossy stop in for a visit. Savannah's still in isolation, and we are restricting visitations to immediate family only (well, the hospital and her oncs discourage visits, too).

I think that's all. I have been lengthy in my journals lately...therapy, I guess. Please continue to write to Savannah, and go donate blood! ;)

Our love, The Olsons

Saturday, September 28, 2002 at 06:25 PM (CDT)

Savannah asked if I would update her site to let you all know that her hair is nearly gone. It began falling out lightly last night, but today it is coming out in clumps.
I asked her RN this morning if any of the staff could cut hair, because we know from past experience if she waits much longer to get the length cut, she will be miserable from itching. ONe of the nurses' cousins owns a salon close by, and she is coming by at 9:00a.m. tomorrow to cut Savannah's hair and give her a pedicure and manicure. Savannah is so excited about her "Princess-for-a-Day" tomorrow. She isn't too upset about losing her hair. Naturally, she is disappointed, because she was trying to let it grow long past her shoulders, but she said she'd love to buy more hats!!! (She still fits into some of her hats since her first treatment.)

Savannah is feeling much better, by the way. I knew she was better, because when she woke up this morning at 7:00a.m., the first words out of her mouth were, "Mom, let's color!" And then an hour later, she rolled her IV pole over to the closet, pulled out some clothes, and walked herself & her IV pole to the bathroom to change --all turning down any assistance I offered. She tends to be one to stay in her jammies when she is feeling lousy, and she had been jammy-fied since Wednesday.

TREATMENT UPDATE: Savannah will be in-patient until Thursday, at least. She is to have her second, central line inserted on Monday. And based on her blood counts, she will hopefully start stem cell harvesting on Tuesday. I don't know how much longer she will be in isolation here at Hope. (She is in isolation, because she can't fight off anything.)

We are thinking of our many friends tonight who are participating in "Light the Night" for leukemia research.

Thanks for all those who support Savannah's medical fund by purchasing the gold ribbons!!! Finally, I just ask that if you want to email me privately, please email me at amyeolson@cs.com. I have to go to another floor to access my Yahoo! account, and I hate to do that...not being lazy, just hate being off the floor which Savannah is on merely to check in on my email. Just a silly li'l mommy-thing.

Amy

Friday, September 27, 2002 at 06:43 PM (CDT)

Ok, so I know I updated already (earlier today), but we have AWESOME, AWESOME, AWESOME news!!! I think I mentioned that her oncs ordered the CT scan to look for possible bowel obstruction again due to her stomache pains, distention, poor appetite, and constipation (sorry, Savannah...you have no privacy, do you, honey?). What is really going on is that she has lots of gas. Poor thing. Oh...to rejoice in your child being in pain from gas is just another example of what a two-faced monster we are dealing with! We are thanking Heaven it is only gas! She will be receiving meds to alleviate that.

GREAT NEWS: The chest portion of the CT scan shows the tumor has SHRUNK! Yes! Dr. Hayani guesstimates it's shrunk 25% - 30%. We did the happy dance!!!!!!!!! Savannah just gleamed...knowing what good news we received.

She will be in-patient for awhile longer. Plans are to get her counts up and then to start stem cell harvesting, as long as those counts climb back up.

Thanks for your support & prayers! Please feel free to leave a message for Savannah! She loves to hear what you write! ;)

Amy

Friday, September 27, 2002 at 01:56 PM (CDT)

Savannah is still in-patient. The past few days have been so bizarre. It is Friday, and really, Monday seems like it was eons ago.

Savannah was readily admitted on Wednesday, and her fever was tough to keep down. It wasn't until yesterday afternoon that we were able to stop with the Tylenol. She has had an elevated temp, but I've decided to quit with the Tylenol to see how she does. Hasn't gone above 100F. Good.

Due to her tummy-ache complaints and a distended tummy at that, Dr. Hayani ordered a CT scan yesterday. Of course, we waited forever to be called down (Savannah kept asking me, when is my CT scan?), so we didn't get the results yesterday. We won't see Dr. Hayani until late this afternoon, so we are sitting on pins & needles to hear the results. (Is her tummy ok? and Has that stinking tumor shrunk? No more tumors appear?) Oh! Savannah woke this morning with a much more "normal" looking tummy, so we are banking on good news.

Savannah's platelet count is 14, and normal is in the 200 - 300s. She will receive a platelet transfusion around dinner time.

Jasmin is doing just fine. We hope to visit with her a bit today! They miss each other, but that's a given, eh?

Still sending lots of love and hugs across the miles to Tim, Harri, Roosje & Liam and all those who loved Lowri. Illinois weeps with you...

Will post when we know more...Until then, go donate blood!

Hugs, Amy

Wednesday, September 25, 2002 at 02:04 PM (CDT)

This week has been a week of highs and lows...just like them all. Sunday was the anniversary of Paige White, so we lit a candle in her honor. That day I couldn't shake a strange feeling, and when I woke up on Monday, Lance called me from work to say that our dear friend, Lowri, was now a lovely angel. Monday was a hard day. We send our love and support to Lowri's parents, siblings and family.

Now for the ups: Savannah had the best time for our get-away weekend! Bear Necessities was so generous in granting Savannah's wish...we stayed at the Sheraton, and we ate lots! We took the girls to the Museum of Science & Industry Saturday morning...and the rest of the day was spent at the American Girl store. Of course, the American Girl Place was a hit. Lance finally could see why we make semi-annual trips down there! Jasmin and Savannah loaded up on presents easily wearing out Bear Necessities budget (ok...so Lance & I contributed as well!). Jasmin added the Twins to her Bitty Baby collection plus she has her own Coconut puppy so she won't take SAvannah's anymore. Savannah picked out a new doll which she named Megan, and she came home with three new outfits and matching accessories.

Sunday we decided to visit Lincoln Park Zoo, but we didn't stay for but an hour, because Savannah didn't feel well. The past few days have been bumpy. She feels great all day until about 2:30, when she hits a wall (ok...so who doesn't?). She naps each day and is ready for bed that night. Today she woke, and I knew it was going to be a hard day. Though Savannah felt crummy, she went to school because it is a half-day today (that's only one hour for the kindergartners). She looked like she needs blood. I called her oncologist while she was at school just to go over her recent lethargy and complaints, he said to bring her in tomorrow rather than Friday.

As it turns out, we now are waiting to hear from the hospital for a room. She has a fever and will have to be admitted and given antibiotics. Let's hope this is a quick stay! Jasmin is not too happy at all about this, while Savannah is alright with it...she's been in bed since school let out anyway!

Oops...gotta go...her room is ready.

Love, Amy

Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 06:47 PM (CDT)

I don't have much time to update, but I have so mcuh to share!

GOOD NEWS: Savannah returned to school today (yes, you read that right)!!! She was so happy to be back, and her classmates were delighted to have her back! So many told her hello, when she arrived, and Mrs. Macek (her teacher) did tell us that the students were happy she was back. Ah, how we love good news. (She can keep going as long as she doesn't become sick continually...we will play it all by ear...). Her school is responsive to her needs and is going to send out a reminder for parents (24-hour fever free and green means sickness!), plus they feel her mental attitude is just as important as her treatment (sound like me???). God had a plan for us when we were house-hunting!

TRIP NEWS: Our original trip was to go on another Disney Cruise! However, due to her blood counts dropping, Dr. Salvi asked if we wait until her counts start to rise. We have to get this in soon, tho', because Savannah should be getting a Broviac line (a central line which actually hangs out of her chest) for her stem cell harvesting. So, instead, we have decided to go to Chicago for the weekend, and Bear Necessities is going to grant her this wish!!! We have plans to visit Lincoln Park Zoo, The American Girl Place (of course!!), Navy Pier & its Children Museum. We all agree it will make a beautiful memory plus pick up our spirits. Savannah is thrilled to say the least!!!

Savannah's spirits continue to hold at her good ol' self. She giggles...she does silly things...and she is keeping us on the run! Yesterday we went to the Brookfield Zoo (she didn't want to leave), and today we went to the mall. I don't know how many more times we can hit the mall, since her oncs have always warned to stay away from the mall and all its germs (I say...what about school???).

Have to go...

Love, Amy

Monday, September 16, 2002 at 07:56 AM (CDT)

Savannah is smiling and playing and happy. She really enjoyed her visits this weekend with Nana & Bossy, and she got a kick out of Jasmin's visits, too!

They say art is therapeutic...and let me tell you Savannah is doing her share! She's drawing hearts & rainbows & ladybugs & smiling suns...does that give a clue as to how she feels????

We are still working on our trip. I will post it tomorrow...we have some exciting work in action, but we are still waiting on a couple of "go-aheads" from others, so I don't want to say where we are planning to go until it is final!

Lastly, Savannah is so at home here. She is ready to go back to her real home, of course. But she finds strength and encouragement from so many at the Hope team, and I just can't imagine her being anywhere else.

Keep praying...call...sign her guestbook! Let Savannah feel your assurance & encouragement, too!!!! :) And we always could use your prayers...

Love,
Amy

Sunday, September 15, 2002 at 01:01 AM (CDT)

Savannah is feeling alright after her first round of chemotherapy. (We are still exploring options but are currently going with her onc's & National Wilms Tumor Study advised course of treatment.) She has been smiling and eating. She told me she will fight hard, and I know she will. I think she knows this is serious business, and she knows she has to fight, but she is not angry or sad. Several things have happened which lead us to know she is alright...

Whereas Savannah and I always slept together while she is in-patient, she has requested to sleep in her hospital bed by herself this entire time. Of course, this is actually good, because we know she feels safe. On the other hand, I was sad not to have extra cuddle time, but I completely respect her wishes (and I am relieved she is not scared).

When we mentioned to Savannah that she may lose her hair again, she made smiled & made a goofy face, and said "Whaa, I was trying to let it grow out!" And then she returned to her activity at the time. No biggie to her.

And, lastly, as I've mentioned previously, Savannah doesn't remember any of her past treatment.

Savannah is really doing alright here. This place is familiar to her, and she is receiving the best care. We were welcomed back by practically every employee for each shift...you know, they are delighted to see her, but no one is pleased to see her under these circumstances. I believe the support here at Hope as well as from friends & Family combined with prayer will be one of the key factors in her success at beating this battle. One of the other ones is for Lance & I to continue to show through our actions that we have hope.

This doesn't mean that Lance & I aren't complete wrecks. Ah, but we are! Here I am at 1:00a.m. writing. You don't want to go to sleep for fear of your dreams plus you've had a good day and don't want it to end. Then after you go to sleep, you don't want to wake up, because you realize you really didn't have a nightmare...but are living one. Ok, so this is depressing, but I want you to know that we show Savannah laughter as much as possible and that we have the energy to beat this, yet we ache so badly on the inside.

I'll move on...

Savannah & I had registered for Gold Ribbons Days in Wash DC at end of September and had our plane tickets. (September is childhood cancer awareness month -- how cruelly ironic.) We were going to go to set-up the quilts and enjoy ourselves. However, her counts will plummet exactly during that time. So, in light of that, Lance & I are talking about taking the girls away next weekend. Just the four of us. We plan to leave late Friday night and stay until Sunday night. We are working on where to go...

Lance & I want her to enjoy each day as much as possible. I don't want to have any regrets (tall order, I know), and I want to carry around as little guilt as possible (another tall order). I've found the past two days have been alright...I can't tell you how many times we've played the boardgames Disney Edition of Sorry and Pretty, Pretty Princess, but this I can do for her. We can give her the best out of the day, and we will.

Jasmin has been at Grammy & Gramps. She is doing alright, but we miss her. Grammy brought her by for nearly 5 hours yesterday. You should've seen Jazzy's eyes light up when Grammy opened the door to Savannah's room and they first walked in! She was so good here. The members from Hearts for Hope (the philanthropic board I am on which supports the hospital) have been amazing. One of them came by and took Jasmin out for lunch so that she could play with her daughter and so Grammy could have some quiet time with Savannah. (Jazzy was very good during her visit, but she is two and can find things to get into!) Jazzy had a lot of fun. She was delighted to see Nana & Bossy arrive and is back at home tonight with them & Lance. I hope to take her by myself tomorrow for a few hours.

Oh, I wrote a novel here...

Continue to prayer for Savannah Elizabeth who wants to beat this because she has too many other things to do! :)

Friday, September 13, 2002 at 07:08 PM (CDT)

Dr. Hayani confirmed the final biopsy results with us late this afternoon. How do I say this? Savannah's cancer has returned. It has not spread outside the lesion in her right lung. I don't want to go into any details regarding treatment at this time...her oncs have explained to us what they want to do, but we must know all of her options.

We have an uphill battle, but we still have hope. And prayer is a powerful thing...

Please feel free to contact us at Hope if you want. Our most important thing (other than her healing) is time together. We are sad, but we are keeping it under control so that we enjoy every moment we can. When she feels good, you have to enjoy it. The number to Hope is 708-425-8000. Savannah is room 4028, and we do welcome your calls. If we follow the treatment that her oncs want to do here at Hope, then Savannah will be here until MOnday or Tuesday. Chemo is to start tomorrow.

She is beautiful, and she is happy. She doesn't remember any of the bad of her last treatment, and though she wants to be at home, she mostly associates the hospital with "presents, the playroom and arts & crafts."

Love, Amy

Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 02:43 PM (CDT)

Savannah has recovered from the CT guided needle biopsy this morning. The morning went so smoothly, and though Savannah showed jitters & nerves (unusual for her), she handled the scary situation like a true fighter. She currently is being monitored here at Hope.

This morning has not been easy on any of us...nerves...fears...exhaustion...anxiety...anxiety. No matter how hard you try to be strong, our emotions are true to us, and you can't always lie about them or push them to the side.

We should learn news of the biopsy tomorrow. As we wait, we ask that you continue to pray for healing for Savannah. All she wants is to return to school!!

Will update when we know more...thanks for all of you who have stuck in there and kept vigilant support.

Amy

Monday, September 09, 2002 at 10:28 AM (CDT)

The FunWalk was so great! Savannah was one of the lead patient walkers, and I could tell she felt so special...The sun was out, and Savannah had so many supporters. Nana, Grammy, Aunt Bossy, Aunt Tricia, Aunt Krissy, Sam, Jazzy, April & Chris, and April's dad plus Savannah's kindergarten teacher!

If you've had a chance to read Tim's, Lowri's dad, message in Savannah's guestbook, you'll see that he talks about Lowri's favorite color and flowers. The story goes that Savannah wanted to sign Lowri's guestbook on Saturday, so I told her she had to say something not just type her name. So Savannah wanted to know Lowri's favorite color and flowers. How did I guess Lowri would say pink??? Of course...I didn't think she'd have a qualifier to it!!! :)

Hugs to Lowri. Visit her site at http://202.27.199.59/timvdw/index.htm

Thanks for all the love & support...
Amy

Friday, September 06, 2002 at 04:05 PM (CDT)

Well, the results are in.

And that stinkin horrible sucker is still there. No change in size. Just still there. Oncologists & radiologists believe their are many possibilities on what this could be (fungal infections to name one), yet their opinions do weigh on the side of infection. Onc. told me that had this been the only CT scan recently, then they would conclude malignant recurrence. But after I moaned over hearing that, he assured me he wasn't saying it is recurrence. I suppose he is preparing us for anything...even recurrence.

Yuck. This sucks.

Our next step? Rule out TB...and the scheduled needle biopsy set for Thursday...prayers...prayers...prayers...and lots of hugs & kisses.

Oh, d*#n it hurts!!!! I am so sad that she keeps having to go back to the hospital. (Ok...so I'm holding onto that as Lance says, this isn't the best news, but it's not the worst.)

And to my mom...I'm so sorry this came on your birthday. I love you so much, and I don't know what to say except this is crummy, and I hate to see you hurting.

I know I sound so pessimistic...but what it is is that I am so sad Savannah has to go to the hospital again. CT scans are hard...everything is hard for her...she has been poked a lot in the last few weeks. Well, anyone who wants to write with any suggestions, please feel free. We welcome not only your prayers but truly your advice & thoughts.

Amy

Monday, September 02, 2002 at 07:58 AM (CDT)

Sorry that I didn't update right away! We have so much going on around here!!!

First, Savannah's chest x-ray on Thursday still shows this lesion. Her oncologists still believe it is an infection, and so does the ped surgeon. The lesion is misshapen (I've seen the scans, and it looks like a puzzle piece), as opposed to most malignant tumors, which are perfectly round (like the one in March). It has different levels of gray throughout, while a mal. tumor would have same color gray throughout it. And it shows a pinkening on the lining of the lung, which is usually not evident with mal. tumors. However, mal. tumors can take on a misshapen shape. She presents no other symptoms of cancer-- no pain, no fever.

Well, I am still weak in the knees, because they want her to have a CT scan on Thursday. If the lesion still shows up, then the next step is surgery. Yes, surgery. After all this questioning and watching this lesion, I have no doubt at all about the steps we took in March. Many were confused at why we jumped into surgery, and I don't know if I've ever explained it, but I'll take the time to explain now. Seems like a good time to do so.

I know we've said the mass in March showed on the chest x-ray and CT scan to be a typical, textbook lung met. No question in all the 6 doctors minds who reviewed the scans prior to surgery. (Compare to how they monitor the last weeks with this mass.) They all have been doing this for at least 20 years and see lung mets routinely (unfortunately). Second, Wilms' Tumor relapse moves so darn fast there is no time to watch to see if the met grows or changes. No time! Most children who relapse (with Wilms, I'm speaking) have more than just one lesion (within a week one turns into two or three). It spreads soooo fast. The relapse protocol is difficult to qualify for, because the cancer can't have metstazied all over. Does that make sense? After that, there really isn't much...two or three clinical trials, which at this point prolong life...It stinks!!!

With that said, I hope you understand why we didn't wait around to watch the lung met. And it was so scary, because we knew then that relapse Wilms' was an uphill battle. especially for unfavorable Wilms' (humph). So here we are today, watching this thing...so don't you think it HAS to be infectious???

Well, her oncologist put her back on antibiotic (augmentin, this time). So hopefully that sucker won't show up on the CT scan this Thursday. If it does, and if they tell us it is time for surgery again, we've decided we will send her scans to another hospital just for review. One of her oncologist studied under one of the leading researchers for Wilms', and we have faith in both of her oncologists (we LOVE Hope!!!), but a couple of extra sets of eyes won't hurt. We'd stay at Hope...the treatment for relapse for Savannah's stage doesn't change wherever you go...but IT WON'T COME TO THIS!!!! I believe...I believe...I believe...

Argh...did I go into too much detail?? Half the time I do that, I reread my journal entry and delete half of it!!! This time...I don't think I will. I feel it is important to talk about this.

Are you giving blood by the way? (Lance is...I keep getting sent home!!!)

So...you are all wondering, too, how Savannah likes kindergarten? Or do I have to tell you that she loves it! She is so happy there, and I just get misty whenever I think about how happy she is. She has made a couple of friends, Brook and Gaby. I haven't met Brook but have come to know Gaby quite well. Gaby is a lot like Savannah, and Mrs. Masek (their teacher) tells us they work and play well together. Savannah is two days younger than Gaby, they both love art, and their favorite name is the same...Sarah! Plus they both are shy but so enthusiastic.

Gaby's mom took them to the park on Friday, and Gaby invited Savannah to come over after school on Tuesday. Savannah was so nervous about making friends and meeting Gaby on the first day really helped her ease into that transition. Next time you see her, I hope she'll tell you all about kindergarten, because she is so animated about it!

Lance took the girls to Springfield for the holiday weekend, because I had my Pilates mat certification this weekend. I passed! Yea! (It was NOT that easy, folks!) So now I am officially certified to teach a beg/inter. mat class anywhere...which feels so good, because for once I didn't just talk about doing it but did it! I hear they are having a fantastic weekend (of course!!!), and Sam was so thrilled to have them back again. Tricia tells me that he doesn't like anyone holding Jasmin...he wants her with him!!! Isn't that so sweet? Their relationship with family has always been so important, so I just love how close they are. I miss Lance & the girls but am glad they were able to get away for awhile...

Jasmin has been doing ok with Savannah going to school. She is usually really ready to go pick up Savannah, and every morning she gives her a hug or kiss goodbye for the day. Jazzy keeps pretending she is going to school, so against my selfish feelings (did I mention this already???), we have signed Jazzy up for first steps to preschool. She starts end of September and keeps asking me when she goes to school!!! I am glad that we did it, though I wish I could keep my baby with me at home...but she is ready, and once she is ready to do something, I can't stop her. She wants to do all that her big sis can do, and I know this.

I guess I've written a novel here. Lots to catch up on, eh??

Hope you all had a lovely holiday. Keep praying for Savannah and all her friends who battle cancer.

Love,
Amy

Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 01:55 PM (CDT)

I should let you all know what has been going on this week. Savannah fell ill about 10 days ago with a stuffed-up nose, and then two days later, she developed a croup-like cough. Jasmin and visiting Samuel fell sick, too. However, Savannah's cough must have ten times worse than Jasmin's, and she would wake up in the morning with lungs that sounded to be just filled. After three mornings of this, I worried about pneumonia. So I called Dr. Hayani to see if I could move up her scheduled, follow-up chest x-ray and clinic visit from Friday, Aug 23rd to that morning (Monday, Aug. 19). The chest x-ray showed a spot, which was devastating but not surprising, since we had taken her in to make sure she didn't have pneumonia.

Dr. Hayani told me the shadow could be pneumonia or tumor. He prescribed the 5-day med Zithromax, which is considered the best at treating pneumonia. And we scheduled a CT scan of the chest & abdomen for Fri, Aug 23rd. Lance & I and family (we kept the news of this questionable shadow within the family) felt it was pneumonia...but it still frightened the you-know-what out of us.

Dr. Hayani just called about 15 minutes with the results of Savannah's scan, and the shadow does appear on the CT scan, even after she finished her antibiotic prior. The Lord certainly has touched her, though...and many of you who know me know that I can have faltering faith...because the shadow looks to be more infectious!!!! Savannah will return to clinic on Thursday to visit with Dr. Hayani, and she will have another chest x-ray. Should the shadow be present again, then in a week or two, she will have another CT scan.

Keep the prayers coming!! And thanks for all the times you have included Savannah in your daily thoughts & prayers!!!!

Love,
Lance & Amy "We are doing the happy dance" Olsons

Saturday, August 24, 2002 at 08:35 PM (CDT)

We are still waiting to hear from Dr. Hayani with the results from Savannah's scans. I didn't sleep at all last night, so hopefully I will tonight! My gut tells me she is alright...but with so many children with Wilm's relapsing, you begin to question. I keep repeating to myself "I have faith...the Lord has touched her...I have faith..."

Please continue to pray for Lowri who is losing her fight a bit more each day to unfavorable Wilm's. Her web site is http://202.27.199.59/timvdw/index.htm

Also, do you remember when I wrote about the campaign for the Children's Cancer Awareness postal stamp? The stamp is up for approval this October!!!! Did you ever pause a moment to send a letter to the approval committee? If not, please visit the official campaign web site! www.kidscancerstamp.org

The site has a link to a letter template. It only will take you five minutes to tweak, print and mail!!!

