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Welcome to Angel Kaitlyn's web page. Hopefully this page and the journal entries will keep everyone informed on how our family is handling losing our little princess!!

September 14, 2004 Kaitlyn Jane Boney was diagnosed with Stage IV Neuroblastoma. A childhood cancer of the sympathetic nervous system. Kaitlyn's cancer orginally started in the adrenal gland in her abdomen. At the time of diagnosis the cancer had spread to her bone marrow and various other sites.

The plan of action to cure our princess was 6 rounds of chemotherapy, surgery to remove the remainder of the tumor in the abdomen, stem cell transplant, radiation and finally retinoic acid. Unfortunately the cancer was stronger than the little princess and she gained her angel wings on August 7th, 2005. She was a strong spirited little girl that fought all the way to the end. She is now playing in heaven with her grandma Mary and watching over us every day.

WE LOVE AND MISS HER SO MUCH!!!!!!


We really appreciate the continued love and prayers!

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I would like to share something that I received a few days ago. It was written and given to me by Ashley Root. Ashley is one of Kaitlyn's best friends.

SMILE KAITLYN
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Kaitlyn, Kaitlyn will you simile for me? Cause when you smile at me everyday I know you're ok. So smile at me.

All you have to do is smile and everyone goes crazy. Because we know you're going to make it through. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you'll make it through someday. It might take awhile but you'll be ok. And Kaitlyn, Kaitlyn will you smile for me? Cause when you smile at me everyday I know you're ok. So smile at me.

And when you smile you make the whole world go wild. For you. And we almost forget you are sick until we look at you. When we look at you we remember that terrible thing that happened. And when we remember that terrible thing we wish it never happened. But it did so Kaitlyn, Kaitlyn will you smile for me? Cause when you smile at me everyday I know you're ok. I said will you smile at me Kaitlyn? Because I love you. I love you Kaitlyn.

We all love Kaitlyn so much and I thought this was the perfect writing to have on her home page. (Thank you Ashley!!!!)


