Nicolaus T. Sandoval

September 12, 2002 at age 11, Nick was diagnosed with a rare bone cancer called Osteosarcoma. We have been on a scary emotional roller coaster ride every since. In December the Dr O’donnel removed 7 inches of Nick’s bone on his right thigh and replaced his knee. We just finished 10 months of chemo and now we are going to our first outpatient appointment. I thank God every day for giving us a little more time with Nicolaus. In the bible is says “When this tent we live in – our body here on earth - is torn down, God will have a house in heaven for us to live in, a home he himself has made, which will last forever”. Through all this, I am seeking Gods will in our lives and learning how to live for eternity. This life is preparation for the next. Thanks for praying for us and keeping in touch. We love you.

Journal

Wednesday, September 10, 2003 1:06 PM CDT

I almost couldn't finish reading the following letter that was emaild to me today, but than an overwhelming peace came over me when I did... when fear tries to rear it's ugly head and turn the focus on God's promises in the Word and fear disappears. That's why it so important to memorize scripture, you can use them like you use a sword in battle and cut out those evil thoughts that pop into your head and they flee from you. I thank God everyday for my family and friends and I pray for strength and discipline every day to stay focused on Him. God is teaching me to pray to in Him in all circumstances and wait and listen for his guidance… just another step on my journey.

Rose Sandoval

PS Nick is back to school and doing well, he climbed a rock wall this weekend and made it all the way to the top!!!Tomorrow he gets his Broviac taken out (yea!!!). He can't wait....he sends his love to all

The Invisible Letter

Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?"
The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."
Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care anymore?
Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"

The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the University."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to her son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.

"Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, "Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house.

She carried Jimmy's belongings and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things, back in his room exactly where he had always kept them.
She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter.. The letter said:

Dear Mom,

I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you will not be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room, and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, y'know.

Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and
Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures.
Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him.

Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on
God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, y'know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions:

'Where was He when I needed him?'

God said, He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the
Book of Life.

Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore ... and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either.

That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was Special Delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from:

God, Jesus & Me.

Read past journal entries

Hospital Information:

Patient Room: 5330

Children Hospital Oakland

Oakland
510/428-3885 x4842

Email address  : jrndj@msn.com