Love, amy

Friday, August 23, 2002 at 06:18 PM (CDT)

Dear Family, Friends & New Visitors,

Savannah had a CT scan of her chest and abdomen today. We will find out the results tomorrow and will update as quickly as possible. CT scans of the abdomen are always hard on Savannah, but she was a trooper once again. She refused to drink the contrast, so the nurses had to put an ng tube down her nose into her stomache, and then they syringed the contrast down. Savannah never complains except when she sees the ng tube, and then she doesn't hold back. I hate seeing her so distraught, but it was better than having to force her to drink that horrible-tasting contrast. She did surprisingly well when the did her IV...she didn't have her EMLA cream on which numbs the skin. And she barely twinged.

Check back to see how she is doing...but in the meantime, oh , please, say a prayer that her little body is incredibly healthy. She's to start kindergarten on Monday.

Amy

Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 05:32 PM (CDT)

Hey Friends,

Thanks for checking back in with us! Savannah is doing fantastic and so is Miss Jazzy!

Savannah is excited to obtain pledges for the Fun Walk. I wasn't going to even suggest to her to do it, but she asked me what is all was about, and when I explained it to her, she asked if she could do it, too! We have a little philanthropist on our hands! How wonderful...

I hope you enjoy the pictures from the Downers Grove Relay for Life in June. Savannah & Jazzy are pictured with Jana, who is 2002 graduate of Downers Grove North HS, a good friend of their babysitter, Megan, and an oncology patient at Hope! Savannah & Jana led the survivor lap with the survivor banner...and yes, Savannah's handprint is on it!!! Jasmin & Savannah love Jana so much, and I hope we get to see her a lot this year, as she is staying around home to attend college.

Don't forget about the upcoming events for Hearts for Hope. This is the board I belong to which raises funds for the hospital. The events are a great time, and we'd love to see you there!

Sept 3rd - Holes for Hope Golf Outing in Naperville, IL
Sept 8th - Hearts for Hope Fun Walk in Oak Lawn IL
Oct 26 - Hearts for Hope Annual Halloween Ball in Willowbrook IL

Please email me for more information!

Love, Amy

Saturday, August 10, 2002 at 11:17 PM (CDT)

Where has the summer gone???? Savannah has had such an amazing summer!!! I remember in March, thinking to myself what a rotten summer we were in for and how she needed this summer. But she is a miracle, and here are we! Having done so many things...

Today Savannah "took" Jasmin, Lance & I to a carnival just for the oncology patients at Hope, and we had a fabulous time. The girls had their three favorite "rides" plus were face-painted, and we had lots to eat! I thought we'd leave after two hours, but we were there for nearly four! And of course, we are going to The Wiggles concert this week, too. Have to get in "the end of the summer" hurrah!

Savannah has been counting down the weeks to kindergarten. I, on the other hand, become choked up when I think of her starting school! My sweet baby is off to school!

Before I sign off, I wanted to post the upcoming events for fundraising at Hope:

September 3rd: Holes for Hope golf outing in Naperville IL
September 8th: Hearts for Hope 1 Mile Funwalk (and 10K run) in Oak Lawn IL (I am co-chairing the Fun Walk portion of this event...so come out and join us!)
October 26 - Hearts for HOpe Halloween Ball

Please contact me for more information! We'd love you to come out and join us.

Most importantly, please say a prayer for our dear friend, Lowri. She was diagnosed with unfavorable Wilm's in December 2001. In March, she relapsed, and now she is in palliative care. Please remember them in your prayers tonight. Lowri is a darling fairy princess...

Amy

Check back for updated pics of SAvannah from her Relay for Life in Downers Grove in June. They are developed (I know...I know...I am slow!!!)...and they should be posted in the next day or two.

Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 03:36 PM (CDT)

I wanted to thank you all for continuing to support Savannah and our family. We have been trying to spend time this summer together...kinda regrouping from all of the pain over the last year & half.

The summer has been very good to us, as we have been relunctant to fill it with anything other than visits to the park and swimming pool and playdates OUTSIDE with Bella nipping at the kids' heels. A few of our weekends are like any other summer...filled with get togethers...but mostly we are taking it easy. This past Spring, I had many ask me what I planned for the girls this summer -- for which classes would we sign them up? My response was quick...none! This is our summer to be together...not to see if our day would outrun us (as it was apt to do during the school season and during treatment).

I suppose, then, telling you that Jasmin is on cloud 9 is a given. She just relishes having all this time with us, and she follows Savannah everywhere. (Maybe it isn't so good all the time together...will Jasmin experience separation anxiety again once kindergarten starts up?)

Our favorite activity of late is viewing our photo albums. Like Grammy says, some pictures are awfully painful to see...Savannah white as a ghost but still bursting through the picture with her smile. A Winner's Smile. And other pictures make us giggle...remember Jazzy's spikey hair? And to see their first tub together...to recall the day we brought each home from the hospital...to see so many good times...and to be so d#@n proud of what you have.

I can't write much more...I'm tearing my own heart out!!!

I just wanted to say thanks...Each of you deserve so much recognition...and if you could see me now, I'm standing up and applauding each of you for being there for us and never backing down.

Lastly, Savannah's next scan will be a chest xray around mid-August. Then 6 weeks after that she will have another CT scan. She won't have her port out for at least another year. Maybe you'll say a prayer tonight that all she need it for will be to access for blood draws. Please prayer for all the children fighting disease...

Love,
Amy

Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 12:38 PM (CDT)

Hello,

Savannah had an abdominal ultra sound, chest x-ray, and chest CT yesterday. They all came back clean. Everything looks good for now.


Check out the new pictures on the photo page.

Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 09:58 PM (CDT)

Dear Friends,

Savannah's ballet/tap recital on June 22 and June 23 was awesome! Did you know that one of her teachers is dating Lexi's cousin??? Oh what a small world! The night before the recital, Lexi's aunt and her cousin, and Miss Janice (Savannah's ballet teacher) walked in the Relay for Life in Savannah's name. They had walked in Tinley Park for Lexi just two weeks prior. Savannah walked the survivor's lap in Downers Grove, and she helped Jana (her babysitter's friend who is currently undergoing treatment at Hope) carry the survivor's banner. I took a ton of pictures, but I haven't developed them yet (surprise, surprise). Please check back in the next two days for pictures.

Savannah was such a doll at her recital! We were so incredibly proud of her! She told us she was going to keep going, after seeing the older girls receive trophies (at the 5yr & 10yr mark)!! Have pictures from that, too...but won't have them posted for another day or two, as well!

Lastly, Savannah celebrated her FIFTH birthday on June 27th! She and three friends went to Club Libby Lu to have their hair styled, their nails & make-up done, and to dress up and perform a song. It was so awesome. Then we headed out for pizza, and two of the girls opted to spend the night. It was great, and Savannah was in heaven being the "birthday girl." She loved all of her awesome gifts and was delighted to spend the day her way and to be 5 at last (I said, hey what's the rush!).

Next scans will be around July 12th. CT and ultrasound...yes, I just feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. Until then...we fill the days with sunshine, swimming and friends.

Happy Fourth of July to all!

Our love, the Olsons

Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 08:15 AM (CDT)

Savannah's scan was clear! Hooray! Saturday (june 8th) we celebrated that plus her one-year anniversary off treatment (June 8th, 2001) at the Springfield's Relay for Life. Nana, Aunt Bossy, Lance, Jazzy, Sam, Savannah & I were all exhausted, and the weather was hot, but we stuck it out for about 3 hours to enjoy a reception, to visit some of the team camps, and to participate in the survivor lap. And of course, Savannah and Jasmin purchased some stuff from the Relay for Life store!

Savannah received a survivor medal with a 2002 pin. Each year she returns, she receives another pin. I wish many of you could see how proud she is of this medal...she tells her friends and family about it....letting them know "it is very special." Savannah nearly backed out of the walk, because she was hot and tired; however, we convinced to hang in there another 15 minutes...and we were all so glad that she stuck it out. She marched through the lap with such dignity and pride! I was able to walk with her, and I don't have to tell you that the tears just flowed. I expected emotion, but the experience was so lovely...so overwhelming...and so unforgettable. We all were torn up...unbelievable at how far she has come in the year since going off treatment. And we remembered friends and family who were recently diagnosed or are still fighting or who lost their battle.

Savannah had two lumineres purchased in her name. We took several pictures of her at the Relay and even of those lumineres...I wish we could have seen them lit.

Many hugs and thanks to Gayle for arranging Savannah's registration for the survivor lap. And many thanks for donating your time and effort...I know you do this so lovingly for many people...for your father...and our gratitude for making Savannah feel so much a part of it all.

Savannah had such a magnificent time that she wants to have her own team in a Relay for Life, so we are hoping to pull a team together in Springfield next year. This year we are still working on a team for the Downers Grove Relay for Life. She already has two teams walking in her name, but she'd really dig her family & friends entering a team for her...

We will post pictures as soon as possible from the Relay for Life.

Love, Amy

Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 10:58 AM (CDT)

Hello!

The past few weeks have been busy around here...

Around the time of Savannah's relapse scare, she began asking for a puppy. Lance & I agreed, as we felt she shouldn't be denied anything, because the next year was going to be a long, uphill battle. Having promised Savannah this, we couldn't deny her a puppy once we discovered she didn't need treatment. So we told her she could get one for her birthday. This allowed her a couple more months to mature plus allowed the weather to improve a bit (making training a bit more pleasant!).

The past few weeks we have been busy preparing the girls for a new puppy. We had visited a breeder, and in addition, Aunt Krissy has a new Cocker puppy, Gracie. Gracie was our little guinea pig, and with her help and patience, Savannah & Jasmin became acclimated to puppies...how to care for them, how to treat them and how to play with them!

Needless to say, Savannah at last decided against her first choice, a West Highland Terrier, and chose to have a Cocker...Lance & I both having grown up with them were delighted! This week we found a breeder who had puppies ready to go...so we all loaded up in the car for an hour and half drive to meet the new Cockers and to just see.

Immediately, a female bonded with all of us...and after visiting for an hour with all six puppies, we couldn't leave without her! Savannah diligently selected the name Bella for her, and she has fit into our home perfectly since the moment we put her in our car to come home!!! Check out our new pictures! And in fact, Grammy & Gramps loved her so much during their first visit with her that they decided to go back and get one, too!

Savannah has a routine CT scan on Friday, June 7. June 8 will be her one-year anniversary for going off-treatment. I fear I will be a wreck the next few days. Savannah will be participating in the survivor lap at the Springfield Relay for Life on June 8th, and I can't think of a more momentous occasion designed to celebrate her one-year anniversary of going OFF TREATMENT.

Check out our belle along with her Bella in the new photos!

Congrats again to Stu & Cynthia...one week of wedded bliss????

And happy birthday to Aunt Tricia...you are an adult now, lady!!!

And lastly, we are thinking of you Aunt Rachel as you undergo surgery....

And to all our of friends & family...we love you all for the last year & half of devotion and support!

Love, Amy

Friday, May 17, 2002 at 02:06 PM (CDT)

Hello, Friends!

Hope everyone is keeping warm! The weather here has been crummy, which is so awful, because the girls are itching to be outside all the time. Of course, they had a taste of it a few days this week...so to tell them no just instigates an argument. I have allowed them to don their rainboots and coats to go outside and jump in the puddles and play in the rain! (Don't worry...no lightning...) They enjoy it, and then I avoid a fight. So, needless to say, we have found a way around the rainy, cold weather.

Savannah's last day of preschool was yesterday. She received her diploma, and of course I was emotional when I came to pick her up. Her teachers are amazing, and they praised how much she has progressed since September! I don't know where time has gone...I really don't. Doesn't seem possible that 5 years ago Lance & I were preparing to move from our Wrigleyville flat to Naperville. So much has changed, and we have so much to be thankful for... Yes, Savannah was sad that preschool is over, but she is so enthusiastic about kindergarten. A part of her has a tough time knowing she won't have any friends from preschool with her...but she understands that she will meet new friends and try new things.

We did learn that Savannah's picture will be published in one of Ty's Beanie magazines. This should happen in September, which will be a busy month for us...new school...new friends...her picture being published...plus we have several events going on then, too. Hearts for Hope has a golf outing in Naperville the Tuesday after Labor Day. Our new friends, Amy & Jim Wenz are responsible for the function! All proceeds raised will go to the new Cancer Center at Hope. Amy & Jim's son, Jacob, is being treated at Hope for leukemia, and we are getting to know them through Hearts for Hope, as they just were approved to be members!

Amy brought Jacob and his twin brother, Zach, over this morning for a playdate. The twins are just about three months older than Jazzy, and the four children had such a fantastic time together! Zach loved the attention from Jazzy, and she loved having a friend HER age over to play with her. Jake & Savannah bonded by showing off their port-a-caths to each other. The twins are so sweet, and Amy & I are looking forward to more playdates together this summer.

Also in September, Savannah & I are going to attend the Gold Ribbon Days for Childrens Cancer Awareness. We were asked to volunteer to be the lead coordinator for the quilt display! Essentially we are the liasions between the Foundation for the Children's Oncology Group, Childrens Cancer Awareness Projects (the quilt group) and the state quilt coordinators! This is really exciting for me...and Savannah wants to go to D.C. this year...she vividly remembers what happened last year...why we couldn't go. So she is ready!

Have you checked out our new pictures? They have been up for less than a month, but I forgot to mention that we have new ones. These were taken the day before Savannah's surgery in March. What two beauties Lance & I have!!!

Much love to all---
Amy

Monday, May 13, 2002 at 09:12 PM (CDT)

We're just checking in to say hello to everyone.

Savannah is doing fine. This is her last week of pre-school! I can't believe she will be 5 yrs old next month...and starting kindergarten in the Fall. Tho'....somedays she seems so much older, and it seems she's been with us forever, and then other days, I look at her and see how little she still is.

Savannah has been really exerting her independence lately. My mom reminds me that she had to be dependent on us for too long... and you know she became ill just about the time she was doing so much for herself and then she couldn't do it for herself any longer. Picking our battles!!!! Plus I believe that she is just now fully recovered from her last surgery. She told me tonight that at times the area of the incision still hurts (like when we wash the area).

Well, I must sign off, as Savannah is asking to play one of her computer games. Hope you all had a nice Mother's Day. We did...just returning from a lovely visit w/my family in Southern Illinois.

Happy Mother's Day!
The Olsons

Friday, May 03, 2002 at 03:30 PM (CDT)

Heaven has welcomed a beautiful angel. Our dear friend, Eion Riley (age 4), passed away last night. Please keep his family, friends and ralliers in your thoughts & prayers. As Lance says, it is now time for him to no longer be cared for, but it is his time to watch over his family and to take care of them.

As I think back to when I first met Eion, though both he & Savannahn were recovering from their first resection...I never believed we would lose one of them. Never would I allow myself to go there...because hope & faith is all you have to continue the fight against childhood cancer.

My heart swells with anger & sadness for Eion and for his family; yet, I remind myself about how Eion accomplished more in his short lifetime than any of us could dare to dream, and I am going to keep that in my heart. He brought together a community, he inspired many to realize love is the most important thing in life, and he gave us his brillant smile. For all that and more, he will never be forgotten. And I will continue to bring awareness and to fight in his memory.

The Olsons

Sunday, April 28, 2002 at 11:56 AM (CDT)

We have some awesome news! Kristi, one of the Development managers at Hope left us a message on Friday that Ty Company has requested to publish one of Savannah's drawings!!!

Last fall, Kristi contacted me to discuss a new idea the Development team would be implementing, and she wanted Savannah to participate. The idea was to send major donors patient drawings as Thank Yous. Savannah drew four pictures, and wrote "Thank you" on each one. This past Easter, Ty Company donated Beanie Babies to the hospital, and as a Thank You, Kristi sent Ty one of Savannah's drawings. The drawing is of her in her hospital bed hooked up to an IV, and she is holding a stuffed animal (a Beanie Baby, naturally!).

Ty loved the Thank You so much that they contacted Kristi to ask Savannah, Lance & I to grant permission for them to publish it one of their magazines! Isn't this awesome????

We don't have any more details than that, but of course, we will keep you updated as we learn more. Yet...Savannah was so PROUD, and Lance & I are thrilled...so we wanted to share our news.

Amy

Monday, April 22, 2002 at 10:30 AM (CDT)

Savannah is feeling great. I think her energy level is improving each day, and she doesn't require a nap every day like she did over the last 8 weeks.

I'm really writing today, because I wanted to ask you all for more prayers. Our dear friend, Eion, is struggling to battle brain cancer. We met Eion at Hope in December 2000, when he was recovering from his first surgery at the same time Savannah was recovering from hers. Since Savannah and Eion are the same age, and because they were both diagnosed with cancer at the same time, our families built a relationship. As Savannah went through treatment better than her oncologists had expected, Eion battled mouth sores from chemo and fevers which required in-patient stays; underwent rigorous physical therapy for paralysis; received transfusions after transfusions.

Since Savannah went off treatment, Eion relapsed and switched to Children's Memorial Hospital where we had another surgery and more treatment. During treatment, he relapsed and his parents switched cancer centers again so that Eion could receive a radical, experimental treatment which only one other child has had. This treatment is still underway, but just in the past few days, we have learned that cancer cells are present in his spinal fluid and he may have lost his sight in his right eye.

Dear friends, please pray for healing for this beloved child of two devoted parents and a sibling of a twin, a brother and two sisters. I don't have to tell you that he is loved by grandparents, aunts and uncles and many, many friends. He has such a cheering section...but I know what prayer can do.

We love you, Eion!

The Olsons

Friday, April 19, 2002 at 04:30 PM (CDT)

Dear FAITHFUL Friends--

Your faith, your prayers, your hope, your love...have continued to work!!! Savannah's CT scan this morning showed no signs of recurrence! Rejoice!!!!!!

Dr. Hayani did let me see this morning's
CT scan, and it looked beautiful except for the scar tissue from her surgery, which is completely normal. We reviewed her CT scan which showed the nodule, it is so strange. It is clearer than daylight, as they say. What a miracle! Her next CT scan is June 7, because her oncs don't want to mess around...this nodule still has them baffled (yes, even as of today, they are truly baffled). None of her doctors have witnessed or experienced this before! Go, Savannah!

Finding the Best in the Day...
I took Savannah for her CT scan early this morning and though we had a nice morning together, I was a nervous wreck. No matter how many times I go through standing beside her at a scan, no matter how often I pray for her to be with us always, no matter how frequently I pause to collect myself and to fill my head with positive thoughts...with hope...with faith...I still inevitably turn into a jittery, on-the-verge-of-tears mom.

Fortunately, for me, Savannah breezes through these tests without a complaint. Without a notion that she doesn't belong here. (While I, on the other hand, remind myself to not curse about her not being at home watching Disney channel nor playing outside with Jazzy.) RATHER, Savannah colors while waiting for the technicians or nurses to call her "back"; she walks the corridors and stops to comment on the beauty of a mural or ceramic tile created by or for a Hope patient; she giggles with other patients. Seems the only time Savannah becomes antsy is when she knows "they" are taking longer than normal to call her back for a procedure or check-up.

We, the parents of children who are challenged by health issues, the family of those children, friends and strangers who soon become new acquaintances, all marvel at how much pain these children endure; how easily they have adapted to living a life with hospitals and needles; how easily they pursue dreams many of us wouldn't dare to imagine; how quick they are to comfort others; how brave they can be when adversity strikes again and again and again.

With great shame, I will be the first to admit how after Savannah's first treatment was completed, I fell back into the normal routine of hustling and bustling about. No stopping to look at murals, no pausing to reflect on a ceramic tile...just running about to make it through the day. We all know how it is.

Today, I remind myself and all of you of when I was pregnant with Savannah. I remember always feeling that she was a true gift. Certainly, she was brought to us for a reason. While a baby and toddler, I would hold her or cuddle her and stroke her hair, and then I'd tell her of how she was my guardian angel. And truly she is. Look at the miracle of this child, who wants so much out of life (did you know she is going to be a nurse and a mommy when she grows up?)...who loves teaching Jazzy and Sam...who loves watching over new puppies...and who loves school and friends and family...who has never asked to be healthy but has adjusted her life at hospitals and doctor's offices to be nothing other than normal.

What I will do every day is to continue to remind myself that the day is a blessing, each day is a gift, and these children know it. Stop to smell the flowers.

I'll sign this one...
A mommy with a happy heart

Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 07:32 AM (CDT)

Hello everyone.

Savannah is doing great. She is recovering well and even returned to preschool last week. She had a follow up with the surgeon last week and she said she is healing just fine. Savannah has a CT scan scheduled for 04/19/02. They want to continue to monitor her very closely.

Not a whole lot else going on right now, things seem to be returning to normalcy (or our version of that anyway). We are going down to Springfield this weekend, the girls are very excited to see everyone.

Tomorrow is our fifth wedding anniversary, to Amy I say : "I love you, thanks for making me a part of your life. As a wife and mother, I couldn't imagine anyone else or anyone more comitted to thier family. We love you " Doesn't seem like its been 5 years, heres to many more happy,healthy years together.

Love, Lance.

Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 12:21 PM (CST)

Happy Easter to everyone,

Savannah was released from Hope on Friday night. The orders were written in the afternoon and we got out around 9:00 P.M. (imagine that). She is doing well, other than the tape on her dressing, which we are in the process of removing. The dressing was changed on Friday night to be removed on Saturday by us. The nurse used way to much tape, which Savannah has a hard time with (she is allergic to the adhesive). They used the paper tape, but way too much. We are not happy about it to say the least, but if that is all we have to complain about we will surley take it.

The girls awoke this morning to their easter baskets, and had an indoor easter egg hunt. It was chocolate for breakfast.

Heres hoping everyone has a happy and blessed Easter, as we are, at home with the family. We truly are thankful.

Peace, The Olsons

Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 06:05 PM (CST)

Well...more good news to report on Savannah's recovery.

Yesterday her surgeon removed the chest tube, and the Pain Management team reduced her meds for the PCA pump. She rarely complains of pain, and she controls much more of her movement now. When sitting up in bed, now she rotate her body to shift her legs over the side of the bed. She barely needs assistance to slip out of bed, and today she managed to climb up into bed herself. Basically when she wants to move from lying down to sitting up she needs assistance.

Because of her improvement in mobility and because she is relying less on pain meds, Dr. Leoff says that tomorrow is looking good for her release date! Will be keeping an eye on how she does overnight. Of course, Savannah is anxious to go home, but we have to wait until late afternoon, since Hearts for Hope hosts an Easter party for the patients at 1pm tomorrow! Can't miss that!!!!

Gotta go...

Many hugs from our family,
Lance, Amy, Savannah & Jasmin

Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 09:54 PM (CST)

Well, the pathology results are back, and we couldn't be more pleased. The samples of tissue taken from Savannah's lung are cancer free. Keep in mind that while the nodule (or whatever it is or was, was not found), the surgeon took samples from the area where it was supposed to be, and there was no cancer seen.