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Journal

Tuesday, August 7, 2007 10:47 AM CDT

To my dearest sweet Kaitlyn,
Hi sweetheart. I hope you are having a wonderful day in heaven. Mommy misses you so very much. It was 2 years ago today that your innocent little body gave away to the cancer and you drifted peacefully off to heaven. I have spent many hours wondering about your entrance into heaven. Was it glorious with big rays of sunshine illuminating you as you reached the pearly gates, was Grandma Mary there to meet you and show you around heaven? Once you walked through the gates of heaven was there a big party waiting for you? I sure hope so. Mommy tried really hard to talk to you about heaven so that you wouldn't be scared. I can only imagine now that you have been in heaven for two years that you have made so many friends young and old. I hope your days are filled with endless hours of love, peace and plain old fun. Thank you so much for the rainbow on your birthday. Jeffy actually saw it first and then showed me, and I knew instantly that was your gift to me, your sign that you are ok. I think about you ever single day. I still can't believe all we went through together in just 4 short years. You were a mini me and my best friend. Your humor was a pure joy. Your smile would light up the room, and those big dark eyes would just melt my heart. I am so sorry that you had to endure such pain. I wished and prayed back then that I could take it all away. Do what mommies are suppose to do best, make it all better with a kiss and a hug. Well sweetheart, I kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and hugged and hugged and hugged and hugged but I couldn't make it all better. God, I tried everything I could to make it all better but my efforts didn't work, atleast not the way I wanted them to. Since modern medicine and all my hugs and kisses didn't seem to be working to make it all better, God stepped in a healed you by taking you to heaven. I never ever wanted you to be in pain or hurt. I still struggle daily with the guilt. I know deep inside that I did everything I could and more but as the mommy I do struggle with feeling like I failed you. Please know that I never meant too. You were my pride and joy. You honestly have no idea what you mean to me. The day you were born was one of the best days of my life. I had a daughter, a sweet little girl to call my own. I talked about you all the time, just ask my former co-workers! I was and still am so proud of you and proud to be your mommy. I remember all about your labor and delivery. You were being a little stinker and wanted to push all around my back. Wow, that hurt!! Finally the doctor decided that you weren't coming so we decided to go in and get you out. I still can't believe that you were 10lbs 9.6 ozs. You were the most adorable baby girl I had ever seen, but maybe I was just a little bias. Time just seemed to fly by and many things changed. Your daddy and I decided to end our marriage and you and I moved to Aledo. I will always treasure those memories. I am sure you remember our McDonald's picnics on the living room floor. We only had a tv, a chair, mommy's bed and your bed but we managed and made great memories out of the experience. Then Jeffy came into our lives and we moved into the apartment next to the library. It was small but served us well. And then you got a roommate, a big sissy to share your room with. You loved having Kristi around to play with you. Then one day mommy and Jeffy told you that you would have another playmate in about nine months. Mommy was pregnant!! You were so excited about having a little brother. You loved to rub my tummy and talk to Ryan. The day Ryan was born you went out to breakfast with papa and grandma Valerie and then came back to the hospital to meet your new little brother, Ryan. You were so sweet to him, and I thought right then and there you would be such a good mommy, but sadly life had other plans. Ryan loved having you as a big sister. He still talks about you all the time. Mommy has pictures of you, and us all over the house and Ryan points to you and kisses the pictures and says that is sissy Kaitlyn. I wish you two could have had more time together. I will always treasure the memories of you two playing. You had so much fun driving Ryan around in your barbie jeep and playing on the swingset and play equipment. And I can still hear you saying RYANNNNNNNNN when you would get annoyed with him. I think you would have been really close forever. Ryan is growing up so fast, he just turned four on July 30th. And do you want to hear something? We were having his party, it was Spongebob, and I was standing by the counter and Ryan grabbed my hand and said, "Mommy, someone is missing!" I looked at him and said "what, someone is missing, who is missing? He looked right into my eyes and said "sissy Kaitlyn!! she is missing from my party!". Oh Kaitlyn, my heart just melted and I gave him a huge hug and said I know she is missing but she is here with us even though we can't see her. He smiled and went off to play with his new toys. So see sweetheart, he still remembers you and misses you as much as we do. I see so much of you in your little brother, it just amazes me how much the two of you are alike. Ryan will be starting preschool in two weeks. I know how much you wanted to go to school and I am sorry that you never got to go to a real school. But you did get a little bit of school from teacher Sue at the hospital. You really liked her and learning new things. I hope I will be ok when I take Ryan to school that first day. I would love it if you would somehow try to help me through that day, mommy will need it. I have spent the last two years in a state of denial. I have broken down a few times but the pain is so intense that it just feels easier to be in denial. Each and every day I struggle with how to keep your memory alive and how to be happy. I know that you would never want me to be sad all the time but my heart just continues to ache. I want to be a good mommy to Ryan and live a happy life with my family. But it just seems wrong to be happy when you are not here with us. I am trying and working on finding happiness here on Earth and looking forward to the day we are reunited in heaven. I want you to be watching me from heaven and be proud of me. Kaitlyn you mean so very much to me and I feel so blessed to be your mommy. I thank God for each day that he allowed you to be a part of my life. You brought, sunshine, love, playfulness, energy, humor and so much more into my heart and life. Please know that you will always be my daughter and I will always remember you and love you with all my heart and soul. I am always looking for your little signs to me so please keep sending them, Mommy needs those signs so very much!!!!! Kaitlyn, MOMMY LOVES YOU ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN AND BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,
Mommy

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Hospital Information:

Patient Room: Heaven

University of Iowa Hospital and Clinics
200 Hawkins Drive
Iowa City, Iowa 52242
319-356-3070

 
 

E-mail Author: ilfl2g@yahoo.com

 
 

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