The plan for now is to get Savannah well and home. She was moved to the floor at Hope tonight, and is currently resting. She seems to be getting a little bit better with each passing day. She is still on the PCA pump for her pain but seems to be using it less and less. She has developed a nasty rash, and is complaining of a sore throat, they are going to start her on some IV antibiotics. With any luck the chest tube will be removed tomorrow. Dr. Salvi wants to do a CT scan in a few weeks, giving her lungs some time to recover from the trauma of surgery.And we suppose maybe monthly scans. The news was delivered with a grain of salt, it seems that even when an oncologist gives you good news it comes across as bad. You must understand these people are scientists and they deal in the realm of reality in which their science dictates. They are baffled by the mysterious dissaperence of this lump in Savannah's chest, and I think they seem to fear what they cannot explain. So in their eyes, there may still be a situation.

There has been much talk these past few days of divine intervention. A miracle if you will. I myself have no explanation for what has happended, but feel there is a greater power at work here, a much greater power. If anyone deserves a miracle it is Savannah, and for that matter every child that battles this monster, known as childhood cancer.Savannah has people all over of the world praying for her, that fact cannot be discounted or disputed. Prayer, an angel, whatever, just know that our family appreciates everything every one has done to help. The prayers, the giving, it never ceases to amaze us.

Love, Lance.

Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 11:44 AM (CST)

Savannah is still in PICU. She is recovering beautifully, but because the med team can't get her pain under control (having tried several different methods), she needs to be under their supervision. In fact, they have just ordered a PCA pump for her. She had one during her bowel obstruction...this allows her to be in more control of her medication...receive small doses more frequently. She will be in PICU still again tonight.

As expected by Dr. Leoff (her surgeon), Savannah's hemoglobin levels have dropped to where she requires a transfusion. With the way she looks, I wasn't surprised to know they will transfuse her today...had asked them that question this morning first thing when we woke up. She is exhausted...I am exhausted...Lance is exhausted. Hopefully the PCA pump will allow her to rest more comfortably to get the energy she needs to recover. Once her pain is under control, we will start to get her moving. This is crucial for recuperation. We have to get her out of bed into a chair...get her to sit up...not easy stuff to do, as you can imagine.

She ate lunch & dinner last night, which pleased us all. She hasn't eaten today, but certainly that is because of her pain and exhaustion. We are hoping this PCA helps her turn the corner. She is a bit sad but ready to get out of ICU and up to her "regular room" so she can to the playroom. Last night, we played a few games of Monopoly Jr in bed...so she is trying. She is fighting to recuperate. As always, she is such the compliant patient with her doctors and nurses. And that's the nice thing about being in PICU, her nurse only has her and another patient, the doctors "leave her alone" and so does the staff. It is quiet...so she gets her peace & quiet, even if it is fitful on her end (painful)...and her care is uncompromised with the patient/nurse ratio 2/1! She loves her nurses, by the way. :)

We expect to hear biopsy results by Tuesday. Her oncologists & surgeon are still baffled by not finding the nodule during surgery. This lesion was a typical, textbook case of lung met. All three had no doubt from reviewing March 15th's chest xray & CT scan prior to going into surgery, that yes indeed, she had relapsed. They still have several procedures to follow to keep proving that she is clean. If the biopsy comes back negative for cancer cells, then she will be followed closely with monthly CT scans. Her oncs are so concerned because she was in such a high-risk category of Wilm's for recurrence. If it comes back positive, then...well...we will discuss treatment options. Please understand that her family plus Lance & I don't feel like she went into surgery in vain. Her med team had to find out...had to prove...what that nodule was. As I said, her oncs & surgeon are extremely baffled that the nodule wasn't there.

At any rate, our main focus now is Savannah's recuperation from surgery. One day at a time! Our lovely miracle!

Jazzy is doing great. We miss her so, and we understand that upon waking up from her nap on Saturday, the first thing she said was "I want Savannah." She does understand Savannah is sick...and she is just as much a trooper thru all this as her big sis.

Will keep you posted as we learn more...and will let you know how she is doing later on today. Please continue to keep up the prayers and positive vibes!!!! They are working! THank you!

Much love,
Lance & Amy

Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 10:09 AM (CST)

Hoped to update sooner, but it was a long night.

First of all Savannah is o.k. She is currently resting in the Peds ICU at Hope. Her surgery was pushed back to about 9:00 P.M. yesterday due to some emergency surgeries.

Savannhas one hour surgery turned out to be like 4 hours. Dr. Loeff came out a little after 1:00 A.M. and gave us some difficult/good/unknown news. She was unable to locate the nodule on Savannahs lung (or hopefully it was gone). She reviewed the CT scan before surgery, and after she started the surgery. She consulted another radioligist and even spoke to Dr Hyani twice during the surgery. Dr Loeff inspected Savannahs lung for hours and was unable to find anything.

She did take a few sample wedges of Savannahs lung for biopsy. Not sure when we will hear any results of that. She thinks they will pobably due another CT in a few weeks. Lets pray that whatever was there was not cancer and that it never comes back.

So here we are not knowing much more than we did yesterday, a little frustrating to say the least. But also we are happy that there is a chance that Savannah did not relapse, I don't want to give any false hope of any kind, but it was a 4 hour surgery and they couldn't find anything.


Please continue to pray for Savannah, we appreciate all of the love and support.

Love, The Olsons.

Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 10:09 AM (CST)

Hoped to update sooner, but it was a long night.

First of all Savannah is o.k. She is currently resting in the Peds ICU at Hope. Her surgery was pushed back to about 9:00 P.M. yesterday due to some emergency surgeries.

Savannhas one hour surgery turned out to be like 4 hours. Dr. Loeff came out a little after 1:00 A.M. and gave us some difficult/good/unknown news. She was unable to locate the nodule on Savannahs lung (or hopefully it was gone). She reviewed the CT scan before surgery, and after she started the surgery. She consulted another radioligist and even spoke to Dr Hyani twice during the surgery. Dr Loeff inspected Savannahs lung for hours and was unable to find anything.

She did take a few sample wedges of Savannahs lung for biopsy. Not sure when we will hear any results of that. She thinks they will pobably due another CT in a few weeks. Lets pray that whatever was there was not cancer and that it never comes back.

So here we are not knowing much more than we did yesterday, a little frustrating to say the least. But also we are happy that there is a chance that Savannah did not relapse, I don't want to give any false hope of any kind, but it was a 4 hour surgery and they couldn't find anything.


Please continue to pray for Savannah, we appreciate all of the love and support.

Love, The Olsons.

Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 02:12 PM (CST)

We have just returned from Savannah's consult with Dr. Leoff, her pediatric surgeon. She is scheduled for surgery on Friday afternoon (yes, this Friday - 3/22). The procedure is a thoracotomy (did I spell that right?) and should last about an hour and half. The surgeon will remove the lump--which is on the edge of Savannah's right lung-- and will remove just a wedge of her right lung. While in there, the surgeon will also do a thorascopy -- looking thru a telescope for any other little lumps. If she finds any, she will remove those as well. Hopefully, she won't find any. Savannah will also have a chest tube inserted to drain any fluid build-up. Pain management will be a thoracic epidural.

Savannah will recuperate on the floor at Hope and recover fully by Tuesday. Whether she will be released then or not, Lance & I aren't certain. Chemotherapy may begin immediately following biopsy results, but we haven't discussed post-surgery treatment with her oncs, yet, as we are taking this one step at a time. Trying not to speculate...just managing now what we personally can absorb.

However, I did speak with one of the researchers for anaplastic Wilms Tumor this morning. He said that how her surgeon and oncologists are managing the appearance of this lump is right on track. They SHOULD be doing this surgery, since there is only one to confirm that it is cancerous rather than immediately proceed with aggressive treatment on this lump (if there were several, the first course of attack may be different --radiation or chemo first).

Treatment options for recurrent anaplastic Wilms Tumor are few. This doctor explained what he would recommend, and he believes her oncs will follow it. Generally, oncs contact him for consult when anaplastic WT recur. He did say we have an uphill battle ahead of us, but she can beat it. I am not saying this because I don't have faith. I do. She's got to beat it for crying out loud. But there comes a point when your child relapses when you take a moment to face reality. I needed to do this with this doctor, and he replied that she can do it. I do believe that if any child can do it, she can.

Savannah is not scared of surgery or treatment. She is mad about having to miss school, and she will miss her friends so much. That's really what hurts the most. I think we all can face the cancer again (as much as it sucks). You do what you have to do. But for her to lose out on the all the things a 4-year old does. That's when I feel sad.

Jasmin will manage, too. I feel awful for her, though. She still has problems being away from Savannah.

Thanks for all the love and prayers. Your support gives us unbelievable strength. That is true.

Amy

Monday, March 18, 2002 at 07:16 AM (CST)

Well, we have news to report and it is not good.

Savannah had an abdominal ultra sound and chest x-ray on Friday. The chest x-ray showed a spot on her right lung. She underwent a CT scan on Friday night and the spot was confirmed. Its not large (about 1 cm in diameter) and there is only one.


We have a consult with the surgeon on Wednesday (03/20/02). The plan as of now is surgery to remove whatever it is (oncologist feels it is tumor) and biopsy.
We are unsure after that.

Savannah however is feeling great. She understands what is going on and is not scared in anyway, she is not in any physical pain at all. She had a great weekend, and was in the South Side Irish Parade on the Hearts for Hope float. We will try to post some pictures soon.

We will update with news as it becomes available.Please continue to pray for Savannah.

Love, The Olsons.

Friday February 15, 2002 7:39 PM CST

Welcome! Hope you had a lovely Valentine's Day!

A few things...

Savannah had her monthly follow-up with Dr. Salvi this morning...and he was so enthusiastic at how fantastic she looks! She has grown at least 8cm since last spring...and has gained 11lbs since her nephrectomy/tumor removal in Dec 2001! Isn't that unbelievable??? All the nurses ooohed & aaahed over how TALL she is...and if you haven't seen her hair lately...it's gorgeous (yes, I am partial, but it is true!). I know last year at diagnosis, we didn't think Savannah losing hair would be a big deal...or at least our hope and intention was not to make it a big deal. It was. It is. That was truly our daily reminder of what she was going thru, and as it grows in, it is our reminder of what she went thru...what she is still going thru. And it is our marker of how far she has come! Yea, Savannah! You have taught me so much.

Next month Savannah will have her follow-up ultrasound & chest Xray...and of course, we just KNOW the pictures will be beautiful!

Lastly, thank u so much to all those of you who continue to visit our site. The endless support and love for Savannah amazes me still. And thanks to those of you who are new to our web site! We appreciate your interest in Savannah's story!

Our love,
The Olsons
Lance, Amy, Vanny-Girl and Miss Jazzy Leigh

Tuesday, January 01, 2002 at 01:43 PM (CST)

Happy New Year!

An update is due, eh???

Once home from the hospital, Savannah did take a bit longer to recuperate from her surgery than we had expected. Her temperament was unbelievable. At times, Lance & I wondered where our little girl went to. She would have at least 2 or 3 fits of rage (worse than any temper tantrum I've seen -- even with Jazzy!), during which she was inconsolable --no matter what we tried. Coupled with that, were constant tummy aches. We took her in for an ultrasound, and the oncologists ruled out recurrence of the cancer and/or bowel obstruction. Turned out she was severly constipated!! Her bowels were not recovering from the surgery...so with plenty doses of laxative for over one week...our sweet baby returned to normal. No more rages and no more tummy aches!

HOWEVER...Saturday night and last night she was in pain again. I did call the onc on Saturday night, b/c Lance was out-of-town and I was petrified! She was in such pain. The onc wasn't too concerned...told me to give her some Milk of Magnesia (YUCK!). As soon as I hung up, I noticed she had fallen asleep. Last night she experienced the same pain, and Lance & I now have it figured out...the girl ate too much both days! Yes... you read that right...SAVANNAH ate TOO much! (The girl NEVER eats...as many of you know.)

I don't have to tell you that Santa was good to our girls. And so were all of the relatives and many family friends. Of course Lance & I encouraged them to be spoiled (for once) this XMas, b/c the past 12 months have been such a hardship on both.

YET, as the four of us sat last night down to a lovely New Year's Eve dinner, Lance & I Savannah discussed the GOOD things about the last 12 months...Savannah pointed out --no more cancer. Lance pointed out her Make-A-Wish trip. I pointed out her 4th birthday, and Samuel's 1st birthday. Though we lost Brad and so much of our innocence, what we did gain is immeasurable. The opportunity to let those we know how much we do care...the time we get to spend with those we love...days of holding each other and kissing and hugging and knowing how important it is to relish each smile. I find Lance & I smiling at each other with such pride whenever one of the girls does or says something just plain cute. It doesn't have to be a major milestone...just something simple.

Savannah enjoyed her New Year's Eve. As I said, we had dinner at home. Lance & I cooked up a few special things, while Savannah was proud of her "Luncheables" arrangement. She set the table w/my grandmother's Fostoria. What a treat to use! (She was so careful, too!!!) We sat in the dining room...which we hardly do...and it was nice to be together.

Savannah voted for the Best Of 2001's on Disney channel on-line over the weekend. Yesterday she let the TV run as she played, so that she could see who won what category. Well, if that girl isn't with it! I'd say 95% of her picks won! I am so impressed (I'm just NOT that with it myself).

Lastly, I'd like to ask you all to remember the White family in your prayers. I've met Mrs. Karen White over the internet. She had posted on Lexi's site that her daughter, Paige, died from Wilm's Tumor on Sept. 22. Paige was 5, and she was diagnosed just one week prior to Savannah. She completed chemotherapy one week prior to Savannah, and within 3 months the cancer returned to her lungs...and was so aggressive and far gone that a last ditch clinical trial effort failed her. She leaves behind her parents and her older sister in Naperville. You know how we ache for this family...Paige was Stage III / unfavorable.

As her parents grieve with Paige's death, they had found a bit of healing by raising money in Paige's name for the National Wilm's Tumor Study. Nearly all patients being treated for Wilm's are enrolled. Savannah is. Karen & Bill have designated all of the funds to research specific to unfavorable tumors. If you don't remember, there are two types of unfavorable tumors. Focal anaplasia & diffused anaplasia. Focal is that deformed cancer cells are found localized to one area. Diffused is that deformed cancer cells are found spread-throughout the cancer. Both Paige & Savannah were diagnosed with diffused anaplasia. 95% of those diagnosed with FAVORABLE tumors have a 5-year survival rate; while the percentage drops dramatically for those who have unfavorable. I think Savannah was about 78 - 80%, and Paige was probably in the lower to mid-70's. Only 5% of all Wilm's are diagnosed unfavorable.

So you can see why the White's requesting funds be allocated for unfavorable tumor research is critical. If you wish to send a donation for the research, Paige's mom has graciously agreed to our family posting the information on Savannah's site. You'll see it at the top of Savannah's page by the quilt information.

May you all be blessed with health and prosperity in 2002! And may Savannah's brevity continue to inspire you...remember all of the children who fight each day!

Thank you all for your gifts of support, kindness and love.

The Olsons
Lance, Amy, Savannah & Jasmin

Tuesday, December 11, 2001 at 02:06 PM (CST)

Well,

One year ago today, we watched as 14 inches of snow fell, and we waited and prayed while Savannah underwent surgery. Quite possibly the worst and best day of our lives. I can remeber being so frightened as Savannah was taken into surgery and so happy when we were told of the success.


Savannah seems to be doing o.k. She did experience some pain this weekend on Sunday night which led to a midnight trip back from Cantrall, thanks Mom for coming with Amy and the girls. Savannah went to clinic on Monday and the doctor seems to think everything is o.k., they may do an ultra sound this week to make sure everything looks good.

It has not been the best of years for the family. From Savannah, to Brad, to Savannah again, it has been an up and down roller coaster ride for everyone. Here is to wishing good health, peace and joy for everyone this Holiday Season and New Year.

Lance.

Friday, November 30, 2001 at 07:31 AM (CST)

Hello everyone,

Finally some good news to report. Savannah was released from the hospiatl on Wednesday(11/28/01). She seems to be doing o.k., she still does not have much of an appetite. She is very happy to be home, and very excited to decorate for Christmas.

We all miss Jasmin so much and cannot wait to get her home.

Once again thanks to everyone for their continued support. The cards, calls, and prayers all mean so much.

Lance.

Sunday, November 25, 2001 at 04:51 PM (CST)

Hello everyone,

Well, it has been a rough past few days for Savannah, but she seems to have turned the corner. I'll give you a run down of the events of the past few days.

Savannah had surgery on Tuesday night, which went well. Wednesday was vey hard,she was catherized as she could not get out of bed. She was in extreme pain all day. She was given morphine every few hours but she was still in a lot of pain. I hope no one ever has to sit and watch as their child lays in bed saying " My tummy hurts, my tummy hurts" over and over.

Thursday, Thanskgiving, was no better. She could still not get out of bed and was in terrible pain. Her belly became extremely distended. She looked like she was nine months pregnant. At this point we were all becoming extremely concerned. Friday brought more of the same. Her doctors put her on a PAC(patient controlled analgesic), pump to control her pain. We would push a button to deliver morphine to her, and she asked for it a lot. They also put her on oxygen at this point because her belly was so distended that it was putting pressure on her lungs and she was having some trouble breathing normally. Mind you this whole time she also has a tube down her nose into her stomach draining its contents.
We were so worried, she looked great after surgery on Tuesday night then they keep adding things on. The cathiter, the morphine pump, the oxygen. We thought, "What is next ? "

Finally, on Saturday morning, we started to see some improvement. Her belly was looking much better and this was the first day since surgery that she wasn't constantly complaining that her tummy hurt. We did get her out of bed and she walked all the way around the 4th floor at Hope. It was so hard for her, but we were so very pround of her. She rested well on Saturday night, and she is doing much better today. Her pain is under control. We had her walk the floor at Hope twice today and they removed her cathiter, and she went to the bathroom on her own. She has faint bowel sounds and the surgeon thinks they may remove the NG tube from her stomach tomorrow.

Amy and I are so proud of Savannah. She is so strong, stronger than anyone I know and we cannot wait to get her home. Thanks to everyone for their prayers and support. A special thank you the nursing staff at Hope, especially, Jenny, Kelly, and Lucy. You guys have made an unbearable experience much easier for Savannah and especially us. Lets get Savannah home ASAP.

Love, Lance.

Wednesday, November 21, 2001 at 08:42 AM (CST)

Hello everyone,

Well, we have bad news and good news to report. First the bad, Savannah underwent emergency surgery last night at 10:30 P.M. to correct a bowel obstruction. The good news is that there wasn't a bowel obsrtuction per se.

She was in surgery for an hour, the surgeon came out and advised us that her bowel had become twisted in the area where her kidney was removed last December, and that is what was causing so much pain for Savannah. They corrected her bowel without having to cut it and reattach it, which is great.

Savannah had a rough night last night after the surgery, they did try to control her pain as much as possible. She did walk from the bathroom back to her bed this morning, which is a good sign. She will need to get up and about as soon as possible so that her bowels can "wake up".

We will update soon and let everyone know how things are going.

Lance.

Monday, November 19, 2001 at 11:27 AM (CST)

Hello Everyone,

I am updating today from work and I have some not so great news to report. Savannah is currently at Hope, she was admitted on Saturday 11/17/01. Saturday morning she started complaining that she was having serious pain in her stomach. We took her to the ER and once there she vomitted. She was scheduled for an abdominal ultra sound this week, so they went ahead and did that along with blood work(every thing came back negative). They also did an abdominal x-ray, and yesterday they performed a CAT scan. We believe that Savannah may have a partial bowel obstruction, which is a complication from her surgery last December.

Savannah has been vomitting and complaing of stomach pain since noon on Saturday, she has an NG tube draing her stomach and they are controlling her pain.


Amy is at the hospital now with Savannah and is awaiting a consult with surgery. We will update as soon as we have some information.

Please continue to pray for Savannah as she is in much pain now, lets hope this isn't too serious.

Love, Lance.

Thursday, October 11, 2001

Hi!

Savannah is looking fabulous! You should just see her hair if you haven't recently. It is growing in nicely. It looks about the same color as before but perhaps a tad darker. I think she'll have a nice curl or wave to it...it tends to be quite curly when wet. Her eyes don't look nearly as sunken-in as they did just a month ago. I was looking back at pictures from her Make-A-Wish trip in early August, and I was surprised at the dark circles and sunken-in-look she had around her eyes.

Savannah's sense of independence has done a 180-degrees flip since she started school this year. She loves going over to friends' houses for playdates, and she spends about one or two hours each day playing by herself in her room. In fact, a few times she has fallen asleep alone in her room. This never has happened before! Such progress.

Of course, I don't have to tell you how proud of her we are. She loves so many people and cares for them. She has been enjoying showing Jazzy new things (albeit those new things don't always JIVE with Lance and me), and she loves to tickle her so Jasmin laughs. Savannah takes care of her, and Jasmin returns the love with hugs & kisses.

Savannah, Lance & I --with much needed and appreciated help from Tricia & Rachel-- displayed the quilts at Cantrall's Annual Fall Burgoo. Many burgoo-goers visited the Illinois quilts, and their sincere interest and kind generosity renewed my enthusiasm and passion for the project. Savannah was so proud to point out her square to her friends and family in Cantrall. Boy if the emotions didn't flow that day.

Savannah just loves tap & ballet class. She is already looking forward to costume-fittings next month and to her recital (which doesn't usual happen until end of the school year!). HER enthusiasm is refreshing.

Savannah is looking forward to our trip to San Antonio for my cousin Kelli's wedding. I can't wait to show her and Jasmin off to my relatives who haven't seen them in a long time or who haven't met them yet! Plus I can't wait to show off San Antonio to Lance & the girls. SAvannah does still ask about our trip to Washington DC. She wonders when it will be "safe" to go there again. I feel like my naivety was stripped also...what a strange thing that 10 years from now when Savannah and I talk about how things were when I was growing up, it will be so different. (I think of the national guard patrolling the airports...and what other change in civil liberties there will be). Is that pessimisstic? Is that depressing? I don't know.

The weeks following the bombings were hard on me personally because so many sentiments expressed by our nation echoed those I heard throughout Savannah's treatment. For example: Our nation is strong (Lance and I and Savannah are strong); our nation is resilient (children are resilient); give blood, etc. So many repressed emotions about Savannah's fight surfaced. I cried when listening to music, I cried when watching personal WTC tragedies on the news. But I wasn't alone...I listened to other cancer parents say the same thing. And I probably scared some friends off by honestly letting them know I was hurting. But Lance & I do hurt. We may hide it well most of the time, but her fight will always be with us. Always.

Lastly, Savannah got the big thumbs up at her last visit to clinic. Such a bittersweet day that was. We also got to meet Megan's (the girls' babysitter) friend, Jana, who is battling Hodgkin's, and we saw Eion (who completed treatment and turned four at the end of Sept.) and we visited with Alexis and Ashley. Our friends remind us that the fight isn't over. Children still need a cure...parents still need hope and faith.

I just read Savannah's last journal entry. I'm sure you figured out from the rooting for the Cardinals that I didn't write it!! HOWEVER, Lance is right. Please continue to donate your blood and/or platelets.

A wonderful day: Savannah, Jazzy & I went to visit Karen & Mike's new arrival --JOshua Allen-- yesterday. He is beautiful! In the midst of pain, a little baby gently and completely covers the world with joy.

And to our Sammy, we miss u.

Love,
Lance, Amy, SAvannah & Jasmin

Friday, September 28, 2001 at 07:53 AM (CDT)

Hello Everyone,

Savannah had an appointment at clinic this week and everything looks good. She has been enjoying pre-school and dance classes and it seems there is a bit more of a return to normalcy in her life. She has been spending a lot of time on the computer playing games and getting "hooked on phonics".

In the wake of the recent attack on America there has been much said about donation of blood. We urge everyone to donate blood as often as possible, there are kids out there who need it very badly. It should not take a national tragedy to bring this to light.

We hope the fall season brings peace to all. Lets get out there and cheer those Redbirds to playoff victory.

Love, The Olsons.

Tuesday, September 11, 2001 at 02:30 PM (CDT)

Thought I'd just log-on to say that due to today's tragic and castrophic events, our trip to D.C. has been cancelled. The National Childrens Cancer Foundation (NCCF) which hosts the Childhood Cancer Awareness Gold Ribbons Days has cancelled the week, and though I had to read it to believe it, I knew once I heard about the attack, our trip and the events wouldn't happen.

Our family pauses throughout the day to think about the families terribly affected and forever haunted by this tragedy. Thank goodness many bizarre turn of events have saved a few close family members and friends of the family lives. Several work in the area, and last night Sigrid cancelled her meeting scheduled for 9:30EST this morning at the World Trade Center.

May you all find peace this week. We love you, The Olsons

PS - Since this is SAvannah's site afterall, just a quick update: she had the best time at dance class and school this morning! Both times she came out with HUGE smiles!!!!

Monday, September 10, 2001

Tonight is Savannah's first ballet/tap class at the performing studio! She is so excited, and I can't wait to get a first day picture of her...this will be so different from the park district classes! I awe that at age 4, she knows what she really likes...she knows who she is...

Savannah is showing little baby steps in the past few days regarding her independence. She went to church with me yesterday...I was surprised to see her even want to go, because she would be in her Sunday school room without me. After we got Jasmin settled in her room, we walked down the hall to Savannah's. I took her hand to walk her in, and she pulled back. Her face was puckered up and the tears built up...she told me she was scared and didn't want to go. I got her to enter into the room with me, and we stayed together for about 5 mintues. She wouldn't let me leave, and after all she has been through, I didn't push it. I felt good about how far we got that day...from out the front door to the car to church to leaving her sissy to entering her classroom. So she didn't stay...but two weeks or two months from now, she may.

Please keep our family in your prayers, as my uncle is recovering in intensive care at the hospital. Many hugs to him and my cousins.

Also, remember the Ledford family who lost their sweet, 10-year old Rose who fought so valiantly against osteosarcoma, a bone cancer which generally is common among teens. Our prayers are with the family. I have followed their story, as her mom & I are on the same on-line support group.

Love, The Olsons

Thursday, September 06, 2001 at 12:45 PM (CDT)

Hello!

I am on my lunch break doing some paperwork for Childrens Cancer Awareness Gold Ribbon Days. My heart still wrenches at the stories, and I think next week will be way too emotional. I am now wishing I had begged a family member to attend with me...I guess if I am ready to burst into tears reading the site, then I am in for a tough few days next week.

Of course, I have remained in the most upbeat spirits around Savannah. I am so thankful she is going with me. Lance & I believed there was no question in whether she should go or not. I can't imagine how she will benefit from seeing other children and meeting other children. Her sense of security and independence was stolen from her, and she is working hard to restore it, but certainly seeing all the kids there will give her a sense (again)...a bit of reassurance...that she IS NOT alone. I imagine she has to feel that way sometimes...

Savannah talks about going to DC. One of her preschool teachers came by to visit us yesterday, and Savannah was quite open with her about the trip. That was reassuring to me. And...isn't she ever excited yet nervous about school!

A few advocacy issues...

1) Please continue to send your letters regarding the children's cancer awareness stamp (modeled after the breast cancer stamp). If you'd like to send a letter, please go to this web page for a sample letter: http://www.childhoodcancerawareness.org/stampsampleletter.htm

I copied the letter to my word processing file and just tweaked it a bit. It took me about 3 minutes to copy, tweak, print and mail out. If you have trouble copying and pasting, send me an email, and I will send you a microsoft word attachment file w/ the letter ready to go! Please do this for us.

Also...if you are interested in seeing more about the event Savannah and I are going to next week visit the home page: childhoodcancerawareness.org

I have a feeling if you go back in a few weeks to that site, you will see the pics from 2001! (Maybe you'll catch a glimpse of Savannah!)

September 22nd is the 6th annual Cantrall Burgoo. This event raises money for the town park. Mary Lou, Marlene & Tricia have asked me to set-up a booth, and I am going to sell t-shirts and gold ribbons, plus I am going to display the Illinois quilts. If you are in the Springfield area, please come out for some chili or burgoo, buy a few raffle tix, and please stop by my booth!

A few more requests...

1) visit www.goldribbons.org to purchase a gold ribbon to wear! Each ribbon is only $2.50! Wear a ribbon everywhere you go so that when others stop to ask what it represents, you can tell them!

2) If you know any media reporter, please let me know. We are starting to contact local affliates and newspapers state-wide to get the word out about events and the quilts!

Thanks for your support!

Our love, The Olsons

Wednesday, September 05, 2001

Dear Loved Ones,

Well...I haven't held true to my promise about getting the Disney trip pictures posted. All in good time. Of course, by the time we get those posted, Savannah & I will have returned from Washington D.C.!

Savannah & I are looking forward to our trip to DC for Childrens Cancer Awareness Week! The Illinois quilts will make their debut, and our charge quilter, Sue (mom to patient Johnny @ Hope) is sewing away fanatically as I type. The response to squares for the quilt was so tremendous in just this first year, that Sue and I decided to extend the deadline for adding squares to the quilts to be displayed this month. In fact, she is leaving a few spaces open until tomorrow -- and she has to ship them tomorrow! She is amazing and so enthusiastic. She says the quilts look beautiful so far, and I cannot wait to see them.

Savannah is doing great. I am so proud of her. She is scared a lot of the time and refuses to be left alone in a room even for 10 seconds. I spoke with the social worker today, and she told me to keep on doing what we are (inviting her with us wherever we go in the house, even if we are just leaving for 10 seconds) and to continue with our routine. She believes pre-school will help her gain some more independence and security, because she will be back "where she belongs" -- so to speak. Savannah starts preschool on Sept. 11. She is anxious!

Savannah is also looking forward to her dance class. She is going to a performing arts studio in Downers Grove, and her first class is Sept. 10. She has a big week next week! The class is ballet and tap, and I think she and I will like this so much better than the park district. Most of the students are 2nd and 3rd generation...so we know the studio has great retention! And the owner responded immediately to my concern about SAvannah being exposed to germs and illness! (Savannah's immune system is still compromised. She is at about 60 - 70% of normal immunity.)

Just A Few Special Treats to Share:
Family friends, Dana & Dave Bukala's first son, Jackson Reese, was born last night. Best wishes!!!
Today is Nana & Papa's anniversary, so we want to wish them a special congratuations.
Tomorrow is Grammy's birthday...happy birthday!

Hope you all return to visit us soon! We will be posting before our trip on Sept. 13!

Love, the Olsons

Tuesday, August 21, 2001

Dear Friends & Family,

We have returned from Savanah's wish trip with lots of memories to share! I can't believe how fast the time went (well...doesn't it always). Savannah & Jasmin were so thrilled to have us everyday to themselves without us leaving for work or some activity.

The cruise was awesome. We are definitely going again! Our trip started out on Thursday August 9th when the limo picked us up at 4:15a.m. (yes...you read that right!) and whisked us to O'Hare for our 7:00a.m. flight to Orlando. We had some time to kill at O'Hare, so we were treated to some coffee, juice and muffins at the Admirals Club. Then we had a special car ride through the concourse to our gate! Such treatment the Make-A-Wish kids receive! Savannah & Jasmin met the Captain and his co-pilot and were able to sit in their seats and pretend to fly the plane. It was awesome!! Of course, they earned their "wings."

We arrived at Orlando and took the Disney Cruise line shuttle to Port Canaveral (where the ship embarks). This ship left the port at 5:00pm that day. No one became sea sick. And we all enjoyed walking the promenade deck every evening after dinner to see the ocean and the sunset. We watched for exciting marine life but didn't see anything.

Each meal was a treat. Lance & I were astounded at the range of dishes to choose from. The food was delicious! We ate like kings & queens. Savannah was in heaven with all the fresh fruit. The girls got to swim lots, and we saw a few shows on the ship. Disney hires such talent, and we all enjoyed the shows we saw!!!

The last evening of the cruise, right before dinner, Savannah and her family were invited to the Captain's bridge to meet him and see the navigation area. She also met Mickey! This was wonderful. The cruise did things like that...left her little gifts everyday with sweet notes from the Make-A-Wish coordinator on the cruise. If you are going to start giving to any organiztion....Make-A-Wish is the one! They don't miss a beat!

AFter the cruise, we headed to Disney! The first afternoon, SAvnanah suggested we go to Downtown Disney and eat lunch at the House of Blues. That was fun! We captured some of that on video and film. Unfortunately, Jasmin got a hold of my camera and managed to take out the film with the shots from House of Blues on it, so we lost the pictures. Most of our pictures from the other rolls of film turned out pretty crummy, too.

We visited Magic Kingdom everyday. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday. We let Savannah get her fill of riding the Peter Pan, It's A Small World and other rides she loved. Jasmin just had a ball the entire time (on the cruise and on land). She loved every moment of it. I don't think either of them know what to do with themselves now that we are back!

We also visited Animal Kingdom and MGM Studios. We had so much fun and again, saw lots of great shows/productions. We are already saving up for our next trip!

Savannah is feeling really good. We are looking forward to our next getaway...in September for Childrens' Cancer Awareness DAys. Thanks to all of you who have donated to the organization.

Well...that's all for now! Pics from our trip will be posted in the next day or two, so come back!

Many hugs and thanks for all you have done,

love, the Olsons

Tuesday, July 31, 2001

Ok...ok! So, we know it has been AWHILE. Things have been so busy here. Well, whose summer isn't?

As you know, Savannah's celebration was a success! We hope those of you who could make it had as much fun as we did. The girls were wiped out for a couple of days (Aunt Tricia tells me that Samuel was, too), but taking the time to recover was so worth partying all day on Saturday! For those of you who missed it, we were sorry that you couldn't make it...but know that you were still with us someway or another!

Savannah has been feeling great. Her color looks awesome, and I believe that she finally is feeling well more often than not. I think she felt a lot more achy and crummy than she led on or that we could tell. Her last clinic visit reveals excellent blood counts! Next week she has her routine scans...but we all know those will show a healthy lil body.

The quilt is coming along...get your squares in to be included on this year's quilt. Otherwise, take your time, and we will add you to next year's display. Savannah & I are excited to accompany the quilts to D.C. in September to rally for children's cancer awareness. Savannah honestly is looking forward to meeting other kids. I think she'll feel a bit better to see another child who is bald. This is still our main issue. I know...I know... if this is all we have to deal with, then don't complain. I am not! I try to constantly let Savannah know that I see her feelings get hurt, and I tell her that she is a beauty, and that one day her hair will be long so no one will question again if she is a boy or girl (earlier this week she received about 4 of those questions in just one day! Yikes!).

Jasmin is coming around. My leaving her has become easier and easier on her. Phew. We have been running and swimming lots. She loves the water! I have a double-jogger now, so usually I run the girls up to the pool (for my exercise). Last night Lance & I walked the girls out to the car to go swimming, and Jasmin headed straight for the jogger. When Lance pulled her out, and placed her in her carseat, she had a fit! It took us a few minutes to calm her down...she thought we weren't going swimming! Poor thing thought we had dressed her up for the pool and weren't going. She is so used to the jogger! Funny. (Of course, this makes me feel good, b/c I guess I am running more than I thought!)

Our big trip is almost here! Watch out Disney...here come the Olsons! And aren't we ready to have a vacation alone...just us four. Savannah and Jasmin have a Disney video which is like a 30-minute advertisment for the theme park. They have been watching it a lot!!! Savannah even has the countdown going. In fact, the sweet thing started packing a couple of nights ago after Grammy bought her a new suitcase. (It's so cute...a pull along kind w/ flowers.)

Our best to you! OH! And don't forget to check out the new pics. A few from Savannah's last day as a chemotherapy patient...and one or two from her PARTY!

Love, The Olsons

Friday, July 06, 2001 at 11:13 PM (CDT)

Savannah has quality of life. Doesn't she? Isn't that what counts????

Her family party over the weekend was what it should have been...a special day for her. She boated, paddle-boated, fished, played and ate. 4th of July was just as busy...parade, BBQ and fireworks. She has been very happy this week. I'd like to think it was because I didn't work from Friday afternoon until Thursday morning, but I am guessing it really is because she is just a sweet, little girl who had so much fun.

Savannah is at Nana and Papa's this weekend with Lance & Jazzy. They've been gone for just 3 hours, and I miss them all. I made Savannah a tape before she left (for the car ride), which sparked me into making a tape for myself. Savannah, as I was taping, I came across this song, which reminded me of you...can I share it with you? Some days it is much easier to express my feelings by posting the words written by someone else. But, I can tell you this, Savannah. Geesh, do I ever love you.


*Wonder*
by Natalie Merchant

Doctors have come
from distant cities
just to see me
stand over my head
disbelieving what they're seeing

they say I must be one of the wonders
of God's own creation
and as far as they can see they can offer
no explanation

newspapers ask
intimate questions
want confessions
to steal the glory
of my story...

...i believe
fate smiled & destiny
laughed as she came to my cradle
"know this child will be able"
laughed as my body she lifted
"know this child will be gifted
with love, with patience
and with faith
she'll make her way"

people see me
i'm a challenge
to your balance
I'm over your heads
how I confound you
and astound you
to know I must be one of the wonders
of God's own creation
and as far as you can see you can offer me
no explanation...

************************'

Dearest Savannah, like the person in this song, you are our wonder. You have had such patience throughout treatment. Your compassion and patience ignites my own faith. As many have said before me, you amaze us. I am so proud of you.

Can I sign this one...
Love,
"Your Favorite Mommy" (Because, geesh, if that doesn't make me feel soooo good when you say it.)

Thursday, June 28, 2001

So, yes, Savannah celebrated her 4th birthday yesterday! She had an awesome day, and I don't think the day could have been any better. It was perfect. I couldn't stop telling her how special the day was, because this was the day 4 years ago when she came into my life!

Lance & I had to work in the morning, so Savannah and Jasmin spent it with Grammy. They went to the Disney Store to exchange one of Savannah's gifts and then went for pizza (you know how Savannah luvs mall pizza!). I met them at the mall, and Savannah & I went back to the Disney Store, so she could pick out a special gift from us. She got some fun Mickey dessert plates & two more mini-globes.

Later that day, Savannah's best friend, Tori, came over and I took the girls to the pool. They made some friends and had so much fun. Jasmin and I were treated to some bonding time, as Savannah and Tori entertained themselves. All the girls were so wonderful! Per Savannah's request for her birthday dinner, we stopped on the way home & picked up some McDonald's. Lance grilled burgers for us and my parents. Savannah unwrapped her presents, and then the girls played for awhile. The girls' sitter, Meg, stopped by with a gift and for cake & ice cream. Savannah and Tori were together for 4 hours, and they were sad to depart. They had shared and giggled the whole day, and I was so proud of how they have grown into sweet young girls.

Savannah said this morning that she had an awesome birthday.

This weekend we are travelling to Cantrall to celebrate Savannah's birthday, again! Heck, she made it. She's had a lousy last few months, and I want her to have the best summer. So, we will be celebrating out at Samuel's other grandparents lakehouse on Sunday. Savannah is excited about fishing and riding the paddleboats.

Savannah's head is looking good. She pretty much forgot about after we left the hospital to have it glued. No more injuries since. Thank goodness!

We went last weekend to the support group for Savannah's oncology clinic. It was so fun. We saw Lexi and her family, and we saw Eion and his family! Everyone was having a good time just being kids. Towards the end of the picnic, all of the kids took a group picture w/Dr. Salvi, his nurses and the social worker. Savannah actually stood there for the 10 minutes it took (you know organizing the 40+ kids and all the parents taking pics). I cried. I don't know...emotions swept over me. She made it...and she was so sweet standing there for the picture...one of maybe 4 kids who were bald...why...why...why. But these kids made it. I can't explain it, so I'll quit trying!

Jasmin is such a fun child! She loves to go swimming, and yesterday she learned how to float! She wanted to do it over and over and over. Her other latest thing is to watch Elmo from Sesame Street. We have a couple of videos, and she constantly requests to watch them. This morning she kept asking my mom (we were at my mom's) to watch "Melmo" -- poor Grammy had to tell her 3 times that she didn't have it and would Teletubbies be ok. It was adorable.

Well...the plans for Disney are set! We are so excited. Savannah asked the other day..."when do I get to go on my Disney Cruise?" :) What a sweetie!

Lastly, the word is the stamp campaign is successful. Looks like it will be approved! Thanks for your support!!!!!

Lots of Love,
Amy

Tuesday, June 19, 2001

Let the campaign begin!!

Parents and caregivers for children with cancer have commenced a campaign to have a stamp for Childhood Cancer Awareness approved. Childhood cancer awareness is such a hot issue with us, because the awareness is not there. No one wants to believe it or hear about it. But our children are not receiving the funds needed to conquer the battle. Children are still being diagnosed daily, and children are still dying. This hurts.

Please write to the U.S. Postal Service and let them know how widespread childhood cancer really is. Tell them it is ranked the #1 killer disease for children in our country. Tell them treatment takes over 3 years for many. Tell them about Savannah and her fight. Each child matters and is real. Each child deserves your letter and your chance. (notice the name of the street on which they utilize space...)

U.S. Postal Service
Stamp Development
attn: Stamp Design
475 L'Enfant Plaza SW, Room 5670
Washington, DC 20260-2437


THANK YOU AND WE LOVE YOU ALL!
The Olsons

Saturday, June 16, 2001 at 01:41 PM (CDT)

Dear Family & Friends,

The last week has been insane! Yes...the Olson household rarely gets a rest. My mom hurt her back last week (argh...hasn't she had it rough the past couple of months), and then later that day, Savannah, Jasmin & I rushed to the ER, because Jasmin dropped a heavy, ceramic box on Savannah's head! And I was RIGHT there! She is too fast. Luckily, Savannah was alright. No concussion. No stitches -- just some glue (dermabond). Her head looks fine, and she was once again put on her battling gloves to deal with another hospital trip. What a sweetheart!

This weekend is Woodridge's little festival. We are taking the girls tonight. Popcorn, pizza, corn-on-the-cob, cotton candy, a band and lots of rides! Savannah is so looking forward to it, and don't you know how great it is that we can do this. You know I always go on about how she missed out on so much the last few months.

Savannah sees her oncologist on Tuesday to check her counts. We have had to give her shots since she was discharged, and I hope that her counts are back up. The onc tells me the next 6 - 12 months are absolutely critical...so she will continue taking Bactrim (antibiotic) 3 days per week, and they will monitor her closely. This isn't over yet...but hey...no more hospital stays (right?) and no more treatments...just a little maintenance (did I spell that word right?)!

Invitations to Savannah's party on July 21 are going out early this week, so watch for yours. I hope you can make it. If you are out of state...we probably won't send you an invitation...unless you let me know that are you coming in town that weekend anyway to see your family.


Our love,
The Olsons

Thursday, June 07, 2001 at 07:53 PM (CDT)

Dearest Family & Friends,

Good evening!!! Lance & Savannah are playing in the playroom together, as I catch up on reading my e-mails and updating Savannah's site.

Thanks to all of you for your endless support. Gosh. What would we have done with it? I suppose do what we did. Make it, but it seems like your lifts made the rollercoaster not so dippy.

So, here are we. This is it. SAVANNAH JUST FINISHED HER LAST CHEMOTHERAPY TREATMENT. THAT'S IT. NO MORE POISON. LIFE GOES ON!!!!!!!

What can I say? Lots I am sure. We love her so much that it hurts. Some days are, like I have said before, so tough. You think...why...why...why her. Why a sweet-loving child. Why did she miss out on months of school? She belongs there not in the hospital! And her innocent flesh...deeply scarred, pale, transparent, hairless. The oral medications...the injections...the blood draws. Missing out on parties and cancelling playdates. And I will admit that some moments I just want to run away from it all. Some minutes seem to drag, and some days it seems enough just to make it through the day...but then she smiles.

And then you think of the positives...new friends (from the hospital), a refreshed look at life, a deeper love...the will not to let go...the understanding of how fragile life is. I have to say there are many more days where I find myself thankful for what I have rather than pining away for what I don't. My daughters, my husband, our parents, our siblings...and you. Our friends. Our network of support.

Well, though chemotherapy is over, this certainly is not the end. As you know, we are involved in the quilt and are participating in the hospital's support program. Lots of fun events coming up! Plus Savannah will be checked regularly for recurrence, blood counts and her heart's strength. We still have our Make-A-Wish (tentatively set for August 9!!!!), and we have a few more daily immunity booster shots to go. But we have reached the proverbial "light at the end of the tunnel." And now all we can do is pray for the 5-year mark to come without hitches.

HOWEVER, I still think Savannah is due a big bash. Our date? We just set it today for July 21. Invitations will be in the mail next week (I hope). So SAVE THE DATE!

We love you all. Hope you continue to donate blood and sign to be an organ donor.

Lastly, to Lance, Savannah and Jasmin: I love you all so much. Thank you for making me feel better when I feel bad. Thank you for loving me for me (we all know that sometimes me isn't so wonderful...). And thank you for being my world. How blessed I am.

Peace At Last,
Amy

Monday, June 04, 2001 at 10:21 PM (CDT)

Well, the report is in from Savannah's testing. She can hear a pin drop! So don't let her fool you...she just likes the TV and radio loud!!!

To Jasmin: Thank you for signing Savannah's guestbook, honey. We miss you terribly. It is too quiet around here.

Not much else to say except...THIS IS IT!!! SAVANNAH'S LAST TREATMENT!!! I Love You, Savannah! You go, girl! Let's party! Pinky shake! Shake your bom-bom!

And lastly, in honor of my all-time favorite conversations with Savannah (we repeat this one quite often):
Who is the luckiest mommy in the whole word? (Savannah sez: My Mommy)
Why? (Savannah sez: Because she has two sweet, beautiful girls.)
Who are those girls? (Savannah sez: Me and Jasmin. Duh, mom!)

Love -- Mommy

Thursday, May 31, 2001

Hello all! Can you believe June 1st is tomorrow? Can you believe the doctors diagnosed Savannah with cancer nearly 7 months ago? She is so close to being done!!! And WE ARE SO PROUD of her STRENGTH, COMPASSION and DESIRE to understand and conquer the disease. Lance said to her last night, "Savannah, do you realize that a week from today you will be days away from it being all over???" Savannah is so close to finishing her treatment.

Savannah is feeling absolutely great. Her spirits have been soaring even since she was in the hospital last treatment. Her counts recovered quickly. I was surprised at how much energy she has had the last two weeks. Usually the first week after treatment is tiring for her. She is achy and runs down quickly, and I thought that considering the chemo has "built up" in her, she would tire quicker and stay lethargic longer. BUT, rather, she feels great. Her appetite has been better than I've seen it in a long time. AND! If I'll be da@#ed, Savannah is eating salad with DRESSING! She recently discovered that she loves Italian dressing and now requests salad often! Lance & I told her (with huge smiles on our faces, of course) that we were so proud of her trying something new rather than just saying "I don't like it" without even trying it. She never samples anything new...but has been adventuresome lately. I don't know what the change is, but I love it! Her other latest food treasure??? Hostess Ho-Hos! She calls them "Heigh-Hos" and eats about 3 a day. Hey, so the sugar isn't the most nutritious, but she is EATING!!!!

In my last post I mentioned that Savannah likes to have her blankets stretched out perfectly...well, those of you who have been tongue-lashed by her for not arranging blankets perfectly will be thrilled (and relieved) to know she told and showed me last night that she can arrange the blanket on herself just right. Ah...such a wonderful accomplishment!

Savannah has an appointment at Hinsdale Hospital this week for her audiogram. Prior to the Wilm's Tumor diagnosis, I was wondering if Savannah had hearing problems or if she simply was tuning me out. Naturally, I'd like to think she doesn't tune me out, but us parents all know differently (!). Of course, I would rather find out that yes, she was tuning me out instead of having a hearing problem. So now that Savannah is going through chemotherapy, my girlfriend who is an audiologist highly suggested that I do have her tested. I wanted to do so even before she was diagnosed, but April tells me that some chemotherapy drugs can weaken hearing. I have rescheduled the appointment 3 times since February, so I am thankful to my mom for taking her. Keep good thoughts and say prayers, please!!!!

We still haven't heard from Make-A-Wish, and I have to be honest that I am so anxious to hear the progress on Savannah's trip.

That's all for today.

With Hugs & Love,
Amy

Monday, May 28, 2001 at 03:38 PM (CDT)

Dear Family & Friends,

The past week has been a busy one. Savannah is doing fine right now. Ok, I'll admit it...she is flying high. Her energy levels are exhausting me! She is happy that today is holiday, and though we have tried to explain to her the significance of today...she is just like most kids and sees today as BBQ time. We are spending the day with my family. (My grandmother is staying with my parents for a few weeks, while she recuperates from shoulder replacement surgery.) The girls have been busy driving Savannah's Barbie Jeep and Jazzy's motorized cycle. They are hysterical! We hope to have pictures posted later tonight or tomorrow of them be-boppin' around. Today is still cool, but at least the skies aren't weeping! We've had nothing but rain the past few days, and I know the plants and grass need it, but it is nice to have a break.

Savannah is glad the her flower pots are such a hit. She and I had a ball painting them...the nurses on 4 at Hope had the best time checking in on our progress. They love to see what our projects for the in-patient stays are and were quite disappointed that last time I didn't have a planned project. Not that we didn't have enough to do, as Savannah's preschool had given us about one month of school projects to accomplish!

Last week Aunt Tee-Tee (Jazzy's special name for Tricia) and Samuel came to visit. We just adore them both and loved having a chance to bond. Samuel and Savannah already are starting to bond. He loves to see her and just giggles away when she talks to him. He is so sweet. Anyway, poor Tricia had to manage all three babies one morning while I trotted off to work. I came home, luckily, to her with all of her hair intact! (I had visions of her ripping her hair out of her head with anxiety and frustration (1) from Jasmin climbing on top of Sam --with good intentions to give kisses and hugs-- and (2) of Savannah screaming that Tricia poured her too much milk or didn't adjust her blankie just perfect --Savannah tends to like things just right). So, just kidding...the kids are great and having them to yourself for awhile is special! Anyway, we had a great time and were sad when they had to leave for their holiday weekend.

We haven't heard anymore on the Disney Cruise but are waiting anxiously for an update. I want to plan the Celebration party for Savannah and Jazzy but can't until we have our Disney plans arranged.

Smiles and Hugs,
Amy

Sunday, May 20, 2001 at 08:51 AM (CDT)

So, it's been a rather long time since either of us have updated Savannah's site. I feel guilty about that, but I couldn't find a free moment, and when I thought I had a chance to write, I realized that my emotions were whacky. We all would be better off if I chose NOT to post. Who knows what I'd say. Some days are really tough, and I find that I get so angry and am so hurt over the cancer still. Certainly I'd rant on and on about how cruddy this is.

Savannah had a great time at Samuel's baptism on Mother's Day. She was pleased to really be a part of it, as Tricia & Fred allowed her to come up with us when he was baptized. After the ceremony, Tricia & Fred had the family out to Fred's parents' lake cabin. Savannah went on two boat rides and fished all day with Uncle Fred. She caught a fish and a turtle! She had such a wonderful day. A normal, kid day.

Tuesday Savannah was admitted for in-patient chemotherapy. She only got mad at me a couple of times, and luckily for me, she didn't throw anything this time. The chemotherapy drugs have a side effect of combative behavior, and Savannah's gets it. But I'll take her chucking anything at me any day over her getting other side effects like mouth sores and achy joints. She was compliant as usual and didn't complain once during her five-day stay. In fact she smiled a lot and was always ready to share her Make-A-Wish with anyone who would listen.

The night before Savannah was admitted to Hope, Make-A-Wish came to visit her to discuss starting the plans to fulfill her Wish. As many of you already know, Savannah changed her mind three days before her volunteer coordinators visited. Her Wish: a Disney Cruise! I was really proud of her first Wish (California & Out of the Box), but I think this one is awesome, too. Personally, I CAN'T wait to go!

Savannah's ultrasound, echocardiogram and chest xray came back fine. She is doing great, everyone! Yea! I am relieved, but I believe the fear of recurrence will always be with me. But this is just part of being a parent of a cancer kid. Everyday you fear the chance of recurrence. Some days the thought is just in the back of my mind, and some days I cry over it. This has nothing to do about being positive, but it has to do with seeing your child already fight for her life and as a parent being in such a vulnerable position...relying completely on others to keep your child cancer-free and alive. Ok...so you get you point.

Good news about all that, though...Savannah's friend Lexi at Hope who has the 12 lung mets (also a Wilm's patient) found out on Friday that her tumors are shrinking. If you are interested to learn more about sweet Lexi who, like Savannah, has the whole 4th Floor of Hope head over heels for her...visit her site at www.caringbridge.com/il/alexis.

Continue to say prayers for our cancer kids. Each day is a different day, and I can't wait until I can say for all our of kids that each day is a normal day. Cancer-free.

hugs and love,
amy

Friday, May 11, 2001 at 02:49 PM (CDT)

Dear Friends & Family,

Happy Friday and Happy (early) Mother's Day! As you have read (or at least deduced), we have had a last couple of weeks with ups & downs. Nothing more unusual than the life of family affected by cancer.

Savannah is alright. She is energetic and happy. Lately her goal is to make everyone laugh with some "silly" word (silly -- according to her) or with some "silly" face! Even still --even through all this-- Savannah is the one who keeps us filled with hope and JOY. Her cough is nearly gone, and next Tuesday she will be admitted for in-patient chemotherapy. She also will have a routine chest x-ray and abdominal ultrasound. Keep up those prayers. They ARE working!!! :)

I ask you to also add little Lexi Ehrhart to your prayer list. Lexi is 2 and was diagnosed with Wilm's Tumor in early February. She is being treated at Hope Children's Hospital as well. Without understanding and so unfairly, Lexi's cancer has returned. She has 12 tumors (lung mets) which will have to be treated with more poison. Lexi will have to be admitted for 5 nights of chemotherapy. Our family is already praying for this treatment to work. Please think of her family as they try to cope with the world flipping upside down again.

Hug your children. Tell them you love them. Hold on tight.

My grandmother & mother are doing fine. My grandmother's surgery was successful (shoulder replacement surgery), and she will be released next Wednesday. Please think of her as once she is released she has to close the estate of her aunt (my great-great-aunt) who passed last week. Our family was expecting this and believe that she is more comfortable in her place now.

Again, many thanks for all the love & support which you all send us. To think that we are 1 month away, and to know that you haven't left us at all...well it's too overwhelming to phrase.

Just to end my posting today on a high note...I was elected on the Hearts for Hope Executive Board. This is a volunteer board responsible for fundraising and initiating/carrying out awareness for Hope Children's Hospital. I am so thrilled to work with these people who are enthusiastically committed to Hope's kids. I was chosen because they got wind of my wish to do a 5-K run/walk. The application and voting process took over 3 months, but I made it. I believe plans start on the 5-K next week, and I am so proud! The proceeds will benefit the new Hematology/Oncology clinic! Once the first annual race is done, then Aunt Tricia & I plan to start on our family's very own healthwalk...Steps for Savannah & Friends to benefit Savannah & Wilm's Tumor research. Mind you...this even is at least 2 years away. But I am so honored to be a part of the board. I want the best for Savannah and the children, and what better way to make sure they get it...do it!!!!

Ok...so I shouldn't end this without saying that Cubs v Cards tomorrow. Lance has tickets. GO CUBBIES!!!!

Our hugs and our love on this special weekend. May you all find peace.

The Olsons

Monday, May 07, 2001 at 07:06 AM (CDT)

Hello everyone,

Savannah is doing well. She seems to be over the "cough", that had us very concerned last week. We took her to clinic and Dr. had a chest x-ray done,which came back negative. Due to her blood counts we need to watch her, and see did have a very bad hacking cough. She was perscribed another anti-biotic and an inhaler. She liked to use the inhaler as she could pump it herself, not real happy about more medicine to take along with the bactrum.

Savannah held up though, it was a tough week with 3 trips to the clinic, blood drawn each time. She is so strong, and is looking forward very much to her treatment being over.

Savannah and Amy made a short trip to Rock Island this weekend to visit great-grandmom as she is currently hospitalized. Everyone please think of her this week as she undergoes surgery. Jasmin and I hung out at home, we had a good time.

We are all very much looking forward to this weekend, and the baptism of Samuel. Amy and I are honored to become his god parents and look forward to spending some time with the whole family.

On a lighter note, if anyone wants to go see the Cards and Cubs on Saturday, let me know. I have an extra ticket, was going to take Dad, but unsure if he has to work. Redbirds need to get on track, I don't think I can take much more of the Cubs in first place.

Love to all,

Lance(as if if you couldn't tell I wrote this update) and Family.

Saturday, April 28, 2001 at 12:24 PM (CDT)

Dear Friends,

Savannah is home! Lance is going down to Springfield today to pick up Jazzy. Savannah is so anxious to see her. Jazzy's return home is mostly what Savannah has been talking about.

Savannah feels pretty lousy today. She is sleeping right now, which is a rather early time for her. It's about 12:30p.m. Yesterday when she was released, she was feeling good, and the oncologists' nurses tell us that the best time to get Savannah out & about is either right after she is discharged from in-patient chemo or right before she is admitted for the next round. Since she was feeling energetic, Grammy & I took her to the mall to her new favorite stand called "Suzy." They have beaded necklaces, barrettes, tiaras and headbands. The stand just recently opened up, and Savannah and I happened upon it before her last admit. At that time, she got a cute necklace, and we got Jazzy a barrette. So, Savannah was anxious to get back there to back something new. This time she picked out the fanciest beaded headband I've ever seen! :)

After some mall pizza, we took Savannah to The Home Depot to get some flowers for our yard. Savannah picked out four pots, and when we got home, she transferred them into two potato crocks I have been using for flowers. She had so much fun, and I look at the flower planting as a bonding time for us which is not limited by or concerned with the cancer. She loves it, and I am guessing this is going to be a tradition at our house.

Savannah has decided on her party for this year. Did I already tell you that she wants to have a pool party? With her acquiescence, we are going to call it Celebration of Life and will honor her 4th birthday, her completion of the cancer treatment, AND Jasmin's half-birthday, as we had to cancel Jazzy's 1st birthday party due to Savannah's blood counts. I am looking forward to the party, but nervous about the weather. The weather has been ideal for past birthdays, but knowing my luck with planning outside events...I need to have a back-up plan. Anyway...we are looking forward to the big celebration!

Lastly, I am so excited because about one month, a gentleman contacted me saying he put a link to Savannah's site on his web site. Now Savannah has links to her site listed on 3 sites: cancerkids.org, acor.org/ped-onc and kennyray.com! Kenny's site calls for healing prayers for children who are ill. Plus Grammy told me today that she did a search for illinois/savannah, and a link to her site appeared, too! Wonderful.

Oh...the IL quilt is going smoothly. The requests are coming in with enthusiasm. So many families have thanked me for doing this, and I don't really want it. I just want them to know that our children deserve it. They deserve funding for research, and they deserve recognition for not giving up. I am so proud of this position. I never was much of a volunteer but have found that I feel so passionately about this one.

Well, I suppose I've said enough. Continue to pray for Savannah as she recovers from her chemotherapy treatment. The next couple of days are exhausting on her.

With Faith and Many Hugs,
Amy

Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 07:17 PM (CDT)

Hey Friends & Family,

Just a quick note (is it possible for me to write a short message?).

Savannah is doing GREAT. She ate some pizza tonight, which was a sight for sore eyes. She never eats while receiving chemotherapy because of nausea. Yet tonight she at nearly 4 pieces, and now Lance is re-heating some more for her!

Well, we have only one more round this treatment and then only 2 more in-patient stays. You have done beautifully, Savannah. You have proved your strength over and over again. You are compliant and willing. And through it all, your sweet disposition and compassionate personality has shone. You continue to think of others, and I am so proud of you.

I love you and your sister so much.

Mommy

Tuesday, April 24, 2001 at 05:26 PM (CDT)

Welcome Back!

We haven't updated much lately, and I should have kept up with that, because a lot has been going on to share with you. Savannah is in-patient now until Friday, and so far -- so good.

Savannah had the pleasure of going to Nana, Papa, and Aunt Mary Lou's for a couple of days late last week. Nana & I met half way between Woodridge & Springfield to switch Savannah. A while back, she had asked if she could go down there sometime "by herself" without Mommy, Daddy or Jasmin around. She wanted everyone down there to herself. Finally we were able to swing it...and she had the best time.

Savannah went out to lunch both days and helped Nana purchase decorations for Papa's birthday. When Nana asked her what colors they should get, Savannah responded, "Hmmm...maybe black or navy blue, because them's old people's colors."
We all had a good laugh over that...poor Papa...us laughing at his expense. Of course, Savannah had fun decorating.

Savannah also played with Jenna, AND Nana & Papa bought her a brand-new bike from Schwinn. It is pink and beautiful! (Ok, I know that goes without saying.) And she rides it like a pro! Of course it has training wheels. And luckily last weekend, after she returned home from Springfield, the weather was gorgeous, so she & our neighbors' daughter, Kelsey, rode up and down the sidewalk tirelessly.

Jasmin is down in Springfield now, while Savannah is in-patient. We hear she is having fun -- like always. Many of you who haven't seen her in awhile would marvel at her changes. She says so much, and she loves to be outdoors. Whenever I try to bring her inside (even with the promise we will go back outside -- you know, just after we get that diaper changed) she throws a kicking fit! That girl is strong! Regardless of that, she is my other angel. I am blessed.

I have been receiving lots of requests for the squares. I am so proud of the quilt project and pleased that the response is taking off. In August I will be hunting down you quilters to see if you can help me in putting the quilt together. From what I understand from other coordinators, often one quilt doesn't do it...some do two or three because of all the squares they receive!

More good news...earlier this month, the oncologists' clinic sponsored a "Guess the Number of Eggs in the Jar" contest. Many of the kids who wrote down a guess were around Savannah's age or younger, so I figured...hey, why not? I asked Savannah a number, and she told MR to guess. OK...so you've already figured out where this is going...Savannah WON the prize. A bike. Can you believe that? TWO BIKES IN A WEEK! As Savannah & I kid...You Go, Girl! She is delighted to have two, and this is nice b/c now we won't have to haul a bike back & forth to Springfield. She can leave one down there, so she can ride bikes with Jenna!

And more good news (doesn't Savannah deserve it)...Make-A-Wish finally has contacted us! The gears are in motion, as they say, to make HER wish come true. Savannah still wants to go to California to be on "Out of the Box." It's so great how her Make-A-Wish really ties in to who she is. She loves California b/c of one of her fave movies ("The [Old] Parent Trap" -- Haley Mills version), and she loves music & crafts...which is the format for "Out of the Box." Her coordinator at Make-A-Wish was impressed with what she called Savannah's UNIQUE wish. AND, it seems we got the thumbs up to go while Krissy & Mary Lou are in Coronado Island!

Other news...I have been a bit nervous lately about chance of relapse, as Savannah is nearing the end of treatment. With her unfavorable histiology (diffused anaplasia -- deformed cancer cells spread throughout the tumor), she is at high risk for recurrence. After doing some more research yesterday, I find some numbers and was quite disturbed. So disturbed that all I could was cuddle with Savannah tightly and pray that she is with me forever. Today I discussed with the oncologist the findings. One report said 1 in 2 diffused anaplasia cases recur and the other said 3 in 10. The oncologist said that Savannah's risk is 2 - 3 in 10! I am still nervous but am relieved to know that the odds are in her favor. It seems that generally Savannah slips through to be on the wrong side of the odds, but I feel confident that she will be on the right side this time. (i.e. only 6% of childhood cancer is Wilm's Tumor and only 5% of Wilm's Tumor cases are unfavorable histiology.) I know I shouldn't burden myself with additional worry, but as a parent, I have to be prepared, to understand, and as a parent, you do just worry. You do.

Thanks to Lincoln High School for the fantastic turn-out at this year's blood drive. And thanks to Laura Barhydt and her family for including us at her Bat Mitzvah. I am truly impressed with your dedication and spirit. You have so many reasons to be proud of your heritage. I see a young woman whose commitment to others and to learning will continue to take her far in this world. Like your mom said, life is full of many opportunities, seize them.

Thinking of You for the Day: Bridger Munk who is off treatment today. Go, Bridger! And to his mom...may the next few weeks be peaceful. I love you both!

A Side Note to Aunt Tricia: Savannah loves the gifts. The Dorothy pigtail-wig/baseball hat is awesome! She looks so cute in it.

And most importantly, I know I haven't been hot on writing thank you notes. Usually this is something I do, but circumstances withstanding...well...I guess and hope you all understand. Please know that all your love, support, gifts and dinners, etc...are accepted graciously and humbly. We wouldn't have made it thus far so smoothly without each and every one of you. Please BELIEVE that!

Submitted by my Uncle Tom -- This is lovely, and I am so glad he sent it to me:

Fine as Fine Can Be
G. Lightfoot
from Cold on the Shoulder (1975)

You’re as soft as the rose, you’re as sweet as the honey
You’re as warm as the bright morning sun
You’re as cool as the breeze on the last days of April
You’re as fine as fine can be

You’re like time is to space, you’re like faith is to trusting
You’re like blue is to feeling unkind
You’re like joy is to love, you’re like dreams are for chasing
You’re as fine as fine can be

And when I am gone my thoughts are all with you,
You’re my little angel, you see
You’re as bright as the moon, you’re as light as a feather
You’re as fine as fine can be

Like the rain is for the crops, you’re like food for my thoughts
You’re like true is for knowing what’s not
You’re like leaves off the trees, you’re like bees are buzzing
You’re as fine as fine can be.

You’re as bright as the moon, you’re as light as a feather
You’re as fine as fine can be



With Love and With Faith,
Amy

Wednesday, April 18, 2001 at 10:59 PM (CDT)

Hello Everyone--

I will make this post a short one, because it is late, I am tired and my feet are so cold that they are practically screaming at me to get them in a warm bed. (Ok...so maybe I should have tried putting on socks two and half hours ago when I sat down to this computer. If my mom knew I had cold feet right now, she'd be after me to get socks on...so please don't tell her!)

Savannah is doing fine. She had us all scared over Easter weekend, as she woke up Easter morning vomitting (4 horrific times). Her oncologist, Dr. Hayani, called in some nausea medication to the local Osco, and Lance's mom couldn't have raced faster than she did to pick it up. Savannah was better after that, but we all were shook up a bit. I still have a rotten time seeing her get sick.

On a FUN note, Savannah spent the entire day before Easterr having nothing but a GOOD time. She played outside all day long with her cousin, Jenna. The weather hit 83degrees, and maybe that's why she was sick the next morning and so lethargic on Easter. Too much FUN! Whatever the case, she was just so happy to be playing about like a normal kid on Saturday that Lance & I feared to interrupt the fun. Well, she needed it!

On Monday, Savannah seemed to be feeling more energetic, so I kept her recreation therapy playdate at preschool. Would I be wasting space by typing that she was in heaven back at school?

As scheduling would have it, Savannah was also Star of the Week at preschool this week. For those of you who don't know, we had to pull SAvannah from the program, but she her preschool teachers send home crafts and projects for her to do and still include *her* when they can. Her name was still on the list (created back in Sept.) for Star of the Week. So, Savannah visited the preschool class yesterday to present her Star of the Week packet. We only could stay for 30 minutes, because she had to leave to go to a clinic appointment (how rotten).

As we were leaving preschool, one little boy, shouted out "see you in 4-year old preschool!" He meant every word, and Savannah was going to hear him say that whether she liked it or not. What Joe said felt so good to me, because I know that somewhere, someone was getting through to him about Savannah. He knew she was returning, and he knew that bald or not she mattered and was still Savannah. And it was like, he was saying "Hey, I know you miss us here. But we'll all be back to see next year!" I could have picked Joe up and kissed him all over right then and there!

Thanks, Aunt Timi, for rounding up the Lincoln teen-agers to donate blood. You gave me chills, and I just want to say thanks to all of you who donate your blood or have signed the back of your driver's licenses to donate organs. I am counting on you to help out!

And thanks, to those responding about the quilt. I am really excited for the end-result!

Lastly, just a quick congratulations to Mary Mullen, and her fiance, Rob! I am so happy for you!

With that, I will close in faith, love and hope (don't let it fade...)

Amy (so much for a short post, eh?)

P.S. Have you hugged someone today? Have you told someone today that you love them? Have you told someone they are important to you?

Wednesday, April 11, 2001

Hello, Friends & Family!

Savannah has been doing great since she returned home from the hospital. She is back on the immunity booster shots but understands she needs them to survive! Luckily Spring is here, so Savannah is cheered by the thoughts of warmer days. Whenever the weather cooperates, we do get her outside for some fresh air.

Plus...our outdoors baby, Jazzy, is back...and she asks to be outside often, so we do what we can. Aunt Bossy took Jasmin on a walk everyday while she was down there, and I am so pleased that Jasmin became addicted to outside walks, because now I have more ammo for buying a double jogger. Savannah is very excited about the possibility of us owning a double jogger. If anyone knows of anyone selling theirs...please let me know. I'd rather check into used ones before purchasing a new one (save $$), although we did get our money back over and over from buying the single jogger brand-new.

I am elated to have us all back together again at home as a family. Certainly Jazzy we can tell how much Jazzy loves Nana and Papa and Mary Lou's house b/c she comes home so happy. Jasmin has learned a lot while she was gone, and I swear she grew again. She can say Savannah's name now (ok...it's more like Yan-Yan), and today she spied a picture of Lance's dad, pointed to it and said Papa. It's so fun to hear her say names! I asked her where Bossy was, and she started looking around. This morning she saw my mom for the first time since her return home, and she gave my mom a big hug and pat on the back (yes, pat on the back!). Of course, climbing is still the name of her game, and she loves to play dollhouse. This morning she put a stuffed animal and a play bottle in their play shopping cart and took the bunny for a walk. It was so adorable! I just enjoy watching her. And Savannah has such fun encouraging Jasmin to try new things.

I haven't said this enough...THANKS TO YOU ALL FOR CONTINUING TO PRAY, LOVE AND HAVE INTEREST IN SAVANNAH'S FIGHT. Your encouragement is still needed on our end, and we love to read your letters, guestbook postings and emails. We love you all.

We are waiting anxiously for Make-A-Wish to contact Savannah. Our social worker advised me last week that we should be hearing from them sometime this week. Savannah seems set in her decision to go to California to see Out of the Box (and hopefully be in an episode). Anna, our social worker at Hope, believed Make-A-Wish could grant it. (Sometimes they have them make other wishes -- they won't do pets or pools, I guess.) I am hoping we can plan the trip to coincide with Mary Lou and Krissy's trip to Coronado Island in late June to early July. Savannah will have finished chemo (though she can go to CA at anytime for Make-A-Wish --even while in treatment), and I think it would be good for her to visit her relatives in CA. Plus who wouldn't want to take a long vacation there anyway?

Well, I hope I didn't offend anyone in my last entry. I was afraid that I didn't come across as I meant to when I said it'd be stupid of us to take SAvannah down to Springfield just after she was released from Hope. I meant it'd be stupid of us to take her anywhere just after being released...not that taking her to Springfield was stupid. Did you all understand that? Hope so. Springfield is where she rejuvenates and escapes from the grind of cancer treatment. (me, too)

And I know I haven't said this enough...please go donate your blood. If you want to know where to go, please e-mail and I will get you the information. Please, please, please. I am pledging now that after Savannah completes chemotherapy, I will go once a month.

Lastly, please e-mail me for information on sponsoring Children's Cancer Awareness Projects (quilt project) or for information on decorating a square for the Illinois state quilt for Children with Childhood Cancer. Do you know a child with cancer to do a square for? Donations can be any increment...no matter how small, your donation will matter. Had any of you known much about childhood cancer prior to Savannah's diagnosis? No...that's because the funding isn't there and only the parents and grandparents and survivors are the ones who support awareness (and make it happen!). If anything, please order your gold ribbon which symbolizes childhood cancer awareness. Wear on it on your coat, wear it to church or wear it everyday. The link is below.

Thanks...love...hugs...warm thoughts...
Amy

Sunday, April 08, 2001 at 07:45 AM (CDT)

Today we greet you with wonderful news! Savannah's oncologists pushed up her chemotherapy treatments, so she could be released last night instead of today! We were discharged at 6:00p.m. last night and had a celebration dinner at Pizza Capri. Had to get in a trip out before her white blood count bottoms out.

Savannah is tired this morning but looks beautiful. She had her usual one unit of blood transfusion before she was released. And didn't she need it! The poor thing laid in bed all day yesterday, as her hemoglobin levels were so low. Her color and energy came back with a roar, though! Thanks to the donor whomever and wherever you are. Now let's just pray for no fevers.

The weather is lovely here. Yesterday it reach 83 degrees, and today it is supposed to be 75 degrees, but I am betting it will go higher. I think we will take Savannah for a convertible ride. And then later on, she and I plan going running to the park! (Savannah is helping me to write this entry, and she is clapping for an outing at the park! Yea!) A friend of mine, who is a mother of a child with cancer, agreed with me that getting out in the fresh air is more therapeutic than being cooped up inside. Perhaps a more riskier option with germs and all...but we have to take advantage of the weather while it lasts. You just know Chicago is going to get hit with another bout of freezing weather!

Lance left last night to go to pick up Jasmin. I wish we could be there with them, but to take Savannah travelling is stupid...not risky just stupid. Lance & Jazzy will be home on Monday night, because Lance has Cardinals opening day tickets. Yes, another season of rivarly in the Olson household. (I will always be proud of my Northside Cubbies...right Grandmother????)

Savannah wants you to know she is at Grammy's house having a sleepover. Oh, Savannah is my sweetheart!

Thanks, Tricia, for adding the other nicknames for Jasmin. I knew I was forgetting a few of the other "favorites" (if you can call them that...)! Yes, we do adore her! For those of you who read Tricia's guestbook posting, Papa calls Jazzy "Coffee Filters" because everytime she is at their house, she loves to carry around the coffee filters. It sounds so absurd...the whole thing...but it is funny and cute!

OK...Check out the new pictures! And just think...only 3 MORE TREATMENTS LEFT!!!!!

_______________________________________________________________________________________

From "Here Comes the Sun" off of The Beatles Abbey Road Album

Little darling it’s been a long cold lonely winter,
Little darling it feels like years since it’s been here.
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
And I say it’s all right...
...Little darling I feel that ice is slowly melting,
Little darling it seems like years since it’s been clear,
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
It’s all right, it’s all right.
________________________________________________________________________________________

WE LOVE YOU, SAVANNAH!
WE MISS YOU, JASMIN (XOXOXOXOXOX)!

Thursday, April 05, 2001 at 09:14 AM (CDT)

Good morning! This hospital stay has been going by quickly, which surprises both of us! We have been working diligently on a very special project for our family, and Savannah has kept entertained (and so have I) with the work.

My friend from Andersen Consulting, Kelly, came to visit us last night, and it was just so nice. Kelly is such an upbeat person, having many obstacles in her own life to hurdle, and her warmth and smiles provide such encouragement. Thank you, Kelly, also for the American Girl gifts!

Thanks to all for signing the guestbook or emailing us. We truly appreciate your comments, and of course, we love to hear how you are doing. We miss you all and are anxious to resume to a schedule that doesn't include hospital stays and nightly injections. We know that Savannah's 4th birthday party will be the biggest bash Woodridge has ever seen! :)

Jasmin is having a ball in Cantrall. She & Aunt Bossy have kept busy with the warm weather, and I imagine Aunt Krissy will be racing home from school today (with the weather forecasted for nearly 70 degrees) to take Jazzy out on the deck or into the new playhouse to play. Hugs and Kisses, Miss Jazzy Leigh, J-LO, Jazz-Hands, Jazzers Olson. We love you so much.

Love,
Amy & Savannah

Monday, April 02, 2001 at 09:03 PM (CDT)

Hope you all had a nice of a weekend as we did. Though it was awful hard to leave Jasmin last night, we had such a fun time this weekend in Springfield. Savannah had her nail party, tea party, cuddle session with Nana, mall extravaganza, and an impromptu playdate with Jenna (a cousin who is 4 and lives a couple of houses down from Nana's). Lance got to hang with the guys and see Arizona proceed to the Championship. I got to take care of Sam Friday night (my bonding time) and go out with Tricia & Rachel Saturday night for a few cocktails and lots of laughs! Jasmin got to go outside a lot (that's all she needs!).

Tomorrow Savannah is admitted for 5 nights of in-patient chemotherapy. (I hope I have enough crafts packed to keep her entertained.) Including this week, she has only 4 more to go! I can't believe we are closer to finishing than beginning. Let's hope that'll be it. But, it really is a downer that Savannah has to go back into the hospital tomorrow...she is happy and feeling really good. Today she and I spent the morning and early afternoon together just running errands. We had such a nice day. Later in the afternoon we picked up Grammy and saw "Spy Kids" (which was very cute). Then she came home and played with her neighbor, Kelsey, for a bit. Believe it or not, Savannah is still awake and busy (it's 9:30p.m.). This time next week, we'll have ONLY sat on the couch all day. (Ok...so here I go again, being selfish. I should be thanking G-d that she can get treatment and that she is here with us rather than feeling she is being robbed.)

OK on that note...GO DONATE! And, congratulations to Dan & Rhonda on their engagement! We are so so so happy for you!

Lastly, to Savannah because this song makes me think of you:

Your Song
(Music by Elton John and Lyrics by Bernie Taupin)

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen


Love and a Pinky Shake, too --Mommy

Friday, March 30, 2001

Today we are going to Nana, Papa and Aunt Bossy's to visit everyone. Savannah, Jasmin and I were there last weekend, and Savannah was heartbroken to leave. So, I decided we'd return this weekend to drop off Jasmin. Jazzy will be staying with them while Savannah has in-patient chemotherapy next week.

Our little trip to Cantrall was a lot of fun. It seems the days there are filled with laughter, and we all are rejuvenated. Maybe it's just a nice break from our routine. Jasmin showed off her new shoes and her other tricks except for the blowing kisses one! She can point to her ear, eye and nose; she can "give 5" and she can climb all over of course (she did show off her climbing from the dining room chair to the dining room table during dinner one night! Yes...teaching a 14-month old manners is a challenge!). Jasmin is just so in-love with Sam, too. She only gives hugs and kisses to him! Normally a rather rowdy girl, Jasmin tries her best to be tender and gentle with him. Tricia and I crack up over how she "speaks" in this high, squeaky voice to him. A baby talking baby-talk to a baby! Too cute. Wish I knew what she is saying to him.

Savannah had a slumber party Sunday night at the Olsons. Nana, Aunt Bossy, Aunt Krissy, Aunt Tricia, Aunt Rachel and I were attendance. We ate popcorn, watched a movie and played Duck-Duck-Goose. Savannah was in her prime and was so delighted! Like Jazzy, Savannah is IN LOVE with Sam. I feel like my girls almost have a little brother, and I just want to continue to nurture the bond between them...and eventually between all the cousins. I already see that Savannah would do anything for Sam. Ok...I have to quit writing on this because I am tearing up.

I have been a bit sad lately about the cancer. My moods come and go. Today I feel so down for all these kids and for Savannah. She is so tender and good and loving and kind and cooperative and generous and intelligent and well-mannered and sweet. Lately she loves to kiss me all over my face, and hug me and cuddle. Tuesday night she was especially tender, and I just lost it. I try not to show her my pain, but her tenderness and goodness cut right through me, and I thought how could someone so innocent and good have to go through all she has. Hair loss, surgery, daily injections given by her PARENTS, chemotherapy (POISON), radiation therapy (being in a dark room all alone and having to hold perfectly still on a hard table while a huge machine the size of a car wraps around your body which is marked up with permanent marker like a treasure map). I couldn't help it. I was being selfish in feeling like she was robbed. I know that I have to think positive and remind myself that she is here with me now...but she broke my heart. The tears just started streaming, and Savannah asked why I was sad. I told her I felt horrible for her, that she is so good, and you know what she did? She wiped the tears away, hugged me and kissed me. How unfair of me to allow her to comfort me. She shouldn't feel anymore burden than she does, but that moment I wanted to savor forever. The cuddling and hugging was too good to be true.

Just when I thought I couldn't love her anymore, each day I find that I love her more than the day before.

Love,
Amy

Submitted to me from my high school friend Kelly McCartney Mireault...

You cannot catch a child's spirit by running after it; you must
stand still.
It will soon return by itself, for love.
-Arthur Miller

Friday, March 23, 2001

"Piglet?"

"Yes, Pooh."

"Nothing..... I just wanted to be sure of you."


--A fellow Ped-Onc parent/member posted this yesterday in honor of a young girl still battling who was released from the hospital after being in it for what seemed like over a month. I loved it and wanted to share it with you.


Savannah is feeling ok today. The last week still has its up and downs. One minute she is jumping up and down and trying to wrestle with Jasmin (yes, you read that correctly), and the next minute she is in tears, because she "just doesn't feel good." But this is nothing new, as the last few weeks have continued to be a rollercoaster ride.

Just want to close asking that if you see any quote or poem or anything that touches you, makes you laugh or just makes you "think of Savannah," would you please e-mail it to me so I may post it on her site? I think it'd be nice. Or even if what you read has some kind of honor for our children (healthy or sick).

Thanks...and have an AWESOME weekend!

Lots of Love,
Amy

Wednesday, March 21, 2001

Hello Friends & Family!

Hope this day finds you all cheery from the sunshine and FINALLY warm weather. Who didn't feel like it is a balmy day yesterday? Of course, we took advantage of it, and my mom & I took the girls to the zoo after Savannah's clinic visit.

Savannah led us around...requesting the exhibits to visit. We had such a nice afternoon, even though we couldn't get Savannah the chocolate ice cream she wanted. She just couldn't understand that the zoo doesn't carry ice cream year-round! Too cute. Eventually Grammy took her downtown Downers Grove to get a scoop. Supposedly she had about 5 licks and threw the cone away. That's Savannah for you!

Jasmin was in heaven at the zoo. She is such a riot. She just tottered along and loved to point out the animals. We had a nice treat of hearing a lion actually roar, and I thought it'd scare the two, if not Jazzy at least. But no! They loved it all.

Jasmin is so funny...she understands just about everything we say to her. She has always had a fascination with shoes, and yesterday I put on her a new pair of Disney Dalmation sneakers, and I said, "Jazzy, check out your new shoes!" She grinned such a "hotshot" grin (as Savannah would say) and marched over to the tile in the kitchen to do her new shoe dance. She is still showing off her new shoes!

Good news...Savannah is FINISHED with out-patient chemotherapy! Yesterday was her last day, so now all she has to do is in-patient. Yesterday was week 13. Way To Go, Savannah! You did it, Sweetie! I'm so proud of her and how she has coped with all this. Amazing.

Her counts are low now, so we continue with the immunity booster shots until Sunday. I know it probably wasn't the smartest thing to take her out and about yesterday, but as you all know, the warm weather is such a spirit booster...and Savannah and Jazzy were due!!!

That's all for now.

Lots of Love,
Amy

Monday, March 19, 2001 at 12:28 PM (CST)

Rightfully so, I am getting grief over not updating Savannah's site more often! Of course, those who do it, only jest with love. I suppose I should try to update at least three times a week, especially since I know that most of you check Savannah's site regularly. I'll give it a shot!

The hospital stay went fine last week for Savannah. Amanda was there, and as usual they hung together as much as possible and charmed the med staff endlessly. Amanda had a rough go of it this time around, and we hope her at-home-recovery went well. Her mom had a feeling it was going to be rough. Amanda has two and half years of chemotherapy, but the next two months are a break for her. We will miss her but are glad that she gets rests during the long haul.

We also saw Haley for one night. Haley is the 20-month old who also has Wilm's Tumor. She was diagnosed about 2 weeks after Savannah. Haley was hospitalized because her port-a-catheter was infected, so it had to be removed. Today she is in surgery to get the new one installed. Prayers to you, Miss Haley.

I had a rough time in the hospital this time around. I couldn't sleep during the hours of 1 - 4a.m. I don't know why, because usually I sleep pretty well there. Anyway, my sinus infection is back again. And I was in bed all day yesterday (ok...so I'll admit that was partly from going out on St. Patty's Day...not smart!), but I was also just run down from the infection. My mom came over this morning so I could rest, and I still feel lousy. I am on Amoxicillin and am trying my best to keep Savannah away from me.

So I am sipping tea as I write you, because my throat kills and my head is splitting in two. Oh, how sorry I bet you all are for me! Ha ha.

Savannah has been recuperating just fine from this round of treatment. I gave her some nausea med when she woke up Saturday morning, so she didn't vomit. Lance didn't know I did this, so he didn't think to do it Sunday morning, and she did throw up. However, she got over it quickly, and she has been in incredibly wonderful spirits -- unlike last time.

Jasmin came to visit us in the hospital, and that was such a treat. Of course, Savannah and I showed her off to all of the nurses. She is still climbing like crazy and can now get up on the kitchen chairs and climb on top of the kitchen table! And she is so feisty about it. I suppose next time I write, the kitchen chairs will be a top of the table to keep her from climbing.

Well that's all for now. I will write soon!

And this is for Lance...go Illini!!!

Lots of Love and Hugs,
Amy

Tuesday, March 13, 2001 at 08:18 AM (CST)

I woke this morning to big snowflakes falling fast, and I thought "here we go again." How many times have we had to deal with major snow during treatment? It blizzard how many inches the day of her surgery? Our parents remember that all too well. But luckily it has tapered off.

We decided to keep Jasmin here at home with my parents during this short stay. It was a tough decision, but I finally made this choice, because I think Jasmin needs a break from being traipsed all over. Certainly she gets more attention in Springfield than she does here! LOL. It's rough, you know?

Well, I still have some packing to do. And I just had a request in for some "milk in a red straw cup." (To Anne M.: was food and beverage specialist on your resume??? ha ha.)

Will check in later this week to let you all know how chemotherapy goes.

Savannah sez: I just love Old Navy. It is so cute and so fashionable. **(How I got a kick out of fashionable)**

Thinking of You for the Day: Chris & Michelle B. Chris is a cancer kid who is off treatment but is having troubling pain as of late. They are off to see the doc today. You are in our prayers.
And Happy 2nd Anniversary to Tricia & Fred! :)

Thanks for the Day: To Anne M. for last night's IM session.

Lighting a candle this morning in honor of Yossi. Like the thousands of others who have followed his story and have loved him through his mother's eyes and his web site, I wish I could attend his funeral this morning. Instead, I will pause and pray.

Much love,
Amy



Love,
Amy

Monday, March 12, 2001 at 02:15 PM (CST)

Dear Friends & Family,

So the dreaded day of Savannah connecting cancer with death hit us last night. Savannah asked us why Yossi died. When we told her he had leukemia (which she knows is a type of cancer), she looked stunned. We let her process the information, while we waited holding our breath for her return response. She quietly said that her tumor is gone so she wouldn't die and that he must have had a lot of tumors. Lance explained that the cancer was in his blood, that he did not have any tumors, and that his body did all it could to beat the cancer but it was just too hard for him. We told her he was safe with G-d (I do not spell out His name in recognition of those religions which find it offensive...). She asked if he was an angel, and we nodded yes. She seemed relieved and satisfied with the answer. I told her that he was now watching over all the children with cancer and praying they would get better. Savannah responded that she had a guardian angel and wanted to know who her guardian angel was and how she could meet her guardian angel. Of course, Lance told her she wouldn't meet hers for a LONG time.

Anyway, we got off pretty easy with that discussion. Once again Savannah amazed me in that she found something good from this monster (in that Yossi's soul is now in a better place).

So this morning I drive Savannah to pre-school for another recreation therapy day, and guess what? If the darling doesn't pull another one of those serious talks out of her Scooby-Dooby-Doo Hat on me!!!!! This one? She wants to know "where she came from before she came around"! Translation: Where was she before she was born? The next thing I knew I was flipping the radio off, and we were in a 5 minute discussion on babies. Argh. Should I have diverted attention initially rather than wait 5 minutes when the conversation got too over my head????

Basically, the conversation started out with Savannah asking about her tumor. I told her cells which are building blocks didn't build right. Ok, so that was good enough for her. And then...boom! Savannah asked how I got into outer space for G-d to put her my belly. I told her that He lets Mommy & Daddy know it is time to be blessed with a baby. She accepted that pretty quick! Phew. Then Savannah asked if she looked like she does now. So I had to explain all about building blocks and how she was smaller than my fingernail. We talked about all of her body parts being added on...her being in my belly...and then I figured out that she is still 3, and I could change the subject!!! So I pointed out a house I thought was pretty, and for the next 2 minutes of our drive we pointed out houses we like, and I got off having to go into anymore detail on where babies come from! So...now...am I the idiot or what for not coming up with the diversion technique earlier? Did I lie to her at all? Was I right in trying to make the discussion satisfying to her without being far-fetched! And then of all things...quickly changing the subject from where babies come from to pretty houses down the street! Bless the 3-year olds.

And that has been our excitement lately. Jasmin is now sick...Savannah loved her recreation therapy morning...and I am still reeling from two, deep conversations with my 3-year old. Conversations which are nearly over-my-head, and I am 28!!!! LOL.

Love to you all and may you find some inspiration today...

Amy

Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 10:46 AM (CST)

Lance & I woke this morning to the news that Yosef Chaim ("Yossi") has passed. As you know, Lance & I had grown fond of this young teen and his family through his parents' posts on his web site as well as his mom's posts on the on-line member support group. Yes, we grieve, and yes, we know he is in a better place. But I am still selfish and think these kids belong here. When I was 7 and my cousin died at age 3 of leukemia, my mom tried to console me by saying that G-d needs some children up there, too. It worked then, but it doesn't now. I know it's selfish, but I don't care. This physical world needs all the good it can get, and Yossi embodied all that was fair and kind. His parents and family need him, and they should have him. However, I will let it go, and just pray that we find a cure.

Please say a prayer for our dear Yossi and his parents. I can only imagine the torment they are enduring. And please continue to live out Yossi's legacy of faith, compassion and hope.

CANCER SUCKS!

Savannah is over her cold...and I finally am over it, too. I was in bed all Friday night and all of Saturday. So of course, Lance has had a "pleasant" weekend. :)

Savannah will be admitted for in-patient chemotherapy this Tuesday. Ugh. We will make it through, especially if Savannah gets to see Amanda.

Fun stuff to share, because, boy, don't we all need it. Tricia & Fred have asked Lance & I to be Sammy's godparents! I can't tell you all how I beamed at their request, and how my heart swells with pride to be his godmother. He has brought me so much joy already, and I didn't think he could bring anymore, and then Tricia & Fred bestow such an honor upon us. Again, Sammy has brought light to our dimmest days. Thank you, my angel.

Fun Stuff #2: I am officially the IL State Quilt Coordinator for Childrens Cancer Awareness Projects! Each state presents a quilt with squares that represent children who are being treated for cancer, who have survived cancer, or who have lost their battle to cancer. If you would like to make a square for a child, please email me at amyolson11@yahoo.com. I can send you a square or give you instructions on going about making your square. If you live in a different state and wish to have a square submitted for your state, please email me as well, because I can get you in touch with your state's coordinator.

Fun Thing #3: Savannah is starting to understand the concept behind Make-A-Wish, and I think she has made her decision. Of course, we have emphasized to her that this is HER decision and that she CAN change her mind but once she tells the counselor what her wish is, she has to stick with it. Her wish? To visit California and to be on a "Out of The Box" episode. "Out of the Box" is a Disney program that focuses on imagination. A theme is picked for the show and the actors create crafts, stories and music based on the theme! The show is one of Savannah's favorites, and she has been fascinated with California since watching the old "The Parent Trap" a gazillion times.

Well...I have to sign off now, as daughter #2 is on one of her "I Am Tired and I Need a Nap but Will Fight It To THe Bitter End" rampages.

Please go donate your blood (thanks a million to those of you who HAVE). These kids NEED us.

All of Our Love and Still In Unfaltering Faith,
The Olsons

Wednesday, March 07, 2001

Dear Loved Ones & New Visitors,

Savannah’s feeling a bit better. Each day has its trying moments for her, but I see that she has more energy than the day before. This morning seemed like back to normal, as she was ready to play early on. Lately, Savannah had been resting and laying about all morning. So…this was a welcome sign of her strength returning!

Savannah, bless her angelic heart, still proves to amaze me. Yesterday she told me again that she wanted to be a doctor at Hope Children’s Hospital when she grows up. I told her to keep that dream alive and believe in it. She said that if her cousin Sammy had to go to the hospital or got sick she would take care of him and that maybe when she grew up she’d take care of sick babies as well as little kids. Her love knows no boundaries.

Savannah made a new friend at clinic this week. Her name is Jasmine, and she is 7. Jasmine has leukemia, and I suppose the reason why Savannah wanted to become friends was because the girl’s name is the same as her sister’s name. After about 5 minutes of play, Savannah bonded with Jasmine and delighted in her company. Jasmine walked her around clinic and showed her where to get the “good” stickers!

A while ago I wrote you all about a young teen, Yossi, who is battling to recover from his bone marrow transplant in early February. Yossi struggles by the minute, and his body is failing. Lance & I read the updates to his site several times a day and our hearts ache for the young spirit and for his parents who keep constant vigil at his bedside. Yossi has been sedated since transplant, has had round-the-clock transfusions and has contracted a fungus which required an experimental drug to help fight. It seems bleak…His parents have had to make their peace, and though we all keep hope, their parents have asked for us to pause today at 2:00p.m. EST and say Psalm 13 for Yossi. We look for an end to his suffering and a great turn in his fight. Please pause with us today. Please pray for Yossi. We have grown to love him dearly and want him to triumph. His mother, Leah, has posted Psalm 13 on his site. If you wish to visit his site, the link is:
http://www.geocities.com/mugsisme/yossi.html

God Bless You,
Lance & Amy

Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 09:13 PM (CST)

Hello and hope you enjoyed your weekend!

Just thought I should let you all know that Savannah is feeling a bit better. Last week was rough, but on Friday she showed signs of coming back around. Friday afternoon Aunts Tricia & Rachel showed up to go to a concert with me, so until we left, Savannah delighted in their visit. Lance went to see The Bulls play that night, so the girls spent the evening with Grammy & Gramps.

Saturday was a lazy day...Savannah was disappointed her aunts had to leave, but later that day her spirits perked up a bit. The weather on Saturday was spring-like here! 50 degrees! Lance & I were able to take the girls outside for about an hour. They loved it!

Right before we went outside, Lance & I noticed Savannah's umbilical hernia has recurred. The pediatrician told me to call the surgeon on Monday, so we will let you know. My heart broke, because I felt like she's had enough to deal with and now this again. Saturday night she kept complaining her tummy hurt like when she first got sick, but Lance & I weren't sure if she was just saying that because she knew we talked to the doctor about the hernia. (You know...one of those attention-seeking ploys.)

Savannah was pretty wiped out all day today. She played just a bit, and we could see that her energy level is still not too hot, but I am hoping that'll change in a few more days. At least she made it this far without another neutropenic fever!

Jazzy is doing fine. She climbs on their playtable and playchairs an awful lot and has attempted other climbs. I think by the end of this week, she will be able to climb up on the couch! It's scary!!!! Yet, I just adore watching her, because she loves to do what she shouldn't, and I don't remember Savannah being like that at all. Jasmin is my fireball.

I mentioned in my last post that Savannah made a new friend during her last stay at Hope. Amanda Carberry is a sparkly 3-yr old who is like Savannah in many ways. She smiles easily, loves to play kitchen and watch movies. She is cuddle-bug and a doll. Within the first 10 minutes of meeting her, she snuck into my heart. Amanda was diagnosed with leukemia exactly one week after Savannah was diagnosed with Wilm's Tumor. Amanda was at Hope for in-patient chemo treatments, too, so the two were able to spend lots of time together, because neither were sick.

They ADORE each other, and the floor nurses thought they were too cute together. Amanda turned Savannah on to Betty Spaghetty dolls, and the two would hop hand-in-hand down the hall to and from the playroom. Each would hold her Betty Spaghetty dolls in the other free hand and hop along forgetting they were leashed to IV poles. And I believe, for a few minutes here and there, the girls, myself, and Mrs. Carberry all forget we were in the hospital. Life seemed almost normal.

Well...that's all for now. Much love to you all.

Amy

Wednesday, February 28, 2001

Dear Friends & Family,

Lance & I have not been as vigilant with updates as we hoped. I don't know how the time manages to slip away, but it does.

Savannah was released from in-patient chemotherapy this past Sunday. She had a round of out-patient on Tuesday, and the last few days since she was released have been exhausting for her. My heart breaks as I write this, because no one should ever have to go through this. Ever. Savannah is too sweet and kind and innocent to have to vomit twice a day, take oral medications a few times daily, be constipated (sorry...you should know the truth of it all!!!), and be house-bound because of nasty germs. Savannah is wiped out. She is nauseated, lethargic and just wants to be held. A few times during the day she finds a bit of strength and energy to play, but the playtime is short-lived.

These days have been rough, BUT I should ease all of your minds by emphasizing that the cancer, treatment and new lifestyle have not soured Savannah's world in the least. She still views the world as a place of caring, love & dedication.

I have to sign off now but look for a new update tomorrow. I have to tell you about Savannah's new friend at Hope!

Oh - and the chest X-Ray also came back negative! Whew-hoo! Go Savannah! Go Savannah! Go Savannah! Keep it up girl...you are over one-third of the way there...you are our inspiration and our light...keep it up!!!!

Love,
Amy

Wednesday, February 21, 2001 at 01:43 PM (CST)

Helo Everyone,

Sorry it has been a while since the last update. Savannah was unable to be admitted for chemo last Friday due to low blood counts, she was able however to make a trip to Cantrall. Counts were too low for chemo, but no danger for travel or exposure. I think it was just what Savannah needed. A nice weekend away from the house, Savannah had a really great time.

Savannah was admitted for her 5 days of chemo yesterday, 02/20/01. She underwent an ultra sound today on her abdomen, and everything looks good. She also had an x-ray of her chest, we have not heard results on that yet. Amy tells me that Savannah is doing great in the hospital and she has made a new friend as well.
I miss them both very much, Jasmin too.

Thats all for now. A special thanks this week to Dale Dirks. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

The Olsons.

Tuesday, February 13, 2001 at 06:05 PM (CST)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Savannah is admitted this Friday for in-patient chemotherapy for 5 nights. Jasmin will be having fun at Nana, Papa, and Mary Lou's (a/k/a Aunt Bossy). Of course, none of us are looking forward to the whole deal (except for Jazzy), but you gotta do what you gotta do. Savannah has an abdominal ultrasound this round, too, so we'll get to see what's going on in there. Hopefully nothing but what is supposed to be going on!

Check out the photo album for new pics. Our Valentines! Aren't they too sweet? For those of you who wonder, Savannah's peach fuzz is BLONDE not red! (It looks red in the pic w/ cuz Sammy.)

Have a Happy Valentine's Day, and give lots of hugs and love. We send our love to you.

Thinking of You for the Day: Nana, Papa, Aunts Krissy, Rachel, Tricia, Timi, Carol, Bossy and Uncles Eric, Fred, and Brad. And to the rest of the Springfield crew...we miss you!

Thanks for the Day: To Kay & Don Schlosser for remembering the girls every week. They love your mail!

With Faith and With Love,
The Woodridge Olsons

Sunday, February 11, 2001 at 08:28 PM (CST)

Hello, Friends! Hope you all had a pleasant weekend. We were hit by a very cold temperatures and a snowstorm on Friday night, but today was a bit warmer. But will the warmer weather ever get here????!

Savannah had a fantastic weekend filled with fun, family and friends. Saturday my friend from high school, Bob, came out to visit the girls and watch the Illinois game with Lance. Saturday night Megan came to babysit the girls so that Lance & I could go see "Hannibal" (sequel to "Silence of the Lambs"). I don't know why I ever agreed to go to that movie. Ugh! Anyway the girls had a blast with Megan, and I think they all had missed each other terribly. Both Savannah & Jasmin greeted Megan with a big smile as she came in the house. That was so great to witness. And Megan even brought Savannah a card signed by the church's high school choir.

Today Nana, Papa & Aunt Krissy visited us. Savannah had us all (Lance & me, included) dancing around in her Disney wigs to her toddler tunes. We took pictures, so you can be certain I'll be posting them for some laughs (sorry, Kris!). We ate lots, talked some, danced of course, laughed often and had just a really nice time. We were all sad when it was time for them to leave.

Savannah has been receiving mail just about everyday. A Brownie troop from Naperville sent her Valentine's card just this week! It's amazing how people respond. And with that, I'll sign off.

Keep the Faith and With Love,
Amy

Friday, February 09, 2001 at 02:57 PM (CST)

Dear Family, Friends & New Visitors,

Savannah is doing great today. Her chemotherapy went just fine this morning, and she looks fantastic!

Savannah is becoming quite adept at using the computer. Her favorite sites are pbskids.org, playhousedisney.com and nickjr.com. She enjoys the Barbie site, too. If you have any other suggestions on friendly sites for three-year olds, please e-mail or call me!

Rather than closing with Savannah sez, Thinking of You for the Day and Thanks for the Day...I'm giving each of you an assignment. This weekend:

*tell someone you love them and why
*let someone else know they make you feel special and why
*send a handwritten letter or card to someone whom you haven't written for awhile, and you keep saying "I need to contact so-and-so!"

I have found that I started letting my friends know how much I care for them, whereas I used to feel "goofy," doing that. But you know what? It makes me feel good sharing those feelings, but more importantly, I believe it makes my friends feel really good, too. And recently, I had someone special to me let me know how important I am to them, and you know it made me feel good! Surely you tell your spouses and children how you feel, but when was the last time you told your parents or your friends or your siblings?

And with that...Have a wonderful weekend!

With Faith & Love,
Amy, Lance, Savannah & Jasmin

Thursday, February 08, 2001 at 10:26 PM (CST)

Dear Friends, Family & New Visitors,

I write to you tonight with a heavy heart, because while Savannah, Jasmin, my mom & I had a rejuvenating day, a fellow on-line support member's son was and is fighting for his life. Please say a prayer for healing for Yossi, age 12, from Virginia. He has leukemia and had a bone marrow transplant last week in Minnesota and is fighting to make this chance at life work. I think often of this boy who traveled so far from home, who is at such an impressionable age, who is so full of spunk and life and who is now in tremendous pain and suffering. I think of his mother who keeps constant vigil and who feels so helpless. I think of his father who is in pain himself while making arrangements for caregivers for the other four siblings. And I think of the other four siblings who must bear the pain of an absent brother, father and mother. My heart aches for the devastation this monster causes. I have faith Yossi, a true fighter, will pull through, but how I do pray for healing and peace. Please find time to pause during your day and pray for them.

Of course, you all probably did not want me to bring this sadness to your day, and so I will lighten things up a bit by telling you that Savannah had a fun day. And I suppose this is just how life is...when one cancer family is suffering, another has a moment to experience some peace...and that is ok.

We took Savannah and Jasmin to The American Girl Store today as a spur of the moment trip. We ate at Cheesecake Factory for lunch and then headed over to the store for some shopping. What a day! I can't decide who enjoyed the store more...Savannah or me. Since today was a school day and awful rainy, the store was practically empty. Such a treat! We were able to wander about without worrying about our cumbersome stroller and "bee-line" shopping techniques!

Our day ended with a visit from my dear friend. Savannah & Jasmin played and danced...and dressed and re-dressed her Kit doll and Jasmin's Bitty Baby doll (American Girl dolls). Just a special day.

Jasmin's teeth are coming in fast & furious. And I guess this is just how she is. Once something starts with her, it comes on head strong. Ex: her teeth and her talking. She barely uttered a few words two weeks ago, and now I've lost count of all she says!

Savannah sez; To my friend Karen about her husband, Mike: "Karen, when you go home do you give Mike kisses and tell him 'I love you?'"

Thinking of You For the Day: Yossi. And, Stu & Glen (have a safe drive and an excellent trip...)

Thanks for the Day: Mom for all the trouble I cause.

With love,
Amy, Lance, Savannah & Jasmin

Tuesday, February 06, 2001 at 10:04 AM (CST)

Dear Friends & Family,

Savannah had a really pleasant day yesterday. She was busy with friends, and all the fun brought some sunshine to her cabin fever.

The day started out with a pre-school day just for her and schoolmate, Megan! They played, read books, sang, dressed up as princesses, and danced. Many thanks to Mrs. Weil for allowing Savannah to be a pre-schooler again. (Yes, my heart broke in two when we entered her room and greeted her teacher! She belongs here, I thought...not in a hospital...)

After "pre-school," or more appropriately, recreation therapy, Savannah went to Tori's house for a playdate. I imagine the two found a way to cause trouble, but when I arrived to pick up Savannah, they were cuddling on the floor, watching a movie and eating cookies. The two didn't want to depart, but finally Savannah left Tori with a hug and kiss.

Savannah rounded out her day with a short trip to my friend Kelly's house. We had to drop off her candle order, and Kelly invited us in for a short visit. We stayed only half an hour, but in that time, Savannah managed to finagle some crackers, and Jasmin managed to destroy her family room!

Check out the new photos!

With love,
Amy

Saturday, February 03, 2001 at 04:36 PM (CST)

Welcome back! Savannah's counts are back up, so we are off the neupogen shots temporarily. She is still dealing with neuropathy, and her oncologist said we can expect it to get worse, but she is alright. This will go away once chemotherapy is done.

I have been thinking about getting Savannah's hearing checked for about 4 - 5 months now, but then she was diagnosed with cancer, and we have been so busy concentrating on it that I failed to follow through with a hearing test. My good friend, April, is an audiologist. While having lunch with her and other friends today, I asked April about a hearing test for Savannah. She said it is crucial for children undergoing treatment to have a diagnostic and suggested lending a hand --doing the testing herself or researching an audiology department closer to us. April works at University of Illinois at Chicago. I think we will test her towards the end of next week, and we will keep you posted.

Other than that, life is pretty much normal here. Savannah is going to meet with one of her preschool teachers, Mrs. Weil, and a preschool friend on Monday morning to help set up the week's activities. Per our oncologists request, we had to pull Savannah out of school for the remainder of chemotherapy, but Mrs. Weil so graciously offered to do some recreation therapy on Mondays with Savannah when she is able. This Monday will be the first time, and I think it will be such a treat for her! After that, she has a short playdate with her best friend, Tori. We may be pushing too many activities on Monday, but Savannah really doesn't go anywhere, so I think she deserves to get out.

Thanks for the Day: To you for your support, for signing her guestbook and for checking in with her progress!

Thinking of You for the Day: To Haley, Eaon, Katharine, and Jamison. Savannah's friends at Hope. God bless all the children coping with childhood disease.

I found this quote on a couple of childhood cancer awareness sites and wanted to share it with you:

"They (children with cancer) reminded me of candles in the wind who accept that at best they are in danger of being extinguished by a gust of wind from nowhere and yet, as they flicker and dance to remain alive, their brilliance challenges the darkness and dazzles those of us who watch their light." --Erma Bombeck

All Our love,
Amy
Lance
Savannah
Jasmin

Thursday, February 01, 2001 at 08:10 PM (CST)

Dear Friends,

Savannah is fine -- no fevers, yea! Tomorrow she has clinic, so we find out how her counts are and how much longer she needs the neupogen injections this round. She did wake up this morning with what I believe to be signs of neuropathy, a side effect of chemotherapy. The best way I can describe neuropathy is damage to the nerves in feet or legs. Most children have difficulty walking because their feet and/or legs have that feeling of pins & needles. I had read about other children on chemotherapy who had this problem, so I wasn't surprised when Savannah complained about it to me. Savannah told me her foot hurt to walk, and she wanted me to carry her. This lasted for less than maybe ten minutes. Well, we'll be talking to the oncologists about that tomorrow. No worries, though, please!

Savannah is spending her days keeping healthy by painting, listening and dancing to music, playing doctor, and playing Chutes & Ladders on the computer. ;)

Yes, we need to update the pictures, and I think that will be my project for the weekend, so check back soon!

Savannah Says: She is very upset over Illinois' loss to Penn State. (Ok...so that's what LANCE says!)

Thinking of You for the Day: Uncle Charles who came to visit us this morning amidst an exhaustive travel schedule. We missed you, and, I especially, was warmed by your visit. Hope we see you soon. And hope you made it back home ok and are getting some rest??!!

Thanks for the Day: To Megan H. for the gifts donated by her Angel Fund. At 16, Megan started her own non-for-profit organization to bring happiness to children who are hospitalized or coping with illness. Having her own illness to deal with, Megan knew too well the emptiness of surgery after surgery and decided to devote positive energies to others. Way to go, Megan!

With love,
The Olsons

Tuesday, January 30, 2001 at 10:48 AM (CST)

Hi, all!

Savannah's spirits are bright and cheery despite the fact that she is nauseated from chemotherapy. I was at work for only twenty minutes, when Grammy called me to let me know. We gave her some Zofran (medicine to control the nausea), and she hasn't shown anymore signs.

I have decided that Savannah must watch too much of The Disney Channel, because she always is trying to tell me jokes like they do on "Joke Time." Hers are rather sweet. For example, she'll say "Mom, do you wanna here a joke?":
Q: What do a Mommy and Daddy do when they love you?
A: Love you!

Q: What does a bear do when a bear eats you?
A: Eats you!

Well, they make ME smile, at least!

So, I am staying home from my first day of work to keep my eye on her and the nausea. My mom said she really wanted me when she was getting sick, so I don't feel comfortable leaving her. Of course, I feel like I'm not being fair to my boss, who is being so understanding (understatement, truly).

Keep Savannah in your prayers that she makes it through this week without getting a fever or getting sick again. Please keep our immediate and extended family in your prayers as each one of us continues to "deal with" the pain of seeing their loved one who is only 3 years old battle cancer. We are comforted by her smiles, which are abundant, and are relieved by how patiently she deals with the treatment, but I know many hearts still hurt.

Much love to all. Stay Positive! Donate your blood (I can't ask you enough!)

Amy

Monday, January 29, 2001 at 01:57 PM (CST)

Welcome back and thanks for checking in!

Savannah was discharged from the hospital this morning! We haven't been too busy, but it seems we have a lot to report. Savannah, ONCE AGAIN, responded well to chemotherapy! Dr. Salvi was just about all smiles whenever he came to check on her. Phew! Of course, her counts are low, so tomorrow we start back on the neupogen, but if that's all I have on the downer side right now, then I'll take it. These ups and downs I see other families go through is so rough, so I'll take my plate and move on. Savannah is managing wonderfully!

Prior to hospitalization for in-patient chemotherapy, Lance's sisters, Tricia and Rachel, came up for a short but awesome visit. They brought Tricia and Fred's newborn, Sammy. As we've said before, Sammy was a source of inspiration during the dimness of December. Savannah was diagnosed in early December, and Sammy was born on December 22, so we had lots of good things to think about and talk about to keep us from being so down.

Anyhoo...Savannah got to hold Sammy and give him a bottle and snuggle with him and kiss him and hug him and love him. She is so in-love with him! And how could you not be? Truly a darling baby. Jasmin is crazy about him, too! She enjoys stroking his face and attempting to get a pinch in or two. (Tricia and I have too fast of hands for that!) Jasmin even had the pleasure of finding and bringing Sammy his pacifier one afternoon! I know she is my own, but darn it, she is just too sweet.

Lance & Jasmin fell rather ill on Friday when we were admitted for chemotherapy. Both had fevers and needed antibiotics. Savannah & I are staying at my parents' until Lance is FULLY recovered, and Jazzy will remain in Springfield until her symptoms have vanished, as well. Lance's heart is broken, and Savannah misses her daddy, but we'll muddle through, eh? And at least, Savannah or me didn't get sick! (Sorry Lance & Jazzy.) We hear Jasmin is coping fine with being sick but hear she HATES her medicine. I think she was off to get her first haircut this morning for a picker-up. Can't wait to know how it went.

We also had lots of visitors while at Hope. Grammy, Aunt Kissy (Grammy's best friend), Carey & Connie Saner (Carey's one of my best friends from college and Connie is her dear mother-in-law), and Kelly Kuch & John Andre (Kelly is a friend from our high school's reunion committee and John is her boyfriend). Thanks guys for making the time so special. I know that sounds wierd to say because we were at the hospital, but Savannah & I so enjoyed your company. She adored all of her gifts and goodies and liked playing with you! I haven't seen Carey in a year, since the baby shower she co-hosted for me in December 1999. It was good seeing her, even though she confirmed the bet b/t Lance and her for the Superbowl. Carey is a Marylander, so of course she accepted Lance taking the Giants. Carey -- you'll be getting a case of Bud Light pretty soon. Don't you and Todd drink it all at once, now!!!!

Well, Savannah is cleaning Grammy's house right now. Anyone hiring out? And speaking of that...I return to work tomorrow for 2 days per week at 5 hours per day. Let's hope I don't get let go for taking out my aggression on those who don't know what I'm dealing with at home! (you are supposed to chuckle here...)

Thanks for the day: To Ellen & Paul Meier for the Disney wigs for Savannah. She loves them, and we even decorated her IV pole as Belle while we were there!

Thinking of you for the Day: The Bukalas for the GREAT news! Congratulations on baby number one...hope you don't mind me broadcasting it!!!

Lots of hugs and lots of love to all,
"You Mean I Have to Work?" Amy
"I'm Out a Case of Beer Because of those D#*n Giants" Lance
"I Got to Go Home Today!" Savannah
"Let Me Just Spit This Medicine Back Out" Jasmin

Saturday, January 27, 2001 at 11:50 AM (CST)

Hello everyone.

Savannah is currently at Hope at for her inpatient chemo,I just talked to Amy and Savannah is doing great. I'm at home recovering from some kind of bug. I have been fever free since this morning and hope to be able to see Savannah tomorrow.

Amy wanted me to let everyone know that Savannah ate a hamburger yesterday and some chicken strips, who knows maybe she will turn out to be a meat eater after all.

That is pretty much it, not a whole lot going one. My tip of the week, take the Giants and the points. These Ravens talking about being the best defense ever, pahleassse. I don't remeber the '85 BEARS talking that kind of junk. They just went down to the bowl and kicked some butt.

Anyway, bye for now.

Wednesday, January 24, 2001 at 09:29 AM (CST)

Hello all !

Savannah is doing o.k. She stayed all night at Grammys house last night, at her request. She is very much looking forward to meeting Sammy today, as well as getting to see Tricia and Rachel.

Savannah got another hair cut yesterday, very short maybe an inch, very similar to mine. She said " Daddy, I look like you." and I said "Don't be ridiculous, you are much better looking than me."

Not much going on really, Savannah goes to Hope on Friday for 3 days of inpatient chemo. We will let everyone know how that goes.

Thought for the day: "23 Days till Spring Training, Go BIRDS."

Monday, January 22, 2001 at 11:25 PM (CST)

This actually be a short journal entry (is that possible for me?), because it is getting awfully late.

Our biggest and greatest news of the day is that Savannah is off her neupogen injections temporarily! YES! As soon as the nurse called to say that her white blood counts were (waaay) up, I let Savannah and Lance know we had some good news. Savannah jumped and shouted all across the playroom for over five minutes. We hugged. I cried. Nothing like these little things to make you feel great.

Well...don't get me wrong. We spend most of our days with smiles and hugs.

Savannah & Jasmin enjoyed a tubby tonight. They managed to decorate and clean my tub walls at the same time. Nothing beats shaving cream for a fun-filled bath toy!

Thanks for the Day: To Savannah- for letting me see that even being locked up at home for days can be fun!

Thinking of You of the Day: To Savannah- you have your first outing in 7 seven days tomorrow! Pizza it is!

Love,
Amy, Lance, Savannah and Jasmin

Sunday, January 21, 2001 at 09:36 AM (CST)

Savannah is doing just great! Although she is holed up here at home, she is having a fun weekend. Can you believe that she just completed week 6 of her chemotherapy? Her last day of chemotherapy is June 8, and I suppose THAT'S when we should have a party. Speaking of parties, Lance & I are trying to figure out still when we can schedule her Hatsy-Craftsy Party and when to reschedule Jasmin's first birthday party, but we need to see Savannah's blood count report tomorrow to have an idea of her blood count fluctuation. Isn't that nice --planning a party around blood counts! :)Smile :)Smile

I believe Lance & I have moved on to a new stage in coping with the cancer --from the out of the "funk" or "stupor" stage to wanting to be knowledgeable of the disease. I have moved from needing to be at Savannah's side constantly to needing to be able to understand Savannah's limitations right now (even Savannah understands them better than I do!), to be able to calculate her blood counts, and to reach out to other cancer kid parents.

Through the on-line support group I joined, I have learned information from coping to giving bath tricks. And I have met some of the well-known cancer moms and dads who have wrote books and organized foundations as I suppose an outlet for therapy. I have seen that this monster can produce positive results, allow cancer kids, moms, dads to smile and laugh, and bring peace.

I know that cancer has not touched many of you, and you don't know how to respond. That is okay. If you feel most comfortable with just letting us alone, that makes sense to me. But for those of you who want to talk to us and are uncertain, please know we welcome your phone calls and your e-mails. We are ready to get back to normal. Cancer will be a part of the rest of our lives, but life does go on. Anyway, I added a link to a page on the Hodgkin's web site about how to help those dealing with cancer. You might find it useful, and you might not. OR if you want to do something just for Savannah, please allow me SIMPLY to make a few suggestions:

*Savannah loves to wear her gold cancer pin everyday. The gold cancer symbol represents childhood cancer. There is web site that has other items with the symbol (like socks), and I think she'd get a kick out of some of them. www.goldribbons.org

*Arts & crafts keep her occupied at Hope - stickers, construction paper, watercolor paints

*Flashcards & workbooks - learning to read and write the alphabet and numbers

*Donate! Your blood to Lifesource or your local hospital, to Make-A-Wish Foundation or to Hope Children's Hospital Child Life Program. Savannah loves the playroom at Hope, but I think she has worn out about every toy! Send a puzzle, toy, game or donate $5.

We certainly don't expect you to do anything, and many of you have done already, but I just felt I should address this.

Thanks for the Day: To whomever bought Jerry The Sopranos video set collection. These last couple of days, after the girls are in bed and the house picked up, Lance & I retreat to a world we know nothing about. Such a break, and, wow, we are addicted now!

Thinking of You for the Day: Daniele and Jules who can't shake their ear infections! Yuk...been there and done that...Yuk!


Much Love,
"Loving to Indulge in a Glass of Wine and The Sopranos" Amy
"I Managed to Get a Ticket in Front of My Own House" Lance
"Sunshine and Smiles" Savannah
"I'll Keep You Jumping" Jasmin

Friday, January 19, 2001 at 02:42 PM (CST)

Everyone is home! I could add behind that sentence rows and rows of exclamation points, but I am certain you all know we are happy and thankful to be at home. Get this: the first thing Savannah did when she came home was play doctor with her dolls! Another Wilm's mom encouraged this role-playing because Savannah will reveal how she sees and understands the doctors/medical staff/hospital. Well, she was just so sweet to her "patients." She explained everything she was doing to them in a caring tone. What a relief that she knows the doctors/medical staff respect her.

Savannah feels great. She wants to go somewhere and do something, and I can understand her cabin fever. However, her white blood counts are still under a watchful eye, and from what Lance & I have learned about the numbers for white blood counts, we'd rather just keep her away from all the bugs out there. We'll be back at Hope next Friday, and that's soon enough for me.

As you may have guessed, Jasmin's birthday celebration has been post-poned. We're going to try a very small family party when Savannah's cycle has average blood counts, but I have to compute that yet. But tonight Lance, Savannah, Jasmin & I are going to have a little intimate family party of our own. We are baking Valentine's cupcakes (Savannah digs those holiday cupcakes), and we are going to enjoy --my favorite-- stuffed shells which my friend Kelly K. made for us. YUM!

I've mentioned to a few of you that I hope to develop a new web site for Savannah to incorporate lots more stuff like music, a page for Jazzy, and a scrolling marquee for "Savannah Says" but until I get that together...

Savannah Says: "When I grow up, I am going to be a doctor at Hope."

Thanks for the Day: Thanks to my long-time, dear friend, April, for calling this morning and telling me we are going out tomorrow night for a movie!

Thinking of You for the Day: Uncle Eric who had a couple of teeth pulled today, and Aunt Krissy who is recuperating from virus after virus.

Much love,
"Ready and Made Plans for a Night Out" Amy
"I Have Every Friday in January Off of Work" Lance
"I Can Do This" Savannah
"I'll Smile As Much As You Like" Jasmin

Friday, January 19, 2001 at 02:42 PM (CST)

Everyone is home! I could add behind that sentence rows and rows of exclamation points, but I am certain you all know we are happy and thankful to be at home. Get this: the first thing Savannah did when she came home was play doctor with her dolls! Another Wilm's mom encouraged this role-playing because Savannah will reveal how she sees and understands the doctors/medical staff/hospital. Well, she was just so sweet to her "patients." She explained everything she was doing to them in a caring tone. What a relief that she knows the doctors/medical staff respect her.

Savannah feels great. She wants to go somewhere and do something, and I can understand her cabin fever. However, her white blood counts are still under a watchful eye, and from what Lance & I have learned about the numbers for white blood counts, we'd rather just keep her away from all the bugs out there. We'll be back at Hope next Friday, and that's soon enough for me.

As you may have guessed, Jasmin's birthday celebration has been post-poned. We're going to try a very small family party when Savannah's cycle has average blood counts, but I have to compute that yet. But tonight Lance, Savannah, Jasmin & I are going to have a little intimate family party of our own. We are baking Valentine's cupcakes (Savannah digs those holiday cupcakes), and we are going to enjoy --my favorite-- stuffed shells which my friend Kelly K. made for us. YUM!

I've mentioned to a few of you that I hope to develop a new web site for Savannah to incorporate lots more stuff like music, a page for Jazzy, and a scrolling marquee for "Savannah Says" but until I get that together...

Savannah Says: "When I grow up, I am going to be a doctor at Hope."

Thanks for the Day: Thanks to my long-time, dear friend, April, for calling this morning and telling me we are going out tomorrow night for a movie!

Thinking of You for the Day: Uncle Eric who had a couple of teeth pulled today, and Aunt Krissy who is recuperating from virus after virus.

Much love,
"Ready and Made Plans for a Night Out" Amy
"I Have Every Friday in January Off of Work" Lance
"I Can Do This" Savannah
"I'll Smile As Much As You Like" Jasmin

Friday, January 19, 2001 at 01:30 PM (CST)

Everyone is home! I could add behind that sentence rows and rows of exclamation points, but I am certain you all know we are happy and thankful to be at home. Get this: the first thing Savannah did when she came home was play doctor with her dolls! Another Wilm's mom encouraged this role-playing because Savannah will reveal how she sees and understands the doctors/medical staff/hospital. Well, she was just so sweet to her "patients." She explained everything she was doing to them in a caring tone. What a relief that she knows the doctors/medical staff respect her.

Savannah feels great. She wants to go somewhere and do something, and I can understand her cabin fever. However, her white blood counts are still under a watchful eye, and from what Lance & I have learned about the numbers for white blood counts, we'd rather just keep her away from all the bugs out there. We'll be back at Hope next Friday, and that's soon enough for me.

As you may have guessed, Jasmin's birthday celebration has been post-poned. We're going to try a very small family party when Savannah's cycle has average blood counts, but I have to compute that yet. But tonight Lance, Savannah, Jasmin & I are going to have a little intimate family party of our own. We are baking Valentine's cupcakes (Savannah digs those holiday cupcakes), and we are going to enjoy --my favorite-- stuffed shells which my friend Kelly K. made for us. YUM!

I've mentioned to a few of you that I hope to develop a new web site for Savannah to incorporate lots more stuff like music, a page for Jazzy, and a scrolling marquee for "Savannah Says" but until I get that together...

Savannah Says: "When I grow up, I am going to be a doctor at Hope."

Thanks for the Day: Thanks to my long-time, dear friend, April, for calling this morning and telling me we are going out tomorrow night for a movie!

Thinking of You for the Day: Uncle Eric who had a couple of teeth pulled today, and Aunt Krissy who is recuperating from virus after virus.

Much love,
"Ready and Made Plans for a Night Out" Amy
"I Have Every Friday in January Off of Work" Lance
"I Can Do This" Savannah
"I'll Smile As Much As You Like" Jasmin

Wednesday, January 17, 2001 at 07:10 PM (CST)

Two entries in one day???? Can you all keep up? Hee hee.

Just wanted to report that Grammy was able to bring by Jasmin for a bit. Grammy spent some time with Savannah watching E.T., while Lance & I took Jazzy down to the cafeteria for a "birthday dinner." Naturally, we never expected to spend her 1st birthday here or this way...but...Wow! The girls were so thrilled to see each other. Though Savannah is in reverse isolation (meaning anyone entering the room has to wear gloves & a mask -other than Lance or myself) and though she is in a postive pressure room (filters out germs), the med staff allowed Jasmin to come into Savannah's room! They giggled and just enjoyed being in each other's presence. Such a delight for me to see them both so happy! Thanks, Grammy, for the short trip down!

What else? Since Savannah can't leave her room or go to the Child Life Playroom , the Child Life Specialist brought her a new doll with 4 changes of clothes. Being here isn't so unfun after all!

I have joined an on-line parents suppport group just this week...and if any of you moms or dads from Ped-Onc are reading this, thanks for the support already given to me. You know I will be ready to return it as soon as Savannah's discharged this go-around.

I feel good...though we are here, yesterday & today with Savannah have been really nice. As I mentioned before, we've been doing lots of arts & crafts. Using an idea from another girl diagnosed with Wilm's, Savannah named her I.V. pole "Cassie." We had a blast thinking up of ways to decorate her, and even her nurses call her I.V. pole "Cassie!" :)

We still haven't heard if Savannah will be discharged tomorrow or Friday, but that's ok. She is getting better each hour that we are here, and I can tell just since this morning how much better she feels. Plus, Savannah has this spirit that endures hospital stays with ease.

Will let you know tomorrow how Savannah is doing. Thanks to all for following Savannah's progress. And a special thanks to Krissy, too, for making the picture. Yes, Savannah loved it!

Once Again...Happy Birthday, Jasmin! We will celebrate soon!!!!!! Love, Mommy, Daddy & Savannah

Wednesday, January 17, 2001 at 08:53 AM (CST)

Happy Birthday, Jasmin!!! Congrats on your 1st birthday, angelcakes. Savannah & I are anxious to see you to give you a huge birthday hug!

So...here Savannah is...back at Hope. She was admitted yesterday for a fever. The rooms are filled up here with other chemotherapy patients coming in for the same reason. A resident tells me bronchialitis (spelling?) is going around, and the chemo-kids are getting it. Savannah seems ok. (I still beam with pride on how she handles being here so much...Keep it up, sweetie!) Her fever has been under control since we arrived. She claims she just doesn't feel good, but she is active in bed with her arts & crafts. She loves to do stickers, paint and glue confetti cutouts from scrap construction paper. Today we are going to make birthday cards for Jazzy.

Thanks to all the Lotti-Friends who continue to send in hats and little gifts. Savannah received about 6 or 7 packages yesterday, and opening them up was a perfect
start to this stay at Hope. She just loves seeing what hats you all find!!!

**We hope Savannah will be released tomorrow or Friday.**

As always, keep the faith, donate blood and stay positive...
Love,
Amy

Monday, January 15, 2001 at 09:01 AM (CST)

Jasmin is home! The girls smiled and hugged lots when they first saw each other...what a moment!

Savannah is doing just fine. We have been watching her for fever as her white blood count is dangerously low this week due to last round of chemo. She seems alright! Lots of energy. She is responding great to the home health nurse & injections. Of course she gets frightened, but she helps prepare for the nurse's arrival (to help her have some control over the situation), and she loves talking to the nurse, too.

Well, I must sign off, now. Look for a fun week at the Olson's, as Jazzy turns 1 on Wednesday! We have planned a family party to celebrate on Saturday.

Much love,
Amy

Monday, January 15, 2001 at 08:53 AM (CST)

Jasmin is back at home, and Savannah and Jasmin couldn't stop smiling when they first saw each other! How I relished that moment...

Savannah is doing just fine, as we watch out for fevers or infections because her white blood count is dangerously low this week.

But mostly Savannah, Lance & I look forward to Wednesday, because Jazzy turns 1! And on Saturday we will celebrate with a family birthday party.

That's all for now!
Love,
Amy

Friday, January 12, 2001 at 01:48 PM (CST)

Dear Friends, Family and Visitors--

Savannah is happy to be home! She continues to color and paint, and yesterday Grammy & I took her on a little shopping spree! Kit got a couple of new outfits, and Savannah enjoyed her mall pizza snack!!!

Our home health nurse visited last night to teach Lance & I how to give Savannah her neupogen injections. Neupogen is an immunity booster which Savannah needs from her last round of inpatient chemotherapy. We have to give it to her every night for a total of 14 shots. Luckily, the home health nurse works with us for up to 7 visits.

On the bright side...Savannah's new do is ADORABLE! She loves it, and boy, did she ever receive the compliments at clinic today on her new do. Check out the photo album to see Savannah's new look!

But most importantly, one of Grammy's dearest fellow-Helmut Lotti-Fanclub-friends-and-email/web site-penpals organized a Thru The Mail Hat Party for Savannah. Yesterday she received 10 hats in the mail, and today she received 6 more! Now Savannah's interest in a hat party at home is back again (tentative plans for early February)! My heart broke when Grammy & I realized how and who devised this caring plan! Thank you, Coco, for brightening her days. And thanks to the hat givers for giving and for caring without having met Savannah...from California to Massachusetts, everywhere in-between and from the other side of the globe, Savannah has made new friends and is loved.

And I can't sign off without thanking Laura Temple from First United Methodist Church for her vigilance. Laura has organized volunteers to cook us dinner, to babysit, or to run errands! Her ideas and her time are endless. Thank you...thank you...

Signing off with a happy heart, and until next time, please keep the faith, donate your blood and stay positive,
Lovingly, Amy, Lance, & Savannah (we miss you lots, Jazzy-baby!)

Wednesday, January 10, 2001 at 09:17 AM (CST)

Savannah is going home today! Yea!! Our first stop will be for her hair appointment. We swear this is still her idea!

To Savannah: I think you will look so sweet with the new hairstyle you have selected all by yourself! You are such a delight, and I hope you know how proud I am of you. You handled this hospital stay with grace, and I think you finally are coming around to the staff.

To Old & New Friends and Family:
Click on the photo album link below to check out photos we uploaded yesterday. As soon as we get a picture developed of Savannah with her new do, we will post it and let you know!

We love you, Savannah, and we miss you tons, Jazzy!

Tuesday, January 09, 2001 at 02:03 PM (CST)

Today is definitely a new day. Savannah's spirits have hardly faltered. She woke up this morning announcing with passion that tomorrow she gets to go home!

Unfortunately, Savannah's red blood count is very low, so this afternoon she will be receiving a transfusion through her IV: one unit of blood. Please, friends & family, call your local hospital or local Lifesource and donate your blood. I hear this is the time of year when donations are dangerously low, and types B & O are the ones hurting the most. Savannah is B+. Savannah can't receive blood from family, but perhaps you donating your blood will help someone else out there. You CAN make a difference.

Savannah is excited because yesterday I started working on organizing a 5-K run/walk this summer to benefit Wilms Tumor research and the Pediatric Cancer Institute here at Hope (which currently is accepting donations for its expansion this spring). We decided to shoot for a June date around her birthday, and we hope to make this an annual event. Keep posted for more details. Our tentative title for the race? Steps for Savannah.

Also look for more information on fundraisers for Savannah and her medical expenses. I believe we will be fine, because we have excellent insurance, but you never know, and our social worker encouraged us to set up a fund. This is all in the conceptualization stage. (So far two fundraisers are planned: one possibly will be a golf outing.) These events help with all my cooped up energy and keep me focused and keep my brain from turning on me!:) I am so excited about them. We expect to hold both in the Woodridge/Downers Grove area.

Savannah & I are looking forward to my Uncle Tom's visit this month. He is travelling from Italy for about a two-week stay...and would you believe this one, Tom works for Italy's National Cancer Institute.
Also, my Uncle Chuck is hoping to visit during the same time.

Update on the hat party: Savannah isn't too thrilled. So if you haven't received or don't receive any invitation, don't be surprised.

Lastly, even though Savannah was diagnosed over one month ago, I am certain that many of you still have questions about Wilms and about how to deal with cancer in general. If you don't feel comfortable asking (you can ask us whatever!), I started to add links to helpful sites.

Much love...
Amy

Monday, January 08, 2001 at 01:38 PM (CST)

Savannah is responding well to this round of chemotherapy which she has received at 9:00pm and 10:00pm every night since Friday night. Tomorrow night is her last night! So far she hasn't had any of the immediate side effects (nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, UTI...), and the other side effects (mouth sores and fever...) won't appear for 7 - 10 days after this treatment is completed.

Savannah has made two friends during this hospital stay. As of today, both of them have been released. Savannah told me she was happy her friends got to go home. Not once did she say, "I wish I get to go home." Amazing.

Savannah's been enjoying her stay, really. She's had some visitors & gifts (another addition to her Teddy Bear collection which she started during her last hospital stay. It is awesome!). Today she played with a friend in the playroom, ate a large size french fry from McDonald's and assisted the nurse's aide in changing her bed! What a day! Savannah also spends her time drawing. She loves drawing smiley faces and treasure maps. She just learned to draw trees and clouds today, and she is a whiz at drawing fish!

Savannah also occupies her time thinking about her baby sister, Jasmin. Jasmin is having a ball in Cantrall with her Nana, Papa, Auntie Lou and Aunt Krissy. Savannah & I call her about twice a day, and we hear that she loves to watch her newest movie: " Baby Van Gogh" which she got because she loves two other movies in the series: "Baby Mozart" and "Baby Bach." Maybe these movies will nuture artistic abilities in Jazzy, too!

Savannah asks about her only first cousin, Sam, a lot, too. Sam was born December 22, 2000, and his arrival was a source of brightness for us during the initially dim time of her diagnosis. He is angelic, and Savannah loves him deeply already.

Savannah has asked us to make an appointment to get her haircut like mine, though I don't know why because I am going to get mine cut shorter! We have an appointment in a few days...

Look for new pictures to be posted shortly.

Thanks to you all for your support. From the phone calls to the gifts to the dinners to the cards...each sign of care and love you gave meant more than you know.

Until next time...Keep the Faith...We love you, Savannah! And we miss you, Jasmin!
Mommy & Daddy

Saturday, January 06, 2001 at 03:39 PM (CST)

On December 8, 2000, at age 3, Savannah was diagnosed by oncologist Dr. Salvi from Hope Children's Hospital in Oak Lawn, IL, with Wilms' Tumor. For one month prior she was being treated by her pediatrician for constipation. Savannah had complained of pain when she pushed in her umbilical hernia. However, two XRays within four weeks prior to diagnosis indicated severe constipation, showed no urgency to surgery for the hernia, and showed no signs of the tumor.

The constipation and gas distention explained to her pediatrician why her stomach was protruding rapidly and why whenever she ate she cautiously ate very little amounts because "it may hurt her tummy."

And then four days prior to diagnosis, Savannah fell ill with the flu. In fact, we still don't know if she actually had the flu or if the cancer was presenting itself. Besides the abdominal distention (now worrying the heck out of me -- mommy) and the constipation, Savannah was vomiting, running a fever, and was lethargic. She said she "just didn't feel good."

After trying to battle her fever for 3 days, I couldn't do it anymore and feared she had a bacterial infection. One look by her pediatrician, and Savannah and I were off to Hinsdale Hospital to see the gastronologist. Perhaps she had some sort of blockage?

Of course, the next day after several enemas, yet another Xray, and a CT scan, Dr. Salvi told us she had Wilms' Tumor, and he transferred to Hope Children's hospital.

On December 11, 2000 -just 3 days after diagnosis- Savannah had surgery. Only her right kidney was removed along with the tumor, which ended up to be the size of the football. (No wonder her new coat barely zipped up and her new shirts were getting smaller). She had looked 9 months pregnant to me.

The surgery proved successful, and the biopsies showed no sign of the cancer spreading to her liver or lymph nodes. And dear Savannah recovered amazingly. However, she was Stage 2 with unfavorable histiology.

Savannah was set for 24 weeks of chemotherapy with 7 radiation treatments. She has completed radiation with such brevity and compliance. Whew-hoo, Savannah! How I admire your courage. I draw my strength from her!

She has had 3 rounds of chemo and now is hospitalized for her 4th- cyclophosphimide. So far she is responding "very well," as her oncologists advise us.

Way to go, Savannah! You keep up that spirit, keep smiling and keep knowing that you are loved worldwide.

All My Love,
Mommy